S07.E04: Pressure or Paradise

[calpurnia99]

20 hours ago, Amy Beth said:

I’m still trying to figure out what kind of warrant gets you detained at the airport. No airline i’ve ever flown has checked for local warrants. Maybe the no fly list and federal crimes, but a comprehensive list of all outstanding state and local warrants? No way.

Yes they run your passport through customs now and all arrest warrants show up. I watched a Neflix show called Border Patrol it's very common to check for any warrants for anything from anywhere. They were going to Mexico, all the border patrol has all the arrest warrants in the computer.

Also I didn;t real the other thread but this voice of Danielle is horrible. I cannot stand this horrible vocal fry, it's worse than Amber's fried hair.

I also don't get the story. The credit card fraud charges could be identity theft. The stalking would be someone filed charges against her, but it was actually someone using her name. In that case, SHE WOULD NOT KNOW THE GUY! First she said I never heard of this guy, then she says she knows him a little. LOL and I agree her body language was off she totally seemed lying. If you really got detained and it really was a total mistake, you would be hysterical! She was so calm, such a liar. 

[humbleopinion]

I was going to commend Bobby for going against his soyboy tendencies, pulling up his brave boy board shorts when Danielle expressed her fear of heights as they descended into the cenote.

 Bobby lucked out that she was more fraidy than him and expressed it, even though I would have liked to see him clinging to her murmuring mommy...mommy...mommy as they climbed down the stairs...

 Pretty bold of our little man sharing an inner tube face to face with Danielle in the water...

if you have never taken a swim in a cenote...the water is freshwater and feels very good in the hot and humid climate of Cancun...

Wonder what lame excuses the producers gave the couples when they questioned where the 3rd couple were?

They got held up...

Last I heard they were at the airport...

A family emergency...

They missed their flight...

Hope cameras are rolling when they drop the real reason why Tristan and Mia were no shows... 4 spit takes of margaritas flying onto their nachos....

[KateHearts]

Why does everyone equate "Southern" behavior with wanting his wife to stay home? There are plenty of Northerners or West Coasters, I'm sure, who would prefer their wives stay home with the kids.  I live in the South and there are, conversely, plenty of working mothers (of which I am one.)

[calpurnia99]

Expert: This could be a great launching pad for transparency so use this to your benefit!!!!! WTF does that mean? Uhm wll now that I was mistakenly arrested, tell me about your past?

Also I rewatched these scenes with her, it says that she used her ex boyfriends credit cards to charge things, the guy she was stalking. How can that be a mistaken identity? Someone posing as her used his cards? His cards were used without his permission, so if it was some other person using her name...it makes NO Sense! Her body language and words are of a liar. She says "none of this is true, actually, and I THINK that's why they let me go"...LMAO when he says it says here you bought him a present with his credit card? Like why would report that then making the assumption that the whole thing is silly.. It sounds like she is defending herself  more like this WAS her boyfriend but she claims she didnt do these things. This is more  like her defense than saying I never heard of this guy, someone else did these things using my name...

The charges were dropped which means they worked out a deal with him. They offered him something to drop the charges, it doesnt mean she didn't do it. OMG how dumb do they think we are?

Edited July 25, 2018 by calpurnia99

[KateHearts]

I rewatched the wedding night episode (how many times can they dissect and re-piece this stuff together for yet another show?) and heard Amber say, "Dave ticks all my boxes." (a phrase I dislike anyway). How could you possibly know that???? It's just as maddening as the previous seasons when, after their short marriages, the couples say, "we've been through everything together; so I know we can make it."  How much can Amber know from meeting Dave at the altar and getting drunk with him and her friends?  That he's tall?  He can speak in complete sentences?  And even after the eight or however many weeks, these people have not had normal, everyday lives with "all the ups and downs -"  talk to me in ten years after pregnancies, illnesses, money issues, and 1500 loads of laundry and tell me about it.

[stuckin60s]

Dont forget Mia has a different name on the warrant

[humbleopinion]

Ameea Janice Bally ...America's Most Wanted

[princelina]

10 hours ago, red12 said:

I understand your point about Dave. But, I don't think anyone would be that excited to find out after sleeping with someone that they slept with a creepy acquaintance of yours and withheld the information until after sleeping with you. Regardless of gender, that is a crappy thing to do. If the situation were reversed and Dave withheld this info from Amber until after he had sex with her, he would not be able to live it down with viewers.

I thought they showed them giggling in the morning about having "used the outdoor shower"/had sex the night before, then followed it with them on the basketball/tennis courts with her saying, "Remember that conversation we had the other night about me dating your friend? I hope it's not going to cause problems for us" and followed that with Dave saying had he known beforehand he would have backed out.  Because I thought at the time - "If you felt that way why did you have sex with her last night?"  Bad editing?  Producers trying to create drama?  Who knows.

