Season 1 Discussion

[UniqueHandle]

I think Jenny is partially to blame for Larry's behavior. It would have been very easy for her to mention in the car... "love, my dad spent a butt-load on this meal. We're having lechon, it's a pig which is like ham, eat it and smile." He could have replied, "Well, love... I'm kind of nervous to eat it." And she could have said, "dude, put on your big boy pants and take a bite."

Seriously. She should have told him about it before hand. Especially since it was such an expensive, important meal for her family. And he should have taken a small bite, without making it such a dramatic issue, and then gotten up and started to mingle with her family. They were all watching him, waiting for him to take a bite, as soon as he took a nibble, they would have turned away and started eating their own food and he could have moved on to bigger issues, like how Jenny doesn't like his nose.

When I was 18, I was dating a super awesome Jewish boy. I wasn't Jewish. We went to his grandmas for dinner. He warned me before we got there that not only was his grandma a terrible cook, she thought she was an amazing cook and she also was super proud of her cooking. He told me it was super important to him that his grandma like me because he really loved me. Everything she made was TERRIBLE. From the soup to the dessert. I took a couple painful bites of each food she offered and smiled and told her everything was delicious. In the end, she thought I was "wonderful" and gave us her blessing. (Many months later, when the super awesome boy and I broke up, the mom of the super awesome boy tried to run me over with her car, the grandma still thought I was "wonderful")

[CoachWristletJen]

8 hours ago, Drogo said:

For the love of pork, Larry - why haven't you given the family their candy yet?????

He should have launched some Snickers bars in the opposite direction and while they were all gathering them up he could have fed his plate to the goats and nature.  Missed opportunity.

What was strange to me was when he was walking around with Jenny and that candy and he was dropping it and picking it up, and sort of announcing to people in the streets that he had it and what he was going to do with it. It was like he thought he was on The Truman Show, and everyone in The Philippines knew the plot of his life and he was just keeping them up to speed.

[CoachWristletJen]

36 minutes ago, seacliffsal said:

A thought I had after this episode was that Paul is totally planning on isolating Karine.  I was wondering why he went to Brazil, when there would be women from other Latin American countries who might not have been in such remote areas for him to travel to meet them.  Then I realized that Karine speaking Portuguese would be less likely to find a community or friends near to Louisville that would be Portuguese speaking.  Someone who spoke Spanish would have more options for finding help or a translator.  By marrying Karine (if they go through with it), Paul will have a wife with far fewer options for getting help should she need it.  I think it is very planned on his part, just like his telling Karine about his criminal record AFTER they had sex.

That's a really good point, sad to say for Karine.

Abusers isolate their victims.

If he had gone to Central or South America, Karine would have found plenty of Spanish speaking people in the community. However, with Portuguese, not so much.

I'm still wondering how she's even going to go about actually learning English? Is Paul going to teach her? Does he just expect her to absorb it the way a baby does? She's going to need classes or some type of tutoring.

I don't even know if Karine is familiar with the types of help that are available to her in the United States, help which she will inevitably need -- women's shelters, etc.

If the producers have any humanity at all, they have explained to her about restraining orders and how things work in the US.

[AZChristian]

1 hour ago, MrSmith said:

I know where you're coming from. Until recently, I had very strict rules about what kinds of food could touch what other kinds of food on my plate. This would lead me to taking only certain things on my plate at a time. I've relaxed some of those rules for things my wife cooks because I know the flavors of those  things mixes well. When I'm at my parents or elsewhere, all those rules are in effect. What's truly amazing (and just one reason why I love my wife so much) is that my wife has actually learned all those rules over the years and knows which ones can be ignored  at home. No disrespect to anybody else, but my wife is the the best woman in the world! :D

I don't usually look to see who has written a particular post before I read it, but I always know yours.  I think it's lovely that you always speak so highly of your wife.  And it's a welcome change from a lot of what we see in today's crazy world.  High five!!

1 hour ago, CoachWristletJen said:

I'm still wondering how she's even going to go about actually learning English? Is Paul going to teach her? Does he just expect her to absorb it the way a baby does? She's going to need classes or some type of tutoring.

Lots of folks learn English from watching TV.  She may start watching Maury Povich and think that what she has to tolerate with Paul is just normal American behavior.  And she'll start throwing "beeps" into the middle of all her sentences.

