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Jenelle: Birther Of 3, Mother To None

DangerousMinds

By DangerousMinds
in Teen Mom 2

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Everyone knows Ensley does not have Down syndrome. Posts suggesting that she does will be removed and warnings issued. Posts such as these leave the impression that an arguably unflattering picture could somehow be construed as a child being disabled is considered ableist and is against the rules of the board.

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ReclinerTurnip

ReclinerTurnip

The wording is "cela passera aussi" - I think there are a lot of these tattoos - I think the translation is OK.  But, interestingly enough if you go to Wikipedia for "this too shall pass" you can find this interesting fact:

 Its origin has been traced to the works of Persian Sufi poets, such as Sanai and Attar of Nishapur.[3] Attar records the fable of a powerful king who asks assembled wise men to create a ring that will make him happy when he is sad. After deliberation the sages hand him a simple ring with the words "This too will pass" etched on it, which has the desired effect to make him happy when he is sad. It also, however, became a curse for whenever he is happy.

 

I kindof love this for Jenelle - that she is promulgating ideologies from Persia (current day Iran). Don't get me wrong - there is some great philosophy/fables from that culture and time - I just think it is extremely "ironical" (TM Nathan) that she has it given her current rabid "gun-toting mama" phase.  It does have the delightful double meaning of - bad times or good times, it is not going to last.  And/or the irony that any guy she is with is reminded of "this too shall pass" not far from her lady parts. 

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politichick
politichick

Not to mention how Leah has probably accelerated Ali's physical decline because she refuses to follow the fucking rules regarding the wheel chair and physical activity. Barb has made sure that Ja

Kareny
Kareny

Maryssa is free! Hallelujah. Two down, two to go.

Uncle JUICE
Uncle JUICE

Look, who are we to judge? Look, if you're married for any amount of time, or really in any sort of regular, healthy relationship, who among you HASN'T threatened their significant other with posting

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Marley

Marley

As much as Jenelle and David are shit ppl and parents I think Colin is completely out of his fucking mind. He needs to be off social media too and get his meds adjusted or something. The shit he says is ridiculous.

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LBS

LBS

(edited)

Two things:

1.  I got my scuba certification.   It's not that hard.   One weekend of classroom/open water pool classes and then the open water dive certification.  She could of done it on one of her many vacations.   Most resorts will offer the training.   The only hard thing was that she probably had to refrain from getting super high during her vacations while getting the certificate.

2. Those tattoos on UBT hands are hideous and they actually give me the shudders.   

 

ETA: PADI website for certification.  https://www.padi.com/help/scuba-certification-faq

Edited by LBS
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CaliforniaLove

CaliforniaLove

12 minutes ago, LBS said:

Two things:

1.  I got my scuba certification.   It's not that hard.   One weekend of classroom/open water pool classes and then the open water dive certification.  She could of done it on one of her many vacations.   Most resorts will offer the training.   The only hard thing was that she probably had to refrain from getting super high during her vacations while getting the certificate.

2. Those tattoos on UBT hands are hideous and they actually give me the shudders.   

 

ETA: PADI website for certification.  https://www.padi.com/help/scuba-certification-faq

I was gonna ask how "hard" it is to obtain one's scuba license!! I've never looked into it (I'm fine just snorkeling), but it has never struck me as something one must "work hard" at. Maybe she could put that effort towards caring for her children, or getting her daughter's freaky head fixed? Just a thought. 

Is that the butt of a gun sticking out of David's pants? I hope he shoots his tiny dick off. 

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GreatKazu

GreatKazu

12 minutes ago, MyPeopleAreNordic said:

Did Jenelle ever get that child safety fence around her pool? I know at one time she was claiming they were going to get it after the pool was "inspected" (which is a lie). 

They put the useless gate (the one that had no fence on either side) next to the pool to make it look safe. 

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MyPeopleAreNordic

MyPeopleAreNordic

(edited)
4 minutes ago, GreatKazu said:

They put the useless gate (the one that had no fence on either side) next to the pool to make it look safe. 

This is just one more of the many potential disasters the kids could encounter on the land. Sigh.  

If I was Barb or Doris, I'd have to take so much Xanax to help with the anxiety about what could accidentally happen to those kids out there (let alone what David/Jenelle could cause to happen that wouldn't be accidents). 

Someone needs to pay for Maryssa to attend lifeguard training. She's probably the best bet for keeping the smaller kids safe around the pool. 

Edited by MyPeopleAreNordic
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GreatKazu

GreatKazu

4 hours ago, MyPeopleAreNordic said:

This is just one more of the many potential disasters the kids could encounter on the land. Sigh.  

If I was Barb or Doris, I'd have to take so much Xanax to help with the anxiety about what could accidentally happen to those kids out there (let alone what David/Jenelle could cause to happen that wouldn't be accidents). 

Someone needs to pay for Maryssa to attend lifeguard training. She's probably the best bet for keeping the smaller kids safe around the pool. 

Maryssa tosses those boys around like rag dolls. Jace already complained about Maryssa hitting him. I don't trust her. She might hold those boys under water or toss them in. I might be alone in my feelings, but I do not like her.

