The Other Duggars: The Lost Girls and Amy

[alt0233]

The more I see of Joseph with the Bates family (via Instagram, mostly) the more I like him.  Like is relative, of course, but he seems to have way more of a personality than when he was just blending in with the rest of the Duggars, doing whatever.

[Fuzzysox]

From the Pickles and Hairspray page, a poster mentioned that Famy posted on her Instagram that she is pregnant. I don't have instagram but the post was made way back in January so we would have known by now as Famy would pimp herself out to every magazine that would "tell" her story.

 

So I'd like to know if this is true or not. Can someone stalk her IG in the name of truthtelling for us? 

[jb0495]

I don't see anything on Amy's Instagram stating that she is pregnant. Unless it's in the comments under a picture, but j didn't see any.

[Fuzzysox]

I don't see anything on Amy's Instagram stating that she is pregnant. Unless it's in the comments under a picture, but j didn't see any.

Thanks for checking. I thought it was strange since Famy would be on every magazine cover with the news by now.

[Micks Picks]

This is the oddest thing about Jim Bob.  He really cared for his sister all these years and showed great support for Amy.  Despite their teachings seeming to support cutting off family for out of wedlock situations, he showed love for them both and seemed to genuinely want to be around them.  Amy's parents only married in the law few years.  That's the one thing I really like about JB,

[floridamom]

I don't understand why Amy got a 'pass' from the Duggars in being allowed to hand out with his children, but other children, who may have been born IN WEDLOCK, but also may have looser Christian rules are NOT allowed to be their friends...?

[Fuzzysox]

I don't understand why Amy got a 'pass' from the Duggars in being allowed to hand out with his children, but other children, who may have been born IN WEDLOCK, but also may have looser Christian rules are NOT allowed to be their friends...?

I think Grandma would have given Boob a piece of her mind if that would have happened.

[CofCinci]

Wished the Duggars would send their kids to real school. Such a waste to attend clown college but it's something. At least now Joseph had to get up a certain time. It's not Duggar time.

Compared to what they've experienced, this Crown College is practically Harvard.

[floridamom]

So Jim Bob accepted his sister and Amy because his mother would have "given him a piece of her mind"? I don't think that would have really influenced him at all; look at how he treats his own mother and there are many things that Mary Duggar could have and should have given him a piece of her mind about, but doesn't. She takes all the crap and nonsense from him. I can't understand why. I don't give him a pass on that because if his sister is worthy of "understanding and acceptance" why not other nice people who may have had a difficult spiritual journey? I see your point, though Fuzzysox.

[flyingdi]

I think deep down, and you guys may disagree, that Jim Bob is a nicer person than his wife. I think he has a genuine, if weird, love for his family and that is why he won't cut his sister and Amy out of it. Even though he has said bad things about his father he did sort of take care of him.

I think if Amy was Michelle's blood niece she would have been cut off quicker.

I am still inclined to think Michelle is the one driving this crazy train.

Edited February 23, 2015 by flyingdi

[graefin]

I think deep down, and you guys may disagree, that Jim Bob is a nicer person than his wife. I think he has a genuine, if weird, love for his family and that is why he won't cut his sister and Amy out of it. Even though he has said bad things about his father he did sort of take care of him.

I think if Amy was Michelle's blood niece she would have been cut off quicker.

I am still inclined to think Michelle is the one driving this crazy train.

I think (aside from the crazy belief system) that JB is a "normal" person. He seems to feel genuine emotion and is capable of having a conversation. Michelle seems to have mental issues, and I've wondered for a while whether she might have narcissistic personality disorder (perhaps among other disorders), because she seems to show some traits of it. I am convinced that she doesn't feel empathy for others, she seems to make everything about herself, and she often doesn't seem to have a sense of what the appropriate emotion to show is. I think it was very telling that in an early episode where Jill and Jana are having their wisdom teeth extracted, although both parents are there, Jill goes to her father for comfort. It must have been ingrained in them from an early age that he was the nurturer, not their mother. For a mother to lack that natural instinct is a sign something is very wrong, IMO.

