S08.E12: All Daugs Go to Heaven

[OnceSane]

Quote

Tom Sandoval throws an extra themed birthday party; Stassi and Katie learn they must work with Kristen; Max tries to ban Danica from TomTom; Tom Schwartz hosts an unusual memorial for his dead lizard, Daug.

Airs March 24, 2020.

[bosawks]

If Sandoval is as good at stilt walking as he is at the trumpet we may be about to see a death play out before our eyes.

[FlyingEgret]

Jax complaining about having to dress up after they made everyone wear castle-themed onesies to the wedding festivities.  Don't ever stop being self serving Jax...

[Emmeline]

I have to say that I have grown to like James.  I know some people believe in the tough love approach, however, being ostracized could be detrimental to to his mental health also.  I also wish they would stop calling Raquel stupid.  Whatever her IQ might be, that’s bullying.

 

Edited March 25, 2020 by Emmeline

[snarts]

I might be high (ok, am definitely high) but that scene with Lala & Raquel in the coffee shop was hilarious. "It's one thing to question my character, but to question my intelligence?" Followed by "I definitely dont think that you're a TOTAL idiot" .

 

 

[Ubiquitous]

On ‎3‎/‎23‎/‎2020 at 7:34 PM, OnceSane said:

"All Daugs Go to Heaven". Tom Sandoval throws an extra themed birthday party; Stassi and Katie learn they must work with Kristen; Max tries to ban Danica from TomTom; Tom Schwartz hosts an unusual memorial for his dead lizard, Daug.

Some days, I wonder about Schwartz...

I hope Jax realized that the people who gave him those wedding gifts were probably watching this show, particularly his reaction to the dish towels. Why didn't Max tell Danica he 86's her from TomTom was because she was spreading rumors to Dayna? LaLa and Raquel reconciling was precious (OK, it was funny when the latter said "It's one thing to question my character, but to question my intelligence?") but I knew it wasn't going to last. Sure enough, it almost didn't make it past the scene at canine philanthropist Lisa Vanderbark's dog store. Once again, I'm not sure why LaLa told her DJ Muppet Baby's gay friend told her he was a party drinking with him without showing the video he claimed he took. For that matter, why does DJ Muppet baby's gay friend keep showing up? I don't know if it's the way it normally looks, but the place Flat-Iron Tom's "EXTRA" party looked funky and fun. I wish they had more people explain what they were going as, tho.

Edited March 25, 2020 by Ubiquitous

[LibertarianSlut]

Why is Max so sweaty at work?  It’s gross for a restaurant/bar manager to be sweating like that.  Max thinks he can ban Danica from TomTom, thus losing business for the establishment, because he doesn’t want people coming in that he doesn’t want to look at?  Hey bud, welcome to the restaurant industry!

What is this accent they have?  Danica, Raquel, Max, Dayna and Scheana all sound so strange to my ear.  I understand there is a Southern California accent—my cousins have it—but they sound so much more educated than this.  These people pronounce their a’s like o’s and they seem to add an extra syllable to every wordaaaaa.  Do they think this sounds current?  Because it sounds eighties.  WTF?  

There is nothing novel or interesting or entertaining about Daug’s funeral.  Nothing says “running out of things to shoot” like a funeral for a lizard.  

Was that a tea set or a tea cup that Lisa got them?  Why would she think they would use that?  The two of them drink beer and tequila exclusively.  Who summons you to their house to receive a gift?  To quote Ted Dansen, “that’s not a gift, that’s a problem.”  

Katie with the pulled-back hair and glasses with a black knit poncho over faded orange overalls (?) at the lizard funeral was such an unattractive look.  Possibly the dumpiest I’ve ever seen her.  The flashback of Katie having “so much going on” was hilarious.  The producers clearly hate her and I’m living for it.  

Brittney looked really heavy really suddenly.  Her shoulders were like a linebacker’s.  I don’t remember her like this in prior episodes.  It’s like she expanded overnight after her wedding.  The same thing happened to Bethenny Frankel right after her wedding...but Bethenny was seven months pregnant.  Brittney’s weight gain was so sudden I would not have believed Brittney when she told Lisa she wasn’t pregnant, except for the obvious.  

