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S12.E03: The Procreation Calculation


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The Wolowitzes’ life gets complicated when Stuart starts bringing his new girlfriend home. Also, Penny and Leonard talk about starting a family while Koothrappali explores an arranged marriage.

Airdate: Thursday, October 4, 2018

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That was...bleak.

Penny and Leonard just need to divorce. They are the worst married couple on the show and just awful together in general. Why are they even together? The fact that they - like all dysfunctional-in-real-life couples - got married without discussing having children first only makes them even worse. Why is Leonard compromising on this? Is being married to a dumb blonde who doesn't share his interests or have any of her own and seems annoyed by him all the time REALLY worth giving up fatherhood?

Raj and the odd girl getting married...uh, okay...

  • Love 18
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Ugh.  Why on earth did they resurrect "no boundaries" Amy?  Rubbing Vitamin E on each other perineums?  Breast feeding each other's babies?  WTH?  I did like Amy counting on Penny and Leonard's kids to be her kids' friends.  

The entire Anu story line is horrible.  

  • Love 23
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3 minutes ago, CleoCaesar said:

Uh, no. I'm suggesting he divorce her and find someone more compatible.

They pledged to each other for life.  Children or lack thereof shouldn't change your love for someone.  If it does/will, you have no business getting married in the first place.

  • Love 1
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I was upset at Leonard giving up so easily.   I wouldn't call it a compromise.  Penny made a decision.  Yes, it's hers to make, but I can't believe as a couple this didn't merit an actual discussion.

  • Love 12
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1 minute ago, Katy M said:

They pledged to each other for life.  Children or lack thereof shouldn't change your love for someone.  If it does/will, you have no business getting married in the first place.

That's my point - they had no business getting married in the first place.

Children are the dealbreaker.

  • Love 20
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5 minutes ago, CleoCaesar said:

That's my point - they had no business getting married in the first place.

Children are the dealbreaker.

They shouldn't be.  There are loads of couples who have both wanted children, assumed that they were going to have children, but couldn't get pregnant, and their marriages don't always fall apart.  And vice-versa, couples who both didn't want kids, but before they got around to permanently fixing the possibility, they get pregnant. The marriage has to come first.  Even before the kids.  Or, you're just not going to make it.  

  • Love 17
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I've always had a problem with Leonard and Penny and I blame lazy/bad writing on the show's part. They never knew what to do with L and P after they got the two of them together. The show's original concept was opposites attract so the show made them as opposite as possible but after 12 years and little to no change, well, you end up with the mess that was this episode.

 

And I know I'm the minority but I like the maybe future Mrs. Raj. I didn't like this storyline when it was brought up last week, but the she's smart and she's pretty much figured out Raj. And since she proposed this will let Raj go all Bridezilla over the wedding....and I might be back to not liking this again

  • Love 13
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just a thought, but maybe this was the start of Penny and Leonard discussing having children. It wasn't like she demanded he get a vasectomy. They could each give it more thought over the next few months and visit the discussions again. They could also discuss and explore with each other why they did/didn't want to have children. And there's always a possibility that they decided they wanted to and then couldn't. I don't think they are the worst married people on tv or in real life. Yes, it should probably be discussed ahead of time, but many people assume they want one thing and that it's the same as their partner. And I do know what assume means, been on both sides.

  • Love 19
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1 hour ago, Katy M said:

Am I the only one who finds Amy just absolutely creepy a lot of the time?

No, you are not.

 

19 minutes ago, mammaM said:

And I know I'm the minority but I like the maybe future Mrs. Raj. I didn't like this storyline when it was brought up last week, but the she's smart and she's pretty much figured out Raj. And since she proposed this will let Raj go all Bridezilla over the wedding....and I might be back to not liking this again

I kinda liked her, too, at least at the end. (But then I think we weren't supposed to like her at first.) I'm not totally against the arranged marriage idea, though maybe they should have more than one and a half dates. (Has she been in something else? She seemed familiar..her voice more than her face, though.)

Raj is gonna make Cinnamon the flower girl, isn't he?

