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Jill, Derick & the Kids: Moving On!!


Message added by CM-CrispMtAir,

Shout out to everyone participating in the conversation about Jill’s miscarriage/stillbirth. You’re navigating a difficult topic with respect and thoughtfulness and your contributions are kind, considerate, constructive and informative. 

Thank you. 💚💚

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I am also pleased to see Jill wearing pants, but I have had a suspicion for quite a while that the Duggar girls wear pants these days more often than we know of.  I think they still trot out their skirts and flip flops for the camera in an attempt to keep with the Duggar family dress code they initially presented, but I bet that they wear normal shoes a lot more around the house, and pants when doing more physical labor.

 

I wonder if Jill knew that her picture would be taken, and if she would have run to wait in the car if she thought so.

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I think a lot more than what we see goes on when they are not filming.  Especially as time goes on.  Which is maybe why some of the kids look at loose ends.  If they really had nothing to do for the most part, they would be even more rambunctious than we see.  They can probably manage to sort of hold it together for the filming.  Do we know how much time the film crew spends with them?  And between seasons are they left to their own devices except when they seek out publicity?  

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It's hard for me to tell from that picture at the gym with derickdillard, but is Jill wearing a skirt over those pants? If so, it's nothing new. They just can't seem to admit that pants aren't a bad idea and lose the skirt over it, which looks ridiculous. I can't see a clear view of her feet, if she does have actual shoes on.

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It's hard for me to tell from that picture at the gym with derickdillard, but is Jill wearing a skirt over those pants? If so, it's nothing new. They just can't seem to admit that pants aren't a bad idea and lose the skirt over it, which looks ridiculous. I can't see a clear view of her feet, if she does have actual shoes on.

At second look this actually does seem to be the case. You can see a kind of indent in her pant leg just above her knee where they skirt seems to end and if you look at her just above Derick's knee you would expect to see some kind of "daylight" for lack of a better term. She's standing with her feet spread. But unless she has an exceptionally low crotch, there is a skirt there. 

 

Bummer... I was really hoping she was wearing pants. We know the women in Derick's family do so he's fine with it. 

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And it looks like the bottom of the skirt is showing from underneath the coat- above Derick's left hand. I'm hoping, just hoping that maybe it's a longer tunic type maternity shirt but I'm sure I'm wrong.

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Judging by the photo it looks like either Jill was coming to pick him up or they were working out together and she was waiting for him to finish. It's funny how out of all the married couples, the only ones not really into health and fitness are Josh and Anna. As much as Jill annoys me, I'm glad to see that she's on top of her diet and exercise during her pregnancy.

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Jill got a great deal on bananas so she is freezing them for baby food.

http://instagram.com/p/xcjgRJGCWH/

When is solid food introduced to babies these days?

Those bananas will be pretty old by then (I'm sure they will be on sale again!)

Making banana bread would be a better idea!

My theory is that she is making banana splits for her howlers when they come over I bet she still have a couple vats of ice cream from her wedding to use up.

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Lol, I can't believe I did it but I did.  I got my magnifying glass to take a closer look at the pic.  It doesn't seem like Jill is wearing a skirt at all and if she was wearing one under that coat it would have to be a very short one like mid thigh or she could be wearing a long top under the coat.  The part seen above Derick's left hand is part of that person or thing behind Jill's right shoulder and it does look like she is wearing shoes.

Edited by abseedee
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Lol, I can't believe I did it but I did.  I got my magnifying glass to take a closer look at the pic.  It doesn't seem like Jill is wearing a skirt at all and if she was wearing one under that coat it would have to be a very short one like mid thigh or she could be wearing a long top under the coat.  The part seen above Derick's left hand is part of that person or thing behind Jill's right shoulder and it does look like she is wearing shoes.

I'm still laughing picturing you in front of a computer screen or tablet with a magnifying glass but thanks for doing so & clearing up the mystery! I think that all of us(myself included) that have commented on the picture really need to find a hobby, as the saying goes. In my case, unfortunately, the Duggars are one of mine.

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I'm still laughing picturing you in front of a computer screen or tablet with a magnifying glass but thanks for doing so & clearing up the mystery! I think that all of us(myself included) that have commented on the picture really need to find a hobby, as the saying goes. In my case, unfortunately, the Duggars are one of mine.

