Stassi Schroeder: Don't Fuck With Her Birthday

[Lisin]

Here's your Stassi topic.

[fliptopbox]

Anybody heard news of Stassi's so called fashion career? It must have tanked, and hard, if she's headed back to LA to be a part of the show.

[ExplainItAgain]

I'm fairly certain Stassi's only career will be "reality show has-been." Some people seem to make quite a living off this.

 

I hope everyone is taking this entire month of June to properly honor Princess Stassi's BIRTHDAY!! 

[Persnickety1]

Seriously, Bravo?  I love the snark she brings on VPR, but this doesn't even sound mildly entertaining nor particularly snarkworthy.

 

http://www.realitytea.com/2014/09/23/vanderpump-rules-star-stassi-schroeder-getting-spinoff/

 

 

 

Evil genius of reality TV Stassi Schroeder is about to become the next Ashton Kutcher! Rumors are swirling that Stassi has landed a Punk’d-style spinoff show on Bravo which will feature her pranking people!The project, working title ‘Vanderpump Rules Superfan’, will feature Stassi hosting a slew of female Vanderpump Rules fanatics  (aka Peter Madrigal lovers!) who will audition to become part of the notoriously addictive reality show by pulling off awesome pranks.

 

I think Stassi interning for a really demanding or batshit crazy employer (of the Jeff Lewis variety) could be totally watchable, but how many VPR "superfans" are out there as a demographic for this dreadful-sounding format?

 

Oy, Bravo...sometimes you make me hang my head in shame.

[OnceSane]

 

but how many VPR "superfans" are out there as a demographic for this dreadful-sounding format?

 

This sounds like a math problem.  I'll have to consult my mactor mathematician to solve it.

[heebiejeebie]

I'm wondering who is spreading these rumors?  Is it a rumor if it is about you and by you?  And define swirling?  Akin to 'buzz' or akin to turd that won't flush?  Lisa Vanderpimp tried making a trifecta with the remodel of the gay bar.  Didn't take.  Tried to get someone interested in the wine part of the family business and starring her over-chinned daughter and her vapid game show host wannabe hubby.  Last time I heard anything Cohen was considering it but I think if it was coming it would have made news by now.

 

In a way I almost hope it is true and makes it.  Because while it would feed an ego so aggressively out of control despite having not even the slightest b it of talent, grace or skill to encourage it, it would also be fun to watch this be the apogee of her career to be famous.  As it won't be a big drop when she slips from such a peak in normal terms, it terms of her ego I think it would deliciously tragic.  Plus I want to see any of Vanderpimp's attention trollopes try to pull attention away from that bedazzled Miss Kitty in pink.  Considering how venal and crass Lisa Vanderpimp is under that surface of spackle and goo, even if it benefits her monetarily if she can't be a part of it in front the cameras each show, I think she would feel her just due is being stolen from her if anyone she feels she initially brought to the stage now has her own dog and pony show. 

 

Then again Stassi and Lisa are a perfect match in hell.  Lisa can't trust her an inch not to try and eke her own way at the "expense" of Lisa and her show.  And Stassi I have to believe absolutely hates the fact that when all is said and done, no matter how many "The Hills' type scenes she plays out, Lisa is still the "star".

[Chrissytd]

VPR has superfans?

 

This sounds like a math problem.  I'll have to consult my mactor mathematician to solve it.

Mactormatician?

[Persnickety1]

VPR has superfans?

 

Mactormatician?

 

Of course they do.

 

With talent like this amongst the cast, they have to have superfans everywhere.  Nationwide.  Hell, globally.

 

 

Gawd, I can't wait for November 3rd and a new season full of snark.  

[psychoticstate]

This sounds like a math problem.  I'll have to consult my mactor mathematician to solve it.

 

Somebody call Ariana.  She's not a mactor but she is a self-proclaimed genius.

