S11.E06: I See Red Flags

[humbleopinion]

Unfiltered: Amani, Karen, Viv, JamieO
Amani and Karen look stylish.

Karen looks like a toddler in that big chair in her brown robe...those are ginormous chairs.

Brett’s efficiency in app dating is could have been conveyed to Olivia in a nicer way but Viv says Brett is all about the sheer numbers  so can’t be faulted. He’s a bag of dicks....too many to count.

Woody is knocking it out of the ballpark with Amani.

Edited August 20, 2020 by humbleopinion

[Yeah No]

2 hours ago, Empress1 said:

I do not like Karen’s insinuation that Miles having depression makes him less masculine. I commend Miles for talking about it on camera. He’s right that there’s a stigma in the Black community, especially among Black men, against dealing with mental health and emotion and maybe him being open will help someone else who needs it.

Granted that Karen is Miss Superiority and is hung up on masculinity, and I certainly think it's commendable for Miles to be open about something as serious as clinical depression (although he could have picked a better time after the honeymoon).  I've had that myself and it's no joke.  But all that said, he claims he was diagnosed two years ago and is still taking medication.  A bout of clinical depression on the average lasts about 9 months.  After two years, we're talking chronic depression, and that's a HUGE red flag.  Again with me and my Master's in Psychology talking, but if a guy I only just met said that to me I'd be looking for the door, seriously.  I feel sorry for the guy, but the way he acted was like he was diagnosed and now it's a lifelong illness, which is very unhealthy.  I would not want to be married to someone with that issue.  I can't believe the show allowed him to be matched with anyone.  I know that sounds harsh, but seriously I wouldn't want to be signed on to deal with someone with that problem.  That's a big deal and not something you can work through so easily with someone you only just met.

[CSunshine76]

44 minutes ago, Soup333 said:

They’re unevenly yoked. She’s probably been in relationships where she’s made more money and then has felt like she has to dumb down her tastes or pay all the time. If a high income was a dealbreaker I can under why she’s upset that the experts ignored her wishes. 

I agree with this, I’d like to know what she told the “experts”.  If she makes 2 or 2.5 times more than him, that’s A LOT in my opinion.  I’m single, and I’d be okay making more than my husband, but I’d be concerned if it was that much more (if we were close in age, same experience in respective fields, etc). I’d wonder if he had the same ambition and drive that I do.

Edited August 20, 2020 by CSunshine76

[Adeejay]

I thought Christina rather rude with the producers and Waitstaff.  Can't help but wonder why she applied to the show, because she seems to think she is above it.

Someone should probably tell Karen that manly men are allowed to show emotions.

It probably wasn't a good idea for Olivia to tell Brett, "keep doing what makes you happy."

 

 

[Yeah No]

45 minutes ago, Soup333 said:

They’re unevenly yoked. She’s probably been in relationships where she’s made more money and then has felt like she has to dumb down her tastes or pay all the time. If a high income was a dealbreaker I can under why she’s upset that the experts ignored her wishes. 

Seriously, I don't blame her.  It's obvious that the two of them were not matched well at all.  I can remember being on dates like that with guys whose entire outlooks were completely different from mine.  One guy's idea of a great restaurant was Denny's while I'm a total foodie and follow all the famous gourmet chefs.  His favorite musical artists were Barry Manilow and Neil Diamond while I was into Led Zeppelin and the Stones.  His mother was like Edith Bunker while mine was reading Betty Friedan.  I loved classical music and he loved elevator music.  He was a total male chauvinist while my mother was working full time and attending women's rights meetings.  You see where this is going.....

[Jax7917]

Can Miles and Olivia be together ? God , Brett and Karen are buzz kills . 

[ECM1231]

2 hours ago, Silver Bells said:

Brett & Olivia .. She has a lot to say.  A lot of rules and restrictions.  I’d be very surprised if they stay together.

What surprised me even more was how full her single life seemed to be. She works long hours, and not even a traditional 9-5 and yet she's still up for going out with friends a lot of weeknights. She doesn't cook and enjoys dining out. Brett works 8-4 and no weekends. He doesn't have a lot of extra money for dining out. Plus he's very health conscious and prefers to cook his own dinner. She wants a partner to do fun things with but yet Brett was right to question whether Olivia will make enough time for him.

[Empress1]

32 minutes ago, Yeah No said:

A bout of clinical depression on the average lasts about 9 months.  After two years, we're talking chronic depression, and that's a HUGE red flag.  Again with me and my Master's in Psychology talking, but if a guy I only just met said that to me I'd be looking for the door, seriously.  I feel sorry for the guy, but the way he acted was like he was diagnosed and now it's a lifelong illness, which is very unhealthy. 

I don't know that persistent depressive disorder is unhealthy - I mean, if he has it, he has it. My friend is married to a man with bipolar disorder that he manages with therapy and medication, and he will need to do so for the rest of his life in the same way that anyone with a chronic illness needs to manage that illness. If that's what Miles is dealing with, that's part of the package. People who struggle with their mental health deserve love too. Miles seems to be handling his well - I liked what he said about knowing he was a responsibility to Karen to let her know how he's feeling.

