Where Are They Now?

[Elizzikra]

31 minutes ago, OnTime said:

 

According to his LinkedIn page, https://www.linkedin.com/in/matthewgwynne, he is an insurance agent. 

"As a licensed Agent of New York Life Insurance Company, I can help you meet a number of insurance and financial needs, including, but not limited to college funding, retirement, long-term investments, and lifetime income strategies"

Somehow, I can't image him helping with insurance and financial needs....

I can’t imaging Matt being able to spell “insurance.”

[OnTime]

34 minutes ago, After7Only said:

 I'm also wondering if the reason Amber hasn't taken other routes to get the divorce is because she's trying to stick by the process outlined in the original contract.  Matt is a bum.   

Not including Season 10, there are 21 couples divorced and would have likely had the same process in the original contract. It can't be that hard.

I just doubt there really was a notary with the divorce papers in the back and wonder if the Amber/Matt walk offs were producer scripted. But I'm also surprised Matt even showed up!

[Elizzikra]

I can't believe Danielle had HELLP Syndrome - that's a big deal! So glad she is ok!

[cinsays]

17 hours ago, Ohwell said:

Well at least Matt admitted that he had no business being on the show.  I thought Kevin was an ass for trying to goad him into signing the divorce papers on national tv because nobody in their right mind would do that, but Matt really should get a lawyer and just sign the damn papers and stop being spiteful.  

I think he just wanted to help her get it done and figured if they left without the papers being signed he never would

[StatisticalOutlier]

2 hours ago, becauseIsaidso said:

It could be the serving part that's difficult. My ex managed to never be around when the serving was attempted, my lawyer finally sent a sheriff to his workplace to accomplish it. In my case (in Illinois in the late 70's) mailing would not be service since there would have been no proof he actually took receipt of the envelope. If Matt doesn't have a physical address of his own, it may be very difficult to even find out where to serve them. I wish Amber would have said if the papers were mailed to an actual street address, or if he only gave her a PO Box number. He really is the lowest piece of crap.

Service is covered in the North Carolina Courts website I linked to above:

Quote

After filing your case, you must ensure that your spouse is “served” with a copy of your summons and complaint. In general, this means that you must either pay a fee to have the sheriff personally serve your spouse with the documents, or send the documents to your spouse via certified mail, FedEx or UPS. If you mail the documents, you must file proof that your spouse received them with the court. In some circumstances where you are unable to locate the other person, you may be able to serve him or her by newspaper publication, but specific requirements apply. Delivering the documents to your spouse yourself is not legal service.

He can be served by mail.  He can be served in person  He can be served by leaving it at his residence with a person of suitable age and discretion.  If she can't find out where he is, service by publication is acceptable. 

Moreover, Mecklenburg County has a "SelfServe Center," that provides forms and very detailed instructions for doing your own divorce without a lawyer.  Plus, there's not even a hearing--if all the documents are in the file and properly completed, the judge grants the divorce. 

So...he doesn't have to sign anything.  There are multiple ways to serve him.  All the divorce requires is proper completion of some papers, with no hearing required.

I think we're being played.  Which is a shame, because Matt is reprehensible enough as it is--no need to gild that lily. 

Edited April 30, 2020 by StatisticalOutlier

[DrewPaul2010]

13 hours ago, Blissfool said:

Wooooow!!! Jephte and Shawniece....not good. Not good at all.

 

And i can't bear the thought that Anthony had to sleep in a different room after filming. Poor guy. He's a good catch. I'm glad they worked it out.

Also, I can't believe that Bobby spends more money that Danielle, she of the maxed-out credit cards.

Marriage and children does strange things to people...

[sasha206]

Not to keep talking weight but when they showed Lillian, I thought for sure her announcement was going to be she's 9 months pregnant.  But nope.

[Koalagirl]

Did anyone really care about what David is up to these days?

....crickets....

I thought not!

[DrewPaul2010]

There is good reason Molly wasn't a fan favorite. First instead of bringing it up to Jon (her new husband) she brings up the fact he acts like a little boy to a stranger and scolds him. I don't think he needed to be corrected like a little boy. After that she continued this ridiculous charade of claiming their relationship is 98% great. 98% should be enough to get laid. To the best of our knowledge he never even saw her naked. She made a huge deal of being naked in front of her husband as if that's unnatural. The fans of this show are never going to appreciate someone who agrees to do this, gets married and goes on a honeymoon with a stranger and makes virtually no effort and is immediately unhappy with who was picked for them. They are at least supposed to try and make it work. Maybe Zack is still around and she can date him...

She was lying and was confronted with lying by Dr Jessica. Molly was the root of the problem.

I will say she looks better now, her complexion was poor during filming...

[lh25]

4 hours ago, Booger666 said:

I’m shocked that Jaime and Elizabeth are together.  I remember them having some very nasty fights.  It’s amazing they’ve gotten past that and are happy now.

I'm not sure I believe that they have gotten past those fights.  I was shocked how fast they both went down low and dirty in their fights.

[qtpye]

5 hours ago, sasha206 said:

Zero chance of that.  Why would anyone put their spouse on their health insurance if they are in an "experiment" and he couldn't even stay home during what, the first three weeks?  She seems like an idiot, but not that much of an idiot.  Not to mention, if that's the reason, she would've thrown that out as the reason just to make him look even worse.  "He's just using me for my health insurance."