Ha!  I didn't know my DHB was watching me.  You should have heard me try to explain what I was doing when he asked.  This was the first and last time I will be perusing pictures with a magnifying glass! =-)

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Ha! I didn't know my DHB was watching me. You should have heard me try to explain what I was doing when he asked. This was the first and last time I will be perusing pictures with a magnifying glass! =-)

Haha. I think it's great! Why not? This is fun :)

I just hope Jill and Derrick are happy and that their baby is also healthy. I'm not sure what they'll be like in 5 years, etc., but so far some of these pictures are more positive than negative, I think. If they are changing from how Jill grew up, it takes time. I think Jill lives God and really wants to do what's right. Maybe not, but if she does, I think she'll get there...or at least not someone just completely full of hate. Do other people think she's completely full of hate? Is it possible to be loving and not realize that part of what you're doing is hateful?

Does that question make any sense?

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As far as I know, neither Jill nor Derick has ever said anything hateful or even unintentionally unkind. You can say that they have family members who have said controversial things, or that they have followed ministers who have said controversial things, but the same couple be said of me, and believe me, Im as liberal a person as they come. That is not to say that I think Derick and Jill are ever going to be culturally or politically liberal - I'm just saying that being part of the world they live in and making some of the choices that they do does NOT necessarily mean that they feel the same way towards people as more vocal people in those same groups.

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I think there are lots of people like Jill and Derick (not as extreme) -- they love the Lord and really want to live and raise their family according to the Bible. When realities come their way like -- Muslims or gays or whatever else that isn't exactly how they grew up -- they're quick to condemn and spout their religious ways. At the end of the day, I guess they are hateful BUT as someone who is a non-Christian minority, my view has always been that 95% of the time with such people it does not matter because they have such "small" lives. Jill and Derick will always live in Arkansas in an all white neighborhood surrounded by like minded Christians. So their hate for other groups is pretty much hypothetical bc honestly how much will they or their kids interact with other groups? Their life will just come across as loving Christianity and they'll go about their day to day of work and paying bills with occasional instagram postings about how if you don't believe what they believe, you're a sinner.

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Or, maybe, they don't hate. They just don't parade their ideas around the way the politically active people who are trying to do it are. Derick is someone who took two years out of his life to spend with people who aren't white, like-minded Christians, and I think that Jill, out of all of the older Duggar children, would like to, given the opportunity. Again, I'm not saying that they agree with everything you or I may think or feel, but that's a long way from actually hating or being unable to meet real people who disagree with you where they are. Until Jill and/or Derick posts something along the lines of Ben, Jessa or Josh, I think perhaps the fact that they have NOT done or said anything similar in all of their public comments actually DOES say something.

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Okay, thanks for the responses. IVe never gotten the impression that these two are hateful, but I wanted to ask because I feel like I'm often wrong. All of the Duggars are confusing to me and more so when I think about them separately. I still don't know exactly how I think about them, to be frank, especially when it comes to speaking/writing about them. I really appreciate the responses to my question!

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That picture looks odd, like it might be photoshopped. I'm not saying it is, but it looks like it to me.

Someone mentioned this on FJ and the poster said that It’s not photoshopped. She found it on Tumblr and that the fan who spotted Derick and Jill at the gym took a picture (I think probably without Jill and Derick knowing). She cropped and lightened the pic so that she could get a better look at Jill's pants,

 

eta:  This is the original pic:

 

http://dillardfamily.tumblr.com/image/107771559131

Edited by abseedee
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Jill tweeted a picture of herself working out while listening to a SERMON! FFS, must everything be about God/Jesus/Religion. These people are so brainwashed it's unreal. When I work out, I must have music... with a beat. Listening to a sermon would be the most boring, un-motivating thing to listen to.

Sometimes, I'll listen to podcasts or Joel Osteen sermons while at the gym and I am not religious at all. I can focus better when listening to inspirational words.

 

I am glad Jill is going to the gym. Even low impact exercises can be a great destresser. I'm not surprised she's wearing pants - I agree with the thoughts here that there's a lot the family does off-camera that we don't/won't see. I bet most of the older girls lounge around in sweatpants when not filming.

Edited by trimthatfat
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I was just going to post the same thing.

I was picturing her wearing the bow and tag from their Christmas picture, lmao

 

At any rate I think its great she is taking care of herself, she will need to be in shape for all the pregnancies and births. 

