Jenelle: Birther Of 3, Mother To None

[leighroda]

2 hours ago, druzy said:

Jenelle we get it. You can tread water and do math.

Any teenager who is a lifeguard can also tread water for 10 minutes, after swimming a mile...without stopping. 

Did I miss the “water treading” portion of the olympics when she got her medal?

[ghoulina]

20 hours ago, druzy said:

This is the picture Jenelle deleted because of the comments about Ensley's head and the gun UBT's pocket.

David also looks like he's been on a week-long bender in these pics. His eyes. Uffdah!

52 minutes ago, leighroda said:

Any teenager who is a lifeguard can also tread water for 10 minutes, after swimming a mile...without stopping. 

Did I miss the “water treading” portion of the olympics when she got her medal?

Treading water is what she's been doing in that relationship for the past 10 years (I do Jenelle math). 

[kicksave]

Dear God almighty!!!!!! That pic of David holding the kids with the gun in his waistband should be sent to CPS ASAP! And are those new tattoos??? He looks one angry white dude. What happened to Nathan's mom getting custody of Kaiser? I hope she has the pic to show the judge in this case.

[Birdee]

3 hours ago, MyPeopleAreNordic said:

Seeing David walking around with a gun tucked in his pants reminds me of ex-NFL player Plaxico Burress accidentally shooting himself in the leg (which basically ended his promising career).  Plaxico was at a nightclub. He had his gun in his waistband.  He tripped going up some stairs and the gun fell, went off, and shot into his leg. 

https://www.cbssports.com/nfl/news/ex-receiver-plaxico-burress-finally-explains-how-he-shot-himself-in-the-leg-at-a-club/

I would be exactly 0% sad if David shot off "Little David" and took himself out of the gene pol.

[Rebecca]

9 hours ago, dabronx said:

Former certified rescue scuba diver here. My two cents is that anyone’s who gets their scuba diver certification and does not   feel it’s an accomplishment is probably someone who didn’t pay very close attention or take the safety and classroom portions of the course  too seriously and is frankly not someone I’d want to be diving with. There are briefer courses that people take on vacation to go out for a short dive but if Janelle completed her full certification than yes it’s an accomplishment. Janelle can be a wretched human and still have things to be proud of that us “normals” would be proud of too. Taking her scuba course seriously and being proud of that is a good example. Marrying David and being proud of THAT? Not so much........

You really think Jenelle took it super seriously? You’d dive with her? There’s a BIG DIFFERENCE between what you’re describing versus what Jenelle “accomplished.” Plus, I’m pretty sure you don’t go on twitter arguing with people about how haaaard treading water for 10 mins is and how no one else can do it. Don’t see anything about her being a rescue diver. I want to see the receipts that she took some big, comprehensive course.

I’m a certified lifeguard. If I was Jenelle I’d be going around saying I save lies and bragging about the “accomplishment” because it would be all I had to brag about if I was Jenelle. Lots of things are technically accomplishments but they really mean nothing to anyone else and really, really mean nothing when you’re shit at everything important, like Jenelle.

Edited March 22, 2018 by Rebecca

[lovesnark]

7 hours ago, Snarky McSnarky said:

I always thought SCUBA diving in the ocean would be cool, but never got beyond the "imagining" part.  But when it comes to Janelle and her pool, all I can think of is Dustin Hoffman in The Graduate. 

 

Yes!!! That's exactly what I was thinking. Her all geared up in the pool and Lurch dropping random shit into the water for her to "discover". ?

 

9 hours ago, dabronx said:

Former certified rescue scuba diver here. My two cents is that anyone’s who gets their scuba diver certification and does not   feel it’s an accomplishment is probably someone who didn’t pay very close attention or take the safety and classroom portions of the course  too seriously and is frankly not someone I’d want to be diving with. There are briefer courses that people take on vacation to go out for a short dive but if Janelle completed her full certification than yes it’s an accomplishment. Janelle can be a wretched human and still have things to be proud of that us “normals” would be proud of too. Taking her scuba course seriously and being proud of that is a good example. Marrying David and being proud of THAT? Not so much........

I believe Jenelle did a vacation scuba course in St Thomas. As far as we know, she's never done any diving stateside. She was tweeting about being excited for her pool to be ready #scuba. The image of her diving in the pool cracks me up!

