S04.E04: Honeymoons, Part 1

[Jellybeans]

Tbat is quite a leap to make.

[Momof3]

1 minute ago, Jellybeans said:

Tbat is quite a leap to make.

What's the leap? That the producers edit the footage to make it as dramatic as they can? 

[Passthepopcorn]

On 8/16/2016 at 10:00 PM, ExplainItAgain said:

 

Derek had a good point that they walked away and cooled off and when he came back she was saying the same things as before. But he ruined his argument by calling her an alcoholic. I would never date a smoker but Heather is so judgmental. I would also never consider someone who smokes to be lacking in morals or less classy than me.

Derek can probably quit smoking easier than Heather can remove that stick up her ass.

Yes, right? Why not ask. She didn't even give him the chance. She could have said it differently. For example: "I'm sorry to say this, but I didn't know the smoking was going to affect me so much and become such a turn off. I really can't take it. Have you ever considered quitting?" No, she just cataloged him below her and closed the door entirely. I know at least 2 couples in which one of them quit smoking forever by the request of the other.

[Jellybeans]

I don't see what you are seeing.  I do think producers edit things to make things more dramatic.  

Not seeing illegal drugs on camera and drug trafficking.  At. All.

I see lots of booze! Not by just Heather either.

[Momof3]

5 minutes ago, Jellybeans said:

I don't see what you are seeing.  I do think producers edit things to make things more dramatic.  

Not seeing illegal drugs on camera and drug trafficking.  At. All.

I see lots of booze! Not by just Heather either.

If he's smoking pot-it's illegal-hence illegal drug use. Previous posters have wondered if he took the weed they think he has on a plane-which I called trafficking. Although, now that I think about it-just taking it on a plane wouldn't necessarily be trafficking. So you think it's a leap to assume that just bc he's smoking means he's smoking pot? 

[Passthepopcorn]

Nick and Sonia: I love, love, love their approach. Taking it slowly (even on his part-How refreshing!). Build the relationship, build the friendship, find the chemistry, fall in love... I hope! She overthinks things, he calms her down elbowing her and saying "are you crazy?" with a smile and she smiles back. They give each other space. I like.

Lili and Tom: They get along great, very comfortable and happy with each other. I know there are many couples that have stayed together forever and started fast and furious like them. But sometimes I fear this is almost like teenage love (we are soulmates!) and then, reality. We'll see...

Heather and Derek: That bike ride was so hard to watch. He had no clue and went all optimistic, vacation mode, ready to have a great time and be together. She was miles away from him, loathing every second.

[Momof3]

I don't think it's a leap to assume I'm obsessed with whether he's smoking weed or not. I NEED to know. :) Seriously, Im dying to know. 

Edited August 19, 2016 by Momof3

[Passthepopcorn]

Ok. I've liked Derek so far. Great attitude, seems ready and happy to be committed, willing to share and well spoken, lots to give. But...

By occasional smoker I think:

1 cigarettes, not weed and

2- you smoke rarely, like in a party, every 2/3 months. You don't really need it.

She said he woke up to smoke first thing and daily. That changes things. If it is actually weed, that changes things a lot. You just met and you are smoking weed every day? That shows "I don't care" to me. In that case I understand her reaction. I don't want to judge either one at this point. We don't really know what is going on. Do we?

Edited August 19, 2016 by Passthepopcorn

[Evil Queen]

9 minutes ago, Passthepopcorn said:

Ok. I've liked Derek so far. Great attitude, seems ready and happy to be committed, willing to share and well spoken, lots to give. But...

By occasional smoker I think:

1 cigarettes, not weed and

2- you smoke rarely, like in a party, every 3/4 months. You don't really need it.

She said he woke up to smoke first thing and daily. That changes things. If it is actually weed, that changes things a lot. You just met and you are smoking weed every day? That shows "I don't care" to me. In that case I understand her reaction. I don't want to judge either one at this point. We don't really know what is going on. Do we?

This is the thing most skip over. He is waking up and first thing lighting up. I'm in the group thinking its weed. Which if he has to do that first thing in the morning that is not a good sign. Its a sign of someone with a problem. Which I don't blame her at all for how she is reacting. Did anyone thing maybe with the bike ride that he light up before going on it? She was seeing that he couldn't do a damn thing without being high. 

[ctbabe]

21 minutes ago, Evil Queen said:

This is the thing most skip over. He is waking up and first thing lighting up. I'm in the group thinking its weed. Which if he has to do that first thing in the morning that is not a good sign. Its a sign of someone with a problem. Which I don't blame her at all for how she is reacting. Did anyone thing maybe with the bike ride that he light up before going on it? She was seeing that he couldn't do a damn thing without being high. 

I totally understand your POV. I also feel for Heather. Derek did a very stupid thing. He shouldn't have smoked weed with his brand new wife. 

[Nowhere]

Any weed smoker I've ever known knows that you never take it with you on an airplane. By doing so, you're turning a possible misdemeanor (depending on your state) into a felony. I've never come across a pot smoker willing to take that chance. He didn't plug it up his ass for the plane ride, so where did he get it?

Any amount of marijuana in Puerto Rico is grounds for a felony charge with 3 years in prison. Any. Tiny. Amount. Even paraphernalia, including rolling papers, is a possible 3 year prison sentence. And the police are up ass about it and crawling the streets of the tourist areas, I've heard. I don't think it's quite as easy to get as everyone on this thread is making it out to be. This is Puerto Rico. Not Jamaica.