[fliptopbox]

Stassi is totally channeling her inner Ramona Singer. Her NYC stint didn't really do much for her style, except turn her into a 40 year old socialite. Not a good look!

[ScoobieDoobs]

OK, I have no idea how she's gonna make any money from this, but I kinda like her style.

 

http://stylebystassi.com/

 

Well, Courtney Kerr supposedly managed to turn her crappy blog into a money maker (if we're to believe her), So maybe Stasss can too.  The diff is Stassi's style is OK.  Not luving the jewelry all that much, but it's not bad.  Her hair looks nice & she overall looks pretty good.  She's also the right age to do this stuff.  Courtney?  Not so much.  

 

Courtney always bugged the fuck outta me cuz she thought she was just so stylish, but she never looked anything other than clumsy & unoriginal.  Courtney just looked like a suburban mom who went on a spending spree in some midwest mall with her husband's credit cards.  She alway looks too old for the trendy shit she wears in her blog & her hair is always painful-looking.  Not good.  BUT Courtney did do a few smart things that Stass should follow if she actually does wanna make money from her blog.

 

Courtney got several sponsorships from jewelry & clothing companies -- that she endorses on her blog by wearing their stuff.  Now I thought whatever crappy clothes & jewelry she wore in her blog looked horrible & she looked horrible in 'em.  But I'm not her audience.  Whoever her audience is, went to the sites of her sponsors & bought their shit.  So while I might think Courtney is annoying as hell & her hair looks awful & her style is clueless, her blog does (surprising as it is to me) make money for her & her sponsors.

 

So I would think if Courts could make money from her blog -- with her shitty/fugly sense of "style" -- maybe Stass could make money from hers, since she is younger & way better looking &  does have a decent sense of style & taste.  But you have to work at it & be ambitious.  I  may not like Courtney, but I give her credit that she seems willing to work hard & she does seem ambitious.  I don't get that sense from Stassi.  She seems lazy to me.  Dat's about the last thing you can be if you're running your own business.  This blog kinda seems like an after-thought to her.  Or maybe (in her mind) it's sorta an extension of Instagram.  

 

Stass is like all the chuckleheads on here.  Lazy, lazy, lazy.  I luv how they're all so proud of their laziness.  All of them.

Edited November 16, 2014 by ScoobieDoobs

[BogoGog24]

If Stassi's blog got enough hits, she could start putting advertising on her site, or as you mentioned, endorsements from other clothing and jewelry companies. 

[ScoobieDoobs]

She should mention it endlessly on the show, but she hasn't except that one time in passing to Lisa.  WTF?

[nenya]

She should mention it endlessly on the show, but she hasn't except that one time in passing to Lisa.  WTF?

Ha, you have endorsed it more than she does.

 

But I have a feeling she is content to be a lady who lunches before getting to that financial status. Say what you want about Lisa, it isn't just Ken that is putting in the hours in expanding their empire. Stassi is young, and has enough fame that she could start something more real, that has potential to last past the show. And honestly, at this age, and the fact that she can work, it doesn't make sense for her to be a kept woman. When she gets married, and they have kids, yes, stay home. That makes sense. But why not pursue any of your ambitions right now, especially when finances are obviously not a concern?

[ScoobieDoobs]

It really is puzzling.  She must have some ambition -- or why else would she even be on the show at all?  Unless both Lisa & Andy pursued her & threw a lot of money at her to appear this season.  She mostly seems like she doesn't want to be there.  It's weird.  She's acting like an heiress or some trust fund chick who doesn't have to worry bout earning a living.  That isn't who she is.  Unless her daddy is willing to financially support her endlessly or this boyfriend is keeping her, I don't get her lack of ambition to do anything with her life.

[nenya]

I absolutely agree with you. Unless she has some money source, or won some huge settlement with Bravo, it just doesn't make sense. (But maybe most of us actually have ambitions). She doesn't even add anything to the story anymore.

