Benjamin & Akinyi: Come On Down! You're the Next Contestant on "The (Bride)Price is Right!"

[Mrs. Hanson]

On 9/5/2019 at 2:17 PM, Miss Chevious said:

Your best bet is to call their bluff and make like you want to skedaddle. Pack your bags and head for the airport. That's when they'll be ready to negotiate.

I agree 100%!!  I would have told all of them, right off the bat, no I am not staying with brother Fidel and listening to his "You need me" bullshit.  I have a room at an Airbnb, thanks.  They should be kissing his ass for taking Akini out of object poverty - RUN BEN RUN.

[greekmom]

Judging from next week's previews I think Benjamin wants a madonna for a wife. Bikini wants to have fun.

[Joan of Argh]

On 9/11/2019 at 7:28 PM, Mrs. Hanson said:

I agree 100%!!  I would have told all of them, right off the bat, no I am not staying with brother Fidel and listening to his "You need me" bullshit.  I have a room at an Airbnb, thanks.  They should be kissing his ass for taking Akini out of object poverty - RUN BEN RUN.

That's the part of these shows that bugs me the most!

Why doesn't Ben stand his ground... Same with Tim and Cory.

She wants to come to America...  Why is Ben doing all this ridiculous groveling?

[Mrs. Hanson]

On 9/26/2019 at 12:32 AM, Joan of Argh said:

That's the part of these shows that bugs me the most!

Why doesn't Ben stand his ground... Same with Tim and Cory.

She wants to come to America...  Why is Ben doing all this ridiculous groveling?

Even though we can spoil, I am going to make a comment on Akini per the episode that aired tonight but still wrap it:

Spoiler

People may call bullshit on her getting so buzzed on one margarita, but I believe it.  Mr Hanson once had a girlfriend, who after two glasses of wine, was vomiting and sick.  So she basically never drank much, ever.  I have a relative who is really into health and fitness who last had a drink in 1986.  He had one Tequila Sunrise and the next day was sluggish, could not shake a headache and just said, nope, it worth it.  Perhaps she is a person that is super sensitive to it.  

[iwasish]

5 minutes ago, Mrs. Hanson said:

Even though we can spoil, I am going to make a comment on Akini per the episode that aired tonight but still wrap it:

  Hide contents

People may call bullshit on her getting so buzzed on one margarita, but I believe it.  Mr Hanson once had a girlfriend, who after two glasses of wine, was vomiting and sick.  So she basically never drank much, ever.  I have a relative who is really into health and fitness who last had a drink in 1986.  He had one Tequila Sunrise and the next day was sluggish, could not shake a headache and just said, nope, it worth it.  Perhaps she is a person that is super sensitive to it.  

I like a Mikes Hard Lemonade. After the second, I just want to crawl in bed and sleep. Had a Southern Mule in Longhorn Steakhouse and was glad I wasn’t driving . I can’t believe Darcy is able to watch herself after she sobers up and not be mortified. 

[Mrs. Hanson]

Just now, iwasish said:

I like a Mikes Hard Lemonade. After the second, I just want to crawl in bed and sleep. Had a Southern Mule in Longhorn Steakhouse and was glad I wasn’t driving . I can’t believe Darcy is able to watch herself after she sobers up and not be mortified. 

I totally believe you @iwasish!  Some people, like my hubby, can down it and get up and work 8 hours and not bat an eye.  (Not every night, mind you - but again, the man IS six foot seven!)   One of my late aunts once told me:  "If people could see themselves on film when they are drunk, they would never drink again."  I listened!!!

[RealReality]

I don't drink, just never have.  When I worked the front desk at a hotel I hooked a lady up with a free upgrade to a suite because she had a shit day.  She kept saying she wanted to "thank me" for helping her. 

Anyways, about half an hour later my supervisor brought me an orange juice from the lady, which I thought was nice, but a weird way to thank me.  I was thirsty so I gladly accepted and drank it up.  

I noticed it was a little sour, but figured it was just the brand of orange juice.  

Turns out, it was a screwdriver and I was drunk as a fucking skunk.  I hadn't eaten that day so it was particularly bad.  I kept trying to take off my clothes and I was dancing down the hallways, laughing at nothing.  Messy!!

