Amber: A Rill Woman Goes to Gel

[DNR]

Let's hope Amber isn't dumb enough to get knocked up by that greasy clown, cuz once the TM-OG gravy train comes to a stop - Deadbeat Matt will be outta there and on the run from Amber & spawn. 

Amber, bank your $$$ - the show will end. Such foolishness by these TM ladies 

[dabronx]

Ugg these girls car obsessions bother me the most out of all their unwise money choices! Holy shit can you please get one of the cameramen or boom operators to explain to you what depreciation is?? Fuck. Please send me all your money to invest. I promise to still send you enough to get a monthly mani-pedi and a 4 night 5 day vacation somewhere nice each year. If you go out and get a real job I might release enough extra to get new carpets and professional potty-training for your various animals (looking directly at you Taylor and Matt!).

[geekamonggeeks]

What part of "This is your only source of income" do these idiots not understand? Amber has no job skills or prospects for when this show finally kicks the bucket, and clearly no savings to support her deadbeat ass. But what irritates me the most is that she refuses to pay child support, but then goes out and buys this monster truck like it's no big deal. She's literally picking a freaking car over her own daughter, though I shouldn't be surprised. This is just another thing in a long list of things and people who have taken precedence over Leah. That little girl has never once been Amber's priority. 

[DNR]

One commenter nailed Amber/Leah SO perfectly - Amber behaves like Leah's childless Aunt. 

I can't wait till TM ends and these girls get a rude awakening - please let there be a ' Teen Moms Where Are They Now?' special after ?

[JZone]

On 9/3/2016 at 6:09 PM, ginger90 said:

Just saw that Amber has a new vehicle. A Range Rover, how special. And she calls it her "new baby", idiot.

Her new baby is the only baby her and her dead beat fiance will ever part with their money for. 

Courts are after them for child support because neither one of them will step up and act like a parent, but they will throw all this money towards vehicles. Neither one of them works, and this Teen Mom gig has a short shelf life (especially since these teen moms are now in their mid 20s). You think it might dawn on them that maybe they should take advantage of this once in a lifetime opportunity to get heaps of money for literally sitting on the couch, and actually invest it. Maybe put some aside for Leah's college? Or maybe help out with the litter of kids Matt abandoned? Nah, much better to buy a new flashy car each year.

[Calm81]

I'm not sure where to put this but since all the moms are squandering money (aside from Cate) anyone have a guess when the last season may end? Not including episode B, C , D....

I'm taking a wild guess and will say not this season but the next is the last for teen mom OG, unless of course this seasons ratings bombed because most are just tuning in and fast forwarding Farrah and Maci's scenes.

I'm also guessing that season 8 will be the last for Teen Mom 2. I say this because the ex-husbands/ex-boyfriends are pulling the plug and that will leave the "teen" moms with no storyline or talking to producers for any drama.

I think Chelsea will be the one that turns the life support machines off now that she's getting married and having Coles baby. She wants privacy and she hasn't been shy about voicing that. She's done with this show and she knows Cole is not extroverted and will sacrifice the TM money for his comfort. Love.

Kailyn is in denial if she thinks her "fans" are going to wait inpatiently for her daily butt pic once this show ends. Her fake kadashian life is going to slap her big booty hard. No more VMA red carpets and no more sales on those books. 

Just my 3 quarters.

Edited September 5, 2016 by Calm81

[Elizabeth9]

On September 4, 2016 at 2:59 PM, geekamonggeeks said:

What part of "This is your only source of income" do these idiots not understand? Amber has no job skills or prospects for when this show finally kicks the bucket, and clearly no savings to support her deadbeat ass. But what irritates me the most is that she refuses to pay child support, but then goes out and buys this monster truck like it's no big deal. She's literally picking a freaking car over her own daughter, though I shouldn't be surprised. This is just another thing in a long list of things and people who have taken precedence over Leah. That little girl has never once been Amber's priority. 