[CofCinci]

8 hours ago, CoachWristletJen said:

I'm still wondering how she's even going to go about actually learning English? Is Paul going to teach her? Does he just expect her to absorb it the way a baby does? She's going to need classes or some type of tutoring.

She can take free English language classes once she arrives in Louisville...  if Paul allows her to leave the house. 

[CoachWristletJen]

1 hour ago, CofCinci said:

She can take free English language classes once she arrives in Louisville...  if Paul allows her to leave the house. 

I'm wondering how far outside of Louisville Paul lives. That house looked kind of remote. 

But you're right. Louisville is a large city and she could easily find classes in Portuguese and other speakers if he allows it.

Of course anyplace is remote if your husband won't let you leave.

Once she does leave I'm sure the shelter will provide a Portuguese interpreter if she isn't already comfortable in English. Something tells me it won't take long for this guy to start acting really bad.

This whole story is very upsetting. It makes me want to reach through the screen and smack him in his awkward face!

It used to be that people had to be reasonably accomplished to find the means to travel abroad. My parents had friends who had married people from other countries because they were accomplished people who were well traveled and happened to have met other people in foreign countries. They were well-mannered and interesting people.

But nowadays any loser with a keyboard who can't find somebody over here because nobody can stand his personality decides that he's going to date 5 or 6 points out of his league by "rescuing" some poor woman from a poor country! 

I get that Chris is no angel, but we don't know for certain that he frequented other prostitutes. And, we can say that Abby's life is probably better for having known him if he provided her with the means to get off the streets. Maybe he likes to pick one woman and "court her" (I know, ew), get her off the streets and make her his steady girlfriend. Maybe he only wants to have sex with someone he's thoroughly mesmerized. That could be his thing -- like most people. (Who wants to sleep with someone who hates you? That's what I've never understood about guys who pay for it but I digress. I've never been a dancer like Anfisa nor would I EVER (and there's no such thing as 'just a dancer' -- not that their full blown prostitutes but it does go further for all of them, eventually, but I had a friend who was and sitting around in that back dressing room listening to the way those women talked about the guys would make any guy rethink his lack of dignity. Seriously. The stuff they say goes beyond mean because they do not like their customers. Beyond mean! I felt traumatized just listening to them. Then they paint on a smile and go back out. Crazy! Yes, I did get offered a job. No that's not a big deal because it wasn't difficult to get one and this was many moons ago. I'd rather scrape lard off the grills at McDonald's any day of the week!)  Sure, the US is being blessed with another conniving person, but in this case she is a victim and she really needs help -- not that she's going to want it. Who knows how many boyfriends and boyfriends' families she'll tear apart after she's done with Chris?

What I was really getting at with all of that is that when I look at someone like Jenny or Abby, I see contempt because I understand that women in those positions have for their customers whenever there's a such a discrepancy in appearance and age between the two people that the only thing really tying them together is money changing hands and a green card. I've seen that contempt when it is unguarded and that's why I fully believe these women will take these guys for everything they're worth. And they've got it coming. Chris is too smart to put himself in that position, but Sean will be paying for every cruel customer Abby has ever had. Not every woman in her position is so mean, but Abby is.

Edited October 11, 2017 by CoachWristletJen
Added more stuff.

[Me from ME]

Quote

I think Jenny is partially to blame for Larry's behavior. It would have been very easy for her to mention in the car... "love, my dad spent a butt-load on this meal. We're having lechon, it's a pig which is like ham, eat it and smile." He could have replied, "Well, love... I'm kind of nervous to eat it." And she could have said, "dude, put on your big boy pants and take a bite."

Although I somewhat agree with this, the lechon was such a treat for her it probably never entered her mind. The last time she had eaten it was when she was a child so it might have been inconceivable that he would be disgusted by the mere sight of it.

[Drogo]

2 hours ago, CofCinci said:

She can take free English language classes once she arrives in Louisville...  if Paul allows her to leave the house. 

She can probably sneak away while the house is burning.

[CoachWristletJen]

21 minutes ago, Drogo said:

She can probably sneak away while the house is burning.

Perfect.

