Catelynn (and Tyler)

[iwasish]

It's annoying because in a previous season Tyler was all up in arms because he had signed up for college and Catelynn hadn't yet, and he seemed very upset and disappointed with Catelynn's procrastinating putting off signing up. He acted like he wasn't sure if he would even want to be with her if she didn't do something with her life. She finally did sign up and they were going to get an education "for Carly"...yada yada.  I'm not sure how long college lasted for both of them, but it didn't seem to be very long. I don't think either have even had jobs since Tyler worked at the pizza place and Catelynn worked at the boutique, and that was, what ---when they were about 17?

can you imagine Tyler in college? Every paper, every talk, every discussion he ever has will come around to Carly and how he sacrificed yada yada yada. I think Cate is capable of moving on and putting in perspective, but Tyler has his whole identity tied up in being the guy who gave his child up for adoption. Mr. Altruistic. All about Carly. But he's not, he's all about Tyler.

He's done with Cate too. All his excuses and reasons for not marrying her are just that excuses. He'll never marry her unless it's the only way he can stay relevant and on MTV and on the money train. He keeps Carly front and center in Cates life in order to keep her from moving on, because without her MTV has no use for him. His dad manipulated him and his emotions and he does the same to Cate.

[fliptopbox]

I know this isn't going to be a popular opinion but....as far as Catelynn and Tyler going to college and promising Carly they'd go to college, I think they were both being a little bit delusional about that.

I definitely think they should go to trade school or something, but I don't think either of them are intellectually cut out for a 4 year degree or even some associates degrees.

It was a really big deal when they finished high school. Tyler was so proud of himself that he wanted Carly at graduation (thankfully B&T shut that down). I doubt Butch finished high school. I may be misremembering, but I'm pretty sure that Catelynn said something seasons ago before she graduated high school like she didn't want to be "some loser who didn't graduate high school" to her mom. April looked offended and said "gee, thanks" or something. So I don't think she graduated high school either. I'm not sure about Kim & Catelynn's dad, but I'd think Kim did.

I know a family that owns a successful small business where the husband didn't finish high school and the mom has a bachelor's degree. When their kids graduated high school, it was such a huge deal, especially to the dad's side of the family. They treated it like how my family treated it when I graduated college. The dad and his family were SO proud. In my family it was just expected you'd finish high school and expected you go to college or learn a trade. I'm thinking neither of these were necessarily expectations in Tyler or Catelynn's families and it was a huge deal for them to complete high school.

I'm thinking that the odds were stacked against C&T to even finish high school and college is/was likely a pipe dream, given the situations they come from, their familes' lack of experience with higher education'a culture & expectations, and their own abilities. I think they probably feel proud of themselves for finishing high school in a the way most college grads feel about completing their degrees. Or heck, even how some who have finished grad/medical/law school feel if that's what was usual or expected in their families.

So I'm proud of them for finishing high school. Now, learn some sort of skill besides being a framewhore (looking at you, Tyler).

Also just wanted to add this- it's from a birth mom forum about Tyler's adoption regrets. Tyler has gotten into it with the writers on that site before. It's an interesting read:

http://www.firstmotherforum.com/2015/04/tyler-baltierras-adoption-regrets.html

Oh most definitely. I'm not sure C&T will ever get over patting themselves on the back just for finishing high school. Unfortunately these days unless you want to make fast food into a career you're going to need some kind of higher education, whether it's from community college, a 4yr university, or a local trade school. Something!!! It's been 5 years now, they need to move on. Even Kim who works for the postal service (at least, that's what it looks like) probably got some higher education, even if it was later in her life as an adult. I wouldn't be surprised if postal workers get some kind of comp or discount in classes....but I really have no idea.

 

 

can you imagine Tyler in college? Every paper, every talk, every discussion he ever has will come around to Carly and how he sacrificed yada yada yada. I think Cate is capable of moving on and putting in perspective, but Tyler has his whole identity tied up in being the guy who gave his child up for adoption. Mr. Altruistic. All about Carly. But he's not, he's all about Tyler.

He's done with Cate too. All his excuses and reasons for not marrying her are just that excuses. He'll never marry her unless it's the only way he can stay relevant and on MTV and on the money train. He keeps Carly front and center in Cates life in order to keep her from moving on, because without her MTV has no use for him. His dad manipulated him and his emotions and he does the same to Cate.

