S06.E25: Secrets Revealed

[OnceSane]

Quote

Lisa learns about Lala's financial arrangement with her wealthy boyfriend; Jax celebrates his birthday with a hilarious game of trampoline dodgeball; Stassi, Katie, and Brittany try a new strategy to get over a hangover; Schwartz and Jax volunteer to build a house, but find manual labor isn't their strong suit; James sheds new light on his former romance with Lala; and Schwartz and Sandoval secretly meet up with Scheana's ex-husband.

[teapot]

I forgot about Secrets Revealed!  Yay more Vanderpump!  Holiday indeed!  *cheers*

[walnutqueen]

Juicy!

[JenE4]

Another episode?!? What secrets are left—other than perhaps what TYPE of pasta it was not about? Maybe we’ll find out that it actually took Rob 7 mins and 48 seconds to hang the TV. Scandalous! 

[ivygirl]

The Rob Montage... amazing.

Even Rachel kinda looks like, “I can’t take this stuff seriously” as Scheana natters on about how amazing her relationship with Rob is.

Edited May 29, 2018 by ivygirl

[tinaw]

Doesn't scheana realize how pathetic she looks, and sounds when she rambles on and on about rob?

Schaena he donesnt walk on water

[ivygirl]

It should go without saying, but Jax is a douche.

Jax: They should ask us WHY we cheat.

Schwartz: Why do you cheat?

Jax: I don’t want to talk about it.

Sorry, if you are cheating on me, I kinda don’t care why. If you’re unwilling to talk about the underlying issue beforehand, why should I be super sensitive about it afterwards? I know there are times to work things out, but Jax? If you’re gonna get all emo about it, at least make an honest effort to do so before you hook up with the next random chick.

[dosodog]

19 minutes ago, ivygirl said:

The Rob Montage... amazing.

Even Rachel kinda looks like, “I can’t take this stuff seriously” as Scheana natters on about how amazing her relationship with Rob is.

I believe and it's firm belief.  Unshakable. 

They could have filled EVERYTHING second of the 48 minutes of this show with Schaena saying Rob.

And none would be a duplicate. 

[nexxie]

Tonight’s show is quite entertaining. Tom’s modeling poses, happy girls’ nite out, and lots of other fun stuff.

Also loved the trampoline bday!

Edited May 29, 2018 by nexxie

[ghoulina]

Lala's mom AND man both pay her rent? What am I doing wrong in my life?

Why does she pour water in her vagina at night? What am I missing?

These guys just introduce me to do many new things - hangover IVs, bags with drinking spouts in them...what will they come up with next?

 

I was glad to see the guys still hang out with Shay. But how tacky of Scheana to make a dig about his penis.

Where was Rob when they were building that Habitat 4 Humanity house? If he was there, it would have been done in 14 minutes. 

 

Loved the accent talk! James was cracking me up with his "ornj". He'd die if he heard how my husband says it!

[ivygirl]

4 minutes ago, ghoulina said:

Where was Rob when they were building that Habitat 4 Humanity house? If he was there, it would have been done in 14 minutes. 

I had the sound down and a fan going but it sounded like Schwartz was referring to himself as Rob? I wish that was real but it’s probably a result of bad listening skills.

[rustyspigot]

I'm not sure how many actual secrets were revealed other than Lala and her water bottle.

And Sandoval is a St. Louis GQ model. Uh huh.

[WhosThatGirl]

Well Rob didn’t hang a tv in seven minutes or hitch a car,I’m real dissatisfied you guys. 

Edited May 29, 2018 by WhosThatGirl

[snarts]

43 minutes ago, rustyspigot said:

I'm not sure how many actual secrets were revealed other than Lala and her water bottle.

And Sandoval is a St. Louis GQ model. Uh huh.

...and Scheana let Rob backdoor her. 

[Rosiejuliemom]

Beach Sandoval was about 5000% more tolerable than regular Sandoval.

Actually, that whole beach party looked like a blast, as did trampoline dodgeball.

[WhosThatGirl]

4 minutes ago, snarts said:

...and Scheana let Rob backdoor her. 

Yeah, that’s something I never needed to know. Ever. Could have lived my life without that info.

And damn it producers, you make me learn that info I never wanted to know but you don’t give me a scene of Schena Naming hypothetical daughter and Rob just being there while it happens.

