S04.E04: Honeymoons, Part 1

[Vinyasa]

Quote

Can anyone explain to me Derek's creepy tattoo of a naked headless woman squatting on a skull with flowers coming out of her decapitated neck? That would bother me more than the smoking.

UGH!!!!!!

He has so many tattoos, how did you notice that?  I couldn't stand looking at them but now I need to look closer and probably won't be able to stop!

Nick is the only one I haven't seen tattoos on. All the rest have them so I guess birds of a feather........

[SaucyMommy]

21 minutes ago, Neurochick said:

So much to say about this episode.

Derek and Heather:  First, I could care less about weed.  An MD friend once told me nicotine was the most dangerous drug known to man because you can die so many different ways because of it, and the second most dangerous was alcohol and SURPRISE, they're both legal and make a shit load of money for big business.  If weed were made by Pfizer it would probably be legal too.

Now, that said I think both Heather and Derek have a point.  Derek was like, "we're on vacation, I'm smoking because I'm on vacation," which makes sense to me.  I've been on many cruises and people drink alcohol a LOT more on cruises than they do IRL I'm sure.  Heather was like, "I don't know you Derek, you're a STRANGER (that word again)."  What she meant was she doesn't know how Derek really is when he's not on vacation.  Now, Heather probably said she didn't mind someone smoking weed occasionally, because she's probably done it a few times, maybe on holidays or something, so she couldn't say, "no smoking at all." 

I think Sonia is very self aware.  She realized that she overreacted to what Nick said, which was why she needed time alone, to think about what happened.  Sonia is a social worker, she probably always has to look for the meaning behind what people are saying; for instance, people will tell a social worker, "Everything's fine in this family."  But their body language might tell a different story, so Sonia is probably used to looking for hidden meaning in things.  But then, she realized she overreacted and it was all good.  Good for Sonia, and good for Nick for leaving her alone for awhile.

Tom and Lily are cute, but I have a funny feeling they might crash and burn; they also might have had sex too early.  When Lily got upset when Tom said something about people being materialistic, I was like, "and that's why you don't sleep with a guy unless you know a little more about him."  Tom didn't say Lily was materialistic, but she took offense, and that offense was probably taken because she doesn't know him that well.

I agree with all of this. I hate when they throw around "Stranger".  A stranger is someone you haven't had a conversation with - after 5 days of solid time together - you don't know everything about one another - but you are no longer strangers.

[Evil Queen]

3 minutes ago, Vinyasa said:

UGH!!!!!!

He has so many tattoos, how did you notice that?  I couldn't stand looking at them but now I need to look closer and probably won't be able to stop!

Nick is the only one I haven't seen tattoos on. All the rest have them so I guess birds of a feather........

I don't mind tattoos but his I can't stand. My husband has one on his upper arm and a small one on his hand. I think most of what bugs me is the color to them. LOL 

[HZAnita]

31 minutes ago, Madame Crabanda said:

Can anyone explain to me Derek's creepy tattoo of a naked headless woman squatting on a skull with flowers coming out of her decapitated neck? That would bother me more than the smoking.

That tattoo is supremely creepy!  She isn't naked though, she's wearing a bustier or something. I kept staring at it and got so distracted from anything that was being said, I had to rewind. lol  I don't mind tattoos, but Derek's aren't very artistic or beautiful, IMO.  They just seem like an unplanned mishmash of brightly colored images done while he was a teenager in the Navy.  I still like Derek though.

[Racj82]

I feel like I'm going crazy with all this weed talk. Yes, this could very well be the case but it also seems like the facts have figured out without zero actual facts.

People compare smoking cigarettes to drinking all the time. First, because they are both vices/addictions. Second, because they are both something that people can say they do occasionally when the reality can be different than that. Third, cigarettes often get lumped in with alcohol as two things that are legal but harmful but yet something like weed is not okay in most states.

No one goes around stating "smoking cigarettes". It's generally, do you smoke? Weed is the thing you need to specify because it's not as common.

The original conflict has always been about cigarettes so it's not shocking that she keeps going in on what was the initial problem in the first place.

When you fill out dating questioners, smoking and drinking are labeled the same way. Often, Sometimes/Social or Never. It's out on equal footing. So, if say he put social drinker on his form then he sees her drinking often, he has grounds to bring it up.

Every point that has been pointed out here could all mean nothing which why I'm not jumping to conclusions on any of this.

