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Faux Life: Things That Happen On TV But Not In Reality


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1 hour ago, Sandman87 said:

I've learned that vikings wear helmets with ridiculous horns or wings on them. Just the thing to add weight to your head, get caught on ship's rigging, accidentally hurt the guy seated next to you on the rowing bench, and give your enemies a handle to grab for during a fight.

That's something that pisses me off so much. I don't know why, it just does. Here's a real viking helmet.

  • Love 9

I just saw an old "Dick Van Dyke Show" episode. Barbara Bain (!) played Rob's fiance in a flashback, and when he broke up with her she started throwing all her ceramics and nicknacks at him. I always thought that was dumb; all it does is make a mess (they NEVER hit their target!).  I have never seen or heard of this happening in real life.

  • Love 2
1 hour ago, MaryMitch said:

I just saw an old "Dick Van Dyke Show" episode. Barbara Bain (!) played Rob's fiance in a flashback, and when he broke up with her she started throwing all her ceramics and nicknacks at him. I always thought that was dumb; all it does is make a mess (they NEVER hit their target!).  I have never seen or heard of this happening in real life.

I've been tempted once or twice, but since it would just break stuff and I'd have to clean it up, I didn't do it.

On 7/25/2017 at 3:22 AM, Joe said:

That's something that pisses me off so much. I don't know why, it just does. Here's a real viking helmet.

Very Lord of the Rings-ish, which makes sense, I suppose.

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We've talked about work place holiday parties, but I don't think we mentioned these things:

  • Every work place goes all out in the decorating for holidays--especially Christmas.
  • Everyone dresses to the nines, even at small parties at someone's house (dressing nice is one thing, but I'm talking all out).
  • All Christmas carolers have amazing voices that blend beautifully.  Professional quality singing always
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2 hours ago, auntlada said:

Very Lord of the Rings-ish, which makes sense, I suppose.

The LOTR movies drew inspiration from the vikings, yes. However, they should have been drawing inspiration for their book influences, the Anglo-Saxons. Poor Anglo-Saxons, they never get enough historical love. Not as sexy as the vikings, less archeological evidence than either the Romans or Normans...

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(edited)

I feel like we tackled some of those before but the ones that jump out at me are people never having the same name (It happens in real life all the time, although The Office dealt with that in a pretty amusing way and The New Adventures of Old Christine is based on that very premise) and people never stopping what they are doing when they talk to the police.  I mean, it's the police-homicide deceives usually!- and I sincerely doubt that many people could casually bus tables or pack up the car while being questioned about their weird neighbor by THE POLICE.  Even though I'm not the one being suspected of anything my mind would be going a mile a minute as to what was going on.  Meanwhile, the witnesses on Law and Order act like it happens to them all the time.  Oh, Benson is here.  Must be Wednesday. Doesn't she know my company team softball practice can't be put on the back burner for her little investigation?  I'll just take cuts in the batting cage and barely make eye contact with her while she drones on asking me about the last time I saw my barber and if I ever suspected he was a sexual deviant or if he ever mentioned he liked to kill women and stuff them in freezers.  Is she still talking?  Our big game against the boys from the 17th floor is more pressing that this conversation.  

Edited by kiddo82
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Have you ever noticed that on most shows, all of the desktop computers will be Macs, or they'll all be PCs, or they'll all be another platform? It's seldom a mix of types. I don't mean just within a given organization either; the cops, the bad guys, the foreign spies, and the alien invaders have all standardized on the same thing.

 

8 hours ago, Anela said:

"Someone over at Twitter has posed a great question..." Yeah, because no one outside of the twit zone has ever discussed the unrealistic stuff that's shown in TV and movies before. >:(

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I know some were tackled before, but I've seen things repeat. :) A friend of mine posted, "Drivers who make and hold eye contact with their passenger for 30 seconds...at 60 miles per hour." 

