S14.E02: Auditions 2

[Commando Cody]

Quote

Variety acts of all types and contestants of all ages audition for the chance to win the $1 million prize.

[ams1001]

Didn't particularly like the coconut-smashing act but points for using the Piña Colada song to play them off.

Hey look, the GB went to a singer. Who started ten minutes from the end of the show. I'm shocked. 

Edited June 5, 2019 by ams1001
extra sarcasm

[mtlchick]

Joseph Allen was adequate at best.  And that gets a golden buzzer?  

Show, you're lucky Terry's energy and dancing pecs are keeping me around.  

[saber5055]

1 hour ago, ams1001 said:

Didn't particularly like the coconut-smashing act but points for using the Piña Colada song to play them off.

I couldn't even watch that act. I guess it went through. But I hope not.

What was up with the first guy who crawled through the toilet seat? THAT'S a talent? They X'd Monkey dancer last week and we didn't even get to see his act yet we had to suffer through this guy crawling through a tennis racket for 10 minites? WTH show. Talk about starting on a low point.

Actually, I thought most of this episode was a low point after enjoying last week. The kiddie Light Whatever their name is looked exactly like the adult Light Whatever their name was from before. Nothing different, same act, different faces (when the real lights came on).

I laughed at the last guy, the Golden Buzzer dude. He said he wasn't "the best singer" and Julianne said "It doesn't matter." WTH. I guess now singers don't have to be able to sing? Alrighty then. So this guy got a Golden Buzzer for ... what?

The Rockettes dancers I thought were interesting, I actually stopped to watch them, I liked that their costumes made patterns. I walked away when Howie started dissing them though, they aren't as good as the real Rockettes? Oh, Howie. I guess you're laughing all the way to the bank with the money TPTB are paying you to say that stuff to get the drama going. Good on you for following the script.

Meanwhile, I'm buying stock in double-sided tape if Julianne continues to wear that one outfit. "My eyes are up here folks."

Edited June 5, 2019 by saber5055

[ams1001]

2 minutes ago, saber5055 said:

Meanwhile, I'm buying stock in double-sided tape if Julianne continues to wear that one outfit. "My eyes are up here folks."

In the bits with the black dress she looks like she looked through some binoculars with shoe polish on them.

[saber5055]

9 minutes ago, ams1001 said:

In the bits with the black dress she looks like she looked through some binoculars with shoe polish on them.

Like that ancient practical joke, you hand your friend the trick binoculars and tell him/her to look at that guy across the street so he/she does. And the binocs leave two black racoon eyes on his/her face. Hilarious! Thanks for that memory. (Not that I ever played that trick but the Three Stooges did, a lot.) Yeah, that was Julianne.

[DietCokeJunkie]

17 minutes ago, saber5055 said:

The kiddie Light Whatever their name is looked exactly like the adult Light Whatever their name was from before. Nothing different, same act, different faces (when the real lights came on).

I was not impressed. It was a total retread from the parents’ act, and the parents set all of the effects up for the kids, I’m sure. So basically they came out and danced a little while their parents did all the behind the scenes work. They shouldn’t have gone through. 

[rr2911]

The rapper shouldn't have gotten the golden buzzer. He didn't nothing new or different. The only act I enjoyed was the creepy dude that had Gabriella on stage. The kids light show and the girl dance group were interesting also.

I guess AGT knows that by giving the golden buzzer to an unworthy contestant, it creates a buzz. The kind of buzz that the network and the show loves. This stirs debates, conversations. It keeps AGT relevant.

To the make up artist: Please stop painting racoon eyes on Julianne. She looks terrible!  

[Commando Cody]

I was surprised that they let Suitcase Boy finish his act. It also went on for way longer than a minute and a half.  It was weird and it was kind of amusing. It left me wondering what he would follow up with.  He already used the best song he could have possibly picked for his first audition. 

I'm not interested in the next 14 year old girl singer, but I think this was a good audition for her.

The all beige dance team wasn't very good. They kicked well and were in sync during that part. The rest of the dance routine was kind of sloppy.  At least one of the girls was off balance.  I had to agree with Howie.  I've seen better dance troops on this show. 

The three gratuitous shirtless guys produced a pretty good show of strength.  I don't think I have seen three hand balancers in one act on this show before.  It's cool that Terry Crews got to show some strength as well.  I think it's a little weird when the judges gawk at shirtless men on this show. 

The salt in the eyes seemed a bit excessive.  I don't like these kinds of acts. I don't like danger acts in general.  I don't need to see this act of blindly smashing coconuts ever again. The guy with salted eyes didn't even look like the salt irritated him. 

I haven't even seen what the act is yet, and I already don't like these five plugged in little girls.  They are probably already youtube stars.  The act needs work - mostly the singing and the dancing - but the song wasn't terrible - at least by the way it sounded. I couldn't really understand the words.  

I haven't seen the half man half woman act in a long time.  I kept expecting her to pull off some sort of vocal harmony with herself.  That would have been impressive.  She wasn't a good enough singer to make this act work. 

The red bearded comedian sucked donkey balls. 

These Light Balance Kids are from the Ukraine? They hardly had an accent.  I don't really get it. It just looked like Light Balance again.  I'm tired of them.  I would rather look at a different act. 

The rocking chair looked brand new.  He could have at least scuffed it up a bit.  The ghost act was a little boring. 

I figured on the golden buzzer because it was the last act of the night.  That's all I have on that one. 

[truebluesmoky]

The suitcase/tennis racket guy is Jonathan Burns. He tours the country, and I actually saw him live along with Mutts Gone Nuts, a dog act similar to some that have previously been on AGT. I actually hope he gets through more rounds, because the more you see of him, the funnier he is. The few minutes he got for an act tonight are not enough to really get what he’s all about. When he first came out on stage when I saw him live, I thought I was going to hate him, but I quickly became a fan. It’s a combination of his personality, his schtick of throwing confetti and seeming really pleased with himself, and the actual flexibility stuff he can do. I actually smile from ear to ear when I watch him. I’m sure he’s not for everyone, but I can’t get enough.

