Mykelti

[Sofa Sloth]

16 minutes ago, Kohola3 said:

She has GOT to be kidding.  This is like some sort of bizarre spoof.  The fact that she's serious makes it all the more, well, disturbing.

#lularoegoals

 

Is she actually trying to sell those mismatched rags or mock models? Either way it’s hilarious.  Also #girlboss? Oh honey no, you are a sucker and at best a customer, but in no way a boss. 

Edited June 29, 2019 by Sofa Sloth

[DakotaJustice]

That dress looks awful on her. Plus the tag is still on.

Edited June 29, 2019 by DakotaJustice

[DaphneCat]

4 minutes ago, DakotaJustice said:

That dress looks awful on her. Plus the tag is still on.

The tag is still on because she thinks she looks so good she can sell this.  She takes ONE good picture and then this.  ALL of the outfits look terrible.

[LilWharveyGal]

I'm confused by the background.  A tinsel curtain...and a rack of mugs??

ETA:  @Sofa Sloth LOL!  Cue up a chorus of Lighten Up, It's Just Fashion:  

Edited June 29, 2019 by LilWharveyGal

[Sofa Sloth]

55 minutes ago, LilWharveyGal said:

I'm confused by the background.  A tinsel curtain...and a rack of mugs??

It’s Fashun Daarling! (In Mykelti’s misguided whimsical world anyway 😂)  

ETA: @LilWharveyGal love it! great minds think alike, I was thinking of that clip too 😉 

Edited June 29, 2019 by Sofa Sloth

[Galloway Cave]

Good lord, those are some strange poses and I have no idea what is happening in the first one. What is bulging under her dress?

[Sofa Sloth]

11 minutes ago, Galloway Cave said:

Good lord, those are some strange poses and I have no idea what is happening in the first one. What is bulging under her dress?

I know right? I couldn’t work that out either, it’s like an alien bony body part protruding from her hipbone. Surely that’s not her leg? And the horrific ‘come hither’ trout pout. It’s all very 80’s glamour shot. I think I found her model inspiration, tinsel curtain and all. 

[ginger90]

5 hours ago, Galloway Cave said:

Good lord, those are some strange poses and I have no idea what is happening in the first one. What is bulging under her dress?

I think 🤔 it’s her leg?

She said in the comments that those pictures were in her LuLaNo room. There may be a need for a safe word!

From her stories:

Edited June 29, 2019 by ginger90

[Kohola3]

Does the LLHellNo Big Book of Sales Techniques mandate closing your eyes and grabbing two items from the closet to wear?  Doesn't matter if they even contain the same colors or the prints, when put together, make your eyes bleed?

Can't you see FT shooting these?  "Work it, baby, work it!  More lips, more lips!  You're happy, you're sexy, you're the boss lady, you love paper nails and hideous rags!  Tilt your head - more, more, a little more...."

[DakotaJustice]

Saddness?? 

She went to college, right?

[ginger90]

Someone asked in the comments if the patterns were supposed to go together.

She hasn’t answered. 🤷🏼‍♀️

[Kohola3]

19 minutes ago, ginger90 said:

Someone asked in the comments if the patterns were supposed to go together.

If they have to ask, they are as clueless as she is.

[deirdra]

3 hours ago, DakotaJustice said:

Saddness?? 

She went to college, right?

She droped out because it was quit harrd.  😉

[SongbirdHollow]

On 6/21/2019 at 10:12 AM, AZChristian said:

I use Impress nails from Wal-mart.  Yep.  Five minutes, and my nails look great . . . which Mykelti's product don't.

I just got these last night and wow! I can't stop looking at my hands! Love them!

[Mahamid Frauded Me]

14 hours ago, ginger90 said:

4 pictures.....

Does anyone else think it looks like her head is going to fall off? The poses , oh my!

That dress looks like a beach towel I have. Does Luluno use Angelina Jolies arm measurements' or something, again what is with the too tight arms ? I can picture FT stuffing his face with street taco's while telling her to "work it"

[deirdra]

3 minutes ago, Mahamid Frauded Me said:

That dress looks like a beach towel I have. Does Luluno use Angelina Jolies arm measurements' or something, again what is with the too tight arms ? I can picture FT stuffing his face with street taco's while telling her to "work it"

These probably are cut like maternity clothes for the Guatemalan or Korean women who make them and have thin arms and are 8 months pregnant.

[Meowwww]

Photoshop...she looks so much skinnier in the beach  “saddness” photo.

[Sofa Sloth]

2 hours ago, Meowwww said:

Photoshop...she looks so much skinnier in the beach  “saddness” photo.

Agree. Skinny app. You can see her upper arm is all distorted from it and the doorways is curving in the middle. Classic poor effort. Wouldn’t expect anything less from our Mykelti. 

[DakotaJustice]

3 hours ago, Sofa Sloth said:

Agree. Skinny app. You can see her upper arm is all distorted from it and the doorways is curving in the middle. Classic poor effort. Wouldn’t expect anything less from our Mykelti. 

There's a skinny app?

[Sofa Sloth]

1 hour ago, DakotaJustice said:

There's a skinny app?

