cooksdelight March 15, 2020 Share March 15, 2020 What ALL of these people who find love in a prison keep forgetting ..... Your inmate/soul mate wants you to send them money, goodies, etc. You have them under your control. For the time being. Once they are out and free, they want to do all the things they haven’t been able to do for a long time. Your control is gone. Deal with it. 1 5 Link to comment
psychoticstate March 15, 2020 Share March 15, 2020 Watching Lacey and Chon in her car, with Lacey minus her usual makeup and with her eyes super small and squinty, I kept thinking she'd been stung by a bee (or backed into a hive), was having an allergic reaction and Chon better get her to the ER pronto. I have zero sympathy for Chon or Chane. They both knew what a trashy ho Lacey was and is. I just don't understand why these two are fighting over her. Does her vajayjay shoot out gold coins or something? Watching Clint and MyGoddess is beyond depressing. I worry most about Blazer the dog and the cat. No, Brittany, hanging out in the truckbed of your ex-girlfriend right outside prison walls, while shouting things at the prisoners, is not suspicious at all. You would think someone on parole wouldn't want to be anywhere near a prison yard. Other than that, and the fact that I hate her hand tattoos, I've got nothing. Angela and Sarah are both dumb bitches who actually expect us to believe that they would walk away from their shitty men. Sarah, stop with the accent and stop acting all superior because Michael is your husband. You should be ashamed to be legally bound to that weenie. And of course you're probably taking a pregnancy test next week. You clearly have learned nothing, like, ever. And that hotel parking lot argument went 0 to 60 because of Sarah. She needs to quit whining about all the bad Michael is doing to the girls and get to an attorney to get full custody and cut Michael off completely. I truly don't understand why she is so insistent on him being in the girls' lives when he is such a bad influence and seems to do nothing but damage them. (Okay, I'm really not. It's very clear that they are Sarah's ticket to keep herself insinuated in Michael's life.) I was laughing over Tony's bachelor party. That looked like a cheesy, sleazy night out to me. (In other words, Sunday to Tony.) Of course Angela comes running to the strip club to drag Tony out by the ear and put him to bed without any supper. Tommy is probably right about the marriage lasting two years tops but he needs to just step back and let Angela fuck up her own life well and good. I would say Angela is totally dickmatized but the thought makes me feel sick. 6 10 Link to comment
AZChristian March 15, 2020 Share March 15, 2020 2 minutes ago, psychoticstate said: Tommy is probably right about the marriage lasting two years tops . . . When he said that, I said, "Tommy is an optimist." 12 3 Link to comment
Jeanne222 March 15, 2020 Share March 15, 2020 29 minutes ago, AZChristian said: When he said that, I said, "Tommy is an optimist." There are no pessimists on this show! Hope springs eternal! 🙊🙉🙈 6 2 Link to comment
pi6120 March 16, 2020 Share March 16, 2020 (edited) Signed up here just to chime in about this. WE exists only for Law & Order re-runs in my eyes, but plans fell through Friday evening and I found myself watching this show for the first time, 3-4 back-to-back, including the newest one. I've never laughed at a so-called sitcom or standup routine any harder than I did this show. After about one-and-a-half episodes, I was hooked. I HAD to see what happened to these people next. I needed six showers afterwards, but still...a small price to pay for such solid entertainment/laughs. From what little I've seen, there are only two people associated with the show who possess a functioning brain: that grubby guy's mom and the hotel manager. Tony is just...well, he's special, isn't he? Plot twist: when Tommy "objects" during the wedding next Friday, he'll also confess his love for Tony. All this stuff about being that old woman's friend is just a smokescreen. If my future wedding planner isn't sporting some righteous Liberty overalls, I ain't interested. PS - Is that horseface, balloon-knockered blonde tranquilized? Is she the alleged "sex appeal" for the show? Because...well, she has none. I've never looked more forward to an approaching Friday night in my LIFE...I know nothing's really going to happen and I know it's all just ginned-up playacting, but it sure is funny. Edited March 16, 2020 by pi6120 11 5 Link to comment
sempervivum March 16, 2020 Share March 16, 2020 15 hours ago, pi6120 said: I've never laughed at a so-called sitcom or standup routine any harder than I did this show. After about one-and-a-half episodes, I was hooked. I HAD to see what happened to these people next. Welcome to the Thunder Dome! 7 1 Link to comment
cooksdelight March 17, 2020 Share March 17, 2020 On 3/15/2020 at 1:30 PM, psychoticstate said: Does her vajayjay shoot out gold coins or something? Best laugh I’ve had in a long time, visualizing this!!! 3 Link to comment
