S08.E09: That Was Weird

[film noire]

answered!

Edited February 15, 2018 by film noire

[BBHN]

Oh well.

Edited February 15, 2018 by BBHN

[AUJulia]

23 hours ago, CaughtOnTape said:

I think it's fairly obvious that Erika likes to play the victim.  She doesn't do it in a big way, like Dorit did last season, she's much more subtle with it.  She tries to make it look like she's this easygoing chick who doesn't get rattled by other chicks...but the fact is, she does.  She's SUPER DUPER sensitive when people say seemingly innocuous things.  Eileen making the comment about her son, pantygate last season and now this.  Erika likes getting up on her high horse and teaching the earthlings how you don't treat Queen Erika.  So it's not really shocking to me that she chose to believe Dorit - a woman she was completely at odds with last season for her opening her big mouth and exaggerating things - over Kyle - a woman who has repeatedly been her friend and supported her.   

Erika is not really as complicated as she makes herself out to be.  She's rather run of the mill and boring and no amount of princess crowns, ass cheek showing clothing or pink eye shadow will change that.

Note what triggers her:

~ comments about her son (guilt and shame about the years she left him?)

~ rude jokes about being exposed bc she was pantiless in a non-trashy (i.e. Non-Erika-Jayne) setting where she thought she would be showing her Classy Mrs Girardi side (guilt and shame that she might have embarrassed Tom? Or because she thinks she's in control of herself, but that time she wasn't?)

~ questions about her manners when she is a house guest who departs without telling the hostess how and why her plans have changed (guilt and shame because she knew better?)

She's used to sycophants. She said she had had enough petting, but actually she had expected nothing BUT petting and when she didn't get it, she wrapped herself in hurt feelings and barbed wire. 

[AUJulia]

2 hours ago, sistermagpie said:

I think because it's impossible not to. Everyone talks about mutual acquaintances--and plenty of them have claimed that the one thing they hate is when people do it. On this show they're paid to talk about what's going on on the show. You can't not talk about Erika just because she's not in the room. Not to mention I think a lot of people wouldn't even consider this kind of conversation ("that was weird--Erika said she was staying all day and her assistant just showed up and she left!") talking behind the person's back. 

I once caught a Dr Laura radio show in which a caller was outraged because her friend group had talked about her behind her back. Dr Laura asked if anything the friends had said was untrue, and when the caller said no, Dr Laura said you can't complain if your friends discuss factual information. (Obviously she excluded confidential info being disclosed.) She said if you don't want your inappropriate behavior discussed, don't engage in it. Words of wisdom for the HWs.

4 hours ago, Mindthinkr said:

Wasn’t LVP the lady who helped Dorit get onto this show to begin with? The phrase going through my head is “biting the hand that feeds you”. 

Did you catch Lisa's attempt at Teddi's to get things back on track when she said words to the effect that "this was why Teddi was reluctant to have us all here"? Like she felt responsible for talking her into hosting and like she thought Dorit was trying to retaliate for Teddi getting Lisa's empathy about the stemware nonsense. That Dorit, tsk. 

[AUJulia]

19 hours ago, zoeysmom said:

Actually she did let Teddi know  when she asked for the gate code.  Erika said she intended to stay and Teddi is essentially calling her a liar.  I guess what the beef is Erika did not tell Teddi sooner.   Laid back Teddi who just lets things roll. This is reoccurring with this group-someone or a group decide to leave and they get derided for not discussing it or giving proper notice.  What difference should it make to Teddi or anyone else if Erika decided to leave? Her room was used both as a changing area for Erika and sleeping quarters for Kyle.   She didn't make a big deal of it she made arrangements and left.  More appalling is no one, except maybe Dorit, asked how Erika was doing.  Erika had given them sufficient heads up she was not feeling well and most everyone pretty much blew her off.  The woman was crying and excused herself and Camille decided to pick a fight with Dorit over the weeks old "stupid c&nt" comment.  Teddi needed to be right about weird, not once thinking it was not a nice comment.  I would think Erika's feelings would outweigh Teddi's opinion. 

Far more appalling was Teddi cancelling the days events because her feelings were hurt that Erika didn't bow down to her insensitive comments.    

You're assuming that Teddi should have known why the assistant needed to come in. 

[Silo]

On 2/14/2018 at 3:00 AM, Avaleigh said:

I definitely think that Ericka planned to stay at the hotel all along. Ericka already knew that she wasn't feeling well. I don't get the impression at all that Ericka iwould go out of her way for these women and attempt to "tough it out" if she wasn't feeling well. As we heard tonight, Ericka does what Ericka wants to do. That certainly doesn't include toughing out a rough period so that she can hang out with the women she thinks of as clucking "hens".

I think she wanted her glam squad with her to make sure she looked camera ready in the morning and she knew it wouldn't work to bring them to Teddi's. She's made it clear multiple times that she prefers hanging out with them anyway.  

IMO Ericka came back because she still wanted to make sure that she got her camera time. To me, those were the actions of a woman who was putting in her time at work. I don't believe for a second that her top priority was making sure she didn't ruin Teddi's sheets. 