Amber had a bad history with men. Her family claimed that she would literally hand over her paycheck to her last boyfriend, who treated her badly.

I would not be surprised if some small part of her is hoping that Matt won’t sign the papers because he still wants to be with her. As some of you have pointed out, she can proceed with the divorce if she really wanted it.

Matt is not signing because he might need a place to stay in the future and he knows he can easily manipulate her.

[DrewPaul2010]

58 minutes ago, Elizzikra said:

I can't believe Danielle had HELLP Syndrome - that's a big deal! So glad she is ok!

That's why people make vows like richer, poorer sickness and in health because you really never know whats going to happen. My first daughter was born with tetrolgy of fellot a terrible heart birth defect which subsequently required open heart surgery. While in the hospital with other couples there were pieces of shattered marriages everywhere as either the husband, or the wife or in some cases both decided to leave the scene.

Glad they are both okay and supporting one another.

Happy for all the couples and yes marriage is more difficult on the inside than on the outside.

 

3 minutes ago, lh25 said:

I'm not sure I believe that they have gotten past those fights.  I was shocked how fast they both went down low and dirty in their fights.

I thought it was a classic when Jamie told his wife (in a loud voice in front of others) to shut up. Usually husbands can't get away with that until they have been married for 10 years two kids and house and a fat mortgage. Even then no sex for at least a month : )

[Ohwell]

1 hour ago, cinsays said:

I think he just wanted to help her get it done and figured if they left without the papers being signed he never would

Perhaps, but Kevin still should have realized that no one would want to sign papers (on national television, to boot) without contacting a lawyer.  Frankly, I think he was hoping for one of those television "moments" and he thought Matt was dumb enough to go along with it. 

Matt acted like an ass on the show but he showed last night that he ain't that dumb.

[Ohwell]

1 hour ago, StatisticalOutlier said:

I think we're being played.  Which is a shame, because Matt is reprehensible enough as it is--no need to gild that lily. 

Exactly.

[sasha206]

28 minutes ago, DrewPaul2010 said:

There is good reason Molly wasn't a fan favorite. First instead of bringing it up to Jon (her new husband) she brings up the fact he acts like a little boy to a stranger and scolds him. I don't think he needed to be corrected like a little boy. After that she continued this ridiculous charade of claiming their relationship is 98% great. 98% should be enough to get laid. To the best of our knowledge he never even saw her naked. She made a huge deal of being naked in front of her husband as if that's unnatural. The fans of this show are never going to appreciate someone who agrees to do this, gets married and goes on a honeymoon with a stranger and makes virtually no effort and is immediately unhappy with who was picked for them. They are at least supposed to try and make it work. Maybe Zack is still around and she can date him...

She was lying and was confronted with lying by Dr Jessica. Molly was the root of the problem.

I will say she looks better now, her complexion was poor during filming...

Like I said, I didn't like Molly.  But I also don't thinking signing up for MAFs means you have to fuck a complete stranger, walk around nude, etc.   I didn't hate Zach for not being attracted to Mindy.  Zach was disliked for word salads and then for trying to gaslight her with. I don't think anyone hated him for not having intimacy with Mindy.

Yes, she withheld information from the counselor...the counselor that ended up getting engaged to her husband.  But I guarantee you, if what we saw of Jon slut shaming her and whining that she wouldn't have sex with him was on camera, she probably could have her own very damning video.

Jon was an egomaniac.  He couldn't understand why she wasn't attracted to him. And then he whined about it.   And slut shamed her.  Who would want to fuck that guy?  Not me.

 

 

 

 

[Soup333]

50 minutes ago, qtpye said:

Amber had a bad history with men. Her family claimed that she would literally hand over her paycheck to her last boyfriend, who treated her badly.

I would not be surprised if some small part of her is hoping that Matt won’t sign the papers because he still wants to be with her. As some of you have pointed out, she can proceed with the divorce if she really wanted it.

[Soup333]

1 minute ago, Soup333 said:

54 minutes ago, qtpye said:

Amber had a bad history with men. Her family claimed that she would literally hand over her paycheck to her last boyfriend, who treated her badly.

I would not be surprised if some small part of her is hoping that Matt won’t sign the papers because he still wants to be with her. As some of you have pointed out, she can proceed with the divorce if she really wanted it.

For some reason I couldn’t type under the quote. Anyway, yes. Amber is holding out hope that Matt has SOME sort of emotional connection with her. She claimed they hate each other - Matt is clearly confused. She says they see each other at basketball games and she flicked him off last time - he says he hasn’t seen her.

Amber, even after all this time and all Matt’s antics still doesn’t get it. He doesn’t have even a smidgen of fucks to give about her. Definitely not enough emotion to hate her. She’s noticed him around town because he’s extremely tall. He hasn’t seen her, didn’t see her flicking him off like a petulant teenager and does NOT care about her moving on with her life. 

Whoever is behind divorcegate should be ashamed and if it is Amber making it more difficult than it has to be to force Matt to take action she’ll be married to him for a long time. 

[ReadMeLattice]

19 hours ago, ShowFan said:

Jamie grosses me out with her constant breeding 

You know that women don't "breed" on their own, right? That's not how this works. 😉 

(And she's had 4 pregnancies because she had two miscarriages, one of which was very far along, around halfway through the pregnancy if I remember correctly...jeez.)