Don't forget she's a felon!  Employers love that

[starfire]

Not only is she a felon, it was a violent crime which limits her job prospects even more.

[ginger90]

There are jobs out there for felons. Amber doesn't want a job. She and Matt should be out there busting their butts.

I wish they would show more of Christina and Gary.

[evilmindatwork]

The fact that Amber supports Matt's leaching and predatory ass but refuses to pay child support for Leah truly disgusts me. 

[ginger90]

I think Amber pays the support. The disagreement seemed to be if she owed back support. I think she should have paid back support. Perhaps since she didn't, that is why she ended up with the same minimum visitation. 

[teapot]

14 hours ago, ginger90 said:

 

I wish they would show more of Christina and Gary.

The "Gary buns" were a refreshing break from a very dark episode!

[ghoulina]

16 hours ago, ginger90 said:

I wish they would show more of Christina and Gary.

I don't. The more they feature, and pay, these people - the worse they seem to become. Right now Gary and his little family seem relatively, and surprisingly, normal. 

[RamonaSenomar]

I feel this burning desire to get this off my chest:  it irks me to infinity and beyond when Amber addresses Leah as "booger", "booger butt", or any variety of snot-related terms of endearment.  

I hate it, and I want to throat punch her every time she does it.

[Uncle JUICE]

36 minutes ago, RamonaSenomar said:

I feel this burning desire to get this off my chest:  it irks me to infinity and beyond when Amber addresses Leah as "booger", "booger butt", or any variety of snot-related terms of endearment.  

I hate it, and I want to throat punch her every time she does it.

Would you prefer Sophia s nom de guerre, "baby goo"? These kids are too old for that garbage now. Their continued use suggests that they aren't around these kid enough to start recognizing them as people, not babies.

[ghoulina]

My oldest is 8 and I still use his baby nickname (Which is Wampy, and has many derivations, such as Wamp Sizzler and Wampsy-doozy), but I NEVER do it in front of his friends or in public. 

[Uncle JUICE]

53 minutes ago, RamonaSenomar said:

Damn you quotebox

I'm just saying, wamp sizzler is a dope ass nickname. I wish people would call me that. It's a great hip hop artist name. I bet drake wishes he picked it.

[GreatKazu]

1 hour ago, Uncle JUICE said:

I'm just saying, wamp sizzler is a dope ass nickname. I wish people would call me that. It's a great hip hop artist name. I bet drake wishes he picked it.

Alrighty. From now on you are Wamp Sizzler. How about The Sizz?

I can't believe it isn't already taken by some hip-hop artist? Shoot. @ghoulina you better get that nick-name trademarked or registered stat!!

What is going on with Matt's mouth? His lips are gross. They look like they have a white film on them all the damn time. His gums are lacking in pink color. So unhealthy. His teeth belong on a horse.

I cannot stand Matt and Amber. They are scum. They gross me out. All I wanna do is throw down Billy Jack style.

[Uncle JUICE]

17 minutes ago, GreatKazu said:

 

What is going on with Matt's mouth? His lips are gross. They look like they have a white film on them all the damn time. His gums are lacking in pink color. 

He looks like that guy who always had that gross spittle in the corners of perpetually chapped lips. You know that guy.

[guilfoyleatpp]

@Brooklynista I'm dying... "Dickmatized" omg must work this into real life conversation!

[ghoulina]

15 hours ago, Uncle JUICE said:

I'm just saying, wamp sizzler is a dope ass nickname. I wish people would call me that. It's a great hip hop artist name. I bet drake wishes he picked it.

 

14 hours ago, GreatKazu said:

Alrighty. From now on you are Wamp Sizzler. How about The Sizz?

I can't believe it isn't already taken by some hip-hop artist? Shoot. @ghoulina you better get that nick-name trademarked or registered stat!!

LOL, you guys are cracking me up. I am known for creating crazy nicknames. I added "sauce" to the end of my daughters name, and then eventually dropped the actual name and started calling her "Sauce Bucket". My entire family hates it and think it's disgusting. My middle child, I added "bear" after his name and then over time he became "F___ Bear - Bo Share". I'm crazy with the nicknames!!!