Also, regarding Erika being supposedly being uncomfortable about the focus of the conversation being about her period, she was the one who chose to bring it up. She could have said that she wasn't feeling well and left it at that. Instead, talking about being on her period gave me Sonja vibes. Like she wants everyone know that she's still at the age where she's dealing with this stuff. Sonja was more embarrassing and obvious about it but that's how it came across to me. Brandi pulled that silliness too. As if anyone cares whether or not these women are dealing with menstrual issues. 

 

I don’t understand Ericka either. The only thing that makes sense to me, since I’ve had some prior experience elsewhere dealing with people like this, is that she has suffered from some severe emotional trauma deep in her past and now she purposely has emotionally shut off from everyone and everything.  I can’t think of anything that would explain her cold, distant, superficial personality any better. I understand perhaps acting like that in the first season, but an emotionally healthy person would eventually become warmer and more open as time goes on. Ericka has not. And even more tellingly, she has made mention of this in her tagline: Some people may say I’m cold, but it’s not ice, it’s diamonds. This says to me, “I’m never opening up but I’m rich bitch, so I don’t care what anyone thinks. I can do what I want.” Meaning she’s never planning on becoming more dynamic or warm.

Edited February 15, 2018 by Silo

[bravofan27]

4 minutes ago, Silo said:

I don’t understand Ericka either. The only thing that makes sense to me, since I’ve had some prior experience elsewhere dealing with people like this, is that she has suffered from some severe emotional trauma deep in her past and now she’s emotionally shut off from everyone and everything.  I can’t think of anything that would explain her cold, distant, superficial personality any better. I understand perhaps acting like that in the first season, but an emotionally healthy person would eventually become warmer and more open as time goes on. Ericka has not. And even more tellingly, she has made mention of this in her tagline: Some people may say I’m cold, but it’s not ice, it’s diamonds. This says to me, “I’m never opening up but I’m rich bitch, so I don’t care what anyone thinks. I can do what I want.” Meaning she’s never planning on becoming more dynamic or warm.

Good read. I never thought much about her tagline as being any deeper than "I gotta lot of diamonds."

[Silo]

On 2/14/2018 at 12:17 PM, zoeysmom said:

Why should there be a debate about what Erika wanted to do when they were done filming?  Erika is being professional and meeting her filming commitments. Unlike Teddi who has twice had production cancel filming because she doesn't like how she was being treated.  First over the drinks with Dorit-who was late but en route and now an entire day of filming.  That means the crew doesn't get paid for scheduled filming, the restaurant where they would have brunched gets a big cancellation and the bike rental company gets stiffed.  All because Teddi doesn't feel like it and her feelings were hurt that Erika didn't want her touching her.

As to Erika calling her assistant, that again was professional.  Erika didn't have transportation, she didn't put anyone out and she arrived via her assistant the following day in a timely fashion.  

You’re right about all that but what strikes me is that Teddi had a very normal reaction to those situations if a film crew etc., had not been involved. She’s acting the way normal people would act if they had been stood up or had a very tense argument with someone. I’m actually enjoying the normalcy from her, though it probably won’t last because this is a TV show and not real life. TPTB will pet pressure on her because the show must go on. However, in the first situation, I blame Dorit for being late, not Teddi for being prompt lol.

Edited February 15, 2018 by Silo

[bravofan27]

41 minutes ago, film noire said:

answered!

And it's so clear now. lol.

[Silo]

On 2/14/2018 at 2:39 PM, MatildaMoody said:

Teddi's blog actually backs this up. Ericka stayed until the cameras were gone.  

From Teddi's blog:

Ok, so this makes sense. Erika did not want to stay and party with the ladies. She wanted to covertly leave and come back in the morning so to *the viewers* it would look like she stayed. I’m not sure why that so important to her...maybe she would be concerned she wasn’t fulfilling her camera time obligations? I dunno. Something about the story we’re given, about why she left or why the ladies care so much, doesn’t add up.

Maybe it will come out during the reunion, but I think the issue now is no one wants to break the 4th wall so we have incomplete information.

[Mr. Miner]

I like to think that what people say behind my back, is none of my god damn business.

[SweetieDarling]

58 minutes ago, Silo said:

Ok, so this makes sense. Erika did not want to stay and party with the ladies. She wanted to covertly leave and come back in the morning so to *the viewers* it would look like she stayed. I’m not sure why that so important to her...maybe she would be concerned she wasn’t fulfilling her camera time obligations? I dunno. Something about the story we’re given, about why she left or why the ladies care so much, doesn’t add up.

Maybe it will come out during the reunion, but I think the issue now is no one wants to break the 4th wall so we have incomplete information.

I am not an Erika fan, but maybe she assumed others might be heading to hotels as well, since the option was left open in the lengthy text invite, and, so, felt no need to explain herself.

Why couldn't they show the footage of the women having fun and laughing together instead of torturing us with the Hadidn'ts? 

