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Jill, Derick & the Kids: Moving On!!


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Shout out to everyone participating in the conversation about Jill’s miscarriage/stillbirth. You’re navigating a difficult topic with respect and thoughtfulness and your contributions are kind, considerate, constructive and informative. 

Thank you. 💚💚

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I also agree that I hope Jill has a lot of boys. Maybe they'll all end up being Dad's buddies and they'll grow up hearing about his time in college, his job and his relationship with his family. Then they'll want to do those things too and will end up like Derick.

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They are showing a wedding shower that the midwife (or is she a doula) threw for her for the moms she helped with birth... I'm not married so I'm not positive about the proper ettiquiette... Im assuming the moms aren't all invited to the wedding (who knows maybe they are) but isn't it consider rude to invite someone to a shower that is not invited to the wedding?

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As someone in accounting, if it comes down to hiring someone with a strong credit history that has used loans intelligently as a wealth building tool and someone who has very little credit history because of a cash only lifestyle, Derek will lose out to the other person, all other things being equal. That may not be fair, as I said above. But knowing how to use credit intelligently is often seen as a short hand sign of self control, as opposed to absolute denial.

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It's also in the Bible that women are supposed to go out in little huts away from people when they have their periods. Now watching then do that would be quite a show, and would likely shock most Americans. Except they don't do that. Because it's pointless and silly. Nor do we make animal sacrifices.

As a Christian who takes the Bible seriously, it's fine to be respectful of Old Testament rules and regulations, but it's more important to remember that the New Testament reminds us that those are not the important aspects of any Christian's life or belief system.

 

Women living in little huts during their period is a Russian Orthodox Christian tradition. It is also observed in some Ultra Orthodox Jewish traditions and in some parts of Ethiopia. It doesn't say that anywhere in the Bible. Good grief...

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They are showing a wedding shower that the midwife (or is she a doula) three her for the moms she helped with birth... I'm not married so I'm not positive about the proper ettiquiette... Im assuming the moms aren't all invited to the wedding (who buyknows maybe they are) but isn't it consider rude to invite someone to a shower that is not invited to the wedding?

I thought it's wedding etiquette for shower guests to be invited to the wedding. I think Vanessa said something at the beginning like the moms wanted to do something nice for Jill so they decided on the shower. (Even tho they might not be invited to the wedding.)

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Women living in little huts during their period is a Russian Orthodox Christian tradition. It is also observed in some Ultra Orthodox Jewish traditions and in some parts of Ethiopia. It doesn't say that anywhere in the Bible. Good grief...

You are correct that the Bible doesn't say little huts. What Leviticus says is that a woman having her period is unclean. You can't even touch her. No one can. She can't sit on anything or that becomes unclean. Her bed is unclean. And only certain rituals can make her and these things clean again.

So it became practice in Old Testament times to put women in huts. You could think of it as a sort of kindness. Better to remain hidden than having to walk around standing all day, or having only a special stool to sit on, and cast out of the marital bed.

(Wry tone) or maybe JB did require this of Michelle and it explains why she preferred to be pregnant. At least that way she could sit down on the couch....

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Of course they sold the news to People Magazine before TLC could make the announcement. Hoping that Mr. Dill Pickle is healthy.

Yup. TLC dumped the "special announcement" that Jerick brought up two weeks ago. Great PR there, Duggars.

 

Edited because the show dumped the highly touted "big announcement" (which was the sex, as I was told it would be) 20 minutes into the NEXT SHOW. The leghumpers were furious. I'm on the west coast, so the show hasn't aired here yet (our HD - Comcast - took viewers off the east coast feed a couple of years ago), so I only know this from people who actually watched the next show and saw the thing. Booties. Big anti-climatic whoop.

Edited by Sew Sumi
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As someone in accounting, if it comes down to hiring someone with a strong credit history that has used loans intelligently as a wealth building tool and someone who has very little credit history because of a cash only lifestyle, Derek will lose out to the other person, all other things being equal. That may not be fair, as I said above. But knowing how to use credit intelligently is often seen as a short hand sign of self control, as opposed to absolute denial.

