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Love After Lockup: Life After Lockup


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7 minutes ago, Empress1 said:

Every time Clint talks to his mother, I envision his father in the background shaking his head in annoyance.

Why hasn't Megan been replaced with Maria? Sarah and Michael 100% fucked when he stayed over.

Literally every woman in Michael's life needs to get some self-respect. She's sitting around in a motel in upstate NY, like, what are you doing? You can't think of anything better to do with your time?

Lacey's father telling her to get her head out of her ass gave me my ENTIRE life.

 

Just now, Empress1 said:

Sure, but at the end of the day she's still sitting around all day waiting for camera time. She's still pitiful.

I imagine with that face she is not electrifying Miami.

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2 hours ago, sempervivum said:

. I had a really bad day, but I burst into gales of giggles when the chyron informed me that Lamar's brother is called 'SQUEE BASTARD'. I'd love to know the story behind that one.

“Squee Bastard!” I laughed so effing hard when that name showed up. It’s like in an episode of “The First 48,” the narrator always says something like: “The suspect was identified as Mark Johnson, street name Double Cheeseburger. “ Squee Bastard is the best street name ever. 
 

And, did y’all notice how Avianha was trying to teach her dad what her real name is? Michael came in and said Pretty Girl! Avianha got some paper and crayons and gave her dad a spelling lesson. If she wrote “Pretty Girl” my head would have exploded! 

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1 hour ago, Spike said:

I see a huge loophole for Tony if he can find a woman who doesn't charge, 

I mean, does it count if she gets payment in kind?  I mean technically, Tony got sex in exchange for getting the women a room.  So does that count for Angela?,

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7 minutes ago, RealReality said:

I mean, does it count if she gets payment in kind?  I mean technically, Tony got sex in exchange for getting the women a room.  So does that count for Angela?,

The IRS would say yes.

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1 hour ago, Empress1 said:

Every time Clint talks to his mother, I envision his father in the background shaking his head in annoyance.

Why hasn't Megan been replaced with Maria? Sarah and Michael 100% fucked when he stayed over.

Literally every woman in Michael's life needs to get some self-respect. She's sitting around in a motel in upstate NY, like, what are you doing? You can't think of anything better to do with your time?

Lacey's father telling her to get her head out of her ass gave me my ENTIRE life.

I feel like Heath Ledger in 10 Things I Hate About You...does Michael have beer-flavored nipples or a chocolate dick (and GOOD chocolate, too, not cheap tasteless stuff)? Cause that's the only thing that makes sense. He has no job, no grasp of English, no wit, no game, no reasonable hairline...

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26 minutes ago, mamadrama said:

I feel like Heath Ledger in 10 Things I Hate About You...does Michael have beer-flavored nipples or a chocolate dick (and GOOD chocolate, too, not cheap tasteless stuff)? Cause that's the only thing that makes sense. He has no job, no grasp of English, no wit, no game, no reasonable hairline...

With those huge eyes and fivehead he reminds me of Jiminy Cricket.

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(edited)
On 2/29/2020 at 7:22 PM, hookedontv said:

You win the Internet with that one mamadrama!

You like me, you really like me!? I'd like to thank the Academy and my fellow snarkers and the massive amounts of alcohol  junk food I need to get through each episode...

Edited by mamadrama
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I’m so surprised at Michael lol I can’t believe he actually still likes Sarah lol good for you Sarah lol I know how bad you want this lol. I’m glad Cheryl can still smile after all of this, her family seems to really care and support her. I wish Clint would leave Tracy lol his parents are so sweet. I swear the Lacey/Shane/John love triangle has to be the most boring love triangle ever lol.

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(edited)
10 minutes ago, ErikaOnline said:

I’m so surprised at Michael lol I can’t believe he actually still likes Sarah lol good for you Sarah lol I know how bad you want this lol. I’m glad Cheryl can still smile after all of this, her family seems to really care and support her. I wish Clint would leave Tracy lol his parents are so sweet. I swear the Lacey/Shane/John love triangle has to be the most boring love triangle ever lol.

Lacey is valiantly trying to get these dummies to physically fight, but all chane and Chon are doing so far is talking chit about each other. 

Desperate times call for desperate measures Lacey.  It's time to make out with Chon on YOUR couch and make sure chane walks in on you two.  Has no one ever watched a soap opera, this is how you do it. 

Edited by RealReality
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Me, a few times a day: "Hey, pretty girl." "How's my pretty girl?" "Are you my pretty girl?"

Willow: "Meow."

(Aka "Pretty, Pretty Princess," "Gurrlfriennd,"and "Miss Thang." I did try "Willow My Queen" but it never stuck!)

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1 hour ago, Scout Finch said:

Me, a few times a day: "Hey, pretty girl." "How's my pretty girl?" "Are you my pretty girl?"

Willow: "Meow."

(Aka "Pretty, Pretty Princess," "Gurrlfriennd,"and "Miss Thang." I did try "Willow My Queen" but it never stuck!)