[gingerella]

Why the hell is stupid BenjaMIN still sniffing round this Akinyi tree if he know she she isn’t into being a stepmother to his son? It’s like the same mental affliction that Tiffany has - their intendeds all but tattoo their intentions on their face and these two chucklefucks always retort with “I’m gonna have to really think about this one...” What is therthe to think about Ben?!. She doesn’t want anything to do with your kid so, yanno, go home and find some local church girl ffs.

[AZChristian]

9 hours ago, iwasish said:

I can’t believe Darcy is able to watch herself after she sobers up and not be mortified. 

I can't believe Darcy can look at what she's wearing in the mirror in her hotel room before she starts drinking and not be mortified.

[RealReality]

50 minutes ago, AZChristian said:

I can't believe Darcy can look at what she's wearing in the mirror in her hotel room before she starts drinking and not be mortified.

Glad we got you back!

I'm not convinced Darcy believes in full length mirrors.  I'm guessing she only does waist up mirrors and "checks" her look by taking filtered selfies.  

The sad thing is that she doesn't have a bad body and she isn't ugly.  She just isn't 20.  The outfits she has would even be questionable at 20.  At 44, it's a solid no.  

Or, as another poster kindly put it....

Edited September 30, 2019 by RealReality

[RealReality]

6 hours ago, gingerella said:

Why the hell is stupid BenjaMIN still sniffing round this Akinyi tree if he know she she isn’t into being a stepmother to his son? It’s like the same mental affliction that Tiffany has - their intendeds all but tattoo their intentions on their face and these two chucklefucks always retort with “I’m gonna have to really think about this one...” What is therthe to think about Ben?!. She doesn’t want anything to do with your kid so, yanno, go home and find some local church girl ffs.

Agreed.  She may say she is okay with it because she wants to leave, but she very clearly isn't ready or doesn't want to be a stepmother so I don't see why either of them are continuing on. 

Particularly Ben, who has a duty to Grayson.  

I don't know if they both figure Grayson won't spend a lot of alone time with akyini because he is in school and spends half his time with his mother.  I think this is terrible reasoning but I guess in some dream world this may pass as logic. 

Edited September 30, 2019 by RealReality

[iwasish]

6 hours ago, gingerella said:

Why the hell is stupid BenjaMIN still sniffing round this Akinyi tree if he know she she isn’t into being a stepmother to his son? It’s like the same mental affliction that Tiffany has - their intendeds all but tattoo their intentions on their face and these two chucklefucks always retort with “I’m gonna have to really think about this one...” What is therthe to think about Ben?!. She doesn’t want anything to do with your kid so, yanno, go home and find some local church girl ffs.

When he said that if Grayson and Akinyi didn’t get along, “ they would pray about it” “talk about it” and “ Akinyi will have to figure it out”. So much for Grayson being the most important thing in his lfe. 

[Bryce Lynch]

The latest episode revealed that Benjamin really is a sincere, Christian man, who wants to follow the teachings of the Bible and not have sex outside of marriage.  Bikini, on the other hand, seems to be a quietly rebellious pastor's daughter.   The way she talked about no man not wanting to have sex with her and it being "odd" that Benjamin didn't, strongly suggests she has been "on safari" with several men before, and her Dad doesn't know about it.  

I joked last week, that she might pull off her mask, and reveal that she is actually Darcey and Stacey's triplet.  Metaphorically, she kind of did.

I truly hope Ben moves on (and it seems like that is the direction it is heading).  I don't think Bikini is a terrible person, but she is not the Christian wife Ben is looking for and definitely not the stepmother he wants for Grayson.   It is good that she is being honest about her doubts about wanting to be a stepmother, but that should be a total deal breaker for him, and I sense it is.  

Ben seems like a good guy.  But, he needs to get these romantic fantasies aside and be more practical.  While it happens once and a while, I don't think God generally puts your soulmate on the other side of the world, especially when you don't really have the funds to bring her home with you.  

[Bryce Lynch]

5 minutes ago, RealReality said:

Agreed.  She may say she is okay with it because she wants to leave, but she very clearly isn't ready or doesn't want to be a stepmother so I don't see why either of them are continuing on. 