 

I think that this is a good point given Derick's profession.

 

I have worked in jobs requiring a security clearance. In those situations, one of the reasons for checking credit scores is to determine if a person is under financial stress (someone who might be vulnerable to offers of cash for classified information). People with no credit fall under this classification as well (to a lesser degree). If someone had a large expense (like a major car repair), and didn't have the cash to cover it, and no credit, that would make them vulnerable as well.

 

Some companies also use credit scores as a marker of stability and reliability. People who job hop often have bad credit, while people with good credit are usually making long-term plans and need to keep a job to make regular payments on long-term purchases.

 

As long as Derick stays at WalMart, it won't matter one way or the other, but if he decides to apply to other companies, he could run into trouble (if he decides to follow JBs "advice").

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I think Boob is incredibly financially unsophisticated, which matches how incredibly unsophisticated he is in all other aspects of life so I guess it makes sense. And whether or not you can buy a house with cash depends very much on where you live (for me, it's the San Francisco Bay Area and though we are pretty well off, it would make zero financial sense for us to put everything into buying a house with cash). Boob, of course, thinks he is the epitome of smarts in all things and thus qualified to advise Jill and Derrickdillard. He is wrong about begin the epitome of smarts in anything.

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I think that this is a good point given Derick's profession.

 

I have worked in jobs requiring a security clearance. In those situations, one of the reasons for checking credit scores is to determine if a person is under financial stress (someone who might be vulnerable to offers of cash for classified information). People with no credit fall under this classification as well (to a lesser degree). If someone had a large expense (like a major car repair), and didn't have the cash to cover it, and no credit, that would make them vulnerable as well.

 

Some companies also use credit scores as a marker of stability and reliability. People who job hop often have bad credit, while people with good credit are usually making long-term plans and need to keep a job to make regular payments on long-term purchases.

 

As long as Derick stays at WalMart, it won't matter one way or the other, but if he decides to apply to other companies, he could run into trouble (if he decides to follow JBs "advice").

This is complete and utter BS. My husband holds a ts sci polygraph. and has for decades with NO credit use. We have a home we paid for with cash. We have huge savings and NO CREDIT. He holds high positions in public trust and government agencies  and has his whole career.

 

If you don't live that lifestyle, you have no idea what living credit free is like. We have never been denied anything we need. You don't need credit if you live within your means and in fact, you will build real wealth without paying any interest. So you can all speculate what might happen if you have no credit history, but none of you really know.

Edited by Higgins
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I think Boob is incredibly financially unsophisticated, which matches how incredibly unsophisticated he is in all other aspects of life so I guess it makes sense. And whether or not you can buy a house with cash depends very much on where you live (for me, it's the San Francisco Bay Area and though we are pretty well off, it would make zero financial sense for us to put everything into buying a house with cash). Boob, of course, thinks he is the epitome of smarts in all things and thus qualified to advise Jill and Derrickdillard. He is wrong about begin the epitome of smarts in anything.

I live in Washington DC in fact,  live in the richest county in the country, Loudoun County Virginia. 16 years ago we bought our house with our savings for $380,000. It is now worth $780,000.

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They are showing a wedding shower that the midwife (or is she a doula) threw for her for the moms she helped with birth... I'm not married so I'm not positive about the proper ettiquiette... Im assuming the moms aren't all invited to the wedding (who knows maybe they are) but isn't it consider rude to invite someone to a shower that is not invited to the wedding?

 

This is kind of a weird rule. Because the bride controls who is invited to the wedding; but since it is improper etiquette to throw yourself a shower, the bride doesn't necessarily contro who gets invited to the shower.