[Jets4274]

I think my highlight was the music video on the beach.  What makes this show great is that most of the cast members have relationships which started way before the show.

And Sandoval, the word is aperture, not armature for playing the trumpet:)

[hoodooznoodooz]

A fan wanted one of those gigantic wedding photos and paid for the shipping.

I am surprised Andy didn’t ask for one for the clubhouse.

Hee! Shay kind of felt bad for Rob!

[hoodooznoodooz]

Oh, I didn’t interpret that as backdooring Scheana. I thought it could have been oral sex. 

Huh. Scheana says to Rob, “You also said that you loved [the princess], but you never said you were in love with her.” Why does that sound familiar?

[WhosThatGirl]

7 minutes ago, hoodooznoodooz said:

Oh, I didn’t interpret that as backdooring Scheana. I thought it could have been oral sex. 

Huh. Scheana says to Rob, “You also said that you loved [the princess], but you never said you were in love with her.” Why does that sound familiar?

Either way, never needed to know it.

[Rebecca]

Raquel is a robot who needs an explanation as to the difference between ravioli, risotto and tortellini but it was, as she said, “obvious,” even to her, that Scheana moved on crazy fast with Rob. Raquel’s robot faces were everything listening to all that.

Scheana is soooo embarrassing. Every time I think she’s reached the upper most level of embarrassment she finds a new way to embarrass herself. 

Jax hasn’t changed in any real way. That’s just naive, imo. Give him a year, at most.

EDIT: I would’ve been fine without seeing any of the needle/injection scenes. I feel like the hangover IV people even thought all the alcohol talk during the IV was over the top and they deal with drunks.

Edited May 29, 2018 by Rebecca

[Rebecca]

42 minutes ago, hoodooznoodooz said:

Oh, I didn’t interpret that as backdooring Scheana. I thought it could have been oral sex. 

I will never believe that Scheana had never given a BJ before Rob. Even if she wasn’t into it I believe she would do it any way for the likes of Eddie Cibrian and John Mayer, at least. I took it as anal completely. I wonder how Rob feels about her sharing such intimate information? 

[rustyspigot]

7 minutes ago, Rebecca said:

Oh, I didn’t interpret that as backdooring Scheana. I thought it could have been oral sex.

I think she was just trying to provide a stupid sound byte and was trying to seem "wild". Anyways, no one cares or wants to know, SCHEANA.

[biakbiak]

1 hour ago, hoodooznoodooz said:

didn’t interpret that as backdooring Scheana. I thought it could have been oral sex. 

Scheana was 23 when she met Rob there is absolutely no chance she was referring to oral sex.

Stassi you mean vocabulary not vernacular.

I have turned on Schwartz because of his obvious issues but sometimes he still cracks me up and when he instantly responded to Shay having to move back home with an enthusiastic  “yo, keep that overhead low!” he reminded me of the Schwartz I used to like. 

Edited May 29, 2018 by biakbiak

[ScoobieDoobs]

Oh Sandoval, is there no end to your lack of ANY talent?  Mmmm, kay, so far we have:

Actor?  Horrible.

Model?  Meh.

Musician?  Laughably terrible.

Playing trumpet?  Ugh, painfully, painfully, painfully bad.

Er, but what about flat-ironing?  Passably decent.  Sandoval, better stick to flat-ironing, forehead-shaving & trampoline-jumping.

Anyone else notice when the girls were sharing about sex, the ONLY one NOT joining in that convo was Ari?  Hmmmm, wonder why . . .

Edited May 29, 2018 by ScoobieDoobs

[ivygirl]

1 hour ago, ScoobieDoobs said:

Oh Sandoval, is there no end to your lack of ANY talent?  Mmmm, kay, so far we have:

Actor?  Horrible.

Model?  Meh.

Musician?  Laughably terrible.

Playing trumpet?  Ugh, painfully, painfully, painfully bad.

Hey, don’t forget accents! Kinda fits in with acting—but then, it also kinda deserves a category of its own.

 

Quote

Anyone else notice when the girls were sharing about sex, the ONLY one NOT joining in that convo was Ari?  Hmmmm, wonder why . . .

At least we didn’t have to endure her talking about her terrible, awful, no-good, very bad genitalia this time...

