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S07.E13: Can I Get a Witness


OnceSane
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12 minutes ago, hookedontv said:

Dead.

I'm still convinced she's drunk or on drugs 24/7. 

I read somewhere (here?) that she was angling for a spin off of "Look how zany we are!  We get along!  We co-parent!  Follow us on our wacky adventures and hope Michael gets a four door car!!"

 

12 minutes ago, Palomar said:

Her sister looks and acts much more normal than Jasmin or I should say at least tries to fit in.  Their mother seems more in the Jasmin mold as well. For a young girl to only have ambition to be taken care of her whole life is unbelievable!  

Aren't Finns progressive and forward thinking?  She is stuck in 1920, not 2020!

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3 hours ago, Alonzo Mosely FBI said:

It is possible their Dad is from Mexico and/or was someone she met there.  Their beautiful dark hair and skin and features could reflect that they have latino heritage. It is a stretch but a possibility their dad is no longer in this country

Anna has said that her sons are Italian on her side and Mexican on their father’s. I assume all three boys have the same father and he might never have been in the US. That would explain why he’s not in the boys’ lives. Leo might have been conceived when Anna went back to Mexico 

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14 minutes ago, Palomar said:

Her sister looks and acts much more normal than Jasmin or I should say at least tries to fit in.  Their mother seems more in the Jasmin mold as well. For a young girl to only have ambition to be taken care of her whole life is unbelievable!  

There are a lot like her. They have no desire to work, have any marketable skills, and expect to live in the castle for their entire life.

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4 hours ago, Alonzo Mosely FBI said:

 

Jeeez did I just watch TLC’s show Four Weddings ? I need to rewatch and come back with my ratings !!

 

If this was Four Weddings, I have no doubt Robert would have been  getting out of the limo at the end and they would have won a dream honeymoon cruise that docked in the DR for eight hours 

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15 minutes ago, greekmom said:

The reason I don't think that Mursel and Anna went to the courthouse to just get married was probably because they wouldn't have made it in time for their hours of operation.

Or it was the weekend.  If it wasn’t the weekend it was really rude to have a backyard wedding that started at 10 (she told the officiant 8 and later said they were two hours behind schedule) at night with huge lights for filming.

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3 minutes ago, RealReality said:

4. I wonder if the wedding favors were her hypothetical soap?  Can Tania use some of this hypothetical soap?

Emphasis on hypothetical. There's no way Tania would actually focus on anything for a prolonged amount of time. Except for partying in Costa Rica. She did focus on that. She really is a horrible human being. 

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6 minutes ago, hookedontv said:

Emphasis on hypothetical. There's no way Tania would actually focus on anything for a prolonged amount of time. Except for partying in Costa Rica. She did focus on that. She really is a horrible human being. 

When she wears the bright red lipstick in her ITMs she totally has Joker mouth.

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10 minutes ago, RealReality said:

It's very hypocritical for someone who believes in $15/hour minimum wage to basically expect free labor from her wedding guests.  That's not woke at all.

When I was planning my wedding from a little over two years ago, I was on a wedding board.  You would not believe the amount of people who said "Yeah, we are not hiring a crew to set up, my friends and family will set up, cook and bartend because they want to help.  No they don't, they want to sit, talk, dance and mingle.

"I, Tania, take you Syngin to not be my soulmate and to call you when I am hammered."  Who said romance was dead??

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2 minutes ago, Mrs. Hanson said:

"I, Tania, take you Syngin to not be my soulmate and to call you when I am hammered."  Who said romance was dead??

Presumably they will be living together and he will notice when she staggers in.  Not sure what the call promise was about.

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8 minutes ago, Spike said:

Presumably they will be living together and he will notice when she staggers in.  Not sure what the call promise was about.

True, but we all know there is another herbal conference she will attend.  In Costa Rica.  And bring back a "souvenir"  - being an STD or baby.  I will decide later.

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14 hours ago, SunnyBeBe said:

Honestly....I try to use good manners, especially special occasions like weddings, but if I were a guest and the couple announced tattoos as part of the ceremony.... I really think I’d leave.

I'd wonder where I'd gone so wrong in life that I was even invited to the wedding of two people who would do that.

 

11 hours ago, Nickieca said:

Yet his ex wife has a huge tear on her tatty leather old sofa tonight

I tend to give leather some leeway, since it can be pretty cool when it's old and worn, but that tear was a little much.  I was equally distracted by the electrical outlet on the wall right by Tania's head when she and Syngin were on the couch.  Classy.

