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Jill, Derick & the Kids: Moving On!!


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Shout out to everyone participating in the conversation about Jill’s miscarriage/stillbirth. You’re navigating a difficult topic with respect and thoughtfulness and your contributions are kind, considerate, constructive and informative. 

Thank you. 💚💚

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Mary Catherine Dillard would be pretty and she'd have a plethora of nickname options. It's a traditional Catholic girl's name where I'm from, but they wouldn't necessarily know that. Plus, it would honor Grandma Duggar. She deserves some props.

 

Boys are tougher. I can see them picking a trendy boy name like Mason or Cameron or going straight Biblical and picking Jacob. Jacob Richard Dillard sounds nice. 

 

ETA: zenme and I are on the same wavelength! I was typing my post as you posted. 

Edited by PinkSprinkles
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They can name the girl Abcde =p.  That's five letters in one fell swoop.  We thought our niece was crazy when she named her daughter that but found out that there are a few hundred other girls with the same name.  Her daughter is in her teens now and loves her name.  We were worried about the teasing but as far as we know there weren't.  See my username for pronounciation.

 

Is Derick's mom Cathy or Catherine?  They could make a play on both grandmas names like Catherine Michaela.

Edited by abseedee
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Isn't Jill's middle name also Michelle?  And it's very clear that Jill loves her mother and would like to honor her and Derrick will likely enjoy naming a baby after his wife.  I'm guessing Catherine Michelle, since it's also likely Michelle will be a Josh and Anna name for the next girl.  Plus, given that Catherine is adopted, there may also be a birth name that the would like to honor at some point.  They will have plenty of names to choose from that we have no access to.  There is perhaps a Mary in Josh and Anna's future as well.

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I think Catherine is a pretty, classic name. I like the name Michelle as well, but to me it would be such an ass-kissing move if Jill went that route.

Michelle is also Jill's middle name, so momma and daughter would share the same middle name. It's sweet from that angle.

I'll throw my hat in the ring and hope that Jill takes a leaf out of this mother's book:

 

hR0vTMc.jpg

This just makes my head hurt. I feel sorry for the poor girl and what I'm assuming is her sister.

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Jill's comments about wanting Derick to quit his job and work for Daddy dearest are so infuriating.

 

More proof as to just how sheltered, ignorant, and totally removed from reality this family is.

 

She is upset because he goes to work 5 days a week from 9 to 5?  Do those jobs even exist anymore?  My husband travels about 3 weeks out of every month, and when he is home he gets calls, emails, and texts at all hours of the day.  What I wouldn't give for him to only have to work 40 hours a week .  And we are not newlyweds- we have been married for 34 years!

 

This child bride needs a serious reality check.  And I really hope Derick puts his foot down and sticks with his job.  Quitting and going to work for Jim Bob would be a huge mistake, and likely to cause significant marital problems. 

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I'm surprised we haven't had a Michelle grandchild yet!  

 

I'm not sure if this has been brought up, but it saddens me that Derick works for WalMart.  yes, of course he needs to provide for his family and it's great that he has a 'real' job in the outside world and I respect that he's out there earning a living.  But walmart has so many policies that harm their workers and that are so contrary to Christian beliefs.  I'm surprised that what Walmart does is ok with them, and I wish a family that gets so much publicity as they do would take a stand.  I wonder if it bothers them at all that he's working for a company that has a history of treating its workers so poorly.  But I'm assuming being in Arkansas, no one can speak an ill word of walmart?  

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I'm not someone who shops at Walmart (old labor family) but I do have a close friend who's husband works in upper upper management. And in Ark, if I understand correctly, they have done a lot in terms of culture and the arts and the university.

I know that even though Andrew Carnegie destroyed American Labor in my neck of the woods, I still appreciated his University, his libraries, his museum, etc. Yes, he was a robber baron like the rest of them, but he was OUR robber baron, you might say. No doubt people in Arkansas feel similarly.

But quitting any good job to go to work for JB so Jill can be on Duggartime is just sad to listen to her say. I'm hoping that JB is actually smart enough to realize this is one child he isn't going to have to support and really let her go.