Were the little girls lip synching to a pre-recorded track? I guess that’s what most groups do who sing and dance at the same time, but it doesn’t seem completely fair.

Edited June 5, 2019 by truebluesmoky

[Vermicious Knid]

It's the Jonas Brothers of acrobatics. That takes incredible upper body strength, and now I want to see them on American Ninja Warrior.

Little girls are definitely patterning themselves after the Spice Girls. They're okay for 12 year olds but not great. GB was also not that great. The world's tallest policeman and his friends should really just go for a comedy routine and not this...whatever that was.

[DaphneCat]

2 hours ago, Commando Cody said:

The salt in the eyes seemed a bit excessive.  I don't like these kinds of acts. I don't like danger acts in general.  I don't need to see this act of blindly smashing coconuts ever again. The guy with salted eyes didn't even look like the salt irritated him. 

13 minutes ago, Vermicious Knid said:

The world's tallest policeman and his friends should really just go for a comedy routine and not this...whatever that was.

I can not tell you how much I hated this act.  There was obviously some trick - especially with the random "misses" where he only hit the floor.  If it goes wrong - I don't want to see some guy get maimed/killed.  Since it went right I thought there were way to many coconuts - it was really repetitive.

[Neet]

Jonathan Burns - Another act where the main premise is the guy embracing how gross looking/annoying he is, which is a huge pet peeve of mine because it's still gross and annoying no matter how self-aware or tongue-in-cheek it is. The contortionism was an afterthought in comparison because he was barely showing it off. He'd fit through a few objects and then soak up the unrelated music playing over top of his hammed up slinking around the stage leering at the crowd.

Benecio Bryant - I thought he was a girl for almost the whole audition since a lot of people without a "John Smith" name mumble it out when introducing themselves. Apparently, the 'humble coffee shop' front was an omitted truth, since he was the runner-up for The Voice Kids Germany last year. I didn't know that myself since my trivia knowledge of The Voice Kids Germany is embarrassingly low. (X Factor Seniors Bolivia is my niche) I can't remember anything about the performance, really, since most singers on AGT are formulaic and generally unmarketable.

Emerald Belles - How are these 25-30 year old looking girls in high school? Not exactly overcoming the stereotype of cheerleaders being dumb if they're still there, but seriously, they look old. I wonder how they'd fill a Vegas show out with 60 minutes of mostly kicking the air repeatedly, unless they collaborate with Nicholas Wallace to fight the ghost he swears is on the stage. Pretty repetitive stuff.

Messoudi Brothers - Writing compliments feels kind of facetious because that's not why I post anything, but it was a good act. They're obviously strong and clearly don't run on Dunkin' products to look like that. It was a different enough routine from the years of other strongman acts to not be total deja vu, though one has to wonder how long they can vary up the tricks to keep it interesting. It also seems weird how two of them had long hair that wasn't tied up in any way when they clearly need to see what they're doing when performing.

Karamjit & Krawijit Singh - Acts like this make me wonder if someone grinds up SSRI drugs into my food because I'm totally emotionless while watching, meanwhile everyone in the crowd is gasping and bulging their eyes out of their head. Even during non-lethal performances, I just find it weird how the audience is crinkling their foreheads and remarking "this fool crazy" out loud. I know there's not going to be a casting call for Ben Stein clones as audience members, but I don't understand how people either cover their mouths and flail around or scream at the TV. This type of act has been done before but the presentation felt pretty fresh. The guy hitting the ground with the hammer a few times amped up the suspense as opposed to nailing every coconut/watermelon in a row. Is it a correct assumption that he's opening his eyes through the salt to see the objects and hoping the $1,000,000 before taxes can pay for an ocular transplant?

GFORCE - This felt like Simon testing the waters for a new girl group and pretending like he's never seen them before, complete with every totally undiscovered girl already having their own nickname, ready to be plastered on lunch boxes and other crap. Simon asking each of them their names was probably because he concussed himself into memory loss to keep up the ruse of not knowing them. The man is dedicated, I'll give him that. Gabrielle shows her old age by claiming a song about breaking the internet should be played on the radio. 

Adaline Bates - Record executives were already foaming at the mouth to sign a 63 year old to their label until she sweetened the deal by dressing like a man and performing both parts of a duet. Pure garbage, and probably yet another novelty act that has Howie giggling and raving for it to be given a Vegas residency until she does the exact same thing next time and Howie immediately washes his hands (sign...again) of the so-called "tired act" in disgust.

Ryan Niemiller - It really sucks how most decent comedians have to suffer from some ailment that will become the backbone of their act for the foreseeable future. There's the usual idea of comedians being funny to cope with their life is depressing and on AGT, that line tends to be overstepped to the point where (disabled person) can only make jokes about their disability and can't think of anything else to talk about. He was funny, but it's rather evident to see where this is going next time, and the next time.

Light Balance Kids - A diminutive version of the same boring act from 2 years ago, which in itself was derivative of other LED dance routines. I'm ashamed to admit I curse the Lord's name watching this show, since there must be someone up there saying "let there be light (acts)" every damn year. There doesn't seem to be much upward mobility or variety for these things, unless it's just a sign that watching this show for more than a few years is not the norm.

Nicholas Wallace - Gabrielle was paid to be blindfolded and not watch this dreck, what a sweet gig. Obviously, it's a necessary part of the act, but I really hate the pompous "setting the mood" tone all of these guys do when talking about "once upon a time, there was a woman who died" and the audience collectively goes bug-eyed in horror before anything happens. That empty chair was probably relieved Clint Eastwood wasn't on stage, at least. Anyway, what else is there to say? There's probably some type of gimmick/cue that gets relayed to whoever's volunteering for the act, and it's likely confirmed that all four judges and Terry will be revolving participants in these magic acts where the 90 second performance rule gets thrown out the window.