And I think this is an instance where, even though they just met, it's a thing he needs to tell her early because if he doesn't, it looks like he was hiding it from her. I might have waited until after the honeymoon to disclose it, but I wouldn't have waited much longer (like, the first day or two after we're back).

I'm surprised that Brett makes that much less than Olivia. Nurse practitioners do well for themselves, especially if they're in certain specialties, but I think Brett is in IT and that can be lucrative too. If I had to guess, I would guess that Olivia makes just over six figures (like between $100 - $150K), so Brett might make $50K. I'd guess he lives check to check and she doesn't, which matters and is probably at the root of their different attitudes - he can't afford to spend the way she does, and if he has to choose between saving money and having fun, he prioritizes saving (what I think he was saying with "I prefer to invest" or whatever he said). Olivia can likely sock away money AND take trips and go out to eat. 

I did agree with Brett that if Olivia is on the phone with her mom and FaceTiming her best friend every day AND she has a demanding job, there might not be room for him and they should maybe look at that. Like, could she talk to them every other day, or for shorter periods of time each day while they prioritize getting to know each other?

I stopped watching this halfway through. I'll finish tomorrow.

Edited August 20, 2020 by Empress1

[Yeah No]

45 minutes ago, princelina said:

Henry seemed to loosen up a little this week.  When Christina talks about wanting him to be the aggressor/make a move, does she mean sexually?  I wouldn't be able to have sex with a guy who could barely look at or talk to me.  Also I would like to snark about the fact that the worldly and sophisticated Christina did not know what a portobello mushroom is 😄 

Can I snark about the fact that Henry was worried that he was going to become a "widow"?  LOL, like he doesn't even know that the term for a man is "widower"!   It's bad enough that he already acts like a limp noodle but then he goes and further emasculates himself!   🙄

 

[Hangin Out]

1 hour ago, Jaclyn88 said:

Bretts annoying , but I thought Olivia was trying to pick a fight at dinner . She asked how much he makes and he told her , and she was like just to let you know I like to go out to eat a lot , spend A lot on vacations , buy expensive wine , buy nice things etc .. and he’s like i like cheap wine and I like to invest in something long term .. and she got pissy over it . I get that you don’t want someone who’s cheap and a tight wad , but I wouldn’t want to be with someone who always needs the most expensive , up to date stuff and I agree with him , some cheaper wines taste just as good ! 

Olivia is becoming a pain in the ass.  They didn’t even get home yet and she’s telling him where they should go and do after dinner.  He probably wants to go with his buddies and knock off a few.  Without her.

[ECM1231]

1 hour ago, Soup333 said:

Bennett’s feet are so dirty. Reminds of that guy a few seasons ago that lived in a bus. Disgusting. 

Well he did say on MAFS Unfiltered last week that hygiene was not one of his strong suits. He's honest, at least.

I'm crushing on Bennett; I think he's adorable and I love the thoughtful, interesting conversations he and Amelia have.

How adorable was it when he said he and his sister had to give kisses in order to do something? His family sounds so loving!

[Hangin Out]

1 hour ago, Myrtle Urkele said:

I think it's a good call to maybe wait until the honeymoon was over too, but it can be a lot to take in. That being said, I don't think Karen is a good judge of character or good communicator. Her equating masculinity with mental health shows immaturity on her part

There goes any sex between them.  Down the drain after that remark.

[Yeah No]

14 minutes ago, Empress1 said:

I don't know that persistent depressive disorder is unhealthy - I mean, if he has it, he has it. My friend is married to a man with bipolar disorder that he manages with therapy and medication, and he will need to do so for the rest of his life in the same way that anyone with a chronic illness needs to manage that illness. If that's what Miles is dealing with, that's part of the package. People who struggle with their mental health deserve love too. Miles seems to be handling his well - I liked what he said about knowing he was a responsibility to Karen to let her know how he's feeling.

And I think this is an instance where, even though they just met, it's a thing he needs to tell her early because if he doesn't, it looks like he was hiding it from her. I might have waited until after the honeymoon to disclose it, but I wouldn't have waited much longer (like, the first day or two after we're back).

Of course they deserve love, but to be matched with a stranger a huge issue like that is only going to make things all the harder because it can negatively impact their relationship from ever getting off the ground.  It's not the same as being matched with a diabetic or something like that because of that.  A chronic illness that's under control is one thing but something that affects your moods and hence your ability to relate to your significant others is a huge load to put on someone that didn't sign on for that kind of role.  If you meet someone and fall in love with them and are willing to accept their issues and conditions, great, go get married, but to be married and involuntarily signed on to deal with chronic depression from the start is a huge load and one that would be difficult enough if they already knew and liked each other, but even huger and more prone to failure in this situation.  And it can be unhealthy and a sign that getting involved with him will not be easy.  Not all chronic depressives are completely successfully treated.  It looks to me like the focus will be on him and his "moods" and she is not looking for a project.  I just don't think it was a good idea to match him with that issue with her.  I was so hoping he was as good as he seemed at first but little by little I am getting disappointed.

