S04.E05: 99 Problems but a Chef Ain't One

[mytmo]

14 hours ago, PaperTree said:

I totally get how she is a ball of nerves, yet "getting off" on pulling it all together.  Then she kills breakfast, until the toaster catches fire.  oops!

Chef Mila probably left a steak in there

[langford peel]

15 minutes ago, LoneHaranguer said:

Since they are in France, the French food the guests could get onboard wouldn't equal what they could get on land, so they probably didn't include it in their preferences. They did include Mexican.

This might be true but in every other season the chefs tried to bring a local flavor to some of the meals. You have such a vast variety of dishes to choose from why not try to incorporate local delicacies into the mix? 

I really think Mexican food is a weird choice just as English steak and kidney pie would be too weird. Even though it was on their preference sheet. It just seems to me hat this show has been sponsored by “Old El Paso.”

[Natalie68]

14 hours ago, rustyspigot said:

Recording Artist Ashley. Where was New Jersey's Moolania's friends Tay Tay and Stephanie for that video shoot?

And XTina wants her look back from two decades ago.

And it looked like Mila stole some knives on her way out. Good riddance.

I was wondering about that.  Did she steal them or bring her own?  

[gingerella]

On 6/30/2019 at 11:04 AM, OnceSane said:

A recording artist

Well that's certainly using that term in the loosest sense! I would have said, 'A You Tube wannabe' but why split hairs?

ETA: They're in the South of France, where cuisine is very important to holiday goers. You probably couldn't swing a dick 1 meter in any direction without hitting someone who could sub in for a charter or the entire season in the galley! I mean fuck Sandy, pick up the goddamn phone and call your fav restaurant on shore and ask them to find you a chef, you'll be eternally grateful and bring all your charters to their place at least once a charter. It's called Using You Brain.

Edited July 2, 2019 by gingerella

[connieinnc]

I want to know what the dripping mess was that Anastasia pulled from a drawer(?) while cleaning the galley before the charter.

[dleighg]

23 minutes ago, connieinnc said:

I want to know what the dripping mess was that Anastasia pulled from a drawer(?) while cleaning the galley before the charter.

I got the impression it was a bag of veggies on a bed of ice and the ice had melted. Perhaps it had been forgotten by Mila?

Edited July 2, 2019 by dleighg

[biakbiak]

11 minutes ago, connieinnc said:

I want to know what the dripping mess was that Anastasia pulled from a drawer(?) while cleaning the galley before the charter.

It looked like salad greens that had gone bad. 

[Caseysgirl]

While I find Jack’s TH’s are very entertaining, it would irritate me to work with him. Also, he looks like he might smell bad.  Travis, on the other hand, until proven otherwise, is my favorite. Seems very open minded, helpful and attractive. But, we shall see. I’m still not believing Jao’s transformation.

[LoneHaranguer]

36 minutes ago, gingerella said:

I would have said, 'A You Tube wannabe' but why split hairs?

In googling this episode, I noticed her finished video from this show on reddit. All video and audio processing. Any reasonably attractive person with picturesque surroundings could have done the same (so it really was important to move the boat).

[dleighg]

Her finished video is right there on Bravo. Made me seasick.

https://www.bravotv.com/below-deck-mediterranean/season-4/episode-5/videos/ashley-brintons-good-mawnin-the-official-music

[OnceSane]

4 hours ago, queenjen said:

Mila needed to be told what a time wasting tip jeopardising asshat she truly is.

"Oxygen thief".  Thank you, Travis!

[langford peel]

40 minutes ago, connieinnc said:

I want to know what the dripping mess was that Anastasia pulled from a drawer(?) while cleaning the galley before the charter.

It was definitely veggies that turned soggy and unusable.

The degree of waste on these Charters is very upsetting. How much of that food is dumped at each meal. I can only hope that the crew gets the leftovers. It would really be a sin if they threw it away.

[dleighg]

Just now, langford peel said:

I can only hope that the crew gets the leftovers.

It looked like the (acting) crew was eating the left-over Mexican food.

[langford peel]

4 minutes ago, dleighg said:

It looked like the (acting) crew was eating the left-over Mexican food.