[dabronx]

8 hours ago, CaliforniaLove said:

Jenelle got her license to be a rescue diver?

No where in my post did I say that so not sure why you are asking.

[dabronx]

10 minutes ago, lovesnark said:

Yes!!! That's exactly what I was thinking. Her all geared up in the pool and Lurch dropping random shit into the water for her to "discover". ?

 

I believe Jenelle did a vacation scuba course in St Thomas. As far as we know, she's never done any diving stateside. She was tweeting about being excited for her pool to be ready #scuba. The image of her diving in the pool cracks me up!

If Janelle received enriched air certification than as a pre-requisite she’d have to have her open water certifications which is different to the basic scuba diver course that is typical of quick training on vacay which allows you to be a supervised diver.  Open water certification allows you to be unsupervised diver. 

All I’m saying is go ahead and knock Janelle for her treading water lunacy, knock her for her horrid life choices etc etc but there’s no reason to diminish or downplay what it means to have accomplished open water scuba certification or the enriched air certification to knock her. Does having it make anyone super special? Is it Einstein level math or seal team six level training? No - but it does take enough brain power and commitment to be an accomplishment. 

[Mkay]

https://www.inquisitr.com/4326317/jenelle-evans-is-training-to-be-a-certified-scuba-diver/

[Mkay]

[littleB1rdy]

I wonder what she’s planning for Jace or Kaiser’s birthdays. If she pays for man child David to get scuba lessons for his birthday, imagine what she does for her sons on their birthdays! Or she could always just give them another unwrapped toy truck.

[leighroda]

Of course she wants to scuba out of town... what does she ever want to do in town?

and she doesn’t know the suit brand? Is it not emblazoned in her arm? Was that a knock at Roxy? They must not have wanted to sponsor her.

[rhofmovalley]

11 hours ago, MyPeopleAreNordic said:

Oh, I agree, @GreatKazu.  My guess is Maryssa is a bully because she sees her dad and stepmom treating the boys (or at least Kaiser) like that.  Hell, they probably even treat Maryssa like that. Being raised nearly full-time by Jenelle and David has got to be a mind f&%# and she surely sees/hears a lot of violence and then does what sees being modeled. That's no excuse for her being a bully or physically harming anyone, though.  That said, I still think she's more likely to notice if the boys accidentally get in the pool unattended than UBT & Jenelle...and I'd trust her to give me CPR over Jenelle & UBT...

Seeing David walking around with a gun tucked in his pants reminds me of ex-NFL player Plaxico Burress accidentally shooting himself in the leg (which basically ended his promising career).  Plaxico was at a nightclub. He had his gun in his waistband.  He tripped going up some stairs and the gun fell, went off, and shot into his leg. 

https://www.cbssports.com/nfl/news/ex-receiver-plaxico-burress-finally-explains-how-he-shot-himself-in-the-leg-at-a-club/

Best part of that was, Burress went to prison for that!

 

Can you imagine those prison yard conversations? "So, Burress, what're you in for?" "A shooting!" "Man! Who'd you shoot?" "Myself." "Ummm...badass??"

[CofCinci]

18 hours ago, druzy said:

Jenelle we get it. You can tread water and do math.

But can she do both at the same time?

[LegallyRed2]

My 9 year old son can tread water for 10 minutes easy. He could probably do it for a lot longer.  Lanna11 who commented on Janelle's thread is absolutely right. The YMCA requires a 2 minute water tread to allow kids to get their 'green bracelets' to be able to swim in the pool without an adult. It's harder to run 6.0 for 10 minutes than it is to tread water. #truestory

[druzy]

[FairyDusted]

Well that scared me awake! 

[druzy]

[GreatKazu]

16 hours ago, Mkay said:

I can see it now. David is going to pull that shit like that newlywed husband who went scuba diving with his bride on their honeymoon and she ended up "drowning".

27 minutes ago, druzy said:

No safety fence around the pool.?

[pheebs]

17 minutes ago, GreatKazu said:

I can see it now. David is going to pull that shit like that newlywed husband who went scuba diving with his bride on their honeymoon and she ended up "drowning".