[princelina]

1 hour ago, DrewPaul2010 said:

Even then no sex for at least a month : )

Not even basic caucasian sex? 😄 

37 minutes ago, sasha206 said:

Like I said, I didn't like Molly.  But I also don't thinking signing up for MAFs means you have to fuck a complete stranger, walk around nude, etc.   I didn't hate Zach for not being attracted to Mindy.  Zach was disliked for word salads and then for trying to gaslight her with. I don't think anyone hated him for not having intimacy with Mindy.

Yes, she withheld information from the counselor...the counselor that ended up getting engaged to her husband.  But I guarantee you, if what we saw of Jon slut shaming her and whining that she wouldn't have sex with him was on camera, she probably could have her own very damning video.

Jon was an egomaniac.  He couldn't understand why she wasn't attracted to him. And then he whined about it.   And slut shamed her.  Who would want to fuck that guy?  Not me.

I didn't take Jon's point to be whining that she wouldn't have sex - I thought he was trying to get her to just admit it wasn't happening and stop acting like it might someday.  Kind of like Zach now that you mention it.

[ReadMeLattice]

I don't know if I buy the whole 'Dr. Jessica was into him/after him from the beginning' thing. I could see it being more- a little spark/crush that she might have had for him, which many people (even married ones) can have and it never does any harm. We're attracted to people every day and rarely act on it. Then over time, she sees him being treated badly by Molly. She's one of the ones who knows the most details about his marriage to Molly before the season airs, so he wants to keep confiding in her/chatting with her after the season is over, when he's hurt and the wounds are fresh and he can't divulge a lot of details to the other people in his life. The connection grows into something more, simple as that. 

It's not the most conventional way two people have ever met, but they've specified many times that the experts on the show are not actually the cast members' therapists/clinicians, so I don't know that it's all that bad. 

Edited April 30, 2020 by Lm2162

[configdotsys]

9 hours ago, antfitz said:

 What's the problem with baby things? Are they just supposed to ignore that they had a baby?

I'd FF past that too, just as I do the whole wedding dress shopping, lunch with friends with staged conversations and all the other filler fluff stuff that I have zero interest in. Has nothing to do with expecting people to ignore anything. 

[sasha206]

9 minutes ago, Lm2162 said:

I don't know if I buy the whole 'Dr. Jessica was into him/after him from the beginning' thing. I could see it being more- a little spark/crush that she might have had for him, which many people (even married ones) can have and it never does any harm. We're attracted to people every day and rarely act on it. Then over time, she sees him being treated badly by Molly. She's one of the ones who knows the most details about his marriage to Molly before the season airs, so he wants to keep confiding in her/chatting with her after the season is over, when he's hurt and the wounds are fresh and he can't divulge a lot of details to the other people in his life. The connection grows into something more, simple as that. 

It's not the most conventional way two people have ever met, but they've specified many times that the experts on the show are not actually the cast members' therapists/clinicians, so I don't know that it's all that bad. 

I feel like a counselor would've treated this situation much differently.  One that wasn't interested in the person she ended up with.  

I also would like to have seen what Jon was really like when the cameras weren't around.  How nasty he was to her b/c she didn't give him sex leads me to believe off camera he wouldn't come off that well either.  I wonder what he called her before he started filming?

 

[sasha206]

23 minutes ago, princelina said:

I didn't take Jon's point to be whining that she wouldn't have sex - I thought he was trying to get her to just admit it wasn't happening and stop acting like it might someday.  Kind of like Zach now that you mention it.

When a man starts bringing up your sexual past to shame you for not fucking him, it's actually worse than whining.

Her worst crime to him before that scene was wanting to have some romance that builds into something.  He was all horned up for her immediately and it was a turnoff (see ball gag).   I'm surprised people seem to like him.  I get that she was a cold fish with zero personality, but his over zealousness turned her way off.

 

 

 

[Adeejay]

The problem I had with Molly was that she lied to everyone about being happy in her marriage, when she clearly wasn’t. She would wait until the cameras weren’t around to tell Jon how she really felt. The surly wife he described and the amiable lady the experts saw were polar opposites. He had to taped her because no one believed him. In the meanwhile she was on record stating that she’d had threesomes with strangers. So unlike her cast member Jephte, it wasn’t the “stranger factor” but rather the “Jon factor”. 

[sasha206]

21 minutes ago, Adeejay said:

The problem I had with Molly was that she lied to everyone about being happy in her marriage, when she clearly wasn’t. She would wait until the cameras weren’t around to tell Jon how she really felt. The surly wife he described and the amiable lady the experts saw were polar opposites. He had to taped her because no one believed him. In the meanwhile she was on record stating that she’d had threesomes with strangers. So unlike her cast member Jephte, it wasn’t the “stranger factor” but rather the “Jon factor”. 

I feel like Molly was trying to talk herself into liking Jon.  On paper, it should have worked.  (We both like adventure!  He's well educated) but I think he made her uncomfortable from the get go.  He was so focused on how she looked and so wanting to be intimate with her immediately that I think it turned her off altogether.  

I also suspect he wasn't so charming off camera and could've had her own video that wouldn't be very flattering.