Joseph Allen - The song was decent, albeit corny, even though there's no reason to expect racier lyrics unless he works in a line or two about winning motocross events (ha). He has a lot of energy and I get the appeal, but hopefully he has more to say in the next performance aside from name-dropping the show, judges, etc.. Not golden buzzer-worthy at all, but then again, assigning value to a prop that's used 5 times a season is kind of silly as well.

Most of the previous hosts have been similarly useless while contestants are performing, since there's nothing for them to do unless they're obnoxiously entering the stage to participate, but imagine being the editor who has to comb through hours of footage of the back of Terry's head, trying to find a soundbite of him turning around and saying "that dude is funny" before looking away. Why even have him do that during every performance, it adds nothing unless NBC thinks the audience will forget who he is without being on camera constantly.

Overall, this was probably weaker than last week's show. That hardly means much, since I'll apparently watch it no matter what. This is probably how fans of the absolute worst sports teams feel.

Edited June 5, 2019 by Neet

[InternetToughGuy]

It's quite odd how I can say without hesitation that these shows are regularly a 0, 1, or 2 out of 10, yet also ask anyone I may come across "So, are you watching America's Got Talent?". Tonight's show was better than last week's, but was still stuffed with mediocre acts.

Jonathan Burns - Regardless of whatever the act is, whenever the contestant is one of these beanpole nerds, I just hate it automatically. I was about to say something worse, but I started choking badly on tea while typing it and took that as a warning not to. I always wonder what the intended point of using a specific song for stuff like this is, since I think the attempt is always embarrassing. I was thinking that the advanced handling of the toilet seat may put Forte (the 3 man opera group turned janitorial engineers after their flop) out of a job.

Benicio Bryant - Having the initials "BB" didn't help in my assumption that he was a girl, but since this was a singing act, I tuned it out the same as if it was my nagging wife. Saying he only performs at local coffee shops puts him on the same level of fame as the modern day American Idol winner, so this is hardly a bad thing. Simon should really hold his tongue on any comparative comments (to Harry Styles in this case), since you could interpret that as Simon helping his career, but he doesn't do that to anyone on this show.

Emerald Belles - A sea of 18 year old girls opening their legs in sync is what I would call the perfect act. After a 63 year old performed a while after, it made me appreciate this act even more. In terms of the actual act, everybody knows they won't win (they auditioned just for kicks, *hyuk), so we can probably expect a few more performances that are nearly identical to this one before they are repeatedly on the chopping block with this year's unwanted opera act (are Forte allowed to audition individually? 🤣)

Messoudi Brothers - Gabrielle and Julianne were slightly eager for them to take their shirts off, which was a subdued version of what Heidi and Mel did. I imagine if Howie and Simon high fived when the last act lifted their legs, they would be forced to sit on the floor for the rest of the season. Unless this act morphs into a sob story in the form of growing an extra limb, I think these acts are always extremely limited due to the few possible positions they can do. At least this isn't one of those annoying/pretentious husband/wife acts from Russia that unfurl from the ceiling in dining room tablecloth and make a seductive end pose after rehashing the same routine (yet again). I'm sure there will be one of those in the weeks to come, though.

Karamjit & Krawijit Singh - I had considered their name to be false advertising, unless by chance, the giant let out a melodic howl after being hit in the head (I spent too much time on trying to phrase this Dad joke). Even though there was no sense of danger, since they wouldn't air a guy's head being crushed, it was still a decent act. Referring to the giant as "the world's tallest police officer" sounds like a very weird description, especially since it looks like his knees would implode if he tried running more than 5 miles an hour, I don't see how him being tall is a very big threat to criminals.

GFORCE - A group of fellow Canadians who live in a city that is farther away from me than over 50% of the United States has filled me with national pride. I always wonder how some acts who don't live in the US get to audition for these shows, since being American seems mandatory a lot of the time. Anyways, I thought the performance sounded like it was right off of an album, it was impressive for what it was. They used the beyond cliche "girl" and "world" rhyme which made me laugh as usual, but it was catchy.

Adaline Bates - Contrary to her self aggrandizement, I hope I forget this performance and writing this part of my comment sooner than later. I have no idea what the market for this would be, since as far as I know, it seems typical that women her own age don't look for much new music and any young man who would be interested would likely be acting out his incredibly niche fetish.

Ryan Niemiller - Much like he said, any attempt to joke about his arms don't really land, since his act is making fun of them, so any pun I thought of about them will be thrown in the garbage (along with the mountain of Landau Eugene Murphy albums) Anyways, he had some good jokes, which was refreshing.

Light Balance Kids - It's cool to look at, but I don't know how you'd craft an hour long show out of it. This kind of act always falls apart when they try and do something poetic, but I find it to be tiring even before that point.

Nicholas Wallace - This act was shit. The girls in the audience holding their hand over their mouth in fear was annoying - who would actually act like that? Judging by how much I hate him, I know we'll be seeing him in at least the semi finals. It seemed like he got 10 minutes, unless the time just crawls by when crap like this clogs up the screen.

Joseph Allen - His talent level was equaled to Dr. Dre and Drake (sans ghostwriters). I didn't think the song was very good; I didn't even like her that much because "muh Dad!" was brought up so much, but Flau'jee (spelling? it'll come up as a typo, even if correct) was a much better lyricist than him.