 

I still have people mad at me because I requested they not throw me a shower (10 years ago)- since most of the shower guests would not be invited to the wedding. They are mad because they then couldn't throw the shower.  In hindsight, I probably should have just gone to the shower, and still not invited them; that has been how it has worked for the group with everyone else; all of us going to the shower and a subset to the wedding.  But I agree with you- you shouldn't be invited to a shower for a wedding you aren't invited to. The practice seems to be different.

 

Also- a 2 hour wedding episode seems ridiculous.

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If we are lucky MEchelle will take up the first hour of the wedding epi with her finding her dream MOTHER OF THE BRIDE duck tape dress. Just imagine all the "pretty" and normal dresses she passed up in order to have the ugliest dress I have ever seen as the one she picked. Was that dress part of the MEchelle is a sinner for life so she can't wear anything decent e.v.e.r. pick?

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A two hour wedding special means we will be treated to a lot of flashbacks.  We are going to see their first meeting in Nepal, Derek’s return to the US, not to mention the courtship and engagement segments for the 20th time.  We are also going to be subjected to Josh and Anna’s wedding for the 30th time and a segment on Jim Bob and Michelle’s nuptial.  Mark my words.

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The big thing is, if you have 1000 people coming to your wedding, your venue accommodates 1500, and you are serving very light refreshments, why weren't these families invited? It just seems odd that they wouldn't be.

It appears the real Fundy reception was at the Duggars home following the church reception.

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You guys! Praise Jesus and rejoice, for after the wedding episode, we will never, ever have to hear Jill say "I'm engaged to Derickdillard" again!

 

I would do a happy dance, but I don't want to stir up any impure desires in anyone when there's no way to righteously deal with them.

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You guys! Praise Jesus and rejoice, for after the wedding episode, we will never, ever have to hear Jill say "I'm engaged to Derickdillard" again!

 

I would do a happy dance, but I don't want to stir up any impure desires in anyone when there's no way to righteously deal with them.

 

No, after next week, it will be, "I'm married to Derick Dillard!"

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This is kind of a weird rule. Because the bride controls who is invited to the wedding; but since it is improper etiquette to throw yourself a shower, the bride doesn't necessarily contro who gets invited to the shower.

 

I still have people mad at me because I requested they not throw me a shower (10 years ago)- since most of the shower guests would not be invited to the wedding. They are mad because they then couldn't throw the shower.  In hindsight, I probably should have just gone to the shower, and still not invited them; that has been how it has worked for the group with everyone else; all of us going to the shower and a subset to the wedding.  But I agree with you- you shouldn't be invited to a shower for a wedding you aren't invited to. The practice seems to be different.

 

Also- a 2 hour wedding episode seems ridiculous.

Hahaha you said "Duggar" and "etiquette" in the same sentences. Funniest post all day.

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No, after next week, it will be, "I'm married to Derick Dillard!"

 

Josh and Anna don't do this, do they? Maybe it's considered necessary so that we don't forget Derick and Jill's last name while Anna's is of no significance anymore (in their universe).

 

I'm afraid that next season will be devoted exclusively to "I am engaged to Ben Seewald," so we may actually come to miss the days when there were at least two different names that we were being hit over the head with every week.

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If we are lucky MEchelle will take up the first hour of the wedding epi with her finding her dream MOTHER OF THE BRIDE duck tape dress. Just imagine all the "pretty" and normal dresses she passed up in order to have the ugliest dress I have ever seen as the one she picked. Was that dress part of the MEchelle is a sinner for life so she can't wear anything decent e.v.e.r. pick?

Oh God I hope this is true. The only thing I've wanted to see in the whole wedding prep season of life was MEchelle picking out her I'M THE MOTHER OF THE BRIDE dress.

Too bad it wasn't true that she borrowed Kelly Bates' dress. We could have seen her saying she couldn't find a proper modest enough dress to cover her busty, curvy figure & Kelly in her Christian like way would offer her the dress she wore.

Does someone know what shoes MEchelle wore? It didn't look like she got hers when the rest went to the shoe store. Maybe she had on some blinged out stilettos on under that monstrosity she wore.