[WireWrap]

3 hours ago, Jel said:

I think any reasonable person would conclude that saying "that behavior was weird" is, at the very least, not a compliment.  Maybe I am overly sensitive, but if I found out that my friends or colleagues said that about something I'd done, I'd feel taken aback by it, and probably a little defensive, as I think Erika feels. Plus, she has a real sore spot about being discussed when she isn't there. We saw that last year, and I don't understand why they wouldn't know that it would bother her. Did they know, did they forget there was a camera there, did they drink too much and slip up?  It's odd to me. I also think if the shoe were on the other foot and the other ladies were getting their buttons pushed, that would be an issue as well.  They couldn't discuss, say, (and just as an example) Kyle's husband's cheating accusations without Kyle getting upset, right?  I just don't see why they are okay with one and not the other. 

I haven't seen their job description, so I don't know what their job is. Does it mention anything about the number of things they are supposed to say about each other?

No one used the word "weird" until after Erika came back in the morning and it used it in response to a question from Erika. As I said in an earlier post, the others could have used much stronger words to describe Erika leaving without telling anyone, Rude, Spoiled, Entitled, Bitch Move, ect. 

Erika has no right to demand that no one to talk about her behind her back when she does it to every single one of them, especially since no one said anything bad or nasty about her that night. 

These women are on a TV show, one that is centered on their relationships with each other. They are expected to comment on each other, heck, they are even interviewed by a producer and their comments are then featured in talking head segments throughout each episode.

[HunterHunted]

2 hours ago, Silo said:

I don’t understand Ericka either. The only thing that makes sense to me, since I’ve had some prior experience elsewhere dealing with people like this, is that she has suffered from some severe emotional trauma deep in her past and now she purposely has emotionally shut off from everyone and everything.  I can’t think of anything that would explain her cold, distant, superficial personality any better. I understand perhaps acting like that in the first season, but an emotionally healthy person would eventually become warmer and more open as time goes on. Ericka has not. And even more tellingly, she has made mention of this in her tagline: Some people may say I’m cold, but it’s not ice, it’s diamonds. This says to me, “I’m never opening up but I’m rich bitch, so I don’t care what anyone thinks. I can do what I want.” Meaning she’s never planning on becoming more dynamic or warm.

 

A lot of this makes sense because it's clear she never developed the type of thick skin you need to constantly audition and be rejected. She does have this fundamental insecurity which is why she lets Mikey's terrible taste and ideas substitute for her own, why she lets conspicuous designer labels demonstrate that she's stylish, why she's cold and withholding until someone demonstrates that they actually like her, and why she does weird shit like not telling her host that she's leaving.

I get the period thing. I have horrendous issues on that front. I've passed out numerous times from pain. I've passed out numerous times from blood loss. I've since developed fibroids in the past 2 years and bled for a solid month every year. But one of the signs that I was fucking grown was my ability to just tell people what was wrong rather than dance around it. Erika is insecure and immature. She's so fearful of being judged that she does strange things to avoid it and is cold to protect herself against judgement.

The dumb thing is that had she been honest with all of the ladies, it's doubtful that any of them would have had shit to say about her staying at the hotel. And if they did, they would have revealed themselves to be hateful cows on the wrong side of this argument.

Additionally, this isn't a defense of Dorit's verbal diarrhea. I think after panty-gate, Dorit has decided to overshare when it comes to Housewives shit. However, discretion bitch! Discretion.

Edited February 15, 2018 by HunterHunted

[Carolina Girl]

24 minutes ago, WireWrap said:

Erika has no right to demand that no one to talk about her behind her back when she does it to every single one of them

I was wondering when someone might mention that......

[AUJulia]

4 hours ago, Jel said:

I'm no saint, sistermagpie, but I can say for sure that I never talk about one friend's behavior (weird or otherwise) with another friend.  Mainly because, to me, it feels like that would be starting something. If one of my friends said, "It was weird how x did y", I'd wonder why she brought that up. It seems very middle school to me.  I could definitely see doing it about someone who isn't my friend.  I guess I see it as a mildly hostile act. 

As to your other point, I agree that many people wouldn't think much of a comment like that, except that *I*, a mere viewer, know that Erika is very touchy about being discussed when she isn't there, so that would make me even more careful about saying anything about her to anyone.  The whole thing caused a little side-eyeing for me.

Yes, but...

I can see how it came up in the context of "why did she leave? why did she not tell us she was leaving and why?" because they're first exploring whether anyone is aware of anything that may have upset her, and once they exhaust that and conclude that it's a mystery, it's natural to say "well, that was weird" or "that seems rude."  Both comments seem to (very naturally) express confusion over Erika's departure. When she confronted Teddi and heard that Teddi found it weird, Erika could have just asked why it was weird, and I'm sure she'd have been given a full explanation, but if you need to be hurt or mad, you just skip the part where you ask for clarification and proceed directly to High Dudgeon. 

[jaync]

Quote

VanderToe

I'd pat it. And her big 'donk, too.

[KungFuBunny]

Matt Sarafa, Kyle's godson.

He's the designer Kyle was speaking to

[Jel]

24 minutes ago, AUJulia said:

Yes, but...

I can see how it came up in the context of "why did she leave? why did she not tell us she was leaving and why?" because they're first exploring whether anyone is aware of anything that may have upset her, and once they exhaust that and conclude that it's a mystery, it's natural to say "well, that was weird" or "that seems rude."  Both comments seem to (very naturally) express confusion over Erika's departure. When she confronted Teddi and heard that Teddi found it weird, Erika could have just asked why it was weird, and I'm sure she'd have been given a full explanation, but if you need to be hurt or mad, you just skip the part where you ask for clarification and proceed directly to High Dudgeon. 