I really didn't like her at all, but I thought he seemed to get off as blameless. He was so focused on having sex with her, it turned her off. 

I'll try to stop flogging the dead horse!

 

Edited April 30, 2020 by sasha206

[seacliffsal]

I really enjoyed this special and really felt for Danielle, Ashley, and Jamie with their pregnancy difficulties.  I liked the interactions of the successful couples, and was surprised that Danielle became a stay at home mom after all her stated desires to continue working, etc.  As she stated though, you never know what you'll end up wanted to do.  It was very interesting to me that they had Sam and Molly on, both of whom came across poorly during their seasons.  

But, what really made my blood boil was the Amber/Matt interview.  They both worked so hard to sell their stories (hers: we HATE each other, his: Amber who?).  I appreciate those of you who found the divorce laws for North Carolina as it adds a really interesting aspect to why they are not yet divorced.

I wish they had more of these what are they doing specials.  I think Kevin Fraser is a good host.

[ECM1231]

I started watching this show the tail end of the Chicago season with Ashley and Anthony. I think Danielle and Cody were on that season, too, as well as the African-American couple whose husband turned out to be a cheater.  So, I didn't recognize a lot of the folks who appeared during the commercial breaks to give updates.  Elizabeth seems to have calmed down and hopefully she and Jamie can make a go of it but I was really shocked to see that they have lasted this long. I felt badly for Danielle and her harrowing birth experience with the preeclampsia; I'm happy she and the baby made it through without complications but I still don't like her. LOL  Jephte...ugh!  I don't like him, never have. I don't care if they were 'apart' when he cheated on her b/c they were still legally married and for goodness sake, she was pregnant with his child!  He couldn't keep it in his pants for a few months?  No way I would have taken him back.  Plus, during the show he made a comment that made me think he doesn't have much use or respect for women. I wish to heck I could remember what it was but when he said it (and it was an off-handed remark), I thought to myself, hmmm.  I knew there was a reason I didn't like him.  Had no idea Jamie never knew her father or not even his identity.  I knew her mom had drug problems and Jamie has half-siblings but for her own mom not to even know who the father of her child is, is pretty bad.  I did feel sorry for Jamie in that instance and wished she had been able to connect with her dad before he passed. The cynic in me is wondering if he knew he fathered a child or not, because if he did know he had a child out there and didn't accept responsibility, then he's pretty scummy as well and not worthy of all the accolades Jamie was heaping upon him.  One last thing...can't these women wear more appropriate clothing?  Elizabeth, Jamie and Shawniece looked like hoochy mamas, imo. Only Ashley was dressed appropriately. JMHO

[ShowFan]

7 hours ago, OnTime said:

I really don't get that because they are training to run a marathon!  Guess I thought they would be in better shape.

I wish it worked that way! I average 30 miles a week in running and have been running for the past 9 years consistently at that rate. Yet I have to constantly watch what I eat. 

18 hours ago, greeneyedscorpio said:

Can I ask how old you are?  You talk about pregnancy like my teenagers do.

I’m 41 but yes, you are right, it grosses me out today as much as it did when I was a teenager. I am happily married for 20 years. Child free by choice. Too many humans on this earth destroying it, that’s what grosses me out. 

[Elizzikra]

4 hours ago, qtpye said:

Amber had a bad history with men. Her family claimed that she would literally hand over her paycheck to her last boyfriend, who treated her badly.

I would not be surprised if some small part of her is hoping that Matt won’t sign the papers because he still wants to be with her. As some of you have pointed out, she can proceed with the divorce if she really wanted it.

Matt is not signing because he might need a place to stay in the future and he knows he can easily manipulate her.

Maybe Matt isn’t signing because he doesn’t know how to write his own name?

[ShowFan]

5 hours ago, DrewPaul2010 said:

Marriage and children does strange things to people...

Especially when one of them doesn’t care for the other at all in the first place 

[Neurochick]

Whenever someone says, "he/she can do SO much better" I wonder who are these magical people?  Where do they live?

I think Jephte and Shawnice area comfortable with each other, they're not madly in love with each other but that type of love burns out quickly.  I think both of them are into family, both of them want families.  It may not be the best reason to stay together, but sometimes I think we're all too influenced by Hollywood as to what "falling in love" is.

Matt is a jerk.  He has the mentality of a tween boy and I have no idea why he was chosen for this show.  People keep saying the producers should vet people, I agree; but I don't think that will help much.  A lot of times people don't like to say bad things about their neighbors and friends, for fear it will get back to them.  Matt's parting words of: "I'm going to kick it with an IG model. Holla." sounded VERY juvenile.  I mean what grown man talks like that? 

I hope Amber gets some type of therapy.  If she doesn't she's going to be carrying those resentment suitcases with her into her next relationships.  I don't think Amber is angry at Matt, I think she's angry at herself.  If I remember correctly, she and Matt jumped into bed pretty quickly; not good when you marry a stranger.  Amber was taken by Matt's good looks.  Ugh, he looked awful last night, what was going on with his hair?

The best thing Matt said last night was he should not have gone on the show. 

[ECM1231]

9 hours ago, gonecrackers said:

It was over before it even started with them, since Jephte didn't get his IG model.