Try Willow Muh Queen.

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(edited)

It’s cute in the previews Michael lets his emotional wife step to legal wife. If his dumb ass doesn’t immediately drag emotional wife’s old ass back into that hotel I am going to scream. I hate Maria. And michael. And megan. And now Sarah. 
i am a bit impressed maria looks like she’s wearing a pandora charm bracelet - those bitches are expensive. 

Edited by Kroliosis
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(edited)

Omg these people! This really is a scripted show, and the joke is on us, right? I don't even want to imagine there are moronic asshole's like this running loose in the world. And procreating. Dear God. 

Edited by bichonblitz
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Next week's exciting description:

Life After Lockup: The Wife, The Girlfriend and The Side Chick

Sarah tells a shocking truth; Maria grills Michael; Lacey acts out behind Shane's back.

Will Sarah, MeghanMyQueen and MariaMyEmotionalWife all meet?  

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Remember back not long ago when we all squeee'd with delight the day a new episode was going to air? That was a time when the inmates had not yet gotten out of prison so the narrative was not controlled by producers and such. Whatever was going to happen, happened. And we loved it!

I miss those days.

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On 2/29/2020 at 11:07 PM, mamadrama said:

I'd take the animated cricket over Fivehead. At least Jiminy had a dapper little suit. 

And a beautiful singing voice.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m4ifzcpMX18

 

12 hours ago, PrincessPurrsALot said:

Next week's exciting description:

Life After Lockup: The Wife, The Girlfriend and The Side Chick

 

Will Sarah, MeghanMyQueen and MariaMyEmotionalWife all meet?  

And if they do, how will they juggle all the photos on the little character intro before each segment? I still chuckle over the Meghan/Michael/Sarah triptych that shunted Michael out of the way when Meghan and Sarah met.

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15 minutes ago, configdotsys said:

Remember back not long ago when we all squeee'd with delight the day a new episode was going to air?

Now we will all Squee Bastard with delight. Best streetname ever.

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On 2/29/2020 at 3:27 PM, mamadrama said:

He has no job, no grasp of English, no wit, no game, no reasonable hairline...

Just a contract on a “reality” show, complete with money and airtime for whichever side chick wants to sign up.

 

17 hours ago, bichonblitz said:

Omg these people! This really is a scripted show, and the joke is on us, right? I don't even want to imagine there are moronic asshole's like this running loose in the world. And procreating. Dear God. 

Yes, these stories are all fake as fakety fake can be. Here’s why...

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sharp_Entertainment

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4 hours ago, configdotsys said:

Remember back not long ago when we all squeee'd with delight the day a new episode was going to air? That was a time when the inmates had not yet gotten out of prison so the narrative was not controlled by producers and such. Whatever was going to happen, happened. And we loved it!

I miss those days.

I've decided that I have no use for Life After Lockup, but I'm all for Love after Lockup.  I want to see the initial meetings, everything else can vanish.

4 hours ago, essexjan said:

Now we will all Squee Bastard with delight. Best streetname ever.

I'm not sure.  It might tie with my previous favorite of Little Taco.

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I am ready to go home after work, put my feet up, and enjoy tonight's shitshow. It's my first full week back to work since battling the flu, I am exhausted, and I need some laughter in my life. This show will deliver, I'm certain of it. 

I'm going to call myself Squee Bitch from now on. Just sayin'...

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Clint's mother is one of my favorite characters.

Oh, Alice.

I'm not sure Alice has the wherewithal to become "estranged" from her sad puppydog son.  If she'd just stop handing out the five thousand dollar stacks, it would be a little bit of a start.

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I am lmao at Maria saying she knows how Sarah is...you haven’t even met her...

also, can we retire “made me feel some kind of way”? Hasn’t that phrase outlived its usefulness?

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1 minute ago, kacesq said:

I am lmao at Maria saying she knows how Sarah is...you haven’t even met her...

also, can we retire “made me feel some kind of way”? Hasn’t that phrase outlived its usefulness?

Yes, what kind of way, what kind of way.  Ridiculous phrase.

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1 minute ago, candall said:

Andrea's definitely a drama queen, but OTOH, what wife finds a handful of condoms in her out-of-state husband's pocket and skates on past it?

True but I think she enjoys this. The condoms just give her a better reason than usual 

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If I were that friend of Sarah's who has been supporting her through all this and Sarah's fake "I'm a strong independent woman" bullshit I would feel like slapping her after she told me she slept with Michael.

Andrea will never make it as a Mormon. You are supposed to keep up a good front and keep your skeletons in the closet not air them on television.

"Chane Cheated"

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(edited)

Lacey is watching this right now, green with envy.   If only Chon had turned out to be the father of (one of) her children, people couldn't keep expecting her to ditch him and concentrate on her husband.  "He's the father of my child--he's always going to be in my life!"  

"We've been friends since high school" just doesn't have the same ring.

Edited by candall
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