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RebeccatheWriter

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  1. Absolutely. On Callie's last birthday her message on social media from Gil was that she would be a good mom someday. The child actually has talent with the piano from what we saw on that one episode. Yet they have already started grooming her for her role as wife and mother. This season she was asked by the producer why everyone gives Lawson a hard time about being single and she said essentially that it was odd for him to be single at his age. Those aren't her own thoughts. She has been fed them over and over again by her parents and siblings. It's sad to me. They suck the potential right out of any of them to make them the perfect wives and husbands to carry on the family brand. It's sad to me that someone like Carlin seems to have only gotten the positive attention she craved from her parents when she found a man. Kelly Jo only seems to realize she had individual children and not just this nebulous 19 when they get married or have a baby. I saw the re-run episode the other morning where Kelly Jo and Whitney threw Carlin a party for graduating college. Mind you it was a thrown together after thought because her wedding was only two or whatever weeks away. Even it was thwarted for the gender reveal and pregnancy announcement for Whitney. No wonder Carlin is such an insufferable attention seeker. She and her siblings are ignored unless it is some occasion where Gil and Kelly Jo can rule the roost as the parents of 19. All of the girls are herded into Crown College with the only opportunities whatever Crown has on the roster. Want to be a doctor? An engineer? A lawyer? An actual teacher in public schools or accredited private schools? An accountant? Too bad. What about cosmetology, music ministry, or biblical education? Carlin left Crown for Liberty, but it wasn't as if she did it to actually do anything with her life. She did it so that she was more available at home and had an easier time of it with her traveling (read: filming) that was interfering with class time.
  2. It's not Carlin and Evan's stupidity that gets to me. We all know stupid people. We know people who cannot grasp even the most basic of concepts. The problem with these two is their blatant disregard for anything that doesn't "look cute." Carlin and Evan to some extent consistently refer to Layla and other babies and children as being cute. It is as though they can't fathom that a child might be smart, humorous, talented, etc. Yes, Layla is a baby and probably won't show any signs of talent, etc. However, how about coming up with some adjectives that describe her that aren't based on being cute? When my goddaughter was Layla's age, I was impressed with how well she gripped things and how she already had favorites. I called her smart because I saw her that way. The way they talk about Layla and their lives just continues to perpetuate the idea that they are simply playing house. They go out of their way to remain uninformed and ignorant to the world around them. I guess that makes them happier to be that unaware. It would drive me crazy. Carlin bucked the trend in the family and actually graduated from an accredited school - albeit one with a horrible doctrine and history of discrimination. She behaves as though she's never picked up a book in her life.
  3. I don't think they are either. They have some sort of belief about adornments (not limited to IBLP families). I just noted the earrings because of how strict they had been on such things in the past.
  4. I am glad they have a new pic and aren't using that tired one where he has his hand on her abdomen like he expects her to miraculously get pregnant again. Those are some big earrings for a woman in a family that didn't allow the girls to pierce their ears. I remember that Alyssa got her ears pierced after she got married and made a point of mentioning it on one of those Nightline stories.
  5. Tori has some actual skill in being a caregiver/mother. Granted some of the poses in the Smith family photoshoot they posted the other day are a little awkward. There is one where she is holding Kolter and Bobby is holding Kade. But from the angle it looks like Kade climbed up there and is about to put Kolter in a chokehold. We haven't seen yet, but I have a feeling that Tori may be a little like Michelle Duggar in that she loves the whole baby time but loses interest as the child(ren) age. Kelly Jo has this issue to, but less than Michelle. Kelly Jo loved being pregnant and having the baby (attention) and then it was pass the baby off to work on the next. She doesn't show interest again until they are older and she can harangue people into marrying them. Tori doesn't seem to have the most patience. That little bit of teaching we saw from her showed a woman who is annoyed at interruptions. How is she going to be with 6 or 7 kids under 7?
  6. Their excuse and that of the Bates too (usually) is that the woman supports the man's efforts and the man supports the family spiritually and financially. Therefore, if Jim Bob has his license then Michelle has hers to be of assistance to him. They wouldn't do something where Michelle had her own business and Jim Bob had his own that was different. The Bates girls seem to be a little more free in that line of thought. However, they still emphasize that their outside jobs not interfere with their child raising, housekeeping duties overall. As their families grow in size, I'm sure their outside projects will shrink. Most of us have to balance home and outside work to make things happen. It's the way life works. After I adopted my oldest daughter I was given the opportunity to present at a national conference with one of my heroes presenting after me. I agonized over that and ultimately chose to do the conference while my parents cared for my daughter. I felt guilty and sick about it, but I knew this wasn't an opportunity that would happen again. I don't regret it and don't see any issues arising from it now. I can't imagine that I would even have such a choice as a Bates or Duggar girl.
  7. From what Alyssa said on the show, the one issue (irregular) was fixed by the procedure that she had twice. A second issue is still an ongoing problem.
