DisneyBoy

I wish we'd gotten scenes like this for Eric.

Yeah....MA isn''t doing so good.

They don't write "happy couple". It's like a rule.

Did Will get an exit scene after his quick return? I don't remember.

Every year? Awww. That's lovely. I am beyond upset that they seem to be positioning Rafe as the new man in Nicole life. Ew. She's waited forever to marry Eric. And they do this?

Maybe she was sitting there thinking, as we now are, "um.....so is THIS my last scene now....?" OMG, I just realized we're about to be free of BOTH Jennifer and Abigail....!!!

...I suppose because there has been a long-standing (and false) gendered use of the term. It's true that in media reports, I tend to hear more about men being molested/sexually abused/assaulted...but perhaps that's done in an effort not to further emasculate the victims since rape against men is already viewed as making them less of a man. Society has long perpetuated this idea that a man is by default stronger than a woman, "up for it" 24/7 and dominant. For a man to be not into a sexual encounter? For him to have been weaker or submissive? Victimised? Well, golly, that's not much of a man at all, now is it? So, to avoid further shaming the victims, they probably decide in the newsroom to use terms other than rape....also, so as to not confuse the portions of their viewership who may still think that rape can only happen to women. Consider how you rarely hear people say a man is "beautiful". It has become a gendered word, when its meaning is clearly not unique to females. "Pretty" as another one. Instead, we're sort of trained to say "boys are handsome" and that's that. Calling a man beautiful or pretty is seen as insulting their manliness, even though the meaning is still clear. He looks good. This may be why you haven't heard men describing themselves as being raped. The stigma of saying that word is greater in some ways for men because people will tend to roll their eyes. But men can be, and are, raped. I know I've heard the term used plenty over the years on Law & Order SVU with regards to male victims. I don't watch it anymore though. Depressing. And the writing and cast changes put me off. Here's an interesting article I just found about male rape stats, if you're curious: https://www.google.com/amp/s/amp.theatlantic.com/amp/article/503492/ Victims of Sandusky, men, were called survivors of rape. Here's a headline: https://www.google.com/amp/s/mobile.reuters.com/article/amp/idUSBRE85B03Q20120614 So the term is used. Maybe you haven't come across it though. Edit: The accounts in that Sandusky case are just heartbreaking...and also touch on the shame these guys felt, including "how do you tell your mother something like that?" 😞

How could this be an unpopular opinion? I'm 200% with you. Here's mine: I think I enjoy talking to you guys about this show more than the show itself.

LOLOLOLOL! I deserve that. But honestly, I wish we could get Mansi for all the scenes where Abs goes crazy. She just does it better. Miller looks like she spends her days watering plants.

I cannot believe I'm saying this...but if the character is needed for story reasons, I kind of hope that Mansi returns just so we can see how Gwen plays opposite the Psycho Abby we love to hate. **TEMPORARILY**

Good example. Prostate exams are also upsetting for men because it can potentially trigger a pleasurable feeling or erection but involves being digitally penetrated by a virtual stranger, often another man, which is for many completely taboo and shameful. Plenty of guys refuse/avoid them altogether, even though they're important for their health. There is s sense of violation there. So while men technically can't ever know what its like to be forcefully penetrated in a vaginal assault, it isn't too foreign a concept. Feeling violated, helpless, manipulated, used, unclean...those can be sadly universal experiences. On this show, though, the closest we've come to guys being permitted to have those feelings are Eric, whose nightmare flashbacks of being raped by Kristen were framed as his tormented fantasies about his repressed feelings for Nicole...something the audience was intended to find kinky somehow...and Nick's PTSD about being raped in prison, which I heard about from you guys more than saw on the show. How deep a dive was it?

Interesting. I see your issue now, regarding penetration, though of course men can also be on the receiving end, anally or orally, so forced penetration is not a uniquely female problem. .....this belief that men have to be "up for it", as you put it, makes me really uncomfortable. I'm guessing you don't know what it's like to walk around all day with a body part that can suddenly randomly change shape. It can happen for all sorts of reasons. There's plenty of shame that comes with that, believe me. Being erect does not mean you consent to anything and everything or that you're even horny. It's not that simple. I remember hearing some political figure say something about how women's bodies "have a way of shutting down/closing up to prevent rape so.....if yours didn't....thennnnn....." and it really repulsed me. Because no, that's not how it works. I think the same applies to the boner factor. So I see any non-consentual sex between partners, whether male or female, as wrong and use the term rape in a blanket way, so as to not minimize the trauma of the victim. But I also see how others may reserve that word for what they consider the most heinous version of that. I just don't know that we can reasonably break down the list of acts into Rape Rape / Regular Rape / Kinda Rapey and so on without missing the point and downplaying what should never be downplayed. I also want to extend the same sensitivity to men regarding this complex subject as is extended to women. John, Brady, Steve and Eric aren't written as survivors of rape precisely because of this pervasive notion that as guys they "had to be up for it". Their characters aren't informed by that shared experience because of a sexist belief that they couldn't have been as hurt as a woman by what happened to them. That does such a disservice to the audience and real victims.

