S08.E13: Doomed or Devoted

[princelina]

55 minutes ago, Yeah No said:

Keith telling his uncle that he hasn't told her he loves her yet and that he's about 3/4 of the way there told me why Kristine has that concern.  Keith says he is aware that he has to change that - Hopefully he will before decision day to put an end to any of her reservations about his feelings for her.  I think that's why she seemed so on the fence about him in this episode.  Despite Keith's drawbacks, his heart does seem to be in the right place.

IMO that’s just show bullshit - AJ says they’re in “kove” because “k comes before l” and now Keith is in “LOV” without the E yet 🙄

[Ms.C.]

3 hours ago, Straycat80 said:

I’m taping this. So this isn’t decision week? 

I thought decision day too.  

[Ms.C.]

2 hours ago, Melig8r said:

Yay Steph - you sound so reasonable - now you need to step away from the crazy man

She needs to put her thoughts on the table honestly.   Confront him.  He’ll pout but maybe come back and realize she’s his best and maybe last chance. 

[Ms.C.]

2 hours ago, EctoGammat said:

Don’t you just love when you’re having an important conversation with your significant other and they interrupt you with ‘you gonna eat that?’

He does not listen or connect at all 

[Ms.C.]

Will and Jasmin have nothing in common.  Very different people. Diff goals. Diff likes/dislikes. Diff values.  Totally unsuited to each other. Both know it.  Will needs to date a social worker type with same sensitivities as he.  

[antfitz]

57 minutes ago, Ms.C. said:

He does not listen or connect at all 

 You have to be talking about Luke

[antfitz]

4 hours ago, b2H said:

Kate should have left that mind-bending sociopath a few weeks ago.  I was married to someone like him and was oh so glad to finally get away.  She can’t see it yet, but take the divorce and run.

Absolutely!  I wanted her to make the decision to walk away and not wait for him to make some decision. He is using her, and as someone said, he is gas-lighting her.  I cannot stand him I think he is a sociopath of some sort.

[Ilovepie]

I cannot believe they are dragging this shite out for another week!

Both AJ and Luke started talking about food when their wives starting calling them on their shit. Kate and Steph should both run.

Jasmine and Will are a total mismatch, but I did feel kind of sorry for Jas when she was sad she was right back where she started. Hey Jas, maybe next time don’t tell your significant other that you just met that you expect him to foot most of the bills......

I really hope it was just a lot of editing nonsense and Keith & Kristine end up together because they are really cute.

My guess judging from previous seasons is that all 4 say they want to stay married on decision day but only AJ/Steph and Keith/Kristine actually stay married.....although why Steph would want that crazy loon is beyond me....sweet lord this season sucked.....

[Cleopatra C.]

I think Christine should stay with Keith.  You can see how much he adores her and he is a sweetheart to her. I don't get why Luke doesn't want to get a divorce.. what is he getting out of it? I feel sorry for Jasmine, she's going out of her way trying to impress Will and getting nothing at all out of it. She's been cooking dinner for him getting dressed up trying to look sexy for him and he is so blah. He is like a bump on a log with no emotion at all. He doesn't act into her at all. I would totally stop doing all of that shit for him!! She gets nowhere with him and he is so not worth it and he's not cute or attractive in any way!! Plus he's cheap too!! She will continue to be disappointed if she ends up staying with him and she will have a loveless marriage.  I think AJ and Stephanie are cute together when he is not throwing one of his tantrums and is treating her right. Thats the only problem they have  but I don't think that's going to change because he has zero insight to how he is behaving. Kate deserves so much better. The longer she stays with Luke the more depressed and down she's going to be. It seems like he was just unhappy with how she looks because he was saying in the beginning he is attracted to dark haired girls and different ethnicities and Kate is the opposite of what he said he told the experts that he likes. I dont think Kate is ugly like he thinks she is. What was he expecting? He should feel lucky that she's still even talking to him. I thought tonight was the decision episode too. I didn't want to wait another week to find out.

[albaniantv]

This episode did not do much for me -- they all seem a bit depressed.

Like the air has slowly gone out of the balloons. Maybe because all the glitter stuff is over: wedding, honeymoon, sexercises, new apartment, organize party to meet friends, 1 month weekender, boys and girls nites out. 

A couple of you mentioned that all 8 have had trouble connecting with relationships and that's presumably why they agreed to Married at First Sight. So, we do know, I guess, that's a reason to keep hanging on to something that does not seem like a great relationship, or even a good relationship from our point of view. It could be that all 4 couples are actually experiencing the best adult relationship they have had so far.

