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ari333
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Stewie (singing to the song "Cars"): Bryan had sex with a really dumb girl, now he's taking his friend Stewie, to get some ice cream, in his car.

 

Stewie: How you uh, how you comin' on that novel you're working on? Huh? Gotta a big, uh, big stack of papers there? Gotta, gotta nice litte story you're working on there? Your big novel you've been working on for 3 years? Huh? Gotta, gotta compelling protaganist? Yeah? Gotta obstacle for him to overcome? Huh? Gotta story brewing there? Working on, working on that for quite some time? Huh? (voice getting higher pitched) Yea, talking about that 3 years ago. Been working on that the whole time? Nice little narrative? Beginning, middle, and end? Some friends become enemies, some enemies become friends? At the end your main character is richer from the experience? Yeah? Yeah? (voice returns to normal) No, no, you deserve some time off.

 

Lois to Lauren Conrad: "You could have just complimented the free food, but I guess one upping me is another way to go...bitch."

 

Peter: "Hey Crashy, what you doing down there?"

 

Brian: "You see, Connie, you're popular because you developed early and started putting out when you were 12. But now you can't stand to look at yourself in the mirror, because all you see is a whore. So you pick on Meg to avoid the inevitable realization that once your body's used up by age 19, you're gonna be a worn-out, chalky-skinned burlap sack that even your stepdad won't want. How's that? Am I in the ballpark?"

 

Quagmire: "Okay, I'll tell you. You are the worst person I know. You constantly hit on your best friend's wife. The man pays for your food and rescued you from certain death, and this is how you repay him? And to add insult to injury, you defecate all over his yard. And you're such a sponge. You pay for nothing. You always say [mocks Brian] "Ooh, I'll get you later", but later never comes. And what really bothers me, is you pretend that you're this deep guy that loves women for their souls, when all you do is date bimbos. Yeah, I date women for their bodies, but at least I'm honest about it. I don't buy them a copy of Catcher in the Rye and then lecture them with some seventh grade interpretation about how Holden Caulfield was some profound intellectual. He wasn't! He was a spoiled brat! And that's why you like him so much. He's you! God, you're pretentious. And you delude yourself by thinking you're some great writer, even though you're terrible. You know, I should've known Cheryl Tiegs didn't write me that note. She would've known there's no "a" in the word "definite". And what I think I hate most about you is your textbook liberal agenda. How we should "legalize pot, man", how big business is crushing the underclass, how homelessness is the biggest tragedy in America. Well what have you done to help? I work down at the soup kitchen, Brian. Never seen you down there. You wanna help? Grab a ladle. And by the way, driving a Prius doesn't make you Jesus Christ. Oh, wait. You don't believe in Jesus Christ, or any religion for that matter because "religion is for idiots". Well, who the hell are you to talk down to anyone? You failed college twice, which isn't nearly as bad as your failure as a father. How's that son of yours you never see? But you know what? I could forgive all of that, all of it, if you weren't such a bore. That's the worst of it, Brian. You're just a big, sad, alcoholic bore! I'll see ya, Brian. Thanks for the fucking steak.

  • Love 8

Quagmire eviscerating Brian is one of my favorite moments of the season.

 

But this was almost as good:

 

 

Lois: Look, the bottom line here Meg is that you're just taking your own problems out on everyone else.
    Meg: Oh, my problems? Oh, I see. Is this coming from my role-model mother? The shoplifter, the drug addict, the pornstar, the whore who let Gene Simmons and Bill Clinton go to town on her?
    Lois: [scoffs] So what? A...all those things are behind me now. I'm a better person now because of those experiences.
    Meg: Are you? Are you a better person?
    Lois: What's your point, Meg?
    Meg: My point is that with all the irresponsible, reckless, idiotic behavior in your past, that somehow, heh, somehow you have the nerve, the arrogance to consistently and ruthlessly point out my shortcomings.
    Lois: Alright, well fine! Okay, I'm not the perfect mother; who is?
    Meg: [chuckles] Not only are you not the perfect mother, you're the farthest thing from! From the moment you gave birth to me, I had to trust you. I had no choice. I needed you to protect me from the world to, to be my guide, to help me navigate the difficult, confusing, and vulnerable journey to becoming a person. You have done NONE of those things! You're my mother and you took a child's trust and smashed it into bits in a seventeen-year long mission to destroy something that you killed a long time ago! And honestly, when I turn eighteen, I...I don't know that I ever want to see you again!

  • Love 6

Meg: I won't be able to makeout with my boyfriend...Darren...Mitchellstork...he's uh, he's the...chairman.of.the.soccer.ball.team.

Lois: Well alright, make sure you practice safe sex Meg. (starts laughing nonstop) You little liar!

