Jill, Derick & the Kids: Moving On!!

[Higgins]

Jim Bob seems to have a good head for deals. I wish I did.

[overbooked]

 

I read an interview with Jill and she said "Derick and I both want as many children as the lord will give us".  I was hoping Derick would feel differently.

 

I'm very interested to see if they included that as part of their actual wedding vows like Josh and Anna did.  If this is just something they're saying now it could change after they have 8 or 9 kids and start adding up all those expenses--$50K of orthodontia alone!  But if it is part of their actual vows before God, we know how seriously they take that and I think it would almost be a certainty that, barring any fertility issues, they will end up with a huge brood.

 

Sorry my quote didn't credit the original poster. I'm new here and still learning how to use the site.

Edited July 2, 2014 by overbooked

[bunnylove]

Seems like Jim Bob has a good 'head' for a lot of things! :)

[ramble]

Seems like Jim Bob has a good 'head' for a lot of things! :)

Bwhahaha! But also brain vomit.

I wonder if Dill's "as many children as the Lord will give us" is literal or lip service assurance that they aren't going the evil worldly way to pacify the family. Most people simply can not provide for 19 kids. There is no way Jim Bob can contribute enough money from the TV shows to all 19 kids having 19 kids. I know it's also not likely they'll all have that many or likely that he'll spread out the dough. The numbers, in theory, are staggering though. 361 grandchildren. 6,859 great grandchildren. I feel brain vomitish again.

[trimthatfat]

I really think Jill and Derrick said 'we'll have as many kids as the Lords gives us' because they really can't say otherwise at this time. I'm sure they've had conversations between them about the size of their family. Derrick is an only child (from what I can recall) and he seemed quite overwhelmed by the size of the Duggar family. I wouldn't be surprised if they 'only' had 5 or 6 kids and called it a day.

 

I do hope they enjoy the honeymoon phase for at least a year before having a child, but that probably won't happen.

[Skittl1321]

19 is not the norm for families with 'as many as God give us".  If she has a big family, it is really more likely to be 8-13 kids.

[cereality]

I agree "as many kids as God gives us" is what they have to say. What are they supposed to say -- no, we intend to use BC no more than 2 for us -- when it's the fact that her 19 kid family has gotten them "fame," money, a likely free/comped wedding and honeymoon; not to mention it's hard to be so open about stepping away from a religious belief in front of your new wife's overbearing family.

 

Derick is one of 2 and seems overwhelmed with the Duggar siblings. Frankly if they have as many as God gives them, I don't see them having more than 8 or so -- that's about the size of Amish families, LDS families etc. that don't believe in BC. Her parents have 19 bc they are constantly trying. Privately though I can see them using some family planning, even if it's just rhythm -- that'll limit family size further. I still think it'll be more than the typical 2 kids most have in the US -- but I can see them calling it a day with 4 or 5. Frankly Derick may start talking to Jill about it -- about how he wants his kids to have opportunities like college; that's hard enough to provide for 1-2 kids given costs these days even in-state, let alone 8-10 kids. Yes he makes good money as an accountant, but accounting is a solidly middle class profession and not one that'll enable him to be making 7 figures absent some amazing good fortune.

[MrMattyMatt]

It's obvious that Boob is a horndog selfish bastard that most likely has been trying to get J'Chelle knocked up as many times as possible only for the fame and his ego.  Jill seems much wiser and will most likely "naturally" not have quite so many kids.  I suspect Anna, who appears to be on the fringe of losing it lately, is most likely resisting Smugs quite often if only to simply space the "blessings" out.

[overbooked]

This is one of the many issues they could not discuss freely before marriage because all of their conversations were monitored.  What if Derick's idea of a big family is 5 or 6 kids?   He could never say that with JB and Michelle or any of Jill's siblings listening in.  And now that they're married it's kind of late to find out there may be a difference of opinion. 

 

If I understand this correctly, Michelle had so many kids in part because Gothard teaches that babies are to be off the breast at 6 months so the woman's fertility can return as quickly as possible.  That's why her babies had a crib in her and JB's bedroom until 6 months at which point they were transferred to their buddy to be cared for.

[Jynnan tonnix]

Indeed...that's the difference between interpreting "as many as god gives us" as "strive for every single fertile month of your life to result in pregnancy" and "by all means, avoid fertile days if you are not necessarily ready for children (or more children), but welcome them lovingly if a pregnancy happens anyway". The wording of Jill's comment could easily mean the latter.

