S14.E08: Namaste

[PrincessPurrsALot]

Quote

Zoey's Bollywood dance recital is right around the corner, but an unexpected injury may stop her from being able to perform. Then, Bill and Jen celebrate their 11 year anniversary, and to make it special, Bill has a few surprises along the way.

Original air date 2019.09.10

[sATL]

Bill's timeline of excuses is starting to bug me... what kind of tailor couldn't do the alternations to a man's sari in little less than 2 weeks? If tailor #1 is that booked , go to the next. Pay a little extra, if you have to for "rush" service. Two weeks is a decent amount time in the tailor department , given how the outfit is originally made. 

Edited September 11, 2019 by sATL

[MissT]

The dance recital was cute and it’s nice to see Jen’s brother was there.  

Jen’s mother acts like she has one child.  You NEVER hear them speak or spend a lot of time with her brother.    I would find it hard to compete with Jen as a sibling.   She’s obviously different and an over achiever.    Her mother mentioned she was glad to finally have grandchildren.  If I remember correctly her brother has children. 

Bill goes way over the top for everything.    The limo, etc. 

Edited September 11, 2019 by MissT

[endure]

I can't help it I have always cried at any of my niece or nephews concerts or recitals,  I wasn't expecting to at Zoey's but I did.  I thought she looked so beautiful and she did an amazing job too.  I wish they showed the others girls a bit more too.  I love how the parents try to enmesh the kids native cultures into their lives; it is obviously becoming important to Will and Zoey even at this young age.

[sATL]

Preview for next week. Jen Debbie Downer goes camping . 

Gosh  - I wish this woman could learn to let loose... not turn everything into a lesson about how cautious and potentially dangerous everything could be. Not everyone wants to hear from the Dr all of the time..

And if you detest camping that much - there is always the option to stay in a motel and let others attempt to enjoy the experience.

Speaking of which cub scouts do camp. How does she handle letting Will go to that outing ?

Edited September 11, 2019 by sATL

[BitterApple]

Zoey's recital was nice. I thought she did a great job and I hope she continues with the Bollywood dancing.

I love Judy's new haircut along with the dress Jen wore for her anniversary date.

Somebody really needs to educate the kids with regards to etiquette around food. I physically cringed when they were sticking their hands in the mixing bowls and double-dipping spoons. Will especially is way too old for that sort of behavior. I also wish Kate had corrected him after he demanded she bring him another avocado. She earns every penny of that nanny salary, that's all I have to say.

[humbleopinion]

Nice having Kate doing THs.

Long timers will remember her interview to watch and care for Will.

She was invaluable to the family in India when Jen got ill and Bill had to finish Zoey’s paperwork.

The kids listen and behave for Kate more than Jen.

[Kohola3]

Zoey looked like a little doll in her costume. 

Kind of a typical recital with no two dancers doing the same thing at the same time but that's part of the charm of that type of thing.  The parents see perfection and the rest of the audience gets a chuckle watching the kids.

[winsomeone]

I see Will hugging his father and grand father, and he often says sweet things to or about Zoey.  He just radiates happiness most of the time. Just the opposite is true with Zoey. Has she even bonded with any of her family? Most of the time she just looks mean and sad. She was taking dancing lessons with those girls for two months, and yet she acted like they were complete strangers to her? She asks everyone with darker skin if they were born in India. Will this child ever accept and like her white parents?

[Hpmec]

I second the comment that the children are too old to be playing with food. That was gross, and they ought to know better. The producers prod them to be precocious, but that was definitely over the top. 

[humbleopinion]

Kate at least tried to contain the chaos and asked Will to use the masher, Zoey to taste and put the spoon in the sink.... Jen would have just nervously giggled trying to control her OCD tendencies...

Guess Will got all the saliva guacamole and Zoey all the onion with salsa since they licked their fingers, hands, spoons and plunged them back into the bowls...ack!...

Judy is looking younger...the humid Florida weather and retirement agrees with her.

Nice to see Jen's brother at the dance recital...we saw glimpses of his family.

Production and the field producers encourage Zoey to talk and talk and talk to get enough content to knit together an episode but she is becoming a camera hog....

[lgprimes]

3 hours ago, winsomeone said:

Has she even bonded with any of her family? Most of the time she just looks mean and sad.