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A two hour wedding special means we will be treated to a lot of flashbacks. We are going to see their first meeting in Nepal, Derek’s return to the US, not to mention the courtship and engagement segments for the 20th time. We are also going to be subjected to Josh and Anna’s wedding for the 30th time and a segment on Jim Bob and Michelle’s nuptial. Mark my words.

Who cares just show the wedding before more fans get pissed off

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Women living in little huts during their period is a Russian Orthodox Christian tradition. It is also observed in some Ultra Orthodox Jewish traditions and in some parts of Ethiopia. It doesn't say that anywhere in the Bible. Good grief...

Actually, it IS in the Bible. Trying to portray the rules regarding menstruation as a cultural tradition is disingenuous. Leviticus is a part of the mainstream Christian Bible and, in fact, is frequently cited by people like the Duggars to explain their rationale for being anti gay marriage and other social issues. Even if you want to discount Leviticus, there's Ezekiel and Genesis. The Duggars cite Old Testament rules to determine when they resume sexual relations post natal. Why, then, should they discount the rest of the Old Testament. The Duggars have stated time and time again that you have to take this Bible literally and you have to follow it as the Word of God- so, why are they picking and choosing? So, to summarize, the huts and separation of the sexes based on a woman's cycle is verdict part of the Bible.
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The huts aren't in the Bible. But the constant harping of how nasty menstruating women are runs through the Bible like a ringing bell.

Until the gospels where the woman touches Jesus and he makes her clean by her faith, not her actions, not her body, and not the law. When seen as part of the entire Old Testament, that story in Luke is incredibly powerful.

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Actually, it IS in the Bible. Trying to portray the rules regarding menstruation as a cultural tradition is disingenuous. Leviticus is a part of the mainstream Christian Bible and, in fact, is frequently cited by people like the Duggars to explain their rationale for being anti gay marriage and other social issues. Even if you want to discount Leviticus, there's Ezekiel and Genesis. The Duggars cite Old Testament rules to determine when they resume sexual relations post natal. Why, then, should they discount the rest of the Old Testament. The Duggars have stated time and time again that you have to take this Bible literally and you have to follow it as the Word of God- so, why are they picking and choosing? So, to summarize, the huts and separation of the sexes based on a woman's cycle is verdict part of the Bible.

Actually, it is NOT in the Bible. There is no chapter and verse that states this. Period.

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OK, Jill and Derick were just on Fox and Friends, announcing they are having a boy.  My question is how does he get all this time off from his job to do this?  It was not mentioned where he works so it couldn't be a "free publicity" thing.

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Oh God I hope this is true. The only thing I've wanted to see in the whole wedding prep season of life was MEchelle picking out her I'M THE MOTHER OF THE BRIDE dress.

Too bad it wasn't true that she borrowed Kelly Bates' dress. We could have seen her saying she couldn't find a proper modest enough dress to cover her busty, curvy figure & Kelly in her Christian like way would offer her the dress she wore.

 

Funny, I was watching an old episode of Big Bang Theory last night and Amy Farrah Fowler was trying on a version of Michelle's dress as a Maid of Honor dress. The top was a bit different, but it had the skirt and jacket!

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What I don't understand is why would anyone want the word "shabby" associated with the style of their wedding ceremony and/or reception?

Because it is "in" and by shabby they mean rustic. I think the wedding looks very pretty.

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Because it is "in" and by shabby they mean rustic. I think the wedding looks very pretty.

Yes, shabby or shabby chic has been around for a while and is becoming or is the most "in" theme. 

I cringed when a friend told me she was going to distress her very nice T.V. armoir for that look and in the end I had to confess that it turned out really nice.

Much was said about Jill's lopsided wedding cake but I didn't see anything wrong with it except for the floral decoration on it.  I don't know if her cake was intended to be lopsided but there are cakes that are intentionally made to look like it is.