There’s more than one 😉 I’ve got one called SkinnyFat, I downloaded once for a laugh. It’s less than a minute to alter your size. Here’s the classic pic of Mariah and her queer white sneakers, I helped her with some body shaping real quick. Spot the difference. You can see in the altered pic, it curves the tree in. Classic sign of altering it (see Mykelti’s curvy doorway).  If you are smart you’d crop that bit out

Edited June 30, 2019 by Sofa Sloth
Additional info

[Tabbygirl521]

She got Tony to “let her” play dress up? What the hell. I really doubt he’s her slavemaster so why use that annoying fake cutesy wording? It’s not adorable to act like a person with no agency, Mykel-Tip. 

[Kohola3]

On 6/29/2019 at 8:22 PM, Sofa Sloth said:

If you are smart...

See, that's the problem.  You can't apply that phrase to the Taco Twins.

[laurakaye]

On 6/29/2019 at 7:50 AM, Kohola3 said:

Does the LLHellNo Big Book of Sales Techniques mandate closing your eyes and grabbing two items from the closet to wear?  Doesn't matter if they even contain the same colors or the prints, when put together, make your eyes bleed?

I want to know this too.  When they get their latest rag shipment, does it come with a brochure about how to combine patterns?  Or is it the rule that literally anything goes and any top/sweater/t-shirt can be paired with any skirt/pants?  Because if I saw someone walking down the street in that last get-up Mykelti "modeled," I would definitely do a double-take and wonder why that woman got dressed in the dark.

[TurtlePower]

On 6/29/2019 at 1:14 PM, Sofa Sloth said:

Agree. Skinny app. You can see her upper arm is all distorted from it and the doorways is curving in the middle. Classic poor effort. Wouldn’t expect anything less from our Mykelti. 

And if she keeps wearing LuLaNo she's going to become even fatter, like that woman in the stretchy legging video said. 

Sad. Get fatter, use a skinny app versus doing the work to get fit. Tacos over treadmills for Miss M! 

[the-grey-lady]

On 6/24/2019 at 4:40 PM, ginger90 said:

Aieeeee! I could've lived another 60 years, another happy 60 years, without seeing Tony do the duck lips pose.

[the-grey-lady]

On 6/28/2019 at 6:57 PM, ginger90 said:

4 pictures.....

Does anyone else think it looks like her head is going to fall off? The poses , oh my!

Update: I first saw this photo 10 minutes ago, and I am still staring at it in openmouthed, slack-jawed horror.

[Juliegirlj]

Wait~ Tony is human ??!

[ginger90]

[DakotaJustice]

1 hour ago, the-grey-lady said:

Aieeeee! I could've lived another 60 years, another happy 60 years, without seeing Tony do the duck lips pose.

The hair and scraggly mustache makes him look like an obese Hispanic Michael Jackson impersonator.

[xwordfanatik]

Fish Whiskers (thx again, Sandy!) fits FT to a T.  

I have to hand it to Mykelti and FT, they don't seem to care that they look ridiculous.  Is every day Casual Friday at the bank that employs FT?  Seems so.  He's just icky.

[HighlandWarriorGrl]

Okay, I’m going to lay some positivity on Mykelti.  If you don’t pay any attention to her unusual eyebrows, she is kinda cute in this picture.  She has a pretty smile and friendly eyes.  She looks happy.  It also looks like she may be letting her hair lighten up a bit, which would be great because she has a great natural hair color.  There, I said it and it didn’t feel bad.  I’m actually happy for her.

[Sofa Sloth]

On 7/4/2019 at 11:12 AM, HighlandWarriorGrl said:

Okay, I’m going to lay some positivity on Mykelti.  If you don’t pay any attention to her unusual eyebrows, she is kinda cute in this picture.  She has a pretty smile and friendly eyes.  She looks happy.  It also looks like she may be letting her hair lighten up a bit, which would be great because she has a great natural hair color.  There, I said it and it didn’t feel bad.  I’m actually happy for her.

Aw I think that’s nice. Life’s about balance! I’m going to test out my positive attitude today and agree with you! 

She does have great teeth and a nice friendly smile and face. Her hair being lighter definitely flatters her more, (hopefully she keeps going blonder) and she often puts effort into her appearance applying makeup and styling or brushing her hair to the best of her ability, which I appreciate. 

Ooohh. That was really hard to summon up, but I do feel a warm glow now. 😊 

Edited July 4, 2019 by Sofa Sloth

[DakotaJustice]

Yes she's photogenic but she's also an airhead. 

Her caption makes no sense! 

[Sofa Sloth]

On 7/4/2019 at 12:48 PM, DakotaJustice said:

Yes she's photogenic but she's also an airhead. 

Her caption makes no sense! 

 

Even though we are used to how bad her writing is, at least you can usually decipher what she’s trying to convey. This is next level bad...Just Saddness. 

[DaphneCat]

17 minutes ago, Sofa Sloth said:

Even though we are used to how bad her writing is, at least you can usually decipher what she’s trying to convey. This is next level bad...Just Saddness. 

