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Jill, Derick & the Kids: Moving On!!


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Shout out to everyone participating in the conversation about Jill’s miscarriage/stillbirth. You’re navigating a difficult topic with respect and thoughtfulness and your contributions are kind, considerate, constructive and informative. 

Thank you. 💚💚

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My husband and I married within a year of meeting. After marriage, we worked two blocks from each other. I didn't feel the need to meet him for lunch; nor did I disburb him at his work and call. We didn't have "texting or cell phones" back then..if we did, I still wouldn't distract him from his paying job. After I was at home with the baby, I still didn't call him. We all need our space. I don't think Jill gives Derick his space with the lunches and communication all day. The man works with numbers, has tasks to do and he would need his lunch time to relax half way through his day. I do believe that Jill is a bit clingy and it will wear on him sooner or later. She hasn't learned how to be by herself even for short times in the day. It's evident to me with the sleepovers from her little siblings, meals with her siblings,company for dinner, etc. You know Jessa and Ben didn't arrive for dinner when Derick got home; they most likely spent the whole afternoon with her first. Adjustments will need to be made.

  • Love 5
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I don't think there's generally anything wrong with meeting a spouse for lunch occasionally - they're young and in love and in the "get to know you" stage where they likely miss each other and they realize these spontaneous lunches will get harder with a baby in tow, naptimes etc. BUT I do  think it's too much in this case where she seems dependent on him for company; she is the one who has said she emails/texts all day long -- that plus lunches in an 8 hr day is a bit much. And he seems like a polite enough guy who doesn't want to piss off his pregnant newlywed bride by saying "hon I have to focus at work, please don't email me unless something is wrong" or "that project is really crazed, I'm just going to bring lunch back to my desk and work bc that'll give me an extra 45 min to work while it's quiet." He seems like he'll do whatever it takes to keep her happy -- at least right now and probably even moreso because she's pregnant; that's nice but she should be the one who is a grown-up and realizes that there's no need to email him at 3 pm when she's going to see him at 5 pm anyway and can just tell him whatever she wants then.

  • Love 5
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She seems so needy and annoying as hell. She needs a hobby of some sort to keep her busy.

 

She's about to have one come out of her vagina. I'm assuming she'll treat the child like a hobby, as she learned from her mother.

 

Let's face it, this girl is BORED. This is the first time in 22 years she's ever been alone and the first time in probably 15 that she hasn't been responsible for a mess of other people. She has absolutely no concept of how to entertain herself, how to BE by herself. No wonder she's texting/emailing/meeting him for lunch all the time. It's very sad. 

  • Love 5
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I wonder if now that the "newness" or whirlwind of courting, engagement and marriage is wearing off, Derick is starting to notice just how different Jill is from other girls he's known. He went to school in the south where many do have college sweethearts to whom they get engaged during school and married shortly thereafter, BUT even then those girls have lives. They had their own classes/major which need not be the same as their boyfriends; many girls at southern schools are very involved with sororities and guys with frats -- so there's a whole another avenue where the girl is spending time with her girlfriends and organizing events without her man in tow. Now here's Jill -- nothing to occupy her besides her siblings and Derick. In his heart of hearts, I wonder if he thinks it's odd that she has no outlets besides him and her sibs, and the one outlet she did have (midwifery) -- she was quick to give up -- and is content to just email him all day, go out to lunch with him a few times a week, host sibling sleepovers, and wait for him to come home. He never comes home and hears "hey babe -- I went to lunch today with my friend x and she was telling me a, b, c."

  • Love 2
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A lot of young people seem to have more fluid boundaries that previous generations. I don't know many who, assuming they have white collar desk jobs, don't manage to send out a few texts/FB statuses at work. I'm sure Derick is able to do so with Jill just fine. Three or four times a day, a few sentences? That doesn't even seem that excessive anymore given the way social media works, and I doubt he works strictly 9-5, but a more nebulous 8-6 type of job that depends on getting his work completed, thus a lunch break with his wife is not that odd.

  • Love 2
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I do not see anything odd about having lunch with your husband. They are still getting to know each other and Jill will be at home after the baby comes. Or not.

 

Some of my very fondest memories of my early dating years with my husband were lunches together. Granted we were lucky if it was once a month, but I actually think Jill/Derick's lunches are pretty ... dare I say it, precious?  Sweet?  It seemed like they could barely have spent enough time to get to know each other before they married, so I'm glad they're able to spend some time together now before Baby Dill gets here.