That's the thing about this show, I feel like a lot of projection is put onto these people. Like we have them all the figured out from every little thing they do. I can't imagine being the actual people in this scenario. I would be worried about every wrong move I make.

I just don't see the point in this in actual practice. Like, right now we are watching these guys get to know each other, feel each other out, figure out there flaws, etc. But, I feel like all of this should be done while dating. There should be an amazing lack of surprises when you get married. He smokes and I hate that. Should be known already. Where he lives? Should be know. Etc. I know that arranged marriages can work but marriages rarely work as it is these days anyway. Going in with more obstacles to overcome seems like crazy talk. It does make for interesting tv though.

I would be ready to bang my head against the wall talking about the smoking. Because that's basically what he was doing. Next time, just say no smoking. Also, if someone says they are just smoking more because they are on vacation. Roll with that since that's a perfectly logical thing to do. Indulge in some of your vices because you are on vacation. All he was asking was to understand where he's coming from at that things wont always be like that. But, honestly, the fact that he smokes at all will always be a problem. If I'm filling out one of those dating questioners, I never put occasional for anything. A dealbreaker is a dealbreaker. If you don't want kinds, don't want a drinker, etc. Just say no.

[jamblastx]

I wish that all of these people (inclusive of the first three seasons) would stop being so 'freaked' out about their mate being a stranger.  First of all, they knew what they were signing up for AND the later seasons had reference to the prior seasons.  Plus at this point, they are all on day five with the other person and have been with them 24/7.  They are NOT strangers anymore...they may not know them all that well yet but they are not strangers to each other.  Plus they have been vetted and matched by 'professionals' (yes I chuckled at myself for that one).   

If they had met at a bar, online or some other more 'traditional' method, after five dates they would not have spent all of that time together and yet not called each other 'strangers'...and there is a good chance that they would have 'consummated their coupledom'. 

[SaucyMommy]

4 minutes ago, Racj82 said:

I feel like I'm going crazy with all this weed talk. Yes, this could very well be the case but it also seems like the facts have figured out without zero actual facts.

People compare smoking cigarettes to drinking all the time. First, because they are both vices/addictions. Second, because they are both something that people can say they do occasionally when the reality can be different than that. Third, cigarettes often get lumped in with alcohol as two things that are legal but harmful but yet something like weed is not okay in most states.

No one goes around stating "smoking cigarettes". It's generally, do you smoke? Weed is the thing you need to specify because it's not as common.

The original conflict has always been about cigarettes so it's not shocking that she keeps going in on what was the initial problem in the first place.

When you fill out dating questioners, smoking and drinking are labeled the same way. Often, Sometimes/Social or Never. It's out on equal footing. So, if say he put social drinker on his form then he sees her drinking often, he has grounds to bring it up.

Every point that has been pointed out here could all mean nothing which why I'm not jumping to conclusions on any of this.

That's the thing about this show, I feel like a lot of projection is put onto these people. Like we have them all the figured out from every little thing they do. I can't imagine being the actual people in this scenario. I would be worried about every wrong move I make.

I just don't see the point in this in actual practice. Like, right now we are watching these guys get to know each other, feel each other out, figure out there flaws, etc. But, I feel like all of this should be done while dating. There should be an amazing lack of surprises when you get married. He smokes and I hate that. Should be known already. Where he lives? Should be know. Etc. I know that arranged marriages can work but marriages rarely work as it is these days anyway. Going in with more obstacles to overcome seems like crazy talk. It does make for interesting tv though.

I would be ready to bang my head against the wall talking about the smoking. Because that's basically what he was doing. Next time, just say no smoking. Also, if someone says they are just smoking more because they are on vacation. Roll with that since that's a perfectly logical thing to do. Indulge in some of your vices because you are on vacation. All he was asking was to understand where he's coming from at that things wont always be like that. But, honestly, the fact that he smokes at all will always be a problem. If I'm filling out one of those dating questioners, I never put occasional for anything. A dealbreaker is a dealbreaker. If you don't want kinds, don't want a drinker, etc. Just say no.

Totally agree with this - but I think it's fairly clear that they are talking about weed. The way "smoking" is constantly overdubbed when someone says it makes be believe she was saying "smoking weed". But I totally agree on deal breakers. Though I do think some things are very flexible because the person you marry today is not the same person you will be with 10 years from now.

[henrysmom]

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I can't imagine being the actual people in this scenario. I would be worried about every wrong move I make.