Very weird that when Mia is carted away, Tristan is taken to a hotel room where he has to sit while producers find out what happened.  Then Mia is released into the hands of producers, who put her in another hotel room to talk to experts, before she is allowed to skip down the hall to hug her "husband".  Why would law enforcement deal with someone's producer but not her spouse?  And frankly, had I been in her shoes I would have called my dad.

Danielle's eyebrows are tattooed on under her real eyebrow hair, I believe.  My sister had a year of chemo and wasn't happy with her eyebrows after that, so she had it done.  She is darker than Danielle and looks normal now, but she did have an "Uncle Leo" look for the first week or 2 :). I bet Danielle had it done to be on tv and it's not wearing off as quickly as she might have thought!  (They are supposed to last @5 years). I felt that the SAHM conversation was like the one between Ashley and Anthony about her changing her name - just a regular conversation that the producers are trying to wring for every bit of drama they can.

[humbleopinion]

A Seinfeld shout out!

[Neurochick]

Re Tristan and Mia:

I believe the producers told Tristan that he'd look like an ass if he wanted to divorce Mia right now.  Tristan probably knows how shit can be edited to make him look like a heel and Mia, an angel. 

I believe this because of what happened when Heather pulled the plug; that season was a snoozefest with only two couples. 

They wanted Tristan and Mia to stay...for now, of course if he sees a picture of her mugshot, then he can storm out, want a divorce, etc; the show will get the drama they want and Tristan will look like a hero.

[aphroditewitch]

23 hours ago, seacliffsal said:

I think the producers had quite a discussion with Tristan-far more than we saw.  Also, it's rich of the one "expert" to use the two-sides of every story approach with Tristan.  There are usually many, many sides to every story, but only one truth to the story.  However, Tristan lost me when he said that he was trusting God through this as I believe that God exposed Mia and her lies to Tristan before they consummated the marriage and went on the honeymoon.  This seemed more like 'I'm going to stop you now before you get into trouble' and Tristan just didn't realize it.  

The producers also seem to have gotten another "Molly" type.  Going to the lagoon Danielle stated that she was adventurous but afraid of heights.  Maybe the producers need to define what "adventurous" actually means for next season's participants.  She had also stated that she wanted a Southern man with conservative values, but then when she gets one (i.e. the stay at home discussion), she balks at it.  Again, I think the words she uses don't mean what she thinks they mean... However, having said that, I have lived in the South for 9 years now and know very few stay at home moms as most couples seem to have both spouses working.

I know that Dave is catching a lot of heat for having said that if he had known who Amber was before the wedding he would have dropped out.  But, we don't really know what his friend said about her.  She may have stalked him or done something else that set up red flags.  I'm enjoying her (but, like others, wish she would lose the extensions) so far and have hope that they will make it.  Dave really should tell us what it is he heard about her.

This could become one of the juiciest seasons yet.  

I doubt the producers would ever stop anyone from doing something if it means the show gets more press because of it. There is no doubt in mind that they had a long discussion with him and made sure he was going to keep going with Mia and the drama.

It is a bit early to write Danielle off. Adventurous is not limited in meaning. And in her case she did continue down to the water after having a breather. With the cost of living increasing faster than salaries it is not realistic for most families to have a one income household. 

Based on what I've seen, Dave should take what his friends say about women with a canister of salt. So far Amber hasn't done much to deserve the criticism being aimed at her. 

Edited July 26, 2018 by aphroditewitch

[gonecrackers]

1 hour ago, humbleopinion said:

Wonder what lame excuses the producers gave the couples when they questioned where the 3rd couple were?

Honestly this whole thing stinks as in major production playing going on - I thought the questioning among the other couples as to where they were sounded very fake & like they were trying to act; Dave in particular did a very bad job.

They knew something & were gagged.

[humbleopinion]

https://www.onecountry.com/lifestyle/28-southern-gentleman-traditions-that-still-apply-today/

We will see if Bobby stays a Southern gentleman when the hollering starts......

[PityFree]

I thought that Dave wasn’t bad looking when they first showed him, but now I can’t get past his awful teeth. They impact his speech so I wonder why he hasn’t had them fixed. Maybe it was an injury from something like a car accident?  If it’s fixable and he makes decent money at his job, I’m left to wonder why he concentrate so much on his body at the gym and then lets his teeth cancel that out.

Yes I do understand that not everybody has the money for dental work.  I also understand that teeth are not a priority for everyone.  Dave seems to value his appearance a lot though - otherwise why would he spend every single day at the gym.

[humbleopinion]

If you look at the wedding ceremony  you can see his upper front teeth are small and dingy...

He hides his tiny teeth with his upper lip when he smiles... a practiced maneuver.

Some veneers to balance his smile would make him look better....

[OnTime]

13 hours ago, GBPackersfan said:

Bobby...is it just me, every time I see him, I think he is one of John Boy Walton's brothers. He looks like a Walton to me

He just looks so young to me.

