S07.E13: Can I Get a Witness

[JocelynCavanaugh]

Tania constantly telling us how edgy she is, is about as useful as Mike Sequim constantly telling us how tall he is — but at least he’s not wrong!

Tania and Syngin’s wedding was depressing garbage. W H Y IS HE WITH HER? He could get a nice woman who enjoys life and treats him like a real person. His surfer-pirate gestures before the Holy Tattoo Ceremony were hilarious. Totally reminded me of all the good-hearted space cadets I’ve known who pathologically attached themselves to shrews. 

Maybe I’m mean but I don’t think Leo is cute. He’s a spoiled little loudmouth who interrupts everyone to say dumb “precocious” shit. That poor middle brother is the only one I can stand in the whole Annaverse.

Bryson, however, is super cute, and he seems to be much calmer since Anny has been there. She bugs me to no end, but I’ll give credit where it’s due: she’s a good stepmom. 

I’m still trying to decide which Bone Thug Robert reminds me of. Leaning toward 80% Wish Bone/15% Layzie Bone/5% Eazy-E. 

According to the previews for the Tell-All, the plural of “text” is “Texas.”

[kirklandia]

5 hours ago, b2H said:

When my hubby and I married, we were married on the farm I co-own in CT with daughter and son-in-law. 

My sister-in law and hubby went into town for had a justice-of-the-peace wedding, then threw a big party on their dairy farm.  Because, yes, had to milk the cows. 

Edited February 11, 2020 by kirklandia

[mittsigirl]

11 hours ago, PityFree said:

The marks on Angela’s chest are from a CO2 laser that her dermatologist used on her chest to get rid of all those age spots and wrinkles. I’ve had CO2 laser done on my face so I have a bit of experience with this. It took about a week for all of the little marks to go away on me. That tells me that Angela either got it done on her way to the airport or she’s not healing very well. You’d better believe I was advised to stay out of the sun and wear sunscreen—neither of which Angela seems to be doing. But then she is still smoking and that’s crappy for healing so her whole trip to the dermatologist was a wasted effort, in my humble opinion.

She probably also sleeps on her side. I just turned 60, have large breasts and sleep on my side, and am starting to get those gross chest wrinkles from sleeping that way. She needs to buy a silicone chest pad from Amazon, I put mine on for an hour in the morning and my chest wrinkles are then gone, but I have to do it every day. I try to sleep on my back, but it is so hard to change after all of these years. Guess if I was a really vain woman, then switching sleep positions would be so much easier! Seeing her chest scares me, and she is many years younger than I am.

[magemaud]

6 hours ago, TwirlyGirly said:

Is Tania responsible enough to think ahead to ensure neither Syngin or her mother could accidentally be harmed by her soapmaking supplies? Or, is it more likely she'll just casually leave stuff lying around and if someone gets hurt, say "Well, you should have known not to drink that!"

I can imagine Tania being dumb enough to store caustic chemicals in old Jack Daniels bottles 

[Guiltypleasure25]

I just can’t believe that any of these couples got married, they or their circumstances or both are so ill-suited.  I do have a little bit of a soft spot for Robert and Anny.  But his trick at the wedding was not cool.

[Mr. Miner]

It sounded like Robert said “I’ll love you until the day I leave this earff” 🙄

[ethalfrida]

Angela:  Micheal and I’s... (insert noun)

 

 

[magemaud]

2 hours ago, JocelynCavanaugh said:

According to the previews for the Tell-All, the plural of “text” is “Texas.”

or "tex-tizz" 

[Auntie Anxiety]

I wonder if the parents of Natalie’s godchild are rethinking their decision.

[magemaud]

36 minutes ago, Auntie Anxiety said:

I wonder if the parents of Natalie’s godchild are rethinking their decision.

I've been wondering why Openly Atheist Mike was chosen to be the baby's godfather. No wonder Natalie was upset to find out he doesn't believe in God. 

[magemaud]

Rewatching...Mama Tania looks like she’s been hittin’ the Jack already. 

Despite his “not a one night stand” comment, Synjin appears to have put a lot more thought into his wedding vows than Tania who was pulling them out of her ass while giggling at her cleverness  

 

[Spike]

54 minutes ago, magemaud said:

Rewatching...Mama Tania looks like she’s been hittin’ the Jack already. 