I do feel for them.  I think I was the only person who felt bad for Ashley last season, but I felt for her because she was so far out of her comfort zone.  But I also think that the participants must have known, on some level, what they were getting into.  Reality shows aren't new--heck I think the majority of these people have never known a world without reality television--so they've had to have watched some reality tv.  They have to know the drill--that there has to be a "villain", that everything you say or do is going to be analyzed online, etc.  But they still choose to sign up for this so I can't feel too badly for them.  

Add to that the fact that the people behind the show are going to want drama.  Heather said something along the lines of "I wanted to bring up the smoking last night but I couldn't".  I have to wonder if she wanted to bring it up off camera and the producers said that had to be an on-camera discussion.  Which of course didn't go well, probably much to the relief of the producers who aren't getting much in the way of drama or conflict from the other couples.

[Paddywagon]

Last season was just irritating and I didn't want to watch this season if it was just going to be more failures.  Surprisingly, this season is actually enjoyable to watch!  Heather/Derek provide the drama and the other two couples provide the smiles.  It's a nice balance.

Sonia may have overreacted to Nick's comment but something in how he said it or maybe his expression triggered her intuition big time.  I've been there!  It's impossible to pinpoint because it's subtle bit once the intuition wire is tripped it's hard to ignore.  I hope they work through it.  They seem to want to truly understand each other.

Heather and Derek's argument was so aimless.  They both kept whining about finding a compromise but neither suggested any ideas on what would be middle ground.  C'mon people, how about "I won't smoke for 2 weeks and you won't drink for two weeks so we can have some time to get to know each other without mind-altering substances."  Then revisit the issue.  If Heather found more to bitch about then she's really got issues.  But I think the smoking is the root of what's causing her to not like him.

I'm getting really tired of Tom beating around the bush about the dumb bus.  Would he really ruin the marriage over a bus?  If so then he's an extremely materialistic person, haha.

[izabella]

7 minutes ago, Paddywagon said:

But I think the smoking is the root of what's causing her to not like him.

Personally, I don't believe that.  I think she wrote him off at first sight, and has been building her case against him ever since.  Oh noz!  He's a gambler because he mentioned a casino we drove past!  He likes to take in the scenery when he bike rides and expects me to ride next to him!  He kissed me when the wedding photographer said to kiss!  He's getting another drink!  He smokes! 

If he were like the guys she's usually attracted to, the ones she said aren't nice to her?  She'd still be with him.

Edited August 17, 2016 by izabella

[Madame Crabanda]

43 minutes ago, Vinyasa said:

UGH!!!!!!

He has so many tattoos, how did you notice that?  I couldn't stand looking at them but now I need to look closer and probably won't be able to stop!

Nick is the only one I haven't seen tattoos on. All the rest have them so I guess birds of a feather........

I enjoy looking at well done tattoos so I was really looking at his to see what they were, and in each honeymoon episode there's been at least one shot where it was really easy to see the neck with the flowers coming out of it. It's on his upper left arm and when he puts his arm up over his head when he's relaxing it's pretty hard to miss.

[psychoticstate]

17 minutes ago, izabella said:

If he were like the guys she's usually attracted to, the ones she said aren't nice to her?  She'd still be with him.

Ding, ding, ding!  That's my impression too.  Regardless of what he's smoking, Derek seems like a fairly easy going, cheerful guy that treats Heather well so far and I think that annoys the shit out of her.  She didn't fall head over heels immediately and so I think she wrote him off quickly and is now finding fault with everything. 

I do think the "experts" maybe should be a little more firm in what is considered an occasional drinker, smoker, etc. if they aren't.  If they were pretty clear (i.e., occasional is smoking on social occasions; less than three times a week, etc.) then the fault lies with Heather and/or Derek.

One last thing - - I hate the word wifey.  It's like nails on a chalkboard to me.  Seeing Heather in a wifey shirt makes me want to rip it off her and then shred it.

[Empress1]

Just now, psychoticstate said:

One last thing - - I hate the word wifey.  It's like nails on a chalkboard to me.  Seeing Heather in a wifey shirt makes me want to rip it off her and then shred it.

I dislike the terms "hubby" and "wifey" equally - I hate baby talk of any kind, and those terms sound like baby talk to me. I'm assuming they were contractually obligated to wear the shirts because I think all the couples wore them. (I remember Heather & Derek and Nick & Sonia wearing them, can't remember if Lily and Tom did.)