I think the nutshell, bottom line of this whole thing, for me, is this: If you were in Erika's shoes, and you saw the footage of what the women were saying , would you feel at all uncomfortable about it? (I know I would.)  And I think they know by now that Erika would, so it makes me wonder why they did it.  

Sure, I think Erika has "issues". But lots of people do. I know to steer clear of certain topics/behaviors with certain people. And they do with me.  I can't be the only person like this!  Maybe it's a Canadian thing...shrug.

(Cut to scene of my friends at lunch discussing how weird I am. ;)

[Double A]

5 hours ago, MMLEsq said:

I waded through all 8 pages just to make sure the question hadn't already been asked and answered before posting.

Don't you hate that:) Although I'm not sure Dorit knows how much she's stepped in it w/ LVP.

[KungFuBunny]

2 minutes ago, Jel said:

I think the nutshell, bottom line of this whole thing, for me, is this: If you were in Erika's shoes, and you saw the footage of what the women were saying , would you feel at all uncomfortable about it? (I know I would.)  And I think they know by now that Erika would, so it makes me wonder why they did it.  

Sure, I think Erika has "issues". But lots of people do. I know to steer clear of certain topics/behaviors with certain people. And they do with me.  I can't be the only person like this!  Maybe it's a Canadian thing...shrug.

(Cut to scene of my friends at lunch discussing how weird I am. ;)

It's not like Teddi had to do extra work because Erika left. Kyle took the room. 

Can you imagine if Erika stayed and LVP tried to give Erika a wedgie? Erika Jayne would have knocked her the fuck out.

[WireWrap]

24 minutes ago, Jel said:

I think the nutshell, bottom line of this whole thing, for me, is this: If you were in Erika's shoes, and you saw the footage of what the women were saying , would you feel at all uncomfortable about it? (I know I would.)  And I think they know by now that Erika would, so it makes me wonder why they did it.  

Sure, I think Erika has "issues". But lots of people do. I know to steer clear of certain topics/behaviors with certain people. And they do with me.  I can't be the only person like this!  Maybe it's a Canadian thing...shrug.

(Cut to scene of my friends at lunch discussing how weird I am. ;)

Nahh, no one said anything mean/bad about Erika. They said they missed her, wished she had stayed the night to party with them and found her not telling them she was leaving weird. That's it, there was nothing else, even by Dorit's sad attempt at twisting it, no one said anything unkind/mean/nasty about Erika. So, had I been able to hear the actual words my "friends" said about me after someone tried to twist it into something nefarious, I would have been fine with their comments and upset at the one trying to cause issues between me and the others. But then again, I am not Erika who is once again going for the victim role this season. 

Also, notice that Dorit only throws Teddi/Kyle under Erika's bus, not Lisa or Camille. And, it was Kyle/Teddi that Dorit was having issues with (glassgate). LOL

[bosawks]

I’m not going to lie but when Ericka was dabbing the corner of each eye in the kitchen I really wanted Eileen to pop out of a closet and mention Ericka’s son.

[princelina]

6 hours ago, bravofan27 said:

I thought Lisa looked like she gained a bit of weight, but maybe its a sign she isn't feeling that good in general. If she isn't finding the energy to watch her weight, she might not be finding the energy to put together outfits either. But it might be the weight gain is keeping her from wanting to put on clothes, but I think she would still care about putting together her outfits if she was feeling mentally well. 

I think she looks like she gained weight too (just a little!) But a lot of her clothes are very fitted - maybe she only has certain ones that fit her now and has a harder time putting together an outfit, but doesn't want to go buy bigger sizes as long as she has ones that fit.  That's what I'm going through right now, and I'm sure it's as aggravating to a BH matron as it is to a suburban chub-chub!

[Jel]

26 minutes ago, WireWrap said:

Nahh, no one said anything mean/bad about Erika. They said they missed her, wished she had stayed the night to party with them and found her not telling them she was leaving weird. That's it, there was nothing else, even by Dorit's sad attempt at twisting it, no one said anything unkind/mean/nasty about Erika. So, had I been able to hear the actual words my "friends" said about me after someone tried to twist it into something nefarious, I would have been fine with their comments and upset at the one trying to cause issues between me and the others. But then again, I am not Erika who is once again going for the victim role this season. 

Also, notice that Dorit only throws Teddi/Kyle under Erika's bus, not Lisa or Camille. And, it was Kyle/Teddi that Dorit was having issues with (glassgate). LOL

I think Dorit is still a little bitter about Kyle taking up for Teddi on the boat --  sometimes people say they are fine with something when they really aren't.

[blondmommy]

i think erika was just having stomach problems, and probably did't want to share a bathroom.  who knows what these women would say on camera if she really smelled up the place.  

i'd leave too.

[KungFuBunny]

46 minutes ago, bosawks said:

I’m not going to lie but when Ericka was dabbing the corner of each eye in the kitchen I really wanted Eileen to pop out of a closet and mention Ericka’s son.

How about a little Joey Lawrence - wow! instead?