So much all of this. Tyler will never get past giving Carly up, and by him not getting past it he will never let Catelynn move forward either. Even with the birth of their second daughter I think she will always be held in second place because of the almighty Carly. Even if a situation has nothing to do with adoption, kids, or anything Tyler is that guy who will somehow manage to wrangle the conversation so he can talk about Carly. Everything is Carly, all the time. I'm pretty sure Nova is going to grow up thinking she is basically the poor man's Carly...the substitute child for the one they (mistakenly - to them) gave up.

Edited April 22, 2015 by fliptopbox

[iwasish]

Oh most definitely. I'm not sure C&T will ever get over patting themselves on the back just for finishing high school. Unfortunately these days unless you want to make fast food into a career you're going to need some kind of higher education, whether it's from community college, a 4yr university, or a local trade school. Something!!! It's been 5 years now, they need to move on. Even Kim who works for the postal service (at least, that's what it looks like) probably got some higher education, even if it was later in her life as an adult. I wouldn't be surprised if postal workers get some kind of comp or discount in classes....but I really have no idea.

 

 

So much all of this. Tyler will never get past giving Carly up, and by him not getting past it he will never let Catelynn move forward either. Even with the birth of their second daughter I think she will always be held in second place because of the almighty Carly. Even if a situation has nothing to do with adoption, kids, or anything Tyler is that guy who will somehow manage to wrangle the conversation so he can talk about Carly. Everything is Carly, all the time. I'm pretty sure Nova is going to grow up thinking she is basically the poor man's Carly...the substitute child for the one they (mistakenly - to them) gave up.

I'd like to hear them explain to Carly ( if she even cares) why they put her up for adoption due to their circumstances but kept her sister 6 yrs later despite being in virtually the same circumstances. ( except for the MTV money!!)

[wrestlesflamingos]

I hate the way Tyler tells Catelynn how to feel. His constant over talking and summing up.

[NikSac]

I hate the way Tyler tells Catelynn how to feel. His constant over talking and summing up.

 

I do too. Last night was the first time I noticed her pretty much encouraging it - although she's probably done it before and I missed it. Several times Tyler said something along the lines of "telling them how I feel" and she quietly said "we feel."  Made me sad for her.

[AnythingCanBe]

I'd like to hear them explain to Carly ( if she even cares) why they put her up for adoption due to their circumstances but kept her sister 6 yrs later despite being in virtually the same circumstances. ( except for the MTV money!!)

 

I've been thinking that maybe that is actually why they seem so regretful about the adoption lately.  I think they realize now that because of the MTV gravy train, they actually could've handled raising Carly (at least financially).  I don't agree, but they obviously think that a house and a couple cars suddenly puts them in a better position to have a child, even though they still lack education, ambition, and maturity.  In hindsight, they could've been in exactly the same place if they had kept Carly and been on the show.

 

As a side note, reason #243434808 why Carly is better off with B&T: She managed to escape a God-awful trendy name like Novalee Reign.

Edited April 22, 2015 by AnythingCanBe

[fliptopbox]

 

 

As a side note, reason #243434808 why Carly is better off with B&T: She managed to escape a God-awful trendy name like Novalee Reign.

Did B&T pick her name? I thought C&T did. Either way, Carly is definitely much better than Novalee. Yikes.

[Christina]

Also just wanted to add this- it's from a birth mom forum about Tyler's adoption regrets. Tyler has gotten into it with the writers on that site before. It's an interesting read:

http://www.firstmotherforum.com/2015/04/tyler-baltierras-adoption-regrets.html

 

I can see why Tyler got into it with them, what with them telling how he is supposed to feel and all. That post was a little interesting, but some of those comments were just disturbing. I couldn't even finish reading them all. So many were very anti-adoption, and one suggesting if they wanted any say, they needed to raise her themselves, or get family help. Originally, I thought that was true, but it seems like someone actually thought that was a suggested solution for these two.

 

Catelynn and Tyler voiced their reasoning for wanting to give their child up for adoption very clearly in the first meeting with Brandon and Teresa. It was a sound decision and showed maturity which we now know they don't possess. I remember a discussion, probably with Dr. Drew, where they thought the contract was just a starting point, and could change in the future. I knew then that they were mislead, or at the very least, this wasn't cleared up by Dawn.

 

Six years out, he posted a video against Brandon & Teresa's wishes because he is a famewhore who wanted likes on the internet. Not because he is regretting the adoption. IMO

[zenme]

Novalee Reign Baltierra? Okaaay...