  • Love 3
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I saw on another site that Jill and Derrick are on their way with the rest of the Duggars to El Salvador for their annual Christmas trip.

I saw it too. Looks like Jana gets the honor of staying home with the little girls. But I guess with everyone else gone, this may be a vacation for her. Hope Grandma takes her own vacation or at least gets together with friends & forgets about the laundry.

We've discussed this before, but I wonder how Derick got the time off from work. I know there's always unpaid leave but the Christmas holidays are prime vacation time in most companies. In my experience (which was working in smaller doctor's offices not large companies) we put in for time off around the holidays in the summer or early fall. Most of the time, it was based on seniority. Most people just wanted the coveted day before & day after off but some had vacation time to use or they would lose it, so they took off more time. I wonder how long they'll be gone. I'm sure in Jill & Derick's case, at least a week, so it's not like he is missing a day or two.

I'm sure in an accounting office, the end of the month, quarter & year are not the best times to be taking off. (My sister works in a small accounting office so I'm going by what she says.) Once again, wonder what Derick's coworkers are feeling since they'll have to do his work too.

I'm also thinking about Jill going in "her condition" (as my mother would say. Lol). I wonder how far they are away from a doctor or hospital if one is needed. I know there are pregnant women in El Salvador, but I'm sure their care is way behind ours, especially if something drastic happened like an early birth.

Even tho the Duggar girls can do anything in flip-flops, I hope they will wear sturdier shoes while they are there.

  • Love 1
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Remember the production assistant who was pretty close to her due date and went to Asia with the family then popped out the baby over there? A lot of things don't add up on that one, like how the airline let her on a plane.

Maybe they flew her in duggar style. And by duggar style I mean John David.

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I can't believe he's taking more time off -- why isn't he saving vacation days until the baby is born? I hope he's not planning to leave his job and hop on the TLC bandwagon.

 

We really don't know enough about Derick at this point to know how he would feel about Jill's clingy behavior. I think -- at least for now -- it's all fun and new to him. I think he has some issues about his own family and really liked the idea of becoming part of a large, close-knit family. The reality of what that entails may very well wear on him in a year or two.

  • Love 2
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I do not see anything odd about having lunch with your husband. They are still getting to know each other and Jill will be at home after the baby comes. Or not.

Imagine if Derick had a career that requires long hours and lots of travel

I saw on another site that Jill and Derrick are on their way with the rest of the Duggars to El Salvador for their annual Christmas trip.

With what money?

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So now Derick is taking time off from work yet again to go to El Salvador? Isn't that a Duggar family project? Jill is now a Dillard and he has a job. I wonder how long it will take WalMart to realize that Derick has a "par time job" with them in his eyes? I don't believe the workforce has changed that much lately that they would put up with an employee continually requesting time off paid or not, to travel the country, be on TV, give interviews, and now travel internationally for a personal matter.

Something is really wrong here.

Another note: What the heck is wrong with Jill? She is expecting a child and she is going to a foreign country? To do what? Give toys, candy and read scripture to people who do not speak English? Can she read in Spanish? I doubt it.

I don't think Derick's fellow co-workers appreciate his habitual absence. One only accumulates "so much" PTOs in a year and he has barely been employed one year.

Resentment will take hold soon at work. I wonder how he manages to keep up with his workload and what is the quality of is work with all those distractions and interruptions.

Another issue is: they are married and are still "getting to know one another"? Normally, yes, a couple learns how to live together daily, but with this family, they really are getting to know one another and it's sad because they are already married....not a good time to "get to know each other", IMO.

BTW, I thought El Salvador already was a primarily Christian country.. I believe they are catholic??? which, BTW, BEN, is a Christian religion. Why are they wasting their time?

  • Love 3
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Imagine if Derick had a career that requires long hours and lots of travel

You got that right. My brother-in-law is in sales & travels about 3 out of 4 weeks. He works at home when he's in town. I could just see Jilly interrupting Derick 25x day if he worked at home.

I also know of a family who lives in Pennsylvania. He works in DC & has condo in Maryland he stays in during the week & goes home on weekends. (They tried to move family to Maryland but had trouble selling house in PA.) This is just a way of life for some families.

  • Love 1
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Remember the production assistant who was pretty close to her due date and went to Asia with the family then popped out the baby over there? A lot of things don't add up on that one, like how the airline let her on a plane.