I just can't see how or why Derek would take the chance when he is being filmed much of the time and he has a new wife he's trying to impress. And she's a flight attendant at that. Being a pot smoker is still a little bit taboo. I've never heard anyone open with it when meeting someone that most likely is not a smoker. I just don't get why he'd come out with something like that right away. It makes no sense.

Has anybody thought that maybe the show is being purposely vague? If Derek is going out smoking weed all the time in a place that is absolutely not tolerant at all, why is the show allowing it? They would have caught him at some point if he's doing it as much as Heather is letting on. And then, wouldn't the producers be somewhat liable? Maybe this is the editing monkeys wanting us to talk. So much drama! The question of the season! What is Derek smoking!?

Edited August 22, 2016 by Nowhere
Clarity. I don't think Derek put a baggy of marijuana up his butt for the trip.

[ctbabe]

3 minutes ago, Nowhere said:

Any weed smoker I've ever known knows that you never take it with you on an airplane. By doing so, you're turning a possible misdemeanor (depending on your state) into a felony. I've never come across a pot smoker willing to take that chance. So if he didn't plug it up his ass for the plane ride, then where did he get it?

Any amount of marijuana in Puerto Rico is grounds for a felony charge with 3 years in prison. Any. Tiny. Amount. Even paraphernalia, including rolling papers, is a possible 3 year prison sentence. And the police are up ass about it and crawling the streets of the tourist areas, I've heard. I don't think it's quite as easy to get as everyone on this thread is making it out to be. This is Puerto Rico. Not Jamaica.

I just can't see how or why Derek would take the chance when he is being filmed much of the time and he has a new wife he's trying to impress. And she's a flight attendant at that. Being a pot smoker is still a little bit taboo. I've never heard anyone open with it when meeting someone that most likely is not a smoker. I just don't get why he'd come out with something like that right away. It makes no sense.

Has anybody thought that maybe the show is being purposely vague? If Derek is going out smoking weed all the time in a place that is absolutely not tolerant at all, why is the show allowing it? They would have caught him at some point if he's doing it as much as Heather is letting on. And then, wouldn't the producers be somewhat liable? Maybe this is the editing monkeys wanting us to talk. So much drama! The question of the season! What is Derek smoking!?

I am also curious. Why would the show/producers allow something illegal to happen? 

[Jellybeans]

Where did Derick and Heather go on their honeymoon? If it is Jamaica, weed is no big deal.  It isn't like going to Mexico. I googled.  Not saying I would.  Just saying what is going on there...

[Jellybeans]

Oh ok PR. Can't keep up. :-)

[StayingAfterSunday]

16 hours ago, Blissfool said:

I didn't notice that one, but I liked the one of Superman helping Batman do "The Superman." My siblings and I used to do that all the time when we were young.

After reading the comments, i realize i may be the only person in the world to appreciate Derek's tattoos for their humor.

But i don't appreciate his fondness of pot.....

There was a scene on the balcony where the editing was sooooo obvious that I'm surprised not everybody is jumping all over it on this site...

Heather said something along the lines of "I don't understand why you have to smoke all the time." The word smoke was edited in. I got the feeling she said "get high."

I can sympathize with Heather, as i have dated a pot smoker. Like Derek, a frequent phrase he used when we argued about it was "get off your high horse." (Unfortunately, the only thing high was him.)

Yes! Most people hide their real selves when in a new relationship. They put their best foot forward in order to impress the other person. When they become comfortable is when the cobwebs come out. (I'm not saying this is the right way to go about, but it's just human nature to not want to reveal your misgivings to a new love interest.)

Hmmmm...could it be that our Tom played it smart with this conversation? He got Lily to express her outrage at being called materialistic. NOW when she actually sees the bus she cannot act all aghast at the sight of it, hence she appear materialistic all over again. 

Very smart, Tom. Very smart, indeed.

With all the talk about getting high on weed:  Derek and Heather honeymooned in Puerto Rico. Is it that easy to score weed on the beach in PR?  And, if such an effort is not successful can we assume Derek had the balls to board a plane (with a flight attendant wife, no less) carrying weed in his baggage or on his person?  I mean, the weed theory first needs a foundation that includes answers to those questions first, I would think.  Unless, as someone else pointed out, he has a permit to carry medical marijuana, in which case something of this nature would have been included on his application, and Heather would never have become his match.

About Tom:   I am impressed (I think) with Tom's treatment of Lily and, presumably, women in general. For having been raised without a father beginning at the age of 13 he seems to display the behavior of a true gentleman (I won't hold the Lexus remark against him because, as Bliss points out in the above post, this could have been a calculated remark -- quite the opposite of something stated out of callous disregard for the other person).  I really, really like Tom and I hope it works for him and Lily.

Back to the Heather/Derek quandry again:  I felt relieved to hear Derek expose her for her alcoholic-like behavior. She asked for it.  From the looks of it, Heather is asking for nothing but battles.  JackSampson had posted in the Spoilers section something about Heather's deal breakers and her tendency to go for men who just happen to possess many of those very traits. Here's my conclusion about Heather:

The narratives want viewers to believe that Heather - and all of these people who end up on the show - are truly ready to get married. That after too many disappointing/failed relationships they are finally ready for someone who will be committed. Not just to love, per se, but to them. To marriage.  

Can we assume from such a description that the people selected are now at a stage where the stars in their eyes have dimmed a bit, and their dreamy anticipation for the storybook prince or princess has been replaced by the desire for a dependable, loyal person whom - if given the chance - may earn their love in time?  