Despite his “not a one night stand” comment, Synjin appears to have put a lot more thought into his wedding vows than Tania who was pulling them out of her ass while giggling at her cleverness  

 

Kinda looks like Caitlyn Jenner there.

[SabineElisabeth]

One of my cousins is an "artist."  She got married in her parents' backyard, which had been completely transformed into a  beautiful, authentic Japanese garden.  Her wedding "dress" was a stunningly intricate silk kimono... matched with a pair of Sketchers she'd owned since grade school,  made from fuzzy yellow tennis ball material. They drove away in her 10 yr old minivan - her "dream" car she got when she was 16, after months of begging, as her parents were dead set on the idea of buying her a new 3 series BMW, as they'd done for both of her older brothers.  Had you suggested to her that any of this was outside the realm of the ordinary, she would've smiled politely, while being not quite sure what you meant.  And that, dear Tania, is what it really means to be "unconventional."  

[Hangin Out]

21 hours ago, hookedontv said:

Priorities.

She's so unconvential (gag) that she has to keep trying to prove it to everybody! 

Tania and Singin are no Pam Anderson & Tommy Lee....

OMG .. can you imagine her with a baby?  She’s so nuts, who knows ??????

[Mrs. Hanson]

13 minutes ago, Silver Bells said:

OMG .. can you imagine her with a baby?  She’s so nuts, who knows ??????

She will give him or her a really weird name with an even weirder spelling then get pissed that no one pronounces it correctly.

[Baltimore Betty]

11 hours ago, kirklandia said:

then threw a big party on their dairy farm.

So they could party till the cows came home?  Heh, heh, thank you ladies and gentleman, I'm here all week!

[AZChristian]

13 hours ago, Neurochick said:

I don't mind tattoos (don't get why so many people have issues with them?  Is it an age thing), but they're not the first couples who have had tattoos done on their ring fingers, move on.

In my experience, it's not necessarily an age thing.  I got my first tattoo at 60.  My artist told me that a LOT of people coming in for tattoos are in their 60s and 70s.

It may be that a lot of people are just reacting to the toxic personalities of folks who flaunt their (sometimes offensive) tattoos . . . or other "unique" aspects of their personality.

11 hours ago, magemaud said:

I can imagine Tania being dumb enough to store caustic chemicals in old Jack Daniels bottles 

Right after she takes out large insurance policies on her mother and Syngin, she'll "store" the bottles on the kitchen counter.

Well, hello . . . It's Keith Morrison time!!!!

[Hangin Out]

1 hour ago, SabineElisabeth said:

One of my cousins is an "artist."  She got married in her parents' backyard, which had been completely transformed into a  beautiful, authentic Japanese garden.  Her wedding "dress" was a stunningly intricate silk kimono... matched with a pair of Sketchers she'd owned since grade school,  made from fuzzy yellow tennis ball material. They drove away in her 10 yr old minivan - her "dream" car she got when she was 16, after months of begging, as her parents were dead set on the idea of buying her a new 3 series BMW, as they'd done for both of her older brothers.  Had you suggested to her that any of this was outside the realm of the ordinary, she would've smiled politely, while being not quite sure what you meant.  And that, dear Tania, is what it really means to be "unconventional."  

That’s such a nice story.  She was surrounded with all the things that meant so much to her.  Speaking of, my last kid just left the nest.  I’ve converted his room into my “Mom Cave”, with all the things I love.  Newly painted, new carpeting, new bed, t.v. Old fashioned chaise lounge, a vanity I’ve always wanted to sit down and put my makeup on with mirrors, Victorian style.  There’s also sliding doors looking onto a patio.  I love it.  My husband laughs, but I catch him going in there to watch t.v.  We do visit each other when the mood strikes, lol.
 

[SabineElisabeth]

45 minutes ago, Mrs. Hanson said:

She will give him or her a really weird name with an even weirder spelling then get pissed that no one pronounces it correctly.

My artist cousin (referenced in my last post) has since had 2 kids. Both birth announcements have included pronunciation keys. Not even kidding.

[Baltimore Betty]

The minute we hear the happy couple are getting matching tatoos we know that relationship is doomed!  Think about it, historically as soon as the ink dries it is over...Tamra, (RHOC) got her first husband's name on her finger then got it removed, Sylvester Stallone married that tall blonde woman, she got his name on her ass, Tyga and Kylie, Chris Brown and Rihanna...relationships were over and even in real life there are tons of stories about people getting tattoos of their "soulmate's" name or photo then spend big bucks to transform them in to something else or get removed.  

