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Jenelle: Birther Of 3, Mother To None

DangerousMinds

By DangerousMinds
in Teen Mom 2

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Everyone knows Ensley does not have Down syndrome. Posts suggesting that she does will be removed and warnings issued. Posts such as these leave the impression that an arguably unflattering picture could somehow be construed as a child being disabled is considered ableist and is against the rules of the board.

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politichick
politichick

Not to mention how Leah has probably accelerated Ali's physical decline because she refuses to follow the fucking rules regarding the wheel chair and physical activity. Barb has made sure that Ja

Kareny
Kareny

Maryssa is free! Hallelujah. Two down, two to go.

Uncle JUICE
Uncle JUICE

Look, who are we to judge? Look, if you're married for any amount of time, or really in any sort of regular, healthy relationship, who among you HASN'T threatened their significant other with posting

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CofCinci

CofCinci

'The Ashley' is too enmeshed/embedded into the lives of all these TM/TM2s.  (He?/She?) wants to be friends with them and purposefully withholds stories to gain favor with the Moms.

tl;dr I don't view The Ashley as this major confirmer of truth.

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200.gif

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Rebecca

Rebecca

3 hours ago, druzy said:

https://mobile.twitter.com/nellzhater/status/911766259712307200/video/1

Fireworks

I turned the volume way up and when David was being "funny" with the knife he said "I have 5 kids I can't be doing this." So, is he counting Kaiser and Jace as "his"? He "only" has Maryssa, Ensley and a son he can't see, right? If he has another kid then that would make 4 and if Jenelle is pregnant and that's the 5th? I'm assuming he is calling Jace and Kaiser his, but just making sure.

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GreatKazu

GreatKazu

12 minutes ago, Rebecca said:

I turned the volume way up and when David was being "funny" with the knife he said "I have 5 kids I can't be doing this." So, is he counting Kaiser and Jace as "his"? He "only" has Maryssa, Ensley and a son he can't see, right? If he has another kid then that would make 4 and if Jenelle is pregnant and that's the 5th? I'm assuming he is calling Jace and Kaiser his, but just making sure.

He is calling Jenelle one of his kids? She sure acts like a fucking four year old. 

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Rebecca

Rebecca

(edited)

@GreatKazu Very good point!!! She's much more of a whiny little bitch (tm Dave) than Kaiser could ever be. I wonder how much he actually can't stand her?

Barb should be glad she missed this "event" by the looks of it. Maybe Jenelle's next husband will invite her to their wedding.

Edited by Rebecca
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mrsh

mrsh

So now that Jenelle and lurch are officially married, I foresee that Jenelle will disappear or have a tragic accident soon. Praying that Jace and the Roll wont be around when it happens.

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bethster2000

bethster2000

4 hours ago, BitterApple said:

I was just lecturing my husband on how we need to get out more, and here it is Saturday night, he's overdosing on college football and I'm stalking Jenelle's wedding. I'm officially old and boring. 

 

No, you're awesome.  Going out is way overrated.

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druzy

druzy

Jenelle and David flip houses and don't fight

Quote

Despite the challenges with Jenelle’s mother, the engaged pair are focused on the positive aspects of their life. “We have a lot of projects that are coming up and we’re working on them as a team, just like we have been, but this time together as a family,” she explained to Us at the time. “So it will be great. We’re looking into house renovations, buying and flipping. I have a cosmetics line that’s about to come out and he’s helping me with that, just a lot of the business aspect behind it.”

And while to twosome are busy juggling their hectic schedules, they always make their relationship a priority. “We stay busy, but I think that’s it,” she explained. “You stay busy and if you stay busy there’s nothing really to argue about.”

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Calm81

Calm81

(edited)

One day she will regret not having her mother at her wedding. After all of the sacrifices Barbara has made, being apart of her daughter's special day is the least she could have done for her. It's not like Barbara beat her and her siblings up as children or left them to fend for themselves for meals...the hate comes from the fact that Barbara stepped up for Jace when Jenelle stepped down to party. 

I just don't like to see mother daughter relationships behave like this. I know a lot of people believe that toxic relationships should be avoided regardless of who the person is to them, but a bond between mother and her child should be unbreakable, but sadly, there are many cases where mother and child cut ties.

I love my mother to death, we've had plenty of arguments but my saddest day will be when she takes her last breath so I do my best as a thirty-something's daughter to cherish every moment I have left with her. I just wish that their relationship didn't have to come to this.

I know we all hate Jenelle, but I truly wanted them to work out their differences but Jenelle will always put her soul mate of the month before the lady that has been there for her through thick and thin. The one that took action when she was on her near death bed shooting up with Keifer.

Um, I guess a congratulations is in order for Mr. & Mrs. Swampmates??? ?

Edited by Calm81
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ElderPrice

ElderPrice

I am dying reading all these posts. I love you people more than my husband, children and grandchildren combined right now. My favorite parts of the wedding so far is that horrible cake, her bathrobe (WTtF????) and the plopped down dance floor with weeds between the tiles. This thread is amazing! Mazel Tov to the Swamp Dwellers! 