I would love to know if that's the case -- it would make me way less judgemental. Maybe the professionals will fill us in a bit on the backstories--God knows they haven't done much else this season. Ok -- they looked stern about Luke, but that was ages ago.

[silverspoons]

I was just watching season 1 again, is Vaughn still available for Jasmine? That is her match! Vaughn tells Monet he wants to be the man and pay the rent and power bills and pay for all dinners and stuff they do together.  She was a strong women that wanted to take care of herself. There is Jasmine's provider! He does exist! 

Tonight's edit was weird, back and forth to the one month anniversary? Even though I think maybe 1 will work out long term, I honestly do not know if any will say no next week? The lack of spoilers and social media at least has kept me guessing. 

[STRIDER1]

Thats the exact quote from puke when they were watching the ceremony

What I then yelled at the tv screen was : " God, I want to punch you so bad "

Kate looked like a deer in headlights when she saw the video, meanwhile puke was faking it for the cameras again by acting all smirky, happy and touching kate on the arm playfully.

Gag, hurl, vomit, yack, barf and puke !!!

Edited March 27, 2019 by STRIDER1
typo

[STRIDER1]

Holy !@#$% thats hilarious AF. I hope she at least gives it half a chance and doesnt stab it first hahaha 😂😂😂

Meanwhile to me , it seemed like that kate was trying to "convince" her friends, umm I mean herself why she should still stay with puke.

Every single question or valid point that her friends made as to why they think kate should just bail on this sham of a marriage, she didnt even have an answer or reply for them as to why she is not considering divorce but rather want to stay with puke. she either nodded or looked down each time.

Kate friends : wake up and open your eyes kate, this sham marriage is going nowhere and will only end up with you being hurt

Kate : Im too afraid to open my eyes

Edited March 27, 2019 by STRIDER1
typo

[Crazy Bird Lady]

8 hours ago, Yeah No said:

Unfortunately, Kate has allowed this to happen to herself. I don't know if even her friends can make her snap out of his [Luke's] nasty spell.

Been there, done that. Didn't want the T-shirt. It took a happy marriage and (a dozen years later) a year of therapy to finally let that pain go completely. 

It may not be part of the legal definition, but manipulative, gaslighting posers are as toxic as any abusive spouse.

[Yeah No]

4 hours ago, Cleopatra C. said:

I don't get why Luke doesn't want to get a divorce.. what is he getting out of it? 

I think part of the reason Puke went into this was to prove to someone, either his family, friends or both that he is ready for marriage.  So he is able to prove them all wrong by getting married and showing them that despite everything, he was the one that wanted to stay married no matter what.  Then when his mother disapproved of the show and called it a mockery of marriage, of course he would want to prove her wrong about that too by acting like the devoted husband, despite all of the abundant evidence to the contrary to show that he himself has made a mockery of his relationship with Kate. 

Plus I am sure there is $$ motivating him too.  ☹️

[Yeah No]

1 hour ago, STRIDER1 said:

Holy !@#$% thats hilarious AF. I hope she at least gives it half a chance and doesnt stab it first hahaha 😂😂😂

LOL, maybe she was mentally stabbing Puke with that fork!!! 🤣

[Meowwww]

1 hour ago, Crazy Bird Lady said:

Been there, done that. Didn't want the T-shirt. It took a happy marriage and (a dozen years later) a year of therapy to finally let that pain go completely. 

It may not be part of the legal definition, but manipulative, gaslighting posers are as toxic as any abusive spouse.

You and me both. I will have regular nightmares, 10 years later. Luke gives me a visceral reaction.  I want to run when they come on.  AJ’s temper gets me, too.  

Eta at dinner, when he tells her she isn’t remembering correctly, and she says she doesn’t forget something that hurts....whoa, gaslighting, manipulation, typical narcissist speak. 

Edited March 27, 2019 by Meowwww

[spunky]

9 hours ago, Gem 10 said:

I wouldn’t trust A.J. with a helpless animal.  He might do something drastic with that temper.

True. He just needs to go back to being alone.

[Drogo]

The way Kate's friends speak to her, it seems clear they have been watching out for her for a long time.  That's probably why Friend2 holds her fork at the ready, like she's on Cell Block A.  Kate is the Baby Spice. 