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5 hours ago, Silver Bells said:

With all the craziness going on, Murcel is hungry?  Why didn’t he make a sandwich for the plane ride or buy some candy at the airport.  He could barely dress himself.  I think he’s a little boy in big boys pants.

 

When she went into the bedroom with him, I honestly thought she was going to dress him, as he was seeming not quite up to the task.

I do think his lack of responsiveness at times, such as when Leo gave the toast, is because he is trying to figure out what is being said, and isn't being rude. He's just confused.

I'm among those who think maybe Mike did do something off camera that deeply upset Natalie and that she was telling the truth when she said that made her too upset to want to say she loved him. Yet, knowing her, he might have just farted in her general direction.

Edited by renatae
Correcting muddled up statements.
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Guess who's back?  Lemur's back.  (I know, I know, you didn't know I was gone.)

2 hours ago, hookedontv said:

Priorities.

She's so unconvential (gag) that she has to keep trying to prove it to everybody! 

Tania and Singin are no Pam Anderson & Tommy Lee....

I said the exact same thing, though yes, they aren't Pam and Tommy.  Syngin hasn't broken her nose and there's no sex tape ... yet. 

1 hour ago, Spike said:

Jasmin looked even odder last night. I wonder if she had additional procedures in California.

All the fillers.  Jasmin had all the fillers.  Some times multiple fillers in places already filled.

As for her wanting to be a kept woman ... I hate to stereotype Finns like this, but I've met a couple who were like this.  I knew of one who was working on her third Masters degree and waiting for Mr. Right Enough to Marry to come along.  

51 minutes ago, hookedontv said:

Emphasis on hypothetical. There's no way Tania would actually focus on anything for a prolonged amount of time. Except for partying in Costa Rica. She did focus on that. She really is a horrible human being. 

She's focusing on how long she needs to make an actual effort with this marriage thing before she can ask Syngin for an open relationship.

9 minutes ago, renatae said:

I'm among those who think maybe Mike did do something off camera that deeply upset Natalie and that she was telling the truth when she said that made her too upset to be sure she still loved him. Yet, knowing her, he might have just farted in her general direction.

Maybe she hit up the torrents of "Ancient Aliens" and realized how incredibly, offensively dumb Mike is?  

43 minutes ago, Mrs. Hanson said:

When I was planning my wedding from a little over two years ago, I was on a wedding board.  You would not believe the amount of people who said "Yeah, we are not hiring a crew to set up, my friends and family will set up, cook and bartend because they want to help.  No they don't, they want to sit, talk, dance and mingle.

See, and this is why I used to tailgate weddings and show up *just* tipsy enough to ensure that none of my friends wanted my help.  

Edited by Lemur
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1 hour ago, Spike said:

Or it was the weekend.  If it wasn’t the weekend it was really rude to have a backyard wedding that started at 10 (she told the officiant 8 and later said they were two hours behind schedule) at night with huge lights for filming.

Truth of the matter is, if she wanted to make sure it got done on time, the officiant could have *gone with her to the airport*, did the ceremony for the paperwork and then redo the vows for the party later.  But alas, that's not dramatic enough ...

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5 hours ago, Silver Bells said:

With all the craziness going on, Murcel is hungry?  Why didn’t he make a sandwich for the plane ride or buy some candy at the airport.  He could barely dress himself.  I think he’s a little boy in big boys pants.

Oh, don't blame him for not bringing a sandwich. Mommy was probably too busy to make him one. Or he forgot it.

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17 minutes ago, Lemur said:

I'm among those who think maybe Mike did do something off camera that deeply upset Natalie

I've seen enough of Mike and his almost TOO even temper to feel pretty secure in my assumption that he didn't do anything at all to upset her. She said why she didn't feel comfortable saying she loved him - because they had been fighting so much. She didn't say, "You know what you did and why I feel this way," which I feel like she would've said if there'd been any real "bad thing" that he'd done. She still doesn't understand that refusing to say she loves the guy she accepted an engagement ring from IS a bad thing that she did to HIM. He's the one who did all the work to make that relationship happen - he traveled to Ukraine, he did the K1 paperwork. All of the financial and emotional investment has been on his part, so I'm firmly Team Mike on that. 