Particularly Ben, who has a duty to Grayson.  

I don't know if they both figure Grayson won't spend a lot of alone time with akyini because he is in school and spends half his time with his mother.  I think this is terrible reasoning but I guess in some dream world this may pass as logic. 

Unlike a lot of the other parents on these 90 Day shows, Ben genuinely seems to care about how his relationship will affect his son.  Unless Bikini has a change of heart or at least pretends to, I don't think he is going to propose.  

[Bryce Lynch]

7 minutes ago, iwasish said:

When he said that if Grayson and Akinyi didn’t get along, “ they would pray about it” “talk about it” and “ Akinyi will have to figure it out”. So much for Grayson being the most important thing in his lfe. 

I didn't have a problem with that.  I think he was saying that if Grayson did not immediately take to Bikini, they would all work together on the relationship.  As long as Bikini is willing to do that, it probably would work out.  It is pretty common for children to initially resent their parent's new boy/girlfriends or spouses.  

I think the problem is that Bikini doesn't seem all that enthusiastic about trying.  It seems more like the problem would be that she wouldn't like Grayson, or at least not the responsibilities he would bring.  That is a much bigger problem.  I think you can almost always get a young child to learn to love or like a kind, loving adult who wants to make it work. But, if the adult doesn't want the child in his/her life, that is going to be trouble.  

[AZChristian]

I live in the Phoenix area (as does Benjamin).  I used to work for a large company where I got to meet a LOT of young single women in an age range that would be appropriate for Benjamin.  

MANY of them would have more in common with his beliefs, parental responsibilities, etc., than Akinyi.  He needs to find a friend who will be honest with him and mentor him on social interaction.  

I had no problem with his fundamental beliefs (no drinking, no pre-marital sex).  There's just something inflexible about him that doesn't attract dating partners.  And if his first priority is his son, he should have established that during online conversations.  It seems that he would have saved himself a lot of airfare money, as he would not have pursued Akinyi (if she had been honest with him about her disinterest in being a step-mother).

[RealReality]

8 minutes ago, AZChristian said:

I live in the Phoenix area (as does Benjamin).  I used to work for a large company where I got to meet a LOT of young single women in an age range that would be appropriate for Benjamin.  

MANY of them would have more in common with his beliefs, parental responsibilities, etc., than Akinyi.  He needs to find a friend who will be honest with him and mentor him on social interaction.  

I had no problem with his fundamental beliefs (no drinking, no pre-marital sex).  There's just something inflexible about him that doesn't attract dating partners.  And if his first priority is his son, he should have established that during online conversations.  It seems that he would have saved himself a lot of airfare money, as he would not have pursued Akinyi (if she had been honest with him about her disinterest in being a step-mother).

My suspicion is that Ben was honest about Grayson and akyini "accepted" this information but Ben didnt really gauge her degree of interest or disinterest.  It's probably an awkward set of conversations, but it should be had before spending $1000s on a plane ticket and an Airbnb that you don't get to use for a while. 

[iwasish]

9 minutes ago, Bryce Lynch said:

I didn't have a problem with that.  I think he was saying that if Grayson did not immediately take to Bikini, they would all work together on the relationship.  As long as Bikini is willing to do that, it probably would work out.  It is pretty common for children to initially resent their parent's new boy/girlfriends or spouses.  

I think the problem is that Bikini doesn't seem all that enthusiastic about trying.  It seems more like the problem would be that she wouldn't like Grayson, or at least not the responsibilities he would bring.  That is a much bigger problem.  I think you can almost always get a young child to learn to love or like a kind, loving adult who wants to make it work. But, if the adult doesn't want the child in his/her life, that is going to be trouble.  

This is what concerns me. when he said AKINYI will have to figure it out, it seemed that he meant it wasn’t his problem but hers alone. If Akinyi really doesn’t want to be a step parent, Isn’t bonding with Grayson,  and Ben tells her to “deal with it “, who knows what she could do to Grayson. 

[Meowwww]

First, Ben can take several seats with his judgemental faces while Akyini was drinking.  She’s not going to pound them down around your kid, moron. 
 