That’s great because I would hate to see them throw out that food.

[terrymct]

1 hour ago, langford peel said:

It just seems to me hat this show has been sponsored by “Old El Paso.”

Except that Anastasia said she made both her corn and flour tortillas.  Flour tortillas look easy, but it's tough to get the consistency right.  I've failed many times, even using a pre-made mix like White Wings.

[terrymct]

27 minutes ago, dleighg said:

Her finished video is right there on Bravo. Made me seasick.

https://www.bravotv.com/below-deck-mediterranean/season-4/episode-5/videos/ashley-brintons-good-mawnin-the-official-music

Dear lord, that's horrendous.

[AUJulia]

1 hour ago, dleighg said:

Her finished video is right there on Bravo. Made me seasick.

https://www.bravotv.com/below-deck-mediterranean/season-4/episode-5/videos/ashley-brintons-good-mawnin-the-official-music

I’m so happy for her for successfully fleeing the ghetto she grew up in. 

[Diane Mars]

2 hours ago, gingerella said:

ETA: They're in the South of France, where cuisine is very important to holiday goers. You probably couldn't swing a dick 1 meter in any direction without hitting someone who could sub in for a charter or the entire season in the galley! I mean fuck Sandy, pick up the goddamn phone and call your fav restaurant on shore and ask them to find you a chef, you'll be eternally grateful and bring all your charters to their place at least once a charter. It's called Using You Brain.

Yes. But no. The hired person need to be trained on boats & certified, AND pass the Bravo approval.... No as easy as it seems 😉

[PaperTree]

2 hours ago, dleighg said:

Her finished video is right there on Bravo. Made me seasick.

https://www.bravotv.com/below-deck-mediterranean/season-4/episode-5/videos/ashley-brintons-good-mawnin-the-official-music

That is horrible.  All that flickering made me queasy.

[ParadoxLost]

19 hours ago, howiveaddict said:

I feel like Captain Lee would be moving the boat, in the middle of the night, and then moving it again in the morning. He doesn't seem to do things for drama's sake.

I feel like Captain Lee would be moving that boat, but he would have

• not reassigned his lead deck hand to crew meals or
• would have found a deck hand for the charter or
• would have found some yahoo from the street that could make sandwiches for the crew so his lead deck hand wasn't doing it (or assigned Jack to sandwiches) or
• would have made sure the crew knew not to put out the toys if he was planning to move the boat or
• would have put the off camera crew on camera

so he wouldn't look like an idiot that doesn't know how to run a boat.

[dleighg]

14 minutes ago, ParadoxLost said:

would have made sure the crew knew not to put out the toys if he was planning to move the boat or

those guys had every right to be pissed off

[rehoboth]

5 hours ago, langford peel said:

That’s great because I would hate to see them throw out that food.

I was thinking about Below Deck when Kate had charge of interior and exterior for the evening and told that Ice Cream Eating Dick to put the leftovers into tupperware for the crew (and he threw them out!). Dick.

I hate waste and I think the Bravo elves have been hinting that Mila has been wasting a lot of food due to the many shots of crates of fresh fruits and veggies piled up in an alcove.  In such a small space, I doubt that Anastasia can know what is truly there until she has time to go through every nook and cranny.  I have no doubt that she will be throwing out a lot more bags of rot.  And I give her every benefit of the doubt because I don't think she's knows what's on board.

Chefs are trained to use everything to keep costs down which is why last night's short ribs and scallops comes out as part of the next days cup of seafood stew and short rib sliders.

[Kdawg82]

I'm glad to see Aesha is "picky about men." 🙄

[langford peel]

Just now, Kdawg82 said:

I'm glad to see Aesha is "picky about men." 🙄

She is also picky about her ass.

How else can you feel your poop?

[HunterHunted]

5 hours ago, langford peel said:

The degree of waste on these Charters is very upsetting. How much of that food is dumped at each meal. I can only hope that the crew gets the leftovers. It would really be a sin if they threw it away.

And this is why Chandler, bosun from the Mothership and BD: Med Jamie's boyfriend, is still one of the worst bosuns ever. He threw away most of a whole roast pig because he was pissed that he had to help the interior clean up.