Maybe they flew her in duggar style. And by duggar style I mean John David.

I guess if they flew Duggar Air, they wouldn't have needed clearance from her OB/Gyn. Think it's an airline's rules about not flying during later pregnancy. Don't know if Jill's pregnancy fits in these parameters. I remember when Anna was pregnant I think with Marcus & they flew to Florida to visit the Kellers, they said it was cleared by her Dr. I, too, don't know how the very pregnant production gal was allowed to fly to Asia even if it was cleared by her Dr. It's not like they could have made an emergency landing over the water if something happened.

And like someone else posted, why did the Dillards even need to go just to pass out candy & pamphlets.

  • Love 1
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Walmart is getting some small degree of publicity from having Derick work for them. They may feel it makes up for the tiume off. Just speculating, though.

Also I kind of feel Derick has already jumped on the TLC bandwagon with both feet.

Edited by flyingdi
  • Love 1
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I'm starting to wonder what kind of arrangement Derick has with Wal-Mart. He certainly hasn't been there long enough to score vacation time during the prime holiday season. It seems like he gets an awful lot of time off for a guy who is at the bottom of the totem pole. My sister is the comptroller for a large construction company, and the end of the year is a crazy busy time for her department. The accountants can't just take time off willy nilly whenever they feel like it. I guess Derick has acquired the Duggar trait of letting everyone else pick up his slack...

Edited by maraleia
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  • Love 4
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The majority of you are so much more judgemental about the duggars than they are of others anyways

Except no one here works for a hate group (Josh) or actively tries to limit the rights of others (Michelle). Every word of criticism the Duggars have received, they have brought on themselves. By virtue of the fact that they are public figures who happen to have a t.v. show. Derick has decided to be a part of the Fame Whore for Jesus parade. The fact that he takes so much time off from work is open to speculation.

  • Love 11
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I actually don't think there is anything odd about Derick's time off. I think he probably gets off three weeks a year (that's pretty standard now for a white collar job) and he has been there a full year (since January ) so he would be using it all before the end of the year, as many companies don't allow you to carry it over. To my mind he's take off one week for his honeymoon, perhaps a week here (and will likely work the week between Christmas and New Year) and a few random days, including when he and Jill went to NYC. He probably used the other days to be with his mom during her illness.

Doesn't seem that big of a deal.

  • Love 3
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The thing is, Derrick hasn't been there a full year; he's got another month to go.  He's taking vacation he hasn't actually earned yet, I suspect; one source states that for a full-time worker in management at WalMart you don't get any vacation your first year, and you earn one week of vacation a year (maximum of four weeks) per year worked.  Which sounds about right for other places like that where I've worked--certainly we didn't get vacation time before the first full year we had worked.  I did on occasion tell companies that I already had vacations planned before I was hired and got that OK'd before I accepted their offer, but I doubt that Derrick would have known about all this traveling a year ago when he was applying.

  • Love 3
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At the companies I have worked for, vacation is accrued during the year -- a few hours per pay period -- for a total of x weeks per year. Usually, it is two weeks for the first couple of years, and then three for the next few years, and so on. Perhaps Derick worked part-time for Wal-Mart when he was at school and has some seniority.

 

Kathy was a Sr VP(?) in the accounting department, so he may be getting favorable treatment because of that association. I agree with other posters that he may well be creating some bad feelings with his co-workers by taking so much time off -- earned or not.

 

The other thing is that vacation is provided so that workers can rest and re-charge. In the past year, Derick has returned from Nepal, gotten engaged and married, dealt with his mother's serious illness, discovered he will soon be a father, and dealt with the loss of his grandmother. Obviously, I don't know him, but for most people a little down-time would be necessary about now. I find it hard to believe that he is settling in and becoming an asset to the team with this non-stop chaos in his personal life.

  • Love 2
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Kathy was a consultant at Walmart. Probably made her a contract worker so she could come and go as she pleased depending on her assignment. Wondering if Derick has the same arrangement?? But as a contract worker you don't get corporate benefits right?

 

I haven't worked in the corporate world for 19 years so things might have changed but when I did work I earned vacation time based on how many hours a week I worked.

 

IDK but I do agree that Derick has warmed up to the famewhoring quite nicely. He hasn't/isn't shy about it at all.