  • Love 10
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The thing is Leonard wasn't terribly adamant about it. He said he'd always assumed that he would have kids. That's different than kids being a deal breaker.  I did think Amy's reaction was funny. Bernadette and Howard sitting on the couch trying not to listen to Stuart's luuuurve music cracked me up.

  • Love 24
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I know I don't live in sitcom land, so this is just a silly notion, but...just tell Stewart to turn the damn music down? And what is up with the acoustics in this house that you can hear music from his room equally loudly in both the living room and H&B's bedroom, but only the music being played in their bedroom wakes up the baby?

  • Love 8
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21 minutes ago, AuntieL said:

The thing is Leonard wasn't terribly adamant about it. He said he'd always assumed that he would have kids.

Maybe, but Leonard's face sure lit up when he thought Penny was announcing that she was pregnant.

  • Love 11
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Guess I'm in the minority here, but this episode was actually pretty good IMO.  I like Raj's fiance, she's got a real Mindy Kaling vibe going on.  Will probably fit in a lot better with the group than any of Raj's past GFs.  I hope they go the distance with the S/L.  Even Stuart's found love, heh.

And although it might not be an option in TBBT universe, those of us here IRL can actually purchase a working, road-worthy Batmobile replica if you have a couple of bucks lying around:

https://www.hammacher.com/product/authentic-1966-batmobile

Edited by Winston Wolfe
  • Love 12
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I hate what they do with the Amy character.  She is smart and on point about a lot of things, and then they take her into creepy territory.  Amy telling Penny she was looking forward to their children being friends was sweet, and her comments about Amy and Sheldon's combined DNA not resulting in a child who was great at being social was funny, but the writers couldn't leave it at that.  Idiots.

Leonard and Penny should have discussed having children before they got married.  I'm going to hate it if they have Penny change her mind.  There is nothing wrong with not wanting to have kids, and there are to many people who have kids, but don't raise or take care of them.

  • Love 23
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3 hours ago, Katy M said:

There are loads of couples who have both wanted children, assumed that they were going to have children, but couldn't get pregnant, and their marriages don't always fall apart.

And there also loads where the difference did end up becoming an issue. The fact that they didn’t discuss it is mind blowing. I have been with someone so long that I forget the exact timeline of when I used to bring up the fact that I didn’t want to be married or have children when initially dating someone but it was fairly early and definitely well  before I got into any serious relationship. 

Edited by biakbiak
  • Love 6
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Bernadette didn't want kids when she first came on the show.  If I recall correctly, at first she only agreed to have them if Howard was primary caregiver.  So pretty much anything can happen in the next (last) 20 episodes to Leonard and Penny.

  • Love 15
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Anu's voice sounded familiar to me, too. I just couldn't figure out who she reminded me of. I wasn't expecting her proposal and I'm glad the show can still surprise me. 

A Sheldon-lite episode is always good for me. I assume that Penny and Leonard will talk more about kids, whether she just doesn't want to physically have them (so adoption might be an option) or doesn't want to stay home with them, or what. It actually makes sense to me that Leonard would just "assume" they'd have kids and never mention it to her. That seems par for the course. 

Enough has been said about Amy's wild inappropriateness. 

  • Love 5
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5 hours ago, Frost said:

Ugh.  Why on earth did they resurrect "no boundaries" Amy?  Rubbing Vitamin E on each other perineums?  Breast feeding each other's babies?  WTH?  I did like Amy counting on Penny and Leonard's kids to be her kids' friends.  

The entire Anu story line is horrible.  

I agree with your first paragraph, but not the second.  I thought we had put that Amy behind us.  I wonder what she was reaching for at the end of that scene before Penny stopped her with a "No"?  I hope this wasn't the beginning of a Penny and Leonard have a baby story.

But I did like Anu.  I see no reason why their arranged marriage can't be successful.  As Raj said, it's worked for millions of other people in their tradition.  Besides, they filled out a questionnaire

4 hours ago, Frost said:

I was upset at Leonard giving up so easily.   I wouldn't call it a compromise.  Penny made a decision.  Yes, it's hers to make, but I can't believe as a couple this didn't merit an actual discussion.