Personally, I'd like the beautiful hair that most people have on TV, and their bank accounts. And the way, whenever someone is really down in the dumps, they just have to go through a musical montage of them doing their daily stuff - running, showering, talking to people occasionally, and suddenly turning a hobby into a dream job (just like that), or meeting that one magical person, and everything is fine forever. 

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14 minutes ago, Anela said:

And the way, whenever someone is really down in the dumps, they just have to go through a musical montage of them doing their daily stuff - running, showering, talking to people occasionally, and suddenly turning a hobby into a dream job (just like that), or meeting that one magical person, and everything is fine forever. 

And during the montage, when someone is down and the dumps and eating ice cream in their pajamas, or lying on the couch with used tissues all round them, the rest of the house remains immaculate, including the beds being made and all clothes put away. 

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(edited)
1 hour ago, topanga said:

And during the montage, when someone is down and the dumps and eating ice cream in their pajamas, or lying on the couch with used tissues all round them, the rest of the house remains immaculate, including the beds being made and all clothes put away. 

Yep. When I'm feeling that way, I don't get laundry done until I'm out of clothes, and then it takes effort. My house is currently a mess for this reason - and has been for months.

Edited by Anela
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17 hours ago, kiddo82 said:

I feel like we tackled some of those before but the ones that jump out at me are people never having the same name (It happens in real life all the time, although The Office dealt with that in a pretty amusing way and The New Adventures of Old Christine is based on that very premise)

I think it's so funny that you said this because I discuss Supernatural on another site, and there is a poster there who is absolutely livid that they reuse names. I mean there are probably at least an average of 3 one-shot named characters per episode, in a show with over 250 episodes, and she wants them each to have a unique first name. 

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16 minutes ago, Katy M said:

I think it's so funny that you said this because I discuss Supernatural on another site, and there is a poster there who is absolutely livid that they reuse names. I mean there are probably at least an average of 3 one-shot named characters per episode, in a show with over 250 episodes, and she wants them each to have a unique first name. 

Heh, do you know how many Bobs, Brians and Bills I know and deal with on a daily basis? It's crazy to think any show wouldn't have an overlapping name from time to time.

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1 minute ago, DittyDotDot said:

Heh, do you know how many Bobs, Brians and Bills I know and deal with on a daily basis? It's crazy to think any show wouldn't have an overlapping name from time to time.

That's what I said.  She seemed to think, at least at one point ,that the reuse of names was going to have some big reveal at the end of the series.  I'm not sure why.  But, then she also rightly pointed out that there have been 3 Amelias, and 3 Noras (less common names, I don't know any in real life) and no Lauras.  But, yeah, I have two friends who have been best friends since kindergarten and their names are Jenny and Jennifer.  My sister and I both had college roommates named Vicky, but spelled differently.  There were exactly 3 women this one place I worked and at one time we were all dating a Bill.  That's real life.

 

 .

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5 minutes ago, Katy M said:

That's what I said.  She seemed to think, at least at one point ,that the reuse of names was going to have some big reveal at the end of the series.  I'm not sure why.  But, then she also rightly pointed out that there have been 3 Amelias, and 3 Noras (less common names, I don't know any in real life) and no Lauras.  But, yeah, I have two friends who have been best friends since kindergarten and their names are Jenny and Jennifer.  My sister and I both had college roommates named Vicky, but spelled differently.  There were exactly 3 women this one place I worked and at one time we were all dating a Bill.  That's real life.

Sorry if it sounded like I was disagreeing with you, I wasn't.

But, I'll relay a somewhat funny story. I work for a small town newspaper and this year the softball team had three Hannahs and two Abbys all spelled differently. I had a shortcut for the Hannahs--there was the palindrome Hannah, the asymmetrical Hanna and the nonsensical Hanah. I couldn't come up with a good way to remember the Abbys, though...seems like there should be an ABBA joke in there somewhere, though. ;)

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On 7/19/2017 at 10:09 AM, Katy M said:

I think it depends on the girl.  there was no celebration, but I did have some trauma and drama due to the fact that I started while I was sleeping and woke up to a lot of blood on my sheets and pain.  Yes, I knew what periods were and that I should be starting soon (I was a late starter, all my friends already had it), but I wasn't expecting that much blood and that much pain, so I thought it was something else and I was dying.