I have a feeling that Jessa may be going in the shabby direction for her wedding too since she is "using/borrowing" JIll's decorations.  There was also a wedding shower pic on Pickles and Hairspray with Bin and Jessa's pics hanging on clothespins.

Edited by abseedee
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I think shabby chic is fine, and a vintage wedding is fine, but they are slightly different things, and shabby vintage just shows how little they understand the whole thing! ;)

And it would not be typical to be paid for being on FOX AND FRIENDS. They might have had expenses paid to get there, if they were on set, however.

Edited by GEML
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I think shabby chic is fine, and a vintage wedding is fine, but they are slightly different things, and shabby vintage just shows how little they understand the whole thing! ;)

And it would not be typical to be paid for being on FOX AND FRIENDS. They might have had expenses paid to get there, if they were on set, however.

I disagree I think shabby/rustic and vintage can be done....like this

http://my.somethingvintagerentals.com/ or you can do a vintage theme that isn't rustic like a Gatsby theme or a Downton Abbey Theme.

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A two hour wedding special means we will be treated to a lot of flashbacks.  We are going to see their first meeting in Nepal, Derek’s return to the US, not to mention the courtship and engagement segments for the 20th time.  We are also going to be subjected to Josh and Anna’s wedding for the 30th time and a segment on Jim Bob and Michelle’s nuptial.  Mark my words.

Ugh, this was painful just to read.

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Overbooked, baby Dill may at some point see an OSU game, but that is as close as he will ever get to the mascot costume. The Duggars would never allow one of their own to attend a public university. Make no mistake about it. Baby Dill will be raised Duggar and home schooled by Jill with no opportunity for higher education unless it's a non-accredited online Bible based school. I honestly think Derick had to privately agree to live the Duggar lifestyle and raise his children Gothard before Boob would give his blessing. Thus far he's been toeing the line.

Edited by Hpmec
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Give Derrick a chance. He will grow into a more confident husband and father. I don't see him bowing down to Jim Bob forever. He will want the benefit of education for his children. I think he will insist upon it.

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Higgins, I would hope that Derick would eventually get out from under the shadow of the Duggars, but JimBob has already claimed him as one of their own. He has also characterized Jill as his "compliant" daughter. No way are the two of them breaking free of his influence, especially since he provided them with a very nice 1st home. Knowing how controlling JimBob is, I'm confident there are lots of strings attached. I'd be very happy to see Derick assert himself, but I'm afraid it would come at a great cost and he's not, by nature, a boat rocker.

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I don't see the split being that Derrick is "giving in" or "bowing down" to Jim Bob, but that he genuinely admires him and desperately wanted a father figure to help him through the stages of young manhood. I realize that most of us here find that really hard to imagine, but I take him at his word that he was attracted to JB the man, not the idea of courting his daughters.

Now how far he will take that in terms of his and Jill's lifestyle remains to be seen. There may be a Christian college in the young Dills' futures, but likely not an OSU type state school unless they have a child who really pushes for it. Yes, they likely will be homeschooled, but they also will grow up in a home with real music from their mother and likely real books provided from their paternal grandmother - that already makes their home dramatically different from how Jill was raised.

Edited by GEML
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But, he will be the father figure. He is a very young man still. If I think about the man I married when I was 20 and the man he is now at 45. You can't compare them. I just don't think we know enough about him to make the assumption that he, a man who has been in the real world, will not want his children to have choices as he did.

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I'm curious why the script switch to Derrick claiming he "helped write" their song; is he planning on a song-writing career?

 

If they have to name every spouse and grandchild, soon the introduction will be longer than the actual show!

 

I vote for Jill to get the first family spin-off (along with everything else she's getting)...

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(Wry tone) It's not just women's bodies that have, um, fluids coming out of them, and let's remember that multiple women shared a man. In some ways, menstruation ensured a woman WAS clean. (Ironic, huh?)

And I'm not interested in a spin off from any of the children, on the theory that TLC people read these boards.

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