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S05.E05: Buddy's Big Secret


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Buddy goes missing for over a week and Whitney uncovers the harsh truth during a visit to his parents' house; Ashley starts to fall apart as she comes close to giving birth, so Whitney performs a blessing ceremony to help her.

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Nothing about Ashley's attitude or demeanor on the show suggests that, even if she were getting more nervous about labor and delivery, she would want a blessing ceremony from Whitney.  I can practically hear her talking to Whitney. "You want to do what? What's that? No, tell me exactly what you want to do? No, don't tell me it'll all be great, I want to know. I don't want to look like a fool on the show,  Whitney. I'll do it for you, but on two conditions - You don't go smelling anything at all and I don't have to pretend I believe in it."

Edited by Ketzel
  • Love 11
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16 minutes ago, Me from ME said:

Why the hell does Twitney think she is qualified to do a blessing ceremony? (Oh yeah, Ju-Bu.)

Given Twit's propensities, I'm sure she spells it Jew-Boo.

  • Love 15
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On 1/26/2018 at 7:21 PM, MrHufflepuff said:

I thought Buddy's BIG SECRET was that his room was clean?  Are you telling me there's an even BIGGER SECRET?  I don't think I can take this much excitement!

Brace yourself, Mr Hufflepuff. I wouldn't want you to have a heart attack.

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My thoughts even before it airs: Whitney has no idea what's "going on with Buddy" because she's a self centered asshole. In the previews, she seems surprised anything was wrong and then with her and the crying? Sod off! She might want to try paying attention to her friends before a situation becomes this serious. I swear, this woman will never get it. 

  • Love 14
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6 hours ago, MrHufflepuff said:

If I do have a heart attack, would I go to the mental hospital or the regular hospital?

Hey, if a doc-in-a-box was good enough for Whitney, it's good enough for you, mister! :-)

  • Love 8
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16 hours ago, TurtlePower said:

My thoughts even before it airs: Whitney has no idea what's "going on with Buddy" because she's a self centered asshole. In the previews, she seems surprised anything was wrong and then with her and the crying? Sod off! She might want to try paying attention to her friends before a situation becomes this serious. I swear, this woman will never get it. 

Right? Buddy is supposedly one of her best friends in the entire world and lives with her and she had no idea that there is something wrong with him? Look at him, he looks and sounds like absolute shit, obviously something is wrong with him, I suspect issues with drugs and/or alcohol.

I've said it before and I still firmly believe it, I think Whit is a serious alcoholic and the reason she didn't notice anything "wrong" with Buddy is they were getting drunk and eating together every night so nothing seemed off.

  • Love 18
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31 minutes ago, John M said:

Right? Buddy is supposedly one of her best friends in the entire world and lives with her and she had no idea that there is something wrong with him? Look at him, he looks and sounds like absolute shit, obviously something is wrong with him, I suspect issues with drugs and/or alcohol.

I've said it before and I still firmly believe it, I think Whit is a serious alcoholic and the reason she didn't notice anything "wrong" with Buddy is they were getting drunk and eating together every night so nothing seemed off.

Can you imagine her braying when she’s drunk???!!!!!!

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53 minutes ago, Kid said:

Can you imagine her braying when she’s drunk???!!!!!!

To be honest I would be more worried about her sexually assaulting me given her boundary issues when sober.

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5 hours ago, John M said:

To be honest I would be more worried about her sexually assaulting me given her boundary issues when sober.

In fact, in a recent live video Twit was incapable of keeping her hands -- and her girth -- off Buddy. It's no wonder her rabid fans think they should be together: she is all over him all the time.

Edited by Dot
correct typo
  • Love 9
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8 hours ago, 3girlsforus said:

What exactly is a blessing ceremony? I have successfully delivered 3 children and somehow missed out on this. 

Not sure, but Whit and Todd have "choreographed" a "dance" for it.  Is it wrong that I'm sort of dying to see the dance?  And the expressions on the other guests' faces?

Edited by princelina
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17 hours ago, princelina said:

Not sure, but Whit and Todd have "choreographed" a "dance" for it.  Is it wrong that I'm sort of dying to see the dance?  And the expressions on the other guests' faces?

 

Oh good Lord. That is just terrifying. Good thing the baby isn’t born yet. Wouldn’t want it scarred for life. 

Edited by 3girlsforus
  • Love 8
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How does arm/ham waving equate to anything having to do with birth?. Christ.

I just want to Punch her in the throat.

Way to make NOT YOUR DAMN BABY about you, Miss Pathetic. Seeing as you'll never have kids or a Real Life that means anything EVER..

  • Love 8
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3 minutes ago, Ketzel said:

Well, we saw a bit in the coming "attractions."  It apparently begins (Whitney's "choreographic" inspiration) with a representation of the baby's conception. And what could be more sensitive, or poetic, or reassuring to Ashley than to have a gay man and a morbidly obese woman simulating doggy-style sex as the opening of the "ceremony."

To be concluded with Twit raising her arms to the sky so that her armpit hairs can reach toward the sun like dandelions. 