 

I think the problem is, the earlier reality show people could leverage their fame more easily into something. I do have to give some of them credit (like Lauren Conrad, who seemed to legitimately work hard). But I think for some of them, they had enough fans that anything they created ended up with a fan base and customers. But now, almost anyone can get at least a minute or two of fame, even ordinary people (between youtube videos and reddit and buzzfeed and all those sites, multiple things can go viral). Keeping the fame is the hard part. So why not take advantage of it while you have it?

[heebiejeebie]

I think there is a combination of things here.  First is her personality.  Stassi seems bent on acting as if she has achieved what she thinks she deserves.  She wants to be an influential fashionista.  She wants to be the smart witty talking head that takes her beyond the narrows confines of this little circus.  She wants to be a star.  I think like most narcissists she tends to apply magical thinking.  if she says something enough it will become so. 

 

Second is the fact that Stassi is way too dim to read the writing on the wall.  Considering how contrived everything is on the show and her age, I bet she is familiar with the Hills.  What she fails to see is that that show's powers that be were Lauren Conrad's family friends.  True friends.  Who wanted to see their special snowflake kids live out their dreams.  And for some it worked.  The "love triangle" from Laguna Beach have all managed to be celebrities and be "stars".  But is because they had the show behind them.  Conrad had smart parents who had very rich friends who all came together and did a remarkable job branding Lauren when she gave up trying to be an actress/fashion designer.   She seems to be happy being famous for being her plus whatever she can sell with her name on it.  But big money again was carefully thrown her way by people that cared about her well being.  Stassi does not have that.  If it gave Lisa Vanderpump a show on one of the big four networks and a guaranteed People magazine cover more than once a calendar year, Vanderpump would not only sell Stassi on the underground slave trade market, she would tied her up herself.  And Stassi does not get that.  She like all the others are a commodity that is there to be used and then thrown away the instant it grows stale.

 

Right now I suspect she is on the show as Lisa's straw horse. A way to oddly and in Bizarro world logic, try to sell the authenticity of the show by having one of the main cast not be wait staff at one of the restaurants.   Ironically this puts her under Lisa's power even more.  Lisa is so petty and vindictive for slights that Lisa pulls out of her ass like Hobby Lobby's mythical take on how birth control works, I can actually see the reason Stassi is back is so Lisa can pull the rug out from under her. 

 

Stassi's little jaunt to supposed stardom in NYC fails.  She comes back and is welcomed on the show.  but in a position that is very easy to make her jump hoops even faster and shoved off the cast even quicker. 

[ScoobieDoobs]

I did enjoy her laughing her ass off when told Jax is getting a nose job, in the upcoming preview. So she still serves a purpose on the show (barely), but it's becoming more & more of a stretch to fit her in. Cut the 'tude, Stassi, hun. It ain't gonna getcha anywhere. Unless ya dump ghost Patrick & find a billionaire. Good luck with that.

[turbogirlnyc]

Stassi is a famewhore so she doesn't need additional ambition. She's been on several other reality shows prior to VPR. But if she wants to work in the fashion industry, best of luck to her!

Edited November 19, 2014 by turbogirlnyc

[fliptopbox]

Stassi is a famewhore so she doesn't need additional ambition. She's been on several other reality shows prior to VPR. But if she wants to work in the fashion industry, best of luck to her!

Exactly. Being in the fashion industry (like really in it) takes work. It doesn't seem Stassi is willing to put forth any real effort beyond pulling some clothes and being photographed wearing each "look". And I guess she designed or collaborated with someone on a chunky necklace line (I guess she had to compete with Jax and his chunky sweaters) which I haven't bothered to research to see if it is doing well. But yes, for someone who's unemployed she sure seems to think it's perfectly cool to do little else besides drink and go to brunch. She's not suddenly Paris Hilton caliber wealthy, is she?