[ghoulina]

8 hours ago, hoodooznoodooz said:

Oh, I didn’t interpret that as backdooring Scheana. I thought it could have been oral sex. 

Huh. Scheana says to Rob, “You also said that you loved [the princess], but you never said you were in love with her.” Why does that sound familiar?

Nah, I thought she was definitely implying she let him in the back door. The question is, was this first time Rob or second time Rob? A desperate attempt to keep second time Rob? It seems he was way more into HER the first time. 

But I totally had dejavu when she said that about his ex. Rob is weird, to me. I can't figure out his angle. 

[Robbie M]

James got his first genuine laugh from me when he said (about Rob) "he's not Iron Man he's f***** Rob Varlatta" I don't know if it was mispronouncing his name that made it so funny but I laughed for about five minutes.

[nexxie]

These “Secrets” episodes always prove that producers pick the most obnoxious drama to show us all season, leaving the fun stuff on the proverbial cutting room floor.

[yourmomiseasy]

11 hours ago, ghoulina said:

Lala's mom AND man both pay her rent? What am I doing wrong in my life?

 

So whoever said that Lala meant her actual mom when she said "Mama covers the overhead" or whatever it was about her rent was correct.

10 hours ago, Jets4274 said:

I think my highlight was the music video on the beach.  What makes this show great is that most of the cast members have relationships which started way before the show.

And Sandoval, the word is aperture, not armature for playing the trumpet:)

Actually, it's embouchure, which is what he said.  He's a douche, but if he played trumpet in marching band he probably got yelled at about his embouchure a lot and knows the word.  Those fools spend a lot of time buzzing into their mouthpieces to work on their embouchure.  

I enjoyed the various talking heads of James talking trash.  He's funny when he's not an asshole.  

The editors must hate Scheana.  (Just like everyone else)

Of course the douchelords have a big discussion about how the why of of cheating is what's important and not the actual cheating and the girls are too caught up on the actual cheating.  Assholes.

[ivygirl]

27 minutes ago, yourmomiseasy said:

MOf course the douchelords have a big discussion about how the why of of cheating is what's important and not the actual cheating and the girls are too caught up on the actual cheating.  Assholes.

“Forget my cheating. Let’s talk about why it’s your fault I cheated.”

Edited May 29, 2018 by ivygirl

[bichonblitz]

1 hour ago, nexxie said:

These “Secrets” episodes always prove that producers pick the most obnoxious drama to show us all season, leaving the fun stuff on the proverbial cutting room floor.

Agree. The Secrets show is always better than the original eppy's and the reunion. 

These girls crack me up, though. Stassi likes girl on girl porn and Brittney is Lala's type. 

[hoodooznoodooz]

10 hours ago, biakbiak said:

Scheana was 23 when she met Rob there is absolutely no chance she was referring to oral sex.

Stassi you mean vocabulary not vernacular.

I have turned on Schwartz because of his obvious issues but sometimes he still cracks me up and when he instantly responded to Shay having to move back home with an enthusiastic  “yo, keep that overhead low!” he reminded me of the Schwartz I used to like. 

Sorry, I didn’t do the math. You guys are right.

[hoodooznoodooz]

12 hours ago, Jets4274 said:

I think my highlight was the music video on the beach.  What makes this show great is that most of the cast members have relationships which started way before the show.

And Sandoval, the word is aperture, not armature for playing the trumpet:)

T.I.P.! Yay!!!

8 hours ago, ivygirl said:

Hey, don’t forget accents! Kinda fits in with acting—but then, it also kinda deserves a category of its own.

 

At least we didn’t have to endure her talking about her terrible, awful, no-good, very bad genitalia this time...

Clever movie title reference. Thank you.

14 hours ago, nexxie said:

Tonight’s show is quite entertaining. Tom’s modeling poses, happy girls’ nite out, and lots of other fun stuff.

Also loved the trampoline bday!

My favorite is, Stepping to the Left, but Someone Says Something to the Right.

 

11 hours ago, biakbiak said:

Stassi, you mean vocabulary, not vernacular.

And James, you mean syllable, not word. 

[WhosThatGirl]

I mean this episode was fun but I’m mad that the producers didn’t give us more of Schena acting like an idiot via Rob. You know they have it. Why wouldn’t they show it to me?? 

