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The Lonely Js Club: James, Jackson & Johannah


Message added by Scarlett45,

Discussing the charges against Jana is fine, but do not post any information that reveals her address/contact information- even if said documents are public (i.e. a part of court proceedings.)

Discussing charges against Jana is NOT a jumping off point to speculate on other instances abuse/neglect etc towards the M-children or to elaborate on Josh's conviction and potential victims.  

 

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I'd describe Kendra as "pleasant looking" if that makes sense. I don't think she's gorgeous, but I don't think she's a troll either. She looks like your standard white bread Fundie girl about to get married way too young.

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4 hours ago, Ripley68 said:

 

If they have been "courting" for a while - I'm guessing Joe wants to get some pretty bad and engagement/wedding is not far off. Does he have any skill/job/career JB has forced him into?

 

I'm curious about the "courting for a while" rumor. I assume that it can only mean that they've been within a couple of feet of each other in a series of large crowds at family gatherings and church events?

Because the fact that they apparently haven't yet spoken on the phone or texted -- or at least only very minimally, since those are two of the things she's now "looking forward to"-- makes it sound as if they've basically had pretty close to zero one-on-one conversations. And we know they haven't touched. Or, probably, gone anywhere together. Since she also mentioned she's "looking forward to" being out in public.

So these two innocents think that they've been "courting" (which is the runup to inevitable marriage unless something disastrous happens -- and since this wedding is tv-scheduled, nothing disastrous will be allowed to happen) without having touched, spoken one-on-one, or gone anywhere together? Man, even "courting" is getting more convent-like all the time, if that's the case.  I suppose Jizm Bob figures their mistake with Josiah and Marjorie was to let them get to know each other too well too soon so there was time for somebody to see flaws in the arrangement. Not gonna let that happen again. No siree. 

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11 minutes ago, Churchhoney said:

 

Because the fact that they apparently haven't yet spoken on the phone or texted -- or at least only very minimally, since those are two of the things she's now "looking forward to"-- makes it sound as if they've basically had pretty close to zero one-on-one conversations. And we know they haven't touched. Or, probably, gone anywhere together. Since she also mentioned she's "looking forward to" being out in public.

That's why I'm leaning towards this being arranged by the fathers. In the video, Joe mumbles a convoluted explanation of how he met Kendra, as if he was having trouble staying on script. IMO, that shouldn't be a difficult question to answer. I think you're right that they sorta knew each other in passing, but had little conversation or contact until Boob and Pastor put their heads together and cooked up a courtship. Similar to Joy and Austin, nothing about these two feels authentic.

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Just now, BitterApple said:

That's why I'm leaning towards this being arranged by the fathers. In the video, Joe mumbles a convoluted explanation of how he met Kendra, as if he was having trouble staying on script. IMO, that shouldn't be a difficult question to answer. I think you're right that they sorta knew each other in passing, but had little conversation or contact until Boob and Pastor put their heads together and cooked up a courtship. Similar to Joy and Austin, nothing about these two feels authentic.

Agree. Hence my thread-title suggestion: The Duggwells: Two Creepy Dads, One Arranged Marriage 

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2 hours ago, Albanyguy said:

Boy, that would send Michelle right over the edge! Being pregnant at the same time as one of her daughters/daughters-in-law would have been the crowning achievement of her lifetime.

She was. She was pregnant with Josie while Anna was pregnant with Mac. 

18 minutes ago, BitterApple said:

That's why I'm leaning towards this being arranged by the fathers. In the video, Joe mumbles a convoluted explanation of how he met Kendra, as if he was having trouble staying on script. IMO, that shouldn't be a difficult question to answer. I think you're right that they sorta knew each other in passing, but had little conversation or contact until Boob and Pastor put their heads together and cooked up a courtship. Similar to Joy and Austin, nothing about these two feels authentic.

I would like to hope that Joe and Kendra spotted each other in a group event, or at church, or at a wedding- JB seeing how they got on talked to Kendra's father about making the courtship happen when she turned 18. The only couples I believe liked each other organically when they first met were Josh/Anna and Jinger/Jeremy. 

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I just have to say you all are on fire with your comments! (Joy and Kendra playing stickers is my favorite!)  I am so thirsty but I had to stop because I choked while laughing and reading them. Carry on! 

