S07.E13: A Future to Believe In

[ezzy4]

Gwad, i hate it when people who LIE try to push off the chaos left in the wake of their LIES by claiming there is a "communication problem". Ug.  I hate Mia.

[scruffy73]

Look, I’m no Mia fan at all but damn. Tristan accepted all the beginning foolishness but gets mad when she doesn’t put him on her health insurance when he didn’t even tell her he cancelled his coverage? And how stupid is he to do that in the middle of an experiment with a woman that is clearly untrustworthy!?!? Sorry but Tristan is the wrong one in this one.

[gonecrackers]

Mia is the type of person that does a lot of detrimental things she'll never make herself accountable for, & the person she's with will always be her scapegoat. There's a reason her ex ran & a reason why she wouldn't let him go. She'll always be the one being wronged, always.

Yes Tristan got himself into this & is an idiot, but I'm seeing all kinds of insanity with Mia, & the 'experts' are not only condoning, but encouraging the crazy.

And Pepper called this their 'best season yet' - I really feel it's the most fucked up season yet.

[LilaFowler]

Apart from Danielle and Bobby, the other two couples feel fake to me. They're doing things specifically to look a certain way on camera. It would not shock me if all three couples decided to stay married on D-Day just because it will look better for them if they do.

I don't think it is a good idea for the couples to spend so much time together. They get weirdly competitive with each other about who is "doing better" when it shouldn't be about that.

[scruffy73]

1 minute ago, LilaFowler said:

Apart from Danielle and Bobby, the other two couples feel fake to me. They're doing things specifically to look a certain way on camera. It would not shock me if all three couples decided to stay married on D-Day just because it will look better for them if they do.

I don't think it is a good idea for the couples to spend so much time together. They get weirdly competitive with each other about who is "doing better" when it shouldn't be about that.

I agree. Dave has already said he is looking past decision day. I think he doesn’t consider decision day the end date of his marriage. Amber is definitely in competition with Danielle and Bobby.

[Neurochick]

13 minutes ago, LilaFowler said:

This colorist fool Tristan deserves whatever bullshit Mia dishes out to him.

If Mia looked like Shawnice or Shelia, Tristan would have sent her packing when the stalking allegations came out.

[Caseysgirl]

Tristan was totally looking for any excuse to dump Mia without looking guilty. He couldn’t stand to stay until the very end. Kind of a lame reason, when her arrest at the airport would have been acceptable. If she hadn’t been attractive, he would have dumped her sooner.

[scruffy73]

Why does Pastor Cal day that’s tristan

and Mia have a good foundation? NONE of these folks have a foundation! They are strangers! 

[Crazy Bird Lady]

Disgusting. 

The "experts" managed to talk Mia and Tristan into moving back in together. And they agreed to do it.

Was it really because they want to fulfill the MAFS contract --or are Tristan and Mia really that stupid?

[Happyfatchick]

I tell you what:  that insurance discussion went from zero to 60 in .0003 seconds.  She should have been shocked he cancelled his insurance without her knowing.  It was speculated last week that Tristan’s finances were in the dumpster - he didn’t want to pay his insurance premiums any more (they were probably being paid thru his business, which is suffering).  He maybe didn’t even cancel, he may have been cut off for non-payment.  Which means not only is he looking for insurance coverage, he wants Mia to put him on her plan, and the premiums will be deducted from her wages.  

I just thought Tristan came out looking like a total tool this time.  Can’t feel sorry for him, or think he missed some communication nugget - he’s a nervous wreck, he needs Zoloft, and he needs to grow up.   He kicked her tf out.  OUT!  And then seemed confused about their status.  “I didn’t say the marriage was over...”.  No?  What did you say when you put her belongings out the door??  He confuses me.  She confuses me.  how many times can you be DONE, Tristan?  Get out a big old fork, this one really is done.  The fat lady is doing her scales in th warm up room.

I’ve  actually wondered if he’s afraid to split with Mia.  He knows she’s psycho.  He’s afraid he’ll come home and find his bunnies on the stove...

[princelina]

1 hour ago, gonecrackers said:

And Pepper called this their 'best season yet' - I really feel it's the most fucked up season yet.

That's what she meant ;)

I do a lot of hand-waving and ignoring things to enjoy this show, but tonight had the stench of producer set-ups and intervention all over it.  I find it hard to believe that Tristan would have cancelled his insurance already, and I find it even harder to believe that he has this "great passion" for Mia.  And was it Pepper who said they matched them because they were both "passionate people"?  Please - Mia's shrinking violet act does not say "passionate" to me, although maybe Pepper can read personality traits into bow-butt thongs.  

Dave's gardening project, inviting other couples over for "field day", and them all discussing their retirement was just stupid.  Although I do agree with Amber that she was born to live in a retirement village!

My prediction:  producers are taking advantage of Danielle's natural reticence to "build suspense" - she will come out with the "I love you" after one of the experts asks them if they are going to stay married . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . or get a DIVORCE?  And then a dozen commercials play, and then we hear the question again, and then suspenseful music will play while they all sit there awkwardly, and then Danielle will make an awkward and enigmatic speech, finally ending it with those three little words that will make Bobby's heart sing! And for those of us whose DVRs haven't cut off - we will get to enjoy it :)

 

ETA:  @Happyfatchick was posting the same time as me - I can believe that Tristan got cut off for nonpayment so thanks for clearing that up!!