 

Wasn't the main character in the book/movie "Where the Heart Is," named Novalee Nation.  The character then had a daughter named Americus Nation.  Will that be the name for Cait/Ty baby #3? 

Edited April 22, 2015 by zenme

[starfire]

I too have wondered if Novalee was named after Novalee Nation -- the mom who gave birth while hiding out in a Walmart.

Edited April 22, 2015 by starfire

[leighroda]

I'm fairly certain Brandon and Teresa named Carly... But I could be wrong. Now that they have named the second something that alarmingly sounds like nuvaring... And they are allegedly adults now... I can't imagine what they would have named Carly, I'm sure there would have been at least 3 "y"s and one "gh" combo.

[Darknight]

Even if they weren't compensated beyond medical/living expenses, these two absolutely profited off of the adoption (although they did not know they were going to do so).

Catelynn & Tyler were only on 16 & Pregnant/TM because Bethany was contacted by MTV looking for a couple that was choosing adoption. Had they not been placing Carly and doing so with Bethany, they wouldn't have been on the show or become famous, made this kind of money, etc. T&C are now spokespeople for Bethany:

"Bethany is proud to have a partnership with Catelynn and Tyler and together we are working to promote adoption and the benefits of pregnancy counseling. With their help, Bethany hopes to continue to educate expectant moms who may be considering an adoption plan for the baby."

http://www.impregnant.org/catelynntyler/

Catelynn and Tyler don't appear to have "jobs" (outside of TM) because their jobs are going around speaking about and promoting adoption: "Catelynn and Tyler make their living off speaking engagements, where they talk about adoption and their own experience with it": http://okmagazine.com/meet-the-stars/30-things-we-learned-from-the-farrah-catelynn-and-amber-teen-mom-catch-up-specials/

So even if they weren't paid for the adoption, the adoption is now the main source of their income- their MTV fame, their partnership with Bethany, their new book, their speaking engagements, etc. That's why Tyler can never ever let anyone forget that he's Carly's biodad and that they placed her for adoption, even if it means alienating her parents in the process.

Wow thanks for sharing. Makes more sense now

[Darknight]

I can see why Tyler got into it with them, what with them telling how he is supposed to feel and all. That post was a little interesting, but some of those comments were just disturbing. I couldn't even finish reading them all. So many were very anti-adoption, and one suggesting if they wanted any say, they needed to raise her themselves, or get family help. Originally, I thought that was true, but it seems like someone actually thought that was a suggested solution for these two.

Catelynn and Tyler voiced their reasoning for wanting to give their child up for adoption very clearly in the first meeting with Brandon and Teresa. It was a sound decision and showed maturity which we now know they don't possess. I remember a discussion, probably with Dr. Drew, where they thought the contract was just a starting point, and could change in the future. I knew then that they were mislead, or at the very least, this wasn't cleared up by Dawn.

Six years out, he posted a video against Brandon & Teresa's wishes because he is a famewhore who wanted likes on the internet. Not because he is regretting the adoption. IMO

And to adoptoraptor or baby broker "Tina", sorry to break it to you; you are just "glorified guardians". You don't want pesky natural famlies around proving that point to you. You are jealous, possessive and greedy. Nothing more, nothing less. Imagine yourself in the shoes of a natural parent who watches her child call some genetic stranger mommy. Can't imagine it, can ya? Of course you can't because it isn't natural.

Wow. It's more like an anti adoption forum. There are people who are anti adoption. This comment as an adoptive parent disgusts me. That's not a stranger she calls mommy that's her mom.

Edited April 24, 2015 by wrestlesflamingos
added quote tags

[MargeGunderson]

And to adoptoraptor or baby broker "Tina", sorry to break it to you; you are just "glorified guardians". You don't want pesky natural famlies around proving that point to you. You are jealous, possessive and greedy. Nothing more, nothing less. Imagine yourself in the shoes of a natural parent who watches her child call some genetic stranger mommy. Can't imagine it, can ya? Of course you can't because it isn't natural. 

Wow. It's more like an anti adoption forum. There are people who are anti adoption. This comment as an adoptive parent disgusts me. That's not a stranger she calls mommy that's her mom.

 

"Glorified guardians?" Calling the people who are taking 24/7 care of the child that you birthed but couldn't/didn't want to provide for "jealous, possessive & greedy?" That's crazy F-ed up! They clearly have no idea what truly makes a parent.