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Scarlett45

Scarlett45

5 minutes ago, Ljohnson1987 said:

I hope Jenelle opens her eyes, and sees that this was one of the biggest mistakes she can make. David will cheat in no time. 

Cheat?!! I'm concerned for her life! I'm sure he's fucked around on her already, if Jenelle is lucky she will escape him without fatal injuries, a stay in the hospital or any STIs she cannot cure. He scares me. 

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blueorchid

blueorchid

(edited)

I was surprised by the super small turnout of guests to their trash wedding. UBT has successfully isolated her from friends and family, and I suspect they were too busy using drugs to get their yard done for the wedding in time. Jenelle doesn't look pregnant to me. I'm a little bit shorter than her and looked a hella pregnant by 5 months when I was knocked up with my son, and a lot of women show more quickly after multiple pregnancies. My official opinion is to call shenanigans on this pregnancy rumor, though I'd love to be proved wrong so I can mock them. 

 

Next up, court with Doris! Here's hoping she can reveal some truth bombs and get Kaiser away from his evil caretakers. Now that his mom is UBT's property shit is about to get way worse for him. 

 

Also I was looking at real estate prices in columbus county (because my kid has been sick so I've been trapped indoors, and real estate is an interest of mine, don't judge me) and you can get a 5 bedroom house for HALF the price of what we paid for our two bedroom condo in downtown Denver!! That must leave heaps of money to spend on pillsies!

Edited by blueorchid
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Christina87

Christina87

Y'all, I am really, really worried she is pregnant. When she picked up her dress like 5 days ago (not sure exactly how long it was, but not super long), she was very skinny. This tells me one of two things:

1. It is the worst-fitting dress ever! Any dress that can make a skinny woman look chunky and three months pregnant is not one they should pick for their special day. It's possible that it would have looked nice a size up, but I just can't imagine going to NYC and buying a fancy, most likely expensive dress that makes me look twice my size. Or...

2. She's pregnant. 

Desr God, pleeeeeeeeease let it be #1!!! We know David doesn't have any fashion sense, so I hope she doesn't either!

their first dance looked hella awkward, like two people in middle school. For as fast as these losers move in relationships, I don't honk they get truly comfortable with each other or do the finer things in life (go on real dates, dance, etc). They just sit on the couch for a while in hoodies, across the room from each other, both on their phones, and then go have sex. 

MTV will have to edit out the hooting and hollering. 

I wish Keiffer had been there as a guest!

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FairyDusted

FairyDusted

(edited)

Well I woke up with a chicken taco in one hand and a bottle of wine in the other @GreatKazu in her living room. Good times. Thanks! Got coffee?

I thought my wedding dress was trashy but no Janelle beat me out.

Oh and I didn't invite my Mother either. She can't control her mouth at my Father or his wife. I sent her a photo album but she threw it in the trash! 25 years later she's still pissed because I moved Dad in here with me.

Edited by FairyDusted
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GreatKazu

GreatKazu

3 hours ago, druzy said:

Jenelle and David flip houses and don't fight

Flip houses???? Like Amber? HA! Jenelle couldn't even bother to work on her own home. Amber sits on couches and bitches while  Jenelle sits on porches and bitches. 

 

31 minutes ago, FairyDusted said:

Well I woke up with a chicken taco in one hand and a bottle of wine in the other @GreatKazu in her living room. Good times. Thanks! Got coffee?

I thought my wedding dress was trashy but no Janelle beat me out.

Oh and I didn't invite my Mother either. She can't control her mouth at my Father or his wife. I sent her a photo album but she threw it in the trash! 25 years later she's still pissed because I moved Dad in here with me.

Coffee coming up!

But Jenelle can't beat you in the humor department. You have that hands down. :-)  Dad must be a special man. 

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poopchute

poopchute

11 hours ago, heatherchandler said:

 

It's a double exposure!  What kind of bs photographer do they have??

It looks like she took a picture of a framed photo of herself. That looks like a reflection of window blinds, doesn’t it?

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Miss Chevious

Miss Chevious

Another thing I happened to notice while viewing pic/videos of the swamp nuptials - no music at the ceremony? Just a chorus of catcalls while they waiked up and down the aisle.

And no bouquet for Jenelle? She wasn't holding one when they went down the aisle afterwards.

A bit of music might have provided a touch of dignity and decorum to such a momentous occasion. 

Oh wait, who am I kidding. This is Jenelle, after all.

Poor Maryssa was a sherpa during the I do's. She looked distinctly uncomfortable shifting that baby's weight around during the whole thing. They couldn't stick Endtable in a wagon?

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MissMel

MissMel

I wondered about a bouquet, as well.  I also think she was wearing a black bathing suit under her dress and bathrobe.  Maybe?  And his sunglasses.  Am I wrong in thinking that people with vitiligo often have sensitive eyes to bright light?  

I rarely read comments at TheAshley but this one cracked me up and is so true!

ha.thumb.JPG.d7c9960219210f5e79cd6949dbed4db5.JPG

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FairyDusted

FairyDusted

(edited)
5 hours ago, GreatKazu said:

Flip houses???? Like Amber? HA! Jenelle couldn't even bother to work on her own home. Amber sits on couches and bitches while  Jenelle sits on porches and bitches. 