When Kristen caught Brittney wearing the wedding robe and Brittney said, “I just can’t give this wedding up,” complete with an open mouthed chuckle/guffaw (and possibly even a foot stomp), I threw up a little bit in my mouth.  

Holy shit, Dayna, he’s just not that into you!  He wants to go back to fucking randos, he doesn’t want to be exclusive, and, by freaking out, you gave him an out that he is going to ride to the end of the earth.  My God, does the man have to take out an ad in the newspaper that he is not interested?  Desperate much?

I posted in an earlier episode’s thread that I wanted to see Raquel with no makeup.  Be careful what you wish for.  

So Raquel asks Lala if she truly thinks she’s stupid and Lala responds that she wouldn’t waste her time on a “true idiot” and Raquel is beaming with pride.  I...think Lala answered your question Raquel.  Also, all the goodwill Lala built up with me was lost with that mismatching cheetah outfit (just kidding...sorta).

James, Lala kind of beat you to the punch with the sobriety thing.  It’s not like VanderPump weddings, where I can get excited about them over and over again, no matter how odious the players (ahem, Jax and Brittney).  One sober storyline is about all I can handle, given that the job description is basically to get drunk and make an asshole of yourself.  If Raquel wasn’t a dummy, why wouldn’t she just say that the party that Logan was referring to happened before James got “sober”?  I assume the chip he picked up at the AA meeting was a 24 hour chip.  Anything before that would be “pre-AA,” so it shouldn’t be surprising that James was lying, doing drugs, and lying about doing drugs.  She couldn’t think of that?  I’m not surprised that James continued to lie about it, because that’s what he does, but I’m surprised Raquel couldn't come up with such a convenient lie.  

I just kinda thought of something when they showed Charli...does she continue to bring up pasta and how she’s never eaten pasta in some effort of reviving the bizarre popularity of “it’s not about the pasta”?  If so, that’s about the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard, which puts her on par with the rest of the new people + Scheana.  Who cast this mess?

The second Katie said “I want to have a girls’ night,” I was like, “oh, this is completely about being mean to Kristen.”  Up sidles Kristen, and the rest writes itself.  

Next week looks amazing!!

[LibertarianSlut]

I just realized it’s episode 12 already.  What the hell can Brett possibly do in the next (roughly) eight episodes to justify appearing in the opening?!?  Fuck his best friend’s girlfriend?  Fuck everyone on this show?  Get in a bunch of fistfights?  He’d have to become Jax on coke and steroids (but I repeat myself) for his inclusion in the opening not to have been an epic error.  

[Callaphera]

Jax: "Tea towels. Ugh."
Also Jax: "This is the best teapot that ever teapotted. Thanks, Lisa!"

Oh, okay, Jax. 

[Ubiquitous]

4 minutes ago, LibertarianSlut said:

There is nothing novel or interesting or entertaining about Daug’s funeral.  Nothing says “running out of things to shoot” like a funeral for a lizard.  

I almost felt embarrassed for them at Daug's funeral. What a spectacle, and I meant the bad type.

4 minutes ago, LibertarianSlut said:

Was that a tea set or a tea cup that Lisa got them?  Why would she think they would use that?  The two of them drink beer and tequila exclusively.  Who summons you to their house to receive a gift?  To quote Ted Dansen, “that’s not a gift, that’s a problem.”  

I thought it was a tea set, but I only saw the kettle/pot. I suspect the main reason for them meeting grieving daughter Lisa Vanderbucks was so she could prattle on about her mother's funeral. Did she say she missed it?

5 minutes ago, LibertarianSlut said:

 If Raquel wasn’t a dummy, why wouldn’t she just say that the party that Logan was referring to happened before James got “sober”?  I assume the chip he picked up at the AA meeting was a 24 hour chip.

It never occurred to me that Logan's party was before DJ Muppet Baby's first AA meeting. Surely, LaLa would know that?