We can only hope that Syngin, someday soon will be getting Tania's lame symbol removed from his finger.

[essexjan]

Of the four weddings we saw this week, Anny and Robert's was the nicest - in that it was in a nice venue, everyone seemed to go with the theme of red and Anny looked gorgeous. That said, she was marrying Robert, so that would have ruined the day for me if I was her.

But I think the wedding I'd have had most fun at was Tania and Syngin's. I can't stand her, but she did look pretty in her dress. I wish she'd chosen a different colour though. I liked the outdoor setting but the tattoos were just stupid and something to be regretted later. The vows, too, were ridiculous, particularly hers. But I bet it was a fun party.

Blake and Jasmin are a snoozefest. She is an ice queen and he pings my gaydar. Maybe that's what works for them, she gets the green card and he gets his mom off his back.

I fast-forwarded through Anna and Mursel's wedding, and I am also done with Sarah sticking her nose into her ex-husband's business.

Mike has definitely got something he's hiding from Natalie, but OTOH, she is also bat-shit crazy. Looking forward to the reunion next week.

[RealReality]

23 minutes ago, essexjan said:

Of the four weddings we saw this week, Anny and Robert's was the nicest - in that it was in a nice venue, everyone seemed to go with the theme of red and Anny looked gorgeous. That said, she was marrying Robert, so that would have ruined the day for me if I was her.

But I think the wedding I'd have had most fun at was Tania and Syngin's. I can't stand her, but she did look pretty in her dress. I wish she'd chosen a different colour though. I liked the outdoor setting but the tattoos were just stupid and something to be regretted later. The vows, too, were ridiculous, particularly hers. But I bet it was a fun party.

Blake and Jasmin are a snoozefest. She is an ice queen and he pings my gaydar. Maybe that's what works for them, she gets the green card and he gets his mom off his back.

I fast-forwarded through Anna and Mursel's wedding, and I am also done with Sarah sticking her nose into her ex-husband's business.

Mike has definitely got something he's hiding from Natalie, but OTOH, she is also bat-shit crazy. Looking forward to the reunion next week.

I wouldn't be surprised if Natalie mischaracterizes something or blows it completely out of proportion in an attempt to justify her behavior.  

Like Mike maybe dated someone when they were "on a break" or he went on a blind date or spent an hour on tinder after he got back from the trip where she told him she didn't love him and everything was shaky.  

 

Edited February 11, 2020 by RealReality

[SunnyBeBe]

20 hours ago, renatae said:

When she went into the bedroom with him, I honestly thought she was going to dress him, as he was seeming not quite up to the task.

I do think his lack of responsiveness at times, such as when Leo gave the toast, is because he is trying to figure out what is being said, and isn't being rude. He's just confused.

I'm among those who think maybe Mike did do something off camera that deeply upset Natalie and that she was telling the truth when she said that made her too upset to want to say she loved him. Yet, knowing her, he might have just farted in her general direction.

I'll reserve judgment on the Mike issue, but, Natalie has had no problem speaking her mind.  She was very eager to stress what what bothering her from the beginning....so, why would some indiscretion on his part be overlooked and kept secret, EVEN though she had ample opportunity to come out with it earlier?  It just seems very suspect to me.  Like something that someone came up with AFTER the fact.  So, why did Mike act so weird when questioned?  IDK.  Maybe, he's playing  along so he at least has some kind of storyline at this point.  If he has no storyline, then he wouldn't get a spot on the Tell All, right?  So much of what they come up with is fake, imo.  We'll see.......Regardless, of what Mike did or didn't do, I do NOT care for Natalie. 

[OnceSane]

2 minutes ago, RealReality said:

I wouldn't be surprised if Natalie mischaracterizes something or blows it completely our of proportion in an attempt to justify her behavior.  

This.  Because this is what a child does--and that's how she acts, like a child.  A spoiled child who never heard the word "no".

[Jeanne222]

I liked it when Suntan told her you were not just a one night stand!  I wonder how the guy she got drunk with in Costa Rica thought about that!  