[CoachWristletJen]

1 hour ago, Me from ME said:

Although I somewhat agree with this, the lechon was such a treat for her it probably never entered her mind. The last time she had eaten it was when she was a child so it might have been inconceivable that he would be disgusted by the mere sight of it.

That's what I think, too. For her, the lechon was like bringing someone to your house on Christmas day and you've got a turkey with all the trimmings, and presents, and the house all decorated with all that rich Americans can afford, and then he just sits there like a dud and doesn't want to eat or do anything or open presents or talk to anyone. It's that bad. 

In a way that was the equivalent of their wedding feast. When will they ever be able to afford something like that again? It's a huge treat that she hasn't had in her home since she was a child! Never in a million years would she have imagined that he would be turned off and disgusted by it! He might as well have been turned off and disgusted by her body on their wedding night.

That meal was an honor to Larry. And, the poor dummy behaved horribly. He treated their great act of deference with disgust. The children were laughing at him. No doubt word of his disrespect spread throughout their entire town, and her family felt embarrassed that their very, very best wasn't good enough for her suitor.

I put zero blame on her. She's a desperate woman who hasn't seen her own mother in three years! She's using her body to get out of poverty. And Larry is looking the other way to allow it.

These loser guys deserve what they get.

[Drogo]

The problem isn't piglets or anxiety or dietary restrictions... the problem is abstinence and the resulting mental volatility and complete inability to prioritize.

If Larry wasn't abstaining until marriage-- and not eating the lechon meant "100% No Sex Tonight"-- Larry would have been like:

Source:  I ate gefilte fish and kishka the night I met my wife's extended family.  I know a thing or two about priorities.

[Sprockets]

1 minute ago, Drogo said:

If Larry wasn't abstaining until marriage

I missed the whole "abstaining until marriage" deal.  Whatever is he saving himself for?  

[AZChristian]

Just now, Sprockets said:

I missed the whole "abstaining until marriage" deal.  Whatever is he saving himself for?  

The never-married father of two (by two different women) probably doesn't want to become a never-married father of three (by three different women).  Maybe that's the ONE thing he listened to when his relative with the Filipino wife warned him that things sounded fishy.

[Drogo]

Just now, Sprockets said:

I missed the whole "abstaining until marriage" deal.  Whatever is he saving himself for?  

When they first got to the Pan Pacific, I believe he said he's waiting until marriage to have sex because sex ruined his last relationships. 

Translation:  Larry is just as terrible in the sack as we'd all imagine him to be.

[Mr. Miner]

4 minutes ago, Drogo said:

When they first got to the Pan Pacific, I believe he said he's waiting until marriage to have sex because sex ruined his last relationships. 

Translation:  Larry is just as terrible in the sack as we'd all imagine him to be.

He was spooning her on the bed in the stupid fucking hat and 2 days of travel funk. Take a shower dumbass!  

[CoachWristletJen]

24 minutes ago, Mr. Minor said:

He was spooning her on the bed in the stupid fucking hat and 2 days of travel funk. Take a shower dumbass!  

And that was her first chance to uh, cuddle with him.

If that's any indication of what he's like in bed... blech. 

I'm guessing grimy kid in a toy store.

38 minutes ago, Sprockets said:

I missed the whole "abstaining until marriage" deal.  Whatever is he saving himself for?  

Apparently he's saving himself for divorce.

If Jenny thought she cried after the pig, just wait until the wedding night.

[Gigglepuff]

Oh, Larry. You idiot. I'll bet that Larry is the type that finds Applebee's to be a fine dining experience and thinks that Olive Garden is exotic. Whomever called him an oaf is bang on. I didn't like Jenny much before this episode but now I kind of feel for her. 

[Sprockets]

1 hour ago, CoachWristletJen said:

Apparently he's saving himself for divorce.

Women around the world are grateful.  

 

Quote

If Jenny thought she cried after the pig, just wait until the wedding night.

I think you mean "conjugal moment," also known as "is it in yet?"

1 hour ago, Mr. Minor said:

. . .because sex ruined his last relationships. 

His sexual performance ruined nothing other than his pants.  Would you like fries with that?  

1 hour ago, Drogo said:

Translation:  Larry is just as terrible in the sack as we'd all imagine him to be.

Huh?  Sorry, I blinked and missed it.  