[Ubiquitous]

5 minutes ago, LibertarianSlut said:

I just realized it’s episode 12 already.  What the hell can Brett possibly do in the next (roughly) eight episodes to justify appearing in the opening?!?  

I didn't realize just how many people were in the opening credits now until after I watched some season two eps earlier today. They cut them so short to fit them in that I have to pay attention to who's in them, but I was amused by whatever the hell LaLa was wearing that looked like paper towel cores and Sheena trying to copy that sexy spin around move with a tray of drinkd that someone else used to do much better.

[nytonc]

19 minutes ago, LibertarianSlut said:

Why is Max so sweaty at work?  It’s gross for a restaurant/bar manager to be sweating like that.  Max thinks he can ban Danica from TomTom, thus losing business for the establishment, because he doesn’t want people coming in that he doesn’t want to look at?  Hey bud, welcome to the restaurant industry!

What is this accent they have?  Danica, Raquel, Max, Dayna and Scheana all sound so strange to my ear.  I understand there is a Southern California accent—my cousins have it—but they sound so much more educated than this.  These people pronounce their a’s like o’s and they seem to add an extra syllable to every wordaaaaa.  Do they think this sounds current?  Because it sounds eighties.  WTF?  

There is nothing novel or interesting or entertaining about Daug’s funeral.  Nothing says “running out of things to shoot” like a funeral for a lizard.  

Was that a tea set or a tea cup that Lisa got them?  Why would she think they would use that?  The two of them drink beer and tequila exclusively.  Who summons you to their house to receive a gift?  To quote Ted Dansen, “that’s not a gift, that’s a problem.”  

Katie with the pulled-back hair and glasses with a black knit poncho over faded orange overalls (?) at the lizard funeral was such an unattractive look.  Possibly the dumpiest I’ve ever seen her.  The flashback of Katie having “so much going on” was hilarious.  The producers clearly hate her and I’m living for it.  

Brittney looked really heavy really suddenly.  Her shoulders were like a linebacker’s.  I don’t remember her like this in prior episodes.  It’s like she expanded overnight after her wedding.  The same thing happened to Bethenny Frankel right after her wedding...but Bethenny was seven months pregnant.  Brittney’s weight gain was so sudden I would not have believed Brittney when she told Lisa she wasn’t pregnant, except for the obvious.  

When Kristen caught Brittney wearing the wedding robe and Brittney said, “I just can’t give this wedding up,” complete with an open mouthed chuckle/guffaw (and possibly even a foot stomp), I threw up a little bit in my mouth.  

Holy shit, Dayna, he’s just not that into you!  He wants to go back to fucking randos, he doesn’t want to be exclusive, and, by freaking out, you gave him an out that he is going to ride to the end of the earth.  My God, does the man have to take out an ad in the newspaper that he is not interested?  Desperate much?

I posted in an earlier episode’s thread that I wanted to see Raquel with no makeup.  Be careful what you wish for.  

So Raquel asks Lala if she truly thinks she’s stupid and Lala responds that she wouldn’t waste her time on a “true idiot” and Raquel is beaming with pride.  I...think Lala answered your question Raquel.  Also, all the goodwill Lala built up with me was lost with that mismatching cheetah outfit (just kidding...sorta).

James, Lala kind of beat you to the punch with the sobriety thing.  It’s not like VanderPump weddings, where I can get excited about them over and over again, no matter how odious the players (ahem, Jax and Brittney).  One sober storyline is about all I can handle, given that the job description is basically to get drunk and make an asshole of yourself.  If Raquel wasn’t a dummy, why wouldn’t she just say that the party that Logan was referring to happened before James got “sober”?  I assume the chip he picked up at the AA meeting was a 24 hour chip.  Anything before that would be “pre-AA,” so it shouldn’t be surprising that James was lying, doing drugs, and lying about doing drugs.  She couldn’t think of that?  I’m not surprised that James continued to lie about it, because that’s what he does, but I’m surprised Raquel couldn't come up with such a convenient lie.  