Edited by Fuzzysox
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He may also have negotiated more vacation time for a lower salary. I have a friend who works up in the management in Wal-Mart and she tells me that as bad as the labor practices are for the stores, the white collar positions are well paid and receive good benefits. They don't want high turn over in those positions, because they don't want other companies learning their business practices or drawing away their talent.

So I think we are at a quandary, not knowing what Derick's package looks like. I can at least make the argument that he hasn't a compensation package that much different from any other person for his age and status, while others can argue differently, but we have no way of saying who is correct.

But I don't see that he has taken MORE than three weeks vacation - and it would be at that point that I'm at a loss.

  • Love 2
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Well, I think we'll know soon enough if Derick is a full time Walmart employee with all the benefits that come with that or on a contract with no corporate benefits but is a possible explanation of the flexibility. When Jill gives birth if its in a hospital then he's a full time Walmart employee but if a home birth he's contract employee with no benefits... ;^)

  • Love 1
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Walmart's fiscal years ends January 31 this year (end of fiscal January). Most retailers don't run on the Jan 1- Dec 31 calendar, it's based off of fiscal months. Jan 31 happens to be a Saturday this year and retail calendars usually end on a Saturday and I've never seen one end in December. January, February, I've even heard of August, be never December for a major retailer. I was in retail management for years and the fiscal year could be be anywhere from the last couple of days of January to the first couple days of February, what ever the correlating Saturday of the week was for the majority of the retailers I worked for. Also, sometimes the year gains a week and is 53 fiscal weeks instead of 52. Yes, it's Walmart's busy selling season and no way in hell is a store manager getting vacation time, but Derick's busy season really isn't the same in the accounting department and may or may not have black out dates like store management. It would make much more sense he's not allowed to take vacation time from say Jan 4 (looking at a calendar I'd guess that's when their January fiscal month starts) until whenever it would take after all the end of the fiscal reports are done in February. 

 

It's also possible their vacation schedule doesn't run the same as the calendar year either. The last retail company I worked for, our vacation was May 1- April 30, even though our fiscal was Feb-Jan, and we could borrow against days we hadn't quite earned yet. Say you wanted a week of vacation in August, you obviously hadn't earned a full week quite yet, but you could take it and "pay it back" as it was earned. If you quit or got fired before you could earn it back, they would deduct it out of your final pay. 

  • Love 2
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For me it's just crazy how even when the Duggars (well, Josh and Derick) have normal jobs, they don't seem that invested in them or fearful that their gallivanting and time off could hurt their job security. If FRC and Wal-Mart are that flexible with their employees, that's great; in my experience that isn't the norm (I'm sure mileage varies).

  • Love 1
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Don't know if it has been mentioned and I missed it but maybe Derrick takes leave without pay. If he gets TLC $$ that could offset his reduced salary. If all this is negotiated up front and his responsibilities are assigned with this in mind then maybe that's how it works. His coworkers would know this - at least his supervisors would. I'm guessing coworker reactions would run the gamut from don't care to mighty pissed.

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A lot of young people seem to have more fluid boundaries that previous generations. I don't know many who, assuming they have white collar desk jobs, don't manage to send out a few texts/FB statuses at work. I'm sure Derick is able to do so with Jill just fine. Three or four times a day, a few sentences? That doesn't even seem that excessive anymore given the way social media works, and I doubt he works strictly 9-5, but a more nebulous 8-6 type of job that depends on getting his work completed, thus a lunch break with his wife is not that odd.

 

I guess I don't understand why so many people are SO OK with numerous casual phone calls, e-mails and texts during the work day now.  Before computers and cell phones made it so easy to do [and so easy to conceal], interruptions from home were largely limited to real emergencies.  And sometimes urgent needs. "Honey, please stop and pick up a gallon of milk on your way home..."  Or latchkey children would call their working moms to let them know they'd arrived home from school safely.  Now just because we CAN do it, many people think nothing of conducting lengthy, numerous and needless phone calls/texting during their workdays.  How productive and efficient - not to mention accurate - are workers who do that?  And is turnabout fair play?  Think about it this way.  How many of us would like the boss calling us at home or texting 5-6 times in an evening with tidbits that could very well wait until the next day at work?  I feel certain that none of us would like it.  At all.