Edited October 11, 2017 by Sprockets
the hell of it

[Major Bigtime]

14 hours ago, CoachWristletJen said:

If the producers have any humanity at all, they have explained to her about restraining orders and how things work in the US.

Humanity? These people? No, they are in it for ratings. If they did have a care in the world for this poor girl, they’d have helped her get back home, put Paul back on the first plane to Momma, and cancelled them having anything to do with this show.

[seacliffsal]

I don't know about Larry being inadequate as he does have two sons (and one could have been conceived 'first and only time' but I don't think both would have been).  I think what may drive people/women away is his lack of respect for others.  It was clear that the meal was quite a celebration-yet he could not get outside of himself enough to even think about what it meant for the family and friends who had gathered for the feast.  That amount of self-centeredness does not bode well for long-term relationships.  

[balisticnikki]

17 hours ago, Drogo said:

If I wanted to marry her? Absolutely.  

That's the same thinking as "I'm draining my 401(k) bc I want to marry her."

The codependency!!

I'll risk my health, I'll ruin my finances, I'll leave my kids, I'll sell my soul...........

[Drogo]

25 minutes ago, balisticnikki said:

That's the same thinking as "I'm draining my 401(k) bc I want to marry her."

The codependency!!

I'll risk my health, I'll ruin my finances, I'll leave my kids, I'll sell my soul...........

Larry's (mostly xenophobic + imagined) risk of getting tapeworm by eating a fully-cooked pig isn't the same IMO as draining your retirement plan for a vacation or abandoning your children.  There are no readily available herbal remedies or pharmaceuticals to replenish a 401K or regain custody of children.

[Arwen Evenstar]

9 minutes ago, Drogo said:

Larry's (mostly xenophobic + imagined) risk of getting tapeworm by eating a fully-cooked pig isn't the same IMO as draining your retirement plan for a vacation or abandoning your children.  There are no readily available herbal remedies or pharmaceuticals to replenish a 401K or regain custody of children.

Spoken like a true gentleman, Sir! Your posts are always such a treat!

[Miss Chevious]

And Larry seems like the type of guy that'll never let Jenny forget he drained his 401k for her. 

He's going to hold that over her head forever. She OWES him.

[KateHearts]

On 10/9/2017 at 1:10 PM, Christina said:

I tell that long personal story to say I sympathized with Larry when presented with something he didn't want to eat.

This was different from having your violent, allergic reaction to a food.

That said, I wouldn't "throw a roll" at a family member because I felt she had given me something I was intolerant to. Nor would I eat the food if I had strong suspicions it would make be very ill.

[CoachWristletJen]

3 hours ago, seacliffsal said:

I don't know about Larry being inadequate as he does have two sons (and one could have been conceived 'first and only time' but I don't think both would have been).  I think what may drive people/women away is his lack of respect for others.  It was clear that the meal was quite a celebration-yet he could not get outside of himself enough to even think about what it meant for the family and friends who had gathered for the feast.  That amount of self-centeredness does not bode well for long-term relationships.  

Good point, SeaCliffSal. If he had just been stupid, I think his behavior would have been slightly less intolerable, but he was mainly selfish -- utterly self-absorbed on top of the stupid. 

Put all of that together and you have, well, poor Jenny's future.

[spankydoll]

On 10/10/2017 at 0:18 PM, AmyBre said:

SpankyDoll, you are in Paris (on vacation I assume) and you find time to come and rip it with us???!!!!!     

I think I want to be your BFF.

Yes ma'am. We went to London to catch Ricky Gervais and took the train over to Paris for a few days. The Mr. And I go out in the morning and walk the city, sightsee, hang out and eat. And eat some more. Once we hit the five mile mark we come back to the hotel and chill or find a park and hang out. Mr. Spank is obsessed with BBC TV also so I catch up with you zanies and the boards at Dlisted. We travel a lot so we make sure that we chill out when we are away. And we are over 50 so there's that also

My research to date shows a brand total of ZERO shirtless joggers and no young men doing cartwheels unless they have a hat out for coins. I have spied many young men sporting a dread mantail but none of the handsome young fellows are our intrepid fiance.

I am beside myself to be missing this show. It is my guilty pleasure. 