[floridamom]

A good point noted above that Jill went to her father, NOT her mother for comfort for her wisdom teeth anxiety and fear...very observant! I also agree wholeheartedly that if Amy was HER blood niece she would have severed all ties with her and that Michelle takes those types of marching orders from Jim Bob. Michelle didn't ever seem close to Amy during the segments that I saw. I thought she was part-tolerating her presence, is luke-warm to her AND to Deanna.You don't EVER see those two go out to lunch do you? No way.

[Joe Jitsu913]

Michelle needs to be the Alpha female in the house. She's the Princess.

[Fuzzysox]

Who knows why Boob stays close to Deanna and accepts Famy? I simply stated that I can't see that Grandma would tolerate him cutting her out of their lives. IDK MEchelle doesn't seem attached to anyone at least Boob makes an effort to have at least his family members close to his kids.

 

I don't like nor do I ever communicate with my SIL. My husband keeps in touch with her. We never see her nor does she make an effort to see my kids. IDK I just never felt any love from her so I stay away. It's my husband's only family and I'm an only child. I can't explain it but not having her around makes no difference to me. Maybe MEchelle feels this way about Deanna??

Edited February 23, 2015 by Fuzzysox

[msblossom]

I agree that family, including extended family, means a great deal to JB. He has a lot of affection for Amy, and it's clear to me that Michelle tolerates her.

I get the feeling that Michelle just piggybacks onto the emotional connection JB has for his kids and extended family members when it appears in reality she just doesn't feel much at all (which is just my speculation). I have yet to get a sense that she feels any kind of depth of emotion for them and she just kind of watches how JB responds so she can react in a pseudo-caring way.

But as far as Amy and Deana are concerned, I think Michelle would be happy if they moved away.

[Vaysh]

I'm not sure I agree Jim Bob is "nicer" or all that normal a person, his massive control issues alone make him seem just as batshit as Michelle at times. I do think that he is better at connecting with his children than Michelle is (which isn't all that difficult after all), or at least at connecting with his daughters. With the sons there appears to be some sort of weird competitive relationship going on, especially once the boys reach puberty. I haven't watched all episodes, but I don't recall that many scenes where Jim Bob interacts with his sons unless he is competing against them in some capacity. I could be wrong but he seems a lot more stand-offish with the boys than the girls. And with the girls he's clearly playing favourites, giving more affection and attention to those who fawn over him and never disagree with his headship.

 

For example, I remember a scene where Boob, Jill and Jana were in some tourist shop (in South America somewhere I think) looking for a gift for Mechelle and Boob reveals his grand plan of buying a native dress, looking mighty pleased with himself. Jana then very meekly suggests that maybe they should be getting Michelle something more practical that she could actually use, and wow are the short seconds after extremely telling. Boob looks fantastically pissy and turns away, basically shutting her out, Jana looks upset and resigned like she knows she made a mistake in questioning him, Jill on the other hand immediately steps in and smooths things over by diverting attention to herself; she also clearly knows Jana made a big faux pas. That short scene really stood out to me because it, along with other things Jim Bob says and does, implies to me that his love and affection towards his kids is very much conditional. He is closer to and more affectionate towards his children than Michelle is, but the relationships he has with them must always be on his terms and I think he sees and values his kids mainly in conjunction to himself, not as individuals in their own right.

[floridamom]

Agreed. It is apparent that Michelle just doesn't know how to emotionally react and respond appropriately. It was apparent to me when Jim Bob was telling her about Cathy being perhaps too ill to attend her son's wedding...she was looking TO him on pointers of how to respond to that. Even someone as dull as I am, noticed that about Meechelle.

Yes, Jim Bob interacts with his sons in a competitive way and puts himself in that competition like he is half his age and one of their peers; yet demands that he always come out on top...he seems distant to his younger sons; as it he is waiting for them to 'grow up" enough to compete with. I also think that he is conditional with his older daughters and they don't know where the land mines are as to when it's "ok" to suggest something other than what he suggested in the first place. As far as the little girls go, I think he doesn't have much use for them yet in any area and is just waiting for them to replace the older ones as they marry off; then it's the same thing all over again.