My spell checker renamed him suntan!  Lol

I have tried to speak like Natalie!   Sssss   How does she do that!

[Mrs. Hanson]

29 minutes ago, Jeanne222 said:

I liked it when Suntan told her you were not just a one night stand!  I wonder how the guy she got drunk with in Costa Rica thought about that!  

All I could think of when Syngin said that was of my beloved late dad.  Had a guy ever said that about me, let alone AT OUR WEDDING he would have stroked out.  Then again, I wasn't rolling down the one night stands in the 80's, either.  (No judgment, it just was not my thing.)  I kinda lost some of my mojo for Syngin at that moment.

"I, Mrs. Hanson, take you, Mr. Hanson to be my more than a booty call.  I promise to call you when I am hammered and I promise we will both regret these tattoos someday."

38 minutes ago, RealReality said:

Like Mike maybe dated someone when they were "on a break" or he went on a blind date or spent an hour on tinder after he got back from the trip where she told him she didn't love him and everything was shaky.  

I agree.  He went on a coffee date and she lost her crap.  Why would he tell her?  Oy vay.

[Ijustwantsomechips]

14 hours ago, JocelynCavanaugh said:

I’m still trying to decide which Bone Thug Robert reminds me of. Leaning toward 80% Wish Bone/15% Layzie Bone/5% Eazy-E. 

My God, this made my day!  I’m thinking 60%Wish Bone/40% Flesh.  

[Spike]

Tania knows that they were meant to be because although she was denied entry to the bar where he was working she persisted until admitted.  Sounds like a bouncer’s nightmare.  What a romantic story for the grandkids about your belligerent granny.

[JocelynCavanaugh]

2 hours ago, Mrs. Hanson said:

She will give him or her a really weird name with an even weirder spelling then get pissed that no one pronounces it correctly.

She will almost certainly appropriate a religion or culture she read about on Woo-pedia. (Don’t look that up. Not a real site.) I could see her going with like a Bodhi or Siddhartha or Wounded Knee or some other “woke” shit that sets race relations back 60 years. 

”Syngin” is apparently a real name, based on a form of “Saint John,” so she may feel like she has to cancel out that icky Christian vibe with something like Damian or Mephistopheles. “Satanica” is cute for a girl.  

I would personally donate to their college fund if they gave their children names like Rebecca and James.  

[Spike]

29 minutes ago, JocelynCavanaugh said:

She will almost certainly appropriate a religion or culture she read about on Woo-pedia. (Don’t look that up. Not a real site.) I could see her going with like a Bodhi or Siddhartha or Wounded Knee or some other “woke” shit that sets race relations back 60 years. 

”Syngin” is apparently a real name, based on a form of “Saint John,” so she may feel like she has to cancel out that icky Christian vibe with something like Damian or Mephistopheles. “Satanica” is cute for a girl.  

I would personally donate to their college fund if they gave their children names like Rebecca and James.  

Hecuba.

[Dakisela]

1 hour ago, Jeanne222 said:

I liked it when Suntan told her you were not just a one night stand!  I wonder how the guy she got drunk with in Costa Rica thought about that!  

My spell checker renamed him suntan!  Lol

I have tried to speak like Natalie!   Sssss   How does she do that!

she speaks with her teeth clamped together like some sort of... I don't know what.  

[AZChristian]

1 hour ago, RealReality said:

I wouldn't be surprised if Natalie mischaracterizes something or blows it completely out of proportion in an attempt to justify her behavior.  

Like Mike maybe dated someone when they were "on a break" or he went on a blind date or spent an hour on tinder after he got back from the trip where she told him she didn't love him and everything was shaky.  

 

I bet Mike went out to a restaurant for pancakes with Beau instead of fixing them at home.  Oh - the HORROR!!!!  (But it would be enough to set off BSC Natalie.)

[kirklandia]

2 hours ago, Baltimore Betty said:

So they could party till the cows came home?  Heh, heh, thank you ladies and gentleman, I'm here all week!

Well, technically, the cows were already home - but I will give you this one!  For years, we gave them gifts featuring cow-themed puns, until they begged us to stop.

Put a cow on it!