[Kangatush]

Larry is just a knob.  It doesn't even have to be a different culture thing.  When I'm invited to a new home here in the states, and I'm served something I don't like, I fricking eat it.  It's the polite thing to do.  Plus, it was roast pork.  It's not like they served something "foreign" and terrifying, like balut.  Jenny didn't warn him in advance because it was just such a blatantly obvious thing she didn't think she needed to mention it.  She also didn't tell him not to kick people, trusting that he had enough common sense to know that on his own.

[Kangatush]

On 10/9/2017 at 1:10 PM, Christina said:

I have an odd food intolerance to the sugar molecule fructose along with suffering from gastoparesis. I cannot eat much at all and very small amounts of high fructose corn syrup, honey or molasses results in projectile vomiting, at minimum. It has, in the past, cause my small intestines to swell landing me in the hospital for a few days on IV Dilaudid. When my mother's aunt invited us over for dinner, I questioned her on the food, including the rolls that I was pretty sure was a frozen dough that typically contained high fructose corn syrup. She was greatly offended and insisted she made it from scratch. She also had negative comments about how little food I had on my plate, and loudly questioned me about not liking her cooking. My mom said that I just couldn't eat that much. Two bites of the roll later, I had an immediate cramping pain in my stomach and I stood up, threw the roll at her and started to walk to the bathroom to vomit. Unfortunately or fortunately as the case may be, I made it two steps before projectile vomiting and fainting. I woke up as the paramedics were loading me into the ambulance. 

I tell that long personal story to say I sympathized with Larry when presented with something he didn't want to eat. He tried and just couldn't do it. Food anxiety is paralyzing. I've been through cognizant behavioral therapy for my food anxiety and still can't go over to people's homes to eat. The thoughts about it leading up to the visits are all consuming, and my CBT training can't overcome the fear. Until I finally decide I just can't go, the crippling anxiety has control of all my thoughts. People get very offended, insist they wouldn't do something to make me sick, but still, my great-aunt insisted it too, and she did.

That's where my sympathy with Larry ends, though. I don't believe any one on this show is in a legitimate relationship and think all of them just want to be on television. This show is so obviously scripted and I don't like any of the participants.

There's a huge difference here.  You have a legitimate medical issue with eating certain foods that lead to serious consequences.  The only reasons Larry gave for not wishing to eat the pork were that he's a picky eater and that he may, or may not, get diarrhea if he ate it.  

He had no valid reason (in my opinion) for not eating, and not thanking, her family.

[Kangatush]

On 10/10/2017 at 2:07 PM, Baltimore Betty said:

On 10/10/2017 at 2:07 PM, Baltimore Betty said:

Paul really thought he could have warded off the cell phone mugger? I bet he practices his karate moves in front of his bedroom mirror.

 

All the likes for this.  I can picture it so clearly.

[ScarlettRuby]

On 10/10/2017 at 6:21 AM, AmyBre said:

I have another $20 that says that Larry is mentally sick.   If this is the case, it would explain a lot.

I reiterate that neither Nicole nor Larry get a "free pass" at doing dumb things because they are not playing with a full deck.

After watching all the available episodes of this show, I have come to the conclusion that most of the Americans are narcissists, which is why they need someone who they get to control and be in charge of.  The tremendous poverty in the world affords them the opportunity to have the partner of their dreams, someone inappropriate and out of their league.  American dollars can buy pretty trophy spouses.  The visa hunters know the ropes, they understand the game, and they know how to appeal to narcissists. Abby is the most glaring example, although I think those two horrible old men are giving her a bad case of narcissism too.  They are all playing a very silly and childish game.   Nicole's mother said it well "Nicole thinks that everything she believes is true".  That would apply to every last one of these people who are essentially buying themselves what they think they deserve.  Instead, I think they will all get exactly what they deserve in the end.  
My other observation is that I think this show is more fake than we might want to believe.  I really think that the Patrick and Miryam story is a complete fake.  He's been around the reality show circuit a few times now.   They're probably interviewing for Miryam's invisible boyfriend as we speak.   Just my thoughts.  

[ScarlettRuby]

On 10/8/2017 at 6:14 PM, AmyBre said:

Then they went to Sacred Heart and he's doing his flips again and sticking his tongue and licking his lips just to get everyone's attention, which he craves more than he does Jenny.  