Similarly, the surprise Jasmine's friends had over their lack of intimacy tells me she is likely the Superfreak in her particular circle of friends. 

Kristine seems a little wishy-washy these days.  You couldn't wake stand up to say your final pre-DDay goodbye to him? Keith is going to be destroyed if his Queen breaks up with him; that boy's strung out on lov. 

[Jax7917]

17 minutes ago, spunky said:

True. He just needs to go back to being alone.

But then he would go back to eating alone, and as we know, that's his worst fear .

[configdotsys]

Oy….

AJ says he’s not in “top physical shape.” How about not in any shape. He’s infantile and has zero reservations about acting like a toddler and throwing a fit in front of other people. I would absolutely die of embarrassment if my spouse behaved that way in public. Then Stephanie runs out behind him which is further cause for embarrassment. 

It feels to me like we have not seen a lot of Kristine and Keith. They are the most difficult for me to figure out. Keith is all about how great things are and the happily ever after thing but then he does the “I can’t say I love her.” I got a bit of an arrogant vibe from him when he was going on about not loving her yet but saying she loves him. I know he wants kids immediately and she does not but he didn't say that was a dealbreaker. 

I think Jasmine’s friend was pushing it a bit by calling Will not a go getter. Will is a go getter for things that he wants. I don’t know where she is getting that she thinks Will wants to stay together unless he is a totally different person off camera. Give me a break Jasmine. She made it sound like she was leaving for the night because she needed space when the show did that, not her.

I can’t deal with Kate. The wedding video made her realize that she wants to stay with this asshole? She seriously deserves whatever misery she gets. It took her friends pointing out what she knows full well to go from that to doubtful? When Luke said “I don’t want to get a divorce,” during that restaurant scene, I bet my life that that was edited in from the scene in their bedroom. The sound was not the same before or after that comment. LOL @ Kate saying “He’s not like that all the time.” I just can't with her.

AJ and Kate’s restaurant scene looked and sounded like a soap opera. I don’t see much of a backbone in Stephanie because she’s so desperate to have a husband. Even her comments to him were about “we have seen each other in not the best of light.” It should have been about him, not about them. But she’s walking on egg shells around him and will do that forever. He’s just too much of a high maintenance baby. He is all in and scared that Stephanie will leave him. 

I know that's all dramatic for television but the scenes of them spending a night alone were weird. Everyone is staring at their rings and all sad because they are all alone. For one night? Lord. I get saying it feels weird after being together 24/7 for the past 8 weeks but jeebus, these growns ups acted like they didn't know what to do with themselves because the other was not there. As if that’s the reason to stay with someone: so I won’t be alone. Good luck with that, folks.

Someone mentioned that these people get money if they stay together on Decision Day. If that’s the case, they have nothing to lose by staying together for the show and divorcing later. I am just not looking forward to next week because I think it'll be a major disappointment.

[Drogo]

11 minutes ago, Jaclyn88 said:

But then he would go back to eating alone, and as we know, that's his worst fear .

Because he won't be able to steal his wife's fish when she's not done with it. 

[Jax7917]

14 minutes ago, configdotsys said:

It feels to me like we have not seen a lot of Kristine and Keith. They are the most difficult for me to figure out. Keith is all about how great things are and the happily ever after thing but then he does the “I can’t say I love her.” I got a bit of an arrogant vibe from him when he was going on about not loving her yet but saying she loves him. I know he wants kids immediately and she does not but he didn't say that was a dealbreaker. 

Eh, I think the whole I'm not sure if I love him/ her yet has a lot to do with production. Danielle did that last season with Bobby. Like we know she clearly loved him and we knew they'd obviously stay together.. they were the most tight knit couple out of all the seasons IMO. and they still did the whole thing with Danielle being unsure about Bobby and not there yet with loving him. They do that every season because the draw to the show is , will the couples stay together when given the chance to divorce? Keith and Kristine will stay together and magically by next week, Keith will be able to put the "E" at the end of the word love.

[Elizzikra]

Quote

Keith telling his uncle that he hasn't told her he loves her yet and that he's about 3/4 of the way there told me why Kristine has that concern.  Keith says he is aware that he has to change that - Hopefully he will before decision day to put an end to any of her reservations about his feelings for her.  I think that's why she seemed so on the fence about him in this episode.  Despite Keith's drawbacks, his heart does seem to be in the right place.

