S05.E10: Week 6: Season Finale

[CindyBee]

The producers must have been pissed to loose Joe/Kendall and Kevin/Astrid before the rings got passed around

[Stan39]

Astrid and Joe should date. Ideally they’d each meet someone outside this inbred cesspool, but if they’re going to date in Bach Nation then latch on to the other sane, reasonable person. 

[JenE4]

That was so crazy! Being at “80%” is pretty damn good for having known someone for less than 2 weeks. Why not just walk off into the sunset and keep dating if you feel too pressured to get engaged if you stay one more night?

[adhoc]

Astrid didn't sob dramatically. She just quietly cried real tears. Please take note, Kendall.

[Mu Shu]

Because then he couldn’t Mesnick and show us his hideous big toe.

Kendall Tamra Judge cried.  Made an ugly face and tried to squeeze out tears and failed.

Edited September 11, 2018 by Mu Shu

[saber5055]

1 minute ago, JenE4 said:

Why not just walk off into the sunset and keep dating if you feel too pressured to get engaged if you stay one more night?

I know. What's up with that? Do these guys sign contracts that if they don't get engaged on the show they can't date IRL?

Ha ha ha, Jordan is steaming his shirt wrinkles.

[DEL901]

Lol at Kamil.  He did not want to go to the fantasy suite and Annaliese is practically picking out baby names.

[Armchair Critic]

I blame Jade and Tanner for all this *need* to get engaged B.S.

[saber5055]

Krystal just said marriage isn't something she ever thought she would do. And that's why she's on The Bachelor and BIP. Right.

[tennisgurl]

Damn it Kevin and Astrid, you made me care! 

Unlike these other couples, who I dont care about! At all!

[Armchair Critic]

I would be leery of that mystery meat backfiring on me before I had sex. LOL

Edited September 11, 2018 by Armchair Critic

[Stan39]

Lol at Chris’ “No doubts” and “Moving the relationship forward”. Surprised he didn’t just end with, “So, we’re gonna have sex now, right? Do you wanna have sex? I think we should have sex. Can you be more naked now?”

[Mu Shu]

Just now, Armchair Critic said:

I would be leery of that mystery meat

He should be leery of what she had in mind with his mystery meat.  

[CindyBee]

2 minutes ago, saber5055 said:

Krystal just said marriage isn't something she ever thought she would do. And that's why she's on The Bachelor and BIP. Right.

She really needs better cue cards.   And I still don't know what she sees in Chris

[tennisgurl]

"Theres more to life than being really, really, really, ridiculously good looking." 

[saber5055]

Ha ha to the close up of the kielbasa sausage as Kamil and Annaliese head to bed. I guess there are no trains on the Mexican beach.

[Armchair Critic]

I don't know if I would want to be with a guy that is prettier than me. Jordan is adorable but I still think he is Toy Story Ken asexual.

[tennisgurl]

I officially need an adult.

[TiredMe]

Krystal and Chris bondage session is squicking me out

[Mu Shu]

3 minutes ago, CindyBee said:

She really needs better cue cards.   And I still don't know what she sees in Chris

He does have beautiful eyes.

[saber5055]

When Jordan said he had one thing to tell Jenna, I thought for sure it was going to be that he's gay. That would have been awesome. Although not as awesome as lightning striking me for thinking that.

OMG, I just saw TIA on the preview for tomorrow. Please, lightning strike me now.

[dizzyd]

Ok, bring on tomorrow. I can't wait ? 

Joe better not accept Kendall's lame apology and he better not give her a 2nd chance.

Edited September 11, 2018 by dizzyd

[Stan39]

If Kamil doesn’t propose, does Annaliese wander off and ask Chris Harrison to propose to her? The boom operator? The trumpeter? I feel like she’s determined to get a ring one way or another. 

[tennisgurl]

Half the cast is looking at Chris and Krystal and their stuffed dogs like "cute!" and the other half is looking like "should we check those two for heat stroke?"

[JenE4]

Just when we were all lamenting the lack of night vision camera, we get a full spotlight closeup montage of makeouts replete with feathers and keilbasa and so forth. It’s too much! Nobody needs to see ALL THAT. Just give us some dark, grainy footage that we need to squint and try to guess what’s happening—like with the Nicki/Cardi rumble.

[CindyBee]

2 minutes ago, dizzyd said:

Ok, bring on tomorrow. I can't wait ? 

Yeah usually the previews are duds but tomorrow night actually looks great.   See everyone then!

[tennisgurl]

Just now, Stan39 said:

If Kamil doesn’t propose, does Annaliese wander off and ask Chris Harrison to propose to her? The boom operator? The trumpeter? I feel like she’s determined to get a ring one way or another. 

Annalise will reveal her true form as the worlds least successful succubus and swim back into the darkest depths of the ocean from which she came. 

[nutty1]

The only thing this season did was to make me actually like Jordan! Who would have thunk?!