She's TRYING to say that these shirts run large so buy a size smaller than you normally would.  This is sort of like learning a foreign language - the fact that I'm actually starting to understand this scares me a bit.

[ginger90]

[Kohola3]

At some point these people are really going to have to 1) learn to write intelligibly and 2) the difference between the army and the national guard.

[DakotaJustice]

11 minutes ago, Kohola3 said:

At some point these people are really going to have to 1) learn to write intelligibly and 2) the difference between the army and the national guard.

But they're "licing" their best life!

Paedon looks good.

[Sandy W]

"licingourbestlife"...WHAT!!!

[suomi]

That is the nicest photo of Mykelti, ever! Evidently her bro brings out the best in her. 

[DaphneCat]

LICING her best life?  Seriously LICING?  I get it, sometimes you don't see your typos because your eye sees what it expects, but come on - let's at least ATTEMPT English.

[AZChristian]

11 minutes ago, DaphneCat said:

LICING her best life?  Seriously LICING?  I get it, sometimes you don't see your typos because your eye sees what it expects, but come on - let's at least ATTEMPT English.

The last time she had a stupid typo ("worm" instead of "work"), I figured it was because the "m" and "k" are adjacent to each other on a tiny telephone keyboard.

But the "c" is NOWHERE near the "k" . . . she's just really not very bright, I guess.

[LilWharveyGal]

59 minutes ago, AZChristian said:

But the "c" is NOWHERE near the "k" . . . she's just really not very bright, I guess.

I'd guess she was aiming for "v" which is right next to "c."  Living your best life sounds LLR-buzzwordy.

[AZChristian]

1 minute ago, LilWharveyGal said:

I'd guess she was aiming for "v" which is right next to "c."  Living your best life sounds LLR-buzzwordy.

I bet you're right . . . I'd only had one cup of coffee when I made my observation.  Now that I've had two, your reasoning seems sound!  Thanks.

[sharkerbaby]

13 hours ago, Kohola3 said:

At some point these people are really going to have to 1) learn to write intelligibly and 2) the difference between the army and the national guard.

It's true the National Guard is primarily state based, they are also considered army reserves.  Paedon is even wearing an Army hoodie.   So yeah,  they are different but related with a directive to be even more so.

ABOUT THE ARMY

SERVE YOUR WAY

The regular Army, Army Reserve and Army National Guard are each important components of the total Army structure. While active duty Soldiers serve full time, Army Reserve and Army National Guard Soldiers serve part-time. Find out more by clicking the links below. (source: https://www.goarmy.com/about/serving-in-the-army/serve-your-way.html)

Under the "Total Force" concept, National Guard units are considered to be Reserve Components of the United States Army.

The Army's Total Force Policy is an ongoing effort by the service to transition its reserve component forces, both the Army Reserve and the National Guard, into an operational force. The intent is to create a seamless and holistic "total force" governed by the same interchangeable policies and procedures.

Why is this important to the Army' 

The Total Force Policy is important to the Army for two reasons: First, it will align the Army with Secretary of Defense directives that require better integration of the Army's active and reserve component forces. The Secretary of Defense issued a directive (1200.17) on Oct. 29, 2008, that requires the military services to manage their reserve component forces as an operational force. (source: https://www.army.mil/article/42866/army_total_force_policy)

[Gothish520]

18 hours ago, ginger90 said:

Paeden looks great! Nice picture of Mykelti too. 

[Irate Panda]

10 hours ago, Gothish520 said:

Paeden looks great! Nice picture of Mykelti too. 

Yes, the both look great.  I always liked Paedon....although I don’t get most of these names.  The is the best picture of Mykelti I’ve seen in a long time.  Why does a pic of her slouching at the movies with her brother look better than her “business” photos were she’s selling looks, fashion, grooming, etc.?

[laurakaye]

On 7/4/2019 at 12:27 AM, DaphneCat said:

She's TRYING to say that these shirts run large so buy a size smaller than you normally would.  This is sort of like learning a foreign language - the fact that I'm actually starting to understand this scares me a bit.

Congratulations!  We've just officially hired you to be our "Mykelti to English" translator!  

17 hours ago, Gothish520 said:

Paeden looks great! Nice picture of Mykelti too. 

The boys all seem to leave home and return looking fantastic.  Maybe it's the exercise, the routine, the fresh air, and learning new things.  Or maybe it's got something to do with getting away from their doofus father, who - when not avoiding any actual parenting - enjoys crimping his mangy hair, taking long walks on the beaches of Hawaii with his latest squeeze, and uprooting his entire family with two days notice just because he's "bored."

Fly away, boys, and enjoy life.

Edited July 5, 2019 by laurakaye

[DaphneCat]

1 hour ago, laurakaye said:

Congratulations!  We've just officially hired you to be our "Mykelti to English" translator!  

OOH does the job come with free contact paper nails?  (I can't ask if it comes with free Lulano - I wouldn't wear that crap to clean the chicken coop.) 

[Kbo]

2 hours ago, DaphneCat said:

OOH does the job come with free contact paper nails?  (I can't ask if it comes with free Lulano - I wouldn't wear that crap to clean the chicken coop.) 

Good call, pretty sure that could be considered animal cruelty.