I just kinda thought of something when they showed Charli...does she continue to bring up pasta and how she’s never eaten pasta in some effort of reviving the bizarre popularity of “it’s not about the pasta”?  If so, that’s about the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard, which puts her on par with the rest of the new people + Scheana.  Who cast this mess?

The second Katie said “I want to have a girls’ night,” I was like, “oh, this is completely about being mean to Kristen.”  Up sidles Kristen, and the rest writes itself.  

Next week looks amazing!!

It’s SoCal brainless which is a regional dialect of Cal moron. 

[Pop Tart]

12 minutes ago, LibertarianSlut said:

Was that a tea set or a tea cup that Lisa got them?  Why would she think they would use that?  The two of them drink beer and tequila exclusively.  Who summons you to their house to receive a gift?  To quote Ted Dansen, “that’s not a gift, that’s a problem.”  

What that was was Lisa needing some screen time so she brought them over to the house and re-gifted something out of her closet. Not that I wouldn’t love that tea set, but her claim that she hauled it to Kentucky, didn’t give it to them, then hauled it back? I think not. She wanted to have the conversation about her mother and be seen as the sage advisor to the newlyweds.

And Max and Dayna? You didn’t have a relationship, you were “hanging out” and had sex a few times. So there’s no tragic breakup here. You’re just not hanging out anymore. I’ve seen some made-up storylines over the many “reality” shows I watch, but this is right up there on top of the list for fakest of the fake.

[Callaphera]

6 minutes ago, Ubiquitous said:

I didn't realize just how many people were in the opening credits now until after I watched some season two eps earlier today. They cut them so short to fit them in that I have to pay attention to who's in them, but I was amused by whatever the hell LaLa was wearing that looked like paper towel cores and Sheena trying to copy that sexy spin around move with a tray of drinkd that someone else used to do much better.

Scheana's version of that move is just so Scheana. It cracks me up every time I see it. 

[nytonc]

Scheana must be loving the Max/Dayna breakup/relationship that never was. 
 

Katie is having too much fun to promote the business with Kristin????  My 99 yr old Grandmother looks like she has more fun. Katie always looks like she’s taking her last few breaths on this planet. It must be soul-killing to be around her for any length of time. 
 

Lala needs to ease up with the contouring & bronzing. She looks like she stuck her face in mud. 

Edited March 25, 2020 by nytonc

[Ubiquitous]

15 minutes ago, nytonc said:

Katie is having too much fun to promote the business with Kristin????  My 99 yr old Grandmother looks like she has more fun. Katie always looks like she’s taking her last few breaths on this planet. It must be soul-killing to be around her for any length of time. 

Katie always reminds me of Chaka Khan in her talking head interviews:

 

[Jel]

If you thought drunk Lala was bad, I give you sanctimonious Lala. She is unbearable. 

They all suck really, but Lala as hbic? No. Nope. Never.

[princelina]

So when Sandoval wanted an "extra" themed party, I was thinking that I guess I'm old, and while I sort of understand it in a vague sort of way I really don't understand what "extra" means, and could not for the life of me figure out how I would dress for that party because I don't get the theme.

Then he tells us that it just means that whatever is "extra"ordinary about your style or self should be further exaggerated, and I think to myself that maybe I kind of get it . . . 

Then "Lala" and Raquel show up at the coffee shop in their outfits!  I get it - I finally get it! 😄😄 😄 

[PhilMarlowe2]

1 hour ago, Jel said:

If you thought drunk Lala was bad, I give you sanctimonious Lala. She is unbearable. 

They all suck really, but Lala as hbic? No. Nope. Never.

Unfortunately, she was sanctimonious even when she was drunk.

[ivygirl]

Gotta say that Jax’s “PowerPoint presentation” was my favorite part of the show. I don’t know that Jax (or Jason) would choose Comic Sans—seems more of a Copperplate Gothic kinda guy—but having seen someone use Comic Sans on a “professional” budget spreadsheet, I got a kick out of it. Not to mention the HIIIIIIIIIDEOUS color palette 🤣

[biakbiak]

I really found the fake performative funeral to be really offensive. I guess the ludicrous spectacle of something that they probably didn’t properly care for in the brief time that they had him pushed me over the edge. 