Edited September 26, 2018 by princelina

[shouldbedancing]

Tristan, please! Leave! Your body is fighting for you. There's a reason that you have these violent reactions to her. The marriage was broken the minute she got arrested and lied about it. You'll never be able to fully trust her. She will always pull of that innocent act and your body will scream No! Something's not right! but you let these outside influences get in your head and twist things around and now it's your fault. Yes, you're not perfect either but mostly because you're not getting out. Just leave. Don't listen to anyone else. This is painful to watch. And yeah, they both have issues that need to be worked on separately. I feel like every black couple on this show crashes and burns so hard.

[LilaFowler]

Oh, I immediately knew something was up with Tristan and his health insurance. He's self-employed, correct? If he is able to weasel his way onto Mia's plan, even if they divorce he could still be eligible for coverage through COBRA for up to 36 months. He would have to pay the full amount as her company wouldn't pay towards his plan, but he would get the group rate which is very likely cheaper than whatever rate he was paying for himself before.

Shady.

This is still an experiment. Changing your name, changing health insurance coverage... I think this is nuts. I'm completely Team Mia on this one. Yes, she lied in the beginning. Yes, she's a weirdo thief and stalker. That still doesn't mean that Tristan should basically insist that she pay for his health care coverage because he's unwilling or unable to do so. She doesn't owe him that and two wrongs don't make a right. Divorce her.

[Happyfatchick]

@LilaFowler, I love you if for no other reason than your avatar.  Can we be together forever?  Can you put me on your insurance?

[Gem 10]

3 hours ago, gonecrackers said:

I feel like I'm watching a business meeting Danielle is running from the lounge chair.

A business meeting is so right.  She’s setting up their future, kids, retirement, etc. on her business pad.  No mention yet of one important thing.  Does she love him?  Nothing said yet.  What is she waiting for .. a business meeting.  Write it on your pad and say it already.  She is ridiculous.

[Gem 10]

36 minutes ago, Happyfatchick said:

@LilaFowler, I love you if for no other reason than your avatar.  Can we be together forever?  Can you put me on your insurance?

Hahaha .. that nut job from 90 day fiancé and the guy from Sweden, a U.S. wannabe. Lol.  So ridiculous, but we can’t stop watching.

[LennieBriscoe]

I felt a twinge of sadness watching Bobby follow Danielle as she walked right past him in the kitchen without so much as a glance in his direction,  as she sought the dogs. The dogs that BOBBY takes care of. THREE dogs. I started out not liking Danielle's eyebrows; I'm starting to dislike the whole person now. 

And don't leave a letter with a fancy font but zero mention of love, even in closing. 

Amber isn't really the one for Dave (who, for some reason, is always shown eating). They were "total strangers" during that forced "family traditions" conversation.  

Can't stand T and M.  Their discussions, their personalities, even the surroundings the show has them in are mind-numbingly dull.

[Yeah No]

Tristan thought he could get rid of Mia by forcing the move to Houston on her, but she went for it, so he had to find another "reason" to dump her.  He hasn't trusted her from day one.  He has only stayed in the relationship out of contractual obligation and has only been able to pull off a semi-convincing act that he's all-in with her.  Of course we here can see through that.  His exaggerated reaction to her response to him cancelling his health insurance was his next attempt to escape the prison of this charade of a relationship.  Pastor Cal trying to convince them to stay together is only a finger in the dike.  Tristan will find another reason to dump her.  Dude should just own up to it if he's not really into her.  Why is he forcing himself to look like he's really into her when it's so painfully obvious to anyone with a working brain that he is NOT?  I think he is invested in looking like their relationship is going to work out.  Maybe he doesn't want to admit defeat or is being pushed into it by the show, but whatever it is, it's obvious that it's only a matter of time until the next time they have a blowout.  I think he should have followed his gut and dumped her after he found out about her arrest and she lied to him.  No way would any relationship starting off as strangers survive that in "real life".

[bichonblitz]

6 hours ago, Crazy Bird Lady said:

The "experts" managed to talk Mia and Tristan into moving back in together. And they agreed to do it.

Was it really because they want to fulfill the MAFS contract --or are Tristan and Mia really that stupid?

I vote for fulfilling the contract. 

7 hours ago, PityFree said:

Gawd. Amber and Dave Are still not at the point where they can engage in small talk comfortably. it’s like they just met 20 minutes ago. It’s so painful to watch!

But they have sex every single day as Dave had to point out again tonight. And they still act like strangers. Weird. 

Edited September 26, 2018 by bichonblitz

[Crazy Bird Lady]

8 hours ago, LilaFowler said:

Oh, I immediately knew something was up with Tristan and his health insurance. He's self-employed, correct? If he is able to weasel his way onto Mia's plan, even if they divorce he could still be eligible for coverage through COBRA for up to 36 months. He would have to pay the full amount as her company wouldn't pay towards his plan, but he would get the group rate which is very likely cheaper than whatever rate he was paying for himself before.

Shady.

This is still an experiment. Changing your name, changing health insurance coverage... I think this is nuts. I'm completely Team Mia on this one. Yes, she lied in the beginning. Yes, she's a weirdo thief and stalker. That still doesn't mean that Tristan should basically insist that she pay for his health care coverage because he's unwilling or unable to do so. She doesn't owe him that and two wrongs don't make a right. Divorce her.

Exactly!

The worst part is, Tristan didn't even talk to Mia about his intention to cancel his own plan so he could 'just use Mia's'. 