I think he is 26 or 27 but I'd believe 20.

[crazychicken]

3 minutes ago, OnTime said:

He just looks so young to me.

I think he is 26 or 27 but I'd believe 20.

I swear his voice cracked on the honeymoon so I see a 13 year old and then got squicked out when he kissed Danielle.

[JAndy]

13 hours ago, humbleopinion said:

JamieO was in camera hogging mode last night...it startled the guests but not the faithful viewing audience how much she was steering the conversation towards herself....

Jamie, new viewers don't know and old viewers barely remember Doug so quit with inserting yourself into every situation of the current season...your act of being horrified about your stranger husband has worn thin...

Why Bobby isn't the new Anthony D'Amico?

Why don't we love the aw shucks Bobby and his wry humor as we did Mr. Petta-D'Amico?

Why isn't the audience happy, happy for Bobby and Danielle?

Because we know something isn't sitting right...what is it?

Bobby is torn between being a macho, outdoors man, duck hunter with Daddy and being an attentive obedient son to Mother....

 Bobby...grab the wheel of the bus...Danielle told you flat out she doesn't want to be the sexual aggressor...she wants you to gallop up on the white steed , sweep her off her feet, and  ride her off the the marital bed....your buddies sold you out as a wuss to your bride at the reception so reverse that while you can.....

Took a hard look at Danielle's eyebrows and decided they look like they appear to been cut out of my brown bath mat and glued over her eyes.

Their density  and crisp boundary lines means Danielle must maintain them scrupulously or all hell will break loose.....

I think Anthony is more endearing and genuine. I certainly liked him better.

[Yeah No]

5 hours ago, seacliffsal said:

I know that Dave is catching a lot of heat for having said that if he had known who Amber was before the wedding he would have dropped out.  But, we don't really know what his friend said about her.  She may have stalked him or done something else that set up red flags.  I'm enjoying her (but, like others, wish she would lose the extensions) so far and have hope that they will make it.  Dave really should tell us what it is he heard about her.

I know, why assume Dave is being a MCP (male chauvanist pig) when he may have good reason to say that?   I'm giving him the benefit of the doubt on this, especially since Amber has only made herself look sheepishly guilty over it.  She hasn't been standing up for herself and bravely proclaiming that he has no reason to feel that way.  Quite to the contrary, she is acting ashamed and fearful that he will hold it against her, like she knows she did something irresponsible or trashy and he has her number.  And him saying he would have dropped out had he known it  is makes me think he had some compelling reason that wasn't just based on hearsay or gossip from one guy.  He doesn't strike me as the kind of guy that wouldn't give her the benefit of the doubt and know when something is just some previous boyfriend's sour grapes over being dumped, or something equally as unfair to pin on her.

[answerphone]

What if the new husband, rather than the wife, was the one who was arrested for stalking?

Would the producers be more cautious?

OJ stalked his ex-wife.

Think about it.

[scruffy73]

What person steals another’s identity to stalk someone else?

just doesn’t happen. Ever. Even Tristan doesn’t deserve this. He deserves better than what the show is offering. I 100% believe they are coercing him to stay married. Even hopeless romantic/God has a plan Folks know this is that bullshit. I can’t wait to see what he discovers as the lie.

Why can’t we see a clip of her calling her daddy and daddy completely losing his shit? Forget Tristan. I want to see pops flip his lid.

[aphroditewitch]

31 minutes ago, answerphone said:

What if the new husband, rather than the wife, was the one who was arrested for stalking?

Would the producers be more cautious?

OJ stalked his ex-wife.

Think about it.

No, they would not care. They cast David for both season 3 and Second Chances despite knowing that he had been arrested for domestic violence. He also lied about it when people found out and then the police report directly contradicted him.  And there was also the sketchy past of Ryan DeNino in season 2 who actually had a different last name. The show has proven repeatedly that the safety of participants is not something they are concerned about. 

[crgirl412]

8 hours ago, princelina said:

I thought they showed them giggling in the morning about having "used the outdoor shower"/had sex the night before, then followed it with them on the basketball/tennis courts with her saying, "Remember that conversation we had the other night about me dating your friend? I hope it's not going to cause problems for us" and followed that with Dave saying had he known beforehand he would have backed out.  Because I thought at the time - "If you felt that way why did you have sex with her last night?"  Bad editing?  Producers trying to create drama?  Who knows.

Very weird that when Mia is carted away, Tristan is taken to a hotel room where he has to sit while producers find out what happened.  Then Mia is released into the hands of producers, who put her in another hotel room to talk to experts, before she is allowed to skip down the hall to hug her "husband".  Why would law enforcement deal with someone's producer but not her spouse?  And frankly, had I been in her shoes I would have called my dad.