Can I tell a true story? In our little midwestern town, a "Big Name" rich guy married the older sister of one of my friends. They were giant coke fiends and she started to get on his nerves, so he started an affair with a Scuba/Fitness Instructor/gym addict type girl. The husband basically made my Friend's sister get cold water/dive rescue certified and participate in dives (she wasn't really interested) and one January night they were drinking. He proposed loudly to all the bar patrons that "We're driving across the Lake to get home so we won't get busted for drunk driving." It wasn't a harsh winter, so the ice was iffy. He drove (whoops!) into open water and the vehicle sunk. He then managed to get out of the flooded vehicle - (How lucky was that! Thank goodness He was certified!) and walked to his lawyer's house on the lake and didn't bother to report the "accident" for hours.

Of, course, He didn't. It was because He was so "rattled" it didn't even occur to him to call the authorities. Or, needed time to sober up. Or time to change out of his DrySuit for cold water diving He had under his clothes. Nah, he was just too shaken up to call - (from his lawyer's house.)

She was found the next morning by Dive Rescue still buckled in. His window was open (must have needed that fresh air while driving!) Annnd...He got off scott free.

He married the Scuba/Fitness Instructor six weeks later in an underwater ceremony in the Caribbean, wearing Scuba gear. As you do.

Back on topic, Janelle sux.

[GreatKazu]

24 minutes ago, pheebs said:

Can I tell a true story? In our little midwestern town, a "Big Name" rich guy married the older sister of one of my friends. They were giant coke fiends and she started to get on his nerves, so he started an affair with a Scuba/Fitness Instructor/gym addict type girl. The husband basically made my Friend's sister get cold water/dive rescue certified and participate in dives (she wasn't really interested) and one January night they were drinking. He proposed loudly to all the bar patrons that "We're driving across the Lake to get home so we won't get busted for drunk driving." It wasn't a harsh winter, so the ice was iffy. He drove (whoops!) into open water and the vehicle sunk. He then managed to get out of the flooded vehicle - (How lucky was that! Thank goodness He was certified!) and walked to his lawyer's house on the lake and didn't bother to report the "accident" for hours.

Of, course, He didn't. It was because He was so "rattled" it didn't even occur to him to call the authorities. Or, needed time to sober up. Or time to change out of his DrySuit for cold water diving He had under his clothes. Nah, he was just too shaken up to call - (from his lawyer's house.)

She was found the next morning by Dive Rescue still buckled in. His window was open (must have needed that fresh air while driving!) Annnd...He got off scott free.

He married the Scuba/Fitness Instructor six weeks later in an underwater ceremony in the Caribbean, wearing Scuba gear. As you do.

Back on topic, Janelle sux.

?? 

He got away with murder??? ?

[pheebs]

1 minute ago, GreatKazu said:

He got away with murder??? ?

He sure did. His family owned the newspaper. The Scuba wife then had a fitness advice column in the paper for years. She was always going off about the "great need to have aerobic fitness."

And I always thought, "Of course you know the value of holding your breath."

[MyPeopleAreNordic]

38 minutes ago, GreatKazu said:

?? 

He got away with murder??? ?

 

33 minutes ago, pheebs said:

He sure did. 

 

Thank goodness UBT isn't smart enough to get away with something like this (or have the foresight to plan so well). 

Edited March 22, 2018 by MyPeopleAreNordic

[TexasGal]

Y'all, I'm surprised they didn't see this and think it was a good idea to also have Eggsley try it.  If it weren't for you guys, I would have thought it WAS them before reading it but I know someone would have spilled the beans here before I ever saw it somewhere else!

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/true-crime/wp/2018/03/21/mother-arrested-after-viral-video-of-her-baby-smoking-sparks-outrage-on-social-media/?utm_term=.f3ebaccf3765

[Mkay]

[GreatKazu]

45 minutes ago, Mkay said:

 

[Mkay]

1 hour ago, GreatKazu said:

 

Perfect!!

[monicageller]

On 3/21/2018 at 8:56 PM, CofCinci said:

Janelle acts as if her SCUBA “license” makes her a US Navy SEAL! Just like how she believes her strip mall medical assisting certificate is equivalent to a board-certified physician!! 

David Eason can’t hug the kids without having a fucking gun in his pocket?!

Yes, the Eagle tattoo is very similar to White Supremacy tattoos. 