[Ubiquitous]

4 hours ago, princelina said:

So when Sandoval wanted an "extra" themed party, I was thinking that I guess I'm old, and while I sort of understand it in a vague sort of way I really don't understand what "extra" means, and could not for the life of me figure out how I would dress for that party because I don't get the theme.

Then he tells us that it just means that whatever is "extra"ordinary about your style or self should be further exaggerated, and I think to myself that maybe I kind of get it . . . 

Then "Lala" and Raquel show up at the coffee shop in their outfits!  I get it - I finally get it! 😄😄 😄 

I'm still not sure I get it b/c I don't think it means EXTRAordinary, at least as a positive value.

11 minutes ago, biakbiak said:

I really found the fake performative funeral to be really offensive. I guess the ludicrous spectacle of something that they probably didn’t properly care for in the brief time that they had him pushed me over the edge. 

I may be entering the grassy knoll territory here, but I think Daug killed himself.

[biakbiak]

Was Lala trying to look like Lucky Santangelo for her meeting with Raquel?

[Ubiquitous]

1 hour ago, biakbiak said:

Was Lala trying to look like Lucky Santangelo for her meeting with Raquel?

I was thinking Rhoda Morgenstern.

[Carolina Girl]

4 hours ago, Ubiquitous said:

I may be entering the grassy knoll territory here, but I think Daug killed himself.

I wouldn't blame him if he did.

Katie's asshat comments on Kristin's t-shirt line were bizarre - especially since as far as I can tell, HER career is a blog where we all get to watch her put on lipstick.  I'm no fan of Kristin, God knows, but the lady is out there on the hustle.  She has to deal with suppliers, manufacturers and product.  Katie has to worry about slow internet speeds.  

[Sun-Bun]

10 hours ago, nytonc said:

Katie is having too much fun to promote the business with Kristin????  My 99 yr old Grandmother looks like she has more fun. Katie always looks like she’s taking her last few breaths on this planet. It must be soul-killing to be around her for any length of time. 

Seriously!! I’ll never understand how such a lameassed She-Hulk bitch like Katie was ever a cast member on this show, especially since she’s gotten even *worse* as the seasons have worn on. Not only does her body get puffier with every season, but her attitude gets snottier too. Stassi only latches onto her because she knows Katie is dumb enough to easily manipulate into remaining as her one sole minion.

And I get that Katie is annoyed with Kristen right now, but it looks like she takes such unnecessary deviant pleasure in taunting and mean girling Kristen. Like dude, this is your supposed “business partner”; you’re supposed to be promoting and helping sales despite any personal issues, so it’s no wonder that joke of a wine business is currently sputtering into oblivion. It was obviously just a little publicity whim they pursued as a random vanity project a’la RHofNYC’s Ramona Pinot Grigio; although Ramona Singer is savvy enough to keep promoting this project.
So Katie’s not only bitchy, but lazy AF too. I'm convinced she’s too busy lying around feeding her stoner munchies to even bother ever considering actual work. God forbid she ever gets pregnant...the idea of her and dim pussywhipped prettyboy Schwartz parenting anything beyond lizards and dogs is so frightening. 

Obviously I’m looking forward to seeing Schwartz say next week, “this is why I don’t sleep with her anymore.” I don’t doubt it; they’re such a horrible match. 

Edited March 25, 2020 by Sun-Bun

[bosawks]

22 minutes ago, Carolina Girl said:

Katie has to worry about slow internet speeds.  

Katie's default speed is slow so I wonder if she would even notice.

She probably thinks computer buffering is the computer's way to tell her she should take another nap.

[bosawks]

5 hours ago, Ubiquitous said:

I may be entering the grassy knoll territory here, but I think Daug killed himself.

The most ambition any creature has shown in that household.

[CloseThisAccount]

So La La was really committed to that Gloria Swanson as Norma Desmond look in the coffee shop, huh?  And in walks Raquel as Baby Jane.  