[JessDVD]

My guess is Jill and most of the Duggars will have somewhere in the 5-10 range, disregarding anyone who's really truly brainwashed and/or anyone who quietly gets a vasectomy or tubal ligation at age 18. I think especially the older kids, maybe Joy Anna on up or so, aren't dumb enough to not notice how they went from squalor to the Emerald City (more or less) once TLC came along and either now or eventually will realize that the show's not going to last forever and sustaining a family that huge and not living in squalor is fairly unattainable for the average income. I mean, we don't need to all be paying for private school tuition or expensive sports camps or whatever, but there's a big jump between that and 16 people squeezed into a 3 bedroom house.

[3 is enough]

Has anyone heard when the wedding episode will air?

 

I just hope that Jill doesn't get knocked up right away.  Let them have some time to enjoy being Mr. and Mrs. before they become Mom and Dad. I think it is especially important since they had such a rushed courtship with virtually no private time.  I really hope they have at least a year or two before the blessings start to arrive.

Edited July 2, 2014 by 3 is enough

[Skittl1321]

 

I just hope that Jill doesn't get knocked up right away. Let them have some time to enjoy being Mr. and Mrs. before they become Mom and Dad.

 

This would be yet another thing Michelle got to enjoy that her children did not.  Jim Bob and Michelle had 4 years of marriage to enjoy together before kids came along.

[trimthatfat]

This is one of the many issues they could not discuss freely before marriage because all of their conversations were monitored.  What if Derick's idea of a big family is 5 or 6 kids?   He could never say that with JB and Michelle or any of Jill's siblings listening in.  And now that they're married it's kind of late to find out there may be a difference of opinion.

 

Maybe it's the optimist in me, but I have to hope that Jill and Derrick had private communications prior to the marriage. It wouldn't be that hard. With one of the older female siblings 'chaperoning', I could easily see a chaperone purposefully trailing behind so they can get that private time in. I just don't think Jill is planning on 15 or so while Derrick has his heart set on 5, max.

[cereality]

Jill and Derick both seem rational. Even if they didn't get to privately talk about it, if/when they start talking about it and Jill says "I'd like 12" while Derick says "what -- I want 3," I feel like they'll be calm and rational about it the way many couples are. Many couples say -- ok let's start with 1 and see how we do, and then go from there. Doing that they could end up meeting somewhere in the middle -- if they want drastically different things to start with.

 

I however don't think they'll enjoy a few years of marriage before kids. Sadly I see Jill in the same boat as Anna -- stressing by month 4 of marriage if she isn't pregnant yet. She has grown up Gothard and even if she wants to step away from it, she's not going to be able to turn her back on it immediately; she has grown up seeing that women get married so they can have babies ASAP. It was the case with Whitney, Erin, Anna and so many others that she probably knows. The only way that doesn't happen is if she has such a great time with married life -- traveling, no "real" responsibilities, and a partner to share it all with -- that she thinks 'wow what's the rush, I could do this for a few years.'

[JessDVD]

I don't know much about the Bates and Bates' wives, but I think the difference between Anna and Jill is that Anna didn't have anything she wanted to do with life other than get married and have babies, that I've been able to think of. There's not fundamentally anything wrong with that (theoretically), and she seems to be getting what she wants, so more power to her. Jill is really the only Duggar that we've ever been shown wanting to do *and actually doing* anything specific with her life other than marriage and babies. (at least, that I can think of, feel free to correct me if I'm missing anyone, there are a bunch of them) If Jill actually wants to keep on with the midwifery thing, she will probably have to keep a lid on the babymaking.

[lottiedottie]

I think Jill (and the other Duggar daughters) have so much experience raising children already, that they probably know how freaking hard it is to have a bunch of kids, and might be more than willing to cool their heels before popping out baby after baby. Maybe she'll get pregnant at some point during their first year of marriage, but she's probably so happy to have a break from raising kids right now! For many people, it can be as easy or as hard to make a baby as you want it to be if you have the right knowledge (and barring infertility issues, of course). What I mean is, for those with normal fertility, it's all about the timing and if you are careful you can "aw shucks, we missed our window. Dagnabit!" 

[JessDVD]

When it's the right night, Jill takes a double dose of Ambien before Derick gets home from the late shift at Walmart... "Man, I was so tired last night! Sorry we missed our chance!"

[maraleia]

That's funny @JessDVD however as an accountant Derick will never work late enough for Jill to already be asleep. Remember the Duggar kids stay up till all hours of the night so Jill is the one who is going to have to get used to going to bed early if she wants to keep the same schedule as Derick.

[PecanSandie]

As a young Gothard bride who let's face it, wasn't the cutest zone of the bunch, she wil rush to have a baby. It's the only way so he can validate herself.

[abseedee]

Jill with her family at a parade.  Obviously Derick is at work but, Ben is there with them.  Does he still have a job?  Spending some time with her family is fine I guess but, I hope Jill is also making time to visit with her MIL.