 

I wonder how different Tyler's feelings really are than that person, what with the "my kid" and attitude that kind of comes off like B&T are just babysitting until Carly turns 18.  I suspect there's either a tremendous amount of guilt with Tyler for not being able to handle a child at 16 (kudos for recognizing it) or a huge ego that that is fed by all of the idiots who encourage his thinking. Wait, why choose? It's probably a combination of both.

[Tatum]

 

Imagine yourself in the shoes of a natural parent who watches her child call some genetic stranger mommy.

 

I wasn't going to touch this with a 10 foot pole, but...who ARE these people? Would they truly rather their bio child be raised in a family where she feels like a boarder, and has to wait until she's 18 (and financially providing for herself) to finally bond with a mother figure? I know this person doesn't speak for all biological parents who choose adoption for their offspring, but is still infuriating and proves right there why some people are not ready to be parents. It should not be about the bio vs. adoptive parent- it should be about what is best for the child.

 

Tyler is all up in arms about B&T supposedly trampling on his rights, never once considering that this is really about protecting Carly, not B&T trying to stick it to him however they can because they're so jealous he was able to procreate when they had fertility problems.

[Snarky McSnarky]

This is purely anecdotal but it is possible T&C may be in for a shock.  My SO's older sister was put up for adoption because the bio father hauled ass and the mother was an unemployed teen.  The mother later married a guy who proceeded to father four children, crawl into a bottle, and abandon his family.  They lived in extreme poverty most of their lives.  The adopted daughter and birth mother located each other after mutual searches, but the result was ugly.  The daughter could not get over the fact that her mother "abandoned" her yet kept all of her other children, even though she had an upper middle class upbringing instead of something out of The Grapes of Wrath.  She proceeded to punish not only the mother but her half-siblings for the rest of her life.

 

You never know how things will turn out.  For every feel-good birth parent story, there are probably an equal number of heartbreaking disasters. 

[rho]

 

I know this isn't going to be a popular opinion but....as far as Catelynn and Tyler going to college and promising Carly they'd go to college, I think they were both being a little bit delusional about that.

I definitely think they should go to trade school or something, but I don't think either of them are intellectually cut out for a 4 year degree or even some associates degrees.

 

I think the really delusional part was that they believe Carly gives two shits whether they go to college or not. At the end of the day B&T are her parents. They are the ones who will encourage her to pursue higher education and/or chase her dreams, whatever they might be.

 

There was a time when I truly believed that both Tyler and Cate could get degrees. That was the whole point of choosing adoption. They were free to get an education and with the MTV money rolling in they didn't need real jobs. But if they were going to go the educational route, it would have happened by now. They've had six years to get it done and they haven't even started. Today, I don't even think they could accomplish trade school. It might be a better fit mentally, but it's a much bigger time commitment than community college and they don't have a single semester under their belt, between the two of them.

 

But there's really no excuse for them to do absolutely nothing. No school and no job other than being on teen mom and updating their fan page. How can they bring yet another child into this world with no long term income plans. What if TM gets cancelled again?

[Maharincess]

Brandon and Theresa named Carly. Her full name is Carolyn. I think she's named after a family member.

I think what the poster meant (please correct me if I'm wrong) was that Carly escaped being named Novaleigh or whatever because Tyler and Catelynn DIDN'T name her.

Edited April 23, 2015 by Maharincess

[MargeGunderson]

I wonder if Nova-whatever (I just can't with that name) will be compared unfavorably to Carly as she grows up. I can just see Tyler thinking and probably saying things like "Carly gets straight As" and "Carly wouldn't miss curfew" etc. My parents certainly pulled that crap with my siblings and me, but at least we could (and did!) point out that none of us was perfect. The difference is that there's no way Nova-whatever can compete with an idea of what Carly's like. I hope Tyler and Caitlyn give some thought to how they talk about Carly around Nova, especially as she gets older.

[Katydid]

Didn't someone start a college fund for C&T soon after their 16&Preg show aired- like a Go Fund Me type thing? If so, I wonder where the $ went. Not for college, that's for sure!

[purplemonkey]

I think part of the problem with letting go of Carly is they don't have careers or anything to have a real identity. Whatever speeches they've been doing for adoption (pro-life stuff included) has not given them the sense of accomplishment that would come from being on a career path or pursuing something worthwhile.

Unfortunately one's kids can be seen as status symbols, in all socioeconomic classes, and I think they're leaning on Carly for that a bit too much. Even the new baby will have the unique identity of being Carly's bio sibling.