[Pepper Mostly]

There is no way on earth Heather would wear a "wifey" shirt unless they made her.

[WichitaStateShock]

Minority here... I admit I wore a wifey shirt on my honeymoon in May. It was something cute and my husband loved it but in normal everyday conversation we don't say wifey shirt or hubby

[walnutqueen]

49 minutes ago, Paddywagon said:

C'mon people, how about "I won't smoke for 2 weeks and you won't drink for two weeks so we can have some time to get to know each other without mind-altering substances."  Then revisit the issue.  If Heather found more to bitch about then she's really got issues.  But I think the smoking is the root of what's causing her to not like him.

Before smoking was even a glint in her evil eye, she was all about the gambling (casino remark in the taxi) and "tidiness" (unpacking clothes in the hotel).  She's a Judgey McJudgerson right out of the gate, and will find anything to nitpick.

[Racj82]

Yeah, I think Heather is just picking at flaws right now because she's not into the guy. Not saying that her concerns have no validation. Some of the things she has hit on are dealbreakers or just regular issues for many people but it's something you see a lot. You keep picking someone apart until there is nothing left and you dismissing him or her is now justified. But, really, if smoking is legit this much of an issue than there should have been no occasional anything marked. She should have just said no.

These people did have to know what they were setting themselves up for. So, it's not liking I'm weeping for them. But, just thinking about myself in their shoes (which is why I would never ever do something like this), just makes me squirm. All of the stress of the early parts of dating and the part of dating when you really get to know a person beyond what they want you to see thrown on top of marriage? NO Thank You.

[Vinyasa]

Quote

 I hate when they throw around "Stranger".  A stranger is someone you haven't had a conversation with - after 5 days of solid time together - you don't know everything about one another - but you are no longer strangers.

They need to stop saying "stranger" just as much as Lily needs to stop saying "Tom and ME".  Why don't these production people watch anything before it is aired? "Me and Jaclyn", "Me and Courtney" .........

I'll bet we are going hear "stranger" for the rest of this show!

[biakbiak]

2 hours ago, izabella said:

Personally, I don't believe that.  I think she wrote him off at first sight, and has been building her case against him ever since.  Oh noz!  He's a gambler because he mentioned a casino we drove past!  He likes to take in the scenery when he bike rides and expects me to ride next to him!  He kissed me when the wedding photographer said to kiss!  He's getting another drink!  He smokes! 

If he were like the guys she's usually attracted to, the ones she said aren't nice to her?  She'd still be with him.

Yeah she keEPs bringing up him being messy because he preferred to just leave his stuff in his suitcase rather than in the dresser because they were only there for four days because she likes to completely unpack she thinks that is the only correct way to do it.

[okerry]

2 hours ago, izabella said:

Personally, I don't believe that.  I think she wrote him off at first sight, and has been building her case against him ever since.  Oh noz!  He's a gambler because he mentioned a casino we drove past!  He likes to take in the scenery when he bike rides and expects me to ride next to him!  He kissed me when the wedding photographer said to kiss!  He's getting another drink!  He smokes! 

If he were like the guys she's usually attracted to, the ones she said aren't nice to her?  She'd still be with him.

I agree that all the back-and-forth about Derek really isn't about his smoking pot (and he is) - it's really about the fact that Heather took one look at him and thought, "Nope." And once somebody does that, male or female, that's just the way it is and I don't think there's anything anyone can do.

I also agree that Heather will find any excuse to stay away from Derek. She's just not into him. If it wasn't the pot smoking, it would be something else.

We've seen this before on this show. The only one who came around after having a "nope" reaction to their intended spouse was Jamie - and that was out of love for Being On TV, not out of love for Doug.

Wish the people would just say No at the altar when they have this reaction, and have the show just let them date for a while and see what happens - then have a wedding at the end of the six weeks, not the beginning. Come to think of it, they ought to do that with everyone.

[Snewtsie]

Every time Tom mentions he lives "in a bus", all I hear is, "in a van down by the river."

Edited August 17, 2016 by Snewtsie

[TeapotWakeen]

Smoking/not smoking, messy/not messy, living in a bus/driving a luxury car -- these are all eye-rollers for me. But, Sonia? I just can't with her? I have to mute her conversations? and rely on the closed captions? because the uptalk? is even worse than a vocal fry for me. And it wouldn't instill confidence in clients if everything were uptalked in a helping session. I hope she sees herself? and re-learns to talk? because until then, I'ma just read what she says. THAT would be a deal-breaker for me if someone I dated talked like she does.