 

http://instagram.com/p/p9kCsYrs_7/

[JessDVD]

Well, there is tax season... :-)

[Absolom]

Derick is working for a company, not in private practice as a CPA.  Year end may be very busy for him.

[lottiedottie]

I just had the horrible thought--what if they don't produce a baby fast enough and JimBoob and J'Chelle  start asking questions and GIVING THEM ADVICE? They might make a baby just to keep her parents at bay. Shudder to think!

[overbooked]

Interesting comments.  Since Jill has never lived on her own and had to pay her own bills for rent, utilities etc. it may be an eye-opener for her to see just how much it costs to live in the real world when you're on your own. If they only have his paycheck to live off of, she may gradually come to realize that it won't stretch far enough to cover all the expenses for 15 or more kids.  I guess their answer would be "If God gives us the children, He will also give us a way to take care of them".  Of course the wild card in all this is we have no idea how much they're getting from TLC/People for all the wedding coverage.

[Bella]

Another thought is that there's been a lot of concern expressed about Jill and Derrick living close to the Duggard compound now. But what about 5 years from now? Or 10 years? I don't see them sticking around long-term. 

[Literata]

 

I hope Jill is also making time to visit with her MIL.

I do, too. I wonder what's happening with Derick's mom ... I'm hoping she simply had a setback -- e.g., was temporarily ill from chemo -- and that she's headed toward remission or cure. 

[abseedee]

I do, too. I wonder what's happening with Derick's mom ... I'm hoping she simply had a setback -- e.g., was temporarily ill from chemo -- and that she's headed toward remission or cure. 

I'm hoping it was a simple setback also.  Chemo does make some people feel fuzzy and weak.

[DangerousMinds]

As a young Gothard bride who let's face it, wasn't the cutest zone of the bunch, she wil rush to have a baby. It's the only way so he can validate herself.

I think Jill is very cute. I'm not a Jessa fan and I'm sure I'm not the only one. I don't think she'll feel any need to validate herself based on her appearance.

[Lillybee]

I am glad that Derick is not talking time off work to hang out in Duggarland unlike Ben.

[JennyMominFL]

New article, New pics and their honeymoon location revealed.

The newlyweds spent their honeymoon at Kill Devil Hills, North Carolina, and rented a house on the beach, Jill, 23, exclusively reveals to PEOPLE.

 

http://www.people.com/article/jill-duggar-derick-dillard-honeymoon-north-carolina-wedding-19-kids-and-counting

[abseedee]

New article, New pics and their honeymoon location revealed.

The newlyweds spent their honeymoon at Kill Devil Hills, North Carolina, and rented a house on the beach, Jill, 23, exclusively reveals to PEOPLE.

 

http://www.people.com/article/jill-duggar-derick-dillard-honeymoon-north-carolina-wedding-19-kids-and-counting

They must be glad they're back from their honeymoon since NC is now under a hurricane watch.

[JessDVD]

Four for all of you who guessed North Carolina!

Otherwise that article was a yawn. Oh hey, newlywed couple, like about fifty thousand others out there.

[ramble]

Kill Devil Hills

Well since they went somewhere they're killing the devil it probably negates any defrauding beachiness they might encounter. Whew!

[Sew Sumi]

Someone claiming to work at A Mommy's Butterfly (the place Jill apprentices) claims that the bridal shower they gave her - complete with some of the mommies she helped deliver - doubled as a going-away party. If TLC taped this, and they may well have since they've featured her "career" on the show, and this person is not a troll (this was on the Duggar tumblr, so I am suspect), they're violating a NDA they definitely would have had to sign.

 

However, if TLC didn't tape and this is true, it is sad to see Jill throw away any freedom she had with both hands to be a stay at home wife in the Gothard tradition. There is absolutely NO reason she can't do both, for the time being at any rate. If she has quit, it's indicative of Gothard/Phillips/other Patriarchal culture leaders' daughters who are essentially doing stuff while they mark time as they wait for Prince Charming.

 

I really hope this turns out to be a troll rumor. Lord knows we've had enough of Razing Ruth (and her other personas) and "Sin in the Camp" as far as the Duggars are concerned for me to trust an anonymous comment, but in the event that this person is telling the truth, it's sad. She's only been home for 3 days, and maybe there haven't been any checkups for her patients, and she goes back to work next week? I hope so.

[cmr2014]

 

Someone claiming to work at A Mommy's Butterfly (the place Jill apprentices) claims that the bridal shower they gave her - complete with some of the mommies she helped deliver - doubled as a going-away party.