[ScoobieDoobs]

And while Courtney Kerr is not as young or good looking as Stass, cuz Courts is ambitious, she managed to get a job on a local show, in spite of mostly failing with Bravo.  Courts' blog was already doing fairly well, but being on Bravo helped her attract sponsors & in the end, consumers, so it was win-win for her, even tho she crapped out with Bravo.  Stassi could do the same -- and yet lazy, lazy, lazy Stass doesn't.  It really irks me that Stass is taking a golden opportunity & pretty much just chucking it away.  She's on a hit show on a national television network.  It's a perfect opportunity to push her blog.  And yet she doesn't.

 

I bet Bethenny would wanna take this lazy piece of shit & shake her or kick her in the head & tell her to wake the fuck up cuz this kinda opportunity comes but once in a lifetime.  And if ya fuck it up or miss it or throw it away as she's doing, ya regret it forever.  Is she heavily banking on ghost Patrick?  We haven't met him yet.  This dude is a major douchebag who has a long history of treating women horribly.  Um, will she be back slinging hash at SUR again?  She's as much of a loser as the rest of the chucklefucks there.  Well, anyhoo, thanks for providing the entertainment, Stass.

[fliptopbox]

Also, how is she paying for this new apartment without a job? Is Patrick (aka Sugardaddy)? Is Schroederbucks? There's no way Stassi could afford a place like that on her own in LA without some decent bank. VPR must pay well, but not that well. I'm also questioning whether Patrick is even in LA. Doesn't seem like it so far, since we haven't as much as caught a glimpse of him or anything that would indicate a guy was gonna be living there. Scoobie is right, she's also completely wasting her opportunity to promote her blog, her necklaces, or whatever the hell it is that she really wants to do besides be Lisa's food slave. I agree, Bethenny needs to have a businesswoman intervention with Stass, STAT. Hell, even Teresa Guidice was able to capitalize on her Bravolebrity status, and we all know she's not the brightest bulb on the tree. Ditto for the Manzos, there's a bunch of chucklefucks too. It's pathetic to say this but even Lauren Manzo has more of a career than Stassi does. So, she could really benefit to take a page from their books. Especially since it seems that her modeling career (or whatever it was, maybe more of a hobby?) is all but dried up. Unless Pandy asks her to do some shots for Divine Addiction, but who knows if that's even still a thing.

 

I'm pretty sure Schwartz is the only one of those wannabes who has a chance at developing a serious modeling or acting career that lasts more than a couple years, and won't disappear as soon as this show does.

[charmed1]

Stassi strikes me as one of those assholes who lives a couple of months in New York and then comes back and shits on everything and everybody as not being as cool as everything in NYC. "You pay $2,500 a month in rent? That's nothing compared to New York. Oh please, I'm not afraid of being hit while jaywalking into oncoming traffic. I lived in New York for six weeks. Oh believe me, you haven't had a hot dog until you've eaten a hot dog in New York."

[FozzyBear]

Stassi strikes me as one of those assholes who lives a couple of months in New York and then comes back and shits on everything and everybody as not being as cool as everything in NYC. "You pay $2,500 a month in rent? That's nothing compared to New York. Oh please, I'm not afraid of being hit while jaywalking into oncoming traffic. I lived in New York for six weeks. Oh believe me, you haven't had a hot dog until you've eaten a hot dog in New York."

Stassi strikes me as many types of asshole and that's one of them! To be fair, I bet she does this with everything not just NYC. She seems the type that becomes myopic and smug about whatever her latest thing is. I'll bet she's also one of those bitches that gets drunk all the time, but the one odd night that she doesn't feel like drinking it's all about "I can not believe everyone was guzzling booze like its a frat party. When are they going to grow up?!?!"

Edited November 25, 2014 by FozzyBear

[BogoGog24]

Want to know something sad? I found out during last season that Stassi and I share the same birthday (not the same year though).

[ExplainItAgain]

Stassi looks awful this year. That hair during her goat cheese ball conversation with Arianna was heinous. She's dressing like the president of the PTA.