When Schwartz walked into Tom Tom & sweaty Max hugged him & said, "You smell like alcohol."  It's coming out of his pores now. Jesus, life with Katie, the busy project manager, must be hell.  Bravo ran the last episodes of Season 2 yesterday & Schwartz has changed so much.  His skin tone, the light in his eyes, it's all gone now.

PowerPoint presentation. Jax is so stupid, so gleefully, proudly stupid.

[Ubiquitous]

1 hour ago, Carolina Girl said:

Katie's asshat comments on Kristin's t-shirt line were bizarre - especially since as far as I can tell, HER career is a blog where we all get to watch her put on lipstick.  I'm no fan of Kristin, God knows, but the lady is out there on the hustle.  She has to deal with suppliers, manufacturers and product.  Katie has to worry about slow internet speeds.  

I didn't quite catch it, but was Katie's main criticism that Kristen copypastas inspirational sayings from Etsy for her tshirts? Whatever happened to Katie's "Fat and Frumpy" (or was it "Dumpy and Dour"?) fashion blog website? 

4 minutes ago, TakeAPinotGrigio said:

PowerPoint presentation. Jax is so stupid, so gleefully, proudly stupid.

How did I forget about that? Heelarious! 

[CloseThisAccount]

48 minutes ago, Ubiquitous said:

 

How did I forget about that? Heelarious! 

"You make points & they're powerful points."

"copypastas." Ubiquitous, that's freaking hilarious!

I believe the official name of the blog that keeps successful entrepreneur Katie Maloney so busy is Pucker & Pray this Show Never Ends Bc I'm Absolutely Unemployable -- & Sexy & Unique

Edited March 25, 2020 by TakeAPinotGrigio

[CloseThisAccount]

Some experts, unlike our president, are saying we might have to quarantine until summer, which, coincidentally is when VPR starts filming.  I want hours of self-filmed captivity footage of Jax & Katie, both of whom must be delightful right about now. Bonus: I'm sure Jax has billions of great ideas to cure Covid-19.

Please, please make this happen, production gods!  Don't wait until summer -- order them to start filming themselves now. I NEED THIS!

Edited March 25, 2020 by TakeAPinotGrigio

[albarino]

14 hours ago, LibertarianSlut said:

Possibly the dumpiest I’ve ever seen her.  The flashback of Katie having “so much going on” was hilarious.  The producers clearly hate her and I’m living for it.  

^^This^^

She looks terrible this season, and yes, I had the same thought about the producers.  Keep doing you, Katie!  

[Pop Tart]

I think my favorite moment - along with Jax's explanation of how Powerpoint works (not) - was Sandoval saying he wanted his party to be eppervescent. 

Oh and Charley? saying she's just so extra every day of her life so she came as herself to the party? She's going to give Raquel a run for the money in the vapid dept.

[AnnieBananie]

14 hours ago, LibertarianSlut said:

When Kristen caught Brittney wearing the wedding robe and Brittney said, “I just can’t give this wedding up,” complete with an open mouthed chuckle/guffaw (and possibly even a foot stomp), I threw up a little bit in my mouth.  

 

This confirmed to me that Brittany wanted a wedding, to be a bride, and whoever was the groom was merely an afterthought - it was all about her BIG DAY and being the BRIDE and getting MEEERRRRRIIEEEEEEEDDDDD

[Thumper]

I could not believe Jax (well, I believe it because, Jax) when he said the wedding gifts better be expensive, since he paid so much for the wedding!  Not so sure HE paid for the wedding.  Also, and I know this is a point of contention, I don’t buy wedding gifts based on how much I think the wedding is costing the couple/family.  So crass.  

Edited March 25, 2020 by Thumper

[Ubiquitous]

3 hours ago, TakeAPinotGrigio said:

"copypastas." Ubiquitous, that's freaking hilarious!

Thanks! "Copypasta" is a relatively old Internet term I learned when I recently discovered Creepypasta. I thought I was the last person on Earth to know that. ha ha

 

2 hours ago, Pop Tart said:

Oh and Charley? saying she's just so extra every day of her life so she came as herself to the party? She's going to give Raquel a run for the money in the vapid dept.