Danielle's eyebrows are tattooed on under her real eyebrow hair, I believe.  My sister had a year of chemo and wasn't happy with her eyebrows after that, so she had it done.  She is darker than Danielle and looks normal now, but she did have an "Uncle Leo" look for the first week or 2 :). I bet Danielle had it done to be on tv and it's not wearing off as quickly as she might have thought!  (They are supposed to last @5 years). I felt that the SAHM conversation was like the one between Ashley and Anthony about her changing her name - just a regular conversation that the producers are trying to wring for every bit of drama they can.

I love Uncle Leo!!  That was a good episode- but weren't they all????

8 hours ago, humbleopinion said:

A Seinfeld shout out!

I LOVE a Seinfeld shout out!!! 

[gonecrackers]

9 hours ago, crazychicken said:

I swear his voice cracked on the honeymoon so I see a 13 year old and then got squicked out when he kissed Danielle.

They don't look right together; almost looks like he's with his older sister. Her eyebrows make it worse.

9 hours ago, Yeah No said:

I know, why assume Dave is being a MCP (male chauvanist pig) when he may have good reason to say that?   I'm giving him the benefit of the doubt on this, especially since Amber has only made herself look sheepishly guilty over it.  She hasn't been standing up for herself and bravely proclaiming that he has no reason to feel that way.  Quite to the contrary, she is acting ashamed and fearful that he will hold it against her, like she knows she did something irresponsible or trashy and he has her number.  And him saying he would have dropped out had he known it  is makes me think he had some compelling reason that wasn't just based on hearsay or gossip from one guy.  He doesn't strike me as the kind of guy that wouldn't give her the benefit of the doubt and know when something is just some previous boyfriend's sour grapes over being dumped, or something equally as unfair to pin on her.

I was pissed when he stood there telling her he 'wasn't mad' at her, as if she needed forgiveness for some infidelity.  Get over yourself dude.  I was annoyed she took that shit from him.

Edited July 26, 2018 by gonecrackers

[humbleopinion]

Telepathy happening....

Do you think Dave would be stressing if Amber found out he used to date someone she knew at their branch of Lifetime gyms?

Nope. Apologize to Amber about who he dated? Hell, no.

Even if Dave was the worst bf,  Amber would not hold it against him, in fact she would defend him because he was now her man.

Men like Dave who depend on their male friend group for emotional support are very much driven by what that friend group thinks about who they date.

So if Dave and Amber come back to Dallas and the friend group and their wives decide to circle Amber to defend her, announcing to the Dallas Douche gym dude and his clique that they accept Amber and her past unconditionally, the situation will be diffused.

The dude's power to trash talk Amber won't be tolerated, it will be seen as bullying and he will be silenced or driven to another gym...

This is what I hope happens for Amber.

She and Dave deserve a chance to connect without the whispers of gossip when they work out.

Her hair is tragic but it is a result of over processing her hair and does not make her a bad person.

Amber felt the need to get ahead of the gym gossip and could have used some kindness from her husband.

Dave is a selfish jerk for his comment of backing out when Amber told him of her ex....gonna be hard to walk back from comments like that back, Dave.

[seniorpatriot]

1 hour ago, humbleopinion said:

Telepathy happening....

Do you think Dave would be stressing if Amber found out he used to date someone she knew at their branch of Lifetime gyms?

Nope. Apologize to Amber about who he dated? Hell, no.

Even if Dave was the worst bf,  Amber would not hold it against him, in fact she would defend him because he was now her man.

Men like Dave who depend on their male friend group for emotional support are very much driven by what that friend group thinks about who they date.

So if Dave and Amber come back to Dallas and the friend group and their wives decide to circle Amber to defend her, announcing to the Dallas Douche gym dude and his clique that they accept Amber and her past unconditionally, the situation will be diffused.

The dude's power to trash talk Amber won't be tolerated, it will be seen as bullying and he will be silenced or driven to another gym...

This is what I hope happens for Amber.

She and Dave deserve a chance to connect without the whispers of gossip when they work out.

Her hair is tragic but it is a result of over processing her hair and does not make her a bad person.

Amber felt the need to get ahead of the gym gossip and could have used some kindness from her husband.

Dave is a selfish jerk for his comment of backing out when Amber told him of her ex....gonna be hard to walk back from comments like that back, Dave.

I don't have a problem with how Dave handled it. He was not upset that she had dated somebody he nows but rather that as he put it "When I see him now it will be in my face." Knowing the guy had slept with his wife and all. SO far I like Dave, but that Amber?? Uh ..no.

[humbleopinion]

Yep.

It will just gnaw at Dave and doom the relationship.

Decision Day can't come fast enough for Dave.

[gonecrackers]

I can understand Dave's feelings about it being 'in his face', as that is gonna suck. But his speech to her really leaned toward somehow having to excuse her behavior, as if she had done something wrong to him, when at the time she didn't even know him & is coming clean about it. So for that I'm WTF with his attitude.  But we'll see how this carries on between them or if it does at all.