Quote

Keith and Kristine will stay together and magically by next week, Keith will be able to put the "E" at the end of the word love.

I was actually pretty happy to hear Keith say that he couldn't quite yet say that he loves Kristine. They have only known each other for seven weeks. Everyone on this show, including the experts, makes it sounds like D-Day is the one and only chance for these couples to split. It's not. All they really have to decide on D-Day is if there is enough between them to continue to work on the marriage and give it a shot.  They don't have to have fallen in love by D-Day. They can divorce later if it doesn't work out. I think this is where Kristine and Keith are. I see them as a good match with enough raw material to possibly make it work. 

What I also really like about Keith is that he has heard what his wife didn't like about how he was in the relationship and he has not only worked to address that, but he has seen it as changing him for the better (for example, making breakfast on the minimoon and talking about how Kristine has helped him see that cooking "is not a spectator sport"). I don't think he's trying to turn into someone that he's not but he is compromising because he cares about Kristine and wants her to be happy and for their relationship to work. I do think he will be crushed if Kristine decides she wants to split.

Re: Luke and Kate - I can't stand Luke. I think he's awful. BUT - Kate has more than enough information and support to inform a decision to leave Luke. I won't have much sympathy for her if she stays after all she has experienced. Whatever reason Luke has for not wanting to divorce, it's not good. She is obviously miserable in the marriage and it's not going to turn itself around. 

[aphroditewitch]

I feel like Kristine and Keith could be the Lilly and Tom of this season. Great chemistry and they seem to really like each other and will probably stay together on decision day but they have different values and goals which could lead to a split months after decision day.

[Ilovepie]

27 minutes ago, aphroditewitch said:

I feel like Kristine and Keith could be the Lilly and Tom of this season. 

You may be right, but I would still consider them a success. They both have admitted that they were given a spouse that is not what they wanted, but maybe what they needed, since the types they picked on their own weren’t working. I think they both could walk away learning something about themselves and that would still be a win.

Regarding Luke saying “I looked so beautiful”, I do think it would have been funny if someone like Ricky Bobby had said it because his wife was confident that her spouse was attracted to her and he had expressed how beautiful he found her, many times over. When Luke said it, it just highlighted how unattractive he finds Kate and it comes off completely douchey, as always.....

[scruffy73]

1 hour ago, Drogo said:

Because he won't be able to steal his wife's fish when she's not done with it. 

My fave gif. So appropriate for Kate/Luke and even AJ/Stephanie. I hate both Luke and Kate AND AJ....equally. They all suck and deserve to be alone. Dysfunctional 

[Neurochick]

Here is what I see.  

Some of these people, REALLY want to be married.  That's why Kate, Stephanie and Jasmine are probably going to stay married; not because they really love their husbands and can see a life with them, but because they don't want to fail, they see divorce as failure.  Also, they want to be married.  To them being married trumps everything, even if their partner is crazy/doesn't really seem to care about them.  It's more important to have the label, "married." 

Also, some of them are afraid that this is their last chance at marriage.  They don't want divorce because the thought of not being with anybody, the thought of being single forever scares them.  

I don't think Kate should stay with Luke because his actions go one way and his words, another.  I don't think Jasmine should stay with Will because, at least to me, he's clearly not attracted to her; I don't think Stephanie should stay with AJ because I think AJ has a lot of issues that could have started with his accident; I don't know if he's in therapy, but maybe he should consider it.

[discoprincessthe2]

1 hour ago, Drogo said:

Because he won't be able to steal his wife's fish when she's not done with it. 

"Uh...what are you doing?"

Edited March 27, 2019 by discoprincessthe2

[Retired at last]

I was reading this board last night since the show hadn't started out here in AZ and made the decision that I wouldn't miss anything by not watching, so I didn't. I switched back a few times, but it was a waste. She stories, same clothes, same scenarios, nothing new. This is the second season I have seen and I don't remember last season being this long and dragged out. If they are married for 7 weeks, as they keep saying, this season is too long. One show about picking people, the wedding show, one for each week and then D Day. Done. Maybe one for the reunion. This is almost twice as long as it should be, and we can tell they are using shots from all over this season because they don't bother to change clothes or the scenery.

So, are there 2 shows left? Next week is D Day and we know they will all stay together for the $. Although they did show that scene where Pastor Cal gets all upset and is "so disappointed to hear something because they have so much potential." I am guessing that will be something silly and when he says it, whoever disappointed him will change his/her mind and stay together.

