S01.E02: Par For The Strip Golf Course

[Tara Ariano]

Quote

Ashley confronts hard truths about her marriage in the aftermath of her house fire. Meanwhile, Hannah looks forward to a future with Louis, but all bets are off when Louis plays strip golf with Ashley; and the ladies attend a traditional bridal shower.

[sasha206]

I can't believe this show is supposed to be a spinoff of Southern Charm.  A cast full of ugly for the most part.   Their homes are ugly.  The hottest one is I suppose Ashley, and she's really not all that.  She wants desperately to be the one everyone wants to fuck.  She wants desperately to be considered some kooky quirky designer genius.  It just comes off desperate.

[Sun-Bun]

Wow...this isn't getting any better. Savannah itself is absolutely lovely, but this cast? Zzzzzzz....still lame. Doughy-looking. Not enough real estate porn between any of them.

I can barely tell Happy and the other boring brunette Hannah apart...and her sock douche is every bit as bland as she is---I found myself nearly nodding off during their one sad little scene. 

Oh wait, Hannah is the one who is scandalized that her fella took his shirt off while golfing with Ashley, who stripped down to her bodysuit. Got it. So she's boring AND uptight. Bless her heart.

I see the basic bitches are now banding together to slut-shame the town attention whore Ashley. Because of course they are. How dare she scandalize a bridal shower by wearing a little black romper, that harlot. I'll bet those Christian bitches even voted for Trump, right Ashley?! ((I actually agreed completely with her anti-Trump views, but that's thankfully where our agreements end)).

Stick a fork in this series: if it doesn't get any better in 2-3 episodes, it'll be done.

Edited May 16, 2017 by Sun-Bun

[Bronzedog]

Is it 1957 in Savannah?  Is Savannah in the south?  Are they all southerners?  Is living in the south so foreign a concept that it must be constantly mentioned?  Is it harder to be granted permission to live in the south than it is to be a housewife in Potomac?  BTW, we in the Mid Atlantic live to fail our families.  These people are absurd.  I don't think I can take it.

Edited May 16, 2017 by Bronzedog

[sasha206]

4 minutes ago, Sun-Bun said:

I can barely tell Hoppy and the other boring brunette Hannah apart...and her sock douche is every bit as basic as she is---I found myself nearly nodding off during their one sad little scene. 

Same here!  They are both so bland and basic.

[mbaywife123]

I really don't like anyone on this show.

Ashley reminds me of friend I dropped years ago (and yes she was one of the eldest in our group of friends but comported herself like she was one of the most immature).Her behavior just became too much and it stressed me out everytime our group of friends had a get together I had to just start excluding her from the group and believe me everyone else was relieved as well.

[sasha206]

Did I hear right?  Bland brunette #1 sharing her story of liberation from her dad's domain? As if she were a real life Scarlett O'Hara, for God as my witness I will never be hungry again!  When all she did was what most normal people do -- get a job and move out.

[sasha206]

Happy has the most horrendous vocal fry.

That was some gripping dramatic scene on stripgolfgate at the most boring bridal shower I've ever seen.

Who told the young blonde she is hot or something special?  She really thinks she is the cutest thing ever.

[Primetimer]

Get ready for some good old-fashioned slut-shaming.

View the full article

[Petunia13]

Years ago my younger cousin rented My Father, the Hero and was disappointed to find it was not an adventure movie starring a parental figure. Rather a farcical movie about a wayward Euro dad and his precocious teen daughter pretending to sleep with him. I'm reminded of this, a show that despite it's name depicts none of the appeal of either (OG) Southern Charm or Savannah. 

Where are these storylines going and why?

[MrsBestes]

No one is likable on this show. I seriously hate everyone. It's such a shame because Savannah is such a gorgeous city with rich culture & history. I would love to visit there someday! How did they decide on this boring bunch?! Oh and if I have to watch Ashley strip down to her bathing suit/underwear one more time I'm done. 

[bichonblitz]

Holy Ashley! Those pics of her from years ago when she first got married compared to now.... looks like a totally different person. That is some serious plastic surgery right there. 

