Faux Life: Things That Happen On TV But Not In Reality

[Raja]

1 minute ago, blueray said:

I just started watching Switched at Birth (first time) and in the episode I watched the guy subs in as a drummer. I feel like wouldn't they need to practice before? Of course in the show he just joins in and knows when to have a solo and stuff. I'm sure this has been mentioned before or even by me.

I haven't seen the show but in improvisational and semi improvisational music that is common. When to take solos and fills is a non verbal communication that goes on among musicians. However being a TV show with actual rehearsal time since the scene is timed to the second the performance is likely to be tighter than happens at a jam, or many public performances from every other church on Sunday on up to the big touring jam bands. and jazz combos. Especially for drummers who rarely have any notation at all to play from while the others might have a the lead melody line and chord progression at most in their fake books.

[Moose135]

On 4/1/2017 at 0:08 PM, ganesh said:

Y'all a bunch of criminals. 

Way back when I was in the Air Force, we were pulling alert so we had an AF pickup to drive on base, in case the horn went off and we had to respond to the aircraft.  We were heading out to truck, and the aircraft commander - from a small town in Michigan - asked about who had the keys.  I just played along with the rest of the crew saying "not me" even though I had them.  He started to worry about what would happen if we did have to get back in a hurry, and I said "No problem, I can hot wire it."  He asked "You know how to do that?" I said "Of course, everyone in NY knows how to hot wire a car."

[proserpina65]

On ‎04‎/‎03‎/‎2017 at 2:15 PM, DittyDotDot said:

Why not? The hinges usually are on the outside of the room. All of my door hinges in my house I can access from the hallways and such, not the inside of the room.

Depends on the door and how it was hung.

[Shannon L.]

In the winter time, with a lot of snow on the ground and even falling, people tend to walk around with no hats or gloves and light jackets*.  I grew up in the North East and even those of us who hated hats wore warm jackets and scarves and boots, etc. 

*Of course, this happens more often in romances than gritty dramas or comedies, so perhaps being in love makes one's body temperature go up?  Although, I thought I was in love in high school, but still bundled up.

Edited April 4, 2017 by Shannon L.

[Anela]

17 minutes ago, Shannon L. said:

In the winter time, with a lot of snow on the ground and even falling, people tend to walk around with no hats or gloves and light jackets*.  I grew up in the North East and even those of us who hated hats wore warm jackets and scarves and boots, etc. 

*Of course, this happens more often in romances than gritty dramas or comedies, so perhaps being in love makes one's body temperature go up?  Although, I thought I was in love in high school, but still bundled up.

I don't wear a hat or gloves, but I do wear boots and a heavy coat. My dad and I both point out people wearing shorts when it's cold enough for snow. The other day, someone was wearing flip flops and shorts, when I was shivering in my coat. 

I know what you mean, though. 

[ChromaKelly]

On 4/3/2017 at 2:49 PM, Bastet said:

No, the hinges were in the bedroom with Becky, not out in the hall with Roseanne.  (Which is how the doors are in my house, too, which is what made me double-check the layout in the Conner house, because I thought, "Wait, she can't do that, can she?"  And, no, she can't.  But it was still a funny scene.)

Sigh.  Without fail, if I post without quoting what I'm replying to, my post winds up at the top of a new page and thus has no context.

OK, I'm looking at my interior doors right now and yeah, the plate where you would use a screwdriver is on the inside. The long part with the pin-type of thing is on the outside. You could maybe take the pins out from the outside.

[Bastet]

50 minutes ago, ChromaKelly said:

OK, I'm looking at my interior doors right now and yeah, the plate where you would use a screwdriver is on the inside. The long part with the pin-type of thing is on the outside. You could maybe take the pins out from the outside.

Right, if you can access the hinge pin, you can pry that out with a screwdriver and take the door off.  In the Conner house, though (and in my house, which is what made me check theirs in the first place - and I double-checked it yesterday when this came up, since I have the series on DVD), the hinges were inside the room, not out in the hallway. 