[howiveaddict]

11 hours ago, queenjen said:

The guests are Bravo whores. They were last seen on Shahs of Sunset when Reza 'cut a lot of cheque' - I think it was 500k - without Adam's knowledge or consent. The Funsches were the people who manufactured Reza's Diamond Champagne Alkaline Silver Seaweed Hair line that is going to fund his and Adam's retirement. Remember them anyone? I remember thinking at the time what a freakin weirdo Mr Funsch is and there was a lot of talk about deserving the lifestyle and a big echoey tacky AF mansion that looked Sheree Whitfield furnished. We all knew that Reza wasn't going to see his 500k back as soon as we met the Funsches. We didn't get to meet tonedeaf daughter Funsch and the doctor son was probably chained up in the basement where he needs to be. For Hannah to run from a single doctor on a Super Yacht, he has to be emitting some weapon grade serial perv vibes. 

Maybe that is why I got an Asa vibe when that girl was performing for her video.

[langford peel]

1 minute ago, howiveaddict said:

Maybe that is why I got an Asa vibe when that girl was performing for her video.

That’s what Aesha got when she was feeling for her poop.

Maybe this rapper will also get to be a poop star!

[ParadoxLost]

1 hour ago, rehoboth said:

I hate waste and I think the Bravo elves have been hinting that Mila has been wasting a lot of food due to the many shots of crates of fresh fruits and veggies piled up in an alcove. 

More than hinting.  I was hoping for more than the pop up video style ep 1 rerun; but the funny thing I did note was that interspersed with Mila using boxes to cook was a blub that said something along the lines of charter was stocked with $24K to $25K of provisions the day before.  I'm sure it wasn't all food but it was placed in a way that was a rebuttal to Mila in my opinion.

[Emmeline]

9 hours ago, dleighg said:

Does anyone actually charter a boat for a day and a half or 48 hours? Or is that just BD world?

I read something a previous charter guest wrote stating that they were on the boat for three days but it was presented as one.  These were the fancy doctors from Houston that were supposedly swingers:

https://www.google.com/amp/s/blog.chron.com/coolkids/2017/08/05/prominent-houstonians-caught-in-scandal-on-bravo-tvs-below-deck-mediterranean/amp/

[zoltana]

8 hours ago, dleighg said:

Her finished video is right there on Bravo. Made me seasick.

https://www.bravotv.com/below-deck-mediterranean/season-4/episode-5/videos/ashley-brintons-good-mawnin-the-official-music

Whoa!  That was not good.  

[smores]

On 7/1/2019 at 9:28 PM, rustyspigot said:

And it looked like Mila stole some knives on her way out. Good riddance.

She took pretty much everything except the kitchen sink! She was in there packing forever and I've never seen anyone have that much stuff with them on a boat.  Also did anyone else see the trays of eggs in the corner of the stateroom when she was packing? She had food shoved everywhere!

On 7/1/2019 at 9:40 PM, ParadoxLost said:

Its odd how much Colin seems to dislike being there.  I wonder if he didn't really want to come back or if Travis/Jack are more awful than we've seen so far but it hit the cutting room floor because of Mila.

This is really strange and I do think that it's more on Travis and Jack because Colin gets along with everyone.  He was able to get along with Joao last year, he's laid back and does whatever is asked.  I can't see him having changed that much since last year.

On 7/1/2019 at 11:44 PM, LotusFlower said:

Oh the irony of Sandy talking about testing J-Wow’s leadership skills.  I’d like Captain Lee to come on board and evaluate Sandy’s.  I bet he’d give her a tip and a plane ride home.  

#Fail

#CameraWhore  

If you look on twitter you can see them talk to each other about the various episodes.  He is, unfortunately, a fan of hers.  

On 7/2/2019 at 12:06 AM, biakbiak said:

It’s not really that uncommon for people who work in certain aspects of the service industry and yachting to do it for the travel to have picked up a variety of jobs and skills. We have seen it in past seasons and there has even been some who had skills that we didn’t see. I bet anything that Travis took his job working on a cheap backpackers boat even though it paid next to nothing in order to be able to get his passage with room and board paid for and it’s super common. The turnover is high so if you have an outgoing personality, your there and your not afraid to let lack of skill experience stop you from doing the work a tons of these sort of jobs can be found. 