Oh thank you for mentioning the tongue and lip licking, I thought it was just me.  I find that habit to be truly disgusting, it just turns my stomach, but it seems to be "a thing" with younger men, and even some women.   What in the world?   Yuck!  

[zoemom]

3 hours ago, Kangatush said:

Larry is just a knob.  It doesn't even have to be a different culture thing.  When I'm invited to a new home here in the states, and I'm served something I don't like, I fricking eat it.  It's the polite thing to do.  Plus, it was roast pork.  It's not like they served something "foreign" and terrifying, like balut.  Jenny didn't warn him in advance because it was just such a blatantly obvious thing she didn't think she needed to mention it.  She also didn't tell him not to kick people, trusting that he had enough common sense to know that on his own.

^^^This x1000.  

Mr. Zoemom is an engineer, he does a lot of consulting work all over the world; when time/opportunity permits I've often traveled with him to different countries.  Most of the time we eat in restaurants on our own time, but on occasion (especially when he was working in Japan), we were often invited to dinner in the home of his clients and their families.  While many of these families spoke English, some didn't and many times I didn't know what I was eating.  At one home I was served basashi  (it tasted like prosciutto) - I thought it was a type of sushi as it was raw.  It was delicious - I didn't find out until the evening was over that what I had enjoyed so much was actually raw horse meat.   I've also slogged through many plates of natto (disgusting fermented soybeans), eaten whale, and chomped on sticks of nankotsu (chicken cartlidge). Gross, yes maybe to Western palates, but I'd never dream of insulting our hosts by refusing what I've been served.  Even if I didn't particularly like something, I've always found that if you at least take a few bites and don't make a scene (I'm looking at you Larry!) it goes a long way with those who have worked so hard to prepare food for you.

They're called "manners" Larry, wouldn't hurt you to get some.

[gavinmac]

22 hours ago, seacliffsal said:

A thought I had after this episode was that Paul is totally planning on isolating Karine. 

I don't think Karine will be that isolated in Louisville, because if I've learned one thing from 90 Day Fiance, it's that the Kentucky/Ohio region is the mail order bride capital of the USA.

My theory is that people from northern/coastal states are smarter and wealthier and don't go for foreign brides. And people from South Carolina and Texas are too closed minded. This leaves medium-backwards states like Kentucky/Ohio as the sweet spot for Americans who will import foreign fiances. Along with Florida, of course.

12 minutes ago, zoemom said:

I've always found that if you at least take a few bites and don't make a scene (I'm looking at you Larry!)

Wait, is crossing yourself when you're served a meal and thus telling the host and everyone in attendance "I'm afraid your cooking will kill me" making a scene?

[Baltimore Betty]

3 hours ago, ScarlettRuby said:

I really think that the Patrick and Miryam story is a complete fake. 

It has to be fake, Patrick is staying in an Airbnb and seems to have no idea where Miryam lives.  Patrick strikes me as the type to show up at her apartment out of the blue and if there was really a boyfriend said boyfriend would have tagged along at some point just to check Patrick out.  Miryam's "boyfriend" is the equivalent the fake emergency phone call you set up prior to a blind date if it's not going well. 

How has Nicole never watched any of the Dinyell and Mo shit show that has played out over the past seasons?  

[4leafclover]

Quote

My theory is that people from northern/coastal states are smarter and wealthier and don't go for foreign brides. And people from South Carolina and Texas are too closed minded. This leaves medium-backwards states like Kentucky/Ohio as the sweet spot for Americans who will import foreign fiances. Along with Florida, of course.

1

As a Texan, I must disagree.  We are not "too closed minded," but rather, our men aren't social outcasts and our women aren't desperate losers.  

[Kangatush]

Let's just say that every region of the country has idiots and geniuses, rich folk and poor folk.  

[Forum member]

1 hour ago, Kangatush said:

Let's just say that every region of the country has idiots and geniuses, rich folk and poor folk.  

And half the people in each region are below average...

[Pachengala]

7 hours ago, Kangatush said:

She also didn't tell him not to kick people, trusting that he had enough common sense to know that on his own.