[Mrs. Hanson]

Okay, Bellboy and Bellboy Junior:  I liked the red theme going on but he looked like the Jerry Lewis movie.  Anyone good at photoshop?  Good Lord Droopy Cheeks McGee - it is your WEDDING DAY - cheer up!  We all knew the "Wait up I can't do this right now" was a set up to something.  He ain't letting Four Times A Day Free Daycare Free Housecleaner go anywhere.  Brother Kevin was there but did not seem to see any of his NBA team.  Wonder if any of Robert's kids came?

Not a fan of "Here Comes the Bride"but that is just me, I guess.

Per the kid's names:  Stop with Aftyn, Kennedi, Jennyfer and company.

Edited February 11, 2020 by Mrs. Hanson

[Colfrmb2]

I confess that I tried to scan the crowd at Robert+Anny’s wedding for any kids who might be his offspring.  I felt pain in my heart when he said he had never been married before and how important an event/commitment it is.  Personally, I see children are forever and clearly he is no virgin or prude.  I hope his kids didn’t watch the show.

i don’t want to watch Angela leaping around on stage slapping her butt in a reprisal of her role on Maury Povich. But I know I will tune in...

I see Mursel as the babied, middle aged bachelor who lived at home with his aging parents doting on their only son telling him he is their “golden child”... wait, which country are we in?  Oh, and he demands that Anna treat him in the same manner. He will sit on the couch watching Turkish TV on her laptop with the occasional trip to the bee hives where he still does basically nothing.  The bees do all the work.

I am ready for the new season.

[Spike]

12 minutes ago, Colfrmb2 said:

 

I confess that I tried to scan the crowd at Robert+Anny’s wedding for any kids who might be his offspring.

 

I have a feeling they were all left behind in Brooklyn.  Maybe he thinks it’s harder to collect child support long distance.

[magemaud]

3 hours ago, Baltimore Betty said:

 

The minute we hear the happy couple are getting matching tatoos we know that relationship is doomed! 

 

Especially if they’re not soulmates 

[Zevious Zoquis]

Perhaps Natalie is going to roll with the idea that Mike hid his financial sitch from her and therefore she can't trust him.  I'm pretty sure whatever it is it's bullshit.  She didn't indicate there was any "secret indiscretion" of any sort when she was being all weird in the taxi on the way to the airport.  

The tell all looks like a good time.  Although I really don't think I need to see another Angela shitstorm.  Her act is old...

[Mldh598]

23 hours ago, renatae said:

When she went into the bedroom with him, I honestly thought she was going to dress him, as he was seeming not quite up to the task.

 

Did you see how in awe he was with the steamer though? His expressions were cracking me up when he was using it. LOL

[RoadFullOfPromise]

21 hours ago, b2H said:

The benefits of living in a small town (adjacent to Colchester) - the town clerk gave us her number and told us when the ceremony was all over, she'd meet us at town hall to turn it in.

 

Haha - my mom was the town clerk in my hometown in Connecticut and recently retired. All of this tracks completely 🙂

[RealReality]

46 minutes ago, Spike said:

I have a feeling they were all left behind in Brooklyn.  Maybe he thinks it’s harder to collect child support long distance.

Sadly, it probably is.  I don't know, but would suspect that his three other baby momma's haven't even bothered to get court ordered child support because he is poor.  Five kids?  On a warehouse job + Uber income?  It's probably not even worth the effort.  

[RoadFullOfPromise]

17 hours ago, Neurochick said:

I don't mind tattoos (don't get why so many people have issues with them?  Is it an age thing), but they're not the first couples who have had tattoos done on their ring fingers, move on.

The tattoos themselves aren’t the issue for me (I only have one but would get more in a heartbeat). Everything with Tania (and Syngin to some extent) is VERY. PERFORMATIVE. 
As a wedding guest I have no desire to sit there and watch the couple get tattoos. Do it before the wedding and then show them off during the ring portion of the ceremony. 

[RealReality]

29 minutes ago, Zevious Zoquis said:

Perhaps Natalie is going to roll with the idea that Mike hid his financial sitch from her and therefore she can't trust him.  I'm pretty sure whatever it is it's bullshit.  She didn't indicate there was any "secret indiscretion" of any sort when she was being all weird in the taxi on the way to the airport.  

The tell all looks like a good time.  Although I really don't think I need to see another Angela shitstorm.  Her act is old...

I, for one, would like to hear more about these "taxpayer rights" 🤣😂🤣😂 

But I totally agree, I think the tell all looks like some juicy drama!  I hope the host is allowed to ask really good questions.  