[Barb23]

Great posts about Boob & MEchelle. Boob is one of those people who has to be in charge & thinks their way is the only way & you better not go against him. Good point about all Boob wants to do is compete against his older sons. Remember the episode where Boob & John Doofus take Ben & Derick to the great outdoors to see what type of men they were? Even with Ben's fears, those two trumped Boob & Doofus. Boob had to be talked into rapelling/jumping down from a not too high platform & Doofus wouldn't even do it. I wonder if Boob's competitiveness comes from being the picked on kid growing up.

[Wellfleet]

Great posts about Boob & MEchelle. Boob is one of those people who has to be in charge & thinks their way is the only way & you better not go against him. Good point about all Boob wants to do is compete against his older sons. Remember the episode where Boob & John Doofus take Ben & Derick to the great outdoors to see what type of men they were? Even with Ben's fears, those two trumped Boob & Doofus. Boob had to be talked into rapelling/jumping down from a not too high platform & Doofus wouldn't even do it. I wonder if Boob's competitiveness comes from being the picked on kid growing up.

 

That would absolutely be my guess. Boob was the weenie little picked-on kid for so many years. Do I remember him saying at some point he didn't even gain his full adult height until he was something like 16 or 17? Oddly late IMO. Well, he has most assuredly spent the last 30 years trying to counter the Picked-On Years. Like Mechelle, emotionally and psychologically he'll be 17 forever. In fact he might be closer to 14. 

[graefin]

Yes, Jim Bob interacts with his sons in a competitive way and puts himself in that competition like he is half his age and one of their peers; yet demands that he always come out on top...he seems distant to his younger sons; as it he is waiting for them to 'grow up" enough to compete with. I also think that he is conditional with his older daughters and they don't know where the land mines are as to when it's "ok" to suggest something other than what he suggested in the first place. As far as the little girls go, I think he doesn't have much use for them yet in any area and is just waiting for them to replace the older ones as they marry off; then it's the same thing all over again.

Being overly competitive is another trait of NPD, so maybe he has it as well. Or maybe he's just a jerk. In my view, from what we've seen, he's still nowhere near as mentally ill as Michelle.

 

I'm not sure whether his response to being contradicted by his daughters is a sign of conditional love or merely the product of the aforementioned "crazy belief system," where females are taught to be subservient to males and daughters are under the authority of their fathers until marriage. It's possible to love someone while being displeased with their behavior. Then again, Jill, the angel child, *did* get the bigger house, while little-miss-sass Jessa got Mold Shack, so who knows?

Edited February 24, 2015 by graefin

[Vaysh]

 

I'm not sure whether his response to being contradicted by his daughters is a sign of conditional love or merely the product of the aforementioned "crazy belief system," where females are taught to be subservient to males and daughters are under the authority of their fathers until marriage.

 

I'd say both those things are true and very much intertwined. It takes a certain type of personality to dive into a cult like Gothardism with such apparent gusto as Boob has. He comes across as a person who has an almost pathological need to control everything, including his relationships with other people, and the patriarchal mess that is Gothardism not only allows him but encourages him to do so. The scene I mentioned above definitely reflects the ideas and ideals of Christian Patriarchy (daughters should never question their father's authority, especially not in public), but I doubt Jim Bob would've joined up with that ideology if he'd had a less controlling and more generous personality.

 

Gothardism clearly fulfilled some kind of need in Jim Bob and I think that over the years it has exacerbated the more unpleasant aspects of his personality. The control issues and self-centeredness were probably there from the start, but where most people out in the real world get negative reactions when acting out such issues, Jim Bob has spent the past thirty years in an environment where controlling one's family is considered a virtue and where he is the undisputed ruler of his household. By God's command, no less! By now he probably feels wholly entitled to submission and constant deference from his wife and children, especially the girls, and that's why he gets into a snit when questioned by one of them and I think that's why he appears to favour the Stepford daughters over the more "uppity" ones like Jessa. I'm sure he loves them all in his own way, but that love is always on his terms and seems dependent on how the girls behave towards him.

[Jynnan tonnix]

That would absolutely be my guess. Boob was the weenie little picked-on kid for so many years. Do I remember him saying at some point he didn't even gain his full adult height until he was something like 16 or 17? Oddly late IMO. Well, he has most assuredly spent the last 30 years trying to counter the Picked-On Years. Like Mechelle, emotionally and psychologically he'll be 17 forever. In fact he might be closer to 14. 