Edited August 20, 2020 by Yeah No

[Koalagirl]

All of that couple tooth brushing togetherness doesn’t bother me. It’s all that talk about peeing in the shower.  First Olivia last week and Woody this week!

[ECM1231]

45 minutes ago, CSunshine76 said:

I agree with this, I’d like to know what she told the “experts”.  If she makes 2 or 2.5 times more than him, that’s A LOT in my opinion.  I’m single, and I’d be okay making more than my husband, but I’d be concerned if it was that much more (if we were close in age, same experience in respective fields, etc). I’d wonder if he had the same ambition and drive that I do.

But didn't Olivia say that she'd told the experts she wasn't concerned with what her spouse earns? Nurse practitioners make excellent salaries so no surprise there. Brett is in IT but I seem to remember he has some sort of government job, hence the 8-4 hours and no weekends. Generally not huge wages but excellent benefits. I didn't get the impression Brett was cheap but rather prioritized spending his money differently. For me eating out several times weekly would soon get old. Vacations are nice but I'd rather save towards a home purchase, retirement nest egg, kids' college funds, etc. Compromise is hard when spending habits are so very different.

[Hangin Out]

4 minutes ago, Koalagirl said:

All of that couple tooth brushing togetherness doesn’t bother me. It’s all that talk about peeing in the shower.  First Olivia last week and Woody this week!

A lot of new lows this season.   

[ECM1231]

39 minutes ago, Empress1 said:

People who struggle with their mental health deserve love too.

Of course they do, as does anyone with a physical disability like being blind, deaf, confined to a wheelchair having a chronic illness like Crohn's or lupus, etc. However, and I feel like a bitch for saying this, not every person is up to dealing with these things for a lifetime. Life is tough enough. If you knew you couldn't handle dealing with someone's mental illness or even physical issues, you would not continue dating him/her. You wouldn't  even approach a blind man with the intention to date him, if it would bother you. I don't think it's fair to Karen. Is the questionnaire that extensive that it asks all these questions? That's why I was so upset about Katie's diabetes last season. Again, I'm really not a bitch and am a compassionate person, but idk if I'd be up to dealing with these issues.

Of course irl when dating and falling in love and marrying, whatever happens afterwards you stick by your spouse. In sickness and health.

 

Okay, I hadn't read all the responses and I see that Yeah No articulated what I was trying to say much better.

Edited August 20, 2020 by ECM1231

[Yeah No]

1 hour ago, Myrtle Urkele said:

I think it's a good call to maybe wait until the honeymoon was over too, but it can be a lot to take in. That being said, I don't think Karen is a good judge of character or good communicator. Her equating masculinity with mental health shows immaturity on her part

Karen thinks she's more mature than Miles but because she generally thinks she's all that it comes off poorly.  But truthfully I think Miles is showing his immaturity too.  I think there is something off about him telling her he's had 10 monogamous relationships.  Like does he think that the number being 10 makes him look better?  I can't believe that Karen and Amani both had the same opinion I voiced on this in last week's thread.  Like even when you do the math that's a LOT of relationships for someone his age!  How could that have been possible?  And how many of them were really all that serious?  Amani said she thought he was throwing people in there that he had only dated a few times.  Amani is a wise woman.  And all of this makes me question just how great a "catch" Miles really is.  Karen isn't opening up to him because she doesn't see him as on her level and she senses something "off" about comments like that.  And truthfully I don't know if I blame her completely.

4 minutes ago, ECM1231 said:

Okay, I hadn't read all the responses and I see that Yeah No articulated what I was trying to say much better.

LOL and here I was thinking that YOU articulated it much better!  😄

[LaLaLaLa]

Karen (tonight): I wanted an alpha male.

Karen (last week): You dated nine women? That could be a problem.

 

[Kiss my mutt]

It makes me wonder what Karen saw in his Instagram story. She said he was getting “emotional”. Not sure if he was showing emotion or did she think je was having a breakdown. 
Bennett doesn’t look like he would wipe his ass completely. 

[LaLaLaLa]

3 hours ago, ChiCricket said:

It grosses me out SO much to see people brushing their teeth! (just me?)😜

I prefer to know that people are brushing and flossing teeth rather than not brushing and flossing teeth. ;)

[humbleopinion]

Like Amani and Woody are sussing Brett out for Olivia....

That Look Bennett gives Amelia as she sings her song is lovely. 
Their kids would be the ones you have to tell to go home....don’t your parents miss you?

ChristinA...you are failing at working on your patience.  Any less patience you would be slapping Henry for being so wishy washy.
She had a Brandon moment with the producer....

She’s right to look out for Olivia.

Karen just built her wall another 6 feet higher. Miles’ honesty may be too soon for Karen.

Brett is a third date sex guy....charming....

Olivia Talks to her mother every day and sees Friends Heather and Jo everyday. Too needy. Red Flag.