Second, I am a stepmom and it’s HARD.  Even with my husband 100% on my side.  I wanted to reach through the screen and tell her don’t worry if Greyson likes you, worry about baby momma making things hard.  And ol’ Ben taking baby momma’s side.  Blah. 

[Bryce Lynch]

16 minutes ago, AZChristian said:

I live in the Phoenix area (as does Benjamin).  I used to work for a large company where I got to meet a LOT of young single women in an age range that would be appropriate for Benjamin.  

MANY of them would have more in common with his beliefs, parental responsibilities, etc., than Akinyi.  He needs to find a friend who will be honest with him and mentor him on social interaction.  

I had no problem with his fundamental beliefs (no drinking, no pre-marital sex).  There's just something inflexible about him that doesn't attract dating partners.  And if his first priority is his son, he should have established that during online conversations.  It seems that he would have saved himself a lot of airfare money, as he would not have pursued Akinyi (if she had been honest with him about her disinterest in being a step-mother).

I think his beliefs and commitment to actually following them, would be very attractive to a devout Christian woman.  

I don't think he is really that inflexible.  He was OK with Bikini ordering a drink, and said he hadn't had a drink for about a year, so he doesn't seem legalistic.  He just didn't like her being a sloppy drunk, and was (uncharacteristically) assertive in not ordering her another, without being a jerk about it.  

He was also OK with her staying at his apartment, but not in the same room.  That seems like a reasonable precaution to avoid temptation, without gong too far.  

I don't know what Ben and Bikini's online conversations were like.  But, I wouldn't be surprised if he said he didn't want to have sex before they were married, but she assumed he was just telling her what he thought she wanted to hear, or saying what a Christian man is supposed to say.   

It seems like Ben is the rare 90 Dayer who pretty much is exactly what he advertised himself to be.  

I agree that he could use a mentor to give him relationship advice.  Didn't he have a female friend from his church who was expressing some concerns about him traveling all the way to Kenya to try to propose to a girl he had never met?   

[Bryce Lynch]

22 minutes ago, iwasish said:

This is what concerns me. when he said AKINYI will have to figure it out, it seemed that he meant it wasn’t his problem but hers alone. If Akinyi really doesn’t want to be a step parent, Isn’t bonding with Grayson,  and Ben tells her to “deal with it “, who knows what she could do to Grayson. 

I didn't get that at all.  I got the impression he thought it would be a problem for all 3 of them to work out as a family, with God's help.   

I also got the sense that Bikini doesn't really want to try.  I don't hold it against her, as not everyone loves kids, and even fewer are willing to help raise other people's kids.  But, it would make her and Ben a poor match.

Did Bikini ever mention having children with Benjamin?  There doesn't seem to be much talk about it.  There is definitely a lot more talk about Angela trying to find someone to tote her one remaining, past its expiration date, egg for Mycull.   This makes me wonder if Bikini just isn't into the idea of raising children at all.  Again, nothing wrong with that, and I commend her for not pretending.  

[RealReality]

58 minutes ago, iwasish said:

This is what concerns me. when he said AKINYI will have to figure it out, it seemed that he meant it wasn’t his problem but hers alone. If Akinyi really doesn’t want to be a step parent, Isn’t bonding with Grayson,  and Ben tells her to “deal with it “, who knows what she could do to Grayson. 

I got this fear just from their conversation at the walking safari.  Not because of akyinis words as much as her tone and facial expressions.  She really seemed like she was hoping she could convince Ben to shuffle Grayson off somewhere.

It seemed, to me, like she knows Ben is really into her and finds her sexually attractive and she is maybe overplaying her hand. 

[Lily247]

1 hour ago, Bryce Lynch said:

 While it happens once and a while, I don't think God generally puts your soulmate on the other side of the world, especially when you don't really have the funds to bring her home with you.  

That statement is gold. 

[Lily247]

46 minutes ago, Bryce Lynch said:

I think his beliefs and commitment to actually following them, would be very attractive to a devout Christian woman.  

I don't think he is really that inflexible.  He was OK with Bikini ordering a drink, and said he hadn't had a drink for about a year, so he doesn't seem legalistic.  He just didn't like her being a sloppy drunk, and was (uncharacteristically) assertive in not ordering her another, without being a jerk about it.  