Well, my husband didn't gain his adult height until he was 21...he graduated high school at 4'8", did a couple of years of college, then enlisted in the Navy and grew a foot the year after that. He had his share of being bullied and picked on as well. He's managed to counter that by excelling at a 38-year-long career, and working his way through the ranks to the position of Commodore.

 

Sorry, that's a bit off topic, but the height thing is a bit of a cop-out...Also, my husband is retiring in a month, and I'm immensely proud of him :)

[lampshades]

I didn't think it was that uncommon for boys to not reach their full heights until their late teens/ early twenties. My husband and most of my male cousins didn't stop growing until they were in college.

[floridamom]

If Jim Bob was indeed picked on in high school for any reason, that was a pretty lame "Christian school" he attended. Aren't they supposed to be charitable and godly? He is approaching 50 years old and should have left those things behind a very long time ago..I know a lot of us carry things through our lives that we should have put down too, but HE claims to be superior to the rest of us heathens and should have "conquered that demon" in himself a long time ago. Could it be possible that HE is not perfect?

[Fuzzysox]

A very Famy wedding in the works?

 

http://radaronline.com/photos/amy-duggar-engaged-boyfriend-ring-shopping-photos/photo/867223/

 

I'm actually excited for Famy. I'd love to see how her wedding will be different then the other girls. Will she not shun her cousins and have them in the wedding party? This I'd love to see. 

[GEML]

Together all of three months! Some parts of the apple don't fall far from the tree. (And yes, I believe you can know quickly - I called my mother two weeks after I dated my own husband. But then, I wasn't going around acting holier than thou about my holier than thou Uncle and his "courting" practices.)

[Fuzzysox]

Famy has admitted to kissing a lot of frogs but has finally found her prince! We should all be happy that we can once again wear our tin-foil dresses to yet another wedding!

[Bean421]

In fairness to Famy, they've known each other for several years. I believe they even dated last year, separated, and then rekindled their relationship a few months later. If she's happy great. I do think all this press is just to generate interest in televising her wedding.

[Wellfleet]

Well, my husband didn't gain his adult height until he was 21...he graduated high school at 4'8", did a couple of years of college, then enlisted in the Navy and grew a foot the year after that. He had his share of being bullied and picked on as well. He's managed to counter that by excelling at a 38-year-long career, and working his way through the ranks to the position of Commodore.

 

Sorry, that's a bit off topic, but the height thing is a bit of a cop-out...Also, my husband is retiring in a month, and I'm immensely proud of him :)

 

Totally agree, jynnan. You're right to be very proud of your husband. And if being shorter than average was part of Boob's problem - and I think it was - it WAS a cop-out.  HIS cop-out.

[Skittl1321]

 

If Jim Bob was indeed picked on in high school for any reason, that was a pretty lame"Christian school" he attended.

Lots of kids in our neighborhood go to a Catholic school. They are normal kids. Their school doesn't make a difference. Some are mean, some are not.  Not all religious people are good people.

[lampshades]

Lots of kids in our neighborhood go to a Catholic school. They are normal kids. Their school doesn't make a difference. Some are mean, some are not.  Not all religious people are good people.

 

Not all kids who attend Christian schools are particularly religious either, especially once you get to the high school level.

[Literata]

 

If she's happy great. I do think all this press is just to generate interest in televising her wedding.

 

I'm all about a Famy wedding. It will be fun to watch Deanna and Grandma participating in normal wedding-planning activities. I think Grandma would really enjoy that. I still think it was telling when MEchelle and Grandma and the kids were watching Jessa order bridesmaids' dresses and Grandma made the point that $100 "is pretty much what bridesmaids' dresses cost." I don't think Grandma is terribly enamored with her daughter-in-law.

 

I like Famy. Yes, she's a little over-the-top. But I love her normalcy and the fact that she seems to love her extended family even though they obviously disapprove of her. I think she comes across as a positive, compassionate, decent person. 

[Barb23]

I like Famy too. At least she brings laughter & fun into a house/family that seems to be devoid of it.