Oh yeah, it's kind of scary! One day you're suddenly bleeding A LOT and in pain and it just doesn't stop. And you don't want to tell anyone, because how do you broach the topic of tons of blood and goop coming out of your privates?

I knew that periods existed, but I didn't really understand what they were until I got one. So at first, I thought maybe I was dying, too -- I think maybe most girls do! My very reasonable solution to possible impending death was to silently leave my bloody underwear in the (only) bathroom. After a day or two my mom told me what was up and gave me some pads, thank goodness.

On 7/25/2017 at 3:06 AM, Sandman87 said:

I've learned that vikings wear helmets with ridiculous horns or wings on them. Just the thing to add weight to your head, get caught on ship's rigging, accidentally hurt the guy seated next to you on the rowing bench, and give your enemies a handle to grab for during a fight.

To be fair, I think it would be kind of awesome to have a helmet with short, sharp spikes all of it. Like you know those spikes that cities put on windowsills to keep pigeons off? Kind of like that. I feel like that could be convenient in battle -- or, you know, for keeping pigeons off.

On 7/28/2017 at 5:05 PM, MaryMitch said:

I just saw an old "Dick Van Dyke Show" episode. Barbara Bain (!) played Rob's fiance in a flashback, and when he broke up with her she started throwing all her ceramics and nicknacks at him. I always thought that was dumb; all it does is make a mess (they NEVER hit their target!).  I have never seen or heard of this happening in real life.

Oh jeez, I've had stuff thrown at me during a breakup. It does really happen!

Albeit not ceramic tchotchkes, though -- in my case, it was a chair and an end-table with a pizza box on it. We'd already had The Conversation and I'd already spent a few days packing up and selling as much of my stuff as I could because I was trying to get out ASAP, but at the point when he realized the breakup was really happening and escalated from just yelling and being a domineering asshole to flat out throwing things at me (I don't even remember what the specific inciting incident was), I thought, "OK, this is going to end really badly really soon."

He stormed out right after throwing the furniture, but I was still trying to round up my cat and get what I could stuffed into a suitcase by the time he got back to the apartment. I just remember trying to hustle to the car while staying on his good side, and him crying and begging me to stay and trying to get in the way of the car so that I couldn't go and UGH it was AWFUL. And that was MY apartment we were living in in the first place! But I moved out right then, and never saw him again.

Oh yeah, and that was the place where I was living after I moved out of my previous apartment because one of the roommates there would get plastered and throw stuff at HIS girlfriend! They never broke up, though. According to my facebook feed, they're now married.

Anyway, I've never been the "thrower," and don't ever plan to be. What if someone really gets hurt? Someone including me, after the man goes ballistic in response to having crap thrown at him lol.

What I think is unrealistic isn't that people get stuff thrown at them on TV, it's that they're so blasé about it! Have to say, in real life, I think it's kind of a crisis when someone starts violently losing their shit with you.

1 hour ago, DittyDotDot said:

Heh, do you know how many Bobs, Brians and Bills I know and deal with on a daily basis? It's crazy to think any show wouldn't have an overlapping name from time to time.

Another big one is Kristina. We have like 7 employees at work, and for a while, 2 of them were named Kristina. Very confusing, to be honest.

We also just had a training with our insurance broker, whose name is Bob. And whenever he would give examples of different scenarios or different hypothetical clients during the course of the training, he would always also call them "Bob." That cracked me up.

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On 7/28/2017 at 4:05 PM, MaryMitch said:

I just saw an old "Dick Van Dyke Show" episode. Barbara Bain (!) played Rob's fiance in a flashback, and when he broke up with her she started throwing all her ceramics and nicknacks at him. I always thought that was dumb; all it does is make a mess (they NEVER hit their target!).  I have never seen or heard of this happening in real life.