The brunette with the muslim boyfriend- I agree, that is the worst and most annoying vocal fry I have ever heard. She sounds like she's about to cry every time she opens her mouth. 

Why do they keep trying to portray Savannah as some scary ghost town? It's so much more than that. 

The only thing I learned tonight is that I'm craving some Chocolate Chess pie. 

[Lizzing]

How did these people get cast in the first place?  The lot of them are too boring and average looking for even the most basic episode of House Hunters.  The ghost of Jim Williams should put this show down with one of his many weapons.

[Giselle]

45 minutes ago, Lizzing said:

How did these people get cast in the first place?  The lot of them are too boring and average looking for even the most basic episode of House Hunters.  The ghost of Jim Williams should put this show down with one of his many weapons.

I bet the "top rung" kids of "Country Day", now adults, and the more interesting crowd of Savannah, those with real lives and wealth, were smart and said "No thank you. We're not that desperate for money or fame." What we're getting the second string who were always trying to hard.

[Giselle]

10 hours ago, sasha206 said:

I can't believe this show is supposed to be a spinoff of Southern Charm.  A cast full of ugly for the most part.   Their homes are ugly.  The hottest one is I suppose Ashley, and she's really not all that.  She wants desperately to be the one everyone wants to fuck.  She wants desperately to be considered some kooky quirky designer genius.  It just comes off desperate.

A hot mess is all I see.

You can see her trying too hard.

Bless her heart.

[bosawks]

My reaction to naked  golf was would I find it more uncomfortable to play in a lacy leotard with wool knee socks or commando in khaki shorts?

Truly a debate for the ages......

[gunderda]

Ugh Ashley..... quit trying to so hard!!!!!

Is she the product of a bad marriage??? She's desperately seeking attention and she's way too old for that.  When she was first going on about how terrible her marriage was I thought "well... here goes another marriage due to a reality tv show...." and then suddenly she wants to stay married to him because he was there to put out a fire.  Something about someone that would save himself over HER child.  Uhhhhh isn't it THEIR child??? I would sure hope the dad would try to save the kid.  Although it doesn't look like he was so much trying to save the kid but more trying to save their house. 

And did someone seriously name their kid Happy???

[sasha206]

1 hour ago, gunderda said:

Ugh Ashley..... quit trying to so hard!!!!!

Is she the product of a bad marriage??? She's desperately seeking attention and she's way too old for that.  When she was first going on about how terrible her marriage was I thought "well... here goes another marriage due to a reality tv show...." and then suddenly she wants to stay married to him because he was there to put out a fire.  Something about someone that would save himself over HER child.  Uhhhhh isn't it THEIR child??? I would sure hope the dad would try to save the kid.  Although it doesn't look like he was so much trying to save the kid but more trying to save their house. 

And did someone seriously name their kid Happy???

I loved that in one of her first scenes:  "My family is everything. I could've lost them. House is haunted and built on Indian Burial grounds.  Thank you husband who either doesn't fuck me or I don't want to fuck, you're the greatest for saving my kid who may or may not be your kids as well."   Next scene with one of the bland brunettes:  "Yeah, so great he saved my kid.  But there's no romance.    Scene after that:  "Let's play strip golf random men on show!"  Someone please give this woman some man meat.

Edited May 16, 2017 by sasha206

[gunderda]

1 minute ago, sasha206 said:

I loved that in one of her first scenes:  "My family is everything. I could've lost them. House is haunted and built on Indian Burial grounds.  Thank you husband who either doesn't fuck me or I don't want to fuck, you're the greatest for saving my kid who may or may not be your kids as well."   Next scene with one of the bland brunettes:  "Yeah, so great he saved my kid.  But there's no romance.    Scene after that:  "Let's play strip golf random men on show!"  Someone please give this woman some man meat.

She HAS to be sleeping around right?? Well maybe not around... but she seems like the type that if she's not getting it from her husband then she's getting it somewhere else.  Because she looks for attention way too desperately and hard. 