Tristan assumed. (And as almost everyone knows, when you assume, you make an ass of u and me.

[Jeanne222]

8 hours ago, Happyfatchick said:

I tell you what:  that insurance discussion went from zero to 60 in .0003 seconds.  She should have been shocked he cancelled his insurance without her knowing.  It was speculated last week that Tristan’s finances were in the dumpster - he didn’t want to pay his insurance premiums any more (they were probably being paid thru his business, which is suffering).  He maybe didn’t even cancel, he may have been cut off for non-payment.  Which means not only is he looking for insurance coverage, he wants Mia to put him on her plan, and the premiums will be deducted from her wages.  

I just thought Tristan came out looking like a total tool this time.  Can’t feel sorry for him, or think he missed some communication nugget - he’s a nervous wreck, he needs Zoloft, and he needs to grow up.   He kicked her tf out.  OUT!  And then seemed confused about their status.  “I didn’t say the marriage was over...”.  No?  What did you say when you put her belongings out the door??  He confuses me.  She confuses me.  how many times can you be DONE, Tristan?  Get out a big old fork, this one really is done.  The fat lady is doing her scales in th warm up room.

I’ve  actually wondered if he’s afraid to split with Mia.  He knows she’s psycho.  He’s afraid he’ll come home and find his bunnies on the stove...

you said what I'm thinking.  I don't care for Mia but Tristan had no right to throw her out!  Shame on him!  Honestly I'm wondering if Mia even has a job with health insurance?  If they agreed she'd cover him what's the hold up!  Go in the office sign him up!  

I agree things look bad for Tristan in the business he started and they are living on network money.

I still can't believe he had the balls to pack her up and put her things in the hallway!  He's an ass hole and maybe they do belong together!

Edited September 26, 2018 by Jeanne222

[qtpye]

9 hours ago, LilaFowler said:

I lol'd at Danielle's cutting "I'd rather lose at Field Day and win at marriage."

 

9 hours ago, gonecrackers said:

Dave got a bit catty there with the 'not so perfect 10' comment.

 

9 hours ago, LilaFowler said:

Apart from Danielle and Bobby, the other two couples feel fake to me. They're doing things specifically to look a certain way on camera. It would not shock me if all three couples decided to stay married on D-Day just because it will look better for them if they do.

I don't think it is a good idea for the couples to spend so much time together. They get weirdly competitive with each other about who is "doing better" when it shouldn't be about that.

 

9 hours ago, scruffy73 said:

I agree. Dave has already said he is looking past decision day. I think he doesn’t consider decision day the end date of his marriage. Amber is definitely in competition with Danielle and Bobby.

Does anyone have a feeling that Amber and Danielle do not like each other? Usually, all the wives and husbands seem to get along well and I know some of the wives from past seasons have stayed friends with other wives even though their marriages ended in divorce. Danielle is normally a pretty mild person but that "I rather lose at Field Day and win at marriage" was pure shade.

I do think the couples do get competitive. I remember Jon from last season being so proud because he got "the prettiest wife of the group"...yeah Jon, how did that work out for you?...and I like Jon.

Having Dave go against Bobby in a Field Day tug of war is like pitting the Incredible Hulk against Sponge Bob Square Pants. Even Danielle knew there was no point of trying and let go of the rope...who needs the rope burn for nothing.

8 hours ago, Happyfatchick said:

I tell you what:  that insurance discussion went from zero to 60 in .0003 seconds.  She should have been shocked he cancelled his insurance without her knowing.  It was speculated last week that Tristan’s finances were in the dumpster - he didn’t want to pay his insurance premiums any more (they were probably being paid thru his business, which is suffering).  He maybe didn’t even cancel, he may have been cut off for non-payment.  Which means not only is he looking for insurance coverage, he wants Mia to put him on her plan, and the premiums will be deducted from her wages.  

I just thought Tristan came out looking like a total tool this time.  Can’t feel sorry for him, or think he missed some communication nugget - he’s a nervous wreck, he needs Zoloft, and he needs to grow up.   He kicked her tf out.  OUT!  And then seemed confused about their status.  “I didn’t say the marriage was over...”.  No?  What did you say when you put her belongings out the door??  He confuses me.  She confuses me.  how many times can you be DONE, Tristan?  Get out a big old fork, this one really is done.  The fat lady is doing her scales in th warm up room.

I’ve  actually wondered if he’s afraid to split with Mia.  He knows she’s psycho.  He’s afraid he’ll come home and find his bunnies on the stove...

8 hours ago, LilaFowler said:

Oh, I immediately knew something was up with Tristan and his health insurance. He's self-employed, correct? If he is able to weasel his way onto Mia's plan, even if they divorce he could still be eligible for coverage through COBRA for up to 36 months. He would have to pay the full amount as her company wouldn't pay towards his plan, but he would get the group rate which is very likely cheaper than whatever rate he was paying for himself before.

Shady.

This is still an experiment. Changing your name, changing health insurance coverage... I think this is nuts. I'm completely Team Mia on this one. Yes, she lied in the beginning. Yes, she's a weirdo thief and stalker. That still doesn't mean that Tristan should basically insist that she pay for his health care coverage because he's unwilling or unable to do so. She doesn't owe him that and two wrongs don't make a right. Divorce her.