Overall the show was better than last week, but the ratio of good to bad performances is still dreadfully low. On a side note, Terry Crews is absolutely useless uttering his one word soundbytes "Wow!", "great!", "glad it's not me!". I skip listening to all judge commentary, because other than what seems like their genuine desire to be annoying, it feels like the extremely dim people watching at home have to have an opinion about what they just watched spoonfed to them. It's hard ripping on a show that's not 100% bad, which is why I almost prefer it when the show sucks, since I far more enjoy posting on here than watching it.

Edited June 5, 2019 by InternetToughGuy

[sharifa70]

Line of the night went to Gabrielle’s “I got touched a lot?” which made me laugh too much.

I agree that tonight’s Predictable Golden Buzzer was mediocre even for this show. That was a complete background noise performance for me while I watched videos of David Blaine messing with celebrities.

Edited June 5, 2019 by sharifa70

[Babalooie]

11 hours ago, Commando Cody said:

I was surprised that they let Suitcase Boy finish his act.

I concur.  As soon as I saw him pop out of the suitcase, I was over it.  Were there any acts X'ed out at all on this episode?

[vmcd88]

I'm new to the show...what does getting the golden buzzer mean?  I didnt understand what was so special about the last guy's performance to deserve the golden buzzer.   I was entertained by the dance light show but I dont know where they go from here.  I dont enjoy Terry Crews as a host but hey it's almost summer and I'm on the cruising for new shows.  Where does the 60+ year old lady  go in later performances.  Cant be a good but I'm along for the trainwreck....

[sharifa70]

1 hour ago, vmcd88 said:

I'm new to the show...what does getting the golden buzzer mean? 

They go straight through to the live rounds without having to compete for a spot.

[saber5055]

Did all the acts go through last night? I was only partly watching so missed the judge comments. I know! They are the best part of this show! (NOT)

I like Terry Crews, best host so far, but his "dancing pecs" gross me out. Like, REALLY gross me out. I'm not sure what that says about me. I'm not going to think about that.

I thought the Rockettes dance crew was all older women, 20-30. I will have to re-evaluate my liking it after reading here they were high school kids. Yikes.

Edited June 5, 2019 by saber5055

[Sounder]

I'm glad for two things......one...... Howie didn't give his golden buzzer to a little girl....... that was beginning to concern me......and two......the golden buzzer didn't get awarded to someone who has a disability......it was becoming like a Jerry"s kids thing.     I like Joseph Allen and think he's a future star whether he wins the show or not.   Oh.....and I left out that he doesn't sing opera....... that's a plus.    

[Booklady1017]

17 hours ago, ams1001 said:

Didn't particularly like the coconut-smashing act but points for using the Piña Colada song to play them off.

Hey look, the GB went to a singer. Who started ten minutes from the end of the show. I'm shocked. 

Yeah real shocking about the GB, not! He was ok but not deserving. I didn't like the coconut smashing act either. The best was the acrobats and Benny was good but was too nervous at first.

16 hours ago, mtlchick said:

Joseph Allen was adequate at best.  And that gets a golden buzzer?  

Show, you're lucky Terry's energy and dancing pecs are keeping me around.  

LOL and I couldn't agree more.

16 hours ago, saber5055 said:

I couldn't even watch that act. I guess it went through. But I hope not.

What was up with the first guy who crawled through the toilet seat? THAT'S a talent? They X'd Monkey dancer last week and we didn't even get to see his act yet we had to suffer through this guy crawling through a tennis racket for 10 minites? WTH show. Talk about starting on a low point.

Actually, I thought most of this episode was a low point after enjoying last week. The kiddie Light Whatever their name is looked exactly like the adult Light Whatever their name was from before. Nothing different, same act, different faces (when the real lights came on).

I laughed at the last guy, the Golden Buzzer dude. He said he wasn't "the best singer" and Julianne said "It doesn't matter." WTH. I guess now singers don't have to be able to sing? Alrighty then. So this guy got a Golden Buzzer for ... what?

The Rockettes dancers I thought were interesting, I actually stopped to watch them, I liked that their costumes made patterns. I walked away when Howie started dissing them though, they aren't as good as the real Rockettes? Oh, Howie. I guess you're laughing all the way to the bank with the money TPTB are paying you to say that stuff to get the drama going. Good on you for following the script.

Meanwhile, I'm buying stock in double-sided tape if Julianne continues to wear that one outfit. "My eyes are up here folks."

I liked the line kick dancers too and I was disappointed about the GB this week and I didn't get that first guy at all.

[Booklady1017]

15 hours ago, Commando Cody said:

I was surprised that they let Suitcase Boy finish his act. It also went on for way longer than a minute and a half.  It was weird and it was kind of amusing. It left me wondering what he would follow up with.  He already used the best song he could have possibly picked for his first audition. 

I'm not interested in the next 14 year old girl singer, but I think this was a good audition for her.

The all beige dance team wasn't very good. They kicked well and were in sync during that part. The rest of the dance routine was kind of sloppy.  At least one of the girls was off balance.  I had to agree with Howie.  I've seen better dance troops on this show. 

The three gratuitous shirtless guys produced a pretty good show of strength.  I don't think I have seen three hand balancers in one act on this show before.  It's cool that Terry Crews got to show some strength as well.  I think it's a little weird when the judges gawk at shirtless men on this show. 

The salt in the eyes seemed a bit excessive.  I don't like these kinds of acts. I don't like danger acts in general.  I don't need to see this act of blindly smashing coconuts ever again. The guy with salted eyes didn't even look like the salt irritated him. 

I haven't even seen what the act is yet, and I already don't like these five plugged in little girls.  They are probably already youtube stars.  The act needs work - mostly the singing and the dancing - but the song wasn't terrible - at least by the way it sounded. I couldn't really understand the words.  

I haven't seen the half man half woman act in a long time.  I kept expecting her to pull off some sort of vocal harmony with herself.  That would have been impressive.  She wasn't a good enough singer to make this act work. 

The red bearded comedian sucked donkey balls. 