Interesting!  While watching last night I was thinking it was nice to see how happy Zoe has become, versus how suspicious she was toward them when they got her!

I think Zoe is MUCH smarter than Will, and more aware of and interested in her background. 

Will is a people person who likes to please. Zoe seems more independent. She doesn’t need everybody’s approval but I think she shows love for her family.

[Kohola3]

28 minutes ago, lgprimes said:

Will is a people person who likes to please. Zoe seems more independent. She doesn’t need everybody’s approval but I think she shows love for her family.

I have to agree.  And no one expects adults to all act the same way so why should children?  Plus we don't know how the treatment/nutrition/socialization of either child prior to adoption has an impact.  She's still very young.

There were so many comments in the first years after adoption of how Will would never get out of diapers and was so far behind and acted so much younger than his age and yet he seems like a normal boisterous kid.  Give Zoey some time and I bet when she reaches Will's age she will be quite different.

[retired watcher]

41 minutes ago, Kohola3 said:

I have to agree.  And no one expects adults to all act the same way so why should children?  Plus we don't know how the treatment/nutrition/socialization of either child prior to adoption has an impact.  She's still very young.

There were so many comments in the first years after adoption of how Will would never get out of diapers and was so far behind and acted so much younger than his age and yet he seems like a normal boisterous kid.  Give Zoey some time and I bet when she reaches Will's age she will be quite different.

Zoe is only a year younger than Will. They both act younger than their ages. Probably a combination of their size and developmental delays.

Wasn't it strange that Jen's mom said she didn't think she would ever be a grandma when she has other grandchildren? Does anyone know there ages?

[Kohola3]

42 minutes ago, retired watcher said:

Wasn't it strange that Jen's mom said she didn't think she would ever be a grandma when she has other grandchildren?

I believe that was in reference to Jen's inability to be pregnant.  They always knew she wouldn't have kids naturally.

[Twopper]

1 hour ago, Kohola3 said:

I believe that was in reference to Jen's inability to be pregnant.  They always knew she wouldn't have kids naturally.

I think that is what she meant, but not what she said.  I have erased the episode.  I remember hearing it and wondering if Jen was an only child.

I can't watch Will in the kitchen because I know he is going to be putting his hands in the food and then into  his mouth and back into the food.  At least Kate made Zoey put the spoon in the sink after she ate from it.

I did enjoy the dance recital;  I was concerned Zoey would miss too many rehearsals to participate after she hurt her foot.  

I don't know that I really want another full season of this show, but I think Jen and Bill enjoy doing it so much that I don't see them stopping the filming unless TLC axes the show.   I would definitely like updates each year and I would enjoy seeing them take Zoey to India when she is older.  I do like how they encourage the children to learn about their native countries. 

[CalicoskiesNC]

This show continues to be a bright, happy spot in my week. I don’t get all the criticism. I love how this family interacts with each other. Their love seems genuine. The kids have grown and gotten little personalities all their own. I think Will and Zoe have such a special bond, I love seeing siblings so close. Bill and Jen are great together, they live their own life and it’s a darn good one full of love and fun and happiness. They have earned it all themselves. Their home is GORGEOUS. I really like Jens style, even her personal style is very nice. 

This epi was fun. The Bali dancing looks like a blast!

[Absolom]

Ratings are in:  1.193 M viewers and a .20 rating. 

[readheaded]

3 hours ago, Twopper said:

I think that is what she meant, but not what she said.  I have erased the episode.  I remember hearing it and wondering if Jen was an only child.

I can't watch Will in the kitchen because I know he is going to be putting his hands in the food and then into  his mouth and back into the food.  At least Kate made Zoey put the spoon in the sink after she ate from it.

I did enjoy the dance recital;  I was concerned Zoey would miss too many rehearsals to participate after she hurt her foot.  

I don't know that I really want another full season of this show, but I think Jen and Bill enjoy doing it so much that I don't see them stopping the filming unless TLC axes the show.   I would definitely like updates each year and I would enjoy seeing them take Zoey to India when she is older.  I do like how they encourage the children to learn about their native countries. 

Jen has one brother who I think is quite a bit younger than her.  A couple seasons ago, her brother and sister-in-law had their first baby, a boy.  Jen and Bill were the godparents and the whole family was shown at the Baptism/Christening and also at the brother's house before and after.  I think he lives in NC (or at least did then), which is probably why he's not on the show more often.  I'm not sure if they've had another child since then.  Jen's mom seemed as comfortable at her son's home (she baked a cake with Will and Zoey in his kitchen) as she is at Jen's, which makes me think she's probably close to him, too.