  • Love 12
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I work for the University of Pennsylvania. We have a very good benefit package. I personally couldn't take PTO or sick time for the first 4 months I worked (July to Oct in 2011) but I still accrued it. Ours is generous, we get 1.25 days a month of each PTO/Sick time. So if I were Derick, it wouldn't be unusually to take a week in June for the wedding, a few days here & there & now a week or longer to go to El Salvador. All we had to do is put in for PTO as soon as it was nailed down & it's never been a problem for me. We do need to have our PTO around or close to xmas put in during Sept/Oct, but that's it. YMMV though.

It's possible Walmart has a similar accrual, x days a month rather than a set amount of weeks, so he'd have accrued a lot by now, even if he'd taken time for the wedding & days here & there. It doesn't seem like he's taken a huge amount of time to be honest.

  • Love 2
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I guess I don't understand why so many people are SO OK with numerous casual phone calls, e-mails and texts during the work day now. Before computers and cell phones made ibyt so easy to do [and so easy to conceal], interruptions from home were largely limited to real emergencies.

I agree with you. One office Manager in the busy Drs. Office where I worked threatened to take away cell phones til the end of the day if she saw people on them instead of working. (The culprits had already been warned numerous times.) We could also be monitored by the IT Dept in our Administration office to see what sites we were visiting on our computers. Some retail sites were blocked because people were visiting them during work time, not lunch time, when we were allowed. I know this sounds like a Big Brother thing but it all came about from the ones that abused it. After all, we were there to work.

My sister (in a small accounting office) has a new co-worker that has been there approx 2 weeks. She is on her cell phone more than she should be even when the big boss is in same room. She has also shared with them every detail of her life. I guess I'm from the older generation that valued my job & wouldn't do anything to jeopardize it. I was there to work, not to email or text my friends or check my Facebook which all weren't available til the last years I worked.

Like others have said, Derick works with numbers & has to stay focused. Can't imagine Jilly Muffin texting him to tell him that she is going to Aldis & picking up James & Joy on the way. I think that can wait to be shared when he gets home.

  • Love 6
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I don't think anyone knows how many t/m's Jill sends Derrick every day or how often they "do lunch". I may be older but I still remember what it's like to be a young newlywed with lots to talk about. :-p

Is Derick is doing this while working? Where is the link please.

Edited by Jellybeans
  • Love 3
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I also know quite a few people with excellent health insurance who did a home birth even though it cost them more out of pocket than a hospital birth would have. For many, the cost is not the reason they are having the home birth with the midwife, so I would never base a family's income or benefits package on that.

  • Love 1
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I also know quite a few people with excellent health insurance who did a home birth even though it cost them more out of pocket than a hospital birth would have. For many, the cost is not the reason they are having the home birth with the midwife, so I would never base a family's income or benefits package on that.

I get that and my comment above was on the overwhelming amount of homebirths in the Quiverful community. For most of them they don't have health insurance so home births are often wrapped up with a holy martyr's bow. I was just making light of a situation by using Jill's pregnancy that in reality is a sad economic one for many.

  • Love 1
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There's plenty of couples who think nothing of texting or calling each other 20 times a day while at work. Certainly not unique to Jill and Derick, if it's even true or remotely close as to the amount of times repeatedly implied in this thread. As for the lunch dates, there's 3 lunch date at work Instagram posts on Jill's account. Not exactly excessive for newlyweds and they did look to be in a break room area and not at his deck annoying others. 

  • Love 6
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The first doctors' office I worked for had a strict no phones policy. If you were seen using it anywhere outside the breakroom you got a warning. Repeat offenders had their phones put in the coordinator's office til she left for the day (or the employee did). The worst were usually the girls who had the desk jobs like referrals or insurance liasons, because it was easier to conceal at a desk. When you're a clinical MA running around doing urine dips, rooming patients, drawing up injections, responding to online office tasks, doing training modules, and giving out lab results you really don't have a ton of time to mess with your phone. The only times I ever could check mine aside from my lunch break was when (if) I had time to go pee. I think I pulled out my phone a couple times as a calculator on the clock...but I wasn't standing there texting anyone.

 

The last 2 offices I worked in were more relaxed, but I still kept it covert cos I'm not an asshole who wants my boss(es) thinking I'm screwing off on the job. But when you're in the office basement hunting down 5 year old medical charts all alone texting a couple friends helps it not feel so creepy. And I was always welcome to use Pandora, provided I played stations with little to no f-bombs. Working in the back office had its perks.