I wanted to like her but she needs to dial it down A LOT. 

[JenE4]

Ashley is the biggest try hard in the history of famewhoredom. She's making me bust out an "I can't even"--and I'm way too old to be uttering that phrase. She can't be for real, right? I feel like a bucket full o' Personality Plus dumped on her head--and there was nothing left to go around for the rest of them, save for Nelson who must have been in the splash zone. This casting is just way too lopsided. Surely somewhere in Savannah they could have found a cast in between these extremes.

[biakbiak]

OMG the clutter in Ashley's home, I could not even deal, surprised the whole thing didn't burn to the ground there was so much crap to fuel the fire.

Why on earth would you get remarried for your 8 year old son when he never had any memories of them as a couple when there are absolutely no romantic or even sexual interest in each other. Based on what she said Dennis is Izzy`s father and he definitely looks like him.

[Sun-Bun]

Something else that seriously bothers me about this show: I cannot handle actually hearing producers chiming in and asking questions/chatting with reality show participants during their talking heads. Unless this is "Big Brother", it just seems completely out of place.

It just makes me think either the people are too boring to move these conversations along without someone provoking/prodding them, or the producers are so hammy themselves that they just want to hear themselves speaking on camera.

Ever noticed how the successful reality shows don't use this tactic? Only the shitty ones. And definitely not the original SC.

[Dmc306]

These people are boring! Hey! Did you guys know Savannah is full of southerners? Southerner this and that, honey I realize this is reality tv, but I think we know this a southern show.. I have a feeling if we turned that word into a drinking game on this show, we'd be wasted and it might be a little more enjoyable..

Super blonde in the (probably) sexless marriage, leave your dang clothes on and act like an adult.. You aren't cute nor funny, and you have an older child (poor boy..) Maybe if he husband had sex with her, she wouldn't feel the need to always be taking off her clothes and hunting down that attention. (I am guessg the guys she went golfing with aren't actually her "friends" because how would you not know your friend is pretty good at golf? Or played golf in college.)  I don't know, this woman just tries oh so very hard....

And I'm only 30 minutes in, yeah this isn't going very well....

[biakbiak]

28 minutes ago, Sun-Bun said:

I cannot handle actually hearing producers chiming in and asking questions/chatting with reality show participants during their talking heads. Unless this is "Big Brother", it just seems completely out of place.

Yeah they did the same thing on MDL: San Francisco and it added nothing.

Because I am a bit of a beverage snob I beleive you shouldn't serve Cook's at your bridal shower! 

 

2 minutes ago, Dmc306 said:

in the (probably) sexless

It's definitely sexless, she said they hadn't had sex since before Izzy was born. So they haven't even consummated their second marriage.

[Dmc306]

2 minutes ago, biakbiak said:

It's definitely sexless, she said they hadn't had sex since before Izzy was born. So they haven't even consummated their second marriage.

That to me is so odd.. I now want to know what their actual situation is but I'm not sure if I can handle rewatching that part. She just seems like such a sad woman.

Edited May 16, 2017 by Dmc306
Had some weird double posting thing going on

[Dmc306]

Okay, finished the episode. Less Ashley, and putting the mindset that this isn't an older Bravo show (because it's too something, I can't put my finger on it.) (I hope that makes sense.) For some reason i will probably continue watching this crap, atleast for a few more episodes (it hasn't reached the Apres Ski, that travel show that disappeared and reappeared, or Sweet Home Oklahoma level of I just can't with these people (although I will admit to finishing out the first season of Apres..) 

[scenicbyway]

This is the best cast they could get out of Savannah?  Did one producer just go to a "Country Day School" reunion to recruit them?  Where's the gentility? Where's the cool clothes?  Where's the beauty that is Savannah?  I mean, the place isn't just one big sweaty haunted house.

Catherine--Wow her parents were giving her shade for her first apartment.  It's a nice apartment!  And REALLY nice for a first apartment.  Her Dad made it sound like she was going to be selling or buying drugs in the alley.  Give her a break!