I know that there is nothing real about reality TV and I feel mad at myself for getting drawn into the Kate/Puke story and feeling compassion for her. So, I will admit to being played by the show producers and angry when we saw that Kate had actually had sex with him. Well played, show. However, all this did was ensure that I won't watch again. I look forward to reading here next time, but I won't waste time, energy, and emotion on this again.

[KateHearts]

10 hours ago, Ms.C. said:

She needs to put her thoughts on the table honestly.   Confront him.  He’ll pout but maybe come back and realize she’s his best and maybe last chance. 

She tried and what does AJ do at dinner in the middle of her speaking? Interrupts to ask her if he can scavenge her plate.  I can't even look at his goofy animated face; I can't imagine dealing with the swings between acting hugely immature and losing his shit over having to work out at a gym or navigate to the airport.

 Kate is like a poor kicked puppy who forgets five minutes after it's kicked and gets excited to be given a treat. Her face when he threw her a scrap of a semi-compliment was pathetic. I become infuriated when he gives her his condescending, fake smile during their conversations, but she reeks of desperation at this point so I don't have much sympathy left to eke out.

I have very little to say about Jasmine and Will because, as people, neither one is horrible but as a match they are not meshing. Petty aside: Jasmine uses the word "feelings" or "feel" (pronounced "fillings" or "fill") way too much and because of her weird pronunciation I've become hyperaware of it.

K/K are cute and I think he's working hard to become more responsible and adult-like, which is appealing. I think they'll stick it out and she is hemming and hawing for plot excitement.

[Elizzikra]

Quote

It's more important to have the label, "married." 

I think it's more than that and I get it although I don't agree with it. I think they all want partnership and can get some of the trappings of it with their current matches, though I don't think you can have a true partnership without mutual love and respect. They don't want to sleep alone - Jasmine noted that Will's side of the bed felt cold and empty. I know we are sick of AJ talking about no longer eating dinner alone but that's another thing. I married late and some of the best parts of being married are really mundane. My husband and I grocery shop together. It wasn't awful to shop alone before we were married but it's much more fun as a couple and it's a little alone time that we get to carve out in the middle of a busy week. I think that's what these people are really after and not just the supposed "cache" of being able to call themselves married.

I also was struck by Jasmine saying she wants children and doesn't want to be married for five years or more before having them. I don't think that she wants to be a single mom and the clock is ticking. So that's another practical reason to want to stay married. I don't think she and Will are a good match and I don't know that they can mix up enough chemistry to even create a baby, but I do think he'd be a good father and I think she knows that.

Quote

I don't think Stephanie should stay with AJ because I think AJ has a lot of issues that could have started with his accident; I don't know if he's in therapy, but maybe he should consider it.

I think AJ could definitely benefit from therapy and I think that the fear of losing Stephanie would be sufficient motivation for him to pursue it and take it seriously. I think those two could work IF AJ worked on his temper and frustration and could make progress on dealing with those in a healthier manner. I don't like AJ much but I don't think he's a lost cause.

[aphroditewitch]

Earlier in the season Jasmine mentioned her previous relationship. She and the ex were together for several years and I think they lived together. According to her, they split because he did not want kids.

[discoprincessthe2]

5 minutes ago, aphroditewitch said:

Earlier in the season Jasmine mentioned her previous relationship. She and the ex were together for several years and I think they lived together. According to her, they split because he did not want kids.

He also decided to become a monk.

[Ohwell]

44 minutes ago, KateHearts said:

Petty aside: Jasmine uses the word "feelings" or "feel" (pronounced "fillings" or "fill") way too much and because of her weird pronunciation I've become hyperaware of it.

At one point, Jasmine said "Will and I's."  I've heard people make that mistake before, usually on reality shows.  

[ezzy4]

Obviously none of us can actually diagnose Puke on social media . . . but . . . I see so many similarities between Puke and my husband of 27 years.  My H is diagnosed with Narcissistic Personality Disorder with several Antisocial traits.  It is NOT a pretty diagnosis.  He is considered a "sociopath".  This is how they look.  They are not all sexual deviants.  They are condescending, glib, self centered, lairs who gaslight people around them.  Their words don't match their actions.  They throw others under the bus to achieve some "upper hand" in relationships.  They think this is the way all people view relationships (as constant "black and white" / "win and lose" sort of game).  To feel better about themselves they must make others feel worse about themselves.  They think everyone is lying and manipulating them, and they have every right to do it back in spades to others.