 

But anyway, a company like Walmart doesn't seem to be very understanding of the employees and their families and all that jazz. Or at least on the retail level. I imagine that their corporate people are treated better, but who knows. Whoever said Derick might take unpaid leave for TLC obligations is probably right. There's no way he's so irreplaceable that he could have negotiated that much time off with pay. They're also probably pretty lenient because Derick is married to a Duggar and they have that wholesome public image places like Walmart eat right up. They want to be associated with "good people" like that. So they probably let him get away with more than the average college grad who just got done doing a couple years of missionary work. This is probably his first real job too, so he hit a jackpot. With JB, Jill, and Walmart. Lucky bastard.

Edited by fliptopbox
  • Love 1
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I don't think anyone knows how many t/m's Jill sends Derrick every day or how often they "do lunch". I may be older but I still remember what it's like to be a young newlywed with lots to talk about. :-p

Is Derick is doing this while working? Where is the link please.

 

I remember the newlywed days too. But that doesn't make it right to use worktime for non-urgent or non-emergency interruptions, casual talk etc. That's why God invented lunches, breaks, evenings, weekends and vacations. Worktime SHOULD be devoted to work.

 

PS - don't know whether the Dillards are doing a lot, a little or none of this at all.  Odds are they are doing some, if only because of their ages.  Texting is as normal as breathing to most people under 25-30. But that is truly between them - and Derick's supervisor.  My point is that in general, people now regularly communicate during their workdays about a lot of mundane, non-urgent matters, taking time away from what they're being paid to do. Ninety percent of these things could - and should - wait. And many of the people who receive reminders or warnings to reduce this behavior actually feel put upon by their supervisors. The bottom line is that workers are being paid to do their work WHILE AT work, not to manage their family and personal lives.   

Edited by NausetGirl
  • Love 4
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I'm assuming he's doing something like entry level work with payroll, which would be appropriate for a college graduate with an accounting degree. While he probably works an 8 hour day, his time on the job is likely more ambiguous depending on his workload. It probably closer to a nine to ten hour day all told, by the time he factors in his breaks and lunch. As he isn't hourly, assuming he arrives at work on time, doesn't leave early every day, doesn't take excessive vacation, completes his work, and occasionally helps out when other people take third vacations (ie, typical office etiquette 101) I really don't think anyone is going to be upset that he reads and writes emails/ texts for ten minutes in the morning and ten minutes in the afternoon and has lunch with his wife once a week.

I just am not seeing the problem here.

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I wonder if there's any chance that they will return to the same orphanages that they've been to before. Does anyone remember the one teen girl that Jill became very attached to, the one who told her that she wished that the Duggars would take her home with them? How long ago was this? It would be truly amazing if Jill and Derrick decided to adopt this girl although the process would probably take so long, she would be an adult by the time the paperwork was completed. 

  • Love 2
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It would be truly amazing if Jill and Derrick decided to adopt this girl although the process would probably take so long, she would be an adult by the time the paperwork was completed.

 

If I were in charge of this orphanage and Derick and (very pregnant) Jill came to me about adopting this girl, I would assume that they were looking for free child-care. 

 

Plus, if this girl were to be adopted, I would hope that it would be into a household that could provide her with a better life. If she were adopted into a Duggar household, she would receive no education, be forced to do housework and care for children 24 hours a day, and eventually be married off to become a baby-making machine. How is that better than her life in El Salvadore?

  • Love 10
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I'm assuming he's doing something like entry level work with payroll, which would be appropriate for a college graduate with an accounting degree. While he probably works an 8 hour day, his time on the job is likely more ambiguous depending on his workload. It probably closer to a nine to ten hour day all told, by the time he factors in his breaks and lunch. As he isn't hourly, assuming he arrives at work on time, doesn't leave early every day, doesn't take excessive vacation, completes his work, and occasionally helps out when other people take third vacations (ie, typical office etiquette 101) I really don't think anyone is going to be upset that he reads and writes emails/ texts for ten minutes in the morning and ten minutes in the afternoon and has lunch with his wife once a week.

I just am not seeing the problem here.