Quote

Yet his ex wife has a huge tear on her tatty leather old sofa tonight

Yeah, I couldn't keep my eyes off that tear. It made me think Sarah should be more worried about the future of her sofa than about the futures of her kids. Her kids seem to be in pretty good shape, but that sofa needs reupholstering, stat.

 

15 minutes ago, mytmo said:
1 hour ago, RealReality said:

1. I would have shown up two hours late because you know anyone stupid enough to show up on time was "voluntold" to help set everything up.

"Voluntold" FTW! Totally stealing that. 

 

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1 hour ago, hookedontv said:

I love Joquain Phoenix. What did he ever do to be pulled into this shitshow?   HAHAHAHA. 

I haven’t seen that yet.  I was thinking César Romero lol.

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2 hours ago, RealReality said:

It strikes me that I, who have not had the benefit of a month long herbal intensive in Costa Rica, have made more soap than Tania.  And my only education has been a book, online forums, YouTube and @TwirlyGirly

Thank you for the mention 😊

Thinking about Tania making soap and how her overall approach to life seems a bit... irresponsible...reminded me of something that happened to a member of one of the online soap groups I belonged to years ago. She told the story herself, as a cautionary tale, so I know it was true.

She had mixed up her lye and water in a large drink pitcher and left it on the kitchen counter. Her husband, who had been working out in the yard that day, came inside for a drink, grabbed a glass, some ice from the freezer, and poured what he thought was water from the pitcher into the glass and took a long, long, drink.

Yes. Burned his mouth. His throat. His esophagus. His stomach. 

He almost died.

She told the story to impress upon the rest of us how important it is to always prominently mark the caustic chemicals used in soapmaking and never to use containers normally used for food/drinks to store lye or lye water - or leave them anywhere another person could accidentally mistake them for something else.

Is Tania responsible enough to think ahead to ensure neither Syngin or her mother could accidentally be harmed by her soapmaking supplies? Or, is it more likely she'll just casually leave stuff lying around and if someone gets hurt, say "Well, you should have known not to drink that!"

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13 hours ago, seasons said:

Angela and Darcy need to just go away. 

Never.  Angela and Darcy are the stars of this franchise.  They are going to take turns every season. Mark my words.

Of course Tania wore black. She always has to be different.  I find her rather tiresome. I don't know how her family and friends tolerate her.  

I wonder why Juliana didn't appear in this episode.  Could it be because she is now legally wed, she is calling her own shots?!

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1 hour ago, renatae said:

When she went into the bedroom with him, I honestly thought she was going to dress him, as he was seeming not quite up to the task.

I think he was expecting her to steam all his clothes.  The whole drama was annoying.  Bring the officiant to the airport, sign the license and mail it in.  I have had an officiant tell me you don't even need to say vows, just sign with two witnesses over the age of 16 (At least in Minnesota.) Have a proper, non rushed ceremony to renew your vows later.  

 

10 minutes ago, Adeejay said:

I wonder why Juliana didn't appear in this episode.  Could it be because she is now legally wed, she is calling her own shots?!

Mens don't control her.

 

1 hour ago, mytmo said:

I was offered the "job" of being MOH.

What is with brides treating their attendants like staff and wanting to "fire" them?  We had brunch with a newlywed couple (and they were not each 24, she is 40 and he is mid 50's) and she was going on about wanting to fire her MOH as she was not "stepping up" - like I thought your job was to maybe throw a shower and show up sober and dressed.  If someone asked me to be in her wedding I would be like, "What are the parameters?  Am I expected to dress shop?  Kiss your ass?  What???"

@mytmo - that is an awesome story.  I do not blame you for saying never again. I spent my adult life dodging being a bridesmaid - this is why!!  At some point I would have, honestly, left and gone back to my dinky motel.

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14 minutes ago, Mrs. Hanson said:

Bring the officiant to the airport, sign the license and mail it in.  I have had an officiant tell me you don't even need to say vows, just sign with two witnesses over the age of 16 (At least in Minnesota.) Have a proper, non rushed ceremony to renew your vows later.  

When my hubby and I married, we were married on the farm I co-own in CT with daughter and son-in-law.  Honeymoon was the drive from CT to Wisconsin, which would be my new primary residence, with a side trip to PA, where I grew up.  We married on a Saturday and were leaving on a Sunday, but had to turn in the official wedding license to the town.

The benefits of living in a small town (adjacent to Colchester) - the town clerk gave us her number and told us when the ceremony was all over, she'd meet us at town hall to turn it in.

And that's just what we did.

5 minutes ago, Silver Bells said:

Love Mystic.