[JapMo]

I do think Heather has probably been in a lot of bad relationships and that's why as soon as she sees one sign of trouble, she's ready to throw in the towel.  Maybe she promised herself she wouldn't do that this time, and maybe that's why she decided to go on the show...because she would actually be married and not be able to get out of it so easy.   I think she is very guarded and maybe she can fake great customer service as a stewardess and appear to be a very fun-loving, bubbly extrovert, but deep down she is very jaded.  Not going to blame men 100% on that.  She's a big girl and got into bad relationships on her own accord.  But despite that, I truly believe she wanted to find someone to love and was willing to work hard.  Did she find him attractive at the altar?  I don't think so.  No, she didn't act utterly repulsed a la Jaime Otis, but I don't think she felt any spark, and we can all understand that that's a bit of a letdown no matter how understanding you are of the situation, but I think she kept telling herself he's a nice guy and she was going to give him a chance.

And then this whole smoking thing happened.  I'm going with weed, because of his comment last night that she acts like she's from the 1940s.  That suggests to me that he's putting down her intolerance as being prudish and old-fashioned.  But whatever.  I'm going out on a limb here and predicting that he asked her either at the reception or the wedding night if she'd mind if he smoked a joint.  And since I'm predicting, I'm going to say she was probably taken aback, and was fairly shocked that he would ask it, but didn't want to sound like said prude so she quickly said "fine" but really thought "what the f*ck?"  And then one joint turned into two, then four, then he's excusing himself to go smoke every hour or two.  And so deep down she knows she absolutely can't accept someone who does that, she's telling herself she can't throw in the towel on her marriage so quickly, so now everything he does has secret meanings or he leaves his wet towel on the floor and it becomes the most vile thing anyone can ever do.

I feel sorry for Heather.  I liked Derek, but if he is really a pothead, he should have put on his application many times that his ideal partner would be someone that goes along with his lifestyle or tolerates it.  And I doubt he did that.

[WichitaStateShock]

3 hours ago, Neurochick said:

 

I think Sonia is very self aware.  She realized that she overreacted to what Nick said, which was why she needed time alone, to think about what happened.  Sonia is a social worker, she probably always has to look for the meaning behind what people are saying; for instance, people will tell a social worker, "Everything's fine in this family."  But their body language might tell a different story, so Sonia is probably used to looking for hidden meaning in things.  But then, she realized she overreacted and it was all good.  Good for Sonia, and good for Nick for leaving her alone for awhile.

 

Question about Sonia being a social worker. If she works in a therapeutic role, is it okay for her to be on this show. Typically therapist don't self disclose or not without reason. With her possible clients looking her up online this could be disastrous for a career.

[MV713]

The other thing is that Heather (whom I do not like btw) is a flight attendant - and it can't look very good for her on tv and with her job that her new hubby just snuck illegal drugs on a plane!  Its not something I would want broadcast!

[ExplainItAgain]

Yeah, I think it's fine for the every day smoking to be a deal breaker for Heather. I just don't like the way she went about it - insinuating that Derek doesn't have morals or class because he smokes.

Also, Derek didn't really seem to offer much compromise. Why didn't he say that he wouldn't smoke for the rest of the honeymoon...or the next week...or whatever until they got to know each other better? He hasn't really said that a disapproving partner is a deal breaker for him, so is it? Or must he have someone who is OK with the smoking? Is he adamant that he would never quit - even if the right woman came along (whether or not that woman is Heather)?

Edited August 17, 2016 by ExplainItAgain

[izabella]

Derek said he stopped smoking after their argument.  Maybe he only said that on the Unfiltered show? 

The way I saw it:  Derek's point was that he asked and Heather had told him it was ok if he smoked so he thought it was, you know, ok if he smoked.  The next thing he knows, she's giving him the cold shoulder, trying to avoid him while bike riding, and then when he asks her if there's something wrong, she blows up about smoking.  Had she not blown up about it and just talked like a normal person, he would have explained he's doing it on vacay more than he normally would and doesn't do it that often at home, and he will stop.  But her attitude set him off, so he got upset and that's where they are.  But he did stop after the argument, so he's capable of not smoking.  Heather still has a right to dislike it and dislike him for it, but she wasn't able to handle it more reasonably because she wrote him off at first sight.