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leighroda

leighroda

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I cannot stop laughing... y’all it takes MATH that changes everything, scuba is super distinguished. 

I have no issue with people who scuba dive or have an interest it, for most it’s a hobby, some can work it into a job... but for the love of everything I have ever loved in my life WHO THE ACTUAL FUCK CARES if she has a scuba license... if I never see her tweet about scuba again it’ll be too soon. I get that it was winter but literally she has not said anything about it for months and now she has been tweeting about it for days, close to a week.

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Mkay

Mkay

43 minutes ago, leighroda said:

I cannot stop laughing... y’all it takes MATH that changes everything, scuba is super distinguished. 

I have no issue with people who scuba dive or have an interest it, for most it’s a hobby, some can work it into a job... but for the love of everything I have ever loved in my life WHO THE ACTUAL FUCK CARES if she has a scuba license... if I never see her tweet about scuba again it’ll be too soon. I get that it was winter but literally she has not said anything about it for months and now she has been tweeting about it for days, close to a week.

The comments on this tweet are hilarious!!!

1 hour ago, Pixiebomb said:

Where is Maryssa?  Any sightings lately?  

I haven’t seen her in any pictures lately. 

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Mkay

Mkay

1 hour ago, druzy said:

This is the picture Jenelle deleted because of the comments about Ensley's head and the gun UBT's pocket.

je.jpg

Look at Kaiser’s legs though.  They are super red.  

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lovesnark

lovesnark

That asshole walks around THE LAND with a sidearm tucked into his pants?!?! What a paranoid asshole. He probably thinks some gay rights activist is lurking in the woods wanting to whup his ignorant ass. He's the type that would shoot the FedEx dude and say he thought it was an intruder.

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LBS

LBS

(edited)

I think his hand tats are making me shudder because they really replicate a lot of skinhead tats.  I just went on a shallow dive on the splcenter.org and ald.org websites.  While I can’t find an exact match that bird with the straw in the beak is ringing major bells (took classes in college about that type of sh*t).  That combined with the gun makes me so scared for the babies. 

 

Also - you don’t have to swim for 10 minutes in one spot (which is literally impossible unless you have one of those lap pools As Advertised On TV at 3am). You have to be able to tread water or float head up for 10 minutes.  I did it as a smoker.  Not a huge deal.

Edited by LBS
Saw the stupid tweet from Jenelle aka Scuba Sociopath
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lovesnark

lovesnark

The missing Maryssa is indeed a mystery. I wonder if she's on spring break and is with her mom or grandparents? Or, maybe her mom followed UBT's other ex's lead and said no more plastering her kid all over social media?

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TexasGal

TexasGal

2 hours ago, Mkay said:

Look at Kaiser’s legs though.  They are super red.  

Kaiser looks really upset, and UBT’s expression looking at him is scary.  Even without a gun being involved.  Poor little Kaiser.

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druzy

druzy

2 hours ago, Mkay said:

Look at Kaiser’s legs though.  They are super red.  

I feel so bad for Kaiser. If he complains he knows UBT's response will be "Boy you are a sissy just like your sissy dad". Kaiser is in survival mode.

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littleB1rdy

littleB1rdy

(edited)
5 hours ago, Rebecca said:

I’d never heard of Nitrox so I googled and it’s a chemical used to dive longer. Any 15 year old with parental approval can get certified to use it too. https://www.tdisdi.com/tdi/get-certified/nitrox-diver/

These are the things she brags about? ? 

Well it’s not like she can brag about taking care of her kids, or getting a degree/career, or helping charities. So she brags about basic human actions and the materialistic things she buys herself and David.

Edited by littleB1rdy
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lovesnark

lovesnark

This whole scuba thing is cracking me up. I have a mental picture of Jenelle in the pool in full scuba gear while Lurch throws random shit into the pool for her to "discover". She's so stupid, if she would have posted about being excited for the pool to be ready, she would have only had hatters asking about the fence. But, nooooooo! Moron has to mention scuba and then get defensive and all uppity about how hard she worked - hahaha! - to get certified.

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lovesnark

lovesnark

When we went to Maui, we took a snorkeling trip. My son and I opted to do Snuba instead. It's like scuba but the tank is on a raft on the surface and you're connected by an air hose. We took a short class about it on the way to the snorkeling spot. I look back on it as an awesome memory, not something to boast about. My son fed a puffer fish from his hand, it was pretty cool. So, suck it, Janelle ?

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Rebecca

Rebecca

1 hour ago, lovesnark said:

When we went to Maui, we took a snorkeling trip. My son and I opted to do Snuba instead. It's like scuba but the tank is on a raft on the surface and you're connected by an air hose. We took a short class about it on the way to the snorkeling spot. I look back on it as an awesome memory, not something to boast about. My son fed a puffer fish from his hand, it was pretty cool. So, suck it, Janelle ?

But was ~math~ “involved”? 

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CofCinci

CofCinci

Janelle acts as if her SCUBA “license” makes her a US Navy SEAL! Just like how she believes her strip mall medical assisting certificate is equivalent to a board-certified physician!! 

David Eason can’t hug the kids without having a fucking gun in his pocket?!