He was also OK with her staying at his apartment, but not in the same room.  That seems like a reasonable precaution to avoid temptation, without gong too far.  

I don't know what Ben and Bikini's online conversations were like.  But, I wouldn't be surprised if he said he didn't want to have sex before they were married, but she assumed he was just telling her what he thought she wanted to hear, or saying what a Christian man is supposed to say.   

It seems like Ben is the rare 90 Dayer who pretty much is exactly what he advertised himself to be.  

I agree that he could use a mentor to give him relationship advice.  Didn't he have a female friend from his church who was expressing some concerns about him traveling all the way to Kenya to try to propose to a girl he had never met?   

I think Benjamin is a very stand up guy, nerdy but nice and honest. He puts all his cards out there, his situation, and all that. But they are definitely not a match and he needs to look for a woman from his local church, Or maybe the church in the next town if he ran out of options. 

[greekmom]

2 hours ago, Bryce Lynch said:

The latest episode revealed that Benjamin really is a sincere, Christian man, who wants to follow the teachings of the Bible and not have sex outside of marriage.  Bikini, on the other hand, seems to be a quietly rebellious pastor's daughter.   The way she talked about no man not wanting to have sex with her and it being "odd" that Benjamin didn't, strongly suggests she has been "on safari" with several men before, and her Dad doesn't know about it.  

I wonder if Bikini isn't the rebel of the family.  That's why she brought Benjamin home and not someone more akin to daddy's taste. 

[Bryce Lynch]

16 minutes ago, greekmom said:

I wonder if Bikini isn't the rebel of the family.  That's why she brought Benjamin home and not someone more akin to daddy's taste. 

Bringing home Benjamin could be sort of like rebelling and conforming at the same time.  The fact that he is white makes it kind of rebellious.  But, I get the sense that, besides that, he is the sort of Christian man Father Bikini and the elders of the church would want Bikini to be with.  

I sensed that they really ate up his explanation that he believed God was leading them to be married.   I think that while he was awkward, he pretty much said all the right things, and he seems to believe those things.  

[Bryce Lynch]

It was kind of funny, that after Benjamin ate fish brains at Bikini's house, Bikini wouldn't touch the fish at the restaurant because it had oil(no, it's sauce!, no, it's oil!, no, it's sauce, no, it's oil!) underneath it.  

If I were Benjamin,, I'd tell her, "Oh, no dear!  I ate Fidel's nasty fish brains for you.  Clean your plate!"  😁

Edited October 1, 2019 by Bryce Lynch

[OldButHappy]

2 hours ago, Bryce Lynch said:

I joked last week, that she might pull off her mask, and reveal that she is actually Darcey and Stacey's triplet.  Metaphorically, she kind of did.

Only for men who see women as either virgins or whores.

[HunterHunted]

3 hours ago, AZChristian said:

I live in the Phoenix area (as does Benjamin).  I used to work for a large company where I got to meet a LOT of young single women in an age range that would be appropriate for Benjamin.  

MANY of them would have more in common with his beliefs, parental responsibilities, etc., than Akinyi.  He needs to find a friend who will be honest with him and mentor him on social interaction.  

I had no problem with his fundamental beliefs (no drinking, no pre-marital sex).  There's just something inflexible about him that doesn't attract dating partners.  And if his first priority is his son, he should have established that during online conversations.  It seems that he would have saved himself a lot of airfare money, as he would not have pursued Akinyi (if she had been honest with him about her disinterest in being a step-mother).

I don't think he'll admit it, but I think he has a fetish for Black women. An American woman is much more likely to clock it than Akinyi might be. And since he has not really displayed much interest in Akinyi's Kenyan culture, I suspect he might be the kind of the same with an African American woman.

[Bryce Lynch]

13 minutes ago, OldButHappy said:

Only for men who see women as either virgins or whores.

Ben seems to be looking for a woman, who like him doesn't believe in sex outside of marriage or getting drunk.  That is not a "virgin or a whore" standard., and he is holding himself to the same standard.