These Light Balance Kids are from the Ukraine? They hardly had an accent.  I don't really get it. It just looked like Light Balance again.  I'm tired of them.  I would rather look at a different act. 

The rocking chair looked brand new.  He could have at least scuffed it up a bit.  The ghost act was a little boring. 

I figured on the golden buzzer because it was the last act of the night.  That's all I have on that one. 

This show was a big disappointment compared to last week.

[Sounder]

G-Force:.  this is actually the second all girl group of that name to appear on agt.   The first was a three girl group playing their own instruments in season four.    This one reminded me of a mini spice girls with the one in white looking like a Mel B. "mini-me".......but they sounded good and their song is "spice girls catchy".

[Booklady1017]

13 hours ago, Vermicious Knid said:

It's the Jonas Brothers of acrobatics. That takes incredible upper body strength, and now I want to see them on American Ninja Warrior.

Little girls are definitely patterning themselves after the Spice Girls. They're okay for 12 year olds but not great. GB was also not that great. The world's tallest policeman and his friends should really just go for a comedy routine and not this...whatever that was.

Yes they did seem like the Spice Girls. Was that a compliment or insult against the acrobatics? I thought they were one of the better acts of the night.

12 hours ago, DaphneCat said:

I can not tell you how much I hated this act.  There was obviously some trick - especially with the random "misses" where he only hit the floor.  If it goes wrong - I don't want to see some guy get maimed/killed.  Since it went right I thought there were way to many coconuts - it was really repetitive.

I couldn't agree more!!!!

[Booklady1017]

11 hours ago, Neet said:

Benecio Bryant - I thought he was a girl for almost the whole audition since a lot of people without a "John Smith" name mumble it out when introducing themselves. Apparently, the 'humble coffee shop' front was an omitted truth, since he was the runner-up for The Voice Kids Germany last year. I didn't know that myself since my trivia knowledge of The Voice Kids Germany is embarrassingly low. (X Factor Seniors Bolivia is my niche) I can't remember anything about the performance, really, since most singers on AGT are formulaic and generally unmarketable.

LOL about X Factors Seniors Bolivia and I read that about Benny too and also admit that I thought he was a girl too. I couldn't make out his name at first either. He actually was good for the second half of the song and he's lucky that he pulled out that performance because on the first half I thought he should go home.

[Booklady1017]

11 hours ago, Neet said:

Jonathan Burns - Another act where the main premise is the guy embracing how gross looking/annoying he is, which is a huge pet peeve of mine because it's still gross and annoying no matter how self-aware or tongue-in-cheek it is. The contortionism was an afterthought in comparison because he was barely showing it off. He'd fit through a few objects and then soak up the unrelated music playing over top of his hammed up slinking around the stage leering at the crowd.

Benecio Bryant - I thought he was a girl for almost the whole audition since a lot of people without a "John Smith" name mumble it out when introducing themselves. Apparently, the 'humble coffee shop' front was an omitted truth, since he was the runner-up for The Voice Kids Germany last year. I didn't know that myself since my trivia knowledge of The Voice Kids Germany is embarrassingly low. (X Factor Seniors Bolivia is my niche) I can't remember anything about the performance, really, since most singers on AGT are formulaic and generally unmarketable.

Emerald Belles - How are these 25-30 year old looking girls in high school? Not exactly overcoming the stereotype of cheerleaders being dumb if they're still there, but seriously, they look old. I wonder how they'd fill a Vegas show out with 60 minutes of mostly kicking the air repeatedly, unless they collaborate with Nicholas Wallace to fight the ghost he swears is on the stage. Pretty repetitive stuff.

Messoudi Brothers - Writing compliments feels kind of facetious because that's not why I post anything, but it was a good act. They're obviously strong and clearly don't run on Dunkin' products to look like that. It was a different enough routine from the years of other strongman acts to not be total deja vu, though one has to wonder how long they can vary up the tricks to keep it interesting. It also seems weird how two of them had long hair that wasn't tied up in any way when they clearly need to see what they're doing when performing.

Karamjit & Krawijit Singh - Acts like this make me wonder if someone grinds up SSRI drugs into my food because I'm totally emotionless while watching, meanwhile everyone in the crowd is gasping and bulging their eyes out of their head. Even during non-lethal performances, I just find it weird how the audience is crinkling their foreheads and remarking "this fool crazy" out loud. I know there's not going to be a casting call for Ben Stein clones as audience members, but I don't understand how people either cover their mouths and flail around or scream at the TV. This type of act has been done before but the presentation felt pretty fresh. The guy hitting the ground with the hammer a few times amped up the suspense as opposed to nailing every coconut/watermelon in a row. Is it a correct assumption that he's opening his eyes through the salt to see the objects and hoping the $1,000,000 before taxes can pay for an ocular transplant?

GFORCE - This felt like Simon testing the waters for a new girl group and pretending like he's never seen them before, complete with every totally undiscovered girl already having their own nickname, ready to be plastered on lunch boxes and other crap. Simon asking each of them their names was probably because he concussed himself into memory loss to keep up the ruse of not knowing them. The man is dedicated, I'll give him that. Gabrielle shows her old age by claiming a song about breaking the internet should be played on the radio. 

Adaline Bates - Record executives were already foaming at the mouth to sign a 63 year old to their label until she sweetened the deal by dressing like a man and performing both parts of a duet. Pure garbage, and probably yet another novelty act that has Howie giggling and raving for it to be given a Vegas residency until she does the exact same thing next time and Howie immediately washes his hands (sign...again) of the so-called "tired act" in disgust.

Ryan Niemiller - It really sucks how most decent comedians have to suffer from some ailment that will become the backbone of their act for the foreseeable future. There's the usual idea of comedians being funny to cope with their life is depressing and on AGT, that line tends to be overstepped to the point where (disabled person) can only make jokes about their disability and can't think of anything else to talk about. He was funny, but it's rather evident to see where this is going next time, and the next time.