Seriously? Is that what Jephte was expecting?  He's not a bad-looking man, but he's certainly no Idris Elba.  Shawniece is cute as a button, imo and has a lot of drive and ambition. He could do far, far worse. 

[Retired at last]

Since Keith and Kristine have been on Couples' Couch and are going to be on the new remote show, I was surprised that they weren't one of the featured couples. I like them. I would have also thought that this would have been a good  time to reintroduce Gregg and Deonna since they are also going to be on that new show.

Funny that they showed Dallas Dave. I wonder what ever happened to Dallas Amber. And I could have sworn that I saw a clip of Kate in the previews for the show.

[Guest]

I know we're all about snarking on everyone, but coming from someone who found her insufferable on her season, I was very proud of Sam and I think she's grown the most personally of any cast member. She didn't try to circle talk her way out of her behavior or play the victim or offer excuses. She just sat there and admitted she had been a giant asshat and treated someone who tried to be open to her like shit for no reason. I found her regret very sincere and I thought it was humble of her to attribute her current relationship success to Neil.

Amber still acts like she's in high school. It's embarrassing.

Wow, people here are really harsh on the women, lol. I'm a little mystified by the pregnancy/baby obsession in general, but it's to be expected from this ridiculously heteronormative show that mandates you to fall in love in eight weeks. I give Danielle a pass for "looking old" because she's a new mom who had to recover from partial liver failure. I also don't think wanting a second child makes you a Duggar.

Bobby saying he would've named the baby Danielle if she died made me tear up.

[Neurochick]

45 minutes ago, ECM1231 said:

Seriously? Is that what Jephte was expecting?  He's not a bad-looking man, but he's certainly no Idris Elba.  Shawniece is cute as a button, imo and has a lot of drive and ambition. He could do far, far worse. 

Yes, he wanted some IG model, someone who looks like Rihanna.  I think someone, maybe his mother told him that he'll probably never meet a woman as good as Shawnice.  She looked good last night, I liked her wig because it didn't look like those fugly wigs that they wear on Love and Hip Hop.

[DrewPaul2010]

I'm thinking back on the episodes between Jon and Molly and I don't recall him or her saying there was anything like abuse. On at least one episode she commented on how buff and chiseled he was. She mentioned he was down to his underwear. I don't recall her saying anything negative about him or that he was pushing sex. He was pushing for the simplest amount of affection like kissing or even emotional intimacy. She continually suggested there was nothing wrong with him she was 98% there. That was clearly never true not even 25% true. I agree no one under these circumstances or any circumstances has a right to have sex on demand. Any sex that isn't consensual is inappropriate or abusive.

When you do sign up for this gig as a participant you are someone who has convinced everyone you are seeking a spouse to love and cherish knowing this isn't the man you picked for yourself. You have foregone that privilege to choose your mate...but not the choice to be married at first sight. I have the same opinion across the board male or female. Secondly anyone who does this should know there actions will be scrutinized on social media and boards like this...again they signed up for it. If you can't stand the heat get out of the kitchen. 

 

[call me ishmael]

5 hours ago, Lm2162 said:

I don't know if I buy the whole 'Dr. Jessica was into him/after him from the beginning' thing. I could see it being more- a little spark/crush that she might have had for him, which many people (even married ones) can have and it never does any harm. We're attracted to people every day and rarely act on it. Then over time, she sees him being treated badly by Molly. She's one of the ones who knows the most details about his marriage to Molly before the season airs, so he wants to keep confiding in her/chatting with her after the season is over, when he's hurt and the wounds are fresh and he can't divulge a lot of details to the other people in his life. The connection grows into something more, simple as that. 

It's not the most conventional way two people have ever met, but they've specified many times that the experts on the show are not actually the cast members' therapists/clinicians, so I don't know that it's all that bad. 

I guess i disagree with you.   Dr. J may not have been their therapist but she was supposed to be their counselor and she was really out of line.  I remember when that scene first was shown being shocked by it and that was before the whole thing with her getting together with John.  It was remarkably unprofessional especially from a profession that trains you to keep your own emotions in check.  I wouldn’t have been surprised if it was Pastor Cal because he seems to think that yelling at someone to work hard is deep psychological insight but Dr. J was embarrassing there.  And i guess the show feels that way too because Kevin Frazier definitely made sure she looked bad.

[princelina]

5 hours ago, sasha206 said:

When a man starts bringing up your sexual past to shame you for not fucking him, it's actually worse than whining.

Her worst crime to him before that scene was wanting to have some romance that builds into something.  He was all horned up for her immediately and it was a turnoff (see ball gag).   I'm surprised people seem to like him.  I get that she was a cold fish with zero personality, but his over zealousness turned her way off.

 

4 hours ago, Adeejay said:

The problem I had with Molly was that she lied to everyone about being happy in her marriage, when she clearly wasn’t. She would wait until the cameras weren’t around to tell Jon how she really felt. The surly wife he described and the amiable lady the experts saw were polar opposites. He had to taped her because no one believed him. In the meanwhile she was on record stating that she’d had threesomes with strangers. So unlike her cast member Jephte, it wasn’t the “stranger factor” but rather the “Jon factor”. 