Edited July 26, 2018 by gonecrackers
reword w/o so many commas

[Crazy Bird Lady]

21 hours ago, Yeah No said:

Normally I would give someone in that situation the benefit of the doubt, but the way Amber acted when she found out that Dave went to her gym had a very strong air of guilt to it, like she knew she was caught red handed.  If she didn't feel guilty why didn't she hit the issue dead on with him instead of sheepishly pussy-footing around it and asking if it wasn't "going to be a problem"?  Like say, "I hope you don't believe the rumors my nasty ex spread about me because they aren't true".  That kind of thing.  Also, I've been quite kind to her online so far, but Amber gives me slightly trashy vibes.  Like she's far more of a party/casual hook-up girl than anyone's pegged her for so far.

 

OK, so maybe she was in one of those relationships where the guy feels free to play around, but assumes the woman needs to be faithful or else she's "trashy". I admit, I do think it's "trashy" to engage in revenge sex when the person you're involved with cheats --the obvious thing to do would be simply end it-- but it's a common reaction.

Or, maybe she didn't consider them to be a 'committed' couple at all, but he did. So she continued having casual sex.

Lots of couples never really discuss at which point they're "committed". They just make assumptions. It's stupid, but extremely common. 

13 minutes ago, gonecrackers said:

I can understand Dave's feelings about it being 'in his face', as that is gonna suck. But his speech to her really leaned toward somehow having to excuse her behavior, as if she had done something wrong to him, when at the time she didn't even know him & is coming clean about it. So for that I'm WTF with his attitude.  But we'll see how this carries on between them or if it does at all.

Well said!!

[Crazy Bird Lady]

2 hours ago, humbleopinion said:

Telepathy happening....

Do you think Dave would be stressing if Amber found out he used to date someone she knew at their branch of Lifetime gyms?

Nope. Apologize to Amber about who he dated? Hell, no.

Even if Dave was the worst bf,  Amber would not hold it against him, in fact she would defend him because he was now her man.

Men like Dave who depend on their male friend group for emotional support are very much driven by what that friend group thinks about who they date.

So if Dave and Amber come back to Dallas and the friend group and their wives decide to circle Amber to defend her, announcing to the Dallas Douche gym dude and his clique that they accept Amber and her past unconditionally, the situation will be diffused.

The dude's power to trash talk Amber won't be tolerated, it will be seen as bullying and he will be silenced or driven to another gym...

This is what I hope happens for Amber.

She and Dave deserve a chance to connect without the whispers of gossip when they work out.

Her hair is tragic but it is a result of over processing her hair and does not make her a bad person.

Amber felt the need to get ahead of the gym gossip and could have used some kindness from her husband.

Dave is a selfish jerk for his comment of backing out when Amber told him of her ex....gonna be hard to walk back from comments like that back, Dave.

I really do hope the other wives/girlfriends will defend Amber, as it appears she needs to be defended. 

She should *not* need to be defended, however. She wasn't married then. She is married now. 

[Nancybeth]

Someone mentioned the size of the population in the Dallas metro area and why they couldn't find better participants.  I'm not sure Dallas was the best location for this show.  According to the demos I found, only 31% of the adult population in the DFW area are unmarried.  That's slightly below the national average, and also below states like NY and Mass.  People tend to marry younger in the South.  

I've never seen anyone who's been divorced on this show, no one with kids, etc.  So depending on how far they're pulling from geographically, you could end up with a fairly small dating pool.  

Apparently this show needs to go to DC, which has the highest population of never married adults in the US -- 56%!

[Empress1]

1 minute ago, Nancybeth said:

Someone mentioned the size of the population in the Dallas metro area and why they couldn't find better participants.  I'm not sure Dallas was the best location for this show.  According to the demos I found, only 31% of the adult population in the DFW area are unmarried.  That's slightly below the national average, and also below states like NY and Mass.  People tend to marry younger in the South.  

I've never seen anyone who's been divorced on this show, no one with kids, etc.  So depending on how far they're pulling from geographically, you could end up with a fairly small dating pool.  

Apparently this show needs to go to DC, which has the highest population of never married adults in the US -- 56%!

I read an article in which Pastor Cal said they always rejected participants with kids, and rightfully so IMO. If I were divorced and had kids with my ex and he announced he was going on TV and marrying a stranger, we would be revisiting the custody arrangement for a while until I got to know the STRANGER that would now have access to my children - particularly since odds are good that the person will only be in their lives for a short time, given the show's track record. Can you imagine if Tristan had had kids and then found out about Mia's situation? It's way too messy.

45 minutes ago, Crazy Bird Lady said:

I really do hope the other wives/girlfriends will defend Amber, as it appears she needs to be defended. 

She should *not* need to be defended, however. She wasn't married then. She is married now. 