I wish Blake and Jasmine had missed their flight because they are so boring that there isn't anything I really want to know besides where he found his Dr. Huxtable ski mask and what exactly "occasional social media" even means 

Edited February 11, 2020 by RealReality

[Lemur]

4 hours ago, Baltimore Betty said:

The minute we hear the happy couple are getting matching tatoos we know that relationship is doomed! 

Do they get credit for it not being a face/neck tattoo?  No?  No credit?  Moving on ...

3 hours ago, Spike said:

Tania knows that they were meant to be because although she was denied entry to the bar where he was working she persisted until admitted.  Sounds like a bouncer’s nightmare.  What a romantic story for the grandkids about your belligerent granny.

Years from now, Syngin will look back on that story and wonder that maybe, just maybe, if that bouncer had felt like bodily removing a crazy drunk American, he wouldn't be in this mess. 

Edited February 11, 2020 by Lemur

[Mrs. Hanson]

24 minutes ago, RoadFullOfPromise said:

The tattoos themselves aren’t the issue for me (I only have one but would get more in a heartbeat). Everything with Tania (and Syngin to some extent) is VERY. PERFORMATIVE. 
As a wedding guest I have no desire to sit there and watch the couple get tattoos. Do it before the wedding and then show them off during the ring portion of the ceremony. 

I agree.  I have no tattoos, I have nothing against them but watching the two of them get them would have taken, I would think, an hour total.  That is a LOOONG time.  Even thirty minutes total would be long.  I agree - get them the day before and show them off at the ceremony.

[RealReality]

27 minutes ago, RoadFullOfPromise said:

The tattoos themselves aren’t the issue for me (I only have one but would get more in a heartbeat). Everything with Tania (and Syngin to some extent) is VERY. PERFORMATIVE. 
As a wedding guest I have no desire to sit there and watch the couple get tattoos. Do it before the wedding and then show them off during the ring portion of the ceremony. 

This is it.  With any normal couple your be like "aww, this is their big day" so they would be the center of attention.  But with the two of them you just know that they are both looking to win the competition for attention and it's annoying.  

You hit the nail in the head, everything with them is an over the top performance.  It would be so exhausting. 

[magemaud]

3 hours ago, Spike said:

Tania knows that they were meant to be because although she was denied entry to the bar where he was working she persisted until admitted.  Sounds like a bouncer’s nightmare.  What a romantic story for the grandkids about your belligerent granny.

Ironically, she was welcomed with open arms at the Costa Rican bar when she arrived with her pussy posse. 

[StatisticalOutlier]

18 hours ago, Neurochick said:

I don't mind tattoos (don't get why so many people have issues with them?  Is it an age thing),

Probably.  I'm old enough that they'll always be associated with sailors to me.

 

18 hours ago, Neurochick said:

but they're not the first couples who have had tattoos done on their ring fingers, move on.

But did they have them done as part of the ceremony? 

I guess that's how things are these days--in order to be unconventional, you have to do something that's actually crazy.

[magemaud]

3 hours ago, JocelynCavanaugh said:

She will almost certainly appropriate a religion or culture she read about on Woo-pedia.

Tania is probably on Wiccan-pedia (that's not a real site, either, but it should be.) 

[Pepper Mostly]

37 minutes ago, RoadFullOfPromise said:

The tattoos themselves aren’t the issue for me (I only have one but would get more in a heartbeat). Everything with Tania (and Syngin to some extent) is VERY. PERFORMATIVE. 
As a wedding guest I have no desire to sit there and watch the couple get tattoos. Do it before the wedding and then show them off during the ring portion of the ceremony. 

Agreed. I can barely sit through a wedding as it is--most of them are too long and boring. Imagine having to sit and watch two people get tattooed?? I hope the bar was open.

21 minutes ago, Lemur said:

Do they get credit for it not being a face/neck tattoo?  No?  No credit?  Moving on ...

Years from now, Syngin will look back on that story and wonder that maybe, just maybe, if that bouncer had felt like bodily removing a crazy drunk American, he wouldn't be in this mess. 

Hand tattoos are almost as bad as neck tattoos, though.

Seriously, those vows. "You're more than a one night stand" "I promise to call you when I'm drunk". Sigh. Pure poetry. Move over, John Donne.