We don't know about his work, lunch dates or vacation but it is fun to speculate and snark about these topics since we don't have new episodes to snark on. Does anyone know when the new season starts? I'm sure we'll have plenty to snark on when Baby Dilly arrives-- where he was born at, the Duggar Circus Bus arriving for the first germ laden visit. As in the past, Boob will be holding Dilly saying that even tho he is the 3rd grandson, he is the greatest because he is the beloved son of my favorite daughter, Jilly Muffin and why don't you name him Jim-Bob? MEchelle will be screeching how precious he is & how great it is to have another grandchild. Poor Cathy & Dan will have to wait their turn to visit, probably the day after since the Duggar visit will have worn Jill & Derick out. God I hope not.
  • Love 5
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If I were in charge of this orphanage and Derick and (very pregnant) Jill came to me about adopting this girl, I would assume that they were looking for free child-care.

Plus, if this girl were to be adopted, I would hope that it would be into a household that could provide her with a better life. If she were adopted into a Duggar household, she would receive no education, be forced to do housework and care for children 24 hours a day, and eventually be married off to become a baby-making machine. How is that better than her life in El Salvadore?

Plus she might have some sort of trauma. Which requires therapy

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I guess I don't understand why so many people are SO OK with numerous casual phone calls, e-mails and texts during the work day now.  Before computers and cell phones made it so easy to do [and so easy to conceal], interruptions from home were largely limited to real emergencies.  And sometimes urgent needs. "Honey, please stop and pick up a gallon of milk on your way home..."  Or latchkey children would call their working moms to let them know they'd arrived home from school safely.  Now just because we CAN do it, many people think nothing of conducting lengthy, numerous and needless phone calls/texting during their workdays.  How productive and efficient - not to mention accurate - are workers who do that?  And is turnabout fair play?  Think about it this way.  How many of us would like the boss calling us at home or texting 5-6 times in an evening with tidbits that could very well wait until the next day at work?  I feel certain that none of us would like it.  At all.

Time theft.

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It's because of this that our days are much longer and the boundaries between work and home life are blurred. What used to be an eight hour day from 9-5 that you left at the office is almost always now a ten hour day with texts and email coming from work at any hour expecting a quick response. Most employers ( reasonable managers) allow some personal overlap on the other side rather than the hard boundary of when you leave, you are incommunicado.

Edited by GEML
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I wonder if there's any chance that they will return to the same orphanages that they've been to before. Does anyone remember the one teen girl that Jill became very attached to, the one who told her that she wished that the Duggars would take her home with them? How long ago was this? It would be truly amazing if Jill and Derrick decided to adopt this girl although the process would probably take so long, she would be an adult by the time the paperwork was completed. 

 

It would take several years to adopt from El Salvador, even if she were young enough to be adopted at this point.  I think if you don't start the process before the kid is a teenager chances are you won't be able to adopt.  And that's if you can in the first place; it's pretty difficult for Americans to adopt in that country, to the best of my knowledge.

 

She also may have parents or other family in the area who simply can't care for her and would be reluctant to leave. 

 

And I thought it seemed like she saw Jill as more of a peer than a parental figure, which might make it awkward. 

 

It would be nice if they'd put their money where their mouth is and actually adopt one of these "precious blessings" who is truly alone, but knowing that they won't be able to bring home a baby or toddler will likely take away interest for a lot of Duggars.  They'd have to work to teach the kid English/learn Spanish!  They'd have to allow for things like therapy to help the child adjust to their drastically different new life!  The child would likely need outside help to catch up with their education!  Real academic help, not some nice lady from the neighborhood. 

 

I can't imagine them actually doing any of that. 

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It would take several years to adopt from El Salvador, even if she were young enough to be adopted at this point. I think if you don't start the process before the kid is a teenager chances are you won't be able to adopt. And that's if you can in the first place; it's pretty difficult for Americans to adopt in that country, to the best of my knowledge.

She also may have parents or other family in the area who simply can't care for her and would be reluctant to leave.

And I thought it seemed like she saw Jill as more of a peer than a parental figure, which might make it awkward.

It would be nice if they'd put their money where their mouth is and actually adopt one of these "precious blessings" who is truly alone, but knowing that they won't be able to bring home a baby or toddler will likely take away interest for a lot of Duggars. They'd have to work to teach the kid English/learn Spanish! They'd have to allow for things like therapy to help the child adjust to their drastically different new life! The child would likely need outside help to catch up with their education! Real academic help, not some nice lady from the neighborhood.

I can't imagine them actually doing any of that.

I hope the Duggars never adopt. That poor kid would have even more trauma. And what if they start acting out? Will the Duggars teach that adopted child about their culture? What if their adopted child expresses she wants to meet and find her birth family? JimChelle doesn't parent

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