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21 minutes ago, Ketzel said:

Well, we saw a bit in the coming "attractions."  It apparently begins (Whitney's "choreographic" inspiration) with a representation of the baby's conception. And what could be more sensitive, or poetic, or reassuring to Ashley than to have a gay man and a morbidly obese woman simulating doggy-style sex as the opening of the "ceremony."

 

ROTFL!!!! Does anyone remember Dharma and Greg? There was an episode celebrating Dharma's birthday and her parents do a "birthday" dance where they chant about her conception (something about being drunk in a park) and then Dharma pretends to be born by crawling through her mom's legs. Something tells me that even this sitcom slapstick humor was way classier than whatever Whiney has in store.

Edited by 3girlsforus
spelling
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2 hours ago, AUJulia said:

LOLOLOLOL

I cannot tell a lie, so I cannot take credit for this line. Twit actually wrote this in a long essay on her FB page about a year ago about why she was a feminist. All of the metaphors & similes were similarly unbelievable, just like the dandelions line. She received a number of compliments that it was the most beautiful thing ever written. (I am not joking.)

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24 minutes ago, Maricopa said:

"What if I never see Buddy again...?" 

The thought occurs that she must not yet have anyone in her life die. That's going to be a major growing-up time for her when that happens.

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5 hours ago, Dot said:

To be concluded with Twit raising her arms to the sky so that her armpit hairs can reach toward the sun like dandelions. 

It's due to comments like THIS ^^^^ that I do not, under any circumstances, drink while reading this forum. Can't afford to clean/replace laptops from spitting tea/coffee/gatorade/water all over it. 

  • Love 15
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In my religious tradition, children are baptized at 8. Since we don't have infant baptism, a new baby is brought to church for a 'baby blessing.' This is held during the Sunday service, so the whole congregation is there (as opposed to the baptism later, when it's usually just family and friends). 

The father holds the baby in the front of the church, with a group of worthy men standing in a circle around him. The father announces the baby's name, and then talks about what he wants for the child in terms of religious observance, getting along with siblings, being respectful to parents and others, contributing to society, and having a good education and a good marriage, etc. Some guys are really eloquent, some not so much, but it is always a sweet ritual.

And, for good measure, sometimes the dad gets a little nuts and holds up the baby like Simba in the Lion King before going back to his seat.

That's a baby blessing - with meaning, community, reverence, warmth, good humor, and welcoming. Not the garbage Whit is about to perpetrate. 

  • Love 11
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On ‎1‎/‎29‎/‎2018 at 2:02 PM, Dot said:

In fact, in a recent live video Twit was incapable of keeping her hands -- and her girth -- off Buddy. It's no wonder her rabid fans think they should be together: she is all over him all the time.

Whitney would be with any man who would have her.

  • Love 7
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44 minutes ago, aliya said:

In my religious tradition, children are baptized at 8. Since we don't have infant baptism, a new baby is brought to church for a 'baby blessing.' This is held during the Sunday service, so the whole congregation is there (as opposed to the baptism later, when it's usually just family and friends). 

The father holds the baby in the front of the church, with a group of worthy men standing in a circle around him. The father announces the baby's name, and then talks about what he wants for the child in terms of religious observance, getting along with siblings, being respectful to parents and others, contributing to society, and having a good education and a good marriage, etc. Some guys are really eloquent, some not so much, but it is always a sweet ritual.

And, for good measure, sometimes the dad gets a little nuts and holds up the baby like Simba in the Lion King before going back to his seat.

That's a baby blessing - with meaning, community, reverence, warmth, good humor, and welcoming. Not the garbage Whit is about to perpetrate. 

Yes. This is what I’m familiar with - although not so much the Simba stuff LOL - but whatever garbage Whit has planned can’t be anything meaningful like this since the baby isn’t even born yet!!!

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You would think the father of Ashley's baby-to-be could take a couple hours off work to be present at the birth.  What if she goes into labor on Sunday or in the middle of the night.  Will it still be Whitney or maybe this mysterious father could help out.  Makes me think there really is no father around.

Edited by Donut Bear
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1 minute ago, Donut Bear said:

You would think the father of Ashley's baby-to-be could take a couple hours off work to be present at the birth.  What I'd she goes into labor on Sunday or in the middle of the night.  Will it still be Whitney or maybe this mysterious father could help out.  Makes me think there really is no father around.

I think there may be a father that wants nothing to do with this shitshow but doesn't mind Ashley making a few bucks by including Twit. I guess if she is the only one at the birth we will know differently.

  • Love 8
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2 minutes ago, spacefly said:

I think there may be a father that wants nothing to do with this shitshow but doesn't mind Ashley making a few bucks by including Twit. I guess if she is the only one at the birth we will know differently.

I think there have been pictures of them both with the baby on her FB.

What is with the whole "Beeee" thing???? 

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I like Ashley. I hope she dumps Mt Whitney for her baby’s sake and her own sanity.  I’m sure Mt Whitney will do something exceedingly offensive in the delivery room. Maybe try to do an internal exam or something equally stupid. 

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