 

Peter & Chris whispering in the kitchen about Meg helping them with Handiquacks

Peter: I don't think she's getting it.

Chris: I know she's not getting it, but...

Peter: There's no but. She's just not getting it.

Chris: Well, what the hell do you want to do?

Peter: She's poison.

Chris: Absolutely. She's dead weight.

Peter: She doesn't understand.

Chris: But without her, the staff is too small. I mean she's just not funny.

Peter: She's completely ruining it.

Chris: Yeah, but I think it's important to have a female perspective in the room.

Peter: All right, but I think we're gonna have to expect nothing.

Chris: Right.

Peter: And then, maybe be pleasantly surprised.

Chris: Okay.

 

They go into the kitchen again after one of Meg's suggestions.

Peter: This is not working out. This is not working out at all.

Chris: Dad. Dad look she's trying.

Peter: No. No. 

Chris: She gets along with everybody.

Peter: She does not get along with everybody.

Chris: She's kind of hot.

Peter: She's office hot. Alright?

Chris: Yeah maybe you're right.

Peter: She's the only woman around.

Chris: Yeah, in the real world she doesn't hold up.

Peter: In addition to everything else, she's got B.O.! She's got B.O.

 

Goes back in the kitchen one last time after Meg's suggestion

Peter: Your writing partner is out of her mind.

Chris: Okay, first of all, stop calling her my partner. 

Peter: She's terrible. She's terrible.

Chris: I know that.

Peter: But then you know what? 

Chris: What?

Peter: It's not fair.

Chris: Well that's sort of a cop out.

Peter: Having her here is not fair to her.

Chris: Dad, if you want to fire her, you go ahead and fire her. But don't pretend you're doing it for her benefit.

Chris: It's on you.

Peter: Don't put that on me. She's firing herself.

Chris: No, she can't fire herself.

Peter: She's firing herself with her lack of talent and her lack of funniness. I just...You know I feel like you and I have captured lightning in a bottle with Handiquacks.

Chris: We have. Yes.

Peter: And she's just coming in and unscrewing the top, and letting it all out.

[Peter peeks from the door and talks to Meg]

Peter: Meg your services will no longer be needed.

  • Love 4

*HOWL*  That just makes me think of Peter singing it all soft and slow while Carter was trying to get back with Babs.  I can't breathe every time I see that.


Peter: "Alright, listen up everybody.  I have something to tell you.  I'm not sure how to say this . . . I'm fat.  Let me give you a moment to absorb that.  It's nobody's fault . . . Meg."

Lois: Aw Meg, why don't you go downstairs and join the party?

Meg: I wasn't invited! I hate Chris, he's such a jerk!

Lois: Look, he's just confused with who he is right now. I'm sure deep down he still loves his big sister.

Meg: I HATE MY SCHOOL!! I HATE EVERYONE!!! I HATE MY LIFE!!!

Lois: Okay, look Meg, I've been at this for 45 minutes, I don't know what else I can say. Here's a Sylvia Plath novel and a bottle of Ambien, I'm gonna look the other way and whatever happens, happens.

 

Brian: Stewie, what are you doing here?

Stewie: Brian. You have to come back.

Brian: Why?

Stewie: Because New Brian is such a tool. I mean, he's so damn sweet, and perfect, and he is turning the family into a bunch of douches.

Brian: Big deal. You always said I was a douche.

Stewie: Yeah, but you were my douche, Brian. My douche. Come back and be my douche again?

 

Stewie: Brian, we both know I touched it, now if you like to keep that just between us, I suggest you sit back down and order me some chicken fingers.

 

Stewie: Hey, New Brian, bad news. You gotta leave.

New Brian: Huh? What are you talking about? This is my home.

Stewie: Nobody likes you here man.

New Brian: Well, I disagree. I think everybody likes me.

Stewie: No we don't. We don't like your cooking, your stupid karoke nights, and we especially don't like the way you hump that chair in the den.

New Brian: Well, Rupert seems to like my humping.

Stewie: What did you say?

New Brian: Rupert. Humped him for two hours yesterday. He just laid there and took it.

Stewie: Did he?

New Brian: Yeah. Now every time you're sleeping with him, he's gonna be thinking of me.

[standoff between the two of them before Stewie drags New Brian's dead body in a trashbag out to the garbage]

Peter [Reading Note]: ...and that is why I cut myself up, put myself in a bag and threw myself into the garbage." Wow, he must have had some demons.

 

Stewie: Hey Jillian, before you go, I forget, do you know what the capital of this state is?

Jillian: Um, Rhode Island City?

[brian pushes Jillian out of the house]

Stewie: It's like she's fucking five!

 

Stewie [Talking about Jillian]: All right, Brian, you can do this. You can dump her, because once it's done, never again will you have to listen to her talk like this? You know, where everything has a question mark at the end of it? With an upward inflection? At the end of every sentence?