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14 hours ago, Mollie said:

I don't normally comment on people affected by delayed mental development, but does this sound like a woman who is ready for marriage? 

Kendra: "I am looking forward to the side-hugs and to phone calls and texting and also being able to do ministry and stuff together and out in public and everybody knowing that we're courting."

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-4294834/Joseph-Duggar-starts-courting-Kendra-Caldwell.html

Yeesh   

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I think Boob was so humiliated by the Jinger/Jeremy courtship and his loss of control that he has done everything he can to make the next courtships 100% wholesome. Sounds like he has hit the jackpot with Austin and Kendra! They seem more sheltered and repressed than Duggars, if possible. And of course, they are completely fundie, and have been their whole lives.

Maybe Boob feels having lifelong fundies is for the best, because we all have seen the flop that was Derick. Jeremy had way too much control for Boob's taste, and took jinger away from the fold. Ben grew up pretty fundie, but still likes things like Christian rap. Boob wants to get a handle on all this before they get more and more worldly and out of control!

i do believe that a Jana courtship is his trump card, for when ratings really plummet. Then again, I wonder if he trusts he onscreen. She apparently has a rebellious streak, which we haven't really seen except for eye rolls, but wouldn't it be funny if he was terrified for her to have a televised courtship because of how she might behave?

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15 hours ago, Mollie said:

I don't normally comment on people affected by delayed mental development, but does this sound like a woman who is ready for marriage? 

Kendra: "I am looking forward to the side-hugs and to phone calls and texting and also being able to do ministry and stuff together and out in public and everybody knowing that we're courting."

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-4294834/Joseph-Duggar-starts-courting-Kendra-Caldwell.html

No, haha.  She in fact sounds like a girl who's happy to be in a courtship because then she gets to do Real Grownup Things like Have Everybody Know I'm Tagged, Y'all!

45 minutes ago, Christina87 said:

Maybe Boob feels having lifelong fundies is for the best, because we all have seen the flop that was Derick. Jeremy had way too much control for Boob's taste, and took jinger away from the fold. Ben grew up pretty fundie, but still likes things like Christian rap. Boob wants to get a handle on all this before they get more and more worldly and out of control!

Plus, to be fair, wasn't Jeremy Ben's idea/first contact, truly?  (I wasn't positive if we uniformly believe this version of the story, but he seems like the kind of person Ben/Jessa would be all "Eh, I think he's close enough to what Mom & Dad would like... right?  Right?")  

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Good heavens. Another arranged marriage. Neither of them has a job or is able to support themselves.........why? Just why?

That's a girl, not even close to being a mature wife, why would they think this is good??

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11 hours ago, Christina87 said:

I think Boob was so humiliated by the Jinger/Jeremy courtship and his loss of control that he has done everything he can to make the next courtships 100% wholesome. 

Well, wholesome and successful. The Jer/Jing thing may have upset him in one way, but he had totally lost the Josiah/Marjorie one right before that. And the J/M one was, just like these, clearly teed up as the viewer-bait for a new Duggar season. 

To get back on track, I guess he's gone with simply ordering the most malleable people into pairings. Those he can control completely, both in timing and content, I suppose. I'd love to see one of them backfire on him in some way, but I don't think that's going to happen. These seem to be four human handpuppets, basically. 

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7 hours ago, MunichNark said:

Good heavens. Another arranged marriage. Neither of them has a job or is able to support themselves.........why? Just why?

That's a girl, not even close to being a mature wife, why would they think this is good??

Best to get the 'kids' married off before they develop 'urges that can not be righteously fulfilled', right? Better a crappy fake marriage than God forbid hugging, or....gasp....kissing before marriage. God must be awfully busy keeping track of all this shit.

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JB and MEchelle were young when they married, IIRC she was so young she had to get her parents to consent to the marriage.

I loathe the Duggars for many reasons, but a lot of people get married when young.

It seems that each of the latest two courtships (Joe/Kendra and Joy/Austin) are pairings of like-minded young people, legally adult, with similar backgrounds.