I have a feeling that Tristan is just as shady as Mia. The difference is that he is shady about his finances and she is shady about her personal life. He was absolutely trying to force and guilt her into taking on his insurance responsibilities. He is self-employed and I bet his insurance premiums are pretty high, even getting on COBRA would be a step up for him. I think his business is not doing well and he was hoping for Mia's relatively stable income and benefits were going to help him get through some hard times. Money is probably the real reason that he wanted to stay with Mia, not true love or God.  

[Crazy Bird Lady]

12 minutes ago, Jeanne222 said:

you said what I'm thinking.  I don't care for Mia but Tristan had no right to throw her out!  Shame on him!  Honestly I'm wondering if Mia even has a job with health insurance?  If they agreed she'd cover him what's the hold up!  Go in the office sign him up!  

[Crazy Bird Lady: I guess you must've missed that part. Tristan canceled (or lost, due to non-payment?) his health care without saying a word to Mia about it. Then, he got enraged at Mia because she hadn't "gotten around to" putting him on her health care plan. Super-shady.]

 

I agree things look bad for Tristan in the business he started and they are living on network money.

I still think they've been keeping the heat turned off in that apartment so they can save money...

Edited September 26, 2018 by Crazy Bird Lady

[Gem 10]

6 hours ago, LennieBriscoe said:

I felt a twinge of sadness watching Bobby follow Danielle as she walked right past him in the kitchen without so much as a glance in his direction,  as she sought the dogs. The dogs that BOBBY takes care of. THREE dogs. I started out not liking Danielle's eyebrows; I'm starting to dislike the whole person now. 

And don't leave a letter with a fancy font but zero mention of love, even in closing. 

Amber isn't really the one for Dave (who, for some reason, is always shown eating). They were "total strangers" during that forced "family traditions" conversation.  

Can't stand T and M.  Their discussions, their personalities, even the surroundings the show has them in are mind-numbingly dull.

Oh YES to everything.  Danielle is getting on my last nerve. Enough with those dogs already.  Bobby is the first priority. That is one mean and cold woman.  Give the GUY a bone.

Edited September 26, 2018 by Gem 10

[Jeanne222]

8 minutes ago, Crazy Bird Lady said:

I still think they've been keeping the heat turned off in that apartment so they can save money...

No I know Tristan cancelled but I thought that was their agreement that she would put him on her insurance and he would drop his.  They discussed that earlier. The problem is he didn't communicate he was dropping his on that date and she did not communicate to him  she had not put him on hers leaving him uninsured!  Surely over cereal he could have said "I'm going to cancel my insurance today per our agreement and surely she could have said wait a month because I haven't signed you up yet!

7 minutes ago, Gem 10 said:

Oh YES to everything.  Danielle is getting on my last nerve. Enough with those dogs already.  Bobby is the first priority. That is one mean and cold woman.  Give the GUY a bone.

Probably why Danielle is on married at first sight!

[Crazy Bird Lady]

1 minute ago, Jeanne222 said:

No I know Tristan cancelled but I thought that was their agreement that she would put him on her insurance and he would drop his.  They discussed that earlier. The problem is he didn't communicate he was dropping his on that date and she did not communicate to him  she had not put him on hers leaving him uninsured!  Surely over cereal he could have said "I'm going to cancel my insurance today per our agreement and surely she could have said wait a month because I haven't signed you up yet!

Yes.

I doubt if they actually had an "agreement" that Mia would put him on her insurance, though. Tristan is big on saying, "I told you to..." Meaning, Tristan tells Mia what he wants her to do, and expects her to do it --even if she has never actually agreed to do so. In this case, he obviously didn't explain why he wanted her to put him on her insurance, and Mia knew it would mean a lot of money deducted from her paycheck for a man she might not be married to very much longer, and she passively resisted following his "orders".

[psychoticstate]

Why was this an hour and a half?  Are the producers trying to burn through the remaining episodes as quickly as possible? 

First, and most importantly, Bobby is probably the best MAFS husband ever.  If Danielle doesn't want him, she can send him to me.  

Obviously we weren't there for the big Mia-Tristan blow up and don't know exactly what went down.  Both of them probably sugarcoated what happened - - according to Mia, Tristan threw her out; according to Tristan, Mia wouldn't answer him about going to Houston and chose to leave.   As much as I dislike Mia and find her to be a self-serving con artist, in the real, non-MAFS marital world, you don't make a big financial decision without consulting your spouse.   And you also don't tell your spouse "I'm moving/going here, you can go wherever you like" if you want your marriage to work.  Of that, I speak from experience.  One of the reasons my ex is now my ex is because he told me exactly that.    

I noticed that Tristan sat as far away from Mia on that "reconciliation" sofa as possible - - and for his video session with Pastor Cal, he wasn't wearing his wedding ring.  He was also making all kinds of faces, rolling his eyes, etc.  Mia is certainly no prize but Tristan was acting like a petulant toddler.  If you don't want to be married, then say so and move the fuck on.  

At this point in the "experiment," the "experts" should be telling Mia and Tristan that they made a mistake, based in part on Mia's deception.  I mean, a month in and all that's happened?  No way a couple is going to make it.  Why keep encouraging them to work it out?   Having my stuff tossed in the hallway would be an absolute deal breaker for me.  Amber and Dave and Danielle and Bobby weren't wrong with their opinions - - being kicked out/leaving takes it to a whole new level.  I don't think you can come back from that.  How can Mia not think that any time Tristan gets angry with her, he's not going to kick her out?  Or if Tristan's version is the correct one, how can he not think that Mia will leave?  Just quit already.

