Jill, Derick & the Kids: Moving On!!

[Quof]

I'd imagine the same group of volunteers who set everything up also cleaned up

 

 

My mother called me 24 hours before my best friend's wedding to ask when I was arriving (from 150 miles away), because the tables needed to be set up in the church hall for the reception.  I said "I just got my nails done for my role as Maid of Honor, the bride and groom both have fathers and brothers and cousins, and I'll see you at the rehearsal dinner this evening."  After the reception, it seemed clear I was expected to help clean up as well.  Hell, no.

[starfire]

LazyToaster, on 02 Nov 2014 - 6:34 PM, said:

I'm not getting the hairy brains reference.

I could be wrong as I have never heard that reference before this thread, but I was picturing a "hairy brains" hairstyle as an updo with curls/wispy tendrils. Maybe something like this? Not sure.

[superguard9]

Probably more like this

 

or this

 

I've never heard of the big complicated chignons referred to as hairy brains, but I definitely see why someone might call it that

[PinkSprinkles]

Does Jill remind anyone else of Sue Heck from "The Middle"? 

[floridamom]

Of course, every couple and their families have their financial considerations and their wedding reception traditions, such as church customary help, etc., but we are talking about the Duggars here, who are multi millionaires and could VERY EASILY afford to hire a professional caterer or a local restaurant who offers off-site catering to handle the whole job. Those hundreds of volunteers would have not been necessary and that lady with the clipboard who was walking around pregnant and improperly dressed shouldn't have had to bother. BTW, she looked like she was hiding a torpedo under her spandex shirt, being quite so expectant. Sorry, but I didn't think it looked good. The Duggars really need to reconsider their appearance when trying to do something...they should do it right and keep decorum.

[GEML]

"Do it right" by whom?  Their TV audience?  Or their actual wedding guests?  Because if they put on some big elaborate wedding with professional caterers and didn't use volunteers this could come off in their world is being snotty and hoity toity and above the rest of their world who want and expect to help them and now that they have all this money and a big time television show, they are just all that.  Keep in mind that I don't think the Duggars want to leave that world -- and they definitely want their children to marry into that world.  Alienating that world is a real risk to them - and one that they are already doing as their show brings a lot of unwanted attention.  (I actually doubt that Bill Gothard would have been forced out if the media didn't like him to the Duggars.  After all, everyone knew what was going on, and no one forced him out years ago when all of these original charges were made.)

[NikSac]

 Jill would be able to reuse Jessa's BM's dress for herself. Too bad she's pregnant. 

 

I'm sure they can have Jana alter it.

[WTFFF]

Does Jill remind anyone else of Sue Heck from "The Middle"? 

Definitely.  The first time I watched that show, it took me all of three seconds to think "Oh my god, it's Jill 2.0!"  Both in personality and certain facial features.  There's a certain smile that Jill and Sue both do that makes them look damn near identical. 

[floridamom]

GEML,I didn't mean for the Duggars to go all out and hire a fancy caterer or 5 star restaurant to provide the food. They could have had a simple cold buffet with balanced food groups or some appetizers off a menu and it didn't have to break the bank. There are many choices out there and I'm sure no one would have been put off by that "display of wealth" at all, I'm sure they would have appreciated being FED something decent and not all sweets, sodas, and chips that just don't mesh well in the stomach.

I doubt the average fundy family routinely invites 1500 people to their children's wedding so some help from friends and church groups is appreciated by the families who really can't consider any caterer at all; for the cost would be prohibitive to them and they don't have to bother so many people for so much physical effort and time.

[GEML]

But again, I think all the people that mattered to the Duggars as friends went back to the house and WERE fed.  All the people who were more polite invites were given what is, in this culture, a traditional southern (small s) wedding reception.  I'm not seeing the problem.  And I'm also betting that almost all of the help came from the people who wanted to give it -- otherwise they wouldn't have been there.  Some may not have been able to afford a gift, so they're help was their gift.  That's not all that unusual, actually.  I hear a lot of people here talk about how cheated they would feel, but I really don't think that many people who were actually AT THE WEDDING would have felt that way.