This!  And this is what I think he was trying to express in the scene where IMO he was just trying to get her to admit she wasn't into him.  The thing with the ball gag was a wedding gift from his frat-bro friends and it did seem that she was made uncomfortable by it, but he laughed it off and let it go, so once again it didn't seem to me like he was pushing for sex.  But they were married, he was attracted to her and was hoping to at some point have sex with his wife, so I guess I never found his behavior that offensive, since it was clear to me that she was lying about being "98%" good and it might happen.  With regard to her "sexual past", my take on his comments were that if she was comfortable having sex with a complete stranger then if she felt any attraction to him at all she would have been at least affectionate, and the fact that she wasn't meant to him that it was never going to happen and he wanted her to admit it.  My complaint with him would be that he aired that story on tv which was apparently told to him off camera - not cool. (Why?  I'll say it - because approaching a strange guy with your friend and announcing that you want to take him home for a threesome, and then doing it, IS actually slutty and something one should be ashamed of.)

 

2 hours ago, Neurochick said:

I think Jephte and Shawnice area comfortable with each other, they're not madly in love with each other but that type of love burns out quickly.  I think both of them are into family, both of them want families.  It may not be the best reason to stay together, but sometimes I think we're all too influenced by Hollywood as to what "falling in love" is.

I agree 100%.

1 hour ago, DrewPaul2010 said:

When you do sign up for this gig as a participant you are someone who has convinced everyone you are seeking a spouse to love and cherish knowing this isn't the man you picked for yourself. You have foregone that privilege to choose your mate...but not the choice to be married at first sight. I have the same opinion across the board male or female. Secondly anyone who does this should know there actions will be scrutinized on social media and boards like this...again they signed up for it. If you can't stand the heat get out of the kitchen. 

I agree with boards like this - everything's fair game.  And sadly you are right about social media in that they have to know it will happen.  But I would like to SHAME anyone reading this who does such a thing that going on people's SM accounts to tell them they are horrible, should die, etc. is not right at all!  I don't even understand why people would do that, and shame on those who do.

[Meowwww]

11 hours ago, Racj82 said:

Jephte and Shawniece easily have the best chemistry on couples couch and get along great together. They make each other laugh while also being able to talk about the tough topics. I know that's a small window into their life but they've shown a lot more than you are giving them.

I feel like Jamie could cure cancer and she would still get shit on. I don't think she can ever win.

I think she's gorgeous. I don't mind that she is riding her celebrity. That's her life. As long as she isn't hurting someone else, I don't care. I don't have a problem with the way she or any of these people dress. 

I never liked the way she treated Doug early on. I know you can come into this not being attracted to your mate but she was rude as fuck. I'm glad they got past it.

When I see Jamie, all I can see is the horrible lap dance she attempted on Ben on The Bachelor. 

[Yeah No]

7 hours ago, princelina said:

Not even basic caucasian sex? 😄 

I didn't take Jon's point to be whining that she wouldn't have sex - I thought he was trying to get her to just admit it wasn't happening and stop acting like it might someday.  Kind of like Zach now that you mention it.

Yes.  I think by that point Jon felt like he was being strung along and wanted her to just be honest and open about it, not continue to let him go on with false hopes.  To be fair it was after a month had passed with no change at all.  Now I don't remember if he was putting subtle pressure on her all the way through which turned her off, but this is a unique situation where there is all kinds of pressure on a person to find the other one attractive, not just pressure coming from the other person.  After all, you married them so you want to wait to see if it ever happens before throwing in the towel, but then you feel so much pressure that you may end up never feeling it just by virtue of the weight of your own expectation to do so, and you want to be sure you're really feeling it and not just doing it because it would make for a happy ending.  Those feelings have to have a non-pressurized situation in which to develop, which this is not just by virtue of the couple having gotten married before those feelings may have developed.  Molly could have been sincere about how she felt about that but Jon was tired of waiting so he had lost his patience and his belief in her.  I can understand that, but yeah, he didn't look good in that video.  It's like the more time went on the more his ego was bruised that she wasn't falling for him, and the more he acted snippy with her.  I remember when I first saw this exchange I thought she looked worse than him, but now I'm not seeing her as badly and him worse.

[Liberty]

5 hours ago, call me ishmael said:

Pastor Cal ..... seems to think that yelling at someone to work hard is deep psychological insight

This may be the best description of Poseur Cal's technique ever posted here!

[Yeah No]

3 hours ago, Liberty said:

9 hours ago, call me ishmael said:

Pastor Cal ..... seems to think that yelling at someone to work hard is deep psychological insight

This may be the best description of Poseur Cal's technique ever posted here!

I agree!  Plus it always bugs me how he just repeats that mantra over and over again like it's supposed to somehow sink in and make people inspired to like, or find their spouse even remotely attractive.  It's only going to do the opposite!  Hey I studied relationship psychology so it's not lost on me that relationships take some effort, but when a person first meets someone just about the LAST thing they want to do is feel like the relationship is a big noose around their neck that they are obligated to bear and that  they must make all sorts of sacrifices to keep alive when the pit of their stomach is saying, "This isn't for me".  NOBODY would blame you if you bailed on a new relationship because you didn't develop feelings for the person or you just didn't click in some important ways, but just because these people got married they're supposed to be ready to jump right into "making things work" when they're only ready to be focused on just getting to know the person and figuring out if they even LIKE them FIRST. 