8 hours ago, LBS said:

I think his hand tats are making me shudder because they really replicate a lot of skinhead tats.  I just went on a shallow dive on the splcenter.org and ald.org websites.  While I can’t find an exact match that bird with the straw in the beak is ringing major bells (took classes in college about that type of sh*t).  That combined with the gun makes me so scared for the babies. 

Yes, the Eagle tattoo is very similar to White Supremacy tattoos. 

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Mkay

Mkay

I can’t even make out what that tattoo is. You all have some sharp eye site. 

My husband learned to scuba dive on his off time in Kuwait while working as a civilian on the army base with his job. I asked about the math.  He rolled his eyes.  Hahaha 

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ElderPrice

ElderPrice

(edited)

I’m PADI certified too. Big deal. Yes there is some math involved, they teach you a simple formula to figure out how much time you should spend recovering at the surface before you go back down depending on the depth and time you were diving. It’s easy, my husband and I got certified with a 14 year old. Lots of resorts have an instructor on location and can certify you in a day or two. It’s not splitting atoms. 

You all should read the comments following her scuba tweet. Comedy gold. ?

Edited by ElderPrice
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dabronx

dabronx

Former certified rescue scuba diver here. My two cents is that anyone’s who gets their scuba diver certification and does not   feel it’s an accomplishment is probably someone who didn’t pay very close attention or take the safety and classroom portions of the course  too seriously and is frankly not someone I’d want to be diving with. There are briefer courses that people take on vacation to go out for a short dive but if Janelle completed her full certification than yes it’s an accomplishment. Janelle can be a wretched human and still have things to be proud of that us “normals” would be proud of too. Taking her scuba course seriously and being proud of that is a good example. Marrying David and being proud of THAT? Not so much........

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CaliforniaLove

CaliforniaLove

1 hour ago, dabronx said:

Former certified rescue scuba diver here. My two cents is that anyone’s who gets their scuba diver certification and does not   feel it’s an accomplishment is probably someone who didn’t pay very close attention or take the safety and classroom portions of the course  too seriously and is frankly not someone I’d want to be diving with. There are briefer courses that people take on vacation to go out for a short dive but if Janelle completed her full certification than yes it’s an accomplishment. Janelle can be a wretched human and still have things to be proud of that us “normals” would be proud of too. Taking her scuba course seriously and being proud of that is a good example. Marrying David and being proud of THAT? Not so much........

Jenelle got her license to be a rescue diver?

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ElderPrice

ElderPrice

56 minutes ago, dabronx said:

Former certified rescue scuba diver here. My two cents is that anyone’s who gets their scuba diver certification and does not   feel it’s an accomplishment is probably someone who didn’t pay very close attention or take the safety and classroom portions of the course  too seriously and is frankly not someone I’d want to be diving with. There are briefer courses that people take on vacation to go out for a short dive but if Janelle completed her full certification than yes it’s an accomplishment. Janelle can be a wretched human and still have things to be proud of that us “normals” would be proud of too. Taking her scuba course seriously and being proud of that is a good example. Marrying David and being proud of THAT? Not so much......

Yes but you’re a rescue diver and probably have been a dive master, a whole ‘nother thing from us recreational divers who might go out once or twice a year. We’re not saying it’s not an accomplishment, just way out of proportion, like saying that getting a medical assistant certificate is “saving lives”. Which she never managed to do. All of Jenelle’s claims have to be taken with a raised eyebrow and a grain of salt. 

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MyPeopleAreNordic

MyPeopleAreNordic

(edited)
19 hours ago, GreatKazu said:

Maryssa tosses those boys around like rag dolls. Jace already complained about Maryssa hitting him. I don't trust her. She might hold those boys under water or toss them in. I might be alone in my feelings, but I do not like her.

Oh, I agree, @GreatKazu.  My guess is Maryssa is a bully because she sees her dad and stepmom treating the boys (or at least Kaiser) like that.  Hell, they probably even treat Maryssa like that. Being raised nearly full-time by Jenelle and David has got to be a mind f&%# and she surely sees/hears a lot of violence and then does what sees being modeled. That's no excuse for her being a bully or physically harming anyone, though.  That said, I still think she's more likely to notice if the boys accidentally get in the pool unattended than UBT & Jenelle...and I'd trust her to give me CPR over Jenelle & UBT...

16 hours ago, lovesnark said:

That asshole walks around THE LAND with a sidearm tucked into his pants?!?! What a paranoid asshole. He probably thinks some gay rights activist is lurking in the woods wanting to whup his ignorant ass. He's the type that would shoot the FedEx dude and say he thought it was an intruder.

Seeing David walking around with a gun tucked in his pants reminds me of ex-NFL player Plaxico Burress accidentally shooting himself in the leg (which basically ended his promising career).  Plaxico was at a nightclub. He had his gun in his waistband.  He tripped going up some stairs and the gun fell, went off, and shot into his leg. 

https://www.cbssports.com/nfl/news/ex-receiver-plaxico-burress-finally-explains-how-he-shot-himself-in-the-leg-at-a-club/

Edited by MyPeopleAreNordic
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