If the MAFS participants want marriage, as we are led to believe (or as they seem to want to believe), they may have to shelve those idealistic notions they once had and make compromises, not just with a spouse but within themselves, as well.  Heather is one example of a person who thinks she wants marriage but she really wants marriage on her terms, which is to say she wants LOVE and the romantic dream she has probably harbored all of her life. Maturity and practicality go hand in hand. Once you grow up you realize the dream of "true love and rainbows, flowers and magic stardust" may not happen, and that if it really is MARRIAGE you want, you need to look for a good, solid person who can work with you, not against you. In the end marriage usually ends up very much like a partnership.  If heart-throbbing love comes with the deal, all the better, but sometimes love comes later, and it's a truer, finer type of love, one based on respect, positivity and compromise.  Heather seems stuck in a childlike pattern of anger and self sabbotage. For her sake I hope she grows up a bit and learns to look within herself before looking for a husband.

[Kiss my mutt]

Didn't Heather say he was smoking several times a day and not just first thing?  I guess he could be taking bumps throughout the day?  Or is that more likely with cigarettes?

[JapMo]

Quote

Once you grow up you realize the dream of "true love and rainbows, flowers and magic stardust" may not happen, and that if it really is MARRIAGE you want, you need to look for a good, solid person who can work with you, not against you. In the end marriage usually ends up very much like a partnership.  If heart-throbbing love comes with the deal, all the better, but sometimes love comes later, and it's a truer, finer type of love, one based on respect, positivity and compromise.  Heather seems stuck in a childlike pattern of anger and self sabbotage. For her sake I hope she grows up a bit and learns to look within herself before looking for a husband.

I would expect that from someone in their 50s...not people under 40.  Especially women.  All 3 women are under 35, and one is under 25!  I feel they all understood it was quite likely they wouldn't have strong feelings at first for their spouses, but that doesn't prevent them from secretly wanting love at first sight.   Nothing wrong with that.  I believe Heather was willing to give Derek a chance despite the fact she probably was disappointed there wasn't some spark to begin with.  But like we all know, we aren't seeing the whole picture...just what the show wants us to see. 

[Evil Queen]

2 hours ago, StayingAfterSunday said:

With all the talk about getting high on weed:  Derek and Heather honeymooned in Puerto Rico. Is it that easy to score weed on the beach in PR?  And, if such an effort is not successful can we assume Derek had the balls to board a plane (with a flight attendant wife, no less) carrying weed in his baggage or on his person?  I mean, the weed theory first needs a foundation that includes answers to those questions first, I would think.  Unless, as someone else pointed out, he has a permit to carry medical marijuana, in which case something of this nature would have been included on his application, and Heather would never have become his match.

 

They are in FL where its not legal in any way, shape or form. So he wouldn't even be able to use medical as an excuse for it. While he may or may not have gotten on the plane we have no clue. If not he sure found it somewhere fast in PR. Which I wouldn't be surprised if he asked who he gets it from in FL if they knew where he could there. It would be a way for someone to find it fast if his hook up on it could tell him or he just casually found the right person to ask in PR. But the dude has been high since day one of this show. BTW, since medical for it was brought up, let's say it was ok that way, the show still should not in its right mind cast someone like that no matter what. 

[Snewtsie]

7 hours ago, henrysmom said:

Me either.  Anybody want to take one for the team and rewatch? :)

Edited to add:

Okay, I went and rewatched...the things I do for this show.  

Ha! Thanks for taking one for the team! You're awesome. Derek should just pummel her with wine & chocolate, and I bet she would soften. Then I bet she wouldn't even notice him secretly gorging on Cheetos in the bathroom once he gets the munchies.

[humbleopinion]

Unless Derek grabs the wheel saves Heather from having a head on collision and she has a come to Jesus moment like Sam there will be no bringing down any walls, Pastor C.

Heather can hold the hand of a stranger(surfing teacher) because she feels nothing for him and it was a gentlemanly thing to do to help her through the waves.

Derek and Heather sit next to each other in the M@FS publicity photos and she is not crying.

We can conclude that they do eventually get along or photo shopping.

Edited August 20, 2016 by humbleopinion
grammer

[Snarklepuss]

7 hours ago, ctbabe said:

Summary: He really can't win. It's technically over.

Yes, that's true.  But why should she give him any further chances at all if she thinks he's living a lifestyle that's a deal breaker for her?  She may actually have good reason to think he's living a full blown lifestyle, not just engaging in one or two joints every now and then.  And I could see her being even more angry at him because his possession could have lost her her job and landed her in jail along with him.  Dude is being really irresponsible if he did that.  Does she really owe him any niceness or consideration if he put her at risk like that?  I don't think it's fair to assume he's this really nice guy if he really risked having all that happen to her due to his reckless, illegal behavior.   I also don't think it's fair to assume she's a bitch for coming down hard on him for it.  If he really did all that, IMHO he doesn't deserve any consideration from her but deserves all the anger he got from her. 

It's easy to see a woman get all angry at what appears to be a happy go lucky sweet guy and call her a bitch, but when I really look at what she's mad about and what she's saying his behavior was I just can't blame her for being nasty with him about it.  If what we're thinking is true then he doesn't deserve her being nice about it and concerned for him.  After all, he certainly wasn't concerned for her if he put her at risk like that.  She only just met this guy.  She's not in love with him, she doesn't even really know him.  So what reason does she have to be concerned about him and give him any further consideration?  Zero, if what we're assuming he did is true.

To those who are wondering where he got it, I don't know why but I wouldn't discount the camera crew as a source.  Although he could have snuck it on the plane, who knows?

