S04.E30: Vital Signs

[Primetimer]

Brenda takes 500 curtain calls, and Kelly and Dylan get ever closer to calling a time of death on their relationship.

View the full article

[Primetimer]

But at least, even if only in Andrea's dreams, it wears a whole garment, DONNA.

View the full article

[AndySmith]

Oh Peggy. Bless her and her DGAF attitude towards Brandon.

Quote

then yelling at the person he thinks has wronged him, regardless of that person's stature relative to his

Seriously, how is it no adult has called him out for his braying? How is it nobody ever has called him out for that?

Quote

Team Kelly's Gum

Yeah that was nice but David's blazer in that scene...oh God that is painful to look at.

Quote

if he had to go for Ian Ziering and Shannen Doherty to have this nice last scene together

Given how much Ian apparently disliked Shannen at that point...good for them for making the scene work as well as they did.

Edited August 22, 2016 by AndySmith

[TeeVee329]

Wow, I totally didn't remember that the show had already started setting up for Valerie here.

TOM!!!

[Halo]

2 hours ago, PreviouslyTV said:

But at least, even if only in Andrea's dreams, it wears a whole garment, DONNA.

View the full article

Sigh. I hate to defend/identify with Donna, but I owned a shameful number of cropped tops throughout the 80s and early 90s.

[Lisin]

9 minutes ago, Halo said:

Sigh. I hate to defend/identify with Donna, but I owned a shameful number of cropped tops throughout the 80s and early 90s.

Same. I'm not proud but it was a style I definitely leaned into. 

[SoupThrower]

Things I don't get in this episode.

 

1. How did they get in in the first place? Does that mean that Dylan keeps his door locked, or they have a key or Suzanne knows how to open locks.

2. What's with the cups that are cones? I have never ever seen that before.

3. Why is Erica even on TeamBrenda when she hasn't really interacted with Brenda except for the god damn evil Casio keyboard. It was out of the blue.

Yay Ariel and Yay Tom!

Why is Erica a thing? She's like 5 years old in a 13 year old body.

I do like that Shannen and Ian scene. I remember the next episode she and Brian were pretty touchy in the hospital. 

Also found it amusing that the happiest we see Kelly in the episode is when she was talking to Brandon. All the happiness she gets is by talking to Brandon? Weird.

Go back to the piano, David. 

[SoupThrower]

41 minutes ago, TeeVee329 said:

Wow, I totally didn't remember that the show had already started setting up for Valerie here.

TOM!!!

I wonder if they were still casting at that point or decided on Tiffani.

[Guest]

Quote

Brandon: simply the worst.

This is not musically sound but it is what Tina Turner would sing to Brandon.  Probably.

I call you when I need you
When my heart's on fire
You come to bray, come to bray
Wild and wired

You come to me,
Give me nothing I need
Give me a lifetime of lectures
And a world of fury
Speak the language of enmity
Like you don't know what it means

It's all wrong
Take my knife and make it sharp, baby

You're simply the worst
Worse than all the rest
Worse than anyone
Anyone I've ever met
I'm stuck in your life
I hate every word you say
Keep us together
Baby, I would rather be dead

[Bpb1980]

Also, not being around cats when you are pregnant is not an "old wives tale" as Jesse would suggest. The CDC warns women not to be around cats' litter boxes because they can contract toxoplasmosis--a severe infection that can lead to the loss of a baby.

So, yeah--bad advice Jesse.

[profreader]

[profreader]

Also: the shot of Ohhndrea in her PJ's ... I mean ... oh dear. Also also: this new band? Worse than Jazz. Lite Jazz, even.

[StatMom]

Here's what I don't get about how they are shooting the S.S. Ohhhhhndrea. They keep reinforcing that she is not as far along as Gabrielle (29 weeks?), yet they continue to show her at these angles that only emphasize and even magnify her girth. Whhhy? If they hadn't written themselves into a corner, timeline-wise, they could have at least said that she was overdue or something. But they did, and now they are just hanging a lampshade on it, when it's just dumb. And why do I give this way more thought than the writers ever did?

[FozzyBear]

I have to slightly disagree with our intrepid podcasters, I CAN NOT EVEN WITH KELLY'S PRISS FACE ALL THE TIME! Dylan sucks and you hate him and you screwed over your best friend to get him and so you hate yourself too so shuuuuuuuuuuuut uuuuuuuuuuup. And she will be in solid priss face mode about everything for the next thousand seasons because she hates her life but won't do anything about it. Fuck she's exhausting. She's somehow the most exhausting person on the show for me. Maybe it's because I know the New Evolution is coming.