My sister one threw a ceramic sugar bowl--full of sugar, mind you--out of frustration. Thankfully she didn't throw it at me, but I did decide it was time to take my nephew out for a bike ride to give her some alone time to cool off and clean up the mess. 

39 minutes ago, rue721 said:

I knew that periods existed, but I didn't really understand what they were until I got one. So at first, I thought maybe I was dying, too -- I think maybe most girls do!

I was just annoyed that I'd now be inconvenienced every month (and turned out to develop a couple of conditions that mean I quickly became and have since remained far more than inconvenienced, but that's another story).  My mom had long before explained things to me and stocked my bathroom with supplies, and I had friends who'd already started theirs, so it was just an "Oh, dammit - that's what those pains were about" thing for me.  I told my mom, went to the bathroom, came out to find her on the phone with her best friend, asked quite crankily if she was going to alert the damn media, and crawled back in bed with one of my cats.  Dad came home, Mom told him, and he said he guessed this meant family vacations were now going to have to be scheduled around two menstrual cycles.  No fuss was made by any party, but it wasn't hushed up.

At any rate, there are all kinds of experiences out there, and I agree with the original post that TV generally only presents a narrow slice of those -- if it's acknowledged in a character, it's presented as A Big Deal (by her and/or her parents).

  • Love 3

When I was about 20, in anger at being jilted by a lover, I threw a gallon jar against some rocks. I was immediately scolded by a mother of a small child, whereupon I retrieved every last shard and never again threw anything in anger—and that was over 40 years ago. 
So, about things on TV that are not in real life, I'd say, yes, people throw stuff, but somebody has to clean it up, and cleaning up the broken stuff is no piece of cake. It's tedious and takes time. And sometimes it's rather cathartic to be gathering up the broken pieces and disposing of them. I don't think I've ever seen that on TV.

 

About a girl's first period drama on TV—I must not watch those shows. Are they soap operas? I don't watch those, so maybe that's why I've missed it. I caught parts of most Gilmore Girls episodes when my youngest, then-teen daughter was watching and don't recall any menstrual drama, but maybe I missed that too.
Anyway, FWIW, when my mom explained menstruation to me, I went in the nearest bathroom and threw up—which I dare anyone to show on TV! I just remember my first period (and all others) as being a lot more blood and pain than was advertised—or depicted on TV. Thoughts or discussions of fertility or coming of age did not occur. 
A little later it became a time to rejoice in not being pregnant—which actually is often shown on TV.

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6 hours ago, shapeshifter said:

About a girl's first period drama on TV—I must not watch those shows. Are they soap operas? I don't watch those, so maybe that's why I've missed it. I caught parts of most Gilmore Girls episodes when my youngest, then-teen daughter was watching and don't recall any menstrual drama, but maybe I missed that too.

I only really remember anything like OP was talking about on 7th Heaven when Lucy started hers.  I also remember on Roseanne, Darlene was afraid that meant she had to become all girly.  And, I remember Sarah's mother wasn't home when it happened on Something So Right, so it became more dramatic than it need be.  I don't remember a period ever being mentioned on a soap.  Other than to mention that you're late, so of course, you're pregnant, and the father could be 15 different people.

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On ‎07‎/‎29‎/‎2017 at 10:15 PM, rue721 said:

Another big one is Kristina. We have like 7 employees at work, and for a while, 2 of them were named Kristina. Very confusing, to be honest.

We also just had a training with our insurance broker, whose name is Bob. And whenever he would give examples of different scenarios or different hypothetical clients during the course of the training, he would always also call them "Bob." That cracked me up.

My parents thought they'd chosen the most unique name they'd ever heard when they named me in the mid-60s.  Jennifer.  'nough said.

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2 hours ago, proserpina65 said:

My parents thought they'd chosen the most unique name they'd ever heard when they named me in the mid-60s.  Jennifer.  'nough said.

A friend of mine told me, before I had kids, that she would look at the top 100 or so lists when she was pregnant because she didn't want to call her kids' names on the playground and have three or four turn and call back.  I took that into consideration when I got pregnant both times and made sure that my kids' names were at least out of the top 20, preferable the out of the top 50. 