I know a few people (by that I mean, a few different couples), who decided to say screw it all to "the rat race" and bought sail boats, saved up and then set off to sail into the sunset.  That life is not for me, but it's kind of interesting to learn about the challenges with it.  That said, though, obviously you have to fund it somehow, and one of the things that the one couple did during their saving up phase was to get themselves prepared to do boat type jobs.  He has the ability to be a scuba instructor and also pilot other boats if someone needs their boat moved from one place to another.  She is certified in a few different types of exercise (yoga, pilates, etc), and completed culinary school.  They did a few other things as well, so while they are out and about they could be in port somewhere and maybe pick up a job for a bit doing something to supplement their savings here and there.  

Anyway. I could see this happening in other areas as well.

21 hours ago, Leia1021 said:

I don't know if Eric is "creeping" on Hannah. He actually looked embarrassed by his father's antics. He might not have had anything to do with the "proposition" his father made to Hannah.

I was surprised he just sat there and smiled while his dad said it, though.  I know that if either of my parents had done something like that to me I likely would have told the person to ignore my parent, that they are simply senile and evidently today wasn't the best day for me to have taken them on an outing.  (Yes, I'm sarcastic if you are being inappropriate about me in public. This is how my family rolls)

17 hours ago, dleighg said:

risotto followed by gnocchi? Love both but I think Marcela Hazan would be rolling in her grave. One or the other followed by a meat course is far more traditionally Italian (and less carb heavy besides). I know the gnocchi included pork belly but still....

And do people really eat dinner at 10:30 pm? I'd be a failure as a boat guest.

She's either vegan or vegetarian, though, isn't she? I wonder if that played a part in her not thinking about the doubling up on starches.

We do occasionally eat dinner that late.  As a kid we didn't have a set dinner time, we ate when my dad got home from work.  If it got too late (like approaching 9 pm or later), then we abandoned that rule, but generally, we would wait until he got home.  Now it's the same with my husband and I.  We eat when he gets home, if he is home at 4, then we'll probably eat around 7, but if he doesn't get home until after 9, then I'm having dinner at 10.  His schedule is just unpredictable. 

[psychoticstate]

Hannah whining about the extra work is typical Hannah.  Unless it's editing shenanigans, each time she seems to be whining about her extra work, she's polishing a glass or something, while Aesha is handling all the cabins, maybe with Joao's help, and Jack is doing laundry.  I get that Hannah needs assistance from the deck crew during dinner service but other than that, exactly how is she being put out any worse than anyone else?   I get that the stews have more guest interaction and often longer days (unless, of course, the boat needs to be moved in the middle of the night) but Hannah is fortunate that she's got a good deck crew that's pitching in and helping without complaint.  

Joao may be angling for one of the best bosuns to appear on this show.  So far, he's hardworking, pitches in where necessary and has a smile on his face.  

It was past time for Mila to hit the road.  I'm disappointed that the first female BD chef turned out to be such a clusterfuck.  Anastasia is holding up well, though.  Major kudos to her - - and I surely hope she's getting a chef's pay versus a third stew. 

So is charter guest Ashley a rapper like Love After Lockup's Lamar and Michael are "rappers"?  

[Giselle]

On 7/1/2019 at 8:28 PM, JennyMominFL said:

A lot of chefs have their own knives that they bring from place to place. They ca. be a really important tool and are kind of of personal..  But Mila didnt seem like much of a chef, so yeah, she probably stole them.

I'd bet she stole them. Just like that asshole Putin who stole Robert Kraft's first Superbowl ring.

Watching what's his name roughly peeling the yams with a spoon makes me think she stole the vegetable peeler too. 

[dleighg]

18 minutes ago, Giselle said:

Watching what's his name roughly peeling the yams with a spoon makes me think she stole the vegetable peeler too.

that sure looked like a tedious, difficult way to peel them.