Took dear hubby there in November.  Was disappointing because it was awfully expensive to get to the waterfront when not much was actually happening.

 

Edited by b2H
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5 hours ago, hookedontv said:

I agree with @seacliffsal. Jasmine saying she's never been to a wedding, doesn't know about weddings, etc. was a crock. And if that was the case, honey there's a little thing you might be aware of since you want to be an "influencer" - it's call the internet. You plug in the word "wedding" or "weddings in the US" and OMG, there's pages and pages and pages of information and photos. It's producer driven or in addition to her face being frozen by fillers, the chemicals have seeped into her brains and rendered them useless as well.

Tania was ridiculous. All of it. And if you have to keep talking about how "unconvential" and "different" you are -- you really aren't. She fills me with hate and rage. She had such crazy eyes during the ceremony too. And I mentioned this on the live thread - Mystic CT is a lovely, seaside community. Very picturesque and I know it well. It's about 45 minutes from Colchester CT. I don't know why they rented an AirBnB that looked like a split level house found anywhere in any community, they could have done that in Colchester. If you go to Mystic, you go for the charming downtown, water views, etc. 

Love Mystic.  We go there all the time and take the ferry from Long Island.

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42 minutes ago, TwirlyGirly said:

Thank you for the mention 😊

Thinking about Tania making soap and how her overall approach to life seems a bit... irresponsible...reminded me of something that happened to a member of one of the online soap groups I belonged to years ago. She told the story herself, as a cautionary tale, so I know it was true.

She had mixed up her lye and water in a large drink pitcher and left it on the kitchen counter. Her husband, who had been working out in the yard that day, came inside for a drink, grabbed a glass, some ice from the freezer, and poured what he thought was water from the pitcher into the glass and took a long, long, drink.

Yes. Burned his mouth. His throat. His esophagus. His stomach. 

He almost died.

She told the story to impress upon the rest of us how important it is to always prominently mark the caustic chemicals used in soapmaking and never to use containers normally used for food/drinks to store lye or lye water - or leave them anywhere another person could accidentally mistake them for something else.

Is Tania responsible enough to think ahead to ensure neither Syngin or her mother could accidentally be harmed by her soapmaking supplies? Or, is it more likely she'll just casually leave stuff lying around and if someone gets hurt, say "Well, you should have known not to drink that!"

Jaysus!  That's horrible!  I've gotten a granule of lye on me and it irritated my skin.  I cannot even imagine what the hell it must have felt like to drink lye water.   

When I'm soaping it's such a production that I couldn't imagine someone mistaking my lye water for drinkable water.  

But I could see Tania "creatively" skipping steps and handing friends and family soap with significant lye pockets, lye heavy soap, uncured soap, etc.  

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I think the majority of these couples have turned out to be  a wee bit boring so TLC had to manufacture wedding drama and stress to spice thing up. How many times did we see “I can’t do this” for instance 🙄

If Anna’s oldest son was not at the wedding ceremony, then that’s the saddest thing.
She’ll be supporting the twit Mursel for years Into to the future. No way he’ll run off once he gets the green card.  
 

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2 minutes ago, Adeejay said:

The Julia Roberts movie "Mystic" is a must see.  Made me want to go and visit.  

The pizza place too.  In the next town, Stonington, Meryl Streep & Tommy Lee Jones filmed there.  Very quaint and old fashioned, and I love it too.

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19 minutes ago, RealReality said:

Jaysus!  That's horrible!  I've gotten a granule of lye on me and it irritated my skin.  I cannot even imagine what the hell it must have felt like to drink lye water.   

When I'm soaping it's such a production that I couldn't imagine someone mistaking my lye water for drinkable water.  

But I could see Tania "creatively" skipping steps and handing friends and family soap with significant lye pockets, lye heavy soap, uncured soap, etc.  

For those who watched Breaking Bad I think it was lye that ate through the bottom of a bath tub and the floor below it, causing the tub to fall through the floor.

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1 hour ago, TwirlyGirly said:

She had mixed up her lye and water in a large drink pitcher and left it on the kitchen counter. Her husband, who had been working out in the yard that day, came inside for a drink, grabbed a glass, some ice from the freezer, and poured what he thought was water from the pitcher into the glass and took a long, long, drink.

Sounds like a Dateline!!!

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55 minutes ago, Mrs. Hanson said:

I think he was expecting her to steam all his clothes.  The whole drama was annoying. 