I'm increasingly sorry I ever mentioned this, heh.

As for characters in inappropriate outerwear during winter scenes, there's the obvious consideration that, for those scenes shot on a soundstage, it's hot under those lights, but they crank up the AC so it's possible to bundle the actors up without making them entirely miserable, so it's not an automatic excuse.  My second thought is that many of these shows are filmed in L.A., where we don't wear hats, gloves, and heavy coats very often, but that's not an excuse for the wardrobe department not to dress the characters properly, either (plus, a lot of people working in the entertainment industry came here from someplace else, so snow-weather gear is not foreign to them).  In other words, that bugs me, too. 

Edited April 4, 2017 by Bastet

[CoderLady]

Law & Order was the only show I can think of that was good at dressing people appropriately for winter when they were outdoors. People would be in gloves, scarves, boots, ankle-length overcoats and serious hats in the winter and there would often be piles of dirty city snow in the background of many scenes. But other shows? Not so much.

[Bastet]

7 minutes ago, CoderLady said:

Law & Order was the only show I can think of that was good at dressing people appropriately for winter when they were outdoors. People would be in gloves, scarves, boots, ankle-length overcoats and serious hats in the winter and there would often be piles of dirty city snow in the background of many scenes.

Well, they filmed the outdoor scenes on location in NYC, so it wasn't something they had to consciously do (except when they were filming episodes set in a cool month during a warm month, of course).

[topanga]

Only on TV can two people be sitting together in a crowded stadium, and when one looks away and says, "I can't believe he showed his face here," their companion automatically looks up and zooms in the person of interest. There's no "Do you mean the guy with the red hat? The old man with the cane? Then who are you talking about, dammit? What's he wearing?"

[Cobalt Stargazer]

On 3/19/2017 at 11:13 PM, Lord Donia said:

Every secretary and assistant on TV: "I'm sorry, I tried to stop him/her!"

So many people crashing into executives' offices.

It isn't only executive offices, it's at people houses too. People walk into each other's living rooms without being invited or even knocking all the time, especially when the people happen to be related.

On 4/4/2017 at 4:21 PM, CoderLady said:

Law & Order was the only show I can think of that was good at dressing people appropriately for winter when they were outdoors. People would be in gloves, scarves, boots, ankle-length overcoats and serious hats in the winter and there would often be piles of dirty city snow in the background of many scenes. But other shows? Not so much.

I'm watching L & O on Sundance right now, and I always appreciate that the detectives dress professionally. Collared shirts and ties, jackets and dress shoes, with pants that look like they've been ironed in the past few days.

[Raja]

I don't know if this one has been mentioned lately but since a FBI Agent just pulled it off on Designated Survivor  TV characters outrun the fireball of an explosion. And if the flames don't touch them then no damage is done.

[CoderLady]

In reality, the shockwave would do some serious damage and can't be outrun, but no one other than those connoisseurs of explosions on Mythbusters does anyone admit such a thing exists.

Edited April 7, 2017 by CoderLady

[Haleth]

7 hours ago, CoderLady said:

In reality, the shockwave would do some serious damage and can't be outrun, but no one other than those connoisseurs of explosions on Mythbusters does anyone admit such a thing exists.

It's such a cliched shot-- the badass casually walking toward the camera while an explosion occurs just yards behind them.

[Shannon L.]

8 hours ago, CoderLady said:

In reality, the shockwave would do some serious damage and can't be outrun, but no one other than those connoisseurs of explosions on Mythbusters does anyone admit such a thing exists.

I saw a couple of minutes of a movie with Denzel Washington (I can't even remember the name of it) where he was trying to talk a terrorist into letting some hostages off of a city bus.  Not long after the children (I think) were released, the terrorist ignited a bomb.  It was huge and even though Denzel was quite a distance away, I was shocked to see him knocked over and sustain some injuries.  That never happens. 