Calling her Darcey's triplet is obviously hyperbole.  But, compared to the way she sold herself to Benjamin, and after the way her family and church scrutinized Ben, there is a kernel of truth in it.

I don't really have a problem with Bikini getting drunk and having sex.  Those are her choices and her business.  

But, it seems a bit  like false advertising.  Almost like if a guy advertised himself as being like Andrrrei and Tim showed up.   Or a woman who is Darcy online and turns out to be Amish.

I don't have anything against Bikini, I just think they are a bad match.  As someone on reddit put it, "I think they could both do better."  

[OldButHappy]

3 minutes ago, HunterHunted said:

I don't think he'll admit it, but I think he has a fetish for Black women. An American woman is much more likely to clock it than Akinyi might be. And since he has not really displayed much interest in Akinyi's Kenyan culture, I suspect he might be the kind of the same with an African American woman.

Precisely.  And as long as he uses his, "I'm a good Christian man who is letting Jesus take the wheel" tactic, no one will question him.  Sadly, I know the type.  First hand.

[Meowwww]

10 minutes ago, OldButHappy said:

Precisely.  And as long as he uses his, "I'm a good Christian man who is letting Jesus take the wheel" tactic, no one will question him.  Sadly, I know the type.  First hand.

Not only that....but what if the fact that she’s from a poor family in a poor area in Africa will give him humblebragging rights at his church?  Adds to the attraction, I bet. 

[Lily247]

6 minutes ago, Meowwww said:

Not only that....but what if the fact that she’s from a poor family in a poor area in Africa will give him humblebragging rights at his church?  Adds to the attraction, I bet. 

I think thats a bit of a reach. He's pretty open about living on a very tight budget, that he even uses public transportation to get to work and apparantly rations out his meals (I saw him measuring out chips and a sandwich). I don't see him being smug, clueless is more the word to describe him. 

[Twopper]

54 minutes ago, Meowwww said:

Not only that....but what if the fact that she’s from a poor family in a poor area in Africa will give him humblebragging rights at his church?  Adds to the attraction, I bet. 

But is her family poor?  she seems to dress well as did her dad and the rest of the elders.   I wonder why her parents are Mary and John and she has an African name.  If that was ever explained, I missed it.  And her brother is Fidel as in Castro.   Just seems so odd to me.

[Gobi]

7 minutes ago, Twopper said:

But is her family poor?  she seems to dress well as did her dad and the rest of the elders.   I wonder why her parents are Mary and John and she has an African name.  If that was ever explained, I missed it.  And her brother is Fidel as in Castro.   Just seems so odd to me.

They may have been given these names for the show, it's been done before this. Michael's real name, for example, isn't Michael, and Chantel's name is not Chantel. Someone posted that Bikini's father is a hard core leftist and that Fidel is, indeed, named after Castro.

[Bryce Lynch]

38 minutes ago, OldButHappy said:

Precisely.  And as long as he uses his, "I'm a good Christian man who is letting Jesus take the wheel" tactic, no one will question him.  Sadly, I know the type.  First hand.

I do agree that Christians sometimes give God the "credit" for our questionable decisions, by fooling ourselves into think He is "at the wheel" when he might actually be trying to tell us to slam on the brakes. 

1 hour ago, Meowwww said:

Not only that....but what if the fact that she’s from a poor family in a poor area in Africa will give him humblebragging rights at his church?  Adds to the attraction, I bet. 

  I can't see this at all.  It's not like he's adopting a special needs orphan from Kenya.  If anything it might make some church members quietly wonder if he is a little desperate, to go all the way across the world to find a bride.  Marrying a pastor's daughter might give him a little church cred, though.  

1 hour ago, HunterHunted said:

I don't think he'll admit it, but I think he has a fetish for Black women. An American woman is much more likely to clock it than Akinyi might be. And since he has not really displayed much interest in Akinyi's Kenyan culture, I suspect he might be the kind of the same with an African American woman.

I'm not sure I would assume it is a "fetish".  Maybe a "type".  I don't think we usually say a guy who likes blondes or a woman who likes, tall, dark and handsome men has a "fetish".  I mean it could be, but I haven't seen any evidence of it.