[Lola16]

I think it's worse than weed.  I think Derek made Heather listen to his mad rap skillz. Word. #imhigherthanmyrentis

[Evil Queen]

35 minutes ago, Lola16 said:

I think it's worse than weed.  I think Derek made Heather listen to his mad rap skillz. Word. #imhigherthanmyrentis

That would make me run for the hills and beyond. LMAO

[qtpye]

Quote

Sonia.  A. After seeing her in a swimsuit - a flattering one - I stand by my earlier comment that she's chubby. 

Quote

I don't know if I'd call Sonia chubby.  Sometimes I think people have grown too used to seeing size 00 women with 38DD breasts, as normal.  So anything else is "chubby" and "overweight."  

I actually thought Sonia had a great va va voom type body in her wedding dress.  She is very curvy and it looks good on her.  However, those denim shorts would not flatter anyone.  They have the power to make one's rear look both big and flat...not a good combination.

[Jellybeans]

Weed is not a problem for tourists in Puerto Rico. Just googled.  I am still not sure it is weed.

Sonia looks great.  As far as her shorts go- I think it is great when a woman wears what she feels is comfortable instead of what makes her ass look great.  

[Neurochick]

On August 18, 2016 at 3:33 PM, kat12379 said:

I dont want to offend anyone but smoking weed recreationally as an adult gives off loser - ish vibes to me. I dont know much about military culture but I am surprised that an ex Navy like Derek would be a stoner - it doesnt really match up in my mind. 

I find this comment funny.  It reminds me of the movie "Reefer Madness" when people used to think that taking ONE drag of pot would make them insane FOREVER.  I don't smoke pot at all and would not date someone who does, but I don't look at them as a stoner or anything like that.  Then again, I don't smoke cigarettes either, but I used to and I remember one thing about it, you quit when you want to quit.  If someone quits because of you, they'll start smoking/drinking/whatever, because of you.

[Passthepopcorn]

On 8/17/2016 at 6:56 PM, Lola16 said:

Lol. What is that last one? A slice of pizza holding hands with Sponge Bob?

I think it is pizza and beer.

[Passthepopcorn]

On 8/17/2016 at 7:38 PM, Enero said:

 

Both Derrick and Heather are annoying. I'm especially turned off by his tattoos and squinty eyes. Their "fight" on the balcony was completely fake and staged. I mean what couple argues/ disagrees like that in real life? He says something. She quietly listens. She states her case. He quietly listens. Totally staged. 

Hmm I disagree. I think she was truly upset. I think she was upset that entire day. It was the last straw for her.

Then he gets upset because, even though he got offended and was also mad, he was ready to talk and make peace and she was stuck at the same place where they left, not budging.

And by the way, they are not a couple, not really.

[butterbody]

On 8/18/2016 at 0:39 PM, lordonia said:

"Luxury yacht designer" is an odd choice of occupation for someone who claims to despise materialism.

Of course, the guy's also been described as a "boat interior designer" and "yacht interior specialist" so who knows. My guess is that he installs cabinetry or something.

Like Kurt Russell in Overboard!

[Palomar]

The more I think about it, I really think it IS cigarettes and the editing is just trying to make it vague.  Who would be that stupid to bring pot on a plane and smoke it with cameras around potentially 24 hours especially with your new bride who you have NO idea what her opinions are about pot.  Plus people do tend to get very upset about smoking cigarettes.  Of course those people don't say it is OK to smoke occasionally and get upset when the person does (or think that someone has a gambling problem because they mention they like to gamble). 

[Jack Sampson]

5 hours ago, Palomar said:

The more I think about it, I really think it IS cigarettes and the editing is just trying to make it vague.  Who would be that stupid to bring pot on a plane and smoke it with cameras around potentially 24 hours especially with your new bride who you have NO idea what her opinions are about pot.  Plus people do tend to get very upset about smoking cigarettes.  Of course those people don't say it is OK to smoke occasionally and get upset when the person does (or think that someone has a gambling problem because they mention they like to gamble). 

An addict. 

Whatever it is, Derek is clearly more than an occasional smoker.  I've dumped a few girls just because of smoking so I don't blame Heather for not wanting to be a part of it.  But that makes her only as committed to her marriage as I was to a casual date. 

This is a dude she married - she needs to explain that it has to change and give him some time to turn it around.  Instead, she's using it as an excuse - a justification for her inevitable rejection.  And I get the feeling that, if it wasn't smoking, it would be a non-existent gambling problem or a non-existent messiness problem or whatever excuse she could come up with.  And if she couldn't come up with any obvious flaws, she'd pull an Ashley, and claim she's an introverted stewardess who takes a long time to warm up to people...unless that person is a surfing instructor.  I wouldn't be surprised if we uncover some ulterior motive for Heather being on the show...same as Ashley.

Edited August 21, 2016 by Jack Sampson

[red.]

On August 19, 2016 at 3:54 PM, Liberty said:

So wonder what their connection to MAFS is?

Last season in Atlanta, David/Stashley's landlord had a connection with poser Schwartz.

On 'the First Year' they gave Neph's t-shirt company a pretty good push. 

With as many logos as they blur, these guys are either paying or well connected to production.

(Surprised Jessica Castro wasn't cast in the company's promotional video)

It's Nick's business. That's like blurring out Titos on all of the vodka bottles in S2 since Jaclyn was on it. Almost all people go on reality TV to promote their image or product or business in some way. Nick is following suit. Not saying it's right or wrong, just is what it is. 

[Kiss my mutt]

Yacht club wear sounds right up Tom's alley. Maybe he can get in on the deal if it's not too "materialistic". 

[Nowhere]

On August 19, 2016 at 6:52 PM, Kiss my mutt said:

Didn't Heather say he was smoking several times a day and not just first thing?  I guess he could be taking bumps throughout the day?  Or is that more likely with cigarettes?