Amber and Dave seemed more connected this episode but crap, they only have 2 weeks left.   No idea what their decision will be on the big day, although I still think they won't make it.  Dave is too rigid, Amber is too needy with babies on the brain.  How on earth does she think she'll be living in a retirement community at 55, when she's 36 or 37 now, and she wants kids?  She does know that retirement communities don't allow people under retirement age to live there, right?   And if she has a kid or kids, it's not likely she'll be retiring by 55.  Kids are expensive.  Stick with cats, Amber.

Bobby and Henry were absolutely adorable.  Danielle really stepped wrong by greeting all the dogs first when she got home rather than Bobby.   Don't screw this up, Danielle.  Bobby's a good guy and he seems like a great husband.  MAFS actually did you a solid.   And Henry clearly adores his new daddy.

[OnTime]

11 hours ago, LilaFowler said:

Dave's garden was totally a producer-driven plot.

Isn't most of this show "a producer-driven plot"?

This season is just so boring.  Wonder if there will be a six month reunion show? There wasn't one last season.

[humbleopinion]

Unfiltered: UMBER, Bobby and JamieO

Tragically...too much at the spray tan place...especially sitting pale Bobby

Looking on set for the parrots usually perched on Amber's giant hoop earrings....

Bobby rocking the sparse 'stache...

Bobby reflected and looking back he admits to being too direct with Danielle about his feelings on the honeymoon and his truth was too harsh for Danielle to hear so soon in the accelerated process of getting to know your spouse. He didn't know the extent of her inability to process feelings as input and especially output from her....

Amber can't help but compare and be competitive with Bobby in their marriages...betcha she wishes she had brought the Field Day trophy to the show...and the head board she and Dave are notching every time they have sex...

Amber wants to know what she and Dave are doing wrong....Bobby is too well mannered to tell her that other than friction between the sheets Dave doesn't like her...

Amber wasn't being rhetorical...she wants to know what she can do...nothing honey, enjoy the sex while it lasts because those fleeting minutes are precious and Dave likes you during sexy time....it is the other 23 hours and 45 minutes in the day that are problematic....

Bobby tries in vain to explain that she is the complete opposite of her husband... Dave is reserved, rigid, likes structure and order and predictability, is set in his ways...she is none of those things.

 Dave tries to express his opinions in a way that is gentle on Amber's feelings and he doesn't want to hurt her but is failing because she is emotional  and Dave can't deal with so much unrestrained emotion.

Booby says he and Amber are the emotional ones in their respective marriages...that makes Amber feel better...Bobby is a prince.

Bobby admitting Danielle makes more money...and he was proud of it...very Millennial of him...his Mama and Papa are cringing at the revelation, tho.

Amber states she and Dave are not on the same page so haven't said "I love you" to each other...Those 2 aren't in the same set of encyclopedias...She's World Book and Dave is the haughty Encyclopædia Britannica.

Jamie's quip writer came up with a good one...The blindfolded rope course was Salsa 2 for Dave.

For Bobby and Danielle who are both afraid of heights...the tantric lady was the lesser of two evils...orgasm, orgasm, orgasmic

JamieO breaking her arm patting herself on the back for being a working mom while further emasculating Doug who has had all the testosterone drained out of him...drop by drop....

Why Bobby gesticulating weirdly as the cameras fade to commercials?...

Amber and Bobby are a bad mix...no chemistry....the cricket aren't chirping...they got bored and left...

Next week on Unfiltered..Dos amigos...Senor Roberto and Senor David!

Edited September 26, 2018 by humbleopinion

[CousinOliver]

I've got no sympathy for Mia.  It sounds like she led Tristan on, saying she would put him on her insurance, as any normal, married couple would do.  Goodness knows my late husband had me on his policy before the ink was dry on the marriage certificate to save us money.  But Mia, being shady, was misdirecting and giving wrong numbers rather than just admitting she didn't have a "shared financial burden" level of commitment.  

Then there was inconsistencies in the "kick out". Mia says, "he threw my stuff in the hall" and Tristan says, "Mia packed up her stuff." I figured one was lying, but probably not.  Likely, manipulator Mia packed her own stuff and Tristan just put it in the hall, all the while making it sound like Tristan gathered her stuff, packed it, and kicked her out.  

Mia.  Eternal victim.  

[humbleopinion]

The best example of unconditional love...Henry's heart emoji eyes staring deep into New Dad's loving eyes as he is getting a belly rub in their bed....

Danielle says that Henry doesn't sleep with her in bed.

Good burn, Henry.....

[LilaFowler]

30 minutes ago, CousinOliver said:

I've got no sympathy for Mia.  It sounds like she led Tristan on, saying she would put him on her insurance, as any normal, married couple would do.  Goodness knows my late husband had me on his policy before the ink was dry on the marriage certificate to save us money.  But Mia, being shady, was misdirecting and giving wrong numbers rather than just admitting she didn't have a "shared financial burden" level of commitment.  

Then there was inconsistencies in the "kick out". Mia says, "he threw my stuff in the hall" and Tristan says, "Mia packed up her stuff." I figured one was lying, but probably not.  Likely, manipulator Mia packed her own stuff and Tristan just put it in the hall, all the while making it sound like Tristan gathered her stuff, packed it, and kicked her out.  

Mia.  Eternal victim.  