It might not be my idea of what to do with their lives, and I get to snark because they are getting paid by TLC and magazines and heaven knows who else, to be reality TV stahs. But the bottom line is, that it's their business, and their decision, and even if we think their parents meddled a lot to make it happen? Despite all our snark and pearl-clutching (including my own), arranged marriages happen all the time, in many cultures, and are probably no more or less likely to have happy outcomes than non-parental-arranged matches. 

Edited by Jeeves
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44 minutes ago, Jeeves said:

It seems that each of the latest two courtships (Joe/Kendra and Joy/Austin) are pairings of like-minded young people, legally adult, with similar backgrounds.

Yep, they're all adults. I wasn't homeschooled, but I was raised by drill sergeant parents in a cultish religion (Charismatic/Four Square). Thankfully, homeschooling wasn't a "thing" and my parents were too poor for more than a few years of church school, so I did get to go to public school. BUT, I was socially immature and used to obeying authority. I moved out the day after I graduated from high school, married my husband at 19, and grew up along the way. My marriage would have lasted longer than it's 20 years if my husband hadn't died. 

All this to say, Joy & Austin and Joe & Kendra will be as happy and successful OR as unhappy and failures as they let themselves be, just like the rest of us.

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2 hours ago, Jeeves said:

 Despite all our snark and pearl-clutching (including my own), arranged marriages happen all the time, in many cultures, and are probably no more or less likely to have happy outcomes than non-parental-arranged matches. 

Many arranged marriages have longevity, because divorce is not an option they have.  This is especially true for the women involved .

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21 hours ago, Ripley68 said:

Kendra's parents look like they are 20 something.  Kendra looks very much like a southern girl.  She's cute, but her face is very round.  She has a nice body, but I bet she'll get a bunch of grief for her round face (people will say she looks fat), and become anorexic or something. 

If they have been "courting" for a while - I'm guessing Joe wants to get some pretty bad and engagement/wedding is not far off. Does he have any skill/job/career JB has forced him into?

Wasn't Joe closest to Jinger and Joy?  I bet he wants to get the hell our of tater town.

He is probably tired of explaining to the laundry slave why there is always one sock missing.  

THE last thing I wanted at 18 was to get married and start having kids.  I was all about no one being my boss, hanging out as late as I wanted, etc.  They are missing out on a lot of really fun and free times.  The gravy train WILL dry up eventually, and lets be honest, most of the Duggars are not interesting enough for their own show.  How are these children going to support themselves?  Their future may be more Rodrigues than Duggar.  Sure JB has some coin.  But divided by the entire family they aren't doing so well.

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16 hours ago, Scarlett45 said:

She was. She was pregnant with Josie while Anna was pregnant with Mac. 

I would like to hope that Joe and Kendra spotted each other in a group event, or at church, or at a wedding- JB seeing how they got on talked to Kendra's father about making the courtship happen when she turned 18. The only couples I believe liked each other organically when they first met were Josh/Anna and Jinger/Jeremy. 

If you think about it its kinda creepy.  This 22 year old man was dating a 17 year old girl.  A young and not worldly 17 year old girl.  No wonder they kept that on the down low.  

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42 minutes ago, Natalie68 said:

If you think about it its kinda creepy.  This 22 year old man was dating a 17 year old girl.  A young and not worldly 17 year old girl.  No wonder they kept that on the down low.  

Yes! In mainstream society it is the equivalent of a sketchy college senior dating a high school student.  These two should be in different places in their lives.  Joseph seems like a nice enough guy, but Kendra sounds young for being 18 years old.  Being young for your age is perfectly normal except when you're making major life decisions.  Joseph has had some life experience, he's traveled and gone away from home.  He was allowed a college experience, even if it was only a year. 

Alyssa Bates Webster and her husband had a similar age difference and it seemed less child bridey. I don't know if it was that Alyssa was more mature, their relationship seems more organic or what. 

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1 hour ago, Natalie68 said:

If you think about it its kinda creepy.  This 22 year old man was dating a 17 year old girl.  A young and not worldly 17 year old girl.  No wonder they kept that on the down low.  

Considering what's allowed in courting, the pre-courting thing wouldn't remotely resemble dating. I do wonder when the courtship started, because when a courtship is announced, it's not the start of the courtship, it means they're engaged. She's had the "ready for TeeVee" courtship teeth bleaching. 