[OnceSane]

Want to know something sad? I found out during last season that Stassi and I share the same birthday (not the same year though).

Do you also force least a week's worth of celebrations on your friends?

[BogoGog24]

Do you also force least a week's worth of celebrations on your friends?

 

Haha, no. I get somewhat excited for my birthday but not much. I don't consider the day of my birth the most important day of the entire year like *cough* some people *cough"

[Jennifersdc]

This was mentioned on a different board, but thought I'd put it here.

Mrs. Suburban Mom in Season 1 mentioned she went to an "exclusive" New Orleans high school. I went to no exclusive high school myself, but I did go to Tulane so probably unfortunately I do which ones they are.

She went to Mt. Carmel in Lakeview. A fine school, but probably very similar to my all girls private Catholic school in LI (full disclosure Our Lady of Mercy in Syosset). I'm certainly not going to exclaim on TV how exclusive it is (not).

She's an idiot. But I'm getting a lot of delight from the Wardrobe by Chico.

[goofygirl]

She's SUCH a grown-up now. Wow. No job, no boyfriend but imaginary, no clue how she's dressing.... Daddy must be so proud!

[FozzyBear]

So is Stassi her name or is her real name Stacy/Annastasia but she thinks Stassi sounds more sophisticated? That name gives me a serious AUNDrea from 90210 headache.

[fliptopbox]

So is Stassi her name or is her real name Stacy/Annastasia but she thinks Stassi sounds more sophisticated? That name gives me a serious AUNDrea from 90210 headache.

I am pretty sure I have read her full name is Anastassia...but the Stassi part does seem overly pretentious. I wouldn't be shocked if she was known as "Staci" in high school.

 

Anyone who saw her Amazing Race, what did they call her then?

[Chrissytd]

I am pretty sure I have read her full name is Anastassia...but the Stassi part does seem overly pretentious. I wouldn't be shocked if she was known as "Staci" in high school.

 

Anyone who saw her Amazing Race, what did they call her then?

On TAR, they called her Stassi.

[goofygirl]

Can't we just call her ASS and be done with it??

[methodwriter85]

So is Stassi the Kristen of The Hills: WeHo Edition? She doesn't seem pretty enough to actually be the alpha girl.

[Shelby]

So is Stassi the Kristen of The Hills: WeHo Edition? She doesn't seem pretty enough to actually be the alpha girl.

DH always says Stassi has a flat ass, and a jaw like a guy.

[methodwriter85]

I wonder if Stassi thinks she's L.C.

[BogoGog24]

I think Stassi is pretty but a) It's not real- she had a chin job and possibly other work done and b) Her personality is so horrible it really doesn't matter how pretty she might be. An ugly personality can destroy a pretty face in seconds.

[Sun-Bun]

I'm beginning to wonder if Stassi is pregnant---on her style blog she keeps wearing these tent-like tops and flowing dresses, while in the tightest recent dress that she wore she was shot from a distance and without her stomach showing in the closer shots.

Plus, she mentioned the potential nursery idea when she was giving Katie a tour of her new apartment. Trying for a pregnancy/stay-at-home-mommyhood would certainly explain why she's suddenly quite content to just swan about town with no job or real point to her currently lazy existence.

Either that or she's just super-sensitive about displaying any of the recent "happy weight" she's mentioned. I'm guessing all those fried goat cheese balls didn't help things...

[sasha206]

I'm beginning to wonder if Stassi is pregnant---on her style blog she keeps wearing these tent-like tops and flowing dresses, while in the tightest recent dress that she wore she was shot from a distance and without her stomach showing in the closer shots.

Plus, she mentioned the potential nursery idea when she was giving Katie a tour of her new apartment. Trying for a pregnancy/stay-at-home-mommyhood would certainly explain why she's suddenly quite content to just swan about town with no job or real point to her currently lazy existence.

Either that or she's just super-sensitive about displaying any of the recent "happy weight" she's mentioned. I'm guessing all those fried goat cheese balls didn't help things...