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1 hour ago, ChromaKelly said:

When a person receives dramatic news, they drop the glass or coffee mug they are holding. Sometimes in slow motion!

Never in the history of TV has a (let's be honest) woman been able to maintain control of her hands upon being told dramatic news. Sometimes just seeing the police at one's door will do it.

Also, editors love the sound of breaking crockery. It's the audible indication of a broken heart, get it?

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6 hours ago, ChromaKelly said:

When a person receives dramatic news, they drop the glass or coffee mug they are holding. Sometimes in slow motion!

In more wacky circumstances, it will be a spit-take. Sometimes in slow motion!

In circumstances that are both wacky and ironic, the person will pick up the beverage, take a sip, and then do a spit-take.

  • Love 3
11 hours ago, ChromaKelly said:

When a person receives dramatic news, they drop the glass or coffee mug they are holding. Sometimes in slow motion!

 

9 hours ago, 2727 said:

Never in the history of TV has a (let's be honest) woman been able to maintain control of her hands upon being told dramatic news. Sometimes just seeing the police at one's door will do it.

Also, editors love the sound of breaking crockery. It's the audible indication of a broken heart, get it?

Adding on, women always stand still and scream their heads off when they unexpectedly come face-to-face with something horrible and/or dangerous. No picking up something heavy and bashing the shit out of the intruder, no looking around to make sure the killer isn't hiding behind the door, no simply backing out and grabbing either a phone or the first able-bodied person they see. Men never scream, though.

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On 8/1/2017 at 1:39 PM, proserpina65 said:

My parents thought they'd chosen the most unique name they'd ever heard when they named me in the mid-60s.  Jennifer.  'nough said.

I had a coworker - one of about 5 Steves on the extended team, including our famous CEO - who'd researched baby name frequencies extensively when naming his daughter so she wouldn't run into the same problem. Alas, he didn't check upcoming Disney movies - yes, three weeks before The Little Mermaid came out, they christened her Ariel. Next time they included movies, so little sister didn't have to worry about being one of many Mulans.

 

I met one of my best high school friends because we both have an uncommon name. She was a cheerleader, I was on the front row of the bleachers, and she noticed me because we'd both turn around when someone called to her by name.

 

I'm approaching menopause, and nobody on TV seems to look forward to it, but when I'd missed three in a row I was all "Yes! Finally! I am so done!" Alas, not quite yet. I called my grandmother to chat about it and she teased me that when I hit my first period (I was spending the summer with my grandparents) I had terrible backaches and swore I wasn't going to do that again. Nobody tried to pull "ooh, you're a woman now" on me, because I know 13 year old me would've thought that was stupid.

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8 hours ago, Jamoche said:

I'm approaching menopause, and nobody on TV seems to look forward to it, but when I'd missed three in a row I was all "Yes! Finally! I am so done!"

That's because on tv everyone is devastated to not be able to bear children anymore.  Doesn't matter that they are older and their youngest is graduating high school, just the idea of being officially done with babies is depressing.  (I can't wait for mine to be done with, too, fwiw).

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The only time I remember menopause being discussed on TV was on The Golden Girls.  I think they actually had a good balance.  IIRC (it's been a LOOONG time), Blanche thought she was pregnant.  She went to the doctor and found out she was going through menopause. She was depressed because it meant she was old.  I can totally understand that.  I think Dorothy said she had been glad when she went through it because no more cramps, no more mood swings, blah blah.  I can understand that POV also.  I don't really remember what Rose's feelings on the subject were except I think she never got cramps.  People like her must die:)  The few women I know in IRL who have mentioned it mostly just complain about the hot flashes.  My mom said she never had any. I hope that's a good omen for me.  I hate being hot.

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5 hours ago, Katy M said:

The only time I remember menopause being discussed on TV was on The Golden Girls.