I don't think she has anything to apologize for either. It's not like she knew she was going to marry someone who knew one of her exes. It's a coincidence; her past overlaps with her present. It happens. And given what @Nancybeth says about the dating pool, odds are good that their specific dating pool IS small. Anyone who has filtered on a dating site or app knows how quickly the dating pool starts to shrink. Bobby and Amber were both single at the same time but neither would be checking for the other, you know?

[Lovecat]

On 7/25/2018 at 9:26 AM, GBPackersfan said:

Bobby...is it just me, every time I see him, I think he is one of John Boy Walton's brothers. He looks like a Walton to me. But there is something creepy about him. Like a few years down the road, we will find out there are prostitutes tied up in the basement or something. There is something inherently creepy about him. 

He looks like he'd fit in with the Duggar clan.

[humbleopinion]

Jana Duggar is the right age for Bobby.

[scruffy73]

5 hours ago, Nancybeth said:

Someone mentioned the size of the population in the Dallas metro area and why they couldn't find better participants.  I'm not sure Dallas was the best location for this show.  According to the demos I found, only 31% of the adult population in the DFW area are unmarried.  That's slightly below the national average, and also below states like NY and Mass.  People tend to marry younger in the South.  

I've never seen anyone who's been divorced on this show, no one with kids, etc.  So depending on how far they're pulling from geographically, you could end up with a fairly small dating pool.  

Apparently this show needs to go to DC, which has the highest population of never married adults in the US -- 56%!

I live in DFW and I will say that dating sucks. Per an interview with Pastor Cal, there is a difficulty matching up black men and black women. Black men are open to, or even want, white women but it doesn’t appear that it necessarily swirls the other way. I am a 45 year old black woman -never married, child-free (not crazy) - and when I’ve been on Match and eHarmony, I’ve gotten more white men than black men. Only one has communicated...and I’ve put up really cute pictures :) Point being, it is hard out here for the mid-thirties and up in the DFW. Even those of us whose hair is not fried, died, and laid to the side. :)

[Stinamaia]

On 7/24/2018 at 9:06 PM, Amy Beth said:

I’m still trying to figure out what kind of warrant gets you detained at the airport. No airline i’ve ever flown has checked for local warrants. Maybe the no fly list and federal crimes, but a comprehensive list of all outstanding state and local warrants? No way.

A fugitive warrant goes to airlines, I believe. 

[StatisticalOutlier]

On 7/24/2018 at 8:19 PM, Empress1 said:

My mother had me (eldest of 2) at 30 and my brother at 34. A lot of my friends had their first in their early 30s. Everybody turned out fine.

Hell, I have a friend who had her first baby, a surprise, at 49, and everybody was fine.  Well, except her boyfriend, but that's a different story.

So ladies, it ain't over till it's over.  Be careful out there.

[rebel2u]

On 7/25/2018 at 7:31 PM, KateHearts said:

Why does everyone equate "Southern" behavior with wanting his wife to stay home? There are plenty of Northerners or West Coasters, I'm sure, who would prefer their wives stay home with the kids.  I live in the South and there are, conversely, plenty of working mothers (of which I am one.)

Thank you!!!!

[Blissfool]

A lot of you are griping about Dave's teeth. I can't stand AMBER's teeth!!!

 

I could be wrong, but I don't think the reason that Dave is having second thoughts about Amber is because she has been "slutty." I think it's just that it's AWKWARD that his buddy has seen her naked and has been sexual with her, his now-wife. It'd be awkward that his friend knows Amber's sexy nooks and crannies.  Sure, we all have our sexual history, but my history does not include my hubby's buddies. In a non-TV situation, Dave would probably withhold from dating one of his buddies' ex-girlfriends.

Edited July 27, 2018 by Blissfool

[Yeah No]

19 hours ago, gonecrackers said:

I was pissed when he stood there telling her he 'wasn't mad' at her, as if she needed forgiveness for some infidelity.  Get over yourself dude.  I was annoyed she took that shit from him.

See, I'm seeing it from the POV that Dave's attitude might be based on having heard about some nasty/unflattering and/or promiscuous behavior on her part from his gym buddy who happens to have dated Amber.  That's the benefit of the doubt I'm giving him, and why he was acting like she needed some kind of forgiveness.  If he's just acting that way purely over finding out his new wife dated his friend at the gym, then I'm with you.  But I suspect it's more than that.

[Yeah No]

16 hours ago, Crazy Bird Lady said:

OK, so maybe she was in one of those relationships where the guy feels free to play around, but assumes the woman needs to be faithful or else she's "trashy". I admit, I do think it's "trashy" to engage in revenge sex when the person you're involved with cheats --the obvious thing to do would be simply end it-- but it's a common reaction.

Or, maybe she didn't consider them to be a 'committed' couple at all, but he did. So she continued having casual sex.

Lots of couples never really discuss at which point they're "committed". They just make assumptions. It's stupid, but extremely common.