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What happens if Jill has no girls to be D'Slaves? (Dilly Slaves). Is she going to mother all of her kids? I can see her doing it. She has a genuine love for kids. Unlike her mother.

I can see her raising the kids even if she has a lot of girls. She might have the buddy team for when they go out, but I think Jill would be a hands on mom.

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I can see Jill being a really good Mom to quite a few kids... whether it's practice, or her nature, or whatever, she seems very good with kids of all ages. I don't think it's just from being forced into it either. I think the whole buddy system as in "hold your buddy's hand while crossing the street" or kids knowing who to go to if they have some immediate need is generally a good thing as long as they know Mom or Dad are also good to go to. "Hold your buddy's hand to make sure they ate sometime today, brushed their teeth sometime this week, and have changed clothes recently" is kind of a different deal in my mind. I don't see Jill going for that particular buddy plan, because I think she'd be more hands on. Hard to know til we see what happens though I guess.

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I see Jill being more like Anna or like Kelly Bates than her own mom. She seemed very maternal even with her siblings -- whereas Jessa and Josh just dealt with younger sibs out of obligation -- so I imagine it'll be even more heightened with her own kids. I see her being involved with everything her kids do; sure she'll get overwhelmed if they try to have one every yr or two and then she'll pull in Jana to help and then when they're older have a buddy system, but somehow I see a buddy system that looks like the Bates home -- where the parents are still very much in charge and directing everything -- rather than the Duggar home, where it's more like -- yeah the 10 yr old gave the 4 yr old cold, uncooked oatmeal -- ok the kids have eaten.

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 I think the whole buddy system as in "hold your buddy's hand while crossing the street" or kids knowing who to go to if they have some immediate need is generally a good thing as long as they know Mom or Dad are also good to go to. "Hold your buddy's hand to make sure they ate sometime today, brushed their teeth sometime this week, and have changed clothes recently" is kind of a different deal in my mind.

 

I see this as being completely reasonable. It isn't abdicating the parental responsibility onto a child. Unfortunately their buddy system doesn't stop here. I remember one of the first times I saw a Duggar show one of the kids fell down and got scraped up. She was crying and went over toward Michelle. She was told to find her buddy 'Mom'. I was disgusted. Michelle was standing right there not doing anything else. 

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I don't have a problem with the buddy system per se. It's the idea that each older daughter has a de facto family of four children of "her own" that I find off putting.

 

Agree - except I find Mechelle's abdication of her parental responsibilities as a good deal more than off-putting. She's lazy and completely self-absorbed.

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She's admitted that she doesn't have a "heart" for children. Now, she claims that she prayed for one and God answered her prayer. I agree - he answered and said, no, you don't.

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I see this as being completely reasonable. It isn't abdicating the parental responsibility onto a child. Unfortunately their buddy system doesn't stop here. I remember one of the first times I saw a Duggar show one of the kids fell down and got scraped up. She was crying and went over toward Michelle. She was told to find her buddy 'Mom'. I was disgusted. Michelle was standing right there not doing anything else.

Or the time MEchelle told Jordyn to find Jana because Jordyn wanted something to eat & MEchelle couldn't understand her.

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She's admitted that she doesn't have a "heart" for children. Now, she claims that she prayed for one and God answered her prayer. I agree - he answered and said, no, you don't.

 

I hadn't heard this. I am so very, very sad for those kids.  It explains a lot though.

Edited by 3girlsforus
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Michelle isn't a natural nurturer. That's not a slam - I don't think most women are. It's actually not that big of a problem when you are raising one, two, even three kids, because you are so busy with doing and not being natural doesn't mean you don't love your kids, just that you need to work harder and can't rely in your emotions to take you there.

But it can't take you through 19 kids and 40 years of childcare. And we are seeing that. I think Michelle loves babies because the hormones gave her emotions towards her children she otherwise didn't have.

Jill, Anna and Kelly Bates are natural nurturers. And you can see the difference. Jessa, on the other hand....

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A lot of women take time to warm up to the idea of motherhood. No one likes to talk about it because they get shamed in this society. I remember Tamar Braxton getting heavily criticized because she said she did not feel an immediate attachment to her baby and I believe Angelina Jolie got flack for calling her baby (who was a newborn at the time) a 'blob'. I don't fault Michelle for not feeling an instinct to be maternal - it happens. I do fault her for having a bunch of kids knowing that though.