Her face is confusing. She reminds me of someone but I can't recall who it is

kendra-caldwell-and-joseph-duggar.png

Edited by Kokapetl
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15 minutes ago, birkenstock said:

 

Alyssa Bates Webster and her husband had a similar age difference and it seemed less child bridey. I don't know if it was that Alyssa was more mature, their relationship seems more organic or what. 

Alyssa has always struck me as someone who is much more pragmatic about life and marriage than all these Fundie girls who think Prince Charming will ride up to their front door on a white horse. She's much classier than the rest of her family. I remember the scene where she was about to lose her shit when her siblings were eating all the food she was trying to prepare for Allie's birthday party. It's like she's the only one who understands the "aww, shucks, we're just a big raucous family" shtick gets old after about two minutes.

Kendra seems like a fifth grader in comparison. I think she's like Joy where she hasn't been encouraged to have any aspirations beyond marrying the first boy who looks her way and popping out an army of blessings.

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These latest courtships prove that the Duggars have a lower class of fundie friends than the Bateses do because at least the Bates kids and in-laws have a chance at making money due to a real homeschooling education, even with the creationism aspect thrown in to the mix.

Also, the Duggar rents are terrified of losing their TV show whereas I don't think the Bateses care if their show gets canceled.

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55 minutes ago, Kokapetl said:

Considering what's allowed in courting, the pre-courting thing wouldn't remotely resemble dating. I do wonder when the courtship started, because when a courtship is announced, it's not the start of the courtship, it means they're engaged. She's had the "ready for TeeVee" courtship teeth bleaching. 

Her face is confusing. She reminds me of someone but I can't recall who it is

kendra-caldwell-and-joseph-duggar.png

She does look familiar and I don't know why.  

Whether or not their dating looks like real non fundy dating its creepy for a man, who is the age of a college graduate, dating/courting/talking with a purpose/etc, a girl who is the age of an *almost* high school graduate (a senior would be just turning 18 now unless they were like me and did at the end of summer after graduating).  A girl under 18 is illegal for a dude over 18 to date.  A girl of 18 25 years ago is different than a girl of 18 now.  Kids had more responsibility back then and were less sheltered it seems (most kids I knew had jobs by 12 or 13 during summer and breaks.  I see 20 somethings all the time who have NEVER had a job and it is very common).  And this Joe was one of the ones with Josiah musing how now that the girls left they find no food or clean clothes at the house.  So at 22 he is also not ready for prime time.  How depressing it must be to go from mom and dads house to washing some dudes underpants and keeping his house.

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24 minutes ago, Natalie68 said:

She does look familiar and I don't know why.  

Whether or not their dating looks like real non fundy dating its creepy for a man, who is the age of a college graduate, dating/courting/talking with a purpose/etc, a girl who is the age of an *almost* high school graduate (a senior would be just turning 18 now unless they were like me and did at the end of summer after graduating).  A girl under 18 is illegal for a dude over 18 to date.  A girl of 18 25 years ago is different than a girl of 18 now.  Kids had more responsibility back then and were less sheltered it seems (most kids I knew had jobs by 12 or 13 during summer and breaks.  I see 20 somethings all the time who have NEVER had a job and it is very common).  And this Joe was one of the ones with Josiah musing how now that the girls left they find no food or clean clothes at the house.  So at 22 he is also not ready for prime time.  How depressing it must be to go from mom and dads house to washing some dudes underpants and keeping his house.

The age of consent in Arkansas is 16, so had any sexual contact occurred, it would have been legal, but it's extremely unlikely for any to have occurred. 

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Just now, Kokapetl said:

The age of consent in Arkansas is 16, so had any sexual contact occurred, it would have been legal, but it's extremely unlikely for any to have occurred. 

I wasn't referring to them having sex but I understand what you are saying.  I do find it icky for a  man of legal age to be interested in a high school aged girl.  And it should be illegal.  If the parents want to give permission to marry that's another thing not that I would agree with it.

Just now, Jeeves said:

What?? Where?? Are you using the word "date" as meaning "have sexual intercourse with"?

Not at all!!!