[FozzyBear]

I think part of the problem with letting go of Carly is they don't have careers or anything to have a real identity. Whatever speeches they've been doing for adoption (pro-life stuff included) has not given them the sense of accomplishment that would come from being on a career path or pursuing something worthwhile.

Unfortunately one's kids can be seen as status symbols, in all socioeconomic classes, and I think they're leaning on Carly for that a bit too much. Even the new baby will have the unique identity of being Carly's bio sibling.

I think part of the problem with letting Carly go is that they didn't. For these two kids the combination of an open adoption and a TV show seems to have added up to an inability to move past Carly's birth in any way. I sometimes wonder if a closed adoption would have been easier on them. I think ideally in an open adoption the birth parents have some sort of support system helping them set healthy boundaries and expectations. Tayler and Caitlyn really don't have that. Their families act like Carly is away at summer camp and they're going to pick her up soon. I feel like with the show and the crazy of their home life the open adoption has had a bit of a water torture vibe to it. Especially for Caitlyn, who didn't want to give up Carly in the first place. I don't know. Adoption is near and dear to my heart (a few family members, an ex, a close friend. All on various side of the triangle), but I've seen enough to know there isn't one "right" way to do it that works for everyone. I'm sure open adoption looked good on paper for this group, but I'm not so sure it actually was the best way to go.

[msblossom]

I wonder if Nova-whatever (I just can't with that name) will be compared unfavorably to Carly as she grows up. I can just see Tyler thinking and probably saying things like "Carly gets straight As" and "Carly wouldn't miss curfew" etc. My parents certainly pulled that crap with my siblings and me, but at least we could (and did!) point out that none of us was perfect. The difference is that there's no way Nova-whatever can compete with an idea of what Carly's like. I hope Tyler and Caitlyn give some thought to how they talk about Carly around Nova, especially as she gets older.

Oh I think that's a real possibility for sure. I mean through no fault of their own, one could hardly not make comparisons as unfair as it seems. However, Tyler and Cate don't need to verbalize those comparisons and hopefully they won't. They are full blooded siblings, girls, and it will be difficult to navigate through that for T&C I imagine, and I hope they continue to get ongoing counseling as they climb these hurdles.

[msblossom]

I think part of the problem with letting Carly go is that they didn't. For these two kids the combination of an open adoption and a TV show seems to have added up to an inability to move past Carly's birth in any way. I sometimes wonder if a closed adoption would have been easier on them. I think ideally in an open adoption the birth parents have some sort of support system helping them set healthy boundaries and expectations. Tayler and Caitlyn really don't have that. Their families act like Carly is away at summer camp and they're going to pick her up soon. I feel like with the show and the crazy of their home life the open adoption has had a bit of a water torture vibe to it. Especially for Caitlyn, who didn't want to give up Carly in the first place. I don't know. Adoption is near and dear to my heart (a few family members, an ex, a close friend. All on various side of the triangle), but I've seen enough to know there isn't one "right" way to do it that works for everyone. I'm sure open adoption looked good on paper for this group, but I'm not so sure it actually was the best way to go.

Great post! I agree. Being on the show and their "job" with Bethany doesn't really allow them to let go and move past Carly's birth -- it's sort of their identity and calling card now, which they had no idea of when this all started. It's really quite sad and desperate. I feel sorry for Cate bc she seems like she's in a lot of pain. She has been through so much for someone her age. I was adopted at birth and I'm so glad my adoption wasn't open (those didn't exist at the time) and I advocate for closed bc of this very thing with B & T and T & C. My niece had an open adoption and she really did not like the visitation or communication with her biological mom. She's 21 now, but she had quarterly visitation visits since she was an infant. She doesn't maintain communication now that she's an adult.

[Brooklynista]

Have we ever seen Tyler interact w "the fellas"? .  Adam had random chicken wing outings with the guys. We've seen Ryan and Gary interact with their crew, but have we ever seen Tyler around any men outside of Butch?

 

I'm just thinking about all the chest puffery that he does and I wonder if he puts on the same performance around men.  All I can think of is him around Catelyn, his mom and some sisters.  Does he go out for a beer w the guys? Muddin' or whatever the hell they do in Minnesota.  Or is he just hanging around in his circle full of women.  Sometimes I take all of his bravado as a way for him to assert that he is a man, lest they forget because he's never around any.

 

I'm just rambling.  Trying to make sense of a tough guy who's probably never been in an argument with a person outside of his immediate circle.

