S05.E11: After Paradise

[chocolatine]

Please, not another suicide show ad!

[Ms Blue Jay]

NOOOOO

NOOOOOO

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

(to be clear, I am really upset about Joe and Kendall.  I know it's psychotic of me, but I also don't care.)

Ron Livingston ALSO deserves better.  Office Space 2, anyone?  Or at the very least, a spinoff about Berger?  

Edited September 12, 2018 by Ms Blue Jay

[One4Sorrow2TooBad]

I'm so sick of seeing that stupid commercial for a million little things, it makes me not want to watch it.

[kazza]

Oh whew, so glad his eyes are hazel and they're magnificent. Because we didn't hear it in the first 9000 times we'd seen the commercial over the season. 

[JenE4]

After the whole fake Tia/Colton love triangle to force a storyline over three different shows, I’m now questioning the sincerity of Joe and Kendall. For someone so “camera shy” Joe sure likes being on TV. Who’s running the store while he’s on three shows straight?!?

[nutty1]

Love Joe!!!!! Still hard to believe he left on the first night of Becca’s season. 

[ECM1231]

Super pissed that Joe took Kendall back after she flaked out on him on BIP's last night. ? He is too good for her.

Next up....Kamil's public humiliation of Annaliese. ?

[CindyBee]

Yep, Kamil is still blinking "help me".   

[Superpole2000]

I admit to not watching this season, and I haven't kept up with DWTS lately, but is some also-ran Bachelor dude really a "star", even under the loosest definition of the word? Were the cue card holder from Jimmy Kimmel and the gaffer from Good Morning America not available?

[One4Sorrow2TooBad]

I've been in relationships before where you break up but then give it another go.  Time will tell how Joe and Kendall will do in real life. Forgiveness can be a wonderful thing, I can only wish them the best. 

[CindyBee]

If Kamil wasn't so hot, he'd never date again after this

[Ohwell]

I hope they're not prepping Annaliese for the next Bachelorette.

[TiredMe]

Kamil doesn’t seem very bright. 

[ECM1231]

Not an Annalise fan but a dick move by Kamil.

[Armchair Critic]

"I'm. sorry. you. feel. that. way." My name is Kamil and I am a robot.

Kamil you fool, you should have dropped her way back in Paradise.

[Superpole2000]

1 minute ago, CindyBee said:

If Kamil wasn't so hot, he'd never date again after this

Almost all of those women booing him off the stage would say yes to him asking them out on a date. It's hilarious.

[Stan39]

Poor Kamil. He thought he was just getting a fun free summer vacation. Little did he know the producers would force him into this fake relationship/break up with a psycho. He looked miserable the entire time on BIP and probably realized early what a dick he’d look like after this. 

[Mu Shu]

Joe is a shitty actor.  This whole thing was set up to introduce him on DWTS.  He deserves his dead animal stuffing “girlfriend “. Fucking famewhores .  The only honest one is Jordan.

Now I see Anneliese’s dents.  I thought she was coming back to shank Kamil.

[jette]

Geez Leo - all the men stand after Chris asks the group to "take care of your girl" yet your sorry self stays seated. Smh

Edited September 12, 2018 by jette
Spelling

[UGAmp]

Yikes. I wanted Annalise to get her comeuppance but that was AWFUL. I get you have to be a special kinda person to go on not just a reality show but a dating reality show but how stupid is Kamil?! What producer was able to convince him to break up with the girl in front of a studio audience? How could he have thought that could have gone even slightly okay? Even Arie is probably thinking the dude took it a step too far. 

And Grocery Store Joe... I’m not mad. I’m just disappointed. 

Edited September 12, 2018 by UGAmp

[pinky33]

I am no Annelise fan...But, why on earth would anyone be dick enough to humiliate someone on tv in front of the world like that? He could have told her before the show. Did he think appearing on tv to break up with her would help his reputation/career? Has he not ever heard of that other dick named "Arie"??

[JenE4]

Kamil tells us he met Annaliese in Paradise. You don’t say?? Ooh. He says she’s ready to marry someone. He should have pointed out after watching it back that she would have married ANYONE. “Slowly part ways”?!? Let’s make this a looong, painful break up. I love this technique of a close up of her crying, listening to Kamil in real time talking on stage in the background. Ooh, she’s been giving 90/10. If she was going to break up with HIM, then why doesn’t she acknowledge they’re not right for each other? And why would she come out there saying an engagement is impending? Wasn’t the spoiler that they got engaged on this show, oops, I guess not. Unless he out-Gooses Chris with his “I’m not leaving here with you hand in hand” segue into a proposal. Kamil’s all “Things haven’t been right between us...” [tears, drama, heartache] “They’ve been amazing!!!”

[Armchair Critic]

Kamil just said to Analiese "I don't want to look like a douchebag again on tv" hahahahaaaaaaa

[dizzyd]

I don't think Kamil's going to have a problem. Shu is going to jump right on that ? 

I was so excited about this episode and now am feeling so let down all around.

And it doesn't help my mood to have to watch that stupid fucking ad of a million little things a million fucking times ?

Edited September 12, 2018 by dizzyd

[Ohwell]

6 minutes ago, UGAmp said:

And Grocery Store Joe... I’m not mad. I’m just disappointed. 

Same here.  On the one hand I hope it works out for them, but on the other hand I'm disappointed.  Oh well, it's their lives. 

[Stan39]

2 minutes ago, UGAmp said:

Yikes. I wanted Annalise to get her comeuppance but that was AWFUL. I get you have to be a special kinda person to go on not just a reality show but a dating reality show but how stupid is Kamil?! What producer was able to convince him to break up with the girl in front of a studio audience? How could he have thought that could have gone even slightly okay? Even Arie is probably thinking the dude took it a step too far. 