I'm thinking more along the lines that Amber's ex made her sound like a total bitch, crazy, or otherwise undesirable, not necessarily that she was unfaithful or otherwise "trashy", although it could have been that too.  If her ex told Dave she was running around on him behind his back, that would be enough reason for Dave to give her the side-eye, in my opinion.

[Yeah No]

19 hours ago, humbleopinion said:

Do you think Dave would be stressing if Amber found out he used to date someone she knew at their branch of Lifetime gyms?

Probably, if he knew that she also found out from her friend that dated him that he was a total jerk.  If he had cheated on Amber's friend, treated her like crap, etc., etc., and he knew Amber found out about it, he'd be a stressed about it, for sure.  And I don't know one woman that wouldn't see big red flags if their girlfriend dated a guy and then told them bad things about him.

[Crazy Bird Lady]

7 hours ago, Yeah No said:

I'm thinking more along the lines that Amber's ex made her sound like a total bitch, crazy, or otherwise undesirable, not necessarily that she was unfaithful or otherwise "trashy", although it could have been that too.  If her ex told Dave she was running around on him behind his back, that would be enough reason for Dave to give her the side-eye, in my opinion.

Yes, but I keep recalling who Dave brought with him to that 'family' outing. Clearly, his male "buddies" are very important to him, and it seems likely to me that he might believe what one of them says over what his own wife tells him. That would be despite the fact that 'exes' notoriously talk trash (and often exaggerations/lies) when they get together drinking and hanging out. Women do it too.

Edited July 27, 2018 by Crazy Bird Lady

[Yeah No]

1 minute ago, Crazy Bird Lady said:

Yes, but I keep recalling who Dave brought with him to that 'family' outing. Clearly, his male "buddies" are very important to him, and it seems likely to me that he might believe what one of them says over what his own wife tells him.

I keep thinking about this from the POV of being a woman in that situation, and if one of my good female friends warned me about a guy I'd take her word for it over his any day, especially if I just met him and don't know him from Adam.  I don't care if Amber is is wife, she's still a relative stranger.  When I was young I was in the situation of warning one of my good friends about a guy.  She didn't listen to me and paid the price.

[Crazy Bird Lady]

1 hour ago, Yeah No said:

I keep thinking about this from the POV of being a woman in that situation, and if one of my good female friends warned me about a guy I'd take her word for it over his any day, especially if I just met him and don't know him from Adam.  I don't care if Amber is is wife, she's still a relative stranger.  When I was young I was in the situation of warning one of my good friends about a guy.  She didn't listen to me and paid the price.

I've been in that position, as well, and the woman didn't listen to me either. But it does go both ways, because people talk trash and tell lies too.

People in love tend not to listen, regardless. Of course, that's not really the case here... they don't know each other well enough to be blindly in love, and that may be a major factor in Dave's response.

Perhaps it's sexist of me to say this --but I do think a man scorned is more likely to sex-shame an 'ex who dumped him than a woman is.

Edited July 27, 2018 by Crazy Bird Lady

[DrewPaul2010]

On 7/25/2018 at 8:33 AM, Neurochick said:

No one does through background checks, why?  Because it costs too much.  Places outsource it to the lowest bidder, and it's easy for things to fall through the cracks.  

I think Tristan was told by the producers that he'd look like a complete douchebag if he said he wanted a divorce this early.  They might not make the whole season though.  Remember Heather who wanted a divorce early?  That season was a snoozefest with only two couples.  

The other thing is that when folks are in a situation like that, they want to believe that the person is telling the truth, because it's easier than to believe they married a liar.  Remember, no one wants to upset the applecart.  

I also don't get why people slam the experts.  They give everybody what they ask for, but if you don't now what you really want, then no one can help you.  For instance, Tristan wanted a light skinned woman, VOILA, the experts gave him one, because when light skin is what you want, that's exactly what you get.  Another woman said she wanted a man with "Southern" values, well that's exactly what she got too.  I don't blame the experts any more than I blame the participants who really should watch old episodes of this show before agreeing to be on it.

They alternately slam and praise the experts. They should have a fourth couple ready to roll in the event of an early departure. I could download the form on MAFS but thus far been too lazy. I prefer to be 3-5 years older than the woman I date. I think most woman like having a younger age edge.

On 7/25/2018 at 4:18 PM, calpurnia99 said:

Yes they run your passport through customs now and all arrest warrants show up. I watched a Neflix show called Border Patrol it's very common to check for any warrants for anything from anywhere. They were going to Mexico, all the border patrol has all the arrest warrants in the computer.

Also I didn;t real the other thread but this voice of Danielle is horrible. I cannot stand this horrible vocal fry, it's worse than Amber's fried hair.

I also don't get the story. The credit card fraud charges could be identity theft. The stalking would be someone filed charges against her, but it was actually someone using her name. In that case, SHE WOULD NOT KNOW THE GUY! First she said I never heard of this guy, then she says she knows him a little. LOL and I agree her body language was off she totally seemed lying. If you really got detained and it really was a total mistake, you would be hysterical! She was so calm, such a liar. 