 

PS I also have to say Arizona would actually be a logical place for the lab because Kevin's (scam) basically working on an idea to clean and reuse water which southwestern states would be all over.  He still sucks though.

Bring on Valarie!

Edited August 22, 2016 by FozzyBear

[kell710]

As someone from Buffalo, back then and now I still don't get the "uptown or downtown?" comment. Is something going over my head here?

Also, I did like scene as well of Steve and Brenda with him finally showing up to see her. If Ian and Shannen hated each other, they both did a great job being playful and looking like they had genuine affection for each other.

[marny]

Now now, it's just the extra amniotic fluid.

[marny]

32 minutes ago, kell710 said:

As someone from Buffalo, back then and now I still don't get the "uptown or downtown?" comment. Is something going over my head here?

 

It was pointing out that being "from New York" meant NYC, not New York State.  The guy was making fun of Jim for not realizing which New York he was talking about.

[StatMom]

1 hour ago, marny said:

Now now, it's just the extra amniotic fluid.

Of course! 60 pounds of amniotic fluid.

[FozzyBear]

1 hour ago, marny said:

It was pointing out that being "from New York" meant NYC, not New York State.  The guy was making fun of Jim for not realizing which New York he was talking about.

Yeah, I think it was more of a "Buffalo isn't what I meant when I said New York and any idiot knows that." As someone from the unglamorous part of California, I'm on Eddie's side here. If people ask I say the San Joaquin Valley, or Central California, or Fresno if I think there is a shot in hell of them knowing where that is. If I just say California people will assume I live at the beach so why play coy? I just tell them where I'm from instead of being the asshole who tries to make it sound like I grew up in LA when I really grew up in the West Coast version of Omaha. 

[kell710]

3 hours ago, marny said:

It was pointing out that being "from New York" meant NYC, not New York State.  The guy was making fun of Jim for not realizing which New York he was talking about.

Wow, what a Donna moment for me, thanks for the clarification. I do agree with Eddie now that I know. I would never tell someone who is from New York that I am too and not think they would assume the city. I always just say Buffalo. 

[scarynikki12]

Dylan is a total asshole but he was right when he told Kelly that she hates anyone and anything that takes his attention away from her.  That's how she was from the start of their relationship, it's the reason they break up, and it continues after they've broken up and each is with someone else.  And it's not limited to Dylan either as she pulls this with Brandon and various other love interests as well.  At the same time, Dylan is being a total douche so him being right loses some of it's power.

[Petunia13]

They could have accounted for her being larger than average by making Ohhhhndrea's preggo with twins or something. 

It would have been better to transfer her to yale or an abroad program and shoot her from the waist up or behind props sparingly and added in that the character was miserable and got fat...then later after GC maternity leave she could transfer back to CU. 

Edited August 23, 2016 by Petunia13

[Stowaway]

There should be a previously.tv theme week built entirely around this.

[Princess Sparkle]

That picture in the visual aids of Brandon in the black shirt and jeans makes him look like he's about to start singing a very angry song about revenge in a musical.

Also, speaking of mush mouthes, I had to keep replaying Dylan yelling at Kelly, because it really sounded to me like he was saying "Why don't you keep grinding that ass" instead of "why don't you keep grinding that ax."

[benteen]

I had forgotten how small Jason Priestly is until we get these full-body shot of him.  Good lord, he's a small man.

[Flamingo]

I don't understand why Kelly wants to go to the brunch. She hates Dylan, she hates the scamily, it's not her money, she doesn't approve of Dylan investing in this venture; and, it is at the Walsh house where they run the risk of Dylan being distracted by Brenda. Why go?

[Uncle JUICE]

Am I the only one who thinks EPISODE THIRTY?????????????????? What the fuck, I feel like this had to be against union rules. They worked the asses off these people. 

Edited August 23, 2016 by Uncle JUICE

[thelonelypalette]

Thank you guys so much. The Dearth of Penis should - nay, must - go on my next business cards.

Also, I was at an impressionable-enough age during the original airing of these episodes that I actually believed all the "tell, don't show" of Brenda's acting made complete sense. It's so delightful HOW MUCH ENERGY THEY PUT INTO IT. The compliments! She's outstanding! A fine actress! YOU GUYS SHE'S SO BAD. But so, so pretty.

Ah well. Serves me right for still attempting her bangs like 20 years later.

[thelonelypalette]

  23 hours ago, profreader said:

There should be a previously.tv theme week built entirely around this.

indeed there should!

[Qoass]

Quote

  Good lord, he's a small man.