Uncle Juice, you can go ahead and have the name, since my son isn't into hip hop at all. He's super into punkrock, just like his old mom. ;)

[Uncle JUICE]

I might do an experiment where I tell people to start calling me that to see how many people ask "Where the f does Wamp Sizzle have anything to do with your name???, but I don't really have the level of cool to pull that off :). 

[RamonaSenomar]

16 hours ago, Uncle JUICE said:

Would you prefer Sophia s nom de guerre, "baby goo"? These kids are too old for that garbage now. Their continued use suggests that they aren't around these kid enough to start recognizing them as people, not babies.

Putting a mental block on "baby goo" and all the voice in which it was (is??) said was successful ... until now.  
It's like an earworm that'll be on my mind at work all the live long day *shudder*.
 

Edited September 9, 2016 by RamonaSenomar
"baby goo" is an unofficial earworm. you're welcome

[TonAmi]

Matt's "house flipping" business, was he just using Amber's money to do it? Was Amber involved in these properties? The whole thing seems so suspect.

[FlowerofCarnage]

17 hours ago, Uncle JUICE said:

He looks like that guy who always had that gross spittle in the corners of perpetually chapped lips. You know that guy.

Not only that, he looks like his clothes smell of mildew and his feet give off odor that is toxic to people with compromised immune systems and small children. He just looks so gross that I can't believe several women let him get near them let alone have "relations" with him.

[Uncle JUICE]

I feel like he's employing some really shady techniques to get those encounters going. Like pretending to be a sex addict at SexAnon meetings, trolling the drunkies at 3AM after pretending to drink vodkas when it was really water because he's got no money, etc. 

ETA going to funerals for people he knows had sisters in law who were single and emotionally vulnerable. Wearing a necklace that's like half a heart so he can make up some story about how his true love was murdered by drug dealers in a case of mistaken identity, and that's all he has left to remember her by. 

ETA getting a ribbon tattoo signfiying he's a survivor of some kind, or knows one very close to him, so he can tell a sob story. "Yeah, I had a second cousin who had a real tough time with Lyme disease...ever since then, I try to raise awareness, you know? I always tell myself, if I can save one more child, it's worth it."

Edited September 12, 2016 by Uncle JUICE

[Rebecca]

I think it's horrible that Amber calls Leah "boo boo" aka "mistake" basically. Yeah, I'm guessing she doesn't mean it that way and just thinks it's "cute" but since Amber seems like she doesn't care much and isn't involved much it kinda rings true... I sure hope Leah never feels that her mom is calling her a mistake.

PS: Uncle Juice, you crack me up!!

Edited September 11, 2016 by Rebecca

[Elizabeth9]

On September 7, 2016 at 6:21 PM, ginger90 said:

There are jobs out there for felons. Amber doesn't want a job. She and Matt should be out there busting their butts.

I wish they would show more of Christina and Gary.

There aren't many, and the ones that there are, generally don't pay well and involve very hard work.

All of the TM girls from both season have won the lottery, but probably Amber most of all.  She'd be living a life on the edge of survival if it wasn't for TM.  Felons don't fare well in this society.

[MissMel]

Felons who want to work, can. It's not necessarily hard work either. Habitual offenders have a harder time though. For two reasons; 1. They generally only pursue easy money and 2. Employers need steady, reliable employees that care to show up. It's hard to give a habitual offender a chance because of their track record.

One time offenders, aka made a huge screwup but genuinely trying to do better, are easier to give/get a second chance opportunity. At this point, Amber falls into this group. If there was no Mtv in her life, I think she could have found ample employment just out of prison. There are plenty of steady jobs that don't require a person to handle money or intense labor. Construction supplies and services, practically everything automobile related, churches, etc. The biggest requirement is showing up and being productive on your shift. Hell, if a person needs more flexible work hours, become an Uber driver. Or parts/errands driver. "Where there's a will, there's a way." I think Amber could have and would have done this without Mtv in her life after prison. Or "jel" as she likes to call it. Matt, on the other hand, wouldn't even bother. 