[Fuzzysox]

I  love you guys yes I do! I hadn't even thought or even considered that Famy's wedding would become a tv e.v.e.n.t!!!! Yes I would watch it. I can see Famy being completely normal and having a nice dinner, a real cake and some dancing too! 

[TheDoctorsCompanio]

I want an Amy 2 hour wedding event special!!!

[Edit]

Read the article and I like their story. I liked they knew each other for 5 years and just have a strong pull between them that they can't shake. And she's nursing the guy back to health after his car accident.

Edited February 26, 2015 by TheDoctorsCompanio

[GEML]

Not at all interested in an Amy wedding special. I see plenty of those weddings in real life.

[Fuzzysox]

Not at all interested in an Amy wedding special. I see plenty of those weddings in real life.

Hater

[GEML]

I can't send anymore pretend presents! ;)

[trimthatfat]

I like Amy and I wouldn't watch a wedding special if she was given one.

[Absolom]

Amy has to actually get engaged and make it down the aisle.  She hasn't had a good track record of making it past the we're shopping for rings stage.  She's had a few break ups at what she imagined was we're about to get engaged.  I'd probably watch her wedding show just to see how she showed off.

[Barb23]

I  love you guys yes I do! I hadn't even thought or even considered that Famy's wedding would become a tv e.v.e.n.t!!!! Yes I would watch it. I can see Famy being completely normal and having a nice dinner, a real cake and some dancing too!

I'd love to see Grandma Mary out on the dance floor. She seems like she would really enjoy a nice wedding reception & be interested in what was going on. I wonder if Amy will include any of the girls as bridesmaids. Possibly Joy since she is the one Amy is closest too. But then the girls would play the modest card & say they would only be in it if the dress was modest.

[Absolom]

Remembering that Amy is still a Southern Baptist, I wouldn't get my hopes up for NY Greek wedding type situation.  Her parents aren't tremendously well off either.  On the other hand if she can get TLC to pay for it, she might go wild.

[CarolMK]

I'd definitely watch an Amy wedding, if for no other reason to see Jim Bob and MIchelle look uncomfortable at the dancing and to pontificate how different she is from their own kids, j/k. Actually, since she's an only child, her parents may want her to have a really nice wedding and since they don't have to conform to the Duggar modesty standards, it might actually be refreshing to watch. No minister or Jim Bob stating that Amy and her groom saved their first kiss for their wedding day crap, which I don't think most of America, even those who are conservative, give a hoot about. 

[Fuzzysox]

^^^^^This! I too want to see how the Duggars will cringe at the wedding!

[TheDoctorsCompanio]

More importantly I want to see how the kids will react. Will they embrace it or not? Also I think Amy would have modest dresses for the Duggar girls out of respect (if they would be in the party)

[GEML]

Do we know that there would be dancing, though? For one thing, her fiancé had been pretty badly injured recently and probably isn't able to dance. I'm pretty sure there wouldn't be any drinking. What with having shelled out for two "real" Duggar weddings back to back, what is the point for TLC to fund one if there isn't something to really see?

[Fuzzysox]

We all know that Jackson would get his grove on it it was "allowed." The boy was born to dance.

 

I think Amy would have a more traditional wedding.....at least they would have a first dance. A sit down dinner, a cake and some fun after the dinner like the first dance and *gasp* a garter toss. 

[Bean421]

Even if it isn't televised, you know some off shoot media outlet would cover the wedding and talk to Boob and J'Chelle. Then Jessa can post her outrage at the Godless life Amy is living on social media. It's Win-Win.

[Skittl1321]

 

I think Amy would have a more traditional wedding.....at least they would have a first dance. A sit down dinner, a cake and some fun after the dinner like the first dance and *gasp* a garter toss.

 

Does Amy dance?

I have a cousin whose family is southern baptist. And her parents actually did not attend the reception because she chose to have a first dance with her husband. Most of her family came to the ceremony but did not attend the reception.

[GEML]

I've been to a lot of weddings where half the reception left after the dancing started. It wasn't even so much a protest as it was a sense that the reception had gone on long enough at that point and they were ready to go.