Nelson-- I think he had potential at some point (before this series) but he's so snobby and not an interesting snobby.

Hannah--  Is just a mean girl?  That's not great tv either because she isn't very good at it.  She half heartedly gets mad at her boyfriend for the golf, but she's really mad at Ashley.  I mean your boyfriend participated so...

Happy-- Is going to have a hard life and will end up choosing between her mother and her husband...ON EVERTYHING.  Does she even want a Cross in her house?

Ashley--  Is so attention hungry.  I get that she's the "Katherine" of this Southern Charm.  And there will be fall somewhere along the way.  To me it since she is so "out there" it appears that her husband is the opposite (which he might not naturally be, but, her behavior drives him the opposite direction).  No wonder she was scared about a fire, her kid was sleeping on wooden pallets!  Ugh.  It didn't look like that big of a fire, especially since they could still live in the house, it's too bad he got burned in the process.

I hope this series has a short life or a recast, it's just blah.

[sasha206]

I can't for the life of me understand why a couple would agree to go on a show and divulge something as personal as having a sexless marriage.  But maybe there's truly nothing else interesting about her.  And maybe they are staying together because they make little money and it's too expensive for them to be divorced? 

[Giselle]

3 hours ago, biakbiak said:

OMG the clutter in Ashley's home, I could not even deal, surprised the whole thing didn't burn to the ground there was so much crap to fuel the fire.

Why on earth would you get remarried for your 8 year old son when he never had any memories of them as a couple when there are absolutely no romantic or even sexual interest in each other. Based on what she said Dennis is Izzy`s father and he definitely looks like him.

 That is what I came on this thread to post!!!

I chuckled  at the basket piled high with shoes on top of other crap on the chair that said "organize, organize, organize, organze " around the rim. Crap even piled on the stairs!

[biakbiak]

3 minutes ago, sasha206 said:

And maybe they are staying together because they make little money and it's too expensive for them to be divorced? 

They just got remarried so that doesn't seem to be the case. Also, she moved back to Savannah three years ago, I believe from LA, I wonder where her husband was living and how involved he was in Izzy's life before if he still lived in Savannah. Their whole story is just weird.

[sasha206]

Just now, biakbiak said:

They just got remarried so that doesn't seem to be the case. Also, she moved back to Savannah three years ago, I believe from LA, I wonder where her husband was living and how involved he was in Izzy's life before if he still lived in Savannah. Their whole story is just weird.

But if they get back together, there aren't two residences to maintain.  Child support is expensive. Maybe he couldn't hack it?  Maybe she wasn't racking in the dough either.  To live in LA is pretty darn expensive.  By LA, I think Cali right?

[biakbiak]

1 minute ago, sasha206 said:

But if they get back together, there aren't two residences to maintain.  Child support is expensive. Maybe he couldn't hack it?  Maybe she wasn't racking in the dough either.  To live in LA is pretty darn expensive.  By LA, I think Cali right?

She was living in Savannah before they got married, it appears that is her house because she said before they got remarried Izzy used to sleep on the second floor and moved to the death trap haunted third floor after they got married which makes me believe that they sleep in separate bedrooms because why else would he need to move to the third floor, it's not like they needed more privacy for their wild sex life. I imagine Dennis will now be banished to the third floor.

I was wrong Ashley wasn't in LA she and Izzy lived various places abroad.

[Giselle]

 That poor damn fish. Even his fish bowl is filled with decorative crap and it looks like it needs to be cleaned.

There is no place to rest your eye.

[Petunia13]

If the Swamp Queen Lady Godiva routine is how they plan keep viewers interested  

[jaybird2]

ashley looks shop worn and much older than the rest of the cast

[The Solution]

12 hours ago, gunderda said:

And did someone seriously name their kid Happy???

She's from an old Savannah family, dahlin'. Her real name is Hepzibah.