  • Love 3

For some reason I can't but not help but feel weird watching the preview for this episode. Its that I can't really see the Simpsons living in the same world as Family Guy and also I found a 4:14 minute preview for the episode on youtube (warning this has some major spoilers in it):

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TnhcbZmmB0U

Edited by TVSpectator

I also watched it early via Global Maritimes, but I loved it and all the meta references. They just took a lot of pre-emptive strikes, knowing the interwebs would be merciless. So they owned it and ran with it.

I thought it was clever and fun and was impressed by how many secondary characters they managed to squeeze in.

Plus, an homage to that original prime time animated buffoon - Fred Flintstone.

Heh, a Modern Family - All in the Family crossover.

  • Love 1

"I smell another cheap cartoon crossover." So...this episode happened. The Simpsons jokes came off MUCH better than the Family Guy stuff. Hell, I thought this was a better Simpsons episode than the Simpsons episode that was just on! They even managed to showcase lots of seldom seen characters lately: Apu, Dr. Nick, Patty & Selma, etc., and Hans Moleman being the car thief. Lots of unnecessary meanness though, but that's most likely from the Family Guy side of the writing.

 

"Springfield eh? What state?"
"I can't imagine we're allowed to stay." Sometimes it's the simple meta things.

 

I got a little kick out of the Simpsons being concerned about Brian being a dog while being unfazed by Stewie being able to talk.

 

"I matter!"
"Shut up Meg, you don't matter!" As mean as that was, I actually liked Lisa trying to bond with Meg.

 

Family Guy voices coming out of Simpsons characters, that's what I find the most jarring in this episode.

 

You know what? Not that shocked that Pawtucket Patriot is literally rebranded Duff. It did seem to go downhill after Pawtucket Pat sold the brewery.

 

Loved the hell out of the courthouse scene with the obligatory comparison between the show's characters. Showing both version of James Woods was my favorite part. Also, anyone else spot Matt Groening sitting next to Seth? And yes, I liked how Fred Flinstone called out both Peter and Homer for being derivative.

 

I want to watch the story of Roger going to camp with Kang and Kodos, okay?

 

ETA: "Worst. Chicken Fight. Ever." I liked it, but this show's style of violence just seems so off-putting in the world of the Simpsons. They're much more slapsticky, and I was cringing quite a few times during the fight.

Edited by Galileo908

What the deuces, that was pretty good! Woohoo!  Ok, the chicken fight was a bit long and was REALLY not the Simpsons style of violence but the callbacks to many of the Simpsons lore came back to life.  My favourite was the dueling James Woods.  (The Simpsons version came out better.) 

 

But man, never thought Stewie would grieve over missing Bart.

Edited by mtlchick

My favorite part was hearing Stewie asking Bart, "So, how long has he been doing this to you?" Bart's replied, "24 years."

 

As with the court house scene, it was nice to see all of the character's comparisons side by side. 

 

I didn't really like the fight scene, it seemed so off seeing Homer not getting winded after a few seconds of fighting. 

 

I also noticed that MacFarlane squeezed in a few other characters (like Roger) into the show and we got to see, briefly, Bob from Bob's Burgers

 

Overall, I would rather like to think that this episode didn't happened or that maybe this was all a dream by Peter. 

Edited by TVSpectator
  • Love 1

I loved it and agree with Shermie that it was clever and fun. Much better than I expected. My favorite storyline was Brian with Santa's Stupid Name. 

 

I really don't think it was clever at all. Yes, they did a lot of meta jokes and they brought back a million of old Simpsons' references and characters, but overall, this felt like a Family Guy episode trying to imitate a Simpsons episode, and then just give up half way and ended in a Family Guyesque way (with a Giant Chicken fight that has massive deaths and destruction all around two characters). Overall, it was okay because of the Simpsons part, that actually felt like an old Simpsons' episode. 

Edited by TVSpectator
  • Love 3

This will mark the first time I've sat down to watch either show in years.

 

Same here.  And after seeing this, I have no desire to start watching them again.

 

It wasn't horrible, but it wasn't great, either.  Once the meta stuff died down, it just got boring.  The Peter/Homer fight went on way too long, and was only saved by the Roger Smith appearance, IMO.  I was expecting more to be going on with the other family, but it really was centered around Homer and Peter.  Besides the movie bit, did Marge and Lois have anything to do?

 

Even thought the Meg bashing is old by now, screw you Peter, for throwing away her saxophone.  Poor Meg can't have anything.

Like some of you, this was the first time I had watched either show in a long time. I thought it was fun. It reminded me of why I loved The Simpsons back in the day. Even though I haven't seen TS in about 10 years, I think I picked up most of the references, which probably says a lot.