She a bossy pants and a fussbudget...Red Flag.
Do not think Brett will be comfy dropping $100 for a weekday dinner for 2. Red Flag
Before Covid, you could  eat  out at a new place In NOLA every day for Years.

No fun ordering if your dining companion is pinching pennies.

Olivia is used to spending on herself. Her money her rules.

Damn, look at his Ratty suitcase. He didn’t even invest in a 39.99 wheelie carryon at TJ Max. He has very different spending habits.

Brett heard the 7 and got butt hurt since he has been on his best behavior...listening, eye contact, good manners.

While he was opposed to rating Their marriage because it dehumanizing the switch flipped when Olivia said 7.
7 for all the effort he has put in to be an evolved human...WTF Olivia....He’s not happy.

Amelia falling asleep So easily In the fort is sweet.

Edited August 20, 2020 by humbleopinion

[humbleopinion]

Brett having a Brandon and Dallas Amber moment.

Brett is seeing the shooting schedule as the only obligation to Olivia and he’s counting the days until he is free.

Brett started planning cutting the grass with his cat as soon as you rated him a 7, a D for all his efforts To be an ideal huzzy.
Olivia is tiresome.

I want that bagel smoked salmon sandwich with fresh fruit.....now.

[qtpye]

4 hours ago, Empress1 said:

I do not like Karen’s insinuation that Miles having depression makes him less masculine. I commend Miles for talking about it on camera. He’s right that there’s a stigma in the Black community, especially among Black men, against dealing with mental health and emotion and maybe him being open will help someone else who needs it.

 

4 hours ago, Myrtle Urkele said:

I feel like Karen's might be traditionalist and thinks that masculinity is being tough/not showing emotion. Miles is a gem for being so open about his mental health. I wish Karen could appreciate is but (at least) she wasn't openly judgmental.

 

3 hours ago, Elizzikra said:

Maybe the episode was sponsored by the American Dental Association?

i really want Karen to redefine “masculine” and wake up to what a great catch Miles is. Girl you don’t want the kind of “masculine” that knocks up his side chick while he’s dating you...

 

 

 

3 hours ago, ShowFan said:

“It’s a massive turn on that you’re loaded!” Omg I’m dying! I will say that I loved Brett’s jokes and sense of humor in this episode so far (only watched through his convo with Olivia on how he fits into her life ..the rest DVR for tomorrow). I see him in a different light here (still an asshole but a funny one) and I do see her as more rigid. 
 

Henry is also showing his fun side! Quite the character and becoming very likable. Christina is getting on the bad side of the producers. 
 

Karen rocking an awesome bod! Still super low energy for me and boring. 
 

Amani is truly a queen! I loved how she stabbed Brett with “don’t wink at me, it’s not cute!” She is the kind of woman that every man should aspire to have by his side. Beautiful, strong, honest and loyal  

Bennett and Amelia are super adorable and have the deepest most intelligent conversations on getting to know each other. Her guitar song was lovely!

 

 

 

3 hours ago, Soup333 said:

Brett and Christina both act like they’re above this entire experiment. Though they signed up for it. 

 

3 hours ago, Suzy Rhapsody said:

Brett hasn’t been into her from moment one, plain and simple.  He’s already laying the groundwork for not continuing the marriage and they haven’t even returned home yet.  The road ahead will be a long one for her.  Brett will damn sure make her pay for that seven rating.  You can see in his eyes that he has a sadistic, cruel streak.  Well, maybe more than a streak.  A gooey smear.

 

2 hours ago, Jaclyn88 said:

Karen and people like her is the reason men are scared to share their feelings and vent when they feel the need to . She was a bitch during that scene and I’m very turned off by her . Maybe he could have waited until they went home from their honeymoon to share it with her , but her response to the camera was very off putting . Having depression is not someone’s fault , but she’s insinuating that it is . 

 

2 hours ago, Jaclyn88 said:

I have a friend who defines Masculinity the same way Karen does .. and let’s just say she’s very single , because The “ masculine “ type that she likes always likes lots of different women at once . The miles of the world are so much better! 

 

1 hour ago, ECM1231 said:

What surprised me even more was how full her single life seemed to be. She works long hours, and not even a traditional 9-5 and yet she's still up for going out with friends a lot of weeknights. She doesn't cook and enjoys dining out. Brett works 8-4 and no weekends. He doesn't have a lot of extra money for dining out. Plus he's very health conscious and prefers to cook his own dinner. She wants a partner to do fun things with but yet Brett was right to question whether Olivia will make enough time for him.

 

54 minutes ago, ECM1231 said:

But didn't Olivia say that she'd told the experts she wasn't concerned with what her spouse earns? Nurse practitioners make excellent salaries so no surprise there. Brett is in IT but I seem to remember he has some sort of government job, hence the 8-4 hours and no weekends. Generally not huge wages but excellent benefits. I didn't get the impression Brett was cheap but rather prioritized spending his money differently. For me eating out several times weekly would soon get old. Vacations are nice but I'd rather save towards a home purchase, retirement nest egg, kids' college funds, etc. Compromise is hard when spending habits are so very different.