He could be smoking pot throughout the day but consider how he would do this. Marijuana smoke has a very distinctive smell so he would have to find an area where nobody would smell it several times a day in a country that doesn't tolerate it. The pot smokers I've known have gone to their parked cars if they were near a more public place, but even that is sort of rare because there's always a chance that a cop will come by and smell it. Heather and Derek don't have their own car. Where else would he go? It's more likely cigarettes that he's smoking since he wouldn't have to hide it.

On August 20, 2016 at 7:04 PM, Palomar said:

The more I think about it, I really think it IS cigarettes and the editing is just trying to make it vague.  Who would be that stupid to bring pot on a plane and smoke it with cameras around potentially 24 hours especially with your new bride who you have NO idea what her opinions are about pot.  Plus people do tend to get very upset about smoking cigarettes.  Of course those people don't say it is OK to smoke occasionally and get upset when the person does (or think that someone has a gambling problem because they mention they like to gamble). 

This is what I thought too. I have no problem with weed. I'm not a smoker myself but if Derek is a pot smoker I would have no problem with it. I just don't think it's as easy to get as some people seem to think on this forum. No, his home dealer wouldn't just randomly know a hookup in Puerto Rico. They don't know each other like that. There's no major drug kingpin like in Breaking Bad. So unless Derek knows the marijuana equivalent to Heisenburg, it's pretty unlikely that his dealer knows a guy in PR. 

Derek said he'd never been to PR before so I think he would have to risk picking a random person on the street that seems like a pot smoker and asking. That is way too risky in a place like PR where the cops are possibly undercover in tourist areas. Hell, cops stand outside during Mardi Gras with pot leaves on their shirts, asking people if they can get a joint just so they can bust them. It's such a risky thing to ask somebody on the street or even engage with somebody who approaches you. So I agree that it's probably editing trying to get us talking. Heather has a major stick up her ass about cigarettes because she doesn't like Derek. And plus he's smoking way too much and it's annoying. I don't like smokers so I get it.

23 hours ago, Jack Sampson said:

An addict. 

You said this in response to a question of why anyone would take pot on an airplane. Pot isn't like heroin or meth though. I took a long vacation with a wake and bake (more like a wake and buzz. Not everyone likes to get "baked")and there was no way in hell he would have taken pot on an airplane. He just simply didn't smoke for the 10 days we were on vacation. Pot isn't physically addictive. You don't get the shakes if you don't smoke. Now if we had gone to Jamaica, maybe he would have asked somebody with dreads lol, but as it was, he was content to enjoy the time with our group without a single toke.

All that being said, if Derek is somehow a weed genius and is smoking left handed, Heather has every freakin right to be pissed as hell because it's illegal. And if I were her, I'd peace out now before I got in trouble for his recklessness  and I sure as hell wouldn't talk about it on tv lest my job decides guilt by association. Since she hasn't immediately removed herself from the situation, I think she just doesn't like the amount of cigarettes he's smoking. And that is reason enough to be highly annoyed when your idea of occasional is more like social. I mean, she may be a bitch who checked out emotionally day one, but she's definitely smart enough to check out physically if illegal activity is putting her livelihood at risk. We should her some credit. She seems intelligent and she's no pushover.

Edited August 22, 2016 by Nowhere

[Evil Queen]

2 hours ago, red. said:

It's Nick's business. That's like blurring out Titos on all of the vodka bottles in S2 since Jaclyn was on it. Almost all people go on reality TV to promote their image or product or business in some way. Nick is following suit. Not saying it's right or wrong, just is what it is. 

Not just this show it seems to happen on either. One couple on Arranged seem to be there to just promote nothing but their businesses. It was disgusting. I couldn't stand it with Jacklyn doing it and the whole thing with Nick either comes off bad as well in that way. If its all we see on him or around him for most the show than we know its all he is thinking about too.

Sorry but I don't care what some say. If a person can't put down the joint or bong for a certain length of time that makes one an addict. It was said Derek is smoking first thing when he gets up. Its obvious he is high at other times as well. Its an issue IMO. He was obviously high at the wedding too. Sure dealers don't know each other but it doesn't mean one might not ask them how to get it or suggest to in another area. Or that he didn't figure it out on the way. I am seeing conflicting info on how it is in PR with weed. Some say its strict but others not so much. Since I have never been and don't desire to I have no clue how it is on this. Since its not something I would want to do either (hate the smell) I wouldn't even thing about it. Yet someone that does it might. As for the smell, I have known many that would smoke their pot and have a cigarette light as well to try to cover the smell some what. Sot it could be he is doing that as well. We have no idea on how he got it in or to PR but its just obvious he is high. Back to the addict thing, I don't think all people that smoke it are addicts just the ones that can't leave it for even a day. Its the same with anything really. I enjoy a drink here and there but don't need it every day or want it every day. Yet there are those that would do the same thing as Derek and wake up first thing needing that drink, drug of choice, pill, etc. 

[Nowhere]

@Evil Queen I'm just wondering why you think it's obvious that he has been high? I'm not saying he wasn't. I'm just wondering why you thought so bc I never thought about it until it was brought up here. Squinty eyes does not a pot smoker make.

Cigarette smoke doesn't cover the smell of pot. Pot smoke is thicker but it does disipate faster, so it could be that he's smoking a cig after coming out of his hiding place. But in that case, Heather would think he's smoking cigs because that nasty smell clings to clothes. Disgusting.

Pot smokers already know how to get pot. You have to know somebody or risk asking a stranger. That's it. Yes people do that and get away with it. But in Derek's particular case, I think it would be much tougher than average because of the time it would take away from cameras and wifey and the risk of being arrested on your televised honeymoon. Not a good look for a so called professional. 