And yet, the art I immediately thought of was the stone heads of Easter Island.,..

[Qoass]

Actually, back in the day, television series pretty much ran fresh episodes from September through May with a couple of preemptions for Captain and Tennille Christmas specials and very few repeats.  They were also longer because commercial breaks were shorter and less frequent. 

Oh, how I wish the Chancellor's executive assistant had kicked Brandon in the balls when he strong-armed his way into the office.  As it is, she could have had him charged with assault.

[Klaw]

As much as I despise the Task Force storyline (and believe me, I do), nothing compares to how much I hate, hate, hate, hate the Andrea's baby story. So bad  .. and so BORING. Good Lord, why, Gaby, Why???? And that stupid soundstage "forest" - which looked exactly like the "forest" used in S1 Melrose Place when Sandy, the aspiring actress, had to show her tits in a b-horror movie. Gah that goes down as one of the worst 90210 storylines, ever, and that's saying something! Especially when you get to the later seasons. I had to snicker at the "this isn't 30something" snark - seriously - who thinks teenagers and young adults give a shit about pregnancy complications and preemies... WTF, writers?

I think that was Jennie Garth, not Kelly, snapping her gum and looking like a right bitch in the audience. At that point, she could barely hide her hatred of ShanDo and she was not a good enough actress to cover it up. And I'm not saying that ShanDO probably didn't deserve the disdain, but c'mon, Jennie, be a professional. 

And yea, I can't believe I never noticed it before, but why is Erica so ... delayed???? It's truly frightening. And I know people weren't as up on the "bad touching" warnings but the way Susan lets her daughter hang out with strange men (and let's face it, her maybe/maybe not "half brother" who is 19 years old is a strange man to her). It's just. weird. 

And I always thought Kevin looked liked that dude from the Simpsons, Ned Flanders.

[Lisin]

Not to mention the fact that a ton of the pregnancy "facts" were just wrong!! Preemies don't necessarily end up being small when they grow up. I have a friend who was really premature and he's 6 foot 5 now... so shut up Jesse and Brandon! ALSO Brandon! You're a twin! I bet you were a preemie (maybe not this much of one but still!) but it was genetics that made you a teeny man. Not birth size! 

[Tara Ariano]

3 hours ago, Uncle JUICE said:

Am I the only one who thinks EPISODE THIRTY?????????????????? What the fuck, I feel like this had to be against union rules. They worked the asses off these people. 

You're not the only one, and if you can even believe it, they KEPT doing 32 episodes per season until like Season 9.

[cmfran]

That snippet of music David and the guys were "jamming" on was one of the most unpleasant, atonal things I've ever heard. That was supposed to be good?

[WhosThatGirl]

Episode 30. It's like the never ending seasons of teen mom.

Anyways Kelly's faces are hilarious. JG  just seems over it all. Also did the wardrobe department not care that the sunglasses were too small for Luke's head? Maybe they were all over it too, and were like screw it, because line our podcasters point out it looks ridiculous.

At least Dylan was a throughtful gift giver to Brenda. Yes he really should be dating her not Kelly. Has he ever bought Kelly a gift like that? 

[MissEwa]

Honestly there were so many terrible things in these visual aids but by far the worst for me was David's haircut. It's like Brandon's toilet-brush thing from the start of the season but worse, somehow, because you know he's touching up that shaved bit every other day. 

Writing a pregnancy into the show was always going to be iffy but it could have worked and been done in a semi-realistic, interesting way. Just... not with the visibly oldest, mumsiest cast member. And the premmie thing, given her size, was just dumb. I'm sure Carteris was lovely, but the producers listening to a 30-something playing a teenager asking them to write her pregnancy into the show? I can just see her telling them it would be so interesting and good for young girls to see blah blah blah, but no. They should have written her out for a season.  

[Flamingo]

Episode 30. It's like the never ending seasons of teen mom.

Anyways Kelly's faces are hilarious. JG  just seems over it all. Also did the wardrobe department not care that the sunglasses were too small for Luke's head? Maybe they were all over it too, and were like screw it, because line our podcasters point out it looks ridiculous.

At least Dylan was a throughtful gift giver to Brenda. Yes he really should be dating her not Kelly. Has he ever bought Kelly a gift like that? 

I'm wondering what kind of gift Dylan could give Kelly. Other than a brief interest in Lucinda's BS, she has no interests. I'm not saying that's why Dylan hasn't given her a thoughtful gift like he gave Brenda. I'm just trying to think of Kelly's interests.