[LoneHaranguer]

13 hours ago, zoltana said:

Whoa!  That was not good.

Not as a music video, but it's not bad for what it really is, dressed up shots of her on an expensive vacation. Calling it a music video probably gives them a tax write-off.

[langford peel]

10 hours ago, smores said:

This is really strange and I do think that it's more on Travis and Jack because Colin gets along with everyone.  He was able to get along with Joao last year, he's laid back and does whatever is asked.  I can't see him having changed that much since last year.

We only get to see a small portion of what goes on and I bet a lot of harassment of Colin is on the cutting room floor.  It is my experience that when there are three people in a group it always becomes two against one. (See last Seasons Below deck) 

Jack Off and Mangina Travis look at themselves as the cool kids and Colin as the bosuns pet. I bet they mock him unmercifully and bust his balls telling him that he is making them look bad by working hard and following Joao’s orders without complaint. I had lazy coworkers who did that all the time.

It is my guess that it is going to get worse if Joao tells them to knock off the sex jokes. There was a preview where Anastasia is weeping and saying that she can’t stand the rest of the crew because they are raging alcoholics. The two sane and normal crew members are very uncomfortable with this group.

I think this is a very troubled crew and we don’t know the half of it.

Edited July 3, 2019 by langford peel

[AUJulia]

I keep seeing anti-Sandy sentiment in these discussions. Can someone tell me what drives that?

[langford peel]

5 minutes ago, AUJulia said:

I keep seeing anti-Sandy sentiment in these discussions. Can someone tell me what drives that?

Her hair.

[AUJulia]

On 7/2/2019 at 7:27 AM, queenjen said:

The guests are Bravo whores. They were last seen on Shahs of Sunset when Reza 'cut a lot of cheque' - I think it was 500k - without Adam's knowledge or consent. The Funsches were the people who manufactured Reza's Diamond Champagne Alkaline Silver Seaweed Hair line that is going to fund his and Adam's retirement. Remember them anyone? I remember thinking at the time what a freakin weirdo Mr Funsch is and there was a lot of talk about deserving the lifestyle and a big echoey tacky AF mansion that looked Sheree Whitfield furnished. We all knew that Reza wasn't going to see his 500k back as soon as we met the Funsches. We didn't get to meet tonedeaf daughter Funsch and the doctor son was probably chained up in the basement where he needs to be. For Hannah to run from a single doctor on a Super Yacht, he has to be emitting some weapon grade serial perv vibes. 

Beyond obsessing over the phenomenon that is The Funsches at their leisure and especially poor Mrs Funsch and the lack of attention she receives, I think Anastasia did beautifully. As a cook, i felt for her and i think I'd have behaved like she did : the nerves, the unfortunate cockiness. Anastasia's response was normal. Mila was unnatural. The woman wasn't just 'not a chef' she is also not even a cook. 'What for to do with this calcium clad oval object i see sitting with 11 identical others, i wonder? '. 

Sandy remains unimpressive. Mila needed to be told what a time wasting tip jeopardising asshat she truly is.

Fun little aside re the Funsch clan: https://www.yolandaslittleblackbook.com/blog/2018/01/16/dan-sheree-funsch-house-hidden-hills/

[Mr. Miner]

Just seeing Chandler mentioned a few posts back reminded me I had not taken my HBP pills today. 😡

[HunterHunted]

29 minutes ago, AUJulia said:

I keep seeing anti-Sandy sentiment in these discussions. Can someone tell me what drives that?

Did you watch last season? I think she earned every bit of that criticism. She was nakedly prone to favoritism, unbelievably unprofessional on a number of occasions, and her fucked up criticism of Colin on Twitter is indefensible.

[100Proof]

On 7/2/2019 at 6:37 AM, Lizzing said:

Are the Hell's Kitchen editors running the cut of this episode?  I haven't seen this much risotto drama outside a Gordon Ramsay show! 

That setup was so over the top, I had to overdose myself with pain killers.

12 hours ago, smores said:

If you look on twitter you can see them talk to each other about the various episodes.  He is, unfortunately, a fan of hers.  