[DisneyBoy]

On 04/04/2017 at 3:56 PM, Shannon L. said:

In the winter time, with a lot of snow on the ground and even falling, people tend to walk around with no hats or gloves and light jackets*.  I grew up in the North East and even those of us who hated hats wore warm jackets and scarves and boots, etc. 

*Of course, this happens more often in romances than gritty dramas or comedies, so perhaps being in love makes one's body temperature go up?  Although, I thought I was in love in high school, but still bundled up.

This still drives me crazy. I realize more often than not these things are filmed in LA and it is too warm for actors in the middle of a 10 to 12 hour shooting day to put in the extra effort to shiver and try to bundle up. But it bugs me nevertheless. It's like those dinky skinny scarves that were popular few years ago that all the actresses seemed to wear in all of their scenes. That won't keep you warm! Wear a real scarf and wrap it around your neck!

I realize that this is just something desperate writers throw at a series when they have no other ideas, but I'm really fed up with how all fictional characters on TV seem to win or inherit a lot of money at some point in their lives. Most of us never do unless it's 50 bucks here or $200 there. Stop making it seem like lotteries or gambling pay off! And stop making it seem like everyone has rich wealthy relatives that never visit but love you enough to leave you a couple of thousand.

Edited April 7, 2017 by DisneyBoy

[Katy M]

4 minutes ago, DisneyBoy said:

And stop making it seem like everyone has rich wealthy relatives that never visit but love you enough to leave you a couple of thousand.

That's why I liked it on Little House on the Prairie when it turned out to be confederate coins and was worthless.  I was never sure why Charles was spending money left and right, though, without knowing exactly how much money he was going to get. 

[Raja]

45 minutes ago, Shannon L. said:

I saw a couple of minutes of a movie with Denzel Washington (I can't even remember the name of it) where he was trying to talk a terrorist into letting some hostages off of a city bus.  Not long after the children (I think) were released, the terrorist ignited a bomb.  It was huge and even though Denzel was quite a distance away, I was shocked to see him knocked over and sustain some injuries.  That never happens. 

The Siege, it wasn't your standard "action movie'. I think his walking away from an explosion unaffected in Man On Fire is more famous but given his target a much smaller explosive charge could be used. However it was the big explosion that he walk away from in The Equalizer.

[Shannon L.]

1 hour ago, Raja said:

The Siege, it wasn't your standard "action movie'.

Thanks!  I could tell right away that it wasn't a standard action movie, but I was still surprised that it went a little beyond just being knocked over. 

[Bastet]

The shockwave conversation is timely, as Major Crimes just aired on Wednesday an episode titled Shockwave, as that was the cause of death following a bomb detonation.   Not shrapnel, not being engulfed in a fireball, but the damage caused to the body by the shockwave.

Another only on TV thing when it comes to walking away unscathed from nearby  explosions -- no one's hearing is affected (unless it's done for comedic effect, so the person can walk around shouting for the rest of the episode).

Edited April 7, 2017 by Bastet

[HunterHunted]

On 4/4/2017 at 5:32 PM, Bastet said:

Well, they filmed the outdoor scenes on location in NYC, so it wasn't something they had to consciously do (except when they were filming episodes set in a cool month during a warm month, of course).

I'm increasingly seeing the opposite problem on a lot of shows that film in Vancouver. We know that it's supposed to be spring, summer, or set in a warm climate, but the characters are as bundled up as you can get for "the season" or you can see the actor's breath as they are talking on the lovely summer day where they are wearing heavy sweaters and a down vest.

I will say that Law & Order's failure to dress Alexandra Borgia and Connie Rubirosa correctly for court really irritated me. In some jurisdictions, they'll find a female attorney in contempt and/or send them home. Both Alex and Connie loved wearing sweater sets. Some jurisdictions don't think that is appropriate. Connie did wear open toed shoes on occasion. I've definitely known attorneys who have been kicked out of court for that. 

[kassygreene]

3 hours ago, Bastet said:

The shockwave conversation is timely, as Major Crimes just aired on Wednesday an episode titled Shockwave, as that was the cause of death following a bomb detonation.   Not shrapnel, not being engulfed in a fireball, but the damage caused to the body by the shockwave.