[Mu Shu]

1 minute ago, nutty1 said:

The only thing this season did was to make me actually like Jordan! Who would have thunk?!

I liked the camaraderie between Jordan , Joe, and Chris.

[jette]

Metoo, nutty1! When did Jordan become so good looking? Like, ridiculously good looking? Gah

[saber5055]

11 minutes ago, tennisgurl said:

I officially need an adult.

You are in the wrong thread. ;-))

[Ms Blue Jay]

Astrid's body is an 11/10 I can't stop staring, it's ridiculous.  Jeez.  She's so mature and cool too.

Kendall has been acting this entire time, pretending to be into Joe, to stay on the show.  She was never interested in Joe.  She was never interested in Arie.  She maybe was interested in Leo.  She's all about Instagram fame, this I'm very sure of.  She gaslighted Joe this entire episode. She's an asshole.

I agree, something about Jenna makes her look so old.  Something about the work she's had done.  I can't believe those teeth are real?  They look very Chiclet-y.

Krystal, why and how and why and how and why.  I hope she's happy.

Diggy with the trumpets was a wonderful running gag.

Edited September 11, 2018 by Ms Blue Jay

[tennisgurl]

Will Chris make it through the season without telling a woman he is interested in to shut up? Will Kendall realize that she made a horrible, horrible mistake in breaking the heart of Americas favorite grocer? Will Annalise eat Kamils soul? Tune in tomorrow and find out!

[Kiss my mutt]

I hope Joe doesn’t take Kendall back.  As soon as he did, she’d break it off.  She is the flakiest person and Joe can do so much better. I think he overinvested his effort in her even though she gave off enough red flags he should have backed off.

Kevin? Really? Wtf, man?

[Stan39]

8 minutes ago, nutty1 said:

The only thing this season did was to make me actually like Jordan! Who would have thunk?!

And Krystal!?!?

On top of that, if Krystal is only staying with Chris for more TV time I won’t hold it against her. It would actually be more understandable than that she actually has feelings for him. 

Edited September 11, 2018 by Stan39

[Adeejay]

1 hour ago, leighdear said:

I think Robby is smokin' hot.  Sure, he's a sleazy player that practically has WRONG REASONS tattooed on his forehead, but I like his looks. 

I liked Josh Murray's looks, I thought Chris Soules was so cute and I adored Arie.  They all suck for various reasons, but I love those faces!  *LOL*

Just because "they all suck for various reasons" doesn't negate the fact that they are good looking men.    

If someone had told me that Jordan would be half of a couple left standing, I would have thought they were crazy.  

[Ms Blue Jay]

Chris: I want to like, I was, like, my heart, like, I was like?  Fantasy, like, suite, like?

Krystal:  Mmmm hmmm yeahhhhhhhhh

[dbell1]

Kendall sucks. Kevin needed his therapist on call. Annalise needs to get off my screen. Sorry Joe, still love you. Astrid for the Bachelorette! Crystal can do so much better. Jordan and Jenna for the win.

[jumper sage]

20 minutes ago, Armchair Critic said:

I don't know if I would want to be with a guy that is prettier than me. Jordan is adorable but I still think he is Toy Story Ken asexual.

Just to put Ken to bed forever:  Ken, of Barbie and Ken, is her gay friend.  Barbie dated GI Joe.  Ken had nothing and just mooched off her dream house, van and other accessories.  GI Joe had a government job with benefits and a pension and the coolest choppers and other vehicles.  I should know, Barbie lived in my basement Barbie village and GI Joe lived upstairs in my brother's play area and would copter down for dates.  Ken usually watched Midge or whoever and made snacks.

@JenE4 - You had me at Nicki/Cardi rumble!

[Stan39]

42 minutes ago, saber5055 said:

I think it's the stipulation that you have to get engaged the morning after that is bringing the tears. It'd do the FS, and sneak out pre-dawn to the airport before anyone saw me.

Kevin needs to be the Bach U.S. version.

I guarantee you those three men aren’t all planning to propose and won’t propose. (Cough, Kamil, cough, cough.) We’ve never had a season in which everyone who went to fantasy suites ending up proposing. Kevin could have used that time just to talk and get to know Astrid better if he had doubts (Ben said the “sex” part of the FS is overblown and really it’s a great chance to spend time with somebody alone without cameras and really get to know each other. Rather than the stupid platitudes and cliches they say for TV.)

[UGAmp]

Is it wrong that I CANNOT WAIT to watch Annalise get rejected? I felt bad for her on Arie’s season and how she was the producers’ constant punching bag for jokes. It was even the case for the first half of this season. Then she latched on to Kamil (because she had no other options) and she became super cocky and the all-knowing narrator and holier-than-thou. Wonder how she feels watching this in real time and seeing he’s pretending to be interested to her face but to the camera he is showing some serious hesitation and saying they’re just friends. Maybe I’m wrong and they’ll end up together but I really doubt it. 