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4 minutes ago, Natalie68 said:

I wasn't referring to them having sex but I understand what you are saying.  I do find it icky for a  man of legal age to be interested in a high school aged girl.  And it should be illegal.  If the parents want to give permission to marry that's another thing not that I would agree with it.

I don't think Joe coerced or groomed Kendra. And ultimately no parental consent was required. 

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1 minute ago, Kokapetl said:

I don't think Joe coerced or groomed Kendra. And ultimately no parental consent was required. 

I am not saying Joe coerced or groomed Kendra I am saying the age and stage in life gives me pause.  I work in a university and see kids coming in at 17/18 and see them when they graduate (I supervise kids in that age range).  There is a world of difference in maturity in those ages and based on the brief video her maturity sounds closer to 13 than 20.  

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3 hours ago, Natalie68 said:

I am not saying Joe coerced or groomed Kendra I am saying the age and stage in life gives me pause.  I work in a university and see kids coming in at 17/18 and see them when they graduate (I supervise kids in that age range).  There is a world of difference in maturity in those ages and based on the brief video her maturity sounds closer to 13 than 20.  

She seems very high-school, but it's really difficult to gauge the gap in maturity when both of them are stunted.

Edited by sometimesy
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6 hours ago, Jeeves said:

JB and MEchelle were young when they married, IIRC she was so young she had to get her parents to consent to the marriage.

I loathe the Duggars for many reasons, but a lot of people get married when young.

It seems that each of the latest two courtships (Joe/Kendra and Joy/Austin) are pairings of like-minded young people, legally adult, with similar backgrounds.

It might not be my idea of what to do with their lives, and I get to snark because they are getting paid by TLC and magazines and heaven knows who else, to be reality TV stahs. But the bottom line is, that it's their business, and their decision, and even if we think their parents meddled a lot to make it happen? Despite all our snark and pearl-clutching (including my own), arranged marriages happen all the time, in many cultures, and are probably no more or less likely to have happy outcomes than non-parental-arranged matches. 

But is it really their decision? Or is marriage what they're told is supposed to happen, should happen & will happen? 

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2 hours ago, maraleia said:

These latest courtships prove that the Duggars have a lower class of fundie friends than the Bateses do because at least the Bates kids and in-laws have a chance at making money due to a real homeschooling education, even with the creationism aspect thrown in to the mix.

Also, the Duggar rents are terrified of losing their TV show whereas I don't think the Bateses care if their show gets canceled.

I think that's because the Duggars are "below" the Bates in fundy land. Yes they landed the TLC show, and the fame and money that went a long with it, but I do think 1. Josh's scandal blacklisted them in the eyes of a lot of people a long time ago, and 2. Many of JB's peers (other fundy patriarchs) were disgusted by how he spend $250k of his personal money on a political campaign while his 14children and wife were packed in a 3 bedroom house that was falling a part. I think most of the "fundy patriarchs" that aren't fame whores wouldn't want to subject their daughters to that. 

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2 hours ago, Natalie68 said:

She does look familiar and I don't know why.  

Whether or not their dating looks like real non fundy dating its creepy for a man, who is the age of a college graduate, dating/courting/talking with a purpose/etc, a girl who is the age of an *almost* high school graduate (a senior would be just turning 18 now unless they were like me and did at the end of summer after graduating).  A girl under 18 is illegal for a dude over 18 to date.  A girl of 18 25 years ago is different than a girl of 18 now.  Kids had more responsibility back then and were less sheltered it seems (most kids I knew had jobs by 12 or 13 during summer and breaks.  I see 20 somethings all the time who have NEVER had a job and it is very common).  And this Joe was one of the ones with Josiah musing how now that the girls left they find no food or clean clothes at the house.  So at 22 he is also not ready for prime time.  How depressing it must be to go from mom and dads house to washing some dudes underpants and keeping his house.

She looks familiar because she looks like Jana and any other random Duggar girl.

It is not illegal for a due over 18 to date a girl under 18. Not sure what the age of consent (for intercourse) is in Arkansas, but usually there's a three year window if the girl is under 18 AKA an 18 year old boy can't be jailed for having sex with his consenting 15 year old girl friend. Not that there's any premarital sex going on here.

I don't know, I don't get the Child Bride vibe with this one like I do with Joy, and I also don't think Joe is trying to take advantage of a teenager. He's 22, but more like a normal 18 year old, in my opinion.