Another only on TV thing when it comes to walking away unscathed from nearby  explosions -- no one's hearing is affected (unless it's done for comedic effect, so the person can walk around shouting for the rest of the episode).

A very recent Hawaii Five-0 acknowledged both shockwave and hearing loss as our heroes worked hard to disable a dirty bomb - as I recall they got the nuke-y bits out, but the explosive part still went off.  This is a show that traditionally doesn't deal with real-world consequences.

[kiddo82]

7 hours ago, Bastet said:

Another only on TV thing when it comes to walking away unscathed from nearby  explosions -- no one's hearing is affected (unless it's done for comedic effect, so the person can walk around shouting for the rest of the episode).

Archer has recurrent tinnitus.  It's a nice touch.

[zxy556575]

Regarding the pop-in: People with secret lairs constantly have bad guys appearing unannounced. Might as well open a storefront.

[DearEvette]

Ok, since I don't know any real life crime lords with evil minions or henchmen I can't say with 100% surety this only happens on tv, but when there is a big shootout between the good guys and the aforementioned crime lord/henchmen, the henchmen all always die first.  Crime lord always gets away to crime lord another day.  Or he is the very last one to die, usually monologuing.  For once it would be nice for a stray bullet (or leaping tiger) to pop him off first.

[shapeshifter]

6 minutes ago, DearEvette said:

Ok, since I don't know any real life crime lords with evil minions or henchmen I can't say with 100% surety this only happens on tv, but when there is a big shootout between the good guys and the aforementioned crime lord/henchmen, the henchmen all always die first.  Crime lord always gets away to crime lord another day.  Or he is the very last one to die, usually monologuing.  For once it would be nice for a stray bullet (or leaping tiger) to pop him off first.

I suppose, to be fair, the writers/directors assume it's common knowledge that they got to be crime lords by having attended and receiving black belts at tiger dodging academy when they were toddlers. Actually, I do recall reading that some real life Big Bad (Sadaam Hussein? Manuel Noriega? Definitely not Bernie Madoff), when he was a toddler, was made to dance in a circle of his drunken uncles while they shot bullets at the ground around his feet.

Add this to my list of posts to populate a future thread of Things That Happen in Real Life but Not on TV.

[Katy M]

57 minutes ago, DearEvette said:

Ok, since I don't know any real life crime lords with evil minions or henchmen I can't say with 100% surety this only happens on tv, but when there is a big shootout between the good guys and the aforementioned crime lord/henchmen, the henchmen all always die first.  Crime lord always gets away to crime lord another day.  Or he is the very last one to die, usually monologuing.  For once it would be nice for a stray bullet (or leaping tiger) to pop him off first.

I also don't any real life crime lords with minions, or without for that matter, but I would imagine you would put your minions in the most vulnerable position keeping yourself safest.

[kiddo82]

1 hour ago, DearEvette said:

Ok, since I don't know any real life crime lords with evil minions or henchmen I can't say with 100% surety this only happens on tv, but when there is a big shootout between the good guys and the aforementioned crime lord/henchmen, the henchmen all always die first.  Crime lord always gets away to crime lord another day.  Or he is the very last one to die, usually monologuing.  For once it would be nice for a stray bullet (or leaping tiger) to pop him off first.

Also, minions go down so easily compared to crime lords who could survive anything from bullets to knives to being set on fire to nuclear blasts.  Crime lords are the cockroaches of TV.  

Edited April 8, 2017 by kiddo82

[Raja]

4 minutes ago, kiddo82 said:

Also, minions go down so easily compared to crime lords who could survive anything from bullets to knives to nuclear blasts.  Crime lords are the cockroaches of TV.  

Maybe because TV cops have no problem with blowing away henchmen but when they fight their way to the target they hesitate for surrender and fistfights

[Jaded]

28 minutes ago, kiddo82 said:

Crime lords are the cockroaches of TV.  