 

I hope that this is untrue, but it wouldn't surprise me at all. In this "culture," if Jill continued to work it would imply that either Derrick was unable to provide for his wife, or that Jill was unwilling to put aside her own desires to create a home for Derrick. Perhaps if they decide to go on a missionary trip, Jill will complete her training.

 

I really hope that Derrick's mother recovers 1) because, obviously, I would hope that for anyone 2) because she seems like a nice lady 3) because Derrick has already dealt with the loss of his father 4) because I think it would be great for Jill to be pampered by a real mother figure 5) because I think that she could give Jill some perspective and help her learn to become a partner to her husband rather than a servant.

 

I think it's unrealistic to expect Jill to leave a 19th century mind-set and transition to a 21st century mind-set in a matter of days.

[Lillybee]

I do hope that Jill keeps on training, she was so close to becoming a certified nurse midwife and she must be bored staying at home.

[Reddust]

Jill may want to have a baby right away so her MIL can see her first grandchild especially if she's really bad off.

[Iwadre]

Anyone find a link with the "kitten house" in it? I wish I had a nice house like that at 23!

[Bella]

 

I think it's unrealistic to expect Jill to leave a 19th century mind-set and transition to a 21st century mind-set in a matter of days.

 

I would have said "medieval" instead of "19th century," but great point, @cmr2014 . 

[ButterQueen]

As a young Gothard bride who let's face it, wasn't the cutest zone of the bunch, she wil rush to have a baby. It's the only way so he can validate herself.

I think being the first daughter married is validation -- not that I think she needs it.

[overbooked]

Picture on her Instagram today of them having dinner last night.  They're sitting at the dining room table with real plates, silverware and glasses.  Hooray for using real tableware.

[Turquoise]

I am curious to see how many babies Jill's generation end up with. I am second generation of a large family...my dad is one of 14 (and yes, my grandmother gave birth to EVERY ONE OF THEM ;) ). He has one brother who had 6, a sister and a brother who each had 5, and the rest generally stuck to the 3-4 range. NO ONE wanted to have a family the size they grew up in. Granted my family is Irish Catholic, not Gothard, but I still wonder how often children who grow up in huge families try not to duplicate the size with their own families.

[Rhondinella]

They're sitting at the dining room table with real plates, silverware and glasses.  Hooray for using real tableware.

 

 

Well I would hope so, after all the stuff they asked for on the wedding registry!

[PinkSprinkles]

Picture on her Instagram today of them having dinner last night.  They're sitting at the dining room table with real plates, silverware and glasses.  Hooray for using real tableware.

 

I find it hilarious how many of us are probably more overjoyed about this than we should be. 

[ramble]

I'm happy to know that too. Strangely happy. I have a family member who has a large family, bucketfuls of money, 3-4 complete sets of dishes, but routinely eats off paper & plastic so as not to have to do the dishes. It's not like she would, she has a maid come multiple times a week. Last time I visited I came home & started packing cloth napkins in my kids lunches for school as opposed to paper. I already had quit using Ziplock bags a few years ago but I find myself being overly conscious of things like that now. Maybe that explains the overly invested happiness that tidbit of info gives me. Either that or I'm just a dork.

[trimthatfat]

I do hope that Jill keeps on training, she was so close to becoming a certified nurse midwife and she must be bored staying at home.

I would hope she'd at least finish her training. Even if she ultimately decided to be a stay-at-home wife, I think it would be nice for her to have some professional certification under her belt. She really doesn't have anything to lose and she's not pregnant yet, so why not?

Edited July 3, 2014 by trimthatfat

[BitterApple]

Turquoise, my mom grew up in a big Irish Catholic family as well and none of her siblings had more than three kids.

I can see Derick and Jill having four or five kids, but not double digit numbers. If Derick's mother is terminal (and I pray she isn't) it would explain her eagerness to get pregnant right away.

[Vaysh]

However, Jill has been brainwashed her whole life into believing that a woman's sole purpose in life is to get married and have however many children god gives her and Derrick isn't from a large family, he's only got one brother and might be quite attracted to the idea of a huge brood. I think there's a good chance they'll end up with at least ten.

 

I really, really hope that Jill won't quit midwife training until she's certified and has worked for a few years at least, it would be such a waste. But I wouldn't be surprised if she did quit, this lot has got such a twisted view on women and gender roles.

[PecanSandie]

I do feel sorry for Jill. Being immersed in the Bill Gothard/ATI cult puts her in a position where she has to conform to certain behaviors and lie when she doesn't conform.

Take for instance her lie about going to the beach on her honeymoon: the false claim that hardly anyone else was there because it's not the busy season at the beach.

This is a prim example of being so frightened of what the people in the cult will think of her for going to the beach that she decides a bold faced lie to a national magazine is a better idea.