Light Balance Kids - A diminutive version of the same boring act from 2 years ago, which in itself was derivative of other LED dance routines. I'm ashamed to admit I curse the Lord's name watching this show, since there must be someone up there saying "let there be light (acts)" every damn year. There doesn't seem to be much upward mobility or variety for these things, unless it's just a sign that watching this show for more than a few years is not the norm.

Nicholas Wallace - Gabrielle was paid to be blindfolded and not watch this dreck, what a sweet gig. Obviously, it's a necessary part of the act, but I really hate the pompous "setting the mood" tone all of these guys do when talking about "once upon a time, there was a woman who died" and the audience collectively goes bug-eyed in horror before anything happens. That empty chair was probably relieved Clint Eastwood wasn't on stage, at least. Anyway, what else is there to say? There's probably some type of gimmick/cue that gets relayed to whoever's volunteering for the act, and it's likely confirmed that all four judges and Terry will be revolving participants in these magic acts where the 90 second performance rule gets thrown out the window.

Joseph Allen - The song was decent, albeit corny, even though there's no reason to expect racier lyrics unless he works in a line or two about winning motocross events (ha). He has a lot of energy and I get the appeal, but hopefully he has more to say in the next performance aside from name-dropping the show, judges, etc.. Not golden buzzer-worthy at all, but then again, assigning value to a prop that's used 5 times a season is kind of silly as well.

Most of the previous hosts have been similarly useless while contestants are performing, since there's nothing for them to do unless they're obnoxiously entering the stage to participate, but imagine being the editor who has to comb through hours of footage of the back of Terry's head, trying to find a soundbite of him turning around and saying "that dude is funny" before looking away. Why even have him do that during every performance, it adds nothing unless NBC thinks the audience will forget who he is without being on camera constantly.

Overall, this was probably weaker than last week's show. That hardly means much, since I'll apparently watch it no matter what. This is probably how fans of the absolute worst sports teams feel.

You made a lot of other good comments too. I agree about the comedian and the older singer and LB kids.

[Sounder]

I didn't think it was possible for a lady to look more plastic than Katy Perry......but Julianne in her garish eye makeup was hard to look at.   Ease up on it ladies.....you don't need it.

[Commando Cody]

What are you all saying?  The 14 year old girl singer, is a boy?  Are you sure?

[hnygrl]

First act only got through because they're all so freaking HOT. The act itself has been done and done well, season after season, again and again, but they're great to look upon with no clothes on so...yes...

Last act? In my never-to-be-humble opinion, he EARNED that G.B.

Seriously. He's that good. I pray this show opens doors for him. The boy is GOOD at what he does.

The middle?

Eh. But that weirdo doll/chair/ghostie thingie was interesting. Would love to know how they did that.

Edited June 5, 2019 by hnygrl

[giaNtsandYankees]

Maybe I'm expecting too much, but I was again left underwhelmed with this week's auditions.

Dude coming outside of a suitcase, putting himself through a toilet lid and a tennis racket? I can do that! And I have a sob story for the judges. Maybe I should audition. Or call out one of the producers to recruit me.

The Emerald Belles were in sync with their routine, but I'm not sure how far they'll get with a kick routine. It would be a good routine for the Macy's Thanksgiving Parade in my opinion. We'll see what they'll bring in Judge Cut's...if we see them there.

Karamjit & Krawijit Singh was an okay act. I'm not sure what to expect next. And what was going though my mind was that I could have really used that wasted coconut milk for cooking my beans and rice. I guess I'm being a little anal with that...

When Adaline Bates came to the stage, I was nearly expecting a 1960's soul feel...which I love. My parents played a lot of Motown, Stylistics and Isley Brothers when I was growing up. But when Adaline said that she had to get ready, I knew something else was going to go down. Her performance was cute, but let's be real...it's a gimmick. Certain gimmicks don't last long on AGT. i.e. Yumbo Dump and Human Fountain. The judges may have brought them to the lives...but they didn't make it past the first set of Live Shows.

The Light Balance Kids were exactly as their name describes. Light Balance with a group of kids. It's a good act, but we've seen the set up and style before. I'm curious to see if they'll bring something new in Judge Cuts.

I see G-Force as a Disney Channel version of the Spice Girls.

I really hope this season picks up. Maybe I'm just a Debbie Downer, maybe I'm expecting too much, but I haven't really been impressed yet.

Until next week, ya'll.

[Ohwell]

5 hours ago, saber5055 said:

I like Terry Crews, best host so far, but his "dancing pecs" gross me out. Like, REALLY gross me out. I'm not sure what that says about me. I'm not going to think about that.

Yeah, I can do without his "dancing pecs" shtick.  It is not sexy or cute.  Just gross.

[ams1001]

20 hours ago, saber5055 said:

Like that ancient practical joke, you hand your friend the trick binoculars and tell him/her to look at that guy across the street so he/she does. And the binocs leave two black racoon eyes on his/her face. Hilarious! Thanks for that memory. (Not that I ever played that trick but the Three Stooges did, a lot.) Yeah, that was Julianne.

Maybe it was Heidi with her finger binoculars.

19 hours ago, Commando Cody said:

I was surprised that they let Suitcase Boy finish his act. It also went on for way longer than a minute and a half.  It was weird and it was kind of amusing. It left me wondering what he would follow up with.  He already used the best song he could have possibly picked for his first audition. 

I did laugh when they asked him how he discovered his talent (or whatever they said) and he said "I was a weird kid." I won't be surprised if he doesn't get too far but he entertained me way more than I expected.

19 hours ago, truebluesmoky said:

Were the little girls lip synching to a pre-recorded track? I guess that’s what most groups do who sing and dance at the same time, but it doesn’t seem completely fair.