The Astrid/Kevin break up was tough. They seemed so normal (for this franchise). But Kevin confuses me with his James Marsden looks at time and his caveman looks at others. 

Joe, Kendall does not deserve you. You’re precious and any girl will be lucky to have you. Please DO NOT date anyone from Bachelor Nation. You’re too good for this.

[saber5055]

4 minutes ago, jumper sage said:

Just to put Ken to bed forever:  Ken, of Barbie and Ken, is her gay friend.  Barbie dated GI Joe.  Ken had nothing and just mooched off her dream house, van and other accessories.  GI Joe had a government job with benefits and a pension and the coolest choppers and other vehicles.  I should know, Barbie lived in my basement Barbie village and GI Joe lived upstairs in my brother's play area and would copter down for dates.  Ken usually watched Midge or whoever and made snacks.

I LOVE this post. Thanks for much for the visuals. GI Joe for the win!

[jumper sage]

I forgot to say that the Lions had their first game today and it took 4.5 hours.  Missed the show but you all caught me up.  Missed both shows Lions and BIP.

Oh the Lions lost 48 - 17, of course they did.

[Stan39]

21 minutes ago, dbell1 said:

Kendall sucks. Kevin needed his therapist on call. Annalise needs to get off my screen. Sorry Joe, still love you. Astrid for the Bachelorette! Crystal can do so much better. Jordan and Jenna for the win.

I’ll be interested to see how they spin this so that Kendall is a victim. Not saying they’ll make Joe the bad guy, it’s just that this show has a track record for painting women as saints no matter what they do or say. 

Kendall kept up the charade that Joe didn’t tell her how he felt. Maybe she’ll stick to that bs excuse and all the women will pile on that men need to do more to prove their love for a woman? It can’t just be that Kendall is a flaky idiot who would have happily dumped Joe for an asshole, only to then come back to Joe to stay on TV and be with a guy who would treat her well even though she probably knew she wasn’t into him. 

Edited September 11, 2018 by Stan39

[jumper sage]

8 minutes ago, saber5055 said:

I LOVE this post. Thanks for much for the visuals. GI Joe for the win!

I remember seeing this commercial and calling my brother.

When I was a young adult I had a little boy cousin who went to all us older girl cousins and asked if he could have any of our Barbie stuff.  We all gave him houses, dolls, cars etc.  His dad was trying not to freak out.  Other dads told him to sit back and watch and not to say anything damaging.  At the next gathering the dad told the other dads that there was a parade of little girls going into his son's room and once his son winked at him.  Smart boy!

Edited September 11, 2018 by jumper sage

[chocolatine]

I don't think I'll ever be able to unsee The Goose being blindfolded and stroked with a feather. TMI!

Why couldn't Kevin and Astrid do the same thing as John and Olivia - agree to keep dating IRL without the pressure of the FS and on-camera proposal? It feels like TPTB purposefully manipulated Kevin into breaking up with Astrid to get some dramatic footage. He's a good guy but not very bright or self-assured, so he was an easy target.

I'll readily admit that I never thought Joe was a big catch, but he got me with his smackdown of Kendall. Now we know that he *can* express himself when he wants to.

I predict that Kamil went into the witness protection program as soon as he finished filming the show.

Krystal is gorgeous, but even she can't pull off the ruffled yellow pants and blue cropped tube top combo she chose for the rose ceremony. That was a tragic ensemble.

Edited September 11, 2018 by chocolatine

[comosedice]

3 hours ago, CindyBee said:

I don't understand Joe's infatuation with Kendall at all.   

I don't think we've seen everything that happened between these two. When did they discuss her commitment phobia or how suffocating her ex-boyfriends were? The producers chose to show us none of their serious conversations until the end. 

[Stan39]

11 minutes ago, comosedice said:

I don't think we've seen everything that happened between these two. When did they discuss her commitment phobia or how suffocating her ex-boyfriends were? The producers chose to show us none of their serious conversations until the end. 

Joe also seems like a decent person, and decent people tend to end up carrying the load in shitty relationships with selfish people just because they can. 60-40 guy? Kendall’s a 90-10 girl. Joe is normal enough to handle that for quite awhile, hoping Kendall will turn a corner eventually. The thing is though, Joe’s not a pushover. Eventually if Kendall takes too much without giving back he’ll give up and move on. That’s what happened. 

[coconutcookie]

2 hours ago, CindyBee said:

I don't understand Joe's infatuation with Kendall at all.   

Two or three episodes ago Joe commented about the attractiveness of one of the new arrivals and  rather enthusiastically remarked on her big boobs. That surprised me because that's not Kendall. Even so, he always seemed more into her than she was into him.

[Madding crowd]

This episode settled the question for me on whether Joe was dim or just camera shy. I think Joe is just as smart or smarter than other guys on the show and gorgeous to boot.

Does Venmo John think he has a chance to be The Bachelor? He seems very fake in his dealing with people.