Working on a relationship usually comes well after you decide you LIKE the person, not BEFORE it - after you have already decided that the person is for you but you have some issues to work out.   Having to "work" on liking someone you've just met is ridiculous.  You can't do that.  Either you like them or you don't.  It's really not possible to force something like that.  It's bound to backfire.  I understand that it's possible to fall out of "like" or "love" with a partner later in a relationship but that's after you've already decided you like and love them enough to marry them.  Here that's not already the case when he's pushing that angle.  And even in that case sometimes all the "work" in the world won't save the relationship.  It's like he wants to make the couples feel guilty for not doing something it's ridiculous to be asking them to do at this stage of their relationship.

And then bonehead Cal never acknowledges that most of the successful couples always seem to feel like their relationships are almost effortless and smooth with hardly a bump in the road or if there is one it isn't a huge deal that requires all this "work", which he doesn't ever even explain so it sounds like a complete buzzkill to anyone that hears it.

Grrrrrrr......😡

Edited May 1, 2020 by Yeah No

[sasha206]

8 hours ago, Yeah No said:

Yes.  I think by that point Jon felt like he was being strung along and wanted her to just be honest and open about it, not continue to let him go on with false hopes.  To be fair it was after a month had passed with no change at all.  Now I don't remember if he was putting subtle pressure on her all the way through which turned her off, but this is a unique situation where there is all kinds of pressure on a person to find the other one attractive, not just pressure coming from the other person.  After all, you married them so you want to wait to see if it ever happens before throwing in the towel, but then you feel so much pressure that you may end up never feeling it just by virtue of the weight of your own expectation to do so, and you want to be sure you're really feeling it and not just doing it because it would make for a happy ending.  Those feelings have to have a non-pressurized situation in which to develop, which this is not just by virtue of the couple having gotten married before those feelings may have developed.  Molly could have been sincere about how she felt about that but Jon was tired of waiting so he had lost his patience and his belief in her.  I can understand that, but yeah, he didn't look good in that video.  It's like the more time went on the more his ego was bruised that she wasn't falling for him, and the more he acted snippy with her.  I remember when I first saw this exchange I thought she looked worse than him, but now I'm not seeing her as badly and him worse.

And that's what it was.  An ego bruising.  He couldn't grasp how Molly didn't find him the sexiest man alive.   

 

 

 

 

 

[sasha206]

10 hours ago, princelina said:

 

This!  And this is what I think he was trying to express in the scene where IMO he was just trying to get her to admit she wasn't into him.  The thing with the ball gag was a wedding gift from his frat-bro friends and it did seem that she was made uncomfortable by it, but he laughed it off and let it go, so once again it didn't seem to me like he was pushing for sex.  But they were married, he was attracted to her and was hoping to at some point have sex with his wife, so I guess I never found his behavior that offensive, since it was clear to me that she was lying about being "98%" good and it might happen.  With regard to her "sexual past", my take on his comments were that if she was comfortable having sex with a complete stranger then if she felt any attraction to him at all she would have been at least affectionate, and the fact that she wasn't meant to him that it was never going to happen and he wanted her to admit it.  My complaint with him would be that he aired that story on tv which was apparently told to him off camera - not cool. (Why?  I'll say it - because approaching a strange guy with your friend and announcing that you want to take him home for a threesome, and then doing it, IS actually slutty and something one should be ashamed of.)

Frat-bro friends!  That's exactly what his mentality is -- a frat bro. 

I think that him putting her on the spot of now or never, you fucked a stranger, why not me is like putting a nail in a coffin.   That's not the way to get a woman horny.  I'm sure the slut shaming scene wasn't the first time lack of intimacy was brought up in those first 3 weeks.

[StatisticalOutlier]

16 hours ago, ECM1231 said:

One last thing...can't these women wear more appropriate clothing?  Elizabeth, Jamie and Shawniece looked like hoochy mamas, imo. Only Ashley was dressed appropriately. JMHO

I'm with you 100%, and wonder if it's an age thing.  I'm old, and over the hoochie. 

Plus, I look at the men getting to sit any which way they want, and the women not, because of their damn clothes.

[sometimesjennifer]

16 hours ago, sasha206 said:

I really didn't like her at all, but I thought he seemed to get off as blameless. He was so focused on having sex with her, it turned her off. 

As @DrewPaul2010 mentioned, I don't remember it as Jon being focused on sex with Molly per se, as much as wanting any bit of affection from her, and not necessarily just physical. She was very cold and uptight with him, and although it may have been messed up for him to bring up the threesome that she told him about in confidence, I recall it being more like, "Where's that fun, spontaneous, adventurous woman you brag so often about being?" She talked a big talk about her wild personality, but was very buttoned up with him, which I think must have been very frustrating.

16 hours ago, seacliffsal said:

I really enjoyed this special and really felt for Danielle, Ashley, and Jamie with their pregnancy difficulties.  I liked the interactions of the successful couples, and was surprised that Danielle became a stay at home mom after all her stated desires to continue working, etc.  As she stated though, you never know what you'll end up wanted to do. 

I wish Kevin would have asked her if she regrets saying she would want to shoot herself in the face if she had to be a stay at home mom. They played the clip, so I thought they were setting him up to ask her about it, but then he didn't mention it at all.