 

Kudos to everyone involved for being playful about it. There was meta, but I also felt a bit of heart and mutual appreciation in there.

I enjoyed the episode till the Peter/Chicken....er Homer fight.  There was no reason for this episode to be an hour, and the fact that it felt like the last 30 min was just the fight proves that. 

 

I enjoyed all the jokes about how they couldn't say the name of the state, and that the Simpsons would never allow the Griffins on their show, and all those meta jokes previously mentioned to be good.  I still get a kick out of FG bashing the Cleveland shows failure at every opportunity.

  • Love 3

I liked it up until the chicken fight. I have always HATED the chicken scenes and the fights are just ridiculously long. Way too long in my opinion.

I've never been a Simpsons fan but I love Family Guy, a lot of the Simpsons references went over my head but overall, I liked it.

Edited by Maharincess

I actually enjoyed it more than I thought I would. The references were amusing, the cameos of characters from other shows were nice and the Homer/Peter scenes surprisingly didn't annoy that much to be honest.

 

I liked that Lisa gave Meg some encouragement, though it'll be forgotten because this show is obsessed with abusing Meg as a character. Still, some good scenes though.

 

Stewie going out of his way to impress Bart by terrorising Nelsan and company was hilarious. I would've loved more scenes with Stewie/Bart.

 

Brian and Chris - there was a struggle to give them anything decent, which is why they were probably left with Santa's Little Helper. Same with Lois, Marge and Maggie as well.

 

The fight scene dragged out though but they always do. Still a lot better than expected, 7/10

 

"I matter!"

"Shut up Meg, you don't matter!" As mean as that was, I actually liked Lisa trying to bond with Meg.

For a moment there, I thought Lisa was going to give Meg a note that says "You are Meg Griffin."

 

It had its moments, but I preferred the Simpsons-style stuff to the Family Guy-style stuff.  I did like "Santa's Stupid Name" and "I'm in the wrong Springfield."  And I'm torn about all the meta -- some of it worked and was clever, but some of it was forced and felt like they were trying to pre-empt criticism.  Bob's cameo was a bonus.  And Roger's "Thanks for having me!"

 

One more thing: I know it's animated, but Homer and Peter in Daisy Dukes can never be unseen.  (shudders.)

That was the worst part!  I hate that song, and while I'm used to that sort of visual joke for Peter, seeing Homer like that was wrong wrong wrong.

Edited by beadgirl

I was hoping that the families would have more to do together. This was basically the Homer and Peter show between the car wash scene and the chicken fight. Cut out one of those. 

 

I did think it was clever to have Fred Flintstone though. I think the hating between both sets of fans is ridiculously stupid and massively short sighted, and I think both TPTBs put that non argument to rest in a funny way.

I couldn't believe that they didn't touch on The Flintstones debt to The Honeymooners in that part.

 

Which the Simpsons had already covered several years ago:

 

"Okay, maybe my dad did steal Itchy, but so what? Animation is built on plagiarism! If it weren't for someone plagiarizing the Honeymooners, we wouldn't have the Flintstones. If someone hadn't ripped off Sgt. Bilko, they'd be no Top Cat. Huckleberry Hound, Chief Wiggum, Yogi Bear? Hah! Andy Griffith, Edward G. Robinson, Art Carney."

 

  • Love 1

I thought the episode was better than the average recent Simpsons or Family Guy episode.  And the voice actors seemed to bring their A game.  But I kind of wished the first half would have been a Family Guy episode and the second half a Simpsons episode (kind of like how Law & Order / Homicide Life on the Street crossovers worked so long ago).  It was a bit jarring having Simpsons characters with Family Guy violence (chicken fight).  In fact the only 2 parts of the fight I liked were Roger's cameo, and jumping Springfield Gorge.

There were parts of the episode I liked, I am a Simpsons fan and thought that they were written well but again that fight scene all Family guy, was just waaaay too long.

 

Best bits were Marge saying dogs eat in the kitchen, heh and Stewie crying over Barts rejection. I liked how Lisa gave Meg her sax but so sad once again she gets screwed over and Peter threw it in the trash. Thought a better idea would have been her being able to keep it and it could have been a running gag in actual Family Guy episodes.

The Peter/Homer fight was pure filler since there wasn't enough story to fill the one hour. Too bad because until then, they did well contrasting the shows, for reasons other posters have mentioned. The best contrast was showing Stewie's reaction to Nelson, relative to how Bart deals with Nelson. Another good one was although Peter himself is a horrible father, he was genuinely disgusted by learning from Homer that he strangles Bart. What they weren't able to reconcile with the episode is the social ills that contaminated the Simpson's world. Lisa recognized the issues in the family, but didn't know how to deal with it. The best Marge could do was banish Brian to the kitchen and snipe at Lois for not wearing a bra. Odd episode. 

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