I really did not expect that Olivia would be the outgoing adventurous one and Brett is the homebody. I think the problem is not how much more she earns but their relationship with money. Brett wants to have a less stressful demanding job, save money, and stay home and cook healthy meals.

Olivia has a much more demanding job and hours. She wants to get the most out of her precious little free time, including spending time with friends/family and enjoying high quality food and drink.

My brother is in IT and makes almost a quarter million dollars a year. He also is working all the time and under a lot of pressure. He thrives on it but it really is not a lifestyle for everyone.

I applaud Miles for getting the needed therapy for his depression. So many times black people are just told to swallow their pain or just pray it away at church.

Karen is not into Miles...period. This is a shame because he seem like a great guy. She has probably a bit of a toxic view on what is "masculine" and it will probably lead her to a lot of heartbreak.

Armani/Woody and Amelia/Bennett are just adorable.

Now for the shallow part:

Their must be good braiders in New Orleans because both Armani and Karen look fantastic. Karen with her swimsuit, hair wrap, and braids looked very chic on the beach. I just wish she was not so low energy...she comes off as a bit of a stick in the mud.

Olivia looked very nice in the bright green color she work in one of her talking heads. It set off her skin tone beautifully.

Christina clothes look like they are expensive but they often do not look quite right on her. She also holds her head in a way that is unflattering on camera, but probably not an issue in real life. Does anyone know why they call her the Princess Bride?

I actually love this NOLA crew and am really enjoying the positive energy this season...even the villains are not too terrible. They could hold all the seasons in New Orleans as far as I am concerned.

The resort was really fabulous and makes me want to stay there (darn you Corona!).

 

Edited August 20, 2020 by qtpye

[humbleopinion]

Who’s going to do the butling?

[Kira53]

I'm not finished watching, but I really enjoyed Henry on the paddleboard. He was pretty funny and self-deprecating.  Maybe that remark about almost becoming a widow was a joke too.  Could be he has a funny sense of humor.  Henry's jumping on the trampoline and saying this was the most dangerous thing he had ever done, maybe that was a joke too.  Anyway he is better 5-6 days in.  Christina, hang on in there, maybe a non-aggressive man is just what you need. She seemed to indicate that sometimes she went impulsively into stuff maybe sexual relationships with aggressive men so we'll see.  Anyway his eye contact seems better; maybe it's just the use of the camera.

Still love Amelia and BENNETT they just seem to get each other. Making a fort that's really cool. They're at this fabulous resort that has all kinds of great things but they can make their own fun.  Still have very high hopes for them they seem so well matched.

Amazing how Woody and Amani seem so simpatico. I'm pulling for them. Anyway I've been enjoying these episodes I don't need excitement between them I actually enjoy seeing people try to get along and try to get to know each other both as couples and as individuals.

Edited August 20, 2020 by Kira53
I don't remember to proofread.

[BunnyAndIvy]

I loved Bennett talking about how he’s not really sure if he knows how to flirt... he thinks flirting can be joking around. I totally cracked up at his comment, something along the lines of, “I don’t know, maybe I’ve been flirting with my guy friends too!” 😂 I adore him!

 

 

[For Cereals]

Bennett and Amelia are cute.  I could comment on the exchange of kisses for fun activities...his mom was a little intense, but Bennett seems well-adjusted.  I’m still not rescinding my comment about him starting a cult, but so far he seems to use his power for good.  I mean, a fort?  Cute.

Everyone is so concerned about Olivia, but I think Nostrils made good points this episode.  Olivia does seem to have a lot of expectations, but I think she is definitely more assertive than the skater (can’t remember her name) last season.

I question ChristinA’s motives for warning Olivia.  Is she really concerned, or is she just stirring up trouble?  Although with Henry, I might be bored enough to cause some chaos too.

I want to go to this resort.  It looks like a cruise on land!  Perfect for quarantine weight gain and stretchy pants.

[DrewPaul2010]

Just some quick thoughts before I turn in.

Unless things go south in a hurry Amani and Woody seem a match made in heaven.

I saw some signs of like in Henry this week. He seems like a very temperate man not given to highs or lows. I suspect he will be a great father.

I couldn't believe how despicable Christina was I think she stuck her nose where it didn't belong. I wonder if Henry shared something with her?

 

[bichonblitz]

I love Amelia and Bennett, dirty feet and all. Her sweet song, his thoughts on what he wants out of a marriage. Just love em'! 

Olivia is becoming quite the pain in the ass. Asking Brett what he wants to do with her after the honeymoon. Like it's entirely up to him to make her happy. His answers were douchey but I think he was already pissed at her and was playing in to her dumb questions. 

ChristinA has resting bitch face. 

Amani and Karen are gorgeous. They looked positively stunning on Unfiltered. And there Jamie sat with her bad extensions looking like road kill. 

[Racj82]

5 hours ago, ChiCricket said:

I really want long curly hair glasses guy to scrub the bottom of his feet before he gets into bed. (I don't remember names too well.)