I hate throwing around the word addict because it really seems like a physical addiction is what most people are talking about when they use that word, like having physical withdrawal. A lot of the time I call it just a bad habit or a psychological dependency of some sort. I'm curious to know what your particular definition is. 

Also not everyone who wakes up and does something is doing it out of need. I don't even think Derek NEEDS a cigarette in the morning, if that is indeed what he is smoking and if he is an "occasional" smoker like he claims. I like a cup of coffee in the morning. But I don't need it. Most of the time I don't even finish my cup. I guess this goes back to the addiction debate.

Again, under normal circumstances, Derek may smoke pot, but I just think in this particular situation it seems highly unlikely. I think the show would be held liable for whatever trouble he could get himself or Heather into. 

I wonder if we'll ever find out the truth of the matter. All of this is speculation after all.

[Liberty]

6 hours ago, red. said:

It's Nick's business. That's like blurring out Titos on all of the vodka bottles in S2 since Jaclyn was on it. Almost all people go on reality TV to promote their image or product or business in some way. Nick is following suit. Not saying it's right or wrong, just is what it is. 

Boooo.  Nick said he went on TV to find love, and now we find it is to sell his yacht club.  T-shirts must be the wealth building vehicles of millennials. 

Many of the Tito's bottles were covered or blurred.  Is it safe to assume Neph and Nick paid for the promotion, while Tito's did not?

Edited August 21, 2016 by Liberty

[Enero]

4 hours ago, Liberty said:

Boooo.  Nick said he went on TV to find love, and now we find it is to sell his yacht club.  T-shirts must be the wealth building vehicles of millennials. 

Many of the Tito's bottles were covered or blurred.  Is it safe to assume Neph and Nick paid for the promotion, while Tito's did not?

Isn't that's why anyone would go on this show? I don't think any of these people come on a reality show to find love. By this point they've all seen and know the failure rate of this experiment. Why would they think their experience would be any different? They all have personal agendas that have nothing to do with love i.e. promoting their businesses, launching an entertainment career etc.

10 hours ago, Jack Sampson said:

 

Whatever it is, Derek is clearly more than an occasional smoker.  I've dumped a few girls just because of smoking so I don't blame Heather for not wanting to be a part of it.  But that makes her only as committed to her marriage as I was to a casual date. 

 

What I find interesting about this whole smoking debate is that Heather gave Derek what I'm assuming was cigars as a wedding gift. They briefly talked about it right after the wedding and he told her he didn't smoke, but did want to light one up to celebrate. Perhaps he meant he didn't smoke cigars? At any rate, the producers are having a lot of fun, I'm sure, editing this narrative in a way that amps up the drama. I also noticed when watching the wedding episode that Heather seemed more agreeable to Derek. She laughed with him a lot. She talked with him without a blatant side eye on her face.  It seemed that things started to go awry when they got on the honeymoon and the smoking, messiness, etc. was revealed. 

Edited August 21, 2016 by Enero

[BunnySlippers]

2 hours ago, Enero said:

What I find interesting about this whole smoking debate is that Heather gave Derek what I'm assuming was cigars as a wedding gift. They briefly talked about it right after the wedding and he told her he didn't smoke, but did want to light one up to celebrate. Perhaps he meant he didn't smoke cigars? At any rate, the producers are having a lot of fun, I'm sure, editing this narrative in a way that amps up the drama. I also noticed when watching the wedding episode that Heather seemed more agreeable to Derek. She laughed with him a lot. She talked with him without a blatant side eye on her face.  It seemed that things started to go awry when they got on the honeymoon and the smoking, messiness, etc. was revealed. 

I don't understand why someone who doesn't smoke and doesn't want to be around someone who smokes a lot would give cigars as a wedding gift. I myself hate their smell, so I would not want to be around them at all. Didn't two of the brides give cigars as gifts? And at least one of them said it was for the father of the groom? Who was that? Maybe it was Lillian?

[HZAnita]

7 minutes ago, BunnySlippers said:

I don't understand why someone who doesn't smoke and doesn't want to be around someone who smokes a lot would give cigars as a wedding gift. I myself hate their smell, so I would not want to be around them at all. Didn't two of the brides give cigars as gifts? And at least one of them said it was for the father of the groom? Who was that? Maybe it was Lillian?

It was indeed Lillian.  And Derek asked Heather if she would smoke the cigars with him and she gave an emphatic "no" answer like she thought the idea was gross. I've smoked cigars as a joke with my male friends.  I feel like she could have given it a shot just for fun.

P.S. - I love the smell of cigars, probably because my father used to smoke them. :)

[Evil Queen]

Nowhere, No squinty eyes doesn't but he has been in a few scenes he is not at all squinty eyed either. Yet he has a look on his face that says it all. I've been around enough people to know that face to well. Many friends in high school would use it. That on in adult life I had a few that did as well. Heck I have a neighbor a couple doors over that does it and we can smell it. He has that same look on his face. While I know the cigarettes don't full over the smell of pot because of how that smell is but there are many that will smoke one to cover what they are doing. Yet I don't believe what is going on is at all about cigarettes. As others pointed out no one ever says that people say alcohol is worse than cigarettes...as Derek tried to argue. Yet some will say that when talking about weed. 

  I can imagine this show covers its butts in the contracts in many ways so they can't be held liable for most things that happen. I don't see how they could be liable though for someone that smokes pot. Unless a crew member gave it to him or got it for him but otherwise I don't see how they can be. They aren't showing it on tv. Heck even if they did that would be Derek's fault than for doing it in front of them. Yet I am sure once these people sign the contracts there is so much in there that the show is covered over anything and everything they can think of. 