I do love that Brittany is the one who can bring all the women together. That’s kind of sweet, actually. Although in real time it should be noted that the gang hangs out a lot together. Minus Schena. All the couples seem to hang together a lot as of late. And yesterday it seemed they were all at Kristen’s for a Memorial Day bbq. 

Edited May 29, 2018 by WhosThatGirl

[jennylauren123]

14 hours ago, Jets4274 said:

I think my highlight was the music video on the beach.  What makes this show great is that most of the cast members have relationships which started way before the show.

And Sandoval, the word is aperture, not armature for playing the trumpet:)

From Merriam-Webster:

embouchure: the position and use of the lips, tongue, and teeth in playing a wind instrument

Sorry. I see this was already addressed.

Edited May 29, 2018 by jennylauren123

[jennylauren123]

4 hours ago, Robbie M said:

James got his first genuine laugh from me when he said (about Rob) "he's not Iron Man he's f***** Rob Varlatta" I don't know if it was mispronouncing his name that made it so funny but I laughed for about five minutes.

I use closed-captioning, and it read "Rob 'Varlatta'"--can't remember the exact spelling--when James mentioned him. Gave me a laugh, too! James can be very entertaining.

Edited May 29, 2018 by jennylauren123

[ghoulina]

3 hours ago, hoodooznoodooz said:

T.I.P.! Yay!!!

Touch in Public was the highlight of the episode. I was seriously bee-bopping on my couch with a giant grin on my face.

[WhosThatGirl]

Seriously I loved the group at the beach and when they all played dodgeball. It is little things like that like another poster said remind you that most of these people have a history and it’s why this show does work in a way.

And again... I have to say the gang has been hanging out a lot together.  The group all went to a saved by the bell party thing? I think it’s called savved by the max or something and they all dressed up in 90s fashion and all that, it was cute. And I know Instagram isn’t real life but still. Lala wasn’t a part of that but that was because I think she was in cannes with her boyfriend. She was at Kristen’s party yesterday with the gang though. I wonder what the drama is going to be next season though, maybe stuff with Schena and Lala and James? 

[teapot]

23 minutes ago, WhosThatGirl said:

Seriously I loved the group at the beach and when they all played dodgeball. It is little things like that like another poster said remind you that most of these people have a history and it’s why this show does work in a way.

And again... I have to say the gang has been hanging out a lot together.  The group all went to a saved by the bell party thing? I think it’s called savved by the max or something and they all dressed up in 90s fashion and all that, it was cute. And I know Instagram isn’t real life but still. Lala wasn’t a part of that but that was because I think she was in cannes with her boyfriend. She was at Kristen’s party yesterday with the gang though. I wonder what the drama is going to be next season though, maybe stuff with Schena and Lala and James? 

I love this crowd when they're real. 

Do you guys remember when Snooki & JWoww (stay with me, I'm getting somewhere) had their show & it was just kind of them growing up, getting engaged, getting married, having babies?

I'd be here for the same kind of thing with the VPR crew, they have enough of a history-entanglement that they don't need to manufacture drama for entertainment, and it'd be nice to watch them all grow up.

mind you, Snooki & JWoww reverted to idiots on the Jersey shore reunion (which we do not need. and which I am watching, because, obviously.) to give the people what they want & earn their dolla dolla bills while they still can, but...

[ivygirl]

1 hour ago, WhosThatGirl said:

And again... I have to say the gang has been hanging out a lot together.  The group all went to a saved by the bell party thing? I think it’s called savved by the max or something and they all dressed up in 90s fashion and all that, it was cute

It’s a Pop-up version of The Max! With booze! It looks fun.

[yourmomiseasy]

2 hours ago, WhosThatGirl said:

Seriously I loved the group at the beach and when they all played dodgeball. It is little things like that like another poster said remind you that most of these people have a history and it’s why this show does work in a way.

And again... I have to say the gang has been hanging out a lot together.  The group all went to a saved by the bell party thing? I think it’s called savved by the max or something and they all dressed up in 90s fashion and all that, it was cute. And I know Instagram isn’t real life but still. Lala wasn’t a part of that but that was because I think she was in cannes with her boyfriend. She was at Kristen’s party yesterday with the gang though. I wonder what the drama is going to be next season though, maybe stuff with Schena and Lala and James? 