 

[superguard9]

http://instagram.com/p/u8A9tXmCWq/

 

either Jill posted from Derick's account, or the brainwashing has kicked in

[mimionthebeach]

http://instagram.com/p/u8A9tXmCWq/

 

either Jill posted from Derick's account, or the brainwashing has kicked in

But he used the word "creativity" ...? That's considered a character flaw in the TTH.

[floridamom]

"People that mattered" as friends to the Duggars.....why would one invite 1500+ people if only 300 or so were the ones they actually knew and mattered to them? Sorry, I respectfully disagree. They should have invited the 300-350 "who mattered" to them and had one smaller, but nicer reception.

[GEML]

Eh, I had lots of people at my wedding that didn't matter to me but mattered to my parents, my grandparents, the churches we were involved it, etc. I totally get it. But some people don't.

[Higgins]

You don't attend a wedding for the food, right? They served a snack which from what GEML says is customary for their culture. I don't see he problem.

[Barb23]

http://instagram.com/p/u8A9tXmCWq/

either Jill posted from Derick's account, or the brainwashing has kicked in

James is wearing sweat pants/athletic pants. Wow! Didn't think they were allowed to wear them as normal clothes. Didn't Michelle call them a costume in the running episode?

[Barb23]

"People that mattered" as friends to the Duggars.....why would one invite 1500+ people if only 300 or so were the ones they actually knew and mattered to them? Sorry, I respectfully disagree. They should have invited the 300-350 "who mattered" to them and had one smaller, but nicer reception.

I'm with you! As posted before, how much of the church reception food was thrown away? I'm sure alot, probably most of the melted root beer floats were. Just a waste of money & the people's time that made them.

Edited to add: After my wedding & reception, my parents had family & close friends back to their house. It was in no way the "real" reception since my husband & I had a full sit down meal reception for all our guests. I think my mom served chips & dip. It was just to be with family & friends we don't see too much. My husband & I didn't stop by since we had a long drive ahead of us to our honeymoon.

Edited November 4, 2014 by Barb23

[GEML]

We actually had a buffet reception and ended everything by six and then drove six hours to Canada. Because we were twenty, broke and well, twenty! :)

To me the only question that matters is if the guests at the wedding felt cheated. I don't know how any of us would ever know, but given that four months later Jessa had 1000 people show up at hers and people are pretty good about not releasing photos or reporting details, I'd guess that people are happy to be there.

Edited November 4, 2014 by GEML

[NikSac]

Eh, I had lots of people at my wedding that didn't matter to me but mattered to my parents, my grandparents, the churches we were involved it, etc. I totally get it. But some people don't.

 

Yeah, we tried to do the whole "only if we know you and have seen you in the last year" thing at ours then we got the phone call about a week beforehand about how we must have "lost" a few invitations in the mail because "so and so" didn't get theirs. This must be seriously magnified with the Duggars. I wish they didn't have to deal with all that extra stress. It almost makes melty root beer floats with a side of pickles more understandable.

[Chai]

Probably more like this

 

or this

 

I've never heard of the big complicated chignons referred to as hairy brains, but I definitely see why someone might call it that

LOL! Me too!

[MarysWetBar]

I kinda think i like hairy brains :)

[Darknight]

You don't attend a wedding for the food, right? They served a snack which from what GEML says is customary for their culture. I don't see he problem.

But they wanted tons of gifts sent to them. At least feed your guests. The Duggars could've had finger food like sandwiches or a nice fruit salad with a side. Not junk food with a tiny pieces of cake and hot root bear being eaten in the parking lot

[Barb23]

And some tables & chairs.

[BitterApple]

I'm with you! As posted before, how much of the church reception food was thrown away? I'm sure alot, probably most of the melted root beer floats were. Just a waste of money & the people's time that made them.