IDK. Tristan packed up her stuff at her condo and moved it into his apartment in the first place. He has shown that he has no problem handling her stuff. I believe Mia in this case, that Tristan flipped out, packed her stuff and threw her out.

[Racj82]

11 hours ago, scruffy73 said:

I agree. Dave has already said he is looking past decision day. I think he doesn’t consider decision day the end date of his marriage. Amber is definitely in competition with Danielle and Bobby.

I'm not surprised by that but it's because I think a lot if people get competitive with what looks likes the perfect couple. We are just as amazing as they are! Of course, no marriage is perfect. I would not want to be married to any of these women. Danielle is cold and I hate pets. I find nothing attractive about Amber physically or personality wise and Mia of above all her faults is super boring. 

But, on the outside, Bobby and Danielle is what many couple aspire for. Everything is great! No arguing! So, there is clamoring to be better than them or want to see them knocked down a peg.

[humbleopinion]

All of Tristan and Mia was totally faux in this episode.

Mia controlling the optics of the move out...Real Tristan would have just dumped her fugly junk in the hallway, not pack it up and put it on a dolly...duh.

Cal comes to the rescue and the rainbows and unicorns are prancing with the I love you's flying back and forth in the love penthouse...ugh.

Tristan, the poster child for the Affordable Care Act.

Amber and Dave Facetime with her sister and mom...keep those 2 screen hogs at a distance....

Dave is candid when he says that 6 weeks of marriage seems a lot longer...like dog years?

Dave goes into Cliche Mode about Decision Day... not an end date...marriage is day by day...he views marriage as long term...does Dave sound like a baseball manager explaining a losing season?...

Amber's TH says she regrets focusing too much on the negative aspects of their marriage, her insecurities...EXACTLY what we have been shouting at our TVs for the past 3 months....

Bobby rocking a MOGO polo...MOGO is a theft tracking company for your boat, car based in Hurst, TX...

Bobby and is BIL have dinner while Danielle is OOT, what they ordered looked delicious..the corn dish...want that...

His BIL lobs softball questions and Bobby gets yet another opportunity to confess his love for his teflon wife who lets all his "I love you's" slide off with no reciprocation of the same...

A garden project for Amber to make her feel at home..how about being nicer Dave...kindness and all that shit...

Their on site producer is grasping at straws...bet the crew spent more time hauling the plants and mulch up to the roof than Dave and Amber spent saying their lines...

Dallas is too hot for those plants on a heat retaining roof...they will be crispy by May...

[humbleopinion]

Talking Christmas Traditions...Amber, the matching PJs and Dave the stuffed animal hunt...Friendsgiving, planning for Easter at his parents..that is when it went completely off the rails...Dave, no one believes you want anything to do with your parents..

Amber wants to be retired at 55 yrs old?...Not on Dave's money...

Once Dave gets a look at her credit card debt, he will not pay off her foolish purchases made on whims and poor judgement and he will insist she pay off HER OWN personal debt...but who are we kidding...they are dunzo....

Dave's one moment of spoken the truth...did you catch it?

He said "when YOU have kids" opps!...not... when WE have kids....Controlling Dave misspoke...on purpose...

Bobby in his Facetime fail with a cutout cardboard Big Head of Danielle...his saying I love you went unheard or heard with a non response with her flat affect self.

Favorite vignettes from the episode..

ANYTIME Bobby voices the doggies....go back and listen to him when the pups are greeting Danielle at her homecoming.

He tells Danielle she needs to go with her dream of fostering a litter before she "drops" her/their litter.

Bobby voicing their future grandchild...I don't want to go to Grandpa's house...Grandpa stinks...

Grandpas do stink....true that.... but not always in a bad way.....

[gonecrackers]

10 hours ago, Happyfatchick said:

I’ve  actually wondered if he’s afraid to split with Mia.  He knows she’s psycho.  He’s afraid he’ll come home and find his bunnies on the stove...

Oh what he's gotten himself into - especially if he went into this using her financially. Oh wells Tristan.

But she's all kinds of crazy & I just can't sympathize... actually with either of them at this point.

[Crazy Bird Lady]

1 hour ago, psychoticstate said:

Obviously we weren't there for the big Mia-Tristan blow up and don't know exactly what went down.  Both of them probably sugarcoated what happened - - according to Mia, Tristan threw her out; according to Tristan, Mia wouldn't answer him about going to Houston and chose to leave.

[Crazy Bird Lady:  Thus the confusion over what they fought about. But unless MAFS used their editing tricks to make Tristan look like a total ass, he was one. *First* came the argument between Tristan and Mia about health insurance and Mia not automatically paying for it when "told" to do so. *Then* Tristan threw Mia out. And *afterward,* under scrutiny by the "experts," Tristan came up with that BS about the argument being based on going to Houston (and Mia saying she wasn't feeling 'comfortable' with it).]  

 

As much as I dislike Mia and find her to be a self-serving con artist, in the real, non-MAFS marital world, you don't make a big financial decision without consulting your spouse. And you also don't tell your spouse "I'm moving/going here, you can go wherever you like" if you want your marriage to work.  Of that, I speak from experience.  One of the reasons my ex is now my ex is because he told me exactly that.  

[Crazy Bird Lady: that was explained perfectly.]  

 

I noticed that Tristan sat as far away from Mia on that "reconciliation" sofa as possible - - and for his video session with Pastor Cal, he wasn't wearing his wedding ring.  He was also making all kinds of faces, rolling his eyes, etc.  Mia is certainly no prize but Tristan was acting like a petulant toddler.  If you don't want to be married, then say so and move the fuck on.  