[poopchute]

I also think a big problem for them is that they were sleeping with a blanket that had a GIANT picture of Carly's face on it.  Do most birth parents do that?  I'd like to see the statistics on that.

[TresGatos]

Did B&T pick her name? I thought C&T did. Either way, Carly is definitely much better than Novalee. Yikes.

Novalee sounds, ironically, like a form of birth control.

[Darknight]

Catelynn and Tyler need to go to therapy. Them and their families thought open adoption meant co parenting and it doesn't. Only time will tell what Carly will think of her birth parents. I feel for Carly, she's the victim.

I wonder if Carly might have some negative feelings towards Catelynn and Tyler. I mean it's normal for adoptees to feel hurt and abandon. But all this bs talk about getting themselves together and that's why they chose adoption but kept Nova might cause some negative feelings. I really do think Brandon and Theresa are being too nice. But then if they closed the adoption I can't imagine how an even bigger ass Tyler will be and their fans. I can't believe I read a comment about Brandon and Theresa should pay Caitlyn and Tyler for child support since they want to be Carlys parents so badly. Wtf? It's like a soap opera

[Tatum]

 

I can't believe I read a comment about Brandon and Theresa should pay Caitlyn and Tyler for child support since they want to be Carlys parents so badly.

 

I'm going to have to stop reading this thread. The comments from their fans make my head explode. Is the fan suggesting that C&T deserve "royalties" for providing B&T with a kid? Crazy as Tyler is becoming, I am sure he would tell that fan that B&T providing Carly with a stable, happy childhood is payment enough. Although it's kind of skeezy to refer to any consequence that stems from the placement of your child in the adoption system as "payment".

[AmyFarrahFowler]

I'm going to have to stop reading this thread. The comments from their fans make my head explode. Is the fan suggesting that C&T deserve "royalties" for providing B&T with a kid? Crazy as Tyler is becoming, I am sure he would tell that fan that B&T providing Carly with a stable, happy childhood is payment enough. Although it's kind of skeezy to refer to any consequence that stems from the placement of your child in the adoption system as "pay

 

Without using the word payment, Tyler has pretty much (loudly and obnoxiously) made his feelings known that B&T do owe him. To quote him "we GAVE them Carly" sounds pretty entitled to me.

[starfire]

I wish Dawn, the adoption "counselor", would strongly encourage Tyler to go to counseling (with someone other than her) about his issues with the adoption. Both C&T have been shown in the past to be willing to seek out counseling over various issues, and I think he might truly benefit from it. I think C&T's status as speakers for Bethany Adoption Services-- and Catelynn's apparent role in "helping" several girls/women make the decision to place their babies through Bethany -- make Dawn's position as an "adoption counselor" to them a huge conflict of interest.

Edited April 25, 2015 by starfire

[zenme]

I agree, starfire.  Tyler does need some kind of therapy, but that kid just thinks he knows everything.

[Darknight]

Imagine poor Carly. This child without her consent is the poster child for open adoption. She's stuck in two difficult places. I'm sure for years to come people will be wondering and watching to see if she'll have a connection with both parents are consider Catelynn and Tyler her real "parents" because some people do think that. Poor kid. Tyler think about Carly. How will your actions affect her.

[Pickles Aplenty]

I've often wondered if Carly will feel pressured to have a relationship with C&T because of all this, even if she doesn't particularly want to.  Imagine the crap she would get if she decided against it, with all this being so public her whole life; C&T's "fans" would turn on her and call her ungrateful for all C&T have done for her, etc. etc.  It would be a mess.

Edited April 26, 2015 by Billina

[Darknight]

I've often wondered if Carly will feel pressured to have a relationship with C&T because of all this, even if she doesn't particularly want to. Imagine the crap she would get if she decided against it, with all this being so public her whole life; C&T's "fans" would turn on her and call her ungrateful for all C&T have done for her, etc. etc. It would be a mess.

Which is why I feel bad for. This poor kid didn't ask for this. The fans leave comments like just wait 12 more years Carly will be back in your arms or Carly will leave her adoptive parents at 18, move in with Caitlin and Tyler, then forget about Brandon and Theresa. I don't think people realize well their fans don't realize some adoptees don't want a relationship with their bio parents. Some might vist once then move on with their lives. Some may call but then that's it. I agree that the fans will turn on Carly as she gets older and especially when she becomes a teen if she doesn't visit or wants to see Caitlin and Tyler. I hope by then Tyler and Caitlyn grew up and puts their own selfish needs aside.