  8. I think fear is a large part of it. I also think that they have been raised to not question authority (parents, God, church, etc.). The idea of doing their own research is probably foreign to them. I suppose it is evident in the girls seemingly not associating their own risks with Erin's hereditary blood clotting disorder. They simply waited for Dr. Vick to tell them it was an issue. Many first time moms I know did all sorts of research prior to giving birth. They took birthing classes, asked the doctor or midwife questions at each appointment. They watched videos and read things. They knew what being breach meant or different ways of dealing with morning sickness. There were moments of fear for them, but they managed to quell most of that through finding the answers instead of relying on others. These girls seem to lack any sort of inquisitiveness that is a pretty natural part of existence. I've met people like that, but so far it seems that this entire family is that way. Some of this is for the show, but honestly the only thing I can remember any of them being inquisitive or curious about was when Erin seemed shocked that Michaela wasn't worried about the wedding night. The not questioning authority is probably a big part of Kelly Jo an Gil's ability to control them. Keeping them compliant and obedient means that they won't question the big things either - why do we have to sleep stacked up like firewood? Why don't we get to go to school and meet other people? Why does Kelly Jo not seem to do any work at all? Why do my brothers dress up like cowboys even past the age of 8? Why can't I go to a legit college and become X? Unfortunately it has made these young women like Carlin out to be mindless and obedient instead of having the ability to critically examine or question. Not every doctor is going to be like Dr. Vick with folksy ways of describing issues. Most doctors are too busy for reading minds. @cereality That is disturbing about Alyssa. I had the same procedure as Alyssa did. Granted mine was minor and no damage was found. I had some wonky readings on a stress test after I had fainted a few times. Mine turned out not to be heart related. However, between the first time fainting and that first cardiologist appointment, I was practically going to med school with all that I read. I wanted to know what it could be and what I needed to ask the doctor. When my first cardiologist (sweetest doctor ever) sent me to another for this procedure, I did research not only on the field of electro but on this doctor in particular. He was a jerk so I went back to original doctor and insisted on someone new. While it was scary, I wasn't going into it blind. With the jerk doctor I had maybe two minutes with him to ask anything. I asked and didn't get the answers I thought were appropriate. I knew of other tests and asked why not about those. From Alyssa's video, it sounds like she did none of that. My primary doctor can use big words too. I have often told him thanks but I am not an MD. I need him to explain it a little more simply. He always does. I am glad Alyssa did clear that up about the Bates early medical care being so inadequate. I had assumed it was and that the Bates only did the minimum to get by with that many kids. I too question if there was something with Alyssa or even any of the others that could have been missed because they didn't have any preventative or diagnostic treatment. There are episodes of the Duggars with the Bates where the Duggars infected the Bates with chicken pox and later the Bates gave the Duggars a respiratory illness with a high fever (meanwhile Josie Duggar was a micropremie and Jim Bob is feeding them over the counter meds out of the same cup on a field trip. Yes, children get sick and such illness spreads easily and quickly. There was just such a nonchalance about it when there were always babies around.
  9. They make me sad and frustrated at the same time. I am sad that they seem to have very little ability to cope with or understand their situation. At the same time, they are so vapid that it is annoying. Much of their ignorance is a choice. Instead of researching the best filters and special effects for their photos and videos, maybe they should spend that time researching about Layla's heart issue. It is undoubtedly scary when you or your loved one (child, parent, sibling, etc.) gets a diagnosis. My mother's doctors were concerned about congestive heart failure this week after she had some issues after her last chemo treatment. Yes, I prayed hard for her recovery. I also read everything I could. I questioned doctors and followed up with some of the research I had done. Thankfully her test results are better than expected. How do I know they are better? Because I did the research to find out what they should be and what they would be if there are a serious problem. I'm not expecting Carlin to become an expert. I am expecting her to put forth an effort to find out things and make good choices. Supposedly the kids were encouraged to volunteer at the children's hospital. They filmed Lawson there a few times. It can't be that hard for her to get a little real information and quit being the vapid little twit who carries her baby like a purse while doing a hair flip.
  10. Back in my reporter days I did a story on a man who was a pilot in the Korean War and had flown privately after that every weekend at least. He had a puddle jumper of an airplane. He was the sweetest old man and was given an award for having the most safe landings of any private license pilot in the state or something. I asked him about how they came to that award designation and he said, "because all of the others end up crashing and dying if they fool around too long."
  11. Many of the Bates kids have been blonde when they are babies, toddlers and elementary school aged. Their hair grows darker as they get in their pre-teens. Josie and Katie were both very blonde in their early pics, darkened, and now both are back to blonde with some chemical help. Erin's roots and eyebrows indicate the same for her. Addallee and Ellie were also very blonde when they were younger. I point this out because I had a red headed great-grandmother and a blonde grandmother. I was blonde with a bit of reddish tint as a baby. I became mousy brown by the time I was 2. Both of my parents have dark brown hair (well when my dad had hair). But in the sun you can still see faintly reddish tint to my hair sometimes.