 

4 hours ago, zoemom said:

Mr. Zoemom is an engineer, he does a lot of consulting work all over the world; when time/opportunity permits I've often traveled with him to different countries.  Most of the time we eat in restaurants on our own time, but on occasion (especially when he was working in Japan), we were often invited to dinner in the home of his clients and their families.  While many of these families spoke English, some didn't and many times I didn't know what I was eating.  At one home I was served basashi  (it tasted like prosciutto) - I thought it was a type of sushi as it was raw.  It was delicious - I didn't find out until the evening was over that what I had enjoyed so much was actually raw horse meat.   I've also slogged through many plates of natto (disgusting fermented soybeans), eaten whale, and chomped on sticks of nankotsu (chicken cartlidge). Gross, yes maybe to Western palates, but I'd never dream of insulting our hosts by refusing what I've been served.  Even if I didn't particularly like something, I've always found that if you at least take a few bites and don't make a scene (I'm looking at you Larry!) it goes a long way with those who have worked so hard to prepare food for you.

They're called "manners" Larry, wouldn't hurt you to get some.

 

3 hours ago, gavinmac said:

My theory is that people from northern/coastal states are smarter and wealthier and don't go for foreign brides. And people from South Carolina and Texas are too closed minded. This leaves medium-backwards states like Kentucky/Ohio as the sweet spot for Americans who will import foreign fiances. Along with Florida, of course.

Wait, is crossing yourself when you're served a meal and thus telling the host and everyone in attendance "I'm afraid your cooking will kill me" making a scene?

This thread and especially these posts are giving me life!! @zoemom I am so envious of you--adventurous eating like this is a small price, if even a price, to pay for such amazing experiences! 

[Nowhere]

15 hours ago, Drogo said:

The problem isn't piglets or anxiety or dietary restrictions... the problem is abstinence and the resulting mental volatility and complete inability to prioritize.

If Larry wasn't abstaining until marriage-- and not eating the lechon meant "100% No Sex Tonight"-- Larry would have been like:

Source:  I ate gefilte fish and kishka the night I met my wife's extended family.  I know a thing or two about priorities.

I'd kill for some sweet gefilte fish but I live in Missouri now and they don't sell it here. I'm hoping you got the loaf and not the nasty Manichevitz  in a jar of fish water. Even I wouldn't eat that shit and gefilte fish is my jam. I'm sure you got the good stuff but, I agree, gefilte fish may be an acquired taste. I'm so sad. Now I have a craving. 

[Arwen Evenstar]

One Jewish comedian wrote that gefilte fish were the only food Jewish children were permitted to refuse.  From my own experience, they are an acquired taste,and definitely not my jam. As a guest at a few Seders over the years, both in homes and once in a temple, I follwed the when in Rome rule to show respect and found a way to help it down. The ones from the deli are way better than Manischewitz. YMMV.

[jennylauren123]

17 hours ago, Miss Chevious said:

And Larry seems like the type of guy that'll never let Jenny forget he drained his 401k for her. 

He's going to hold that over her head forever. She OWES him.

I totally agree. I feel like he's holding the fact that he drained his 401k over all of OUR heads, and we are just poor, hapless viewers!

[Cherpumple]

On 10/10/2017 at 3:54 PM, balisticnikki said:

And for some of us, "the worst thing you could ever do is" force somebody to eat something they are repulsed by.

Agreed. Of course Larry should've have been more gracious and appreciative of Jenny's family, and it was painful to watch him be so oblivious to their feelings. But good manners are a two-way street, and I don't think seeing a guest so visibly nervous and uncomfortable should prompt a host to draw attention to him and immediately think he is being intentionally disrespectful, especially when he is so clearly out of his element. It was bad communication all the way around. 

[Sprockets]

38 minutes ago, jennylauren123 said:

18 hours ago, Miss Chevious said:

 

I totally agree. I feel like he's holding the fact that he drained his 401k over all of OUR heads, and we are just poor, hapless viewers!

He obviously feels like he has invested in the relationship and deserves a payback.  Ironically, a man who spends his 401k is not so attractive.  And wait until later, when he has to pay taxes on what he took out. . . .

22 minutes ago, Cherpumple said:

It was bad communication all the way around. 

This situation feels entirely scripted to me, and I think the pig was a production assistant who sacrificed himself.  

[Kangatush]

29 minutes ago, Cherpumple said:

Agreed. Of course Larry should've have been more gracious and appreciative of Jenny's family, and it was painful to watch him be so oblivious to their feelings. But good manners are a two-way street, and I don't think seeing a guest so visibly nervous and uncomfortable should prompt a host to draw attention to him and immediately think he is being intentionally disrespectful, especially when he is so clearly out of his element. It was bad communication all the way around. 