Is that who said that? I keep forgetting Charli exists; in fact I keep thinking it was Raquel who claimed to have never eaten pasta before.

[psychoticstate]

This show used to be such a guilty pleasure for me.  Now I just feel guilty watching it.  

I couldn't care less about the newbies other than trying to decide whose brain is the most useless:  Dayna, Max, Danica, or Charli.   

So Flat Iron has an "extra" themed birthday party?  Yawn.  Since being extra isn't exactly a compliment, why would you want that as a theme for your party?  Maybe all that forehead flat ironing is burning brain cells.   

I must be getting old because these chucklefucks' parties look like torture to me.  Have to say, though, that Stassi looked great at Daug's funeral/memorial.   Her hair and makeup was super on point.

Katie came dressed as normal, everyday Katie for the extra party?  She looked exactly the same to me:  a cross between a linebacker and Chaka Khan -- thank you, @Ubiquitous.  She sure is a bitter bitch.  And Katie, you have NOTHING going on.  You can't even be bothered with your wine line, or whatever it is.  So you really shouldn't be saying jack shit about Kristen.  At least she has a t-shirt line she's hustling on.  I've never been a fan of Kristen's but this mean girling bullshit is ridiculous.

I really think Scheana should stop going to Morticia Adams' hair stylist.  It's not doing her any favors.  

Is Brittany still making Jax carry her all over the place because now she's MEEEEERRRRRRRIIIIIIEEEEED and a/his WIFE?  Jax better find a good chiropractor.

I really hope that DJ Jazzy James sticks with AA.  I believe he has potential - - which is more than I can say for most of these fuckwits.  

Can we just have scenes of James, Villa Rosa, and Vanderpump Dogs?  Because I don't really care very much about any of the rest. 

 

[bichonblitz]

5 hours ago, TakeAPinotGrigio said:

Bravo ran the last episodes of Season 2 yesterday & Schwartz has changed so much.  His skin tone, the light in his eyes, it's all gone now.

I noticed that, too. He is losing his looks. You just can't drink and party like an animal when you are pushing 40 and expect to keep looking great. Shame, too, because at one time he was so handsome. The Daug funeral was so embarassing. Goes to show the Schwartz' have nothing going on with their lives. 

Big shout out to the editors that must hate Katie for showing us the montage of Katie being a boring, lazy mound of useless flesh over the years. How dare she put down Kristin's hustle? I agree with Kristin, bish is jealous. Now, I want to know why Stassi is so die hard besties with Katie. She's a loser with no personality. Stassi is always saying she has no time for people like that. Well, Stass, honey, you are making plenty of time for "people like that". Your best friend is that. 

I fast forward through every newbie scene. No interest whatsofuckingever. 

20 minutes ago, psychoticstate said:

Is Brittany still making Jax carry her all over the place because now she's MEEEEERRRRRRRIIIIIIEEEEED and a/his WIFE?  Jax better find a good chiropractor.

How long before Jax is sick of his bride playing the newlywed game? I saw traces of him losing his patience last night as his eyes were glazing over with boredom. Grow up, Brittney, and stop with that shit eating grin every time you mention how happy you are to be married. 

Edited March 25, 2020 by bichonblitz

[watcherwoman]

I watched some of the early episodes yesterday. Stassi was talking about all the porn Jax watched, and how he loved big woman porn.  LOL!   I don't think Brittany is big at all, but looks that way next to the very skinny girls.   Jax isn't going to complain if she does put on some weight, he'll be fine with it.

Speaking of weight and celebrities.  I saw a few celebrities  in person that were supposedly heavier and OMG, they were very thin.  I can't imagine how thin some of these people really are.

[JenE4]

16 hours ago, princelina said:

So when Sandoval wanted an "extra" themed party, I was thinking that I guess I'm old, and while I sort of understand it in a vague sort of way I really don't understand what "extra" means, and could not for the life of me figure out how I would dress for that party because I don't get the theme.