 

I said the exact same thing on another thread. My perspective may be skewed because I don't care for sweets, but there is really nothing at Jill's reception I would have eaten except a few bites of cake. Also, if I was there with children I wouldn't have let them fill up on crap just to deal with tummyaches and the inevitable blood sugar crash later on in the day. 

 

Based on the comments I've read from people who are familiar with Fundie weddings, guests know not to expect a full meal, but I'm betting a good chunk of people left the reception early when it was apparent the Duggars weren't even serving halfway decent finger food.

[GEML]

I actually think a lot of the registries were for fans, not wedding guests. One thing to keep in mind - the Duggars not only make decent money themselves, but they make a LOT of money for a bunch of other people associated with the production company and TLC. No reason for those folks not to send nice gifts to their cash cow, and it might as well be something that the couple wants.

[floridamom]

After what I read of Kirk Cameron's account of the after party at the Duggar house for the "people who counted", they did NOT feed them. They were invited over for volleyball, campfire singing and dessert. ( What, MORE sugar?) You would think that they could have purchased a few trays of cheese spread finger sandwiches and chicken salad sandwiches from the WalMart Deli and derickdillard could have gotten them the employee discount to boot!

I also am of the opinion that the rehearsal dinner WAS hijacked by the Duggars as planned all along..as Michelle should have shut up and sat down letting someone from the Dillard family act as host/hostess in Cathy Byrum's place and LET IT BE THEIR EVENT...Michelle, Mistress of Ceremonies "announced" that it was their event, yet failed to act accordingly...save those stupid video re-enactments for YOUR side of the family's event, Duggars. This was a Dillard affair. Be a gracious G.U.E.S.T.

I also believe that the reason Kelly Bates wore that awful dress better than Meechelle is because she is taller than Michelle and our fearless leader needed a petite size. She obviously wore a regular sized dress and it simply wasn't proportioned to her height...it seemed just "too long", the jetty bust was also "out of whack" on her. I think Michelle lost all fashion sense when she left cheerleading.

[GEML]

Well, I'm not going to base anything on one Kirk Cameron post of a few words. And he seemed happy enough about it.

[Ripley68]

I have been to several weddings where there was no "real" food offered, and definitely not enough chairs.  Unless it's an evening wedding, a full meal is not expected.  Saying that, I firmly believe you feed the people who come to your wedding.   Seems like most of the weddings I've been to that didn't  have a sit down dinner (buffet or served) were Baptist ceremonies.

[Foghorn Leghorn]

I too think some sort of food should have been available.  They could have had sandwiches and punch and a slice of cake as a thanks for joining us and for your gift (in all likelihood).  Both Jill and Jessa showed their age by what they served.  And if you were lucky enough to be invited back to the house then put out the hot/cold table as they already have a restaurant style serving bar at the house I am pretty sure.  And those volunteers who just wanted to help could have organized some sort of potluck.  

[abseedee]

On Pickles and Hairspray there is a picture of guys tending hamburgers on grills at the after party so dessert wasn't the only food provided. 

Edited November 4, 2014 by abseedee

[ramble]

I find it so interesting to read the various expectations of weddings. I grew up Southern Baptist in Arkansas & I can count the number of receptions with dinner I've gone to on one finger. Cake, punch, nuts & fruit in the church's fellowship hall or gym being the norm. The Duggars having ice cream is new to me, as is a wedding get together after the reception. The hanging out & extra food actually reminds me more of what we do for funerals.

[Rhondinella]

Ok, wedding food talk is taking over the thread.  Here's what I'd like to do:

 

If you are going to post something that is ONLY about the wedding itself (hairstyles, food, how much money was spent, what the bride/groom/mothers wore, the vows, etc.) please take that to the wedding episode thread.  I'd like to keep this thread for direct discussion of Derick and Jill now that they are married.

 

I know it can be tricky to know where the line is, but basically if you're not going to say anything directly about Jill or Derick, only a comment about the wedding arrangements themselves, don't post here.  