That sentence makes me think of a character on General Hospital that prevents me from watching full time except for the periods of time where the show wasn't centered around him.

Edited April 8, 2017 by Jaded

[legaleagle53]

6 hours ago, Katy M said:

I also don't any real life crime lords with minions, or without for that matter, but I would imagine you would put your minions in the most vulnerable position keeping yourself safest.

Seriously.  Anyone who's ever played chess knows that you always move the pawns, the knights, the bishops, the rooks, and even the Queen (the most powerful piece) around in such a way that the King is always the last one to be taken.

Edited April 8, 2017 by legaleagle53

[DearEvette]

Yeah, I am not talking about the behind the scenes stuff where the crime lord sits in his fortress and sends his minions out to do his dirty business where they picked off one by one.  I am talking about in flat out gun battles, with bullets awhizzing and crime lord is out there in the thick of it.  He still manages to be the last one standing.

And even in the former case, after minions 1-7 are killed on their various missions, it never ceases to amaze me that when minion 8 gets dispatched to go, he does it eagerly, never stopping to maybe re-eamine his career choices.

[kiddo82]

Minion pay is reaaaally good from what I hear.

[legaleagle53]

1 hour ago, kiddo82 said:

Minion pay is reaaaally good from what I hear.

But it's damn near impossible for them to get health insurance, even under the ACA!

[merylinkid]

13 hours ago, legaleagle53 said:

But it's damn near impossible for them to get health insurance, even under the ACA!

Self-insured.   With AWESOME death benefits.

[blueray]

On 4/7/2017 at 11:49 PM, Lord Donia said:

Regarding the pop-in: People with secret lairs constantly have bad guys appearing unannounced. Might as well open a storefront.

I'd add it loss of respect for property. Seriously how many people just trespassed on the Kent's yard during Smallville to "talk" to Clark.

[DisneyBoy]

Or what about the Luthor mansion?

 

I found it's a golden rule that any evil person with a massive mansion almost always has dramatic intruders popping up.

[Katy M]

10 hours ago, DisneyBoy said:

Or what about the Luthor mansion?

 

I found it's a golden rule that any evil person with a massive mansion almost always has dramatic intruders popping up.

If I knew anybody with a massive mansion, I would totally descend upon it.

[meep.meep]

But would you dramatically descend?

If I knew anybody with a massive mansion, I would attempt to become their henchman.  As long as I didn't have to do windows.

[Katy M]

25 minutes ago, meep.meep said:

But would you dramatically descend?

If I knew anybody with a massive mansion, I would attempt to become their henchman.  As long as I didn't have to do windows.

The only way to descend is to do it dramatically.  I don't think henchman do windows. 

Edited April 11, 2017 by Katy M

[meep.meep]

I was hoping that was in the contract....I'm up for some lurking and conspiring.  You never see henchmen in real life, just on TV and in the movies.

[CoderLady]

2 hours ago, meep.meep said:

If I knew anybody with a massive mansion, I would attempt to become their henchman.  As long as I didn't have to do windows.

That's only a safe job if there are no rival super villains trying to knock each other off. The first thing a villain does when descending on his/her rival's massive mansion is to sneak up on and kill a bunch of unsuspecting henchmen in the most dramatic and messy fashion imaginable. And now I wonder: do henchmen have life insurance and survivor benefits?

[Katy M]

46 minutes ago, CoderLady said:

That's only a safe job if there are no rival super villains trying to knock each other off. The first thing a villain does when descending on his/her rival's massive mansion is to sneak up on and kill a bunch of unsuspecting henchmen in the most dramatic and messy fashion imaginable. And now I wonder: do henchmen have life insurance and survivor benefits?