  12. I hate this practice of the gigantic bows, bracelets, etc. The bows in theory shouldn't be a problem, but when they bedazzle them up, include glitter and stones, etc., it can present a true danger to the baby. Thankfully none of them have gone the Michelle Duggar route with the fake hair in pigtails that Jennifer, Jordyn, and Josie used to wear. I'm sure some of the over accessorizing will stop once these girls have 10 kids and no time to dress up the baby because they are expecting number 11 and the daughters aren't old enough to be much help yet. I think a lot of it is complete boredom on the part of the moms. The husbands are gone with their jobs and these ladies are at home doing something or doing their IG modeling. Even their "candid" photos and videos of the babies are horribly staged. Carlin has done multiple videos where she pans the camera over the side of the crib to show Layla (who is supposedly just waking up from a nap) in a pristine onsie in a perfect position, etc. My kids never woke up like that. One would wake up with angry sounding babble conversations with the mobile and the other usually had a diaper issue that would take priority over a video. Second, all of these girls (but especially those younger than Alyssa) don't seem to know what to do with a baby or how to be a mom. Tori, Josie, and Carlin weren't the older girls doing the child rearing. They had the Bates version of sister moms. It was primarily Michaela and Alyssa raising them with music lessons, etc. from Erin. They are in some ways still play acting what they think a mom is supposed to do with a baby. It may not register even to them that they are trying to be like Kelly Jo but they have nobody to hand he baby off to unlike her system. That's not to say that Michaela would be or Alyssa is a perfect mom. But it is interesting that in the talking heads/interview couch segments that everyone mentions missing their cooking, sewing, etc. Lawson, Nathan, and Trace even mention missing their favorite dishes that the two of them cooked. Zach mentions this too. However, nobody ever seems to list anything they miss about Kelly Jo other than generalities about missing being at home and still being a kid.
  13. Brandon is still pretty hardcore IBLP, but the guy clearly loves Michaela a lot. He takes one for the team a lot with putting up with her family. Unlike the other sisters' husbands, he's not the construction, plumbing, electrician, HVAC type. Instead, he's more artistic and almost cerebral from a fundy. Kelly Jo is pretty notorious about making her daughters do things others would find uncomfortable. In the first episode of the series, she hosted a baby shower for Whitney. Erin, who had been due around the same time, was called in to not only help with invites but plan, shop for, and host the baby shower games. Now she's hosting a shower for Carlin and wanting Michaela to do the food because all the other older girls are at home preparing for a babies or just had their own babies. I know these girls seem to let it roll off their backs, but that woman is incredibly insensitive. You are right that they aren't able to socialize outside their little circle. I remember watching one of the episodes where they were talking about Josie and Kelton talking. They said primarily they just talked about family and Bible verses. I guess it makes sense. What else do they know enough about to make conversation? I am guessing they watch television at some point and even some movies (based on things said and the presence of such items in their homes), but still they are pretty stunted. I can understand Carlin wanting to have attention in a family that large. It's natural. Heck, I'm an only child and I was annoying as crap when I was growing up because I never wanted to do my school work. I just wanted to talk to my teachers. I didn't even like the other kids most of the time because I was always around adults and thought kids were kind of dumb. There is just something about Carlin's over the top nature that is so fake to me. I never find her genuine at all. Michaela, Alyssa, Tori, Josie, Katie, etc. all have moments where they are not putting on an act and seem real - whether that is real annoyance over the clutter or noise or real affection. Erin and Carlin just seem to have a facade that screams out fake.
  14. I question that too. Let's say she had Dr. Vick and two nurses. That's three. Then you have Chad, Kelly Jo, Whitney, Tori, and Carlin. That's eight. Then you have at least one camera person and a sound person. In some cases they can use Carlin's footage (she was taking still shots) and Kelly Jo's footage from her phone, but some of the shots are clearly more professional than their capabilities would allow. So that would be 10. I know Gil, according to them, usually comes to the hospital but is in the waiting area for the actual birth.
  15. Whitney's have all seemed that way. I'm kind of in awe of her for that. I saw Whitney's mom there. But otherwise she had her husband, medical people, and her in-laws. I would strangle them. She also manages not to strangle Erin and Kelly Jo, which is amazing too. For a woman who can get seriously emotional at other times (vow renewal), I'm impressed with her on the labor and delivery side. Not downplaying Erin's issues with placental abruption, etc., but she seriously is hard to watch sometimes with this show. I feel like she wants the hospital to have stadium seating for everyone to watch her. I much prefer Alyssa and Josie's more lowkey approach of we'll call you after. I'm already dreading the drama that will be Carlin. Not that the pandemic has been good, but I am thankful that maybe we won't get the cheerleader experience for Tori's labor with the second K baby. Erin and Kelly Jo getting right up in Tori's face to tell her she was doing a good job would have been my breaking point.
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