Fair enough, but Leonard caves to Penny on everything else, I don't see why this should be any different.

  • Love 8
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I don’t typically notice background actors unless they are super over the top in some way but I liked the woman in the background of the proposal scene it seemed so natural and not calling attention but making the scene feel real. The random claps from the other tables not so much.

  • Love 7
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I didn't think it was a very good Batmobile.  I don't remember any orange stripes on the original.

So we learned Leonard's sister has five sons, whose names Sheldon recited in order, and Leonard's brother "has children" of unidentified quantity and gender.  Will we ever meet brother and sister?

  • Love 5
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6 minutes ago, Browncoat said:

I didn’t like that Leonard brought Penny’s dad into the kids discussion.  

Yeah, but it was consistent with Leonard's past interactions with Penny's dad. I guess any Keith Carradine appearance on the show comes at such a cost.

  • Love 7
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1 hour ago, Browncoat said:

I didn’t like that Leonard brought Penny’s dad into the kids discussion.  

I didn't like her father's response.  I don't know why anybody (Penny's father, Leonard, Amy, Bernadette) would think it's a good idea to nag someone into having kids who doesn't want them.  Can you imagine being that child.  "My mom doesn't really like me.  She just had me because she was sick of everybody telling her she was wrong."

On the other hand, Howard had a concern that Raj wouldn't be happy, brought it up, and then later told him it was his decision and he would support it. Who would ever think Howard would be the most mature and reasonable person on any episode?

Edited by Katy M
  • Love 22
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Remember the episode when Raj threw the murder-mystery party with the forward-in-time leap?  Penny said that she wasn’t putting her body through 3 pregnancies, and Leonard was dismayed about that limit.  Hard to believe there never was a follow-up conversation after that.

But I liked Raj’s storyline, and I hope he gets his happily ever after.

  • Love 8
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8 hours ago, Winston Wolfe said:

Guess I'm in the minority here, but this episode was actually pretty good IMO.  I like Raj's fiance, she's got a real Mindy Kaling vibe going on.  Will probably fit in a lot better with the group than any of Raj's past GFs.  I hope they go the distance with the S/L.  Even Stuart's found love, heh.

And although it might not be an option in TBBT universe, those of us here IRL can actually purchase a working, road-worthy Batmobile replica if you have a couple of bucks lying around:

https://www.hammacher.com/product/authentic-1966-batmobile

 

Nope, I liked it too. And I'm gonna disagree on some points others have made....I never ever thought we saw the end of Clingy, Kinda Creepy Amy. Did everyone forget her reaction last season when Penny finally admitted she was her best friend? She practically shoved Howard out of the window to get to Penny to hug her. I expect Amy to always have bordering on inappropriate feelings and reactions to Penny. She is the girl Amy always wished she was besties with, I don't think she is ever gonna completely stop being amazed at that and acting accordingly. 

It's completely realistic to me that Penny and Leonard never discussed children. Yes, Leonard seemed happy when he thought she was about to tell him she was pregnant, but I felt that was more from the sheer surprise of it all. I have never felt like Leonard really cared one way or the other and much like Penny, I feel like he likes the life they have now. And Penny could very well change her mind, like Bernie did, and Leonard could change his. I don't see it as a dealbreaker for this relationship. I agree with Stuart's assessment back in the Raj's Murder Mystery episode when he was the victim, and talked about how Penny and Leonard helped each other. Because looking back, they're really the only couple who can say that. Bernie helped Howard not be such a weirdo, Amy has helped Sheldon so much socially, but what have Howard and Sheldon done to help them in return? In both these cases, it was the female half who had to help their partners grow. Like Stuart said, with Penny and Leonard, that growth was mutual. 

I was really surprised when Anu proposed. Instead of just letting him go and starting over, she showed she could adapt to things Raj needs. And I gotta say, he was super cute getting his own Sandra Bullock moment, I'm glad he was on the receiving end for a change. 