[readheaded]

5 hours ago, retired watcher said:

Zoe is only a year younger than Will. They both act younger than their ages. Probably a combination of their size and developmental delays.

Wasn't it strange that Jen's mom said she didn't think she would ever be a grandma when she has other grandchildren? Does anyone know there ages?

Jen's brother, David, is younger than Jen (I think he's in his 30s).  He and his wife had their first baby, a boy in 2016, which was on the show.  I don't know if they've had any other children since then. 

[Sugarbaker]

6 hours ago, retired watcher said:

Wasn't it strange that Jen's mom said she didn't think she would ever be a grandma when she has other grandchildren? Does anyone know there ages?

Up until 2016, when David & his wife's 1st son was born, Will & Zoe were the only grandchildren. However, In that moment I think Judy was just remembering her lingering fears over her daughter's road to motherhood. Judy has had concerns most of Jen's adult life over if she would ever create the family she (Jen) desired.  

[Hpmec]

I remember when Jen and Bill were consulting a fertility specialist in Los Angeles. The doctor they saw was the son of my daughter's pediatrician from years ago. I think they would have liked to have a biological child, but since it wasn't in the cards, they are happy, fortunate, and blessed to have created a family with Will and Zoey. I like that they incorporate their children's cultural backgrounds into their lives, and I give Jen a lot of credit, especially, for overcoming significant challenges and obstacles to live the life she's living today. 

[BigBingerBro]

5 minutes ago, Hpmec said:

I think they would have liked to have a biological child, but since it wasn't in the cards, they are happy, fortunate, and blessed to have created a family with Will and Zoey.

Oh most definitely.  I binge-watched several seasons once and it goes from desperately trying for their own child (with lots of $$$ on treatments and tests), to considering state-side adoption, to overseas adoption.  I seem to recall there being an issue with them not being able to adopt a child in the US because they could not pass the safety requirements, therefore they were basically forced to do an international adoption.

[doglover3489]

3 hours ago, Absolom said:

Ratings are in:  1.193 M viewers and a .20 rating. 

Is that a good or bad rating?

[Sew Sumi]

It's down from the beginning of the season. Ratings then were around 1.5 M. 

Right now, they're pulling Duggar numbers, and that awful show is still in production. Don't be concerned unless numbers drop below a million.

[Honey]

11 hours ago, lgprimes said:

Interesting!  While watching last night I was thinking it was nice to see how happy Zoe has become, versus how suspicious she was toward them when they got her!

I think Zoe is MUCH smarter than Will, and more aware of and interested in her background. 

Will is a people person who likes to please. Zoe seems more independent. She doesn’t need everybody’s approval but I think she shows love for her family.

It's so nice to see the happy, secure little girl she's become.  She really does just radiate happiness, and I love her narratives.  Bill and Jen did the right thing by not allowing cameras for the first 3 months after they got her.  She was so insecure and untrusting in the beginning (unlike Will), they really have brought out a whole new child in her.

Regarding Will being a people person, and Zoey being independent, Will is like a dog, and Zoey is like a cat. Will likes to please other people, and Zoey likes to please Zoey.  They are both nice, well behaved kids though.

To the people (I'm not addressing you here, LGPRIMES) who think that Jen is uptight...I have to wonder how long you've been watching, because she is loose as a goose compared to how she used to be.  Haha. The old Jen never would have been covered head to toe with powdered paints.  

Edited September 12, 2019 by Honey

[floridamom]

Why does Zoe still suck her fingers? I thought that was gross. No one EVER corrects them on anything. Will is too old to be playing with avocados like they are Play Dough. It was disgusting to see, actually. No real respect for food, yet Will worships food and candy. I was glad to see the nanny TRY and teach them something in the kitchen about basic behavior when preparing a meal. Their parents should give it a try.

[camom]

I'm kind of glad that Jen was out of town when Zoey hurt her foot.  In the hospital Zoey was calm with Bill and his dad, but I have a feeling there would have been anxiety if Jen had been there.  I liked how Bill handled it.  Accidents happen, and he talked to Will about how to prevent it from happening in the future.  No big drama.