Withholding affection is a trademark of this sort of personality.

To outside people, they can appear fairly normal though with a disconnect.  It just seemed so classic that the other men are talking about the pending decision in front of them and Puke literally has given it no thought at all.  They protect themselves by staying detached and unresponsive (and unresponsible).  They keep their options open and their feelings they can acknowledge to themselves guarded.

They tend to be passive aggressive.  (I think it's not easy to live in the world they think we all live in . . . it's a constant "fight or flight" mode.  So they have constant anger.)

They did not develop empathy for whatever reason. 

But they want a relationship.  They want someone to be devoted to them.  They want the  benefits they see others getting.  But because they do not have empathy they don't know that they also have to give back.

I would never judge Kate harshly.  This stuff is CRAZY MAKING.  She is just in a constant state of confusion now.  I wish her the best.  I hope she RUNS!!!

(And I will add that Puke's mother just gave me the CREEPS; that weird hand holding, looking sincerely concerned and then SLAMMING Kate with her words "Soooooo how will it feel when you realize what a failure you are???"  It honestly reminded me so much of my MIL.  I can see the dynamic that may have disabled Puke.  It's really all so sad.)

 

[configdotsys]

1 hour ago, Elizzikra said:

I think it's more than that and I get it although I don't agree with it. I think they all want partnership and can get some of the trappings of it with their current matches, though I don't think you can have a true partnership without mutual love and respect. They don't want to sleep alone - Jasmine noted that Will's side of the bed felt cold and empty. I know we are sick of AJ talking about no longer eating dinner alone but that's another thing. I married late and some of the best parts of being married are really mundane. My husband and I grocery shop together. It wasn't awful to shop alone before we were married but it's much more fun as a couple and it's a little alone time that we get to carve out in the middle of a busy week. I think that's what these people are really after and not just the supposed "cache" of being able to call themselves married.

I understand what you are saying but I assume that before you married, you were attracted to your spouse and they you. You enjoyed each other's company and married because you were compatible, so of course shopping and doing whatever is enjoyable because of how you feel about each other. Would it be nearly as fun if your spouse criticized everything you put into the shopping cart, as I believe Jasmine might? Or whined "I hate that," and storm out of the store like AJ might?

I get the mundane being very satisfying because I could say the same about my spouse but I don't think it's accurate to project our own lives onto these people because they did not meet and marry under the same circumstances that we did. Some of them have major incompatibilities that will make the mundane even more stressful if they choose to be unhappy or tolerate things that they should not in exchange for being able to say they are married. 

Edited March 27, 2019 by configdotsys

[Lusterleaf]

This was a waste of an episode. They are really dragging this out until the end.

I think Stephanie will stay with AJ but his tantrums are a bit much. If he didn't want to work out at the gym, he could have just walked out without making a fuss. I also think it was rude of him to completely disregard the fact that Stephanie was trying to talk to him about his behavior at dinner and he ignored it and was more interested in eating her food.

Kate really needs to listen to her friends. It seems like every time Luke speaks to her "I like you" "I find some of the things you do attractive", she gets sucked back in. I would not be surprised if they choose to stay together on decision day, but I can't see them lasting.

Will and Jasmine honestly bore me and I find myself fast forwarding through their segments. Seems like Will is going to choose divorce, I'd be shocked if he says that he wants to stay with Jasmine.

Kristine and Keith will stay together but of course they always have to play up the drama by making us think that Kristine isn't sure.

[bichonblitz]

9 hours ago, Cleopatra C. said:

I think Christine should stay with Keith.  You can see how much he adores her and he is a sweetheart to her. I don't get why Luke doesn't want to get a divorce.. what is he getting out of it?

A bonus check? It's the only plausible explanation for his sudden turn around the last few episodes. He goes from being repulsed to wanting to stay married. Liar, liar, hipster pants on fire!

[shouldbedancing]

18 minutes ago, ezzy4 said:

Obviously none of us can actually diagnose Puke on social media . . . but . . . I see so many similarities between Puke and my husband of 27 years.  My H is diagnosed with Narcissistic Personality Disorder with several Antisocial traits.  It is NOT a pretty diagnosis.  He is considered a "sociopath".  This is how they look.  They are not all sexual deviants.  They are condescending, glib, self centered, lairs who gaslight people around them.  Their words don't match their actions.  They throw others under the bus to achieve some "upper hand" in relationships.  They think this is the way all people view relationships (as constant "black and white" / "win and lose" sort of game).  To feel better about themselves they must make others feel worse about themselves.  They think everyone is lying and manipulating them, and they have every right to do it back in spades to others.