[Maharincess]

If Carly watches any of these shows when she's older she'll see not only the lovely April having tantrums and calling her daughter a fucking bitch but she'll get to see wife beating Butch talking about prison.

Then in later season she sees Tyler acting the way he's been acting and the way he's insulting her parents.

I honestly don't see her ever wanting a relationship with any of them.

[DangerousMinds]

I am also adopted from infancy, and have always known, although I have no info about my bio parents. At 18, I was caught up in going away to college and all the rest and didn't give a thought to my adoption. Carly may be the same.

[Pickles Aplenty]

I have a feeling B&T will explain things to Carly as best they can and leave it up to her whether she wants a relationship with C&T when she is old enough.  C&T are living in their own little world, though; the way they talk, they are 100% certain Carly will come back to them someday and they will all be a happy family again.  I don't watch the show regularly so I might have missed it, but have C&T ever entertained the notion that that might not happen?  Carly might consider B&T and their relatives all the family she needs and might be perfectly happy with the occasional visit or phone call.  Now that C&T have given her a full-blooded sister, it's just going to complicate things even more.  I can see Carly wanting to know Nova more than C&T, and that will cause some bitterness and strife because that is not in C&T's plans.  Carly is supposed to come back to them, first and foremost.  Because they did the selfless, mature thing and gave her a better life.  Ugh.

[AmyFarrahFowler]

I am also adopted from infancy, and have always known, although I have no info about my bio parents. At 18, I was caught up in going away to college and all the rest and didn't give a thought to my adoption. Carly may be the same.

 

If Carly will be able to get caught up in her future. I hope pity for C&T won't always keep her connected to their habit of living in the past.

[Brooklynista]

How about when Carly turns 12 and decides she doesn't want to do yearly visits with that dude that keeps calling her "his kid"? The cut off might happen way sooner than Carly turning 18yrs old.

[zenme]

I hope this isn't the case with Carly, but some children--adopted or not, go through a rebellion stage where they can't stand their parents, or struggle with that relationship.  I hope that, should Carly go through something like that, she doesn't seek out Tyler and Caitlynn in the hopes of getting away from Brandon and Teresa.  T & C (well, Tyler) seems the type to further alienate Carly from her parents, rather than to actually help Carly.

Edited April 26, 2015 by zenme

[Maharincess]

I have a feeling B&T will explain things to Carly as best they can and leave it up to her whether she wants a relationship with C&T when she is old enough. C&T are living in their own little world, though; the way they talk, they are 100% certain Carly will come back to them someday and they will all be a happy family again. I don't watch the show regularly so I might have missed it, but have C&T ever entertained the notion that that might not happen? Carly might consider B&T and their relatives all the family she needs and might be perfectly happy with the occasional visit or phone call. Now that C&T have given her a full-blooded sister, it's just going to complicate things even more. I can see Carly wanting to know Nova more than C&T, and that will cause some bitterness and strife because that is not in C&T's plans. Carly is supposed to come back to them, first and foremost. Because they did the selfless, mature thing and gave her a better life. Ugh.

Novalee will probably meet Carly and want to move in with Theresa and Brandon.

I sure as hell would if I had to make that choice.

[zenme]

Novalee will probably meet Carly and want to move in with Theresa and Brandon.

I sure as hell would if I had to make that choice

 

 

I did a hearty and nasty laugh out loud on that one, Maharincess, and as I'm typing there is a residual chuckle.  That would be soooo funny. 

[starfire]

Novalee will probably meet Carly and want to move in with Theresa and Brandon.

I sure as hell would if I had to make that choice.

That is an interesting thought. B&T can offer Carly a stable home in a nice neighborhood, what appears to be a wholesome family life, good income from a real job, they are probably saving for Carly's college education already, and so on. They will be very good role models for Carly. While C&T certainly love Novalee, unless they get their shit together and do something with their lives, the money from Teen Mom will run out sooner rather than later and then what? Didn't Tyler scream at Butch that love wasn't enough to raise a child? And now all they have is love and the profits they earn from giving their first daughter up for adoption.