[RebeccatheWriter]

Zoey seems on track with exploration of who she is and why she and Will don't look like Mom and Dad. Kids all that have phase of exploration. It is more pronounced in children who are adopted internationally, disabled, or a minority of some type. My daughters are from Taiwan and both went through phases where they wanted to know that other people were from there too. They didn't necessarily reach out to make friends, but I would hear them as we were shopping or if we went to dinner. Anyone Asian got a second look from them.

We haven't seen Will question it as verbally on camera, but there were probably at least some discussions of it.

My friend is Irish and her husband is Thai. Their kids look more like him ethnically. They actually approached me one day and asked was I sad that I didn't look like them or my daughters. Kids ask questions like that. They want to know where they fit in with it and may ask questions or even participate in make believe to make sense out of it. For example, my friend's daughter was in her room playing with a Barbie one day. She was making grunting and moaning noises that were very loud and bordered on possibly inappropriate. My friend and I walked in and talked to her. She was acting out her Barbie giving birth to a baby because her mother had just had a baby. She was trying to make sense of the stuff on tv (mom screaming in pain about getting the baby out) and her mom leaving and coming back with a new baby. For a while anyone with a stomach got a stare and sometimes a question (that was reprimanded).   

The other week Zoey was asking about the orphanage. It is hard for young minds to comprehend things that are not exactly concrete to them. When I was younger I was upset to look at my parents wedding pics. It seemed horrible to me that I wasn't invited to what looked like a fun party. Never dawned on me that was before I was born.

[Kohola3]

4 minutes ago, RebeccatheWriter said:

My daughters are from Taiwan and both went through phases where they wanted to know that other people were from there too. They didn't necessarily reach out to make friends, but I would hear them as we were shopping or if we went to dinner. Anyone Asian got a second look from them.

Thank you for that personal insight.  Unless you are in that situation it's hard to imagine what goes through the mind of a child!  And, as said before, they are all different so while it might be a big deal to Zoey right now and Will doesn't seem curious, that might change completely for both of them. 

I am glad that Bill and Jen are proactive in introducing both foods and cultural activities.  I think we see more Indian things just because, at this point, Zoey is obviously curious.  Better to be honest and open than just brush off any discussion.

[beagletime]

22 hours ago, retired watcher said:

Wasn't it strange that Jen's mom said she didn't think she would ever be a grandma when she has other grandchildren? Does anyone know there ages?

Judy could be referring to the ages of Jen and Jen's brother when they had children.  Jen was in her late 30's when they adopted.   Jen's brother was in his 30's when he and his wife had their baby.  Judy loves being Grandma.  She was probably waiting for grandchildren.  In the christening episode Judy looked very comfortable at her son's home.  In one scene the whole group needed to leave and Judy was rocking and cuddling the baby.  I get the impression they get equal amount of time and attention.  Jen's brother may not want anything to do with being on tv.  

2 hours ago, RebeccatheWriter said:

Zoey seems on track with exploration of who she is and why she and Will don't look like Mom and Dad. Kids all that have phase of exploration. It is more pronounced in children who are adopted internationally, disabled, or a minority of some type. My daughters are from Taiwan and both went through phases where they wanted to know that other people were from there too. They didn't necessarily reach out to make friends, but I would hear them as we were shopping or if we went to dinner. Anyone Asian got a second look from them.

 This reminds me of my daughter's kindergarten friend.  His parents, grandmother and much older brother immigrated from China.  The youngest was born here in the USA.  One day when he came to play he saw my husband watching football.  He told my daughter "Chinese people don't watch football.  My dad doesn't watch football."  He was trying to figure how different looking people or people from different countries fit together.  Very normal for that age.

I like the way Jen handled the backstage question from one of the dancers.  How could Jen be so small and be older than the other parent?  To young children, adults are big.  Jen handled it gracefully.  It's a very normal question for a child to ask at that age.  

[libgirl2]

3 hours ago, beagletime said:

I like the way Jen handled the backstage question from one of the dancers.  How could Jen be so small and be older than the other parent?  To young children, adults are big.  Jen handled it gracefully.  It's a very normal question for a child to ask at that age.  

I did as well. She explains clearly and easily but doesn't speak down to the child. 

Edited September 12, 2019 by libgirl2

[CaliCannoli]

20 hours ago, doglover3489 said:

Is that a good or bad rating?