zenme March 17, 2020 Share March 17, 2020 Yes, her vajayjay does almost literally spit out coins. She’s a cam girl. 6 Link to comment
Squee Bastard March 17, 2020 Share March 17, 2020 Dollars to donuts Sarah is pregnant again. 4 Link to comment
zenme March 19, 2020 Share March 19, 2020 On 3/17/2020 at 9:35 AM, Squee Bastard said: Dollars to donuts Sarah is pregnant again. Her tummy did look big but I wasn’t sure if it was that or just if was her general big-ness. 1 1 Link to comment
sempervivum March 19, 2020 Share March 19, 2020 Although Sarah does seem to be super-fertile, I doubt that she'd already be showing after she just slept with Forehead the night before. AFAIK, they haven't been together for quite a while, and not on friendly terms at all (based on what WE TV is choosing to show us, of course). 1 Link to comment
RealReality March 19, 2020 Share March 19, 2020 On 3/17/2020 at 7:35 AM, Squee Bastard said: Dollars to donuts Sarah is pregnant again. Best name ever! I wouldn't even be slightly surprised to learn that Sarah got pregnant again by Michael. Sooner or later. She is delusional and perfectly willing to risk the health and happiness of her children to hold onto Michael. I truly think that anyone with two working brain cells would weigh the risks and rewards of having someone like Michael occasionally showing up in their children's lives and then creating constant havoc and disappointment when he fails to give a shit and would just keep him out of avaiana and rayns lives forever. Yeah, it sucks for a little girl to grow up without her dad. But if all your dad is going to do is make promises he won't keep and ultimately make you feel like you arent as worthy of his time and affection as some broke down ugly ass "emotional wife" then it's better he just not be around. If Sarah was careful, she could find an adequate father figure for her daughters. It's not some guy she just met at a bar, but there has got to be a grandfather, uncle, cousin who is not a pedo or a scrub who can spend time with those girls on a consistent basis and can keep his promises. 6 Link to comment
Squee Bastard March 19, 2020 Share March 19, 2020 4 hours ago, RealReality said: Best name ever! I wouldn't even be slightly surprised to learn that Sarah got pregnant again by Michael. Sooner or later. She is delusional and perfectly willing to risk the health and happiness of her children to hold onto Michael. I truly think that anyone with two working brain cells would weigh the risks and rewards of having someone like Michael occasionally showing up in their children's lives and then creating constant havoc and disappointment when he fails to give a shit and would just keep him out of avaiana and rayns lives forever. Yeah, it sucks for a little girl to grow up without her dad. But if all your dad is going to do is make promises he won't keep and ultimately make you feel like you arent as worthy of his time and affection as some broke down ugly ass "emotional wife" then it's better he just not be around. If Sarah was careful, she could find an adequate father figure for her daughters. It's not some guy she just met at a bar, but there has got to be a grandfather, uncle, cousin who is not a pedo or a scrub who can spend time with those girls on a consistent basis and can keep his promises. Thanks, @realreality! Link to comment
ErikaAlyson March 20, 2020 Share March 20, 2020 Yikes sometimes this show is too real and reality for me lol. I feel for Clint’s poor parents,Tracy is likely not going anywhere. Clint is just one of those who keeps toxic people around in his life. Tracy will probably actually have to be the one to end things with them. Lacey is such a little bitch,she hasn’t slept with John yet?! And is thinking about it?! I’m so surprised. Sarah and Michael will never end, miss Maria better get used to getting her blood pressure up lol. Michael seemed like he wasn’t even really arguing back with Sarah much at all,almost looked like he was trying not to laugh to me lol. 2 Link to comment
pi6120 March 20, 2020 Share March 20, 2020 (edited) Lack of Impulse Control Theatre. Every doofus on this show is struggling with the condition...just one moronic decision/action after another. I guess that's how they wound up in the can to begin with, but then what does that say about their significant others and THEIR warped decision-making (in)abilities? PS - Take a drink every time one of these Nobel candidates says "'deez babies" (referencing their children)...you'll be unconscious on the floor in about 25 minutes. Edited March 20, 2020 by pi6120 6 Link to comment