Yeah, I thought they sounded a little "produced." I'm good with never seeing a young child sing an original song again. Originals can be iffy anyway (and the judges, especially Simon, have gone from hating them to loving them over the seasons for some unfathomable reason) but I've heard at least a couple decent ones from adults with some actual experience on this show (one of which I even bought on iTunes). But 12-year-old Spice Girls Wannabes? No, please.

[InternetToughGuy]

1 hour ago, hnygrl said:

First act only got through because they're all so freaking HOT.

The first act was that 45 pound Google employee - anyone willingly picturing several of him needs to be examined 😅

[helenamonster]

3 hours ago, Commando Cody said:

What are you all saying?  The 14 year old girl singer, is a boy?  Are you sure?

Definitely a dude. His name was Benny, short for Benicio.

Not too much to say about this episode. This is turning out to be a lackluster season so far. I hope things start to get better but won't get my hopes up.

[hnygrl]

45 minutes ago, InternetToughGuy said:

The first act was that 45 pound Google employee - anyone willingly picturing several of him needs to be examined 😅

🤭 Oops! Y'all know what/who I mean! See where my brain kicked in? I totally forgot about the other acts before that one.

Too funny!😁😁😁

[Unraveled]

I was disappointed in Benecio, the curly haired boy singer. His constant vibrato and lack of enunciation was bothering, and I didn't know what he was singing half of the time.  He actually does have a nice voice, so I hope he actually sings next time.

I'm wondering if the 60 year old lady singing "Impossible" is better at singing in the middle, like alto vs soprano. Her low voice wasn't bad, but her higher voice was breathy.

I was actually surprisingly entertained by the skinny flexible man. He had showmanship. I'm not sure if I would be further entertained by him but his audition was fun and, well, weird.

[Vermicious Knid]

Ok, I was also confused if that was a guy, a girl, or someone gender neutral. Then I thought Simon said the name was Gabrielle.

I'm going to bet G-Force is owned and trademarked by somebody and they are going to need a new name.

[phoenix780]

I only watched a clip on YouTube because of some hype so I'm curious whether they admit that the rapper's mic was filtering his singing voice. Was that an open part of the act, like a T-Pain kind of thing? Or am I hearing something that wasn't there? To me it sounded unreal, not because it was so great, but because it sounded clipped, robotic in parts.

[marketdoctor]

Thanks everyone; I spent the whole episode wondering "was this me, or was it an off episode?"  Now I know.

Quote

Was that an open part of the act, like a T-Pain kind of thing?

I think so; it sounded Autotuned.  A handful of singers can sound that way without Autotune, but it's at least an open secret, if not actually open, and a lot of rappers and singers use it.

[MissSunshine]

Please forgive me if this has been brought up already. I'm at work and have not had a chance to read ya'lls comments just yet. The golden buzzer seems like a sweet guy, but did you guys find it weird that first he tells Terry Crews that if he gets the buzzer to pick him up. It seemed like he kind of knew already. THEN they place like 30 people from his school directly behind the judges? Was it all planned? And if so, how was it planned? Do you think he knew he was going to be the golden buzzer? I hate when things seem so stages

[Sounder]

A little off topic news ......89 year old singer Colin Thackery is your 2019 BGT winner.    Now that the show is over..... production is set to begin for "BGT: The Champions"......a spin-off show set to find the best act in Got Talent history.     Susan Boyle to date is the only confirmed entrant......but many of the BGT acts you saw last winter on agt champions will be there.......Shin Lim will likely appear.......they're trying to get Terry Fator but that's a longshot.    And Grace Vander Wal will likely be free to appear.   So will sand artist Kesinya Seminova from Ukraine.

[marketdoctor]

Quote

Was it all planned? And if so, how was it planned? Do you think he knew he was going to be the golden buzzer?

What I know:  going before the judges is not their first audition--and the producers know which acts are really good, pretty good, and likely to get buzzed but will seem like relatively good television.  There are a lot of acts we don't see, so we have to work from their opinion.  What's more, they know which acts have an inspiring back story.  (Obviously, they don't show the acts in the order they appear, so they know that we know that the last act is the one that might get the GB.)

What my conjecture is:  The producers strongly suspected the guy who got the GB would get one, so they brought his family.  They didn't tell the judges specifically to press the buzzer, but they might have implied that this would be, in the producers' opinion, good television.

What my opinion is: great television seems real or magical.  The Golden Buzzer, the way they use it, seems fake and mundane.  I don't have a better analogy, but it would be like if someone in the Harry Potter universe tried doing that card trick where you deal out three rows of seven cards, OUT OF A SINCERE ATTEMPT TO BE A MILLION DOLLAR ACT.  (It's a nice trick, but there's a reason you don't see it on television.)

[Whimsy]

I hated that they kept basically saying that the drill team/high kick dancers was the same as cheerleading. Gabrielle even said it!  It’s not the same. AT ALL.  Even a little bit. Just because they are a group of girls doesn’t mean they’re the same. Huge bug for me 

[SG11]

On 6/4/2019 at 9:48 PM, saber5055 said:

Like that ancient practical joke, you hand your friend the trick binoculars and tell him/her to look at that guy across the street so he/she does. And the binocs leave two black racoon eyes on his/her face. Hilarious! Thanks for that memory. (Not that I ever played that trick but the Three Stooges did, a lot.) Yeah, that was Julianne.

And yet... hot.

As I said last week, Julianne’s addition was clearly intended as an attention boost as people find new reasons to hate her. Effective.

[SG11]

On 6/5/2019 at 5:03 PM, hnygrl said:

First act only got through because they're all so freaking HOT. The act itself has been done and done well, season after season, again and again, but they're great to look upon with no clothes on so...yes...

Last act? In my never-to-be-humble opinion, he EARNED that G.B.