Lol...I was thinking the same thing.

[CaliCannoli]

I loved this episode! It was filled with family, love and support and I found myself smiling throughout. I even teared up watching Bill & Jen crying as they watched Zoey perform at the recital. I think Jen and Bill do an awesome job as parents and I loved seeing Zoey interacting with the saleswoman at the Indian boutique. They have allowed and encouraged her to question who she is and she obviously is finding pride in being an Indian-American. "Were you born in India? Me too!!" Lol...what a sweetie pie. But she always ends up running to her Mom and Dad and playing with her brother, just where she belongs.

On a side note, I loved Jen's dress in the scenes with her and Bill on their anniversary date. And her tiffany blue tote was so pretty. She has lovely taste. It was kind of shocking when I heard Jen say she was 45! It feels like just yesterday when I saw her celebrating her 40th! Time sure does fly. I loved Judy's new haircut/style! Its really becoming on her. Her eyes are so blue and that cut framing her face is very pretty.

Seeing Zoey injured was so sad. She's such a tiny thing. But I really respect that they didn't show what happened or anything intrusive in the ER. They obviously have their kids best interests at heart.

By reading some of the previous comments I see that some people didn't care for the episode or aren't interested in seeing another season. I couldn't disagree more! I loved this episode, its one of the best in several seasons and I hope to see this family for years to come. Or at least until Bill and Jen decide to stop filming. Its lovely to see how far Will and Zoey have come. And Zoey is a very talented dancer! She was adorable. And did you see that huge smile on her face when everyone gave her flowers?! She was in heaven.

Edited September 12, 2019 by CaliCannoli
Corrected misspellings.

[Honey]

11 hours ago, camom said:

I'm kind of glad that Jen was out of town when Zoey hurt her foot.  In the hospital Zoey was calm with Bill and his dad, but I have a feeling there would have been anxiety if Jen had been there.  I liked how Bill handled it.  Accidents happen, and he talked to Will about how to prevent it from happening in the future.  No big drama.

Jen is a doctor, l doubt she would have created additional drama.  We have seen Jen in the clinical setting, she has a very calm, reassuring bedside manner.

I don't know if the cameras were rolling when Zoey was hurt, if they were, I'm glad the footage wasn't shown.  I'm sure TLC would have loved to air it, so it would have been Bill and Jen who said "nope".  It would have been awful for Will to watch how he hurt his Sister.  I noticed that it was the same foot that Will tenderly kissed when they first got Zoey, and she was so traumatized after being taken from the orphanage.

[camom]

Quote

Jen is a doctor, l doubt she would have created additional drama.  We have seen Jen in the clinical setting, she has a very calm, reassuring bedside manner.

I'm sure Jen would handle it well, but I don't think she would have been as matter-of-fact about it as Bill.  Mainly I think that Zoey would have reacted differently.  

[Foghorn Leghorn]

Jen wasn’t that calm when dealing with Zoey’s bleeding head after falling on the  fireplace hearth a few years back...she appeared bewildered then and not in charge of the situation.  

[BigBingerBro]

52 minutes ago, Foghorn Leghorn said:

Jen wasn’t that calm when dealing with Zoey’s bleeding head after falling on the  fireplace hearth a few years back...she appeared bewildered then and not in charge of the situation.  

She massively panicked,  i remember how shocked i was, since she's shown as so cool and level-headed at the hospital.   I guess things are different when it's your own kid.

[readheaded]

5 hours ago, BigBingerBro said:

She massively panicked,  i remember how shocked i was, since she's shown as so cool and level-headed at the hospital.   I guess things are different when it's your own kid.

She was also a much newer mom then.  I think most of us moms get less freaked out about that kind of thing as we get more experience and our kids get older.  😊

[Libby]

When they went back for the second xray after the cast came off, I thought that Zoey was faking when she said that her foot was still hurting. She was limping, then walking fine, then limping again, then walking fine.

I think that Bill and Jen tend to be over dramatic about things. It was a kid's dance recital that Zoey might have had to miss. It would have been a shame, but not the end of the world.

[Kohola3]

2 minutes ago, Libby said:

It was a kid's dance recital that Zoey might have had to miss.

Your kid's first recital or first swim meet or first play or first party IS a big deal to both the parents and the kid. 