[Zahdii]

What time was the wedding?  None of my siblings provided food, we couldn't afford it.  So the weddings were scheduled at around 2 in the afternoon and the reception was short with cake served and bowls of nuts and mints scattered around.  Everyone knew to eat first, sit through the wedding, congregate and snack at the reception, then go for dinner later.

 

My own wedding was small, so everyone was invited back to the backyard of the relative with the biggest, nicest, backyard and we had a barbeque with the cake cutting there.

 

ETA, sorry, I was writing while the mod was posting.

Edited November 4, 2014 by Zahdii

[GEML]

Ok, I have something to add.  I was curious about Derrick's job, so I did some poking on the Wal-Mart website.  My husband has a pretty uppity up job with a Fortune 50 Company, and my sister and her husband are accountants, so I knew a bit about what to look for.  What's interesting is that nearly every job, while it doesn't require an MBA, requests one, and given the market conditions right now, that wouldn't be hard to find.  Even if you were just doing payroll.  Keep in mind that Bentonville is just down the road from the University of Arkansas and would have direct access to a whole slew of new business graduates every year.  

So this was a job that Derrick was able to get with only a BA, while he was doing a mission in Nepal, which means he either interviewed for it before he left for Nepal, or he interviewed for it via Skype, which would be, again, a really generous thing for an employer to do, given that he/she has dozens of newly minted legions of graduates waiting in the hallway.  I'm guessing that Cathy or someone she knew called in some personal favors, and not that Derrick isn't qualified to do the work, this was not simply a matter of someone rising through a resume power on his own and being the best simply on merit.  (Then again, few people do manage to pull that off.  That's not a slam on Derrick, or on his mother for pulling any string she has.)

I'm guessing that he knows this is a good job, and it's a job he needs to keep.  And I'm also guessing that they will be able to explain this to Jill in a very real and meaningful way.  She's young, and she doesn't have much experience to counter the world in which she grew up, but she isn't stupid.  I'll be shocked if we see Jim Bob asking Derrick to leave, and Derrick actually doing so.

[floridamom]

I agree with you, GEML, Derick's job had something to do with Cathy's long association with WalMart...not that he's not qualified, but he might have not stood out in the flood of resumes' that they get every year anonymously on their own. I certainly don't want any of this speculation here to affect Derick's ability to keep his job as long as WalMart is pleased with his work performance, he should be left alone. I hope none of his supervisors, etc., feel the need to lay him off or anything.

I'm not too confident in Jill's cooperation though. She has been showing signs of being ultra controlling, used to only HER way of growing up and already has given Derick the "correct hair spray" to use, has shaved him, cut his hair FOR him, the way she wants it to look, always has her hand on his thigh during interviews and has already displayed her displeasure at the number of hours he must be away every day because he has to go TO his job. She is a surprise package, that one.

Zahdii, there you go, your family couldn't afford it....not so with the Duggars. They should have supplied some decent appetizer type foods, not all sugar filled children's snack food. You also made clear that the guests should eat before or after the ceremony on their own...that's understandable, but this family, gives $10,000 this week to a political campaign, but they don't have the cash for some finger sandwiches at their daughter's wedding? Provide some protein here, folks,

Sorry, I just read the thread comment now.

[NausetGirl]

I agree with you, GEML, Derick's job had something to do with Cathy's long association with WalMart...not that he's not qualified, but he might have not stood out in the flood of resumes' that they get every year anonymously on their own. I certainly don't want any of this speculation here to affect Derick's ability to keep his job as long as WalMart is pleased with his work performance, he should be left alone. I hope none of his supervisors, etc., feel the need to lay him off or anything.

I'm not too confident in Jill's cooperation though. She has been showing signs of being ultra controlling, used to only HER way of growing up and already has given Derick the "correct hair spray" to use, has shaved him, cut his hair FOR him, the way she wants it to look, always has her hand on his thigh during interviews and has already displayed her displeasure at the number of hours he must be away every day because he has to go TO his job. She is a surprise package, that one.