I'm not on any social media so I don't know what Capt. Lee's long standing opinion of Sandy is.  But I suspect that even if he couldn't stand her, professional courtesy would dictate.

I suppose if ever pressed for an opinion, and even if his mom taught him 'if you have nothing nice to say...',  that in itself would be a giveaway about not liking her so he couldn't get away with that.

Edited July 3, 2019 by 100Proof

[langford peel]

If I saw a Captain with greasy unkempt hair I would wonder what the engines looked like.

How come she can keep her hair extra greasy but not the anchor chain?

[100Proof]

3 minutes ago, langford peel said:

If I saw a Captain with greasy unkempt hair I would wonder what the engines looked like.

How come she can keep her hair extra greasy but not the anchor chain?

That ain't grease in Sandy's hair, it's KY

Edited July 3, 2019 by 100Proof

[langford peel]

If Captain Lee looked as dirty and unkempt as Sandy he would not be as respected as he is by crew and audience alike. He is always impeccably groomed even in the most trying times. This episode was particularly horrendous as “Call Me Captain” Sandy was sporting  a dirty shirt and very greasy hair. She is a mess.

[AUJulia]

46 minutes ago, HunterHunted said:

Did you watch last season? I think she earned every bit of that criticism. She was nakedly prone to favoritism, unbelievably unprofessional on a number of occasions, and her fucked up criticism of Colin on Twitter is indefensible.

I did watch. I guess I wrote off a lot as editing. I did not see her tweets about Colin (I love Colin).  Thanks for the insights. 

[langford peel]

I think one quick scene in this episode is very telling. Travis taunts Colin in the back of the car and asks him he wants to lay down with him.  Colin brush’s it off but I think there was a lot of taunting on this charter. Colin is in a no win situation as he is a nice normal guy who the girls always see as a friend and not as a love interest. So he plays the clown and goes home alone. 

It’s the assholes like Travis and the sleaze-balls like Jack who get laid. 

It happens every season.

[smores]

4 hours ago, 100Proof said:

That setup was so over the top, I had to overdose myself with pain killers.

I'm not on any social media so I don't know what Capt. Lee's long standing opinion of Sandy is.  But I suspect that even if he couldn't stand her, professional courtesy would dictate.

I suppose if ever pressed for an opinion, and even if his mom taught him 'if you have nothing nice to say...',  that in itself would be a giveaway about not liking her so he couldn't get away with that.

Captain Lee is pretty outspoken on twitter.  He tells people off and gets into some disagreements with them, so while I think he may be somewhat restrained with Captain Sandy as she's a colleague as far as the show goes, he has disagreed with her calls on some things.  I don't think he'd hold back and keep quiet just because, though.  

3 hours ago, AUJulia said:

I did watch. I guess I wrote off a lot as editing. I did not see her tweets about Colin (I love Colin).  Thanks for the insights. 

There were a few things Joao did last season that were really over the line.  I'm forgetting exactly what one it was, but Colin tweeted during or after that episode and said something along the lines of "That wasn't cool"  It was clear that he was still friendly with Joao, but he disapproved of that particular behavior and thought it was out of line.  He wasn't nasty, just, said it was wrong.  Sandy then retweeted Colin's tweet and scolded Colin for criticizing Joao, saying something along the lines of he's trying and it's unfair to trash someone who is working hard, etc.  

Now this year, when she's asked about his behavior towards Hanna or how he was when drunk last year, she's all "You have to remember, I didn't see any of this until it aired"  Which is fine, except she WAS seeing it when she decided it was ok to reprimand Colin for calling out something Joao did that was really screwed up.  

[biakbiak]

49 minutes ago, smores said:

ndy then retweeted Colin's tweet and scolded Colin for criticizing Joao, saying something along the lines of he's trying and it's unfair to trash someone who is working hard, etc.  

She went so far to say that his tweet could cause Joao to commit suicide.

[luvthepros]

On 7/2/2019 at 2:12 PM, dleighg said:

Her finished video is right there on Bravo. Made me seasick.

https://www.bravotv.com/below-deck-mediterranean/season-4/episode-5/videos/ashley-brintons-good-mawnin-the-official-music

What the hell what that??? I have a headache!!!