[CofCinci]

Amber also has the time and money available to attend college, if she wanted a professional career. Dependent on the industry, having a felony is not a barrier to employment. 

[charmed1]

On September 3, 2016 at 8:09 PM, Snarky McSnarky said:

Ugh, Range Rovers are rolling money pits.  Few vehicles are more expensive to own than those things.  Great choice.

Barely ten months ago, she posted a pic of her previous "new baby," a Cadillac Escalade.  Imagine the money she lost trading that in or terminating her lease early.  Thousands of dollars down the toilet.  She must think her last name is Kardashian.

  http://www.wetpaint.com/amber-portwood-car-matt-baier-escalade-1460778/

Have these girls ever heard of a Toyota Camry? Or for the ones with multiple kidses and petses, how about a Honda Odyssey with optional third row seating to accommodate the loser friend who's getting paid to ask you, "So how are you feeling?" Those vehicles not only can come fully loaded with the latest technology, they also hold their value for years to come. What is the obsession with flossin in these huge luxury gas guzzlers? Especially for someone like Amber who doesn't even have custody of the one kid she had!

[Snarky McSnarky]

I would have killed for a nice Camry or Odyssey type vehicle when I was a single parent driving around in a shitwagon.  It is more important for these women to impress total strangers than to invest their MTV money in a way that will pay dividends for the rest of their lives. 

[Uncle JUICE]

1 hour ago, charmed1 said:

Have these girls ever heard of a Toyota Camry? Or for the ones with multiple kidses and petses, how about a Honda Odyssey with optional third row seating to accommodate the loser friend who's getting paid to ask you, "So how are you feeling?" Those vehicles not only can come fully loaded with the latest technology, they also hold their value for years to come. What is the obsession with flossin in these huge luxury gas guzzlers? Especially for someone like Amber who doesn't even have custody of the one kid she had!

It's even more absurd when you think they're cruising the streets of places like Anderson, IN, not exactly Miami Beach.

[teapot]

9 minutes ago, Uncle JUICE said:

It's even more absurd when you think they're cruising the streets of places like Anderson, IN, not exactly Miami Beach.

I wish some of these girls' neighbors would post, like what's Amber doing all day, cruising in her new ride?

[MargeGunderson]

47 minutes ago, Uncle JUICE said:

It's even more absurd when you think they're cruising the streets of places like Anderson, IN, not exactly Miami Beach.

In Amber's case, it's absurd since she's spending 90% of her waking hours on her nasty couch. She barely needs a car at all.

[GreatKazu]

3 hours ago, CofCinci said:

Amber also has the time and money available to attend college, if she wanted a professional career. Dependent on the industry, having a felony is not a barrier to employment. 

True. My cousin's wife served time in prison for a white collar crime. It was two felony charges. She recently acquired employment by being honest to the employer during her interview. Not that the employer wouldn't find out, but she informed him of what he would find when he checked her background. There are employers who are willing to take a chance on people regardless of their past. Butch is another example.

1 hour ago, Snarky McSnarky said:

I would have killed for a nice Camry or Odyssey type vehicle when I was a single parent driving around in a shitwagon.  It is more important for these women to impress total strangers than to invest their MTV money in a way that will pay dividends for the rest of their lives. 

I agree.

You know, it wouldn't bother me to see any of these girls with $30k car. My issues have to do with the fact they buy a new car every season! At least Chelsea had her Jeep for at least six years. Leah has been shown with at least four new vehicles. Kail is another car-hog. The second thing that kills me is that Amber spends all this money on new cars, BUT SHE WON'T PAY CHILD SUPPORT!! That is the shit that kills me. If the bitch paid her child support, did everything to make sure Leah was her priority, provided a clean and healthy environment for her child and was in school or working at a part-time job, then by all means go for the expensive car and use it for at least five years! Don't even get me started on Cate and Tyler. Dumbasses.