And Grocery Store Joe... I’m not mad. I’m just disappointed. 

Let’s not go overboard. Arie probably thought it was funny. Or he got distracted by a tennis ball and didn’t even see it. Or he was busy texting other girls just in case things with Lauren don’t work out. 

[b2H]

I really wish Jenna would stay away from the harsh red lipstick.  It is just too sharp on her.

[Armchair Critic]

LMAO they cut to a shot of Benoit when they brought out Jenna. Bitter much Benoit? 

[b2H]

3 minutes ago, Armchair Critic said:

Kamil just said to Analiese "I don't want to look like a douchebag again on tv" hahahahaaaaaaa

Too late.

[Armchair Critic]

Jordan in the tub, I would...

[hyacinth]

Better use of my time than watching Bachelor in Paradise reunion:    

Banzai parachute jumping:   throw parachute out of airplane, jump out after it.   

[tennisgurl]

Annalise is a nutball of the highest order, but that was cold. I mean...wow. For a guy constantly trying to not look like an asshole on tv, Kamil is really good at looking like an asshole on TV!

[Stan39]

Jenna is a pretty good actress. 

[nlkm9]

11 minutes ago, Ohwell said:

I hope they're not prepping Annaliese for the next Bachelorette.

I wish they had shown Annalissa madly giddy in love with Jordan and then Kenny , i feel terrible about the break up but seriously — the girl will date and fall in love with anyone - she reminds me of Heather from Aaron’s season- just wants the picket fence < insert man here >.  But horrible of him to do that on tv. Ugh.

[Mu Shu]

Why is that guy sitting with his mouth hanging open looking like John Denver?

[tennisgurl]

Its weird, I actually thought A Million Little Pieces looked pretty good when I saw the early previews. Now? I want it cut into a million little pieces ASAP. 

[DEL901]

Hated how Kamil broke up with her, but remember, he was the 60/40 guy.   But she was crazy to think a guy had to stay with her because of everything she did for him like send his mother flowers and book his airline ticket.

 

eta so, anyone got odds on Annaliese being back in Paradise next year?

Edited September 12, 2018 by DEL901

[Armchair Critic]

7 minutes ago, hyacinth said:

Better use of my time than watching Bachelor in Paradise reunion

I didn't get home until after 9, but being a glutton for punishment I will still watch what I missed later. 

[JenE4]

Jenna and Jordan are getting the Paradise wedding (if they make it a year). Just be sure to file the paperwork unlike Marcus and Lacy—the Paradise “marriage” everyone just pretends never happened.

[Ms Blue Jay]

Krystal's so gorgeous.  I still hate Chris.  That won't change.  Whatever, I just hope she's happy I guess.

[CindyBee]

Why is Chris fake crying!?!

[saber5055]

WTH with Krystal's dress.

[JenE4]

Aw, the Goose is winning me over with his tears. Wow, Krystal apparently set him straight with his stupid Goose attitude. A crystal goose—Krystal Goose, get it?? 

[dizzyd]

Yuki lost most of her claws. 

[Mu Shu]

I think this is my last one.  Just a bunch of poorly scripted, shitty failed actors.

That includes Joe.  

I don’t watch this shit to launch Instagram careers or DTWS.  

Fuck it all. 

[TiredMe]

Pretty hilarious that any words spoken by Leo were not given airtime. Not one word. Lol

and nice try by Chris H to exit Kamil quickly as if he was trying to spare Annaliese when we all know he knew about the humiliation she was about to suffer. Please.

Edited September 12, 2018 by TiredMe

[kazza]

50 minutes ago, Ms Blue Jay said:

Ron Livingston ALSO deserves better.  Office Space 2, anyone?  Or at the very least, a spinoff about Berger?  

LOL. I want someone to show up on that show, with a coffee mug in hand, and note "yeah, I'm going need you guys to be less annoying"

Or that to be writing on a post-it note. 
Or wearing flare. 

[tennisgurl]

You know, its just hitting me now that we are going to have a whole season of Colton. Colton, the human personification of Wonder-bread, is going to be our star, in every webisode, of the entire. Women are going to be throwing themselves at him. I just dont know if I can handle that level of boredom. 

[saber5055]

14 minutes ago, LennieBriscoe said:

IMO, Jenna wears that shade of red lipstick to channel, in her mind, Marilyn Monroe. If Reality Steve is right, she's a better actress than MM.

She even looks like she's had "work" done to make her look even more like Monroe. Sort of creepy.

BTW, it's spelled Gustavsson in Swedish, not "Goose-stafon."

I've forgotten why I don't like Chris. I also didn't recognize Benoit. Here today, gone tonight I guess works for these people.

LOL at CH being shocked that Kendall went to Chicago since there was a film crew in place waiting for her "arrival." Count me as another disappointed one that Joe "took her back." There has to be more to the DWTS hookup than CH arranging for Joe to spend time in LA. So bogus.

[chocolatine]

Kamil was a jerk for breaking up with Annaliese on camera, but she's a liar who tried to pretend they were "in a good place" before he blew it up. Obviously they weren't "in a good place" if she felt she'd been doing 90% of the work and tried to break up with him before.

I still like Joe, but I side-eye anyone who does three reality TV shows in less than a year. "Too good for this", he isn't.

And no, Wells, your mean-girl personality does not make up for your average looks.

1 hour ago, Ms Blue Jay said:

Ron Livingston ALSO deserves better.  Office Space 2, anyone?  Or at the very least, a spinoff about Berger?  

 

A Million Little Post-Its

Edited September 12, 2018 by chocolatine