Maybe I'm just getting nostalgic in my old age but I'm trying to treasure this last season we have with this group of characters who have brought me so much laughter. I'm definitely gonna miss them all. 

  • Love 23
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Maybe Penny kind of thought she might have kids one day, but after seeing what Bernadette and Howard are going through she changed her  mind.  She's getting to see the reality of having kids - not that it's a bad thing, but those first few months can be pretty tough!  

24 minutes ago, Badsamaritan said:

. Instead of just letting him go and starting over, she showed she could adapt to things Raj needs. And I gotta say, he was super cute getting his own Sandra Bullock moment, I'm glad he was on the receiving end for a change. 

If they do get married, maybe she will soften up over time and she'll end up being the perfect one for Raj. We know that Raj will do anything for the people he cares about, so hopefully she'll continue to be considerate of his needs too.  

  • Love 9
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7 hours ago, craziness said:

Bernadette didn't want kids when she first came on the show.  If I recall correctly, at first she only agreed to have them if Howard was primary caregiver.  So pretty much anything can happen in the next (last) 20 episodes to Leonard and Penny.

I really hated that the show chickened out and had her agree to have kids after all, and I'm worried the same thing will happen with Penny. Why can't TV shows just let people be happily childless?

  • Love 18
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10 hours ago, Winston Wolfe said:

 I like Raj's fiance, she's got a real Mindy Kaling vibe going on. 

I noticed that, too. I wonder if they had considered her for the part.

6 hours ago, rmontro said:

But I did like Anu.  I see no reason why their arranged marriage can't be successful.  As Raj said, it's worked for millions of other people in their tradition.  Besides, they filled out a questionnaire

As unromantic as it is, the fact that they wanted to learn about each other and discuss unsexy stuff like finances is pretty smart. I don't know, I've been saying for a couple of years now that I would like to see the show go down this path with Raj and show this kind of "introduction marriage" in a light that Americans don't often see. Some of my Indian-Americans friends' parents met that way and have been happily married for decades!

  • Love 9
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1 hour ago, Badsamaritan said:

 

I was really surprised when Anu proposed. Instead of just letting him go and starting over, she showed she could adapt to things Raj needs. And I gotta say, he was super cute getting his own Sandra Bullock moment, I'm glad he was on the receiving end for a change. 

That's what made me like her. I said up thread, she figured Raj out. Raj is always going to be the more overtly emotional person in any relationship, Anu realized he wanted his Sandra Bullock moment (love that phrase BTW) and gave it to him. 

And to whoever mentioned it, Cinnamon is SO gonna be in the wedding. 

  • Love 15
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7 hours ago, rmontro said:

But I did like Anu.  I see no reason why their arranged marriage can't be successful.  As Raj said, it's worked for millions of other people in their tradition.  Besides, they filled out a questionnaire

Penny introduced Howard to Bernadette because of Leonard and Howard's pack that if one of them ever got a girlfriend they would ask that girlfriend to introduce her friends to his friends.  Howard and Raj set up Sheldon and Amy on a dating website.  Amy hasn't gotten Sheldon to compromise as much as I thought he should, but they seem very happy.  It took them a while to get here, but Amy and Sheldon's reaction to Leonard and Penny's wedding present (believing they had given them the great present of a scavenger hunt, and I hope Amy and Sheldon never find out the truth), seems to indicate they are on the same page.

Raj realized he sucked at dating, finding and keeping someone he really wanted to be with.  He asked his father for help, and it seems Raj's father was able to find someone who figured out Raj pretty quickly.  So Raj's father could very well know exactly what he is doing, and what Raj needs in a relationship.  There are a lot of people who are madly passionately in love with each other whose marriages fail anyway.

Howard and Bernadette and Sheldon and Amy didn't start out in love, but they got there, and it wasn't smooth sailing all the way.