This is where the different cultures thing comes in.  In Phillipino culture it is a HUGE deal to offer a guest food.  Especially a food that requires a lot of sacrifice to afford.  Meat is a sign of wealth.  They were literally offering the most valuable thing they had to Larry.  Him rejecting that was a slap in the face.  If he did enough research to know about the head touch, he should have known not to reject gifts.  None of this at all reflects on Jenny's family.  

Edited October 12, 2017 by Kangatush

[Sprockets]

17 minutes ago, Kangatush said:

If he did enough research to know about the head touch, he should have known not to reject gifts.  None of this at all reflects on Jenny's family.  

It is never good manners to make a guest feel uncomfortable.  In most cultures the host's job is to make the guest feel good.  I remember a story - I can't remember the people involved, but  it happened at a formal dinner part in England - where a guest picked up his finger bowl and drank from it.   The hostess immediately picked up hers and drank, and the rest of the guests followed suit, so as to not make the first person feel uncomfortable.  Now, that is impressive behavior.  

In this case, however, there was absolutely zero healthy communication taking place.  Awkwardness abounded on all sides.  This had nothing much to do with cultural norms, and a whole lot to do with all parties behaving poorly.  Larry missed a bazillion opportunities to explain his aversion to the dead pig.  Larry's prostitute, er, girfriend, jumped straight into a meltdown without asking him what was going on, and the hosts did not seem at all concerned about Larry's distress.  

49 minutes ago, Cherpumple said:

Of course Larry should've have been more gracious and appreciative of Jenny's family, and it was painful to watch him be so oblivious to their feelings.

Agreed, and of course Larry was not forced to do anything.  I can think of many ways he could have dealt with that situation that would have resulted in much less upset and might have made him seem like an adult.  None of those ways involves eating anything he didn't want to et.  

[Cherpumple]

3 minutes ago, Kangatush said:

This is where the different cultures thing comes in.  In Phillipino culture it is a HUGE deal to offer a guest food

But that's part of my point. Larry is clearly not from the Philippines and I'm sure they could all tell that he was quite ignorant of their cultural nuances, so why jump to the conclusion that he is being intentionally rude? Why not just assume that he doesn't realize how big a deal the lechon is and go from there, for instance by having Jenny pull him aside to explain the significance? Nearly everyone makes some sort of etiquette mistake when travelling abroad, no matter how much preparation is done, so why not give people the benefit of the doubt (at least regarding their intentions)?

And yes to everything Sprockets said!

Quick anecdote: one of my exes was from Afghanistan and when his parents came to visit him we had a feast one night and all sat around on the floor talking (well, I was just sitting quietly listening to them speak Farsi). I always get leg cramps from sitting on the floor, so while I was stretching my legs, my boyfriend looked horrified and whispered to me to change position- I was sitting with my legs straight out and the soles of my feet were facing his father on the other side of the room, which is apparently very rude in his culture. It never would have occurred to me that something I considered so innocuous would be seen as offensive, but was happy oblige. (Later in their visit he asked me to tell his mother that I ironed his clothes for him, to show off my "wife" skills. I laughed in his face.)

[Forum member]

1 hour ago, jennylauren123 said:

I totally agree. I feel like he's holding the fact that he drained his 401k over all of OUR heads, and we are just poor, hapless viewers!

The only thing she can relate his 401k to is her SS, or Social Security. At her age and after a few jobs as a sales girl or similar jobs, she would have a hundred bucks in her account waiting for her retirement. She probably doesn't see him making a huge, impressive sacrifice cashing his out.

[AZChristian]

51 minutes ago, Sprockets said:

. . . the pig was a production assistant who sacrificed himself.  

I imagine lots of assignments on these weird shows being decided by "rock / paper / scissors."  This, of course, being the ultimate.

Edited October 12, 2017 by AZChristian

[MrSmith]

22 minutes ago, Cherpumple said:

why jump to the conclusion that he is being intentionally rude?

The thing is that unintentional rudeness is nearly as offensive. Some people, though, decide not to give a pass to those being unintentionally rude.