That is not to say that chasing a "type" might not make people make questionable decisions, especially if that type is rare or where not too many people of that type would be interested in you.  It might lead to idealizing whatever person of that type is willing to date you, whether or not you are right for each other. 

[gingerella]

1 hour ago, Twopper said:

But is her family poor?  she seems to dress well as did her dad and the rest of the elders.   I wonder why her parents are Mary and John and she has an African name.  If that was ever explained, I missed it.  And her brother is Fidel as in Castro.   Just seems so odd to me.

It's very common throughout the African continent for those of Christian faith (ie: 'Believers') to have a traditional name - like Akinyi - as well as a 'Christian name' which is like Mary or John. I see it all the time. Many times people will use their Christian name with foreigners because they think it's easier for us to say those names, but I always like to use their traditional names because it's what most people go by on a day to day with local colleagues, friends and family. I'd bet good money that 'Akinyi' gets more action on her online dating profile than she would with a name like 'Mary', dudes like Ben aren't looking for Marys...

[iwasish]

6 hours ago, Bryce Lynch said:

I think his beliefs and commitment to actually following them, would be very attractive to a devout Christian woman.  

I don't think he is really that inflexible.  He was OK with Bikini ordering a drink, and said he hadn't had a drink for about a year, so he doesn't seem legalistic.  He just didn't like her being a sloppy drunk, and was (uncharacteristically) assertive in not ordering her another, without being a jerk about it.  

He was also OK with her staying at his apartment, but not in the same room.  That seems like a reasonable precaution to avoid temptation, without gong too far.  

I don't know what Ben and Bikini's online conversations were like.  But, I wouldn't be surprised if he said he didn't want to have sex before they were married, but she assumed he was just telling her what he thought she wanted to hear, or saying what a Christian man is supposed to say.   

It seems like Ben is the rare 90 Dayer who pretty much is exactly what he advertised himself to be.  

I agree that he could use a mentor to give him relationship advice.  Didn't he have a female friend from his church who was expressing some concerns about him traveling all the way to Kenya to try to propose to a girl he had never met?   

He had a very attractive female friend (white) that was talking to him in an episode or two.  She seemed very sensible and very nice. I think he just prefers black women. 

[Bryce Lynch]

1 hour ago, iwasish said:

He had a very attractive female friend (white) that was talking to him in an episode or two.  She seemed very sensible and very nice. I think he just prefers black women. 

I remember him talking with that female friend from church and thinking maybe those two should be together.  I remember thinking the same thing about Caesar and the female friend who was advising him in the same episode.  

[Arynm]

8 hours ago, Meowwww said:

First, Ben can take several seats with his judgemental faces while Akyini was drinking.  She’s not going to pound them down around your kid, moron. 

I did not like that he told the waiter that she could only have one drink. You are not her dad Ben, do not boss her around. I would have ordered 2 just to spite him. That really rubbed me the wrong way. The fact that he was right and she couldn't even handle one drink was beside the point.

[Mrs. Hanson]

8 hours ago, iwasish said:

This is what concerns me. when he said AKINYI will have to figure it out, it seemed that he meant it wasn’t his problem but hers alone. If Akinyi really doesn’t want to be a step parent, Isn’t bonding with Grayson,  and Ben tells her to “deal with it “, who knows what she could do to Grayson. 

That comment bothered me as no, Ben it is YOUR problem to figure out - how to facilitate this.  Don't dump her on him and expect magic to happen.  He needs to introduce her as a friend, not saddle her with full on stepmother.  But ya know what gang?  She will never set foot in the US as here is my prediction and I am not spoiling as I truly don't know.  Akini is not into Ben.  There is no spark between them.  She is not into being a stepmom 50% of the time.  She has no intention of leaving her family, friends and Africa.  She is going to have her sister or mom leak it to Daddy that she is with Ben at the apartment and Daddy will show up and kick Ben out of the country.  Problem solved.  Let Big Daddy do the dirty work and she comes off as the brokenhearted girl.