 

1 hour ago, Katy M said:

I didn't like her father's response.  I don't know why anybody (Penny's father, Leonard, Amy, Bernadette) would think it's a good idea to nag someone into having kids who doesn't want them.  Can you imagine being that child.  "My mom doesn't really like me.  She just had me because she was sick of everybody telling her she was wrong."

I agree.  I would hate for Penny to have children just because her dad wanted her to.  That's not fair to any child Penny and Leonard would have at all.

  • Love 8
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12 hours ago, Frost said:

I was upset at Leonard giving up so easily.   I wouldn't call it a compromise.  Penny made a decision.  Yes, it's hers to make, but I can't believe as a couple this didn't merit an actual discussion.

Well, when you run off to Vegas to get married because your annoying roommate hassles you into it, you don't have a lot of time to discuss children.

Seriously, though, having/not having children is probably the single biggest deal breaker for a couple, and it's a little unbelievable that, after seeing what Howard went through when Bernadette said she didn't want them, Leonard wouldn't have broached the subject before they got married.

Other than the Batmobile at the end, I hated this episode.  That woman is totally wrong for Raj and they'll make each other miserable.  Bernadette's treatment of Penny was vile.  Amy was back to being incredibly creepy.  And is Stuart living in the Wolowitz house or above the garage?  If he's in the house, they all need to work out some boundaries; otherwise, learned to live with him having a love life.

12 hours ago, Katy M said:

They shouldn't be.  There are loads of couples who have both wanted children, assumed that they were going to have children, but couldn't get pregnant, and their marriages don't always fall apart.  And vice-versa, couples who both didn't want kids, but before they got around to permanently fixing the possibility, they get pregnant. The marriage has to come first.  Even before the kids.  Or, you're just not going to make it.  

One of them really wanting children and the other one really not wanting children is a deal breaker.  There's no real way to compromise for most people.

8 hours ago, craziness said:

Bernadette didn't want kids when she first came on the show.  If I recall correctly, at first she only agreed to have them if Howard was primary caregiver.  So pretty much anything can happen in the next (last) 20 episodes to Leonard and Penny.

And I hated that they made Bernadette change her mind.  So if they do that to Penny as well, THAT would be a deal breaker for me and the show.  Fortunately it's the last season, so I won't have missed much.

  • Love 4
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11 minutes ago, proserpina65 said:

That woman is totally wrong for Raj and they'll make each other miserable. 

Maybe.  Maybe not.  They both have pretty different personalities. But, on the other hand, we know that Raj tends to be a people pleaser.  And we just saw that Anu can listen and respond with what Raj wants.  They may end up making each other very happy.  He'll bring out her more emotional/romantic side.  And she'll bring out his more practical side helping him to be responsible with finances and not always dreaming.  They make end up making the perfect complement.

 

14 minutes ago, proserpina65 said:

One of them really wanting children and the other one really not wanting children is a deal breaker.  There's no real way to compromise for most people.

There is no way to compromise.  You are correct on that.  But, if having children were that important to Leonard, he probably would have mentioned it.  We've never really seen him go gaga over Howard's kids.  I don't even think he'd make a particularly good father.  He'd teach his children to be petty and probably pass on his low self-esteem.  From the way he talks it's not like he had good parenting role models.  And, like I said before, if you don't love someone enough to stick with them during any circumstance, you had no right getting married in the first place.  Even couples who both want children will sometimes end up childless due to nature. 

  • Love 6
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3 minutes ago, Katy M said:

Maybe.  Maybe not.  They both have pretty different personalities. But, on the other hand, we know that Raj tends to be a people pleaser.  And we just saw that Anu can listen and respond with what Raj wants.  They may end up making each other very happy.  He'll bring out her more emotional/romantic side.  And she'll bring out his more practical side helping him to be responsible with finances and not always dreaming.  They make end up making the perfect complement.

 

There is no way to compromise.  You are correct on that.  But, if having children were that important to Leonard, he probably would have mentioned it.  We've never really seen him go gaga over Howard's kids.  I don't even think he'd make a particularly good father.  He'd teach his children to be petty and probably pass on his low self-esteem.  From the way he talks it's not like he had good parenting role models.  And, like I said before, if you don't love someone enough to stick with them during any circumstance, you had no right getting married in the first place.  Even couples who both want children will sometimes end up childless due to nature. 