 

I honestly hope GEML is correct here. I agree that armed with only a BA/BS, Derick probably benefitted from his mother's points, whatever that might be. I also think his job must be fairly basic entry-level accounting work. Nothing management at all, not at this point. But my gut tells me floridamom could well be right in the end. Jill inherited Boob's control freak gene, that is for sure.

Edited November 4, 2014 by NausetGirl

[GEML]

My point is, I'm not sure that Jim Bob has a whole lot to gain at this time by removing Derrick from the Wal-Mart job.  Derrick makes what would be a decent, but not outstanding living, he's probably doing something pretty entry level, but would have the possibility of advancement, but there's no way that Derrick is in ANY position to take over the accounts that Jim Bob has.  Not to put too fine a point on it, but Derrick would be in way over his head on some of the trusts and shell corporations and taxes that JB is probably doing (and I don't fault him for that - we make every use of tax loopholes ourselves) and why would frugal JB want to have to shell out thousands of dollars a year to pay Derrick to do something that he can do at Wal-Mart and be paid and get benefits?  Derrick likely gets three weeks vacation time and has weekends free, so he'll be around to tape frequently enough, and he has a job that basically ensures that they will live nearby the rest of their lives. 

I see NO reason why Jim Bob cuts that cord.  Jill can whine all she wants, but let's face it, the men are in charge of the money.

[trimthatfat]

What is Cathy's connection to WalMart?

[toodles]

It isn't about "people helping people". It's about sanitation, respect and common courtesy for the next wedding party who uses that bridal suite in the church. I wouldn't want to use a bridal suite that had human hair in the carpeting, would you? That's just disrespectful of the Duggars and shows no consideration of the janitorial staff who had to vacuum hair out of the carpeting and to the next bridal party who probably goes barefoot in that room. It wouldn't surprise me if the Duggars also clipped their nails inside the venue and left it for the janitor to clean. Gross and nasty.

It just goes to show that TLC money doesn't buy class.

As for the wedding hair do..I would rather have 'wedding brains' than long, shaggy, unconditioned hair.

Amen to the TLC doesn't buy class comment.  Just look at the Sister Wives.  Their recommitment ceremony was beyond tacky.

 

BTW:  That shaving thing was really gross. 

Edited November 4, 2014 by toodles

[msblossom]

It could be that Derick has a job history with Walmart, as in he may have held a part time stocking position or worked as a cashier or what-have-you when he was in college. Not only that, but families in that community that have a long history with one another may have also come into play and granted some favor in Derick's direction. I know a family from Bentonville and she tells me that the Christian community is very tight there and that everyone knows everyone. I'm not suggesting that Cathy didn't play a part in helping Derick get on there without an MBA, because I think she likely did, but I'm not so sure that's the only reason.

[Jellybeans]

I'm not too confident in Jill's cooperation though. She has been showing signs of being ultra controlling, used to only HER way of growing up and already has given Derick the "correct hair spray" to use, has shaved him, cut his hair FOR him, the way she wants it to look, always has her hand on his thigh during interviews and has already displayed her displeasure at the number of hours he must be away every day because he has to go TO his job. She is a surprise package, that one.

Isn't that what women do, change the brand of soaps, hairsprays, etc... guys really don't care for the most part. And, when I sit with my b/f of 5 years, one of us has a hand on the other. It's affection.

I remember the clip when Jill talked about his hours and I did not interpret it as "displeasure" but as a silly young wife saying he's gone too long for work. She "misses" him. Derrick handled it very well. Remember, she has never experienced teen love.... and she's cycling through all that. At once.

Kind of sad but I hope it works out. Usually it does.

[GEML]

Wal-Mart also has summer internship possibilities.

Believe me, as someone who didn't have access to any personal connections to break into our respective careers, I actually don't knock those who do. I hope all of my husband's and my hard work pays off to make life a little easier for our kids. That's part of how you play the game, and I'm fine with that. Derrick clearly isn't under qualified, so good for him.

[BitterApple]

GEML, I agree that Derick is in no way qualified to handle the Duggars' finances. Between all their income sources, investments, trusts, LLC's (if they have them), properties etc., that requires a big financial firm, CPA's and attorneys. Not to say that Derick isn't smart, just that he's only starting out in his field. 