[WireWrap]

15 minutes ago, Jel said:

I think Dorit is still a little bitter about Kyle taking up for Teddi on the boat --  sometimes people say they are fine with something when they really aren't.

Oh you know she isn't over it! She is going to try and make sure that she doesn't take the heat on anything (even when it is her fault) this season. LOL

7 minutes ago, blondmommy said:

i think erika was just having stomach problems, and probably did't want to share a bathroom.  who knows what these women would say on camera if she really smelled up the place.  

i'd leave too.

All but Teddi knew about her horrid period, as she filled them in when she got to the beach house and they all commiserated with her. Also, no one had a problem with her leaving per say, they just found it sad/odd that she left so abruptly and without telling them, that's it. 

[sistermagpie]

1 hour ago, Jel said:

I think the nutshell, bottom line of this whole thing, for me, is this: If you were in Erika's shoes, and you saw the footage of what the women were saying , would you feel at all uncomfortable about it? (I know I would.)  And I think they know by now that Erika would, so it makes me wonder why they did it.  

Nobody on the show ever spends much time avoiding things they think another person won't like. That's central to the premise of the show. (Also remember that these women were together for hours and hours so most of what they do probably isn't on camera--most people who do these shows admit that it's scary how quickly they forget they're being filmed.) They do interviews where they're supposed to talk about things candidly and it's where they get the most catty a lot of the time. Erika does it too, and she's probably also said plenty of things that made others just as uncomfortable. In this case they weren't even saying anything that would create a problem. That was on Dorit who even took care to twist it into something Erika needed to know because she was going to have to deal with it. She said Kyle and Teddi were mad that she left, implying that Erika was in a fight and that's how Erika treated it.

[sol y luna]

8 hours ago, jaync said:

Because that wouldn't be...

The necklace shows exactly what she is.

[Jel]

21 minutes ago, sistermagpie said:

Nobody on the show ever spends much time avoiding things they think another person won't like. That's central to the premise of the show. (Also remember that these women were together for hours and hours so most of what they do probably isn't on camera--most people who do these shows admit that it's scary how quickly they forget they're being filmed.) They do interviews where they're supposed to talk about things candidly and it's where they get the most catty a lot of the time. Erika does it too, and she's probably also said plenty of things that made others just as uncomfortable. In this case they weren't even saying anything that would create a problem. That was on Dorit who even took care to twist it into something Erika needed to know because she was going to have to deal with it. She said Kyle and Teddi were mad that she left, implying that Erika was in a fight and that's how Erika treated it.

I think they do avoid certain topics and each HW has one or two that are off limits. And if they do get broached, most of the time it's a one time deal because the fall out is pretty bad.  

I disagree that what they said wasn't a problem for Erika (and that it was Dorit's telling of it that was the sole cause the problem) because she wrote her blog after the episode aired, and she still seems a little salty about it. She saw what they said on that epi and she doesn't seem to be okay with it -- that's the impression I get from her blog anyway.  People are entitled to their feelings, she's entitled to set her own boundaries, and the other HWs get to choose whether or not they abide by them.  Rightly or wrongly, one of hers is don't talk about her (in an unflattering way) when she's not present.   The other HWs don't seem to share that particular button, but best not mention Kyle's problems with her sisters or Rinna's husband. Those buttons have been identified and not pressed since.

[gundysgirl]

7 hours ago, Sai said:

Erika is a bitch.  She gets her feelings all hurt and Teddi genuinely apoligizes and Erika is just nasty even making Teddi cry.  When Teddi explains that Erika hurt her feeling Erika is all like, oh well that's me being hurt.  No apology.  She has no compassion.  She doesn't care that she hurt Teddi's feelings but on boy, you better grovel at her feet if you do anything that she doesn't like.  Bitch!  Even when she was leaving Teddi's house and Teddi said again that her feelings were hurt.  Still...nothing!  Absolute nothing from Erika.  She just nodded her head and said ok.  Total bitch.  And at dinner she's saying Erika does whatever Erika wants.  Must be nice.  I wish I could do whatever I wanted but alas, I know we live in a society and being polite and kind and apologizing for hurting someone's feeling even when we don't want to is just the proper thing to do.  Maybe I should take a page from Erika's book.  I'll fly down to Beverly Hills and punch the stuck up, self absorbed bitch right in her over made up face and when she starts bawling I'll just say, Sai does whatever Sai wants to do and punching you in your face is exactly what I wanted to do.  How do you like that?!

I see your point, and Erika could have been more gracious towards Teddi in that moment, but remember that Dorit had just told her that they were talking about her and that they were "mad" at her. So she doesn't know exactly what was said (we don't either - we only saw a small part of it). She didn't know what got filmed and what all was said about her. But she does know that supposedly Teddi was "mad". So Erika believes she is the wronged party, but Teddi is the one who is upset. Possibly in Erika's eyes because she has been exposed in talking about her. In that moment Erika doesn't particularly care how Teddi feels because she was the one who they were gossiping about. But the thing that surprised me was later, at the dinner. Teddi knows that Erika is touchy about it all, yet she still repeats at dinner that it was all "weird". Just let it go. Erika wasn't saying anything bad about Teddi in that moment. All in all, there is a lot of wrong to go around. 