[bichonblitz]

Ashley has the worst wardrobe on this show. Or any show. Who the hell still wears hi-top sneakers with dresses? That style has been gone for years. And that black short jumpsuit thingy that was cut up to her crotch with her saggy boobs hanging out at the prim and proper southern shower.  Ugh! Isn't she supposed to be a fashion designer? She also looks like she's pushing 50, she could be the mother of most of the other cast.  

[breezy424]

God, what a snooze.

I like Ashley the best because she's the only one I can remember who she is.  It's 'that' bad.

Yeah, the clutter....  Whoa.

Wait.  Which one is Happy?

It's so bad that I enjoyed Ashley upsetting the other brunette about the strip golf.  That's the one from Atlanta?

This show is sooo bad.  I don't know if I can do another episode.  Wow.  You're thirty something and finally moved out.  Oh, you started a sock company?  Oh, you work for a trucking company?  Hey, if you had a sense on humor I could get on board.  See Sweet Home Oklahoma. 

[gingerella]

I didn't last 10 minutes with this shite. I don't give a shit about these idiots. It's bad enough that Southern Charm Original Recipe is fucked up the ads with bad scripting BS, but this? This is not what I tune into BravHo for. This is sucks ass. I'm out. 

[bichonblitz]

12 hours ago, breezy424 said:

Wait.  Which one is Happy?

Happy is the one that is marrying the muslim guy which apparently is a big deal in proper southern Savannah.  She also looks exactly like Hannah, the other non-descript brunette. 

Edited May 17, 2017 by bichonblitz

[JenE4]

55 minutes ago, bichonblitz said:

Happy is the one that is marrying the muslim guy which apparently is a big deal in proper southern Savannah.  She also looks exactly like Hannah, the other non-descript brunette. 

Yeah, it took me to the end of the episode to figure out that they were two different people--when the one was confronting her sock guy husband about the strip golf and I realized it was a different husband than the Muslim guy. If I had to identify one or the other in a line-up, well, the wrong gal might be going to prison. I think I'll only ever be able to tell them apart if they continue to reference socks or Islam respectively in all future conversations.

[Eater of Worlds]

23 hours ago, Sun-Bun said:

Something else that seriously bothers me about this show: I cannot handle actually hearing producers chiming in and asking questions/chatting with reality show participants during their talking heads. Unless this is "Big Brother", it just seems completely out of place.

It just makes me think either the people are too boring to move these conversations along without someone provoking/prodding them, or the producers are so hammy themselves that they just want to hear themselves speaking on camera.

Ever noticed how the successful reality shows don't use this tactic? Only the shitty ones. And definitely not the original SC.

Eh, RuPaul's Drag Race does it and that's a successful show.  They usually use it to point out something laughably stupid that was said but they do it better than this show does. It tends to add to Drag Race whereas on this show it just brings home how poor the show is and how vapid the people are.

14 hours ago, bichonblitz said:

Ashley has the worst wardrobe on this show. Or any show. Who the hell still wears hi-top sneakers with dresses? That style has been gone for years. And that black short jumpsuit thingy that was cut up to her crotch with her saggy boobs hanging out at the prim and proper southern shower.  Ugh! Isn't she supposed to be a fashion designer? She also looks like she's pushing 50, she could be the mother of most of the other cast.  

I hate the flip flops with 2 inch soles.  Not only do those look dated, I never found shoes like that comfortable because the sole is too thick to be flexible so it's like walking on a wood plank.  They actually remind me of Japanese sandals called geta, and specifically okobo.

 

Geta:

 

Okobo:

 

Even though those things she wore were more like zori, it never makes me think of them, probably because they are twice as thick as the zori I have seen.  Zori are the precursors to flip flops (I miss calling them thongs, the underwear was named that based on the footwear) and the traditional ones are not flexible, but I'll always think geta when I see someone clomping around with 2" high flip flops.  Her shoes to the shower were not any better.  I wear shoes with espadrille style heels to get height with the comfort of a lower heel, but her shoes were godawful clomping (I like that word, it's a nice use of onomatopeia) messes.

 

Modern Zori:

 

And now people know more about Japanese shoes than they knew they wanted to know.