 

To be fair to guys like Derick and Josh, it's pretty much impossible to get a job nowadays without some sort of inside connection. Sending resumes out by the hundreds is like running on a hamster wheel for four hours. You're exhausted and literally get nowhere. You have to use whatever angle you've got these days.

[NausetGirl]

My point is, I'm not sure that Jim Bob has a whole lot to gain at this time by removing Derrick from the Wal-Mart job.  Derrick makes what would be a decent, but not outstanding living, he's probably doing something pretty entry level, but would have the possibility of advancement, but there's no way that Derrick is in ANY position to take over the accounts that Jim Bob has.  Not to put too fine a point on it, but Derrick would be in way over his head on some of the trusts and shell corporations and taxes that JB is probably doing (and I don't fault him for that - we make every use of tax loopholes ourselves) and why would frugal JB want to have to shell out thousands of dollars a year to pay Derrick to do something that he can do at Wal-Mart and be paid and get benefits?  Derrick likely gets three weeks vacation time and has weekends free, so he'll be around to tape frequently enough, and he has a job that basically ensures that they will live nearby the rest of their lives. 

I see NO reason why Jim Bob cuts that cord.  Jill can whine all she wants, but let's face it, the men are in charge of the money.

 

I really hope you're right, GEML. But I still get one of those "under-the-surface" vibes that Mechelle, from the very beginning of their relationship, has been able to manipulate Boob any way she wants, when she wants. I'm willing to bet bossy Jill can do the same. You know that line about the man being the head of the family and the woman being the neck? And we know the neck can move the head anyway she wants.

Edited November 5, 2014 by NausetGirl

[GEML]

Maybe. But when it comes to money, I'm betting the heads of the men can get pretty bullheaded.

[Jellybeans]

Maybe Derrick got a job at WalMart because he applied for a job there and listed his Mom as a connection. Sometimes things are simple.

[GEML]

The big issue is that he already knew he had the job when he returned from Nepal.  So either he had some sort of really good inside connection, or Wal-Mart made some incredible concession for him and he's some awesome kind of accountant, because you don't hold a job position open for two years or interview candidates via Skype for entry level positions unless there's something else going on.  Playing the odds, he had an in.  And again, nothing wrong with that.  But for all the talk about Jill being unhappy about it, I think Derick, Derick's mother and Jim Bob know he's got a good job and cooler head's will prevail.

Edited November 5, 2014 by GEML

[DamWrite]

Jill is espousing the Duggar party line about courtship vs. dating:

http://www.duggarfamilyblog.com/2014/11/jim-bob-michelles-influence-on-kids.html

 

On another note, she's starting to wear the same type of shirts as Ma Duggar.  The poofy shoulder just doesn't work for me.  If she starts sporting a mullet, then she not only drank the Kool Aid, she took a swim in it.  

[GEML]

Oh that poor girl -- I had the awful morning/noon/and night sickness with my first, and she looks like she's been through the wringer.  Wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy.

[Mariva]

New update from Michelle regarding the newlyweds- http://www.tlc.com/tv-shows/19-kids-and-counting/michelle-duggars-blog/newlyweds-jill-derick.htm

 

I think it’s been a very smooth transition for Jill and Derick. Jill had so much help from her siblings to make the transition, helping her pack up her stuff at our house, moving and unpacking at her new home. They have their schedule already -- they get up and off to work or Jill works on her studies. Sometimes she’ll pop by our place since it’s awfully quiet at her house. She’s so used to studying with noise. It’s really unusual for her to work in total silence.

Michelle wasn't specific but I sure hope she was talking about Jill's midwifery studies and not something else like bible study. Good for Jill for wanting to continue her education if this is true. 

 

On a side note - interesting that Michelle makes no mention of Baby Dilly at all in her blog. I sense an inevitable meltdown coming once Jilly Muffin has her baby...

Edited November 5, 2014 by Mariva