I still believe none of the things she so annoyed about would be annoying her if Derek were like the not-nice guys she usually goes for.

Edited August 17, 2016 by izabella

[BunnySlippers]

Okay, if it's actually weed that Derek is smoking, then I don't blame Heather for not liking that. I still think that she should not have said that she was okay with occasional smoking during the vetting process, but I bet when she said yes to that on the questionnaire, it never occurred to her that it would be about smoking weed, not cigarettes. It's just hard for me to imagine that the show would knowingly include people who smoked weed, since weed is illegal in FL and many other states. When Dr. Pepper said that Heather had said that she was okay with occasional smoking, I bet she didn't mean weed either.

I agree that when Derek had asked if it was okay if he smoked a joint and Heather said yes, she didn't think it would turn out to be every day, several times a day. And what does it say about Derek that this is the picture he's showing his brand-new wife? If they had known each other for a long time and he knew she was okay with it, that would be one thing. But they've only known each other for 5 days, and just because she said yes once doesn't mean she would be okay with him doing it all the time.

I think Heather started to talk about it to him on the beach when he said that he felt that something was wrong, and he asked her what the problem was. I think she had wanted to talk about it in private, but when he brought it up, she went with it. Maybe it was due to producer interference, who knows. It's so hard to know a lot of things from the little snippets we get to see on the show.

Edited August 17, 2016 by BunnySlippers

[izabella]

1 minute ago, BunnySlippers said:

I agree that when Derek had asked if it was okay if he smoked a joint and Heather said yes, she didn't think it would turn out to be every day, several times a day. And what does it say about Derek that this is the picture he's showing his brand-new wife? If they had known each other for a long time and he knew she was okay with it, that would be one thing. But they've only known each other for 5 days, and just because she said yes once doesn't mean she would be okay with him doing it all the time.

He's being himself.  Should he be pretending he doesn't smoke?

[BunnySlippers]

1 minute ago, izabella said:

He's being himself.  Should he be pretending he doesn't smoke?

Well, according to him, this is not really himself. He said he only does it on vacation. If he really wanted to show her who he is, then perhaps he should have shown her the "real" side of him, not the weed-smoking side when they are just starting to get to know each other.

[izabella]

5 minutes ago, BunnySlippers said:

Well, according to him, this is not really himself. He said he only does it on vacation. If he really wanted to show her who he is, then perhaps he should have shown her the "real" side of him, not the weed-smoking side when they are just starting to get to know each other.

If that's the case, then would it be your view that Heather should be not be drinking every day and as much as she is drinking on their honeymoon because drinking every day like that is not what she does?

[zxy556575]

13 hours ago, Paddywagon said:

Heather and Derek's argument was so aimless. They both kept whining about finding a compromise but neither suggested any ideas on what would be middle ground. C'mon people, how about "I won't smoke for 2 weeks and you won't drink for two weeks so we can have some time to get to know each other without mind-altering substances." Then revisit the issue.

Honestly!

Derek: Are you upset about something?
Heather: I don't like how much you're smoking.
Derek: But you said it was okay? It is more than usual because I'm on vacation and like to let loose a bit.
Heather: I understand, but I still don't like it. I'm sorry for giving you mixed signals. I shouldn't have said I didn't mind when you initially asked me.
Derek: I'm sorry that I've upset you. It's not important to me and I don't want it to come between us. I won't smoke any more while we're here, okay?

Instead, we get a circular "I know you are but what am I?" series of taunts.

Also, if it's important to Heather's rigid mental health than Derek unpack his clothes and he doesn't give a crap, she should have done it for him. I just hope Derek doesn't remark that he likes palm trees because then Heather will be all, "He's a coconut thief!"

Edited August 18, 2016 by lordonia

[Tara Ariano]

In case you missed it, here's the Previously.TV post on the episode!

Which Married At First Sight Couples Are Most Likely To Consummate Their Marriages?

And more not-quite-burning questions sparked by 'Honeymoons, Part 1'!

[Drogo]

You'll notice a number of posts have been removed for discussing Jamie's Twitter.  Episode threads are for discussion of events in the episode only. 

There is a very special place for social media talk here. 

[jamblastx]

1 hour ago, TeapotWakeen said:

Smoking/not smoking, messy/not messy, living in a bus/driving a luxury car -- these are all eye-rollers for me. But, Sonia? I just can't with her? I have to mute her conversations? and rely on the closed captions? because the uptalk? is even worse than a vocal fry for me. And it wouldn't instill confidence in clients if everything were uptalked in a helping session. I hope she sees herself? and re-learns to talk? because until then, I'ma just read what she says. THAT would be a deal-breaker for me if someone I dated talked like she does.