[Uncle JUICE]

That's a great point! No wonder starting next year she gets into all kinds of shit. I really, really can't wait until the cult led by Agent Gaad (sp). Or that time she gets gutshot in a drive by. That sounds bad. Or her awesome coke habit with that shitty artist. Although I think that''s season 4 episodes 49 - 53. 

[AndySmith]

The cult is season 5, the coke habit is season 6, the drive by...I don't remember.

[dmc]

I hated roy randall

[TimeyWimey52]

Ok, seriously we can establish that Carteris/Ohndrea is wearing a giant square pillow because she had already given birth at some point before these episodes, right? That CANNOT be real! She's soooo big!

[WhosThatGirl]

I for one, can't wait for Kelly's "I choose me!" moment. Although, let it be noted, DJ Tanner  of Full House also pulled this line and she did it first.

[CurlyATX]

5 hours ago, Flamingo said:

I'm wondering what kind of gift Dylan could give Kelly. Other than a brief interest in Lucinda's BS, she has no interests. I'm not saying that's why Dylan hasn't given her a thoughtful gift like he gave Brenda. I'm just trying to think of Kelly's interests.

Kelly is extremely self-conscious about her intelligence.  I think anything that made her look/feel that the person admired her intellect would go far.  Maybe a bound set of "abnormal psychology"?

I know they try to paint Dylan/Kelly as soul mates, but even during his utter lust of Kelly, Dylan always had a deep emotional connection with Brinda.  I was remembering how he took her to watch that classic music (when Imily Valentine was burning down the float).  Just think of how much they'd have LOVED Paris together.  It's too bad he never went and visited her during the SOD.

[CurlyATX]

The way Jesse talks about a preemie is like he's comparing the baby to a runt in a litter.  Seriously, birth weight doesn't matter at all! I'm about the size of a 5th grader, but was a normal birth weight. 

As for Erica's "acting", I blame this on the current kid-school of acting at the time.  This was before the Disney-TV craze right? (the shows I refuse to let my kids watch because every adult is a moron and kids are so snarky and disrespectful).  I'm guessing this was still in the stage where all kids were precious well beyond the "little kid" stage.  Until they became a heart throb, they acted like 5 year olds.  Friday night ABC lineup was big then, right? Full House, Family Matters, etc.  Until the kid fully was a "teen" and had teen issues (dates, parties, etc), they were infantilized. I'm surprised they had Erica get her period, as that or getting a bra normally is what magically morphs the character (like in Who's the Boss)

[Uncle JUICE]

5 minutes ago, CurlyATX said:

  This was before the Disney-TV craze right? (the shows I refuse to let my kids watch because every adult is a moron and kids are so snarky and disrespectful).  I'm guessing this was still in the stage where all kids were precious well beyond the "little kid" stage.  

Fuckin' PREACH. I have to tell my kid (daughter really) that those shows are the absolute worst for this very reason. 

[Tooch]

2 hours ago, WhosThatGirl said:

I for one, can't wait for Kelly's "I choose me!" moment. Although, let it be noted, DJ Tanner  of Full House also pulled this line and she did it first.

Why don't I remember this!? Was it when she broke up with Steve/Aladdin? 

1 hour ago, CurlyATX said:

Just think of how much they'd have LOVED Paris together.  It's too bad he never went and visited her during the SOD.

This is a good point - I always loved that they had Dylan living with Brenda in London off-screen after he leaves the show, and how Kelly was so torn up about it. I was like "HAAAAAAA biiiitch." Man, I just hated her throughout.

One thing I noticed was Sarah and Tara questioning the "I know how that song goes" "You should you taught it to me" exchange - I think he was referring to her dumping him in his hideous new Porsche early on when she was all about John Sears. Funny he turned around and dumped her in the car too. By the way, what happened to his classic Porsche not being an "everyday" car and needing something he could drive around in? That stupid classic Porsche even gets unearthed when he comes back to the show miraculously cured of his alcoholism, which no one even questions even after five straight seasons of "Dylan's an alkaholic!" dramz.

[Lisin]

2 hours ago, WhosThatGirl said:

I for one, can't wait for Kelly's "I choose me!" moment. 

Only 30 more episodes!!! 

[WhosThatGirl]

When Dj chose herself it was when she was dating Viper and Nelson.

[Nanna]

Another Kelly hater here. I had forgotten that she was actually kind of cool in the first seasons. I mostly remembered saint Kelly, dressed in boring, dowdy, unflattering outfits. She's not great in this episode either, but I actually likeher when she starts dating Brandon - they are actually written as if they're in love, not like her relationship (tempted to put that in quotationmarks) with Dylan.