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4 minutes ago, RazzleberryPie said:

 

I don't know, I don't get the Child Bride vibe with this one like I do with Joy, and I also don't think Joe is trying to take advantage of a teenager. He's 22, but more like a normal 18 year old, in my opinion.

I think this girl is way too young and immature to get married, but I agree Joe isn't some creeper taking advantage of a younger woman. He's naive, socially stunted and sexually inexperienced himself, so the age difference is pretty moot, IMO.

Edited by BitterApple
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4 minutes ago, BitterApple said:

I think this girl is way too young and immature to get married, but I agree Joe isn't some creeper taking advantage of a younger woman. He's naive, socially stunted and sexually inexperienced himself, so the age difference is pretty moot, IMO.

Yeah, pretty much exactly. On both fronts.

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Just now, BitterApple said:

I think this girl is way too young and immature to get married, but I agree Joe isn't some creeper taking advantage of a younger woman. He's naive, socially stunted and sexually inexperienced himself, so the age difference is pretty moot, IMO.

She absolutely sounds like she's doing what average middle schoolers do with first boyfriends - texting, talking, hugs, etc., and that's sort of sad. I get that you have to start dating at the beginning, and I don't think you have to be 30 and have lived with five men or whatever to be ready for marriage, but I hate that she's tied to the first boy she ever texts, even if Joe seems like a really good guy. Tying marriage to your first crush is way too much pressure.

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3 hours ago, Scarlett45 said:

I think that's because the Duggars are "below" the Bates in fundy land. Yes they landed the TLC show, and the fame and money that went a long with it, but I do think 1. Josh's scandal blacklisted them in the eyes of a lot of people a long time ago, and 2. Many of JB's peers (other fundy patriarchs) were disgusted by how he spend $250k of his personal money on a political campaign while his 14children and wife were packed in a 3 bedroom house that was falling a part. I think most of the "fundy patriarchs" that aren't fame whores wouldn't want to subject their daughters to that. 

I agree that the Bates rank one up from the Duggars in Fundyland. However the Bates were also crammed into a very tiny rundown house until the Duggars kept getting them guest appearances on their show and eventually did a show expanding the Bates house. This occurred after the Bates' first show failed and before the show they have now. So I think Gil & Kelly aren't too far from the Duggar apple tree.

Edited by GeeGolly
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2 minutes ago, GeeGolly said:

I agree that the Bates rank one up form the Duggars in Fundyland. However the Bates were also crammed into a very tiny rundown house until the Duggars kept getting them guest appearances on their show and eventually did a show expanding the Bates house. This occurred after the Bates' first show failed and before the show they have now. So I think Gil & Kelly aren't too far far the Duggar apple tree.

But did the Bates HAVE the extra money and refuse to spend it on proper housing for their family and instead on Gil's hobbies? That's what I meant. I think in fundy land it's understood people may be poor, but having liquid cash and actively deciding to make your family live that way would be looked down upon by more well to do members of the community. 

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I think the age difference is a moot point, too. Joe reminds me of a regular high school guy with his first girlfriend, although Kendra reminds me of a middle school girl with her first boyfriend. However, I'm sure she'll give me less of the middle school vibe than Jill; nobody could be more cringeworthy than she was!!! In some ways, joe may be a sweeter boyfriend with his stunted maturity than a normal 22-year-old would be. It seems that often, high school boyfriends are so sweet and loving to their girlfriends, but then they go to college, join a fraternity, sleep with perfect 10's, and come out of college thinking they deserve a swimsuit model. A normal 22-year-old joe would never give Kendra a chance, and would instead feel entitled to someone of Jessa's attractiveness, or maybe even higher. 

ETA: Joy and Austin remind me of middle school students on their first movie date, with their parents sitting behind them. I think this is more joy's fault than Austin's, because she plays up the dumb. 

Edited by Christina87
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1 minute ago, Christina87 said:

 A normal 22-year-old joe would never give Kendra a chance, and would instead feel entitled to someone of Jessa's attractiveness, or maybe even higher. 

I've often wondered if that's the problem with JD. Something about him gives me the impression he wants a wife who's totally out of his league. 

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