Good idea using the closed captions because I cannot stand that either but at the same time I would be in hysterics if the closed captions had question marks at the end of all of her statements

[humbleopinion]

Season 2 brought to you by Tito's Vodka courtesy of Jacklyn.

Season 4 is sponsored by Section 8 Yacht Club-a clothing line as modeled by Nick.

[Vinyasa]

Oh is that what at Section 8 is????

I wondered why they were wearing those shirts!!  Why is that allowed? They are on this show for love only.

Yet if someone has one has on a Nike shirt, they have to turn it inside out.

Edited August 17, 2016 by Vinyasa

[BunnySlippers]

34 minutes ago, izabella said:

If that's the case, then would it be your view that Heather should be not be drinking every day and as much as she is drinking on their honeymoon because drinking every day like that is not what she does?

Her drinking every day (according to Derek, "all day"), does not make a good impression either. And it was something I brought up before, so I'm not giving her a free pass about that, just like I don't give Derek a free pass about his - alleged - weed smoking just because he seems like a nice guy and Heather seems cold and judgmental. I noted in one of my posts before that when Derek mentioned her drinking, she brushed that aside and ignored it, and kept talking about his smoking instead. Neither of them has handled this situation well.

Edited August 17, 2016 by BunnySlippers
grammar

[Vinyasa]

Quote

The only one who came around after having a "nope" reaction to their intended spouse was Jamie - and that was out of love for Being On TV, not out of love for Doug.

It wasn't just Jamie, it was Jaclyn too.

[cardigirl]

Okay, here's my two-cents-worth.  

I get frustrated with this show because even though people agree to be on it, and even though a panel of 'experts' works to find couples they think will match well, we still get people who are shocked, SHOCKED I say,  when they are not matched with a perfect person.  The entire point of this show (apart from entertainment) is that there is more to making a good marriage than "chemistry" and appreciating someone's good looks.  And yet, every single season, some of the marriages are rejected, almost ON THE SPOT, before any kind of relationship can begin to be built. 

So, even though I thoroughly enjoyed the first season, and thought the experts said many great things about what it takes to make a marriage strong, I'm saddened to see the show ALWAYS have to have the drama.  I get that it's entertainment, and people wouldn't watch if everything was great from day 1, but I'm tired of seeing people sign up for this and then reject it almost immediately.

I feel bad for Derek and Heather, but mostly for Derek, as of now, because I get the feeling he was genuinely in this for the long haul.  We'll see how it plays out.   

P.S.  I like Pastor Calvin.  

[humbleopinion]

Section 8 gives Nick free clothing to wear/shill on the show and maybe throws some $$ Nick's way.

Managing vacation rentals can't be too lucrative.

Plus he has another (red lipsticked) mouth to feed.

Makes good sense to have a sponsor.

[kira28]

Imo Derrick is definitely smoking weed.  During the discussion he acted like he was being attack and he said some ppl will argue that alcohol is worse... Now I have heard that used quite often in the legalize weed argument.  Also he said he can't smoke at work..  People smoke cigarettes at work all the time.  Honestly I'm not totally against it.. I've had friends who smoke weed and exes who had done it occasionally in high school or something.  But I would not date or Marry someone who uses it.  Especially if it's illegal where I live.  

I totally understand Heather's point of being totally turned off by him smoking every day...  A few years ago I dated a guy who did not drink.. At all.  He wasn't opposed to others drinking but he chose not to.  He was very into healthy eating and running. My ex before him was always drinking various types of alcohol and when I was with him I'd let loose and drink shots and even apple pie moonshine.  I don't normally drink much and have only been drunk Twice.  When I dated no alcohol guy it was nice to be around someone who never got messed up and did stupid shit.  When. We broke up. I dated a guy I'm convinced was a functional alcoholic.  He held down a good job and didn't drink when. He had to go to work but pretty much every weekend he would drink til. He couldn't sit up.  Sometimes he passed out.  I was always sober so when he drank. It annoyed me and was such a turn off to see him acting stupid and wasted.  I guess I just saw it a weakness and immaturity that he would drink so much.  