[Crazy Bird Lady: THAT!!]

 

At this point in the "experiment," the "experts" should be telling Mia and Tristan that they made a mistake, based in part on Mia's deception.  I mean, a month in and all that's happened?  No way a couple is going to make it.  Why keep encouraging them to work it out?   Having my stuff tossed in the hallway would be an absolute deal breaker for me.  Amber and Dave and Danielle and Bobby weren't wrong with their opinions - - being kicked out/leaving takes it to a whole new level.  I don't think you can come back from that.  How can Mia not think that any time Tristan gets angry with her, he's not going to kick her out?  Or if Tristan's version is the correct one, how can he not think that Mia will leave?  Just quit already.

[Crazy Bird Lady: They obviously both wanted to call it quits. But the "experts", as usual, swooped in and pressured them to continue.] 

[Neurochick]

11 hours ago, shouldbedancing said:

I feel like every black couple on this show crashes and burns so hard.

I agree.  I don't know why that is.  Maybe they need a black FEMALE expert instead of Pastor Cal.

I think maybe Tristan didn't want to ask for the divorce, maybe he's a person who feels that "Divorce is against God" or something like that.  So he positions it so Mia's the one who asks for a divorce, and shit, she's a criminal so, who's going to believe her?

 

Maybe this is why?

 

Edited September 26, 2018 by Neurochick

[ECM1231]

How many more episodes? Did I miss a good one? I was so excited that This Is Us was back on that I forgot all about MAFS. I'm fickle like that. Will need to record from now on.

[Crazy Bird Lady]

1 hour ago, humbleopinion said:

Talking Christmas Traditions...Amber, the matching PJs and Dave the stuffed animal hunt...Friendsgiving, planning for Easter at his parents..that is when it went completely off the rails...Dave, no one believes you want anything to do with your parents..

Amber wants to be retired at 55 yrs old?...Not on Dave's money...

[Crazy Bird Lady: Amber has her own money. And I wouldn't be surprised if she makes more than Dave does.]

 

Dave's moment of spoken truth...did you catch it?

He said "when YOU have kids" opps!...not... when WE have kids....Controlling Dave misspoke...on purpose...

[Crazy Bird Lady:  Yeah, he's dumping her. Not a surprise to most of us, not even Amber --even though she keeps clinging to her hopeless hope of a future with Dave.]

 

Amber wasn't being rhetorical...she wants to know what she can do...nothing honey, enjoy the sex while it lasts because those fleeting minutes are precious and Dave likes you during sexy time....it is the other 23 hours and 45 minutes in the day that are problematic....

[Crazy Bird Lady:  You said it.]

Edited September 26, 2018 by Crazy Bird Lady

[Lusterleaf]

I don't understand why Tristan and Mia are dragging this out. Is it really worth the 5k per month? They should have been over right after Mia was detained at the airport.

I hope by decision day, Danielle will finally open up to Bobby about how she feels about him.

Amber and Dave seemed to be doing better this last episode but I don't see them lasting long-term. I laughed when Amber said she wanted to retire at 55.

[NoWhammies]

And the gaslighting of Tristan continues. I mean, he's immature and doesn't appear to fight fair, but for everybody to pretend they have no idea why anger could be bubbling under the surface is just insane. Like the insurance thing; they clearly discussed it because she gave him some kind of number and he said it was the wrong one. So at some point there was a conversation that he was going to be on her insurance (I'd guess) and she then didn't follow through but now is upset because he canceled his, even though at some point there was clearly discussion about that happening if she gave him a number. Seriously experts. Just let them be apart because they are a disaster together and he will never get over the initial betrayal regardless of how much everyone gaslights him into believing he should.

[Crazy Bird Lady]

2 minutes ago, NoWhammies said:

And the gaslighting of Tristan continues. I mean, he's immature and doesn't appear to fight fair, but for everybody to pretend they have no idea why anger could be bubbling under the surface is just insane. Like the insurance thing; they clearly discussed it because she gave him some kind of number and he said it was the wrong one. So at some point there was a conversation that he was going to be on her insurance (I'd guess) and she then didn't follow through but now is upset because he canceled his, even though at some point there was clearly discussion about that happening if she gave him a number. Seriously experts. Just let them be apart because they are a disaster together and he will never get over the initial betrayal regardless of how much everyone gaslights him into believing he should.

I've noted that, even on camera, when Tristan and Mia "discuss" something it's usually Tristan *telling* Mia what he wants her to do, as if she were his employee instead of his wife. Mia actually said to him, during that "recent" fight, that Tristan always talks over her. And it's true -- he does.

I used to think of Tristan as a love-struck "victim" of the way MAFS "experts" pair their couples. I don't think that anymore. 

[NoWhammies]

14 minutes ago, Crazy Bird Lady said:

I've noted that, even on camera, when Tristan and Mia "discuss" something it's usually Tristan *telling* Mia what he wants her to do, as if she were his employee instead of his wife. Mia actually said to him, during that "recent" fight, that Tristan always talks over her. And it's true -- he does.

I used to think of Tristan as a love-struck "victim" of the way MAFS "experts" pair their couples. I don't think that anymore. 