Withholding affection is a trademark of this sort of personality.

To outside people, they can appear fairly normal though with a disconnect.  It just seemed so classic that the other men are talking about the pending decision in front of them and Puke literally has given it no thought at all.  They protect themselves by staying detached and unresponsive (and unresponsible).  They keep their options open and their feelings they can acknowledge to themselves guarded.

They tend to be passive aggressive.  (I think it's not easy to live in the world they think we all live in . . . it's a constant "fight or flight" mode.  So they have constant anger.)

They did not develop empathy for whatever reason. 

But they want a relationship.  They want someone to be devoted to them.  They want the  benefits they see others getting.  But because they do not have empathy they don't know that they also have to give back.

I would never judge Kate harshly.  This stuff is CRAZY MAKING.  She is just in a constant state of confusion now.  I wish her the best.  I hope she RUNS!!!

(And I will add that Puke's mother just gave me the CREEPS; that weird hand holding, looking sincerely concerned and then SLAMMING Kate with her words "Soooooo how will it feel when you realize what a failure you are???"  It honestly reminded me so much of my MIL.  I can see the dynamic that may have disabled Puke.  It's really all so sad.)

 

I believe this but the question is... why didn't the "experts" pick up on this and screen him out?

[configdotsys]

3 minutes ago, Lusterleaf said:

Will and Jasmine honestly bore me and I find myself fast forwarding through their segments. Seems like Will is going to choose divorce, I'd be shocked if he says that he wants to stay with Jasmine.

It was confusing to hear Jasmine talking about how she believes Will wants to stay married but she is the one that is unsure. She's desperate to stay married and "flip his switch" but he's obviously not interested.

I think Jasmine would be the type to say she wants a divorce not because that is what she wants, but so she can look like it was her decision to end it and not Will's.

I think most, if not all, will stay married to get the money. There's no reason not to when they can divorce off camera in a month or two. Or is there some sort of clause that says they are given the money if they stay married for a least a year from D-Day? Not sure as this is my first season watching this show.

[bichonblitz]

7 minutes ago, Lusterleaf said:

Kristine and Keith will stay together but of course they always have to play up the drama by making us think that Kristine isn't sure.

Is Keith the one that kept the naked pics of his ex on his phone? If yes, then I can see why Kristine isn't sure.

[bichonblitz]

2 minutes ago, configdotsys said:

I think most, if not all, will stay married to get the money. There's no reason not to when they can divorce off camera in a month or two.

I agree. This whole final decision day is so stupid. Say you will stay together, so the "experts" look good for matching them. Then after filming they go their separate ways (after the checks clear). Easy, peasy. 

[DocTerv]

Join me if you will for a moment of fan fic. The time is sometime after decision day. AJ is pitching his tenth tantrum of the week because the garbage bag does not properly fit his preferred trash container.

Steph: (suddenly looking like a very annoyed Honey Badger) ENOUGH! CUT THAT SHIT OUT! If you can not start dealing with minor frustrations like a normal adult human I AM OUTTA here!

AJ: snivels pathetically and then goes into shock because for some reason, no one in his life ever told him his behavior was inappropriate and embarrassing. Then he either A) cuts that shit out and becomes a decent husband or B) throws a larger tantrum and Steph skips on out the door

And....scene. 

[2727]

1 hour ago, discoprincessthe2 said:

"Uh...what are you doing?"

AJ, that haircut isn't helping.

It's one thing for Stephanie to feel embarrassed or on edge when AJ throws a tantrum, but I think the way he talks over her and doesn't listen is much worse. That behavior is aimed directly at her, not the production crew or a roadmap, and is personally belittling.

[gonecrackers]

I empathize, believe me @ezzy4, as I'm in a similar boat, & that's real life unfortunately.

I agree it's hard to judge, but for me it's because this is TV, & there is just so much damn editing involved. That 'conversation' between K&L was so disjointed & made no sense. They also edited in statements they've both made at other times, & it was obvious because of the way it was said with the camera not on the person speaking at the time. One example was when they obviously replayed Luke saying "I don't want a divorce." in that drawn out, odd vocal tone he did when they were speaking on the bed. I knew right away he didn't just say that; the whole thing was messed with by production. We are apparently not allowed to hear how an actual conversation goes down between these two.