Unless they soften Anu up quite a lot, I'm sticking by my original assessment.  I really don't like how overbearing she is.

I do agree, however, that the writers have never given us any indication that Leonard was all the into having kids.  And in real life, it's not about loving each other, it's about being compatible, and a couple isn't compatible if one of them desperately wants children and the other one does not.

  • Love 1
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Wow it’s a really bad episode when Raj is the star of it.  I kinda liked where is storyline went.   He originally walked away from a potential wife that wanted more a business arrangement then a marriage which caused her to seemingly make it more romantic.  

I am not sure about the Penny/Leonard stuff.  Leonard has always gone head first into his relationship with Penny and assumed things.   Have they never talked about a family?   Bearnadete and Amy getting involved took on the different aspects of people finding out a friend doesn’t want kids.  Ranging from. “ don’t be silly of course you do.”  To “will we still be friend later”.   

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3 minutes ago, Chaos Theory said:

Wow it’s a really bad episode when Raj is the star of it.  I kinda liked where is storyline went.   He originally walked away from a potential wife that wanted more a business arrangement then a marriage which caused her to seemingly make it more romantic.  

I have a hunch that Anu (?) will be the one to curb Raj's asshole-tendencies.  As another poster pointed out, she figured him out very quickly, and Raj can easily be dominated by strong women.  Also, despite her pragmatic, assertive nature Anu seems to have a sweet side that Raj's romantic nature speaks to.  The proposal did surprise me; I expected her to call him back after he walked away...but to suggest continued dating, not matrimony.  Could be after 11 seasons the writers felt like they had mined the "Raj can't find a woman" well as deep as they could.

  • Love 5
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21 hours ago, shapeshifter said:

<small voice>I kind of liked it.</small voice>

At least, I really liked the two endings with Raj getting his romantic proposal and Leonard yelling, "Hop in, Robin!"

As much as I was "Ewwww" with Stuart and Denise getting it on in the Wolowitz house, I was like "Fucking FINALLY!" after how many seasons that Stuart had a relationship that lasted more than two episodes.

 

The coitus was just bonus.

 

(And, it was only the mood music; not the sounds of Stuart)

Edited by NutmegsDad
There is no F in Wolowitz, unless Bernie is swearing
  • Love 3
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7 hours ago, rmontro said:

But I did like Anu.  I see no reason why their arranged marriage can't be successful.  As Raj said, it's worked for millions of other people in their tradition.  Besides, they filled out a questionnaire

I am fine with the arranged marriage.  I'm unhappy they made Anu into a bully.  Her behavior at the restaurant on their first date to the wait staff was horrible.  All four of the women in relationships with the four main men are domineering.  Bernadette and the allowance she gives Howard.  Penny basically always getting her way.  Amy ordering Sheldon to play with his phone when she thought he was being inappropriate.  And now Anu.   She stated outright she wants to marry him because he's tall and he caved because she proposed.  I find it irritating.  

Note to Chuck Lorre - strong, confident women don't have to be harridans!!!!

  • Love 9
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7 minutes ago, Winston Wolfe said:

I have a hunch that Anu (?) will be the one to curb Raj's asshole-tendencies.  As another poster pointed out, she figured him out very quickly, and Raj can easily be dominated by strong women.  Also, despite her pragmatic, assertive nature Anu seems to have a sweet side that Raj's romantic nature speaks to.  The proposal did surprise me; I expected her to call him back after he walked away...but to suggest continued dating, not matrimony.  Could be after 11 seasons the writers felt like they had mined the "Raj can't find a woman" well as deep as they could.

This is also the last season and to not give Raj at least the potential for a happy ending would seem cruel.  And despite his “asshole tendencies”. He is a born romantic so a happy ending for him is love.  Unless of course the show is going to pipe bomb all the characters in that case...who knows.  

Edited by Chaos Theory
  • Love 3
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