 

I think Jill will love motherhood, but I also think that after the first baby, she may rethink having a large family.

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That's just it - not being a natural nurturer doesn't make you a bad mother. And it has NOTHING to do with loving your children. If it did, most children I think, would be lost. But it's fine for small families of 1-3 kids, which is what most mothers have today.

Jill will most likely be a great hands on mom. But as she is, it's also likely that she realizes some of the emotional heft a mother can bring to child rearing that was lacking in her household - especially after the first six children or so. Only she will know if she can provide that to a large number, and how many. But I think feeling it, she may realize it's too precious to give up for the sake of numbers.

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That's just it - not being a natural nurturer doesn't make you a bad mother. And it has NOTHING to do with loving your children. If it did, most children I think, would be lost. But it's fine for small families of 1-3 kids, which is what most mothers have today.

 

I'm confused - I wasn't saying one had anything to do with the other. I was actually agreeing with your point. But okay.

Edited by trimthatfat
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Jill can act like a silly, giggly, immature teenage girl. She seems clingy with Derick. I wonder how she will act once the baby comes. Will she mature enough to be a good mother. She also seems to enjoy the attention she gets because she is the first Duggar girl to get married and pregnant right away. In some ways she reminds me of Michelle. Will the howlers and lost girls be visiting her and staying the night after Dilly Baby is delivered. Will Jana, Jinger, or Joy Anna be expected to help her with the baby. Why will I feel so bad for Derick and his family once the kid is here.

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Jill can act like a silly, giggly, immature teenage girl. She seems clingy with Derick. I wonder how she will act once the baby comes. Will she mature enough to be a good mother. She also seems to enjoy the attention she gets because she is the first Duggar girl to get married and pregnant right away. In some ways she reminds me of Michelle. Will the howlers and lost girls be visiting her and staying the night after Dilly Baby is delivered. Will Jana, Jinger, or Joy Anna be expected to help her with the baby. Why will I feel so bad for Derick and his family once the kid is here.

I don't know why but I do think she will have more maturity as a mother than she does as a wife. I think the wife thing is so novel to them bc they were never allowed to be around any boys ever; so just a guy talking to them, not to mention getting to cling to his arm, hug, kiss, and have sex makes her feel like a giggly schoolgirl. And then she clings to him because it's the "best" she's ever felt about another human and she misses him when he's not there 24-7. It's the way that having a boyfriend in middle school is SUCH a big deal even if you're doing nothing besides holding hands because the attention from the opposite sex makes a 6th grader feel so grown up and special.

 

In contrast -- the mom thing, she's been there, done that and got that trophy. She has seen that it involves 24-7 work (bc she has done it) punctuated by some rewarding moments. Somehow I don't see her being gaga for the baby -- beyond my baby is so cute and look I'm the first daughter to get married and pregnant and have one -- the way she is for Derick. I see her being attentive to the baby though from infancy and beyond; I mean if you can do that with your siblings -- that you didn't birth -- you certainly have it in you to pay that kind of attention to your own kid.

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Hi, hope it's ok for somebody from the UK to post on this forum?!

 

I found this forum quite by accident the other day and have spent quite a bit of time....work time!...reading your comments and laughing to myself.

 

Love the names you have given some of them, the howlers makes me laugh every time i read it!!

 

The run up to Jills wedding is showing in the UK at the moment, I do like Derrick just wish he had a little more 'back bone' tbh, but who knows maybe once the wedding is over things might change, would love to see them be independent, even just a little bit,  of Jim Bob....who makes my skin crawl.

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Welcome Kate from the UK. Snark away!

 

Oh on the Duggars Pickles and Hairspray page the owner posted a picture of JIll in the gym waiting on Derek (same picture that is posted here) and we quickly mentioned how Jill looks like she had been crying. Derick doesn't look too happy either. Wonder what gives?

 

I sure do hope they get another car ASAP. Jill will not have time to be running the streets all day once Baby Dill comes along. Where is used car salesman Boob when you need him??

Edited by Fuzzysox
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I don't remember what thread it was on (think it was on the thread about Seewalds site with their Ginger) but they showed a video of the mission group riding in the back of a truck that was open but had a fence like structure around it. I couldn't tell if Jill &Derick (esp Jill) were in the group & hoping they weren't. I know they have God & Jesus watching over them but how safe is that?

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