Dirty feet and shoes on in the bed fucking repulse me. I don't care about the brushing teeth thing but you should be in the bed with visible dirt on you.

[Racj82]

3 hours ago, Jaclyn88 said:

Can Miles and Olivia be together ? God , Brett and Karen are buzz kills . 

We probably could have got it if this the show didn't dodge interracial couplings at almost every turn.

[gingerandcloves]

Amelia and Bennett are the best. I really enjoy watching them, and that is such a rarity for this show. I love that they both have a lot of fun and are goofy together but still talk about serious issues.

Woody and Amani are adorable as well. Love how well-matched they seem so far. That dune buggy ride looked fun and kind of crazy. They're so cute and lovey-dovey.

Olivia and Brett - I cannot see them lasting long-term. They are just too fundamentally different. They remind me of Tom and Lily. And I just do not see Olivia as being the type to settle down, have kids and be a parent. I don't know how the heck she will have time for a husband when she seems to spend all her time either working or with her friends/mom. Brett was being an asshole though about rating the marriage. They both seem like they can be stubborn.

I feel for both Karen and Miles. As someone who does have life long mental issues, I know how important it is to be honest with your partner and to have someone who is supportive but can kick your butt when you need it. Good for Miles for being open about it and getting treatment. It's going to be difficult for Karen who already thought Miles was "too emotional" to accept that he might not always be the rock she wants. Hopefully she will allow herself some time to get to know him better and figure out if they can make this work. I still think they have a chance.

Oh, man, Henry and Christina. Christina is looking for anything from Henry, and he's not giving it to her. Is he not attracted to her, or is he just really that slow to make a move? I'd probably be a bit frustrated too if I were her. Like he doesn't even give her any compliments, and he couldn't come up with a fruit to describe her. She can be kind of bossy and impatient but he acts like a barely animated corpse.

[SabineElisabeth]

8 hours ago, Mercolleen said:

"You'll always be perfect just as long as we never meet again."

That is actually a great line that Amelia wrote.

 

8 hours ago, ShowFan said:

Her guitar song was lovely!

When Amelia asked Bennett if he'd like to hear her song, I immediately braced myself for what I was sure would be a completely cringe worthy performance. (Matt, N. Carolina season, "singing" for new bride Amber, anyone?)  Instead.... I too thought she did a lovely job!  In fact, for just a second, I thought I was listening to a new Norah Jones track. 🎶❤

[Yeah No]

6 hours ago, For Cereals said:

I question ChristinA’s motives for warning Olivia.  Is she really concerned, or is she just stirring up trouble?  Although with Henry, I might be bored enough to cause some chaos too.

I definitely think the producers put her up to bringing that up, precisely because they want to stir up trouble. Given what we saw in this episode I am starting to think that all the constant, incessant questions and "bomb drops" in the past few seasons (or more) have been fed to them by production.  Even before this I was wondering how this show was turning into nothing but scenes of these people sitting around asking each other stupid questions and revealing deep dark secrets designed to create "drama".  I don't even believe anymore that any of them would bring up most of these things when and how they do if not for being put up to them by the show.

Edited August 20, 2020 by Yeah No

[TheMediumBopper]

Disclaimer: I haven't seen all of the episode yet, but I just want to say that I like Miles even better for mentioning his depression. I also want to say that we depressives can still be great partners. I'm an awesome girlfriend! Even my ex-husband would say I am awesome. Just ask him. 😉

Miles and Woody seem to be in touch with their inner machinations, which is something that I always like to see in a man. I remember a couple episodes back, Woody revealed that he'd received counseling for anger management, and Amani was quick to say, "Everyone should get counseling," which I thought was super savvy of her. (Frankly, I'd be far more worried about being with someone who has anger management issues than with a depressive... but either issue can be managed, as can the thoughts and feelings that accompany both issues.)

Poor Miles. I feel like he went on this show in earnest and his friend Woody tagged along for the brotherly support and for the novelty of being on TV... and Woody's the one that ends up with the best bride.

[Yeah No]

I just want to say for the record that I'm not saying that chronic depressives can't make good relationship partners, they can. But being married to one at first sight that you don't even know is going to be able to function or cope with a relationship let alone marriage is fraught with potential peril.  Miles might turn out to be a great guy with his condition under control but we don't know that yet and neither does the show, really.  At this point it is a red flag, like the episode title suggests, but it isn't necessarily a relationship killer.  It would scare me, though, if on day two or 3 or whatever of knowing someone I just married I suddenly found out about it.  And with good reason.

Edited August 20, 2020 by Yeah No

[Soup333]

2 hours ago, gingerandcloves said:

I feel for both Karen and Miles. As someone who does have life long mental issues, I know how important it is to be honest with your partner and to have someone who is supportive but can kick your butt when you need it. Good for Miles for being open about it and getting treatment. It's going to be difficult for Karen who already thought Miles was "too emotional" to accept that he might not always be the rock she wants. Hopefully she will allow herself some time to get to know him better and figure out if they can make this work. I still think they have a chance.