[princelina]

1 hour ago, blondmommy said:

i think erika was just having stomach problems, and probably did't want to share a bathroom.  who knows what these women would say on camera if she really smelled up the place.  

i'd leave too.

I kind of agree with you - but I'd have excused myself to my hostess (and pretended it was bc of my bad period :)

[bagger]

ERIca is the type of woman who doesn’t like to admit someone got the best of her and at this point after seeing the footage she will never admit that dorit gaslit her. She will stick to her narrative come hell or high water!

[gundysgirl]

Like someone else earlier said, I thought the huge breach of privacy by Dorit regarding LVP was going to be something much bigger than it was. 

Edited February 16, 2018 by gundysgirl

[WireWrap]

30 minutes ago, Jel said:

I think they do avoid certain topics and each HW has one or two that are off limits. And if they do get broached, most of the time it's a one time deal because the fall out is pretty bad.  

I disagree that what they said wasn't a problem for Erika (and that it was Dorit's telling of it that was the sole cause the problem) because she wrote her blog after the episode aired, and she still seems a little salty about it. She saw what they said on that epi and she doesn't seem to be okay with it -- that's the impression I get from her blog anyway.  People are entitled to their feelings, she's entitled to set her own boundaries, and the other HWs get to choose whether or not they abide by them.  Rightly or wrongly, one of hers is don't talk about her (in an unflattering way) when she's not present.   The other HWs don't seem to share that particular button, but best not mention Kyle's problems with her sisters or Rinna's husband. Those buttons have been identified and not pressed since.

Yes, they do avoid certain topics but they still talk about each other and Erika brought up her horrible period as  a topic of conversation herself and again, no one said anything bad about hrt, no one. Erika is "salty" about this just like she was "salty" about pantygate even though Eileen/Rinna brought up the subject the most and Eileen made the most crude joke about her yet she didn't hold Eileen accountable at all. 

If Erika doesn't want anyone to talk about her in an "unflattering way" then she needs to zip her lips when it comes to her comments about the others, she is just as judgy in her comments against them, even when she wasn't present for the initial conversation. Erika doesn't get special treatment, she isn't special except in her own mind. 

22 minutes ago, gundysgirl said:

I see your point, and Erika could have been more gracious towards Teddi in that moment, but remember that Dorit had just told her that they were talking about her and that they were "mad" at her. So she doesn't know exactly what was said (we don't either - we only saw a small part of it). She didn't know what got filmed and what all was said about her. But she does know that supposedly Teddi was "mad". So Erika believes she is the wronged party, but Teddi is the one who is upset. Possibly in Erika's eyes because she has been exposed in talking about her. In that moment Erika doesn't particularly care how Teddi feels because she was the one who they were gossiping about. But the thing that surprised me was later, at the dinner. Teddi knows that Erika is touchy about it all, yet she still repeats at dinner that it was all "weird". Just let it go. Erika wasn't saying anything bad about Teddi in that moment. All in all, there is a lot of wrong to go around. 

Erika only knew what Dorit told her and she didn't give anyone the chance to say/explain anything, she cut them off. Erika wanted to be insulted, she wants to be the victim and she is relying on the person she trusted the least just a few episodes ago, WHY? 

Oh, and the HWs get a copy of the episode 1 week before we get to see it on Bravo and it is the exact same episode we watch, nothing more or less. So, given that Erika heard no one speak badly or make nasty comments about her that night again suggests that she is going for the "poor me" victim again this season. 

[Martinigirl]

Hotel-gate....the original message from Teddie stated there was a hotel as an option. The only thing weird was Teddie saying it was weird.

Let's talk about weird....Teddie's fugly kitchen! Now that was weird! 

[sistermagpie]

49 minutes ago, Jel said:

I think they do avoid certain topics and each HW has one or two that are off limits. And if they do get broached, most of the time it's a one time deal because the fall out is pretty bad.  

Yeah, but there's a difference between avoiding certain topics and not ever talk about Erika no matter what.

 

50 minutes ago, Jel said:

I disagree that what they said wasn't a problem for Erika (and that it was Dorit's telling of it that was the sole cause the problem) because she wrote her blog after the episode aired, and she still seems a little salty about it. She saw what they said on that epi and she doesn't seem to be okay with it -- that's the impression I get from her blog anyway. 

The episode also contained the fights that happened afterwards and Teddi getting defensive etc. But I think the idea is more that sure Erika might still have had a problem if she'd only seen the tape because she's very sensitive and nobody wants to hear themselves talked about in a way that isn't explicitly complimentary. That's why she shouldn't have been told about it, since none of the women were actually mad at her and hadn't said anything truly mean about her. If that's her button, don't run up to her and tell her people were talking about her and make it sound as bad as possible. She knows she's on the show and therefore people are talking about her, just as she's talking about them.

6 minutes ago, Martinigirl said:

Hotel-gate....the original message from Teddie stated there was a hotel as an option. The only thing weird was Teddie saying it was weird.

She wasn't saying it was weird that she left, she was saying that the manner in which she left, in Teddi's view, was weird. Everyone agreed Erika was welcome to sleep wherever she wanted. Whether or not her exit was the way Teddi described it we don't know, but that was the thing Teddi was describing as weird.