[savannah31401]

Ashley saying that Savannah is an evangelical Christian town is quite inaccurate. It is actually a very Catholic town and "blue". Savannah is full of art students from all over the world. I hate they are trying to portray it as so close minded.

If Ashley played golf in college wouldn't she had been on the golf team at Country Day? You would think the guys knew she had golf skills. Plus, what freaking course were they on that no one noticed her stripping down anf security wasn't called?

Also, Catherine does not live in an "alley" as her dad stated. Savannah has a lot of lanes named after the larger street North of it, such as Bob St and then the carriage houses face out to Bob Ln.  Many of the carriage houses are very nice and great single living. Side note-she lives 5 doors down and in the lane from me! You can see our car for a split second-all praise the now famous Prius.

[Negritude]

On ‎5‎/‎16‎/‎2017 at 0:01 PM, Dmc306 said:

These people are boring! Hey! Did you guys know Savannah is full of southerners? Southerner this and that, honey I realize this is reality tv, but I think we know this a southern show.. I have a feeling if we turned that word into a drinking game on this show, we'd be wasted and it might be a little more enjoyable...

The Charleston bunch did this a lot in their first season (and Landon still does) and it wore thin until good ol' Katherine started acting a damn fool and the show finally got going. I'm not holding out the same hope here and I'll probably just pop my head in here to this forum to see if there's anything worth watching.

The concept of casting people who went to school together could've been interesting if they played up that angle more like, former nerd turned hottie or one of them used to bully the other or something...maybe?

[Petunia13]

That actually would be a good reality show storyline line. The nerdy dweeb ends up being the boss of the biggest bully of the high school and makes their life hell. And the high school sweethearts on rocks and girl bff who always secretly crushed on him makes a move. Maybe the class rich bitch now struggling so puts on airs and pretense but it's flimsy and exposed in teensy ways each week. 

@savannah31401 I think I read that the town was heavily Catholic. 

[snarts]

I tried, I gave it two whole episodes, but it reminds me of Laguna Beach: Newport Harbor (you know, the one nobody remembers)  Terrible casting, one & done.  

[eurekagirl mOo]

All I know is if my home was being filmed I'd clean it the hell up. Even if I had to stick shit in closets and under beds, I mean Come ON! And Lady? Keep your dam clothes on. Your looking a fool. Bless you're heart.

[Dmc306]

On 5/18/2017 at 4:13 PM, Negritude said:

The Charleston bunch did this a lot in their first season (and Landon still does) and it wore thin until good ol' Katherine started acting a damn fool and the show finally got going. I'm not holding out the same hope here and I'll probably just pop my head in here to this forum to see if there's anything worth watching.

The concept of casting people who went to school together could've been interesting if they played up that angle more like, former nerd turned hottie or one of them used to bully the other or something...maybe?

I agree, if you're going to focused on the school connection why not make it an interesting connection.. Plus, it seems like they only refer to their elementary classmates, which is weird to me. Plus these people are in their 30s, are you telling me your life has been that boring that you still need to talk about grade school? Something interesting had to happened in high school, and they really need to introduce an interesting interloper (a la a Katherine to stir some crap up, although I'm thinking the Mr Ripley guy is supposed to be our Katherine for this show?) I don't know anything other than Mrs Let's Take our clothes off all the time although I'm a sad married woman...

[biakbiak]

55 minutes ago, Dmc306 said:

Plus these people are in their 30s, are you telling me your life has been that boring that you still need to talk about grade school? Something interesting had to happened in high school

It's not grade school/elementary school. Savannah Country Day is K through 12th grade so they are talking about high school which they have referenced in talking about drinking and smoking and everyone knowing everyone's business because they have known each other so long. 

[Dmc306]

6 hours ago, biakbiak said:

It's not grade school/elementary school. Savannah Country Day is K through 12th grade so they are talking about high school which they have referenced in talking about drinking and smoking and everyone knowing everyone's business because they have known each other so long. 

Ah! I could've sworn some of the things they were mentioning at one point was from before high school though. I just hope something interesting happens with this group soon.