Oh heck yes. Tristan has his own set of problems that would've doomed the relationship if Mia hadn't done it so neatly from the start. He seems very authoritarian in relationships - controlling. However, I can't help but wonder if that is his own natural state in relationships or if it's all his emotional response and attempt to regain control of his life because of the initial big lie and the gaslighting.

I agree with what others have noted - Mia always plays victim and doesn't own her role in anything. But I get that, too. She's in damage control mode because I can't imagine her on-camera experience matches up with what she thought it would be when she signed up for this shit. I'd guess before the show she had images of the public loving her as the beautiful bride, Godly woman, sweet and loving, etc. There is no way she could ever have suspected that within an episode she'd be arrested and outed as a liar on national television. I doubt the possibility would even have crossed her mind. I imagine she is doing everything she can to try and shore up her image since this is all playing out very publicly. She must feel horrified about how the reality didn't line up with her fantasies about being on the teevee. 

I believe both of them are reacting to the total clusterfuck this has become for them, and I sincerely doubt either is living their best life at the moment. If I was in either of their shoes, I'd just be holding on by my fingertips for it all to end so I could put a horrible, embarrassing nightmare behind me and get back to real life. I doubt either of them realizes that 15 minutes of fame is fleeting, and within a few months nobody will even remember their names. A year down the line, they'll just be another footnote. But when you're in it and it's all playing out very publicly, it's got to feel like a living nightmare. 

So yeah - I'm an over-empathizer. Can you tell?

[islandgal140]

Pastor Calvin: I have confidence that this marriage could work. 

Note to self: Never ask Dr. Calvin for advice on anything 

Tristan ain't shit! If a man will put you out as a newlywed he’ll put you out with an infant and a fresh episiotomy with $15 to your name.  

Mia, her Keurig, and her Blue Cross Blue Shield health insurance card should have stayed gone.  At the end of the episode, Mia looks so depressed to be back on Tristan's nasty little bed.

14 hours ago, gonecrackers said:

The 'experts' feel there's nothing these two crazy kids can't work through together. (huge eye roll)

I am convinced that the "experts" get some kind of bonus if the couples last until D day. 

13 hours ago, Neurochick said:

If Mia looked like Shawnice or Shelia, Tristan would have sent her packing when the stalking allegations came out.

[gonecrackers]

6 minutes ago, islandgal140 said:

14 hours ago, gonecrackers said:

The 'experts' feel there's nothing these two crazy kids can't work through together. (huge eye roll)

I am convinced that the "experts" get some kind of bonus if the couples last until D day. 

Probably the couples as well; often it gets them to the one year anniversary divorce announcement. That's happened way too many times now to be coincidental.

[Starlight925]

Groucho Marx....I mean Danielle.....needs to step away from the eyebrow pencil.  

[Empress1]

2 hours ago, CousinOliver said:

I've got no sympathy for Mia.  It sounds like she led Tristan on, saying she would put him on her insurance, as any normal, married couple would do.  Goodness knows my late husband had me on his policy before the ink was dry on the marriage certificate to save us money.  But Mia, being shady, was misdirecting and giving wrong numbers rather than just admitting she didn't have a "shared financial burden" level of commitment.  

Then there was inconsistencies in the "kick out". Mia says, "he threw my stuff in the hall" and Tristan says, "Mia packed up her stuff." I figured one was lying, but probably not.  Likely, manipulator Mia packed her own stuff and Tristan just put it in the hall, all the while making it sound like Tristan gathered her stuff, packed it, and kicked her out.  

Mia.  Eternal victim.  

Yeah, but Tristan shouldn't have cancelled his until he had confirmation that he was on hers. I don't think it should even be a consideration (meaning I don't think she should put him on hers at this stage in the game - they're not a normal married couple), but if that's what they were going to do, he should have had a coverage date in hand before he cancelled his - especially because he knew she was flaking out about doing it. I went from an ACA plan to an employee plan and when I called to remove my ACA plan, they specifically asked me on what date my new coverage took over so that there would be no gap.

They're such a fucking mess. It's really a disaster and I don't understand why they don't just call it. This is a Heather/Derek situation where they should have called it on day 3.

I cracked up when Amber didn't realize that odds were good that she'd have high schoolers at 55 and she wouldn't be retiring. I'm with Dave; I don't think 55 is old. I have an acquaintance I know from the gym who ran her first marathon at 55.

Amber couldn't tell that Bobby's hair was much longer than Dave's in that "guess your husband" game?

Overwhelmingly, Danielle stresses how much she loves what Bobby does for her. I don't think she's made any reference to anything about Bobby's personality. She's said that in the past, she's been the one taking care of things so it's probably refreshing to lay down that burden, but she's going to need to show Bobby that she values him for more than coffee and meals.

[tumamita]

Reading some comments, I’m surprised so many people don’t think what Tristan did was wrong. That was wrong on many, many levels. This reminds me of my ex who told me for months to get out and when I finally did, he was like what why did you leave? Umm are you crazy - you don’t just say those things in a fight. Mia better not ever go back and Tristan needs to grow up and learn how to connunicate and disagree healthy. 

Bobby looked so disappointed when Danielle came home and was 3rd in line to be acknowledged. Poor boy lol

[Crazy Bird Lady]

1 hour ago, NoWhammies said:

So yeah - I'm an over-empathizer. Can you tell?

lol me too. I guess the only difference is, I think Tristan has tipped the scales against himself with his latest BS, and is now acting an even bigger jerk than Mia did with her initial freak-out lies.

Edited September 26, 2018 by Crazy Bird Lady