Upon reflection you're right about that she seemed quite nonchalant, not furious or threatening to sue anyone. Tristan has forgiven for now but he must be on alert.

[DrewPaul2010]

On 7/25/2018 at 4:18 PM, humbleopinion said:

I was going to commend Bobby for going against his soyboy tendencies, pulling up his brave boy board shorts when Danielle expressed her fear of heights as they descended into the cenote.

 Bobby lucked out that she was more fraidy than him and expressed it, even though I would have liked to see him clinging to her murmuring mommy...mommy...mommy as they climbed down the stairs...

 Pretty bold of our little man sharing an inner tube face to face with Danielle in the water...

if you have never taken a swim in a cenote...the water is freshwater and feels very good in the hot and humid climate of Cancun...

Wonder what lame excuses the producers gave the couples when they questioned where the 3rd couple were?

They got held up...

Last I heard they were at the airport...

A family emergency...

They missed their flight...

Hope cameras are rolling when they drop the real reason why Tristan and Mia were no shows... 4 spit takes of margaritas flying onto their nachos....

It looks like they didnt' say anything which may have been a wise choice. If they had said well one slipped through the cracks and was arrested at the airport for among other things stalking imagine the chilling affect that would have on the other two couples. I assume they are trying to have successful marriages. If they just wanted drama they could hook up some really unevenly matched couples and just watch the shock on their face when they see each other.  

On 7/25/2018 at 4:34 PM, calpurnia99 said:

Expert: This could be a great launching pad for transparency so use this to your benefit!!!!! WTF does that mean? Uhm wll now that I was mistakenly arrested, tell me about your past?

Also I rewatched these scenes with her, it says that she used her ex boyfriends credit cards to charge things, the guy she was stalking. How can that be a mistaken identity? Someone posing as her used his cards? His cards were used without his permission, so if it was some other person using her name...it makes NO Sense! Her body language and words are of a liar. She says "none of this is true, actually, and I THINK that's why they let me go"...LMAO when he says it says here you bought him a present with his credit card? Like why would report that then making the assumption that the whole thing is silly.. It sounds like she is defending herself  more like this WAS her boyfriend but she claims she didnt do these things. This is more  like her defense than saying I never heard of this guy, someone else did these things using my name...

The charges were dropped which means they worked out a deal with him. They offered him something to drop the charges, it doesnt mean she didn't do it. OMG how dumb do they think we are?

If the charges weren't dropped that would be obtainable information I would think.

[DrewPaul2010]

On 7/25/2018 at 5:23 PM, Neurochick said:

Re Tristan and Mia:

I believe the producers told Tristan that he'd look like an ass if he wanted to divorce Mia right now.  Tristan probably knows how shit can be edited to make him look like a heel and Mia, an angel. 

I believe this because of what happened when Heather pulled the plug; that season was a snoozefest with only two couples. 

They wanted Tristan and Mia to stay...for now, of course if he sees a picture of her mugshot, then he can storm out, want a divorce, etc; the show will get the drama they want and Tristan will look like a hero.

I think they're several facets and levels within this show. There is the business aspect that involves little more than ratings and sponsors. Those folks probably don't care what the show is. Then they're the people who actually work with the couples. I'm inclined to think they are more altruistic. They do want to help people find a suitable mate and from an ego standpoint they probably believe they can pick someone more suitable than the traditional means. I don't think it was unreasonable for them to take a wait and see approach. I would give a seemingly respectable woman at least a chance to explain herself. I probably would have racked her over the coals a bit more. I notice most folks when lying will get really defensive very quickly if their story is challenged. They will shift the issue to one of trust. As long as their story is being swallowed...they remain passive. He could have dropped the hammer when she admitted she knew one of the people in the so-called mistaken identity. I'm a skeptic.

[call me ishmael]

On 7/25/2018 at 8:33 AM, Neurochick said:

 

I also don't get why people slam the experts.  They give everybody what they ask for, but if you don't now what you really want, then no one can help you.  For instance, Tristan wanted a light skinned woman, VOILA, the experts gave him one, because when light skin is what you want, that's exactly what you get.  Another woman said she wanted a man with "Southern" values, well that's exactly what she got too.  I don't blame the experts any more than I blame the participants who really should watch old episodes of this show before agreeing to be on it.

Maybe because they claim...to be EXPERTS?  If you listen to them they insist that they use their tremendous knowledge and experience to ask complex and important questions and then thoughtfully put together couples who are fit for sucess.  Yet somehow, that doesn’t seem to work.  People may watch the show for the drama but the “experts”insist that that is not what they are looking for.  

[2727]

2 hours ago, call me ishmael said:

If you listen to them they insist that they use their tremendous knowledge and experience to ask complex and important questions and then thoughtfully put together couples who are fit for success.

I kind of miss Dr. Cilona with his "instruments" and festively piped lapels.