I've been quiet about my feelings on Karen. I was thinking maybe she's just a more reserved person with a big appetite but I am agreeing with some of you that she may have some outdated/toxic views on what makes a man and maybe relationships in general. I wonder if she questioned the masculinity of the guy she was with that had a baby on the side. Probably not, because horndogging is "manly." But talking about your emotions/being emotional is somehow not.

I'm worried about Miles (and everyone else) when the stay at home orders kick in. I won't make this personal (and we're all living through it anyway). This pandemic has been life altering. Worries about your family, your finances, etc., can wreak havoc on a relationship in the most mundane times.  I could see any one of them becoming depressed when the shit really hits the fan. Miles might need Karen to be his rock just as much as she needs him to be hers.

[Booger666]

Karen is young and I have no idea what, if any, her experience and knowledge is of mental health issues so I’ll cut her some slack and hope she becomes supportive of Miles.  This is the one time a call with one of the experts could have been helpful, and they were no where to be found.  Karen should have more resources available to her than Dr. Google to find answers to any questions she may have.

[Yeah No]

33 minutes ago, Soup333 said:

I've been quiet about my feelings on Karen. I was thinking maybe she's just a more reserved person with a big appetite but I am agreeing with some of you that she may have some outdated/toxic views on what makes a man and maybe relationships in general. I wonder if she questioned the masculinity of the guy she was with that had a baby on the side. Probably not, because horndogging is "manly." But talking about your emotions/being emotional is somehow not.

I may be remembering wrong, but wasn't she the one being asked by Miles' family how she felt about the man being "in charge" and making the decisions in the relationship and she said she wanted that?  I thought that was strange, but it was something HIS family seemed to want from HER.

[Hangin Out]

8 hours ago, ECM1231 said:

Of course they do, as does anyone with a physical disability like being blind, deaf, confined to a wheelchair having a chronic illness like Crohn's or lupus, etc. However, and I feel like a bitch for saying this, not every person is up to dealing with these things for a lifetime. Life is tough enough. If you knew you couldn't handle dealing with someone's mental illness or even physical issues, you would not continue dating him/her. You wouldn't  even approach a blind man with the intention to date him, if it would bother you. I don't think it's fair to Karen. Is the questionnaire that extensive that it asks all these questions? That's why I was so upset about Katie's diabetes last season. Again, I'm really not a bitch and am a compassionate person, but idk if I'd be up to dealing with these issues.

Of course irl when dating and falling in love and marrying, whatever happens afterwards you stick by your spouse. In sickness and health.

 

Okay, I hadn't read all the responses and I see that Yeah No articulated what I was trying to say much better.

Here is an example exactly of what you are saying.  A relative was engaged.  But, she was smitten with another fellow.  She broke her engagement and married the other fellow knowing he had this affliction.  Progressively, he got worse, and out of three kids they had, one of them inherited the affliliction.  She too care of the husband his whole life, never went anywhere and he died.  Now she is taking care of the child the same way.  She didn’t put either in a facility, but took care of them herself.  She had no life whatsoever.  Just telling a true story.  There’s no right or wrong here.  It was her choice.  She’s older now, and is struggling herself.  True story and sad.  You don’t think she’s thinking of what could have been?   P.s.  The affiliction was very disabilitating, not anywhere like Henry’s, where you can live a normal life.

 

 

 

Edited August 20, 2020 by Silver Bells

[Boo Boo]

Olivia is an asshole about money.  Talking about enjoying nice things as if she's Bill Gates. I mean she makes a nice living bit she ain't rich.  Yes, you want a responsible guy but he has a house, a job, seems to live nicely.  

in general, she seems to think quite highly of herself.  

 

 

Edited August 20, 2020 by Boo Boo

[Hangin Out]

2 hours ago, Yeah No said:

I just want to say for the record that I'm not saying that chronic depressives can't make good relationship partners, they can. But being married to one at first sight that you don't even know is going to be able to function or cope with a relationship let alone marriage is fraught with potential peril.  Miles might turn out to be a great guy with his condition under control but we don't know that yet and neither does the show, really.  At this point it is a red flag, like the episode title suggests, but it isn't necessarily a relationship killer.  It would scare me, though, if on day two or 3 or whatever of knowing someone I just married I suddenly found out about it.  And with good reason.

Marriage is hard enough without all these other things coming up right off the bat.  Trust me.  I’m married Avery very long time.  Stuck thru thick n thin.  Nowadays, divorce is very common.  People don’t want to forgive, forget, or do the work required.  It ain’t easy.  Not preaching, just telling it like it is.

[Cammi]

I don't understand why Brett is getting hate and not Karen? So far she has shown herself to be: judgey, stand offish, not very compassionate nor is she open to trying something different, and I think she just wants a fuck boi. Karen made her mind up about Miles when she stalked him. Just like Brett did with Olivia when he saw her walk down the isle. Thank goodness they aren't like that guy last season with Mindy, and are giving us at least SOMETHING to work with as far as plot (see Olivia's comment about "our life will continue when the cameras are gone." No, no they won't dear...) but you can tell Karen and Brett are only showing kindness through gritted teeth. 