 

Coffee coming up!

But Jenelle can't beat you in the humor department. You have that hands down. :-)  Dad must be a special man. 

Thanks! Mind if I wake and bake? I get my funny from my Dad. We use the intercom system to cuss each other out for fun and chat during Judge Judy. LOL He's far from perfect but he never fucked my mothers friends and deserted her kids after taking every stick of furniture when she left. Oppps! Guess I'm still pissed.

Topic? Fuck YOU Janelle!

Edited by FairyDusted
To be clear: MOTHER LEFT not Him
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GreatKazu

GreatKazu

1 minute ago, FairyDusted said:

Thanks! Mind if I wake and bake? I get my funny from my Dad. We use the intercom system to cuss each other out for fun and chat during Judge Judy. LOL He's far from perfect but he never fucked my mothers friends and deserted her kids after taking every stick of furniture when she left. Oppps! Guess I'm still pissed.

Topic? Fuck YOU Janelle!

Love the Judge Judy part. Sounds like my husband when he is home on his days off. 

Yes, FUCK YOU Jenelle! That can never be posted enough!

2 minutes ago, MissMel said:

I wondered about a bouquet, as well.  I also think she was wearing a black bathing suit under her dress and bathrobe.  Maybe?  And his sunglasses.  Am I wrong in thinking that people with vitiligo often have sensitive eyes to bright light?  

I rarely read comments at TheAshley but this one cracked me up and is so true!

ha.thumb.JPG.d7c9960219210f5e79cd6949dbed4db5.JPG

When you fare better than Ryan and Mackenzie...

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lovesnark

lovesnark

Wonder what the swamp looks like this morning? I would imagine the trashtastic bride and groom and all of their equally trashy guests partied it up until there was no more booze on the property. I hope a bunch of people puked in the pool. Poor Maryssa will have to be extra diligent in keeping kaiser and Endtable quiet so as not to irritate all the hungover assholes. All the kids are probably locked out of the house.

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lovesnark

lovesnark

Just now, CofCinci said:

If Jenelle doesn't have a bouquet for the walk down the aisle -- it must be because she (or David) ruined it during a pre-wedding fight. There's no way a bouquet wasn't ordered. 

Did we see any pics of the walk down? I only saw pics of after. I bet you're right, though. Every bride I've ever seen carries her bouquet both ways. And, they usually have their bouquets when they come into the reception after signing the papers.

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lovesnark

lovesnark

(edited)

There is  pic of them on her instagram right after they turn to start the after walk. No bouquet in sight. But, Maryssa is holding Endtable, so she couldn't hold a bouquet, too. Also, Maryssa is wearing a flower crown. We know how much Jenelle loves her flower crowns and she's not wearing one. I bet the bouquet and flower crown were trashed in her tantrum the day before. In the pic, Kaiser is barefoot. Jace is wearing a too big suit and is holding his hand. 

Is anyone here not blocked from her twitter or instagram? Someone needs to say they thought the flowers were pretty and would love to see her bouquet.

Edited by lovesnark
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BitterApple

BitterApple

Wow, that dress does NOT flatter Jenelle's body type at all, and Jace looks like a little kid wearing his father's suit. I thought they went to New York to buy all this stuff and have it fitted? That's the best they could do?

Poor Maryssa looks like she's struggling to hold Ensley up. They really should've had an adult hold the baby for the ceremony and given her back to Maryssa to walk down the aisle.

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lovesnark

lovesnark

Thanks, druzy! That's the one I'm talking about. So, neither of them had attendants? Only the kids were standing up front for the ceremony. Says a lot. No friends for either of them. Also explains here needing UBT to be at her side kissing her ass the day before. She had no bridesmaids to do that job. 

1 minute ago, ghoulina said:

I wish he had stopped the wedding. And then they ran off together. And everyone could say, "I seen ya wit Keefah!"

Someone at The Ashely commented that they hoped Keiffer would swoop in tarzan style and pick her up. And, that he'd be wearing his famous green hoodie.

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iheartla

iheartla

Looks like she got her perfect faux redneck hoedown wedding, pool party included. That giant, future murderer could barely walk down the aisle. That was like 2015 Leah Messer level of fucked up. Leaning on Jenelle for balance, kla$$ee.

The lawn was long and scraggly. I know, you shouldn't mow newly laid sod, this is why planning ahead is important.

Jenelle's dress is see through, New Step-Dad's suit isn't tailored, Jace's suit is too big, Kaiser has no shoes, Maryssa had to hold Ensley the whole time, her poor arms must be sore.


Lastly, I don't see Footloose on her playlist, what is a wedding without Footloose? 

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ReadMeLattice

ReadMeLattice

(edited)

I think it looks cute, but I like weddings that look backyardy and somewhat casual rather than churchy or formal. It actually makes me a little ill because I thought some of the things she was posting were cute or pretty, but I know the sinister truth behind it and it makes it all really creepy and sad. :(

Also yes, the boys' outfits don't look good. Jace's suit def does not fit. I like the archway though.

Edited by Lm2162
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