Then he tells us that it just means that whatever is "extra"ordinary about your style or self should be further exaggerated, and I think to myself that maybe I kind of get it . . . 

Then "Lala" and Raquel show up at the coffee shop in their outfits!  I get it - I finally get it! 😄😄 😄 

At first I was all OMG WHAT is Lala wearing?!? And then Raquel saunters in with her velvet bow and frilly romper and it dawned on me that they MUST be catching coffee on the way to the extra party. But, nope. This was just a regular afternoon out catching a cup of coffee!! Those outfits were more extra than anything worn to Sandoval’s extra party! I liked how all of the guys didn’t know what to wear. So they all just borrowed classic extra looks from Sandoval’s closet. Sandoval’s Beethoven look while snapping out the candles was better than the stilts look.

I thought for sure Dawg’s funeral was just an excuse for a swanky pool party, but Schwartz was genuinely upset! Either that or he—and Sandoval with his sympathetic shoulder—are better mactors than I thought.

[nytonc]

FI Sandoval can take his extra party and all his other ridic affectations and just go fuck all the way off! And take the ever so brilliant, but depressed, Ariana with him. 

[bichonblitz]

3 hours ago, watcherwoman said:

Jax isn't going to complain if she does put on some weight, he'll be fine with it.

I highly doubt that. Jax is all about the superficial. He was complaining about her weight gain when they did that Kentucky spinoff show. He said all she does is sit on the couch and eat all day. He was really nasty about it and it pissed off Brittney's dad.  Then she lost weight. I think her weight fluctuates back and forth quite a bit. 

[tvfanatic13]

How did they keep straight faces during that “funeral”? That was..something.  Wow, Jax is really going after FI Tom in his talking heads. 

[The Ringo Kidd]

14 hours ago, Ubiquitous said:

I was thinking Rhoda Morgenstern.

I was thinking Mrs. Roper.

[geauxaway]

After ALL that, they didn’t even go on a honeymoon?  Or did I miss something.

[Thumper]

Just now, geauxaway said:

After ALL that, they didn’t even go on a honeymoon?  Or did I miss something.

Well, the wedding cost $100,000!!!!!!  😂😂😂

[LibertarianSlut]

2 hours ago, bichonblitz said:

I highly doubt that. Jax is all about the superficial. He was complaining about her weight gain when they did that Kentucky spinoff show. He said all she does is sit on the couch and eat all day. He was really nasty about it and it pissed off Brittney's dad.  Then she lost weight. I think her weight fluctuates back and forth quite a bit. 

Yes, and there is always the idea that sex can be counterintuitive.  People can get turned on by things just because they’re scandalous.  I think Miranda from Sex and the City said it best when she said, “I once masturbated to a bus boy who was rude to me.”

So, yes, Jax probably does jack off to all sorts of subversive and surprising elements, but I would think he would want his wife to be perfect from the vantage point of society.  Some guys even have the virgin-whore complex—they can’t fuck their wives, because they think they’re too pure for their penises.  I think Jax is a long way from that, but I don’t think he would be mellow if Brittney got much bigger, unfortunately.  Which is on him.  “For better or for worse” is supposed to mean something.  

I don’t think Jax would divorce Brittney if she ballooned up, especially if she had his kids, but I think he’d be that asshole at a party muttering behind a sweaty drink about what a fat-ass his wife is, sending her home early in an Uber, and fucking the 100-lb, barely 18 cocktail waitress in the bushes to compensate.  He’s not good enough of a person to get a clean divorce.  Just the impression I get.  

[hoodooznoodooz]

“I’m getting sleepy. Do you want to just finish- -?”

”Do you want to finish in the morning?”

”Already thinking alike.”

Wow! Did you see that? It’s like they can read each other’s minds. I got chills.

[hoodooznoodooz]

I am kind of impressed that Raquel appeared on camera at Vanderpump Dogs looking like that, no makeup, a huge, recently-popped pimple glaring at the world. But she looked ill, like she needed a blood transfusion or something.