Everyone saying Christina should be paired with Brett, but I think Karen should have been his match! She is HORRIBLE. People only giving her a pass cuz she's pretty? I don't get it? She wants a stereotypical thug/Neanderthal. Throw her over his shoulder and grunt. A mouth breather is what she wants. A guy that will have a side chick, cheat, and father a kid with another. WHY sign up for this experiment if she knows exactly what she wants? I could dip my toe on Tinder and find Karen's "type". They're EVERYWHERE! Don't understand why everyone is going easy on her. She's the real villian imo

[Stinamaia]

12 hours ago, CSunshine76 said:

As a fellow Christina who is called “ChristinE” constantly by coworkers and strangers, I felt Christina when she immediately snapped “ChristinA” at the producer.  I do the exact same thing. It’s two different names, and it gets so old.  So on that, I feel ya girl.  On everything else, not so much. 

Me too!  Why?  I would rather be called Chris.  ChristinE grates on me especially when people know what my name is as presumably the production team knows Christina’s name.  So I sympathize with her there.  And with YOU too. 🙂

[humbleopinion]

Brett took the 7 very personally. He was visibly butt hurt.

He has been working against his fu*kboi instincts (His Irish goodbye the only slip up) ever since the cameras have been pointed at him and she gives him a D for his Herculean efforts.
Brett felt dehumanized by that 7. He is done being the model husband.

Olivia asking what he wants to do when he gets home because the producer prompted her....something at that moment made him snap....He gave an honest answer...
Brett wanted his cat and to mow the grass.

Olivia wanted to hear that they were going to get dressed up, wine and dine and hit the town. Not house chores.

She expected Brett would be taking his cues from how tired she was from work and after she talked to her Mom and Heather and Jo she would be ready to interact with him.
Brett is righteous to assume that she will put aside her lonely single girl routine and make him a priority.
Honeymoon over.....marriage over.

She’s emasculated Brett by the 7, earning 2.5 times his salary and telling him that he is number 5 in her priority list.

He’s really number 6 after the 2 cats.

Free Brett!

Edited August 20, 2020 by humbleopinion

[Boo Boo]

I feel like Olivia is taking out all of her dating frustration on Brett. 

Never thought I would say this but I am on #TeamBrett.

 

[essexjan]

12 hours ago, Silver Bells said:

Brett & Olivia .. She has a lot to say.  A lot of rules and restrictions.  I’d be very surprised if they stay together.  

She definitely has the hall marks of becoming an Olympic-class nag, and she seems to have rigid routines in relation to seeing friends and family. But, on the other hand, I understand that she wants someone to do things with - go to movies, restaurants, on trips, etc. Brett is definitely not that person. He won't want to (or be able to) pick up the tab for expensive dinners, and she'll start to resent him if she ends up paying more than him for their social life, notwithstanding the discrepancy in their salaries.

12 hours ago, Elizzikra said:

Girl you don’t want the kind of “masculine” that knocks up his side chick while he’s dating you...

If he knocks someone else up while you think you're dating him, you're the side chick.

So Miles has a serotonin deficiency that he needs to top up with a SSRI every day. For me that wouldn't be a deal-breaker - unless he went off his meds. I hope Karen is able to see what a great guy Miles is and leave her prejudices about mental illness at the door.

I'm still loving Amelia and Bennett. They really seem sympatico, and they genuinely like one another. I have high hopes for them.

I also love Woody and Amani. I really liked it when Woody said (and I paraphrase) that he feels he can completely be himself with Amani and so doesn't need to be 'performing' or 'on' the whole time. We only got one little shrug dance this episode.

I am SO happy that Henry was much better at paddleboarding than ChristinA, and that he had so much fun doing it. I think what we're seeing of her attitude is only the tip of the iceberg, as I've never seen the producers show a bitch-faced snip at the producers at the wedding ceremony (which is what we got from ChristinA). I bet she's been vile to them all and, although there's probably much more of her nastiness, they're holding back (for now). But to some extent I understand her frustration. I've been on dates where trying to make conversation has been painful, and that's when I could say goodbye after an hour, delete their number and forget about them forever. She's married this guy.

 

[Boo Boo]

So it appears the national average salary for NP in neurolgy like Olivia is $105k - $112K.  Olivia makes a nice living, but if she's spending it on travel, fine wines like she makes it sound, she's going to start living outside her means.  Brett can't make that terrible a salary in the IT world.  He seems to live within his means.  I'll bet Brett has a better bank account.  

[humbleopinion]

1 minute ago, Boo Boo said:

I feel like Olivia is taking out all of her dating frustration on Brett. 

 

Brett is never going to want to eat fancy, drink fancy, dress fancy enough for Olivia.

Brett likes his routine...Get up early to get in a workout, go to his secure government job, get off at 4pm , hit the gym, go home, make dinner, do chores, get another Light workout, play with Tyrion, internet time then bed.
He is a homebody who cooks for himself.

His entertainment is internet and app dating and bedding willing women as a way to get over his failed engagement.

No judgement on Brett.