Thanks guys. Tried to break it down as clearly as I could, based on what I've learned. And again, I'm definitely not trying to shade anyone here - its a tricky subject and honestly shows like this just make it worse sometimes. The "some part of the victim actually wanted it" trope is really disgusting and a dangerous message to put out into the world (Ex: Sami and EJ, Gabby-gail and Stefan, Brady and "Nicole", etc). I didn't realize Paulina was bringing another character onto the show, sorry, my bad. Still think that she's here for Abe though. Is it too much to hope Theo and Claire get back together? Her with Ben or even wanting Ben makes me ill. I LOLed at this big-time, thanks 🙂 Yeah, that one was definitely jarring....maybe getting hit by Donna's car did the stretching.

Jake has been a friend to Abby? I only like this Deal between the ladies because it ties back into their history in a very soapy way. They started out as friends. I don't like Gabi being positioned as the Evil Person who must help Holy Abigail because her innate goodness makes it impossible for her to conceive of a revenge plot on her own though. Come on. And did anyone else notice how they sidestepped Gabi reminding Abby how her twisted brain left Gabi to rot in jail and get beaten until she couldn't have kids anymore? Yeah. I did. It's the big reason Gabi hates her now. The Susan/Kristen stuff was painfully overplayed from a writing standpoint. When Reilly wrote this nobody immediately saw that Kristen was acting waaaay out of character. And now Lani, the moron, is already seeing through the switch? And Brady too? If Ron really wanted another Kristen in disguise plot, he'd have been better off letting AZ play her again since she's without a decent plot right now. I can't say enough how bad Sal is. Even after five years, she couldn't bring humor or subtlety or variety to her scenes with Stacy. So disappointing. And how the heck can you bring takeout to a friend in jail?? 🙄

Rape is about controlling another person. It doesn't have to be overtly violent either. Ava had Kayla locked up somewhere and ordered Steve to bone her. EJ also did the same thing, refusing to permit Sami to save Lucas unless she boned him. Neither victim was slapped, IIRC, but there was absolutely the threat of violence and death if Ava and EJ weren't obeyed. And then there's Eric getting drugged and raped. Kristen and EJ laughed it off because he was "uptight" so obviously, getting laid was a gift to him. But that was rape. Kristen pretending to be Nicole and boning Brady was also rape, purely because she misrepresented who she was and Brady couldn't make an informed decision. Had he consented to masked sex with someone, that'd be different. He thought it was really Nicole. Susan also raped John by pretending to be Kristen and boning him. He never called it rape...but that's what it was. There are a lot of problems with how rape is portrayed on this show...but it is especially disappointing how on TV and in real life men are thought of as being incapable of being victimized because their often involuntary physical reaction to stimulation is mistaken for consent. Bottom line - guys organs can get hard even if they're not into the sexual encounter. Being hard doesn't mean you aren't getting raped. I too once thought rape = violence....but that's not true. A rapist doesn't have to yell or leave bruises or hold a gun on you to be raping you. Young people are raped by adults who are being gentle...but are knowingly manipulating a child. That's why so many survivors of childhood abuse grow up confused and thinking they were complicit because "it felt good" or "he didn't hurt me". Putting it simply, if the other person cannot consent, its wrong. Rape is about forcing yourself on someone. Whether the other person screams or cries is irrelevant. To bring it back to soaps, Jake on Another World raped Marley...because he wanted to "show her how much he loved her". She was leaving him, their marriage was over. He couldn't accept that. He didn't punch her...he just didn't get that his desperate attempt to use sex as a solution was rape. I don't recall all the fine details (I watched the clip on YT only once), but I remember him expressing his determination to "show her his love", ignoring her feelings entirely. She wept and said "no", making it a more clear cut case of rape, as we've been conditioned to view it, but my point is that Jake wasn't setting out to punish her. He wasn't thinking of violence. That wasn't his aim. He just wanted her not to leave him. He was trying to physically convince her. But it still was rape. Sadly, a lot of people end up in situations where they are doing something wrong or having something wrong done to them, but because it doesn't present in a violent way, aren't able to see it for what it is: an assault. We really need to change that dynamic. Establishing consent is so important. I'm glad you voiced your opinion on this MSTREE and hope this is some food for thought. Just because it isn't aggressive doesn't mean it isn't rape. Just because someone doesn't scream out "Nooo!" doesn't mean it isn't rape. Just because the nerve endings responded with feelings of physical pleasure doesn't mean it wasn't rape. And especially on soaps...just because the victim and their attacker end up getting into a relationship or getting married doesn't mean it wasn't rape. Sigh.