Seriously. He's that good. I pray this show opens doors for him. The boy is GOOD at what he does.

The middle?

Eh. But that weirdo doll/chair/ghostie thingie was interesting. Would love to know how they did that.

This is one of those tongue in cheek posts, right?

The first act was Suitcase Boy.

The last act was awful.

The chair act put me to sleep

[SG11]

So, like last week, I spent the night saying “I’ve seen this before, and it was better then.” A lot of kinda mediocre disappointments. Have they actually found all the good acts in the world?

Continuing to hate the overpackaged produced version of the show. Apparently they don’t show any bad acts anymore getting buzzed, because someone might get their feelings hurt? That used to be pretty funny years ago. And you simply know ahead of time when you are supposed to be wowed by an act.

Gabrielle is betting better. Julianne still seems like she’s reciting lines when she reacts although I continue to enjoy looking at her and hearing envious cracks about her. Terry, although I was slow to warm up to him, is so much better than Tyra. Howie has passed his expiration date and Simon still looks like he has a $50 upper tooth flapper and 1.99 Haynes worn-thin wifebeater T shirt. He needs to lose the Dunkies cup and grab a ’Gansett.

On to the “talent”:

Suitcase Boy. Yeah, tired of the geeky, skinny dweeb act. It’s been done.

No shirt guys. Strong tricks, I guess the chicks like to look at them. It’s funny though that Heidi-Mel-Gabby-Julianne all act like they have never seen a hot guy before. Don’t famous chick get guys?

High kick chicks. I was happy to see Howie finally disagree and vote no, even though his comment comparing 15 year olds with professionals was stupid. They really weren’t very good and the “focus” girl in the middle that did a couple things alone was one of the worst performers they had. Who picked her?

Coconut Sledgehammer: Dull. I like danger acts, but there’s never any danger. Obvious trick going on. Also, why find the World Biggest Human and use him by... laying on the floor. Huh? Wonder what that “salt” really was.

Old Lady singer. I expected her to be better, a little disappointed.

Light Balance Kids. Since Illuminate, this tired light show has been done over and over and over and we are still supposed to be interested. Oh look, the parents put their kids in the outfits how shocking. Most interesting part of this was the little girl Kate Moss lookalike who spoke at the intro who clearly has a Vogue contract in her future.

BoyGirl Singer. I thought he was a girl too. Who cares. Knew she was lying about coffee shops. Really expected herhim to be much much better, very disappointing. And Simon calls him Harry Styles... completely compromising previous comparisons to Taylor Swift when someone was actually exceptional. Now his comments mean nothing.

Comedian Guy. My favorite act of the night. Oddly, completely different from most all AGT comedians, he was actually funny. I agree with some commenters that it’s unfortunate it seems tied to his disability. If a comedian comes on who is funny without a hook, Ill be stunned.

Gforced. Could they waste an entire segment any worse? Terrible singing, dancing, mediocre at best Spice girl imitation from a cow town dance school competition. Is Simon actually going to pretend this is a pro act in waiting? Just awful. Painful.

GhostChair. Great comment that a chair that old that survived a fire should be less brand new. I love creepy stuff and some acts like the Mentalists in the past have been superb. This was painfully dull and boring. The trick with Gabby was repetitive and that’s all he had. Zzzzzzz.

and finally, GoldenBuzzed. Um, huh? Not a good singer, Julie says it doesn’t matter, not a performer, not good at anything. Impressive overconfidence in himself though, unawarranted as it was. Clearly the most unworthy Golden Buzzer ever? Can’t think of a worse one, maybe someone could suggest another.

As I said, not a good episode. It seems all the good acts have washed through all the competition shows, so we are left with all second-tier stuff?  And Simon and company trying to pretend they are just great? Oh, and I’ll never understand the point in mixing location clips together. Why not do one or 2 at a time for continuity?

[Mr. Sparkle]

41 minutes ago, SG11 said:

Gforced. Could they waste an entire segment any worse? Terrible singing, dancing, mediocre at best Spice girl imitation from a cow town dance school competition. Is Simon actually going to pretend this is a pro act in waiting? Just awful. Painful.

My criteria for kid acts is that they need to be at least 75% as good as adults doing the same act. Cuteness can only count for a small part of it. (25% by my completely made-up system.) If GForce were adults, they would have been X'd off the stage. 

[tinkerbell]

The chair act left me puzzled.  

The guy tells Gabrielle to focus on the feeling  "right here" putting his hand over his chest. And to raise her hand when she feels it again.  But she's blindfolded. So shes not aware that shes supposed to respond to a feeling in her chest. It could be some vibration in the chair cushion, on any part of her body.

I agree that the last guy was not good.they stacked the audience with people from his school, and then Simon said yes based on the audience reaction!!.

And now you guys are telling me Benicio is a boy?

[DaphneCat]

11 hours ago, Superclam said:

My criteria for kid acts is that they need to be at least 75% as good as adults doing the same act. Cuteness can only count for a small part of it. (25% by my completely made-up system.) If GForce were adults, they would have been X'd off the stage. 

Apparently I'm a VERY mean old lady.  Kids do not get a pass from me for being cute.  Either they have a talent or they don't.  I always hate it when one of the 67(or thereabouts) member dance troupes brings out the tiny "dancer" who can't do the routine and does the "fierce" pose at the end just because they are trying to add a cute factor.  

[SG11]

1 hour ago, tinkerbell said:

The chair act left me puzzled.  

The guy tells Gabrielle to focus on the feeling  "right here" putting his hand over his chest. And to raise her hand when she feels it again.  But she's blindfolded. So shes not aware that shes supposed to respond to a feeling in her chest. It could be some vibration in the chair cushion, on any part of her body.

OK, I thought I was alone on that. He touched his chest while telling her instructions and I thought supposedly she can’t see you, man.