So I totally get Heather's concerns.  Though at the same time I understand what Derrick means by he's on vacation and ppl relax and do things they don't normally do all the time while they r on vacation.  

I can't put my finger on it but Lillian and Tom seem fake to me.  I think Lillian was disappointed with the sex.  She is saying all the right things but her eyes just look sad and disappointed and her smile is a little strained.  

Nick and Sonia are cute

Edited August 17, 2016 by kira28

[Neurochick]

1 hour ago, Snarklepuss said:

I'm with you on this.  I would be catastrophizing him into the biggest pothead based on what she claims he did off camera.  I'd be crying and probably even more upset than she is right now. 

If someone dated a person who was addicted to something, I can see them being very upset at his smoking, but then why didn't Heather say NO WEED when she filled out her application?  I'll tell you why, because she's probably smoked weed as well, on occasion, so she didn't want to say NO WAY because she knew she'd look like a hypocrite. 

1 hour ago, Snarklepuss said:

He's nice in every other way BUT he's got this one issue I can't live with - That will NEVER work

That is also true, but Derek was also correct.  Nobody's perfect and maybe Heather is the type who will find flaws with everybody and if that's true then she will be alone forever.

[Vinyasa]

Quote

The other thing is that Heather (whom I do not like btw) is a flight attendant - and it can't look very good for her on tv and with her job that her new hubby just snuck illegal drugs on a plane!  Its not something I would want broadcast!

We don't know that he brought it with him on the plane. 

As someone previously posted, he could have bought it five minutes after getting out of the airport.  They are in Puerto Rico so I doubt he'd have any problem  if it is what we think it is.

Edited August 17, 2016 by Vinyasa

[Momof3]

Re: weed or not- I just can't believe he is smoking weed. There's so much liability. Unless it's legal in the state that they are in-otherwise, the production staff would be accomplices to a crime. I know that sounds crazy-but I am an attorney and was a prosecutor/ADA-and it would have been prosecuted by my former office (not that I would have agreed with that at all). Not if he is overseas-but if he did it in a state where it was illegal. And there is *no way* production staff would let it be traffiked onto a plane. That's a federal crime-and no one is that naive. I also don't think that they would do that to her. 

 

re: his smoking at all- I used to smoke and am a generally open-minded person. But were I her-the smoking would drive me crazy enough to divorce. "Occasionally" means when you're out with friends. NOT everyday by yourself. Smoking and alcohol (to me at least) is different b/c smoking stinks and tastes horrible. Kissing someone after a drink is a whole different ballgame than kissing someone after smoking. And toothpaste cannot fix that. NOTHING can keep his mouth from tasting like an ashtray except 24 hours and lots of gum, mouthwash etc. 

 

To me, he is way too "whatever" for her very overly-serious personality. I get that opposites attract. My H is soooooo serious and I'm soooooooo not. But to a point. I make jokes and am light hearted-don't unpack on a trip etc.  There's a difference btwn being irresponsible and being light-hearted. He hasn't really done anything yet to point to his being irresponsible, but that's the feeling I get from him. And, to me, running off to smoke on national tv is irresponsible. What about future employers? Current employers? It's not fair at all-but smoking is so taboo now and unless you work for yourself it's not a good idea to announce it to the world. 

[Momof3]

I hadn't even noticed the tattoos! Here are screen shots. They're awful! To me at least. 

[WichitaStateShock]

Those tattoos are not attractive on him.

[Jade Foxx]

1 hour ago, Momof3 said:

I hadn't even noticed the tattoos! Here are screen shots. They're awful! To me at least. 

Yeah. The headless one is pretty disturbing. 

And Derek is smoking the weed, the Mary Jane, the sticky icky. I said it from the beginning and still 98% sure...

[Lola16]

Lol. What is that last one? A slice of pizza holding hands with Sponge Bob?

[zxy556575]

1 hour ago, Momof3 said:

I just can't believe he is smoking weed. There's so much liability. Unless it's legal in the state that they are in-otherwise, the production staff would be accomplices to a crime.

It's unclear (deliberately, I assume) in the episode if Heather and Derek are arguing about cigarettes or weed, but I tend to think it's drugs. IF it is, the incredible, willful stupidity is what I'd be pissed about were I in Heather's place. In Puerto Rico, a first offense for possession of any amount of marijuana is a felony punishable by 2-5 years in jail. And that's leaving aside the possibility that Derek just casually threw a baggie in his suitcase.

Edited August 17, 2016 by lordonia