Per her drinking:  Do I think, if Akini were in the US would she day drink?  No. But when my kids were little I rarely drank as what if I need to drive them somewhere, like a hospital in the middle of the night?  Even if an ambulance came, I don't want to be hammered, lol.   When they were tweens and pre-driving age, I had to fetch them at 10 or whenever.  Was playing up the drunkness?  Maybe.  Maybe she really is a lightweight.   Maybe she was playing up the drunk so it would turn him off and break up with her.  

[DeeReynolds]

Finally dawned on me last night that Benjamin reminds me (looks wise) of Buster Bluth. Now I can't unsee it. 

[silverspoons]

I live in Utah and have seen a few never drinkers get very buzzed off one drink. I think the issue was her asking for more and more drinks. The lightweights I have seen are embaressed or asleep but not begging for more drinks? 

His concern about Grayson could be if one drink gets her that buzzed what if another mom comes over and wants a glass of wine with a meal (not something I would do but plenty do it) and she gets this out of control, not only for Grayson but as a future pastor's wife.

I guess following this couple is more interesting due to the lack of spoilers or SM telling us what happened (unless I missed something). 

[IllLitShips]

On 8/23/2019 at 2:32 PM, HunterHunted said:

I'm Nigerian-American. I was born and raised in the states. I was talking to some of my med school classmates about going to back to Nigeria to visit my grandparents who lived in Lagos. One of them asked me asked me about living in a tree and seeing wild animals. I told them the only wild animal I'd ever seen was the boa constrictor that ate my grandma's cat because one of the people in her complex had a bunch of exotic snakes and reptiles. The constrictor got loose. Lagos is a city with millions of people; it has 20 million people. Even back when I told the story, Lagos had like 9 million people. No one asks you if you've seen any Russian wolves in Moscow or koalas in Sydney.

I have a question for you about the bride price. The elders in Akinyi's church explained the reason behind it was biblical.  Was this a practice that existed before Christianity in Africa?

[Joan of Argh]

Ben seems like he's on a pretty tight budget...

He ordered himself a soda... Maybe he couldn't afford more than one drink for bikini.

I don't think bikini realizes how poor Ben is.... She seems to think all Americans have $$$$

[Bryce Lynch]

13 hours ago, Arynm said:

I did not like that he told the waiter that she could only have one drink. You are not her dad Ben, do not boss her around. I would have ordered 2 just to spite him. That really rubbed me the wrong way. The fact that he was right and she couldn't even handle one drink was beside the point.

She was already drunk, and I assume he was paying.  

[Bryce Lynch]

8 hours ago, Joan of Argh said:

Ben seems like he's on a pretty tight budget...

He ordered himself a soda... Maybe he couldn't afford more than one drink for bikini.

I don't think bikini realizes how poor Ben is.... She seems to think all Americans have $$$$

I think Ben ordered the Fanta because he doesn't usually drink.  He doesn't seem legalistic about it, like some Christians who falsely claim that the Bible forbids all drinking (it forbids drunkenness) and that Jesus turned water into Welch's Grape Juice.  But, alcohol doesn't seem to be a regular part of his life.

I agree that Ben is a lot less well off than Bikini and her family imagine, though.  I don't know how much understanding they have about alimony and child support.

[Hannah94]

Am I the only one is bored with this couple? I tend to zone off when they are on screen. 

[blubld43]

20 hours ago, HunterHunted said:

I don't think he'll admit it, but I think he has a fetish for Black women. An American woman is much more likely to clock it than Akinyi might be. And since he has not really displayed much interest in Akinyi's Kenyan culture, I suspect he might be the kind of the same with an African American woman.

Serious question. Is it automatically a fetish if Ben is simply attracted to Black women? I mean, we like who we like. I have always been attracted to a certain type of man lookswise, is that a fetish?

[Gobi]

27 minutes ago, blubld43 said:

Serious question. Is it automatically a fetish if Ben is simply attracted to Black women? I mean, we like who we like. I have always been attracted to a certain type of man lookswise, is that a fetish?

I think it can be, but most often is not. People have types: blond, brunette, red head, Asian, Latin, Black, White, whatever. I think it's a fetish or a  problem only when that is the only thing that attracts them to the person.  

ETA: Also, I think for it to be a fetish, it is something that you have to have.

Edited October 1, 2019 by Gobi