 

I think she tends to be chunky in general.  Being as thin as she was in the first season is probably very difficult for her to achieve and maintain. 

 

And she's so obnoxious, I love seeing her with the chunk.

[Watermelon]

This dress Stassi is wearing on WWHL doesnt fit at all. It's a good 1-2 sizes too small and her boobs are smooshed down to her elbows.

[Shelby]

This dress Stassi is wearing on WWHL doesnt fit at all. It's a good 1-2 sizes too small and her boobs are smooshed down to her elbows.

I think her boobs at her elbows is probably pretty high up there, compared to what they look like without a bra.

[Watermelon]

I think her boobs at her elbows is probably pretty high up there, compared to what they look like without a bra.

I am an H cup. If I can hoist my boobs to Jesus, so can Stassi. Nordstrom exists for a reason.

[goddessintraining]

I think she tends to be chunky in general.  Being as thin as she was in the first season is probably very difficult for her to achieve and maintain. 

 

And she's so obnoxious, I love seeing her with the chunk.

 

There are times this season where she's looked heavier (not at all chunky or fat).  There's one preview clip for this season where Stassi walks out of a party (?) while Lisa is telling her not to run away because of Jax. She looks slim as heck in her party dress in that scene. While I agree that she's probably not naturally twiggy (despite the long legs), Stassi seems the type who would starve herself and work out 24/7 prior to stepping foot back in LA and taping for a national reality show. Last season she humbly bragged that she never works out. I called B.S. on that.

Edited December 9, 2014 by goddessintraining

[Shelby]

Has it actually been explained this season on the show, why she is in LA getting an

apartment if she has no job in LA and her super perfect boyfriend is in NY?

What is she even doing out West if her life back East is so great?

[ScoobieDoobs]

She said in the first ep this season the ghost bf got a job in LA.  And she said didn't do anything in NY except watch Food Network & walk around a bit.  She said it was so cold she rarely went out.  Sounds like she didn't have much of a life in NY & people shunned her cuz of it.  And she's sittin' back & judging these chucklefucks?  Oy.

[fliptopbox]

With the amount that Stassi likes to drink and the amount of great places to go drinking in NYC I find it really sad that she's saying she barely went out while she lived there. Nevermind the fact that NYC is like the culture capital of the country. If you are bored in a city like NYC you're pretty much a loser. You don't even have to spend a lot of money to have a good time there, just walk around and people watch. Tough shit that Stassi chose to move there over the winter. That's her own damn fault, she shouldn't blame weather for NYC being boring to her.

[FozzyBear]

With the amount that Stassi likes to drink and the amount of great places to go drinking in NYC I find it really sad that she's saying she barely went out while she lived there. Nevermind the fact that NYC is like the culture capital of the country. If you are bored in a city like NYC you're pretty much a loser. You don't even have to spend a lot of money to have a good time there, just walk around and people watch. Tough shit that Stassi chose to move there over the winter. That's her own damn fault, she shouldn't blame weather for NYC being boring to her.

She was there during one of the worst winters in recorded history. I don't see her as the type to tough it out just because she had a fantastic opportunity to promote herself in one of the greatest cities on earth. I don't think Stassi toughs things out.

[Sun-Bun]

If you're bored by NYC and have the time/money to properly enjoy it, then you have serious issues. Or else you're just a hopelessly culture-devoid basic bitch like Stassi.

But then again, this is a chick who apparently sees nothing wrong with constantly discussing/butting her nose into other people's relationships, proudly hanging out at her previous workplace with her former coworkers/boss, and acts as though being a jobless concubine with a seemingly imaginary boyfriend is aspirational.

She's pretty damned smug to be so damned pathetic.

[methodwriter85]

Man, when Stassi tried to bag on Vail Bloom, I just thought to myself, "Vail has probably accomplished more in her life at this point than you ever will." Geez. What a nasty personality.