15 hours ago, ShowFan said:

I’m 41 but yes, you are right, it grosses me out today as much as it did when I was a teenager. I am happily married for 20 years. Child free by choice. Too many humans on this earth destroying it, that’s what grosses me out. 

I am 46 and also married for 20 years and child free by choice, and I feel much the same way. This type of desperation to procreate makes me uncomfortable and sad. I can understand the urge to be a mother, but I don't understand Jamie putting herself through that over and over just so she can have biological offspring. They already had one kid, and there are SO MANY children out there already who need good homes. If they are so desperate for more kids, why spend all that time, money, and physical/emotional toll trying to force her body to carry a child? She, especially, knows how it feels to be a child who was abandoned by her parents. Why not adopt?

14 hours ago, Neurochick said:

Whenever someone says, "he/she can do SO much better" I wonder who are these magical people?  Where do they live?

I think Jephte and Shawnice area comfortable with each other, they're not madly in love with each other but that type of love burns out quickly.  I think both of them are into family, both of them want families.  It may not be the best reason to stay together, but sometimes I think we're all too influenced by Hollywood as to what "falling in love" is.

I am not sure if Shawneice CAN do better, but she sure deserves to be treated better than she is by Jephte. She is such a lovely, kind hearted, fun person. My heart breaks for her and all he has put her through. The comment I mentioned before, about how he is staying married to her because he wants all of his kids to have the same mother, leads me to believe that when they are done having kids he will probably leave her. They don't need a Hollywood romance, but there should be some level of mutual respect in the marriage. Even if they enjoy each other's company, on a deeper level he just sees her as someone he can tolerate long enough to stay with till he has gotten all the kids out of her that he wants. She deserves someone who appreciates her as a person, not just as the mother of his kids.

[gonecrackers]

4 hours ago, Yeah No said:

And then bonehead Cal never acknowledges that most of the successful couples always seem to feel like their relationships are almost effortless and smooth with hardly a bump in the road or if there is one it isn't a huge deal that requires all this "work", which he doesn't ever even explain so it sounds like a complete buzzkill to anyone that hears it.

I think it's more what you said previous to this, in that it takes genuinely liking each other first, then they can do the work to make it a long lasting relationship. It doesn't seem like Ashley & Anthony or others haven't had bumps here or there, most everyone does, but when they like & respect each other they'll have a good foundation to build off. With most of these couples it, whatever 'it' is, just doesn't click from the jump, so it's never going to happen because that can't be forced. So any relationship building work isn't worth it for them.

[ReadMeLattice]

18 hours ago, Adeejay said:

The problem I had with Molly was that she lied to everyone about being happy in her marriage, when she clearly wasn’t. She would wait until the cameras weren’t around to tell Jon how she really felt. The surly wife he described and the amiable lady the experts saw were polar opposites. He had to taped her because no one believed him. In the meanwhile she was on record stating that she’d had threesomes with strangers. So unlike her cast member Jephte, it wasn’t the “stranger factor” but rather the “Jon factor”. 

Edited - I deleted it because what I wrote didn't make sense. lol!

Edited May 1, 2020 by Lm2162

[ReadMeLattice]

14 hours ago, DrewPaul2010 said:

I'm thinking back on the episodes between Jon and Molly and I don't recall him or her saying there was anything like abuse.

 

He called her emotionally abusive at the reunion episode on their season. 

[ReadMeLattice]

14 hours ago, call me ishmael said:

I guess i disagree with you.   Dr. J may not have been their therapist but she was supposed to be their counselor and she was really out of line.  I remember when that scene first was shown being shocked by it and that was before the whole thing with her getting together with John.  It was remarkably unprofessional especially from a profession that trains you to keep your own emotions in check.  I wouldn’t have been surprised if it was Pastor Cal because he seems to think that yelling at someone to work hard is deep psychological insight but Dr. J was embarrassing there.  And i guess the show feels that way too because Kevin Frazier definitely made sure she looked bad.

It was definitely inappropriate behavior but I'm just saying it's not technically "unethical" in an official sense because she wasn't actually their counselor. Do I think it was totally okay behavior as a *human being* or as someone who purports to be a counselor on TV, no. But I think it embarrassed the show because it revealed that, actually, these people aren't acting as their counselors at all, in any capacity, no matter how much they try to set that dynamic up on TV. People complained to the requisite psychological board/medical board (sorry, not sure) after they got together, but there was no complaint to be made...because they're not actually their therapists. They're there for entertainment. It's basically like he got together with a friend who was his confidante & advice-giver during a protracted breakup and who had a little crush on him, not like getting together with his actual doctor/therapist. Still weird, but not the same power dynamic.

It kind of revealed that the underpinnings of the show are pretty much a sham and that none of the experts are actually bound to the usual ethical guidelines- they don't truly have to have their participants' best interests in mind as a counselor or social worker would, because they are acting as entertainers, not as their clinicians. That's why I think the show's 'experts' weren't pleased. When we see the experts telling participants to keep trying on marriages that are clearly beyond dead, it's for the show, not for their best interests.

So yeah, I guess, is it moral? Probably not totally, but imo definitely not worse than telling people who are being cheated on, lied to, screamed at, told they're ugly every day, etc., to "stick it out" as all the experts so often do to keep the show going. 

Edited May 1, 2020 by Lm2162