[Empress1]

39 minutes ago, BunnySlippers said:

I don't understand why someone who doesn't smoke and doesn't want to be around someone who smokes a lot would give cigars as a wedding gift. I myself hate their smell, so I would not want to be around them at all. Didn't two of the brides give cigars as gifts? And at least one of them said it was for the father of the groom? Who was that? Maybe it was Lillian?

I don't get why you'd give cigars as a wedding gift when you don't know if your groom or his father smokes them. I don't think cigars are a generic gift, and since you're giving a gift to a stranger I feel like you'd need to go generic. I would give cigars as a gift to someone if I know s/he smokes them - like, I've seen them smoke them, they've mentioned it to me, etc. I wouldn't think to give them to someone otherwise.

11 minutes ago, Evil Queen said:

I can imagine this show covers its butts in the contracts in many ways so they can't be held liable for most things that happen. I don't see how they could be liable though for someone that smokes pot. Unless a crew member gave it to him or got it for him but otherwise I don't see how they can be. They aren't showing it on tv. Heck even if they did that would be Derek's fault than for doing it in front of them. Yet I am sure once these people sign the contracts there is so much in there that the show is covered over anything and everything they can think of. 

 Reality show contracts generally absolve the network and production company of everything. The contract that The Real World cast members sign is floating around the internet and because those cast members aren't employees of the production company, the production company takes no responsibility for them. Illegal shit went on on that show all the time. I very much doubt the show would be liable if Derek got busted - and I don't think they'd come to his aid either.

[butterbody]

Alright folks, I'm gonna have to chime in for all us losers. I live in a medical marijuana state, and am legally licensed to sell marijuana. Florida does have several legal dispensaries in operation as well.  (God bless America!)

While the majority of my clients are children with Epilepsy and the seniors from our local Cancer Center- they are huge advocates for medical marijuana and assist their patients in obtaining a card- I see several hundred marijuana users from all walks of life on a weekly basis. I'm also a very involved PTA mom who volunteers in reading circle every Thursday and  never misses a karate match. And I smoke lots and lots of weed. Medical grade, potent, natural weed and when I meet someone new, I just go ahead and do my thang because it's not a big deal. My husband doesn't care for it himself, but could care less that I do, because I am always happy, calm, and awesome. These comments are hurting my heart. I thought we'd evolved. Nobody bats an eyelash at "wine, wine, wine", Resort drinks aren't strong enough, and you know someone who smokes weed but wouldn't fly with it, therefore Derrick must have brought it in his ass? That's what I call a stretch. I fly a lot. I put it in my checked luggage without incident. 

I hope my post doesn't sound rude or defensive, it's just that we're beating this horse about something that has become pretry mainstream. It's not the devil's lettuce, y'all. If he uses it for anxiety, I'd assume this situation requires a little doubling up on the dose, so to speak. I've no doubt the camera dudes aren't filming him because they are joining him. 

[Neurochick]

16 hours ago, Jack Sampson said:

Whatever it is, Derek is clearly more than an occasional smoker.  I've dumped a few girls just because of smoking so I don't blame Heather for not wanting to be a part of it.  But that makes her only as committed to her marriage as I was to a casual date. 

This is a dude she married - she needs to explain that it has to change and give him some time to turn it around.  Instead, she's using it as an excuse - a justification for her inevitable rejection.  And I get the feeling that, if it wasn't smoking, it would be a non-existent gambling problem or a non-existent messiness problem or whatever excuse she could come up with. 

That is a good point.  If you casually date someone, it's easier to dump them because of whatever they did that got under your skin.  However, Heather and Derek are married.  It's fine if she's not okay with smoking, but she needs to tell him that she's not comfortable with it, and please, for the sake of their marriage, something has to be done.  

The experts said that they've started out at commitment.  I once heard marriage described as no matter what happens, no one is allowed to leave the room.  Is Heather taking this seriously?  Why not say, "Derek, your smoking really bothers me; I think you need to do something about it."  That way the ball is in HIS court.  What I heard was, "Derek, you're an addict, you gamble, you're messy and I'm checking out."

[Nowhere]

10 hours ago, butterbody said:

Alright folks, I'm gonna have to chime in for all us losers. I live in a medical marijuana state, and am legally licensed to sell marijuana. Florida does have several legal dispensaries in operation as well.  (God bless America!)

While the majority of my clients are children with Epilepsy and the seniors from our local Cancer Center- they are huge advocates for medical marijuana and assist their patients in obtaining a card- I see several hundred marijuana users from all walks of life on a weekly basis. I'm also a very involved PTA mom who volunteers in reading circle every Thursday and  never misses a karate match. And I smoke lots and lots of weed. Medical grade, potent, natural weed and when I meet someone new, I just go ahead and do my thang because it's not a big deal. My husband doesn't care for it himself, but could care less that I do, because I am always happy, calm, and awesome. These comments are hurting my heart. I thought we'd evolved. Nobody bats an eyelash at "wine, wine, wine", Resort drinks aren't strong enough, and you know someone who smokes weed but wouldn't fly with it, therefore Derrick must have brought it in his ass? That's what I call a stretch. I fly a lot. I put it in my checked luggage without incident. 

I hope my post doesn't sound rude or defensive, it's just that we're beating this horse about something that has become pretry mainstream. It's not the devil's lettuce, y'all. If he uses it for anxiety, I'd assume this situation requires a little doubling up on the dose, so to speak. I've no doubt the camera dudes aren't filming him because they are joining him. 