According to Jax, James and Jax have started fighting again just in time for filming.  James was a dick to Brittany and it pissed Jax off (I guess only he can be a dick to Brittany).

 

5 hours ago, jennylauren123 said:

I use closed-captioning, and it read "Rob 'Varlatta'"--can't remember the exact spelling--when James mentioned him. Gave me a laugh, too! James can be very entertaining.

On top of saying Rob's name wrong, Iron Man just seemed so random to me.  I wish James was just always funny and didn't spend half his time being a giant asshole.

[Carolina Girl]

21 hours ago, nexxie said:

Tonight’s show is quite entertaining. Tom’s modeling poses, happy girls’ nite out, and lots of other fun stuff.

Also loved the trampoline bday!

After watching Tom's modeling montage, I now realize that "Zoolander" is a documentary......

[LibertarianSlut]

It was oddly satisfying to hear the plastic surgeon tell Jax that the effects of shrinking his jaw with Botox would be minimal. Three thousand miles to the east, you could hear Bethenny Frankel's nose grow while she simultaneously demanded a retraction 

[geauxaway]

21 hours ago, ScoobieDoobs said:

Oh Sandoval, is there no end to your lack of ANY talent?  Mmmm, kay, so far we have:

Actor?  Horrible.

Model?  Meh.

Musician?  Laughably terrible.

Playing trumpet?  Ugh, painfully, painfully, painfully bad.

Er, but what about flat-ironing?  Passably decent.  Sandoval, better stick to flat-ironing, forehead-shaving & trampoline-jumping.

Anyone else notice when the girls were sharing about sex, the ONLY one NOT joining in that convo was Ari?  Hmmmm, wonder why . . .

Lest you forget his costuming abilities.  He’s got a guy on speed dial!

And now my confession.  I downloaded T.I.P. off iTunes last year after Sandoval and Schwartz jamming out to it in the car.  I actually find it to be a catchy little song.  I will hang my head in shame. ?

[JenE4]

6 years and I can finally relate to a VPR event: My coworkers and I are just as bad at Habitat for Humanity. 

So it’s NOT about the pasta. It could potentially be about the risotto and James knew it wasn’t really pasta but didn’t know it was rice. But, I think we all know by now it’s about James being in love with Lala and jealous that he doesn’t have the money to keep her in the lifestyle to which she’s accustomed. I guess the secret revealed there is all of the kissing pictures. I suppose they had a much more extensive friends with benefits relationship than we (or at least I) knew. 

Speaking of Lala, I hope her mom stops giving her rent money after that reveal how she’s taking rent from mom and Herman and banking it. You want to milk your sugar daddy for all you can get, well, go for it, but don’t be taking money from mom when you’re a grown woman and don’t need it. Mom needs to save for retirement or whatever.

[aussieinsydney]

Producer to Scheana: "Did Rob take your virginity?"

Schean to Producer: "Well, not in my vagina!"

Fuck off bitch, I did not need to know that.

[politichick]

On 5/29/2018 at 1:41 AM, ScoobieDoobs said:

Oh Sandoval, is there no end to your lack of ANY talent?  Mmmm, kay, so far we have:

Actor?  Horrible.

Model?  Meh.

Musician?  Laughably terrible.

Playing trumpet?  Ugh, painfully, painfully, painfully bad.

Er, but what about flat-ironing?  Passably decent.  Sandoval, better stick to flat-ironing, forehead-shaving & trampoline-jumping.

Anyone else notice when the girls were sharing about sex, the ONLY one NOT joining in that convo was Ari?  Hmmmm, wonder why . . .

I don't think she is as close to the other girls as they are to each other and that's also not her style. And I don't blame her.

[backhometome]

Raquel seriously doenst know the difference between ravioli and risotto?

 

James seems to be in love with Lala and is bitter that she has her rich boyfriend to take care of her. At least thats the vibe I am getting. I did kinda enjoy Lala more last year when everyone hated her. So I agree with him on that.

 

I do think Lisa genuinely cares about these people. She calls them out but still cares at the end of the day what these assholes do to themselves. Also these assholes seem to genuinely like hanging out with each other. Like the beach party. 

[biakbiak]

23 minutes ago, backhometome said:

seriously doenst know the difference between ravioli and risotto?

Schena and James weren’t really clear either and one of them is a waitress.