What an annoying scene and couple in general. Anna speaking in halting 3 word sentences as if Murcel would understand, something along the lines of "Married. Two. Hours." All complete with jerky hand gestures as if that would help. I mean are these people for real? I just find them infuriating. 

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10 minutes ago, hookedontv said:

What an annoying scene and couple in general. Anna speaking in halting 3 word sentences as if Murcel would understand, something along the lines of "Married. Two. Hours." All complete with jerky hand gestures as if that would help. I mean are these people for real? I just find them infuriating. 

Well the good news is they are both off the market now so they will be annoying with only each other.  

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4 hours ago, RealReality said:

She is a day drunk for sure. 

Its five o'clock somewhere, right Sarah?

Yes to this entire list.  Might I add that 

1. I would have shown up two hours late because you know anyone stupid enough to show up on time was "voluntold" to help set everything up. 

2.  I would have bounced after vows.  You know that food wasn't anything worth sticking around for and both of them are awful, so not a chance in hell I would have indulged their constant and compulsive need for attention by watching the tattoo ceremony or whatever.  

3.  It's very hypocritical for someone who believes in $15/hour minimum wage to basically expect free labor from her wedding guests.  That's not woke at all. 

4. I wonder if the wedding favors were her hypothetical soap?  Can Tania use some of this hypothetical soap?

It strikes me that I, who have not had the benefit of a month long herbal intensive in Costa Rica, have made more soap than Tania.  And my only education has been a book, online forums, YouTube and @TwirlyGirly

If you all have noticed, Tania doesn’t go by time.  Remember rushing to the airport?   She just giggles her way out of everything.  Weird trait.

Edited by Silver Bells
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40 minutes ago, SemiCharmedLife said:

Well, it is a shed, after all.

I am so distressed by the paint color I can’t see anything else.  That should be in a 14-year-old’s bedroom plastered with posters of droids.

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People get married in non-traditional dresses ALL THE TIME. Black, red, gold, pink, sundresses, pantsuits, suits, tuxes

God, aren't you tired of trying to be so special? You got married in a dress, it's a dress, the only statement you made with that dress is you presumably like that dress.

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Just now, John M said:

People get married in non-traditional dresses ALL THE TIME. Black, red, gold, pink, sundresses, pantsuits, suits, tuxes

God, aren't you tired of trying to be so special? You got married in a dress, it's a dress, the only statement you made with that dress is you presumably like that dress.

At least it was a well fitting dress!

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When I saw this, I immediately thought that this was something right up Tania’s alley. Maybe for her second marriage?

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-7988083/Bride-groom-expect-guests-sit-TIMESHARE-pitch-destination-wedding.html

@Alonzo Mosely FBI, your thoughts on Joey enlisting just to get away from his stoopid mother and Rain Man was spot on. He can be in the band! 🎺

No honeymoon for Michael and Juliana? I was thinking maybe something on a yacht. In Croatia.

Edited by Auntie Anxiety
Because I do know the difference between your and you’re
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I was entertained by these weddings, but am absolutely enthralled at next week's prospects.  What will be revealed???  What did Sequim Mike do to poor Natalie?  Who is Angela yelling at?? (My guess- one of the goofballs.)  Which couples are doing great and which relationships have imploded??  Will Jessie make an appearance??  (Yes, I know that there is no reason  for him to be there, but that never stopped him before.). Seven days is just too long!

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After this episode I'm wondering if Michael likes Julianna more to be a companion to Sarah than his kids. She needs tons of attention. Maybe Julianna is needed to be a friend to Sarah, and also maybe Michael wants someone to report back on her comings and goings without outright asking.

I'm pretty sure Michael and Sarah are doing it on the regular. She's trying to be the cool chick and not seem like it bothers her, but it does. 

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The reason I can't stand Tania is because she keeps telling us how unconventional she is, but people who are unconventional don't have to tell everybody they're unconventional. 

I don't mind tattoos (don't get why so many people have issues with them?  Is it an age thing), but they're not the first couples who have had tattoos done on their ring fingers, move on.

Tania wears a black lace dress to her wedding....oh, so unconventional, but it was a black lace dress over pink satin...not very edgy. I've seen brides wear dresses of every color, not just white or off white.

Tania thinks she edgy but she comes off basic.

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If a tree falls in the forest and only Tania is there to hear it fall,

she will burn the entire fucking forest to the ground to get your attention about how special and unique that tree was to her.

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