My boyfriend is like you. He smokes a lot of pot morning until night. It helps with his anxiety and I don't mind it a bit. I think a lot of people are under the impression that pot smokers can't function during the day or hold a job. Simply not true. You'd never know that my boyfriend smoked if you met him. Unfortunately, I can't smoke with him at night like I used to because if my job gives randoms and I test dirty, I can't work.

That brings me to my next point. Not all of us have the luxury of living in a legal state. I think Heather would have the right to be pissed in this instance even if she didn't mind an occasional pot smoker because they are being televised and he's not respecting the fact that it's still illegal.

They do search luggage at airports sometimes. My mom's luggage was chosen at random and her shit was disorganized and thrown everywhere. So unless he has a serious medical issue, I don't see him taking the chance of being detained by airport security for hours and possibly charged with a felony when he's just taking a few days of vacation. And I definitely don't think he's so desperate that he'd plug it up his ass. That's just ridiculous. I highly doubt he's scouring the streets of PR like some crack fiend either.

If Derek and even Heather smoke, more power to them. But I think he's just smoking cigs. Weed would be a discussion he would have with her privately out of respect for her just because it's still illegal. @butterbody What is your opinion on that as a smoker yourself? 

Or maybe it's like you said and the production crew took the chance and they're all chilling together off camera. 

With that I think I've beaten this dead horse more than he deserved and I feel we should go ahead and give him a proper burial.

Btw on behalf of cancer patients and those who have had to helplessly watch their loved ones suffer, I thank you for your work. Most people still don't know how much this plant can help so many in need. Florida didn't jump onboard in time to give relief to my dad so I for one will never stop lobbying. 

Edited August 22, 2016 by Nowhere

[holly4755]

How to find some pot - I thought if you walk around (at least in this illegal state) you see a pot smoker and ask where they got it.  If you are white the odds are low you will be busted,

[Adeejay]

On ‎8‎/‎17‎/‎2016 at 0:33 AM, lordonia said:

Jeeze, Nick. If the behavior we've seen is him feeling comfortable, I'd hate to know what he finds awkward. I don't blame Sonia for being upset after she told him she "really really" liked him and he refused to reciprocate. That's pretty cold and another instance of the attitude he displayed on their wedding day when he was unable to tell her she looked pretty. God forbid he say something nice to his wife's face.

I found Nick’s response to be honest and refreshing; Sonia is the one who seems to have issues.  She was upset that he didn't say she was beautiful at the ceremony and was worried that he did not find her attractive; she got upset again after he said that it was only Day 5 and that they should take it slow. Insecurity is not a good look on anyone and if she doesn't reign it in she is going to be by herself.  Nick's approach is certainly more realistic than Lillian telling Tom they are perfect for each other.  I don't believe Heather and Derek are going to make it to Decision Day.

[Waterlilly]

Miami has a huge Cuban and PR population, fine cigars are not an uncommon gift, pot is not that big of a deal to the police and it is believable to have a friend that has a friend or relative in PR you can get a little somethin somethin from. 

[nlkm9]

On 8/20/2016 at 2:14 AM, qtpye said:

I actually thought Sonia had a great va va voom type body in her wedding dress.  She is very curvy and it looks good on her.  However, those denim shorts would not flatter anyone.  They have the power to make one's rear look both big and flat...not a good combination.

I thought she is a big girl, but carries it extremely well. But still "chubby" as other poster said. not saying it in a mean way, just agreeing with the first poster. I think she is very attractive just hate the very brilliant lipstick.

3 hours ago, Nowhere said:

My boyfriend is like you. He smokes a lot of pot morning until night. It helps with his anxiety and I don't mind it a bit. I think a lot of people are under the impression that pot smokers can't function during the day or hold a job. Simply not true. You'd never know that my boyfriend smoked if you met him. Unfortunately, I can't smoke with him at night like I used to because my job gives randoms and if I test dirty, I can't work.

That brings me to my next point. Not all of us have the luxury of living in a legal state. I think Heather would have the right to be pissed in this instance even if she didn't mind an occasional pot smoker because they are being televised and he's not respecting the fact that it's still illegal.

They do search luggage at airports sometimes. My mom's luggage was chosen at random and her shit was disorganized and thrown everywhere. So unless he has a serious medical issue, I don't see him taking the chance of being detained by airport security for hours and possibly charged with a felony when he's just taking a few days of vacation. And I definitely don't think he's so desperate that he'd plug it up his ass. That's just ridiculous. I highly doubt he's scouring the streets of PR like some crack fiend either.

If Derek and even Heather smoke, more power to them. But I think he's just smoking cigs. Weed would be a discussion he would have with her privately out of respect for her just because it's still illegal. @butterbody What is your opinion on that as a smoker yourself? 

Or maybe it's like you said and the production crew took the chance and they're all chilling together off camera. 

With that I think I've beaten this dead horse more than he deserved and I feel we should go ahead and give him a proper burial.

Btw on behalf of cancer patients and those who have had to helplessly watch their loved ones suffer, I thank you for your work. Most people still don't know how much this plant can help so many in need. Florida didn't jump onboard in time to give relief to my dad so I for one will never stop lobbying. 

I guess for me, where they live in Florida it is illegal. and technically they could both get in trouble if it is found on them. heather is a flight attendant and Im sure she could lose her job. I think the issue for me would be that wrong or right, it is illegal!! 

[Gem 10]

I just had a thought after reading these posts about the weed.  Derek did say he was in the military.  Maybe he was in Iraq or Afganistan and saw a lot of action.  Maybe that's a reason why he feels the need to smoke ????