My thoughts reg. that are maybe they've already made an agreement we're not privy to, yet - either to stay together for a while for some extra cash, or they'll finally, mercifully, stop the madness & choose divorce.

But either way the reason I've lost sympathy for Kate is Luke really gave her no reason to feel attached, that we saw anyway, as he was pushing her away with comments & actions right from the beginning at the wedding. Then the nasty comments & weird sex on the honeymoon... she had no history with him so it should've been a no brainer to bolt (unless she's getting something out of this from the show we're not aware of ). She doesn't seem to have had a decent father figure, so maybe she attached because we tend to gravitate toward what we're comfortable with, even if it's abusive. But, she has no strings, no years invested, no kids to watch out for - but does have a good support system of friends, her own place to live still in tact, her own job & money (independence) & a paid divorce if she takes it (& hasn't opted contractually for more $; in that case it's all fake, which is possible too).  Some people are stuck in bad situations, but she's not stuck at all, so that's where I lose sympathy.

[aphroditewitch]

6 minutes ago, configdotsys said:

I think most, if not all, will stay married to get the money. There's no reason not to when they can divorce off camera in a month or two. Or is there some sort of clause that says they are given the money if they stay married for a least a year from D-Day? Not sure as this is my first season watching this show.

What money? I don't think they make as much as I have seen various articles claim. I doubt they are getting more than $10,000 before taxes for the entire season. And more realistically I would actually put the real number they get much lower than that. As far as I know, a contract has never been leaked from this show. 

[lids]

When I started watching in season 1, it was said that if couples agreed to divorce at D-day, the show would pay for the divorce. That way the couples were never out of any money.

Now, people are saying the participants are given money to stay together after the show. I think that is speculation but I would love to hear more.

I do believe that current couples see the lucrative opportunities that were given to previous successful marriages and they may feel incentive to stay together to try to take advantage of that. And I could totally see the contract saying something like: Couples who stay together past D-day agree to film updates and subsequent shows at a pay rate of 1.5x the previous salary or something like that.

[Jeanne222]

15 hours ago, Crazy Bird Lady said:

A wise question from Kate's friend:

"Is he [Puke] really worth your time and energy and respect, if he's not willing to give you those same things?"

Luke's good in bed and Kate wants to be married.  Luke enjoys somebody he can manipulate!  They will both say yes!  Sad but true.

15 hours ago, Drogo said:

SexyAF.. the next time AJ eats your fish after you just explicitly said you aren't finished with it, stab him in his porky little fucking hand with your fork. 

I suspect AJ  has some money and for him... she puts up with him!  They will stay married!

15 hours ago, TMI said:

Kate has grown into a life of abusive behavior....this girl is NUTS!...listen to your friends and open up your eyes.

Nope she wants to be married Kate at any expense.  she'll turn on her friends before deplorable Luke!

15 hours ago, EctoGammat said:

Don’t you just love when you’re having an important conversation with your significant other and they interrupt you with ‘you gonna eat that?’

I would have stabbed him then I would be on SNAPPED!

In conclusion they are all going to stay together.  Jasmine will continue working with Will.  She likes him and I think he likes her!  Kristine and Keith are this year's sweetheart s.  He tries and she knows!

Edited March 27, 2019 by Jeanne222

[configdotsys]

19 minutes ago, aphroditewitch said:

What money? I don't think they make as much as I have seen various articles claim. I doubt they are getting more than $10,000 before taxes for the entire season. And more realistically I would actually put the real number they get much lower than that. As far as I know, a contract has never been leaked from this show. 

4 minutes ago, lids said:

When I started watching in season 1, it was said that if couples agreed to divorce at D-day, the show would pay for the divorce. That way the couples were never out of any money.

Now, people are saying the participants are given money to stay together after the show. I think that is speculation but I would love to hear more.

I do believe that current couples see the lucrative opportunities that were given to previous successful marriages and they may feel incentive to stay together to try to take advantage of that. And I could totally see the contract saying something like: Couples who stay together past D-day agree to film updates and subsequent shows at a pay rate of 1.5x the previous salary or something like that.

I don't want to present false information but I swear that I read on this forum that the couples receive money if they stay together on decision day. Maybe I am wrong but I swear I remember reading that and it making me look at D-day in a whole new light. If I'm mistaken, I apologize.