hookedontv March 20, 2020 Share March 20, 2020 I am so ready for some mindless TV watching tonight after having worked from home my first week (it's an adjustment) and basically not going out except for any essentials. I look at the Love After Lockup clowns and realize my life still isn't so bad, even with social distancing, working remotely, not much contact with anyone. I still have my fellow snarkers on this site which I'm very thankful for! Can't wait to see red bloated Tony in his GIANT white suit on the beach and Angela with some serious makeup caked on her unfortunate face, I'm sure there will be some more nonsense about Sarah - you know, the idiot who thinks she's going to "manipulate the manipulator" (gah I get second hand embarrassment for her every time they show her saying that) - and some supposed pregnancy test (I'm assuming it's about her but what do I know.) And the other fools, but I'm too tired to type anymore.....More to come after I watch it! 1 5 Link to comment
RealReality March 20, 2020 Share March 20, 2020 I wish these people would social distance from each other so they would stop making babies. 1 9 4 Link to comment
Keywestclubkid March 20, 2020 Share March 20, 2020 (edited) Rewatching some of the past couple of reruns. Does Clint’s mother not realize that he is a druggie? She said I want a normal relationship for him... well him being a drug user this IS a normal relationship for him. The goddess isn’t the full problem. If he wasn’t with her he would just find ANOTHER druggie to date. He needs to address his own drug problems before he can have a “normal” relationship with anyone but she’s using the goddess has a scapegoat for her own sons problems and thinking if she wasn’t around he would “magically” be better. Edited March 20, 2020 by Keywestclubkid 1 11 Link to comment
Leilani March 20, 2020 Share March 20, 2020 (edited) March 20 finale episode of Life After Lockup : Michael’s confession stuns Megan, while Sarah faces the truth. Angela & Tony’s wedding leads to a shocking discovery. Shane & John’s epic showdown. Tracie fears rehab. Andrea and Lamar’s decision changes everything. Brittany and Marcelino have a big reveal.” Edited March 21, 2020 by Leilani 1 Link to comment
RealReality March 20, 2020 Share March 20, 2020 22 minutes ago, Keywestclubkid said: Rewatching some of the past couple of reruns. Does Clint’s mother not realize that he is a druggie? She said I want a normal relationship for him... well him being a drug user this IS a normal relationship for him. The goddess isn’t the full problem. If he wasn’t with her he would just find ANOTHER druggie to date. He needs to address his own drug problems before he can have a “normal” relationship with anyone but she’s using the goddess has a scapegoat for her own sons problems and thinking if she wasn’t around he would “magically” be better. She might be in denial. I vaguely remember her saying that Clint doesn't do "hard drugs" I also think that she believes that IF Clint does hard drugs, it's all Tracie's fault for dragging him down that path. 6 Link to comment
pi6120 March 20, 2020 Share March 20, 2020 2 hours ago, RealReality said: I wish these people would social distance from each other so they would stop making babies. Exactly. On this show, condoms only serve the purpose to trigger cheating allegations/drama (like that woman finding them in the guy's coat). None of these people would ever consider actually employing one to prevent additional "'deez babies". That said, I can't wait for 9pm. 😂 Looking forward to that beach wedding...you know nothing's going to go right/normal. 2 1 Link to comment
Spike March 20, 2020 Share March 20, 2020 1 minute ago, RealReality said: She might be in denial. I vaguely remember her saying that Clint doesn't do "hard drugs" I also think that she believes that IF Clint does hard drugs, it's all Tracie's fault for dragging him down that path. Yeah Clint said when Tracie got busted he was holding pot and she was holding either crack or meth. But he definitely seems more fidgety than a pothead. 1 7 Link to comment
Squee Bastard March 21, 2020 Share March 21, 2020 So bummed tonight's Trashtastic episode is the season finale. Friday nights won't be the same for awhile. 4 Link to comment
candall March 21, 2020 Share March 21, 2020 41 minutes ago, Leilani said: March 20 finale episode of Life After Lockup : Michael’s confession stuns Megan, while Sarah faces the truth. Angela & Tony’s wedding leads to a shocking discovery. Shane & John’s epic showdown. Tracie fears rehab. Andrea and Lamar’s decision changes everything. Brittany and Marcelino have a big reveal.” I am here, in position and ready. Seems like several heretofore reliable parts of life suddenly shut down today and it's unsettling. But every single line item in that list makes me giggle. Beach wedding! Chon vs. Chane! Will the kids vote Utah or Cali? Mumbles can't control his wimmins. "Traci fears rehab" just makes me lol. No shit. Run, Forrest! And maybe, just for a special finale cherry on top, everyone will be wearing cold shoulders. HAHAHAHAHA 5 2 Link to comment
pi6120 March 21, 2020 Share March 21, 2020 "I don't spy on people..." - Tommy, pulling out phone to video Tony's STD-infused Cagney & Lacey lap dance. 7 1 Link to comment