[Martinigirl]

10 minutes ago, WireWrap said:

Yes, they do avoid certain topics but they still talk about each other and Erika brought up her horrible period as  a topic of conversation herself and again, no one said anything bad about hrt, no one. Erika is "salty" about this just like she was "salty" about pantygate even though Eileen/Rinna brought up the subject the most and Eileen made the most crude joke about her yet she didn't hold Eileen accountable at all. 

If Erika doesn't want anyone to talk about her in an "unflattering way" then she needs to zip her lips when it comes to her comments about the others, she is just as judgy in her comments against them, even when she wasn't present for the initial conversation. Erika doesn't get special treatment, she isn't special except in her own mind. 

Erika only knew what Dorit told her and she didn't give anyone the chance to say/explain anything, she cut them off. Erika wanted to be insulted, she wants to be the victim and she is relying on the person she trusted the least just a few episodes ago, WHY? 

Oh, and the HWs get a copy of the episode 1 week before we get to see it on Bravo and it is the exact same episode we watch, nothing more or less. So, given that Erika heard no one speak badly or make nasty comments about her that night again suggests that she is going for the "poor me" victim again this season. 

Erika was insulted...

Teddi - I wasn't the only one talking about you leaving...I only said it was weird. (two insults in one sentence)

Erika wanted to be insulted? She WAS insulted!

3 minutes ago, sistermagpie said:

Yeah, but there's a difference between avoiding certain topics and not ever talk about Erika no matter what.

 

The episode also contained the fights that happened afterwards and Teddi getting defensive etc. But I think the idea is more that sure Erika might still have had a problem if she'd only seen the tape because she's very sensitive and nobody wants to hear themselves talked about in a way that isn't explicitly complimentary. That's why she shouldn't have been told about it, since none of the women were actually mad at her and hadn't said anything truly mean about her. If that's her button, don't run up to her and tell her people were talking about her and make it sound as bad as possible. She knows she's on the show and therefore people are talking about her, just as she's talking about them.

She wasn't saying it was weird that she left, she was saying that the manner in which she left, in Teddi's view, was weird. Everyone agreed Erika was welcome to sleep wherever she wanted. Whether or not her exit was the way Teddi described it we don't know, but that was the thing Teddi was describing as weird.

Maybe it was the kitchen decor making her sick and she didn't want to insult Teddie with the truth..... :)

[Chit Chat]

IMO, it boils down to this: Dorit was the turd in the punchbowl of this party!  She certainly made a mountain out of a molehill.  Ridiculous.  

[AUJulia]

3 hours ago, Jel said:

I think the nutshell, bottom line of this whole thing, for me, is this: If you were in Erika's shoes, and you saw the footage of what the women were saying , would you feel at all uncomfortable about it? (I know I would.)  And I think they know by now that Erika would, so it makes me wonder why they did it.  

Sure, I think Erika has "issues". But lots of people do. I know to steer clear of certain topics/behaviors with certain people. And they do with me.  I can't be the only person like this!  Maybe it's a Canadian thing...shrug.

(Cut to scene of my friends at lunch discussing how weird I am. ;)

Nah. I don't coddle people who are overly (and hypocritically) sensitive. Part of interacting with people is that sometimes they can't read your mind or they get drunk and act goofy. Short of viciousness, which didn't happen, she needed to clarify and calm her tits. YMMV

[yourmomiseasy]

1 hour ago, Jel said:

I think they do avoid certain topics and each HW has one or two that are off limits. And if they do get broached, most of the time it's a one time deal because the fall out is pretty bad.  

I disagree that what they said wasn't a problem for Erika (and that it was Dorit's telling of it that was the sole cause the problem) because she wrote her blog after the episode aired, and she still seems a little salty about it. She saw what they said on that epi and she doesn't seem to be okay with it -- that's the impression I get from her blog anyway.  People are entitled to their feelings, she's entitled to set her own boundaries, and the other HWs get to choose whether or not they abide by them.  Rightly or wrongly, one of hers is don't talk about her (in an unflattering way) when she's not present.   The other HWs don't seem to share that particular button, but best not mention Kyle's problems with her sisters or Rinna's husband. Those buttons have been identified and not pressed since.

If Erika doesn't want to be gossiped about behind her back then she shouldn't partake in gossip behind others backs.  Two examples shown recently: in the Facetime call with Rinna in the car on the way to Dana Point Ericka initiated gossip about Kyle and Dorit; in the current episode as soon as Ericka sits down at lunch/dinner in NY she is the one that initiates the gossip with "Did you fill her in on the latest and greatest?"

[gundysgirl]

41 minutes ago, WireWrap said:

Erika only knew what Dorit told her and she didn't give anyone the chance to say/explain anything, she cut them off. Erika wanted to be insulted, she wants to be the victim and she is relying on the person she trusted the least just a few episodes ago, WHY? 

Oh, and the HWs get a copy of the episode 1 week before we get to see it on Bravo and it is the exact same episode we watch, nothing more or less. So, given that Erika heard no one speak badly or make nasty comments about her that night again suggests that she is going for the "poor me" victim again this season. 