These girls are just splurging on the Yeezy shoes, the $200 purses, vacations every six months, tattoos, attorney's fees, drugs, alcohol, pets, pets, and more pets etc. Then, there is Leah who has had legal issues, drug issues, and a slew of other issues, her money is being spent faster than it comes in. Kail is also spending money like it is going out of style. Hold back on the spending and if you have to splurge, let it be a home and a car. Invest the rest and save.

Edited September 12, 2016 by GreatKazu

[Elizabeth9]

4 hours ago, MissMel said:

Felons who want to work, can. It's not necessarily hard work either. Habitual offenders have a harder time though. For two reasons; 1. They generally only pursue easy money and 2. Employers need steady, reliable employees that care to show up. It's hard to give a habitual offender a chance because of their track record.

One time offenders, aka made a huge screwup but genuinely trying to do better, are easier to give/get a second chance opportunity. At this point, Amber falls into this group. If there was no Mtv in her life, I think she could have found ample employment just out of prison. There are plenty of steady jobs that don't require a person to handle money or intense labor. Construction supplies and services, practically everything automobile related, churches, etc. The biggest requirement is showing up and being productive on your shift. Hell, if a person needs more flexible work hours, become an Uber driver. Or parts/errands driver. "Where there's a will, there's a way." I think Amber could have and would have done this without Mtv in her life after prison. Or "jel" as she likes to call it. Matt, on the other hand, wouldn't even bother. 

I have a ton of experience in re-entry with a variety of circumstances.  I'm just going to agree to disagree- it's been my experience that felons not very employable.  

Either way, Amber is still a jackass- that's the take home message here.

2 minutes ago, Elizabeth9 said:

I have a ton of experience in re-entry with a variety of circumstances.  I'm just going to agree to disagree- it's been my experience that felons are not very employable.  

Either way, Amber is still a jackass- that's the take home message here.

[DoctorWhovian]

I agree that it is hard to get a job as a felon, but I think we need to really adjust that. People who get out of jail (remember, a felony is a crime that carries a maximum possible sentence of more than a year, thus even if the sentence is less, they are still a "felon") need to be able to work and be integrated back into society, else they will never support themselves and likely reoffend (recidivism rates are quite high in the US, 2/3 reoffend within 3 years, and 3/4 within 5 years http://www.nij.gov/topics/corrections/recidivism/pages/welcome.aspx). Regardless, having committed a crime, being convicted, and serving your time, should not be a life sentence into unemployment. I have a felon in my family (young, hanging out with the wrong people, it turned him around), and he now works for the state in a fairly public position.

Amber is in the fortunate position that she has a job that does not care (I know it's controversial calling it a job, but girl makes 6 figures, it counts as long as that paycheck comes in), but she should be using it to put herself in a better place to be hired after (training, volunteering, even getting a job just for the show for some kind of experience). 

[poopchute]

I just can't see Amber having and keeping any job, even without the criminal record.  She seems pretty dumb first of all.  Can she read or write?  And then she's lazy.  Does she seem like someone who can meet a deadline?  Can she even show up on time?  Every day?  Finally, she has a fucking terrible attitude and sense of entitlement.  I can't see her listening to a boss and not mouthing off if she ever had to be reprimanded for something.  She has terrible communication and coping skills.  I just can't even name one job I think she could do.  Anything dealing with the public, no.  Anything physical, no. Anything that requires a degree, no. Data entry?  Maybe.  But probably not.

[Elizabeth9]

Yeah...I agree, it shouldn't be a life sentence.  

If I was Amber, I'd be setting myself up for the future- so I'd have income despite being able to find a job or not find a job.  Me, I'm into rental properties, but everyone invests how they see best fit.  I'm imagining in her part of the country, she could get several houses at a steal that are in foreclosure or delinquent on taxes, and she could make it so she has an income coming in each month for the rest of her life.  