Did I not mention that my dramatic descent on this hypothetical mansion was going to involve me killing any help I could find there.  And backtracking several times so I can dramatically step over the bodies two or three times.  Tracking blood wherever I go, so the owner can easily track me down.   And, then, when he does, I'm going to turn around run to him and give him a hug and said "I did all of this so we could be together."  When he complains that he barely knows me and I am clearly and insane psycho, I will then break down crying and tell him of my ingenious foolproof plot of framing him for all his dead maids, butlers, etc.  He will then realize the error of his ways and we will jet off to his private island where we will live happily ever after until the rise of the monkeys, who will enslave us.  We will, of course, escape. But he gets injured and dies of the infection.  I will then become obsessed with revenge and research how to kill genius monkeys.  While doing research, I meet a new billionaire (because aren't they everywhere) and it turns out he created the monkeys to be a private army and they went rogue.  He says the only way to defeat them is true love. I roll my eyes and kill him and decide that satisfies my revenge because he created the monkeys.  I then run for President of the US, win unanimously and run the country better than it has ever been run before.  There is peace until my death at the age of 99 at which point civil war breaks out and everyone is killed and the world is taken over by genius monkeys.

[meep.meep]

2 hours ago, CoderLady said:

That's only a safe job if there are no rival super villains trying to knock each other off. The first thing a villain does when descending on his/her rival's massive mansion is to sneak up on and kill a bunch of unsuspecting henchmen in the most dramatic and messy fashion imaginable. And now I wonder: do henchmen have life insurance and survivor benefits?

I was kind of thinking of becoming the henchman with the heart of gold, not one of the expendable henchmen.  Insurance is a concern.  Do you suppose the evil overlord supplies all the hench outfits as well?  Because they always match.  You never have one henchman in a natty gray suit, and the other one in low rider jeans and big white T shirt with gold chains.  Avon Barksdale would not have it.

[CoderLady]

Ah, ha. The second-in-command henchman. That is the safest position, and the one who always escapes with the head honcho when the mansion gets raided. Good choice!

[Raja]

59 minutes ago, CoderLady said:

Ah, ha. The second-in-command henchman. That is the safest position, and the one who always escapes with the head honcho when the mansion gets raided. Good choice!

Not a chance.  He might survive a bit longer but he gets the most gruesome death. The guy who falls into the toxic waste on Robo-Cop being the prototype chief hood. Meanwhile he boss dies and his dead body continues to get shot by a machine gun 

[DearEvette]

1 hour ago, Raja said:

Not a chance.  He might survive a bit longer but he gets the most gruesome death. The guy who falls into the toxic waste on Robo-Cop being the prototype chief hood. Meanwhile he boss dies and his dead body continues to get shot by a machine gun 

This is so true.  And usually the Head Henchman is somehow cruelly betrayed by the Crime Lord just before he dies.  Like they are both running for he helicopter on the roof top helipad of their crime lair and Head Henchman is holding off the good guys so Crime Lord can get away and when Head Henchmen follows him onto the helipad, Crime Lord cold shuts the door in his face and the helicopter takes off, leaving Head Henchmen to die in a hail of bullets. 

[zxy556575]

8 hours ago, CoderLady said:

The first thing a villain does when descending on his/her rival's massive mansion is to sneak up on and kill a bunch of unsuspecting henchmen in the most dramatic and messy fashion imaginable.

But at least it's quick! Messily dispatching 4-5 henchpeople takes 60 seconds at most.

[Ohwell]

I thought this was an interesting article about tv show rents vs. real life rents for recent and past tv shows.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/graphics/entertainment/unrealistic-nyc-apartments/?hpid=hp_rhp-top-table-main_no-name%3Ahomepage%2Fstory&utm_term=.239bf684ac2e

Edited April 14, 2017 by Ohwell

[ChromaKelly]

Scenario - cops/superheroes/FBI agents tracking a Bad Guy who is killing people in some sort of pattern. Bad Guy kills maybe three people, the heroes start to recognize his pattern and are waiting for him to strike again. This time, the Bad Guy isn't just outright killing the victim, but is delaying for some reason. Has the victim tied up and is taking his time. The other ones, he just killed but there's always some sort of hold up with this last one so the heroes can get there in time and rescue the victim. Sometimes, the last victim is known to the heroes.