Leilani March 21, 2020 Share March 21, 2020 I'm rewatching too leading into the new epi and Sarah's awful accent is cringe. Why doesn't anyone tell her. 1 4 Link to comment
kacesq March 21, 2020 Share March 21, 2020 Greetings fellow snarkers! Happy to be here and to watch this crap fest lol. Take my mind off of current events (and that my neighbors reprimanded me for breaking up their block party by pulling out of my driveway...) i cant stand Tony but Angela deserves every bit of misery he’ll inflict on her... 2 4 Link to comment
pi6120 March 21, 2020 Share March 21, 2020 (edited) On the day of her wedding, Angela has to ask if there's anyone else in Tony's room/bed. Yeah, that's a strong sign the marriage is gonna be nothing BUT success and understanding! 😂 Angela's friends are supportive. That's a grim, haggard trio of women sitting in that room. Edited March 21, 2020 by pi6120 10 2 Link to comment
Leilani March 21, 2020 Share March 21, 2020 Wow Tony's friend needs teeth whitening stat. 3 Link to comment
kacesq March 21, 2020 Share March 21, 2020 Donna Faye bringing the joy, lol. And Tony looks like an ice cream vendor. 6 4 Link to comment
Armchair Critic March 21, 2020 Share March 21, 2020 That close up of Angela's face 😬 2 2 Link to comment
kacesq March 21, 2020 Share March 21, 2020 Andrea’s eyelashes are sticking out like 2 inches from her face. 6 2 Link to comment
candall March 21, 2020 Share March 21, 2020 THANKS, Donna Faye! Aren't you just a little bluebird of happiness on Angela's shoulder for her wedding day. 5 3 Link to comment
kacesq March 21, 2020 Share March 21, 2020 Andrea’s children are very good looking. 11 Link to comment
JenE4 March 21, 2020 Share March 21, 2020 (edited) Angela needs to squish the mound of blankets to make sure there aren’t any prostitutes or strippers in there. Donna Faye’s basically like, did you check under the bed? Andrea: “it’s the Holy Ghost!!!” Tennison: “You said not to open the door to that.” Man, I am going to miss Tennison! I love this kid! Priscilla is going to be the tie-breaker! Is this big life decision really rest on a kindergartner?! Edited March 21, 2020 by JenE4 2 9 Link to comment
kacesq March 21, 2020 Share March 21, 2020 Just now, candall said: THANKS, Donna Faye! Aren't you just a little bluebird of happiness on Angela's shoulder for her wedding day. I wish one of my friends would get with a prisoner or bring someone over on the 90 day visa...I am so ready to be the doubting nasty friend! 4 7 Link to comment
Ijustwantsomechips March 21, 2020 Share March 21, 2020 A neck tattoo Lacey... the epitome of class and sophistication 6 4 Link to comment
kacesq March 21, 2020 Share March 21, 2020 I do hope this is the last season for all these losers. I’m tired of them, especially Lacey and Chon and Chane. 10 Link to comment
pi6120 March 21, 2020 Share March 21, 2020 Lacey suddenly getting soaked watching Chane doing the Jerry Springer/alpha dog schtick. 1 2 Link to comment
Armchair Critic March 21, 2020 Share March 21, 2020 Chane's threats to Chon sound like foreplay "call me big boy, I'll show you a big boy" 18 2 Link to comment
candall March 21, 2020 Share March 21, 2020 1 minute ago, kacesq said: I wish one of my friends would get with a prisoner or bring someone over on the 90 day visa...I am so ready to be the doubting nasty friend! Well, sure. I've hammered friends who were making a mistake. But when the wedding makeup is on and she's holding the bouquet, you're not going to change any minds just by being sour and pointing out for the hundredth time that the groom's a slag. 8 Link to comment
pi6120 March 21, 2020 Share March 21, 2020 1 minute ago, Armchair Critic said: Chane's threats to Chon sound like foreplay "call me big boy, I'll show you a big boy" The two of them would probably have a better go of it, and eject that tranquilized, balloon-knockered horseface from their lives. 6 3 Link to comment
candall March 21, 2020 Share March 21, 2020 1 minute ago, pi6120 said: The two of them would probably have a better go of it, and eject that tranquilized, balloon-knockered horseface from their lives. Spinoff! 2 1 Link to comment
kacesq March 21, 2020 Share March 21, 2020 Angela looks reasonably nice until you see that wayward tooth... 2 6 Link to comment
Leilani March 21, 2020 Share March 21, 2020 Angela looks kinda pretty. Tony is a creep and already has life insurance out on her. 1 3 Link to comment
Armchair Critic March 21, 2020 Share March 21, 2020 Angela looks lovely...from a distance 3 4 Link to comment
Ijustwantsomechips March 21, 2020 Share March 21, 2020 Five dollars says Chane would have mollywopped Chon’s ass up and down that house. He’s got the benefit of age on his side. 1 1 Link to comment
Armchair Critic March 21, 2020 Share March 21, 2020 Getting married to own the prostitutes. Yes that's a great start Angela. 3 4 Link to comment
LucyEth March 21, 2020 Share March 21, 2020 Yeah, hearts are breaking all over the country because Tony of taken😂 8 3 Link to comment
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