But she is SAVING LIVES.

[CofCinci]

How old is Ensley again?

[monicageller]

23 minutes ago, CofCinci said:

How old is Ensley again?

She turned one this January.

[Jennifersdc]

Please tell me that asshole is not walking around his Land with a gun tucked into his waistband.

While holding small children....

Wait - I’m sure Jenelle will say “but safety is on”. 

Oh - OK idiots, that makes it so much better...

[CofCinci]

2 hours ago, monicageller said:

She turned one this January.

Can she walk? It still looks like she is “cruising”. 

[Mkay]

18 hours ago, druzy said:

Notice how endtable picks up her club foot and pulls it around flat on the floor so she can stand up.  She is already figuring out ways to adapt to her disability because she knows her parents aren’t going to take care of her.  

[CaliforniaLove]

Last night I was watching Wheel of Fortune, and at the end Vanna White was shilling for the Sandals Beach Resort in Turks & Caicos. She was talking about all the wonderful trips she has been on with her children & one of her selling points was that her teenage son got his SCUBA certification because they do it right there at the resort! "You can go to the water park, eat at the buffet, swim with dolphins, and get your SCUBA cert!". It must truly be difficult. *snerk*

[Mkay]

[FairyDusted]

Looks like the Dugger plan. Sister moms.

[MaddyMaeboxerbabe]

Looks like Ensley is needing big sis to help hold her head up!

[Purerockfury]

3 hours ago, Mkay said:

I’m not a parent but shouldn’t they be trying to get her used to a spoon and plate by now ?

[GreatKazu]

3 hours ago, MaddyMaeboxerbabe said:

Looks like Ensley is needing big sis to help hold her head up!

HAAAAAAA! 

Big sis won't always be around. Eggsley will need assistance. 

[leighroda]

She’s pushing her YouTube channel again... all her footage is from 2 years ago, who cares?

[druzy]

[littleB1rdy]

Wtf??? Either baby mama is worse than David or they paid her off (which also makes her terrible). Does this mean another poor child is gonna be subjected to the LANNDDDD? Meet your next random sibling Jace!

[Mkay]

23 minutes ago, druzy said:

Does she’s KNOW the amount of people who would gladly contribute funds to keep the kid away? No Olivia!! What are you doing??

[Maharincess]

31 minutes ago, leighroda said:

She’s pushing her YouTube channel again... all her footage is from 2 years ago, who cares?

I wouldn't care even if it was shot 2 hours ago. I can't imagine why anyone would care about anything from them. 

[GreatKazu]

38 minutes ago, druzy said:

Again? This is the second time she has backed down. 

 

[monicageller]

6 hours ago, Mkay said:

Interesting how it was discussed here Maryssa hasn't been seen for a while, and then they post this...

[littleB1rdy]

You mean to tell me David goes on a scary, homophobic rant on Twitter and gets fired from his wife’s “job” the day before his day in court for custody over his son and yet still gets to keep custody. 

 

But super dad Jo had to go above and beyond and please the Hulk just to see his son? 

What the hell is going on?

[FlowerofCarnage]

6 hours ago, Mkay said:

I think Maryssa has taken it upon herself to try to fix Endtable's head.

[Maharincess]

To me, it looks like Maryssa is trying to figure out the easiest way to snap her neck. 

Poor little Kaden,  he's probably seen these people a handful of times in his life and now he's going to be thrown in the kid pile for whole weekends. He doesn't know these people and he's only 4!  I feel so bad for him.  I agree that Jenelle will be jealous of any attention that is given to Kaden.  That poor baby is going to go through he'll in that house. 

Edited March 24, 2018 by Maharincess

[GreatKazu]

13 minutes ago, FlowerofCarnage said:

I think Maryssa has taken it upon herself to try to fix Endtable's head.

hahaha

I think she is actually molding it so it looks more elongated. Maryssa does not want any competition. She will throw Eggsley around in no time, just like she tosses around Kaiser and Jace. Just wait. 

6 minutes ago, Maharincess said:

To me, it looks like Maryssa is trying to figure out the easiest way to snap her neck. 

 

Hell yes!!! Remember when Gracie was considered the evil child? Maryssa has taken the crown. 

Edited March 23, 2018 by GreatKazu