No, it's not the end of the world but missing any "first" is meaningful.  I know lots of parents have to miss things for various reasons but it's still hard for everyone involved.  I remember my dad having to work so missed some of my activities and that was 60 years ago! He always regretted it and I missed having him there.

[Kohola3]

9 hours ago, BigBingerBro said:

She massively panicked,  i remember how shocked i was, since she's shown as so cool and level-headed at the hospital. 

Wow, you've never worked the ER if you think that was "massively panicked".  Trust me, I've seen massively panicked.

She didn't stand around wringing her hands or run shrieking through the house screaming "call 911",  Yes, she was concerned but she gave appropriate aid and then they took the kid to the ER.  She could hardly suture it herself on the kitchen table.

[BigBingerBro]

nevermind, it's not worth it

Edited September 13, 2019 by BigBingerBro

[Libby]

I thought that Bill said that the reason that he and Will bought Indian outfits was because the whole family was going to dress in Indian clothes at the recital. I'm glad that they changed their minds and wore their regular clothes. I think that they would have looked ridiculous at the recital if they went with their original plan. In my opinion, it would have been a little over the top.

[libgirl2]

1 hour ago, Kohola3 said:

Wow, you've never worked the ER if you think that was "massively panicked".  Trust me, I've seen massively panicked.

She didn't stand around wringing her hands or run shrieking through the house screaming "call 911",  Yes, she was concerned but she gave appropriate aid and then they took the kid to the ER.  She could hardly suture it herself on the kitchen table.

I don't remember her being terribly panicked. I mean she was upset, that is her child, but she handled it well enough. 

[BitterApple]

2 hours ago, Libby said:

When they went back for the second xray after the cast came off, I thought that Zoey was faking when she said that her foot was still hurting. She was limping, then walking fine, then limping again, then walking fine.

I think that Bill and Jen tend to be over dramatic about things. It was a kid's dance recital that Zoey might have had to miss. It would have been a shame, but not the end of the world.

It seemed like even the first trip was exaggerated for the cameras. If Zoe was in severe pain she would've been screaming bloody murder. Instead she was laying in the bed, calmly eating a popsicle. Also, wouldn't filming in an ER be something that has to be arranged in advance? I can't imagine they just waltzed in there and were able to get waivers signed in a matter of minutes.

[Absolom]

3 hours ago, Libby said:

I think that Bill and Jen tend to be over dramatic about things. It was a kid's dance recital that Zoey might have had to miss. It would have been a shame, but not the end of the world.

For sure the show makes drama out of very little.  I was surprised when Jen was saying something like Zoey had been taking dance for quite awhile - 2 months.  That is nothing in dance and many studios wouldn't let a child start dance that close to recital.  Being featured on TV may have influenced the decision.  When Zoey was dancing at home she appeared to be following a video on the TV.  

[Foghorn Leghorn]

2 hours ago, Libby said:

I thought that Bill said that the reason that he and Will bought Indian outfits was because the whole family was going to dress in Indian clothes at the recital. I'm glad that they changed their minds and wore their regular clothes. I think that they would have looked ridiculous at the recital if they went with their original plan. In my opinion, it would have been a little over the top.

Agree it would have been well over the top and would have brought to light just how producer driven this show can be!

[BitterApple]

15 minutes ago, Foghorn Leghorn said:

Agree it would have been well over the top and would have brought to light just how producer driven this show can be!

I thought it was hilarious when Will firmly stated "I'm not wearing that" upon seeing the Indian tunics. Even a nine year-old has enough sense to know it was ridiculous.

[floridamom]

I hope I don't give the wrong impression here but when did this program become a cultural exchange program? I get it...Will is Chinese and Zoe is Indian. So what. End of thought. This show has lost it's original premise...how do little people navigate in a world designed for average height people? What physical/medical issues to most little people face and how do they make all of these things work for them day to day. Isn't that supposed to be what this show is about? It's about look at all the things we have and places we travel to when money is not an object! Obviously, most little people are not in the financial category that the Arnold-Kleins are in, so how to THOSE average-income little people do it? I'm a bit tired of it being pointed out that they like to eat Indian and Chinese food. etc. Get back to the basics with the show or go on and live your lives privately...sailing, traveling to Asia and all.

What about all the little people who need the surgeries that this family has had but can't afford them?