It was on Cosby, too.  Claire mentioned it in passing to her family after her doctor's appointment and was very matter of fact about it.  Of course, the kids, having heard all the hyperbole about how bad the emotional state could be, were treating her accordingly, so she decided to have some fun with them and act the part.  Then, she sat them down and set them straight.  Little House on the Prairie took it to the "he won't want me now because I can't bear him children any more" level.  But, then, I suppose that could have been because it was based in the 1800s.

Only on tv does everyone who is NOT connected music in some way (entertainment industry, church choir) have multiple people in their lives who can sing beautifully.  I don't mean just "ok" voices, but excellent voices.

Edited by Shannon L.
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4 hours ago, Katy M said:

The only time I remember menopause being discussed on TV was on The Golden Girls.  I think they actually had a good balance.  IIRC (it's been a LOOONG time), Blanche thought she was pregnant.  She went to the doctor and found out she was going through menopause. She was depressed because it meant she was old.  I can totally understand that.  I think Dorothy said she had been glad when she went through it because no more cramps, no more mood swings, blah blah.  I can understand that POV also.  I don't really remember what Rose's feelings on the subject were except I think she never got cramps.  People like her must die:)  The few women I know in IRL who have mentioned it mostly just complain about the hot flashes.  My mom said she never had any. I hope that's a good omen for me.  I hate being hot.

I'm not ready for it, and suddenly it's a topic among women my age (or the peri- part). I have personal reasons for not being ready, though. I wish I felt like the women who are ready to be done with it. I'm dreading it, and it just adds to my depression.

Re: names - my mum thought my name (Angela) wasn't that popular when I was born. I think it turned out to be in the top ten, looking back. Although I rarely meet anyone with my name. In high school, another Angela walked over to shake my hand, when she learned my name. 

Edited by Anela
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1 hour ago, Anela said:

Re: names - my mum thought my name (Angela) wasn't that popular when I was born. I think it turned out to be in the top ten, looking back. Although I rarely meet anyone with my name. In high school, another Angela walked over to shake my hand, when she learned my name. 

That's my name, too, and yeah, I don't remember it being all that popular when I was in school, and this was in the '90s. I think at most there were ever, like, two or three other girls in my school who shared my name. But pretty much everyone I've ever known calls me Angie anyway, so...

My sister wasn't as lucky. Her name is Ashley. Yeah. 

(Oddly enough, though, I used to work in a bookstore here in town ,and one day there were three women who came through, in a row, with their items. They were all named Angela :p. And I had a co-worker named Angela for a time as well.)

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On 7/30/2017 at 5:45 AM, Katy M said:

I only really remember anything like OP was talking about on 7th Heaven when Lucy started hers.  I also remember on Roseanne, Darlene was afraid that meant she had to become all girly.  And, I remember Sarah's mother wasn't home when it happened on Something So Right, so it became more dramatic than it need be.  I don't remember a period ever being mentioned on a soap.  Other than to mention that you're late, so of course, you're pregnant, and the father could be 15 different people.

I am so happy that you mentioned Something So Right.  I loved that show.  Quite possibly you and I are the only ones that watched it!  

11 hours ago, Katy M said:

The only time I remember menopause being discussed on TV was on The Golden Girls.  I think they actually had a good balance.  IIRC (it's been a LOOONG time), Blanche thought she was pregnant.  She went to the doctor and found out she was going through menopause. She was depressed because it meant she was old.  I can totally understand that.  I think Dorothy said she had been glad when she went through it because no more cramps, no more mood swings, blah blah.  I can understand that POV also.  I don't really remember what Rose's feelings on the subject were except I think she never got cramps.  People like her must die:)  The few women I know in IRL who have mentioned it mostly just complain about the hot flashes.  My mom said she never had any. I hope that's a good omen for me.  I hate being hot.

It came up in Designing Women too, in the seventh and final season.  I don't remember all the details, because I don't watch the last two seasons as a matter of principle, but I recall that Julia started menopause, and it was very very cliche.  She was hot all the time, and doing ridiculous tropy things like opening a window and standing in front of it while waving air in, flapping her skirt in front of her face, etc.

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