Lit just bothers me to see the idiots squander such a great opportunity.  I mean, an Escalade?  That's one house right there (if not more) in the Rust Belt.

[SPLAIN]

Sadly, the laws have made some minor crimes felonies.  The guy selling pounds of marijuana gets more time than the child molester.

35 minutes ago, poopchute said:

I just can't see Amber having and keeping any job, even without the criminal record.  She seems pretty dumb first of all.  Can she read or write?  And then she's lazy.  Does she seem like someone who can meet a deadline?  Can she even show up on time?  Every day?  Finally, she has a fucking terrible attitude and sense of entitlement.  I can't see her listening to a boss and not mouthing off if she ever had to be reprimanded for something.  She has terrible communication and coping skills.  I just can't even name one job I think she could do.  Anything dealing with the public, no.  Anything physical, no. Anything that requires a degree, no. Data entry?  Maybe.  But probably not.

I agree.

[mamadrama]

2 hours ago, Elizabeth9 said:

Yeah...I agree, it shouldn't be a life sentence.  

If I was Amber, I'd be setting myself up for the future- so I'd have income despite being able to find a job or not find a job.  Me, I'm into rental properties, but everyone invests how they see best fit.  I'm imagining in her part of the country, she could get several houses at a steal that are in foreclosure or delinquent on taxes, and she could make it so she has an income coming in each month for the rest of her life.  

Lit just bothers me to see the idiots squander such a great opportunity.  I mean, an Escalade?  That's one house right there (if not more) in the Rust Belt.

I totally agree. I live fairly close to Amber. We are not neighbors but live in places where the economy is similar. There are currently five houses for sale in my town, all under $50,000. They need work, of course, but for another $50,000-75,000 would be nice. A few of these as rental properties and you'd have a nice little income going. 

[starfire]

14 hours ago, MargeGunderson said:

In Amber's case, it's absurd since she's spending 90% of her waking hours on her nasty couch. She barely needs a car at all.

Very true. Who needs a Range Rover and an Escalade to pick up pizzas, eat out in diners, and go through the Anderson, Indiana McDonald's drive-thru a few times a week?

[MyPeopleAreNordic]

8 hours ago, starfire said:

Very true. Who needs a Range Rover and an Escalade to pick up pizzas, eat out in diners, and go through the Anderson, Indiana McDonald's drive-thru a few times a week?

Come on, now, you know they have their pizza delivered.  They aren't leaving the couch unless they have to.

Edited September 13, 2016 by MyPeopleAreNordic

[DNR]

When I opened Google up this morning I immediately thought of Amber in her Hollywood head scarf in Boston lol 

[ginger90]

The first couple of tweets at the moment link to interviews Amber has done. In one of them she says "My life stops when I'm depressed". That doesn't suggest to me that she is aware there is a difference between being depressed and suffering from depression. But, it's Amber.

https://mobile.twitter.com/amberlportwood?lang=en

[GreatKazu]

Amber gave an interview to Cosmopolitan (WTF?) and defends (again) Matt about his tweets to Jenelle and Farrah:

http://starcasm.net/archives/357810

From the article:

I swear to God, that man … He’s just an older man who doesn’t want to admit that he watched Teen Mom because all of his friends would be like, “You’re such a freaking wussy.”

More like a dirty, old pervert.

[Brooklynista]

What about the part that he was hitting all of the other girls up on Twitter and she her dumb ass was the only one that bit. Oh, and him lying about it.

[MargeGunderson]

Right, like Matt has friends.

[Cabarb]

I don't believe any of her bullshit about the reasons they canceled their October wedding.  They didn't do it because Matt's a low-life con man.  They didn't do it because Amber's depressed.  They did it because Maci is getting married in October and they don't want to "compete" with her wedding special.  They want to postpone it so they can get their own fairy-tale MTV sponsored shindig.  Because they're all greedy assholes who would all be living under bridge overpasses if they had to actually go out and get real jobs and support themselves.