[NikSac]

I have a feeling B&T will explain things to Carly as best they can and leave it up to her whether she wants a relationship with C&T when she is old enough.  C&T are living in their own little world, though; the way they talk, they are 100% certain Carly will come back to them someday and they will all be a happy family again.  I don't watch the show regularly so I might have missed it, but have C&T ever entertained the notion that that might not happen?  Carly might consider B&T and their relatives all the family she needs and might be perfectly happy with the occasional visit or phone call.  Now that C&T have given her a full-blooded sister, it's just going to complicate things even more.  I can see Carly wanting to know Nova more than C&T, and that will cause some bitterness and strife because that is not in C&T's plans.  Carly is supposed to come back to them, first and foremost.  Because they did the selfless, mature thing and gave her a better life.  Ugh.

 

I don't even know that it's C&T so much as their bizarre fans. Seems like Tyler just wants "likes" and Catelynn seems like she'd be happy with pictures every so often. I don't see either of them wanting Carly, they just enjoy their fans saying she'll be "back" some day. Poor kid.  I think she scored with a good home, but I can see her being confused as heck when she gets older.

Which is why I feel bad for. This poor kid didn't ask for this. The fans leave comments like just wait 12 more years Carly will be back in your arms or Carly will leave her adoptive parents at 18, move in with Caitlin and Tyler, then forget about Brandon and Theresa. I don't think people realize well their fans don't realize some adoptees don't want a relationship with their bio parents. Some might vist once then move on with their lives. Some may call but then that's it. I agree that the fans will turn on Carly as she gets older and especially when she becomes a teen if she doesn't visit or wants to see Caitlin and Tyler. I hope by then Tyler and Caitlyn grew up and puts their own selfish needs aside.

 

Also sometimes bio-parents don't really want a relationship with the child. My friend who was a bio-mom reluctantly entered into an open adoption and it annoyed the crap out of her when the child's parents sent her photos and updates. She didn't want to know. I wish C&T felt more like that - just let Carly live her life without them.

[Tatum]

I don't even know that it's C&T so much as their bizarre fans. Seems like Tyler just wants "likes" and Catelynn seems like she'd be happy with pictures every so often.

 

I don't really watch these guys that consistently, but I somewhat agree. I don't think Tyler has/had any interest in raising Carly at any point. Watching the 16 and Pregnant episode again, I think Tyler gave up his rights to Carly as much for his own sake as for hers. On the other hand, I think Cate would have loved to keep her and gave her up solely for Carly's best interest (well, maybe a little because that's what Tyler wanted). But if Cate could have known about the eventual Teen Mom money train, I actually think she would have kept Carly, even without Tyler's approval. Sometimes I wonder if that's why she dislikes Farrah so much- Farrah had the resources of her family to keep Sophia, yet seemed to want to keep the baby more to spite her parents than a genuine bond she had with Sophia. I mean, Maci had support too, but at least she seems to appreciate her child.

 

Anyways, all that said, I think Cate understands that that particular ship sailed, and that her relationship with Carly can be friendly, but they will never have a mother-daughter bond. Tyler on the other hand just wants to remind everyone of what a selfless guy he is. If he doesn't act like he's still affected by the loss of Carly, people won't appreciate his sacrifice as much.

[wrestlesflamingos]

Farrah didn't keep Sophia to spite anyone. Farrah wanted an abortion and Debra said no. Once Farrah was strong armed into giving birth, there was never any discussion about adoption. There was a lot of debate back in the day that Farrah should have sought out the abortion without Debra. If I remember: Nebraska has some laws about minors and abortion, the nearest friendly state for a minor without consent was pretty far away.

I'm glad the world includes Sophia but Farrah was correct that she was not equipped to be a parent.

[Tatum]

Didn't Debra suggest adoption in the 16 and pregnant episode?

[wrestlesflamingos]

I'm not entirely sure but I don't think so. Perhaps a 3rd opinion will come along.

[Darknight]

Farrah didn't keep Sophia to spite anyone. Farrah wanted an abortion and Debra said no. Once Farrah was strong armed into giving birth, there was never any discussion about adoption. There was a lot of debate back in the day that Farrah should have sought out the abortion without Debra. If I remember: Nebraska has some laws about minors and abortion, the nearest friendly state for a minor without consent was pretty far away.

I'm glad the world includes Sophia but Farrah was correct that she was not equipped to be a parent.

Why did Debra say no? I mean Farrah even after Sophia was born was still acting like a child not a parent. There was one episode where Farrah wanted to go hang out, her mom stop her, then Farrah complained that just because she's a mom she's still a teenager and wants to have fun

Thanks to Catelynn and Tyler and their childish behavior regarding open adoption, some fans posted that they will never have an open adoption if the bio parents are going to act like that.

Edited April 27, 2015 by Darknight