But Dorit made it sound dire. She was all nervous acting when she brought it up. Acted like it was this huge deal. Erika kept trying to calm her down. "Just tell me" she had to say several times, as Dorit walked around in circles wringing her hands like she had to give her some really bad news. She made it sound ominous. She acted upset and conflicted, like she was terribly burdened. And since you rightly mention that Erika saw exactly what we saw, that isn't saying very much. We saw a couple of sentences. I would imagine the conversation went on longer. I have no idea if more was said (according to Dorit more was said, because people were "mad"). And according to Dorit, Kyle in particular had a lot to say, and since we didn't really see Kyle say much at all, is there more? I have zero idea, but my guess is that Erika thinks she was talked about poorly. Because of that bitch Dorit. She is the one who is to blame here. My guess is that if Dorit hadn't said anything, we would have never seen that footage, since it was filmed after the camera crew left for the night, probably by a Producer. 

[WireWrap]

34 minutes ago, Martinigirl said:

Erika was insulted...

Teddi - I wasn't the only one talking about you leaving...I only said it was weird. (two insults in one sentence)

Erika wanted to be insulted? She WAS insulted!

Maybe it was the kitchen decor making her sick and she didn't want to insult Teddie with the truth..... :)

Yes, Erika wanted to be "insulted", in other words, she wants to play the victim. 

23 minutes ago, ChitChat said:

IMO, it boils down to this: Dorit was the turd in the punchbowl of this party!  She certainly made a mountain out of a molehill.  Ridiculous.  

Yes, Dorit made a mountain out of a mole hill and Erika is turning that mountain into an erupting volcano!

2 minutes ago, gundysgirl said:

But Dorit made it sound dire. She was all nervous acting when she brought it up. Acted like it was this huge deal. Erika kept trying to calm her down. "Just tell me" she had to say several times, as Dorit walked around in circles wringing her hands like she had to give her some really bad news. She made it sound ominous. She acted upset and conflicted, like she was terribly burdened. And since you rightly mention that Erika saw exactly what we saw, that isn't saying very much. We saw a couple of sentences. I would imagine the conversation went on longer. I have no idea if more was said (according to Dorit more was said, because people were "mad"). And according to Dorit, Kyle in particular had a lot to say, and since we didn't really see Kyle say much at all, is there more? I have zero idea, but my guess is that Erika thinks she was talked about poorly. Because of that bitch Dorit. She is the one who is to blame here. My guess is that if Dorit hadn't said anything, we would have never seen that footage, since it was filmed after the camera crew left for the night, probably by a Producer. 

Yes, Dorit made it sound dire but Erika is well aware of Dorit's love of exaggeration, so she should not have trusted Dorit. Erika didn't allow anyone to explain anything said that night, she went into indignant victim role right away and according to her blog, she is going to make the others pay for their comments. And, she is making that threat after seeing/hearing that no one said anything unkind about her. Of course, she is ignoring that Dorit made the same kind of comments about Erika leaving that the others did but like last season, she is refusing to hold Dorit (her team) accountable for what she condemns the others for doing. 

[Martinigirl]

Kyle flat out asked Dorit (on their drive home) if she singled out just Kyle on the Erika bashing. Kyle says that even you (Dorit) were in on the Erika bashing. How does Dorit respond? "Eh, it's no big deal"

Edited February 16, 2018 by Martinigirl

[princelina]

<Knock Knock Knock>

Dorit:  Who is it?

Camille:  It’s the “Stupid c*nt” and she’s coming for you, Betch.

 

^^^The above is my funniest moment from MisRed's TrashTalk recap :) :) :)

[Martinigirl]

On 2/14/2018 at 3:26 PM, bichonblitz said:

Still waiting for Dorit to get her ass handed to her. She just opens her big fat mouth and everybody stands back. Rinna never got away with it, why should she? Kyle should have been a whole hell of a lot more pissed off than she was. Poor Teds. This group is just not her thing. 

She can't, her DH is selling Dorit's house.

[Jel]

28 minutes ago, AUJulia said:

Nah. I don't coddle people who are overly (and hypocritically) sensitive. Part of interacting with people is that sometimes they can't read your mind or they get drunk and act goofy. Short of viciousness, which didn't happen, she needed to clarify and calm her tits. YMMV

It sounds like your line is viciousness and seemingly Erika's is well short of that.  But a boundary is a boundary and we all get to set our own.  She could have handled it differently, but so could have any of them, especially the hostess.

[hoodooznoodooz]

So when Erika tipped the porter at the hotel in NY, did she give him a hundred then joke that he should  give her 80 back? Because that would have made me come back with 80, just in case she wasn't joking.

That hotel in NY -- just me, or did it seem kind of average?

[kokapetl]

I think it was considerate/wise of Erika to leave early and go to hotel, blood or no blood. She seems like a mean emotional drunk, she would’ve make a scene.

I also think Erika feels uncomfortable in a domestic situations with no domestic staff. She likes to live in a material world where, to the maximum extent humanly possible, all her needs are met by financial transactions. Favours and friendships and give and take are uncomfortable for her.

Also, Kyle wears thongs. Gross. 

Edited February 16, 2018 by Kokapetl