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I'm surprised we haven't had a Michelle grandchild yet!  

 

I'm not sure if this has been brought up, but it saddens me that Derick works for WalMart.  yes, of course he needs to provide for his family and it's great that he has a 'real' job in the outside world and I respect that he's out there earning a living.  But walmart has so many policies that harm their workers and that are so contrary to Christian beliefs.  I'm surprised that what Walmart does is ok with them, and I wish a family that gets so much publicity as they do would take a stand.  I wonder if it bothers them at all that he's working for a company that has a history of treating its workers so poorly.  But I'm assuming being in Arkansas, no one can speak an ill word of walmart?  

Yes, they do all seem to worship Walmart in that area/on this show. I was disappointed to hear that it was Derrick's dream to work there. I personally never have and never will set foot in one, even if they start giving away their merchandise.

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I remembered hearing a few months ago the family who owns WalMart supports the anti gay/lesbians and not letting illegal immigrants into the country movement. I am sure JB, Michelle and Josh do not mind him working there as long as the company supports their political and religious views. As for Jill, she needs to stand up and be on her own two feet and not expect Derick to give up his job for her.

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Walmart isn't actually anti-LGBT. They scored an 80 percent on the latest HRC Corporate Responsibility Index. Here are the results:

1a Prohibits Discrimination Based on Sexual Orientation (15 points)
1b Prohibits Discrimination Based on Gender Identity or Expression (15 points)
2a Offers Partner Health/Medical Insurance (15 points)
2b Has Parity Across Other “Soft” Benefits for Partners (10 points)
(half credit for parity across some, but not all benefits)

3b Has Employer-Supported Employee Resource Group
OR Firm-Wide Diversity Council (10 points)
Would Support ERG if Employees Express Interest (half credit)
4 Positively Engages the External LGBT Community (15 points)
(partial credit of 5 points given for less than 3 efforts)

 

The only places where they aren't compliant is on trans inclusive health insurance (10 points), however, I wouldn't be surprised if next year their score will be higher. They are also deficient in this area:

Competency training, resources or accountability measures 1O points
Businesses must demonstrate a firm-wide, sustained and accountable
commitment to diversity and cultural competency, including at least three
of the following elements:
- New hire training clearly states that the nondiscrimination policy
includes sexual orientation and gender identity and provides definitions
or scenarios illustrating the policy for each
- Supervisors undergo training that includes sexual orientation and
gender identity as discrete topics (may be part of a broader training),
and provides definitions or scenarios illustrating the policy for each
- Integration of sexual orientation and gender identity in professional
development, skills-based or other leadership training that includes
elements of diversity and/or cultural competency
- Senior management/executive performance measures include LGBT
diversity metrics
- Gender transition guidelines with supportive restroom/ facilities,
dress code and documentation guidance
- Anonymous employee engagement or climate surveys conducted on an
annual or biennial basis allow employees the option to identify as LGBT
- Data collection forms that include employee race, ethnicity, gender, military
and disability status — typically recorded as part of employee records —
include optional questions on sexual orientation and gender identity

 

I wonder if the Duggars have any idea that Walmart was so LGBT friendly.

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I live in the area & nearly everyone works for Walmart or is a vendor for a company that sells to Walmart. My DH & I are the latter.

I'm not going to say anything bad about Walmart. They employ not only workers in Bentonville but the surrounding cities. Most people that are vendors are not native to the area so it is really interesting finding out where they are from. They give generously to our area charities & they built the lovely Crystal Bridges art museum with free admission & surrounding wooded paths for walking.

I don't want to make this a debate about is Walmart good/evil. I know most people like the living we have here, & that's possible because of Walmart.

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Derick doesn't seem to be the manual labor type, so hopefully he will stick to his day job. The more Jill talks, the more I don't like her.

You and me both. Jill has become very entitled now that she's part of the "I's married now" crowd. Derick would be a complete idiot to give up a job with benefits to go do JimBoob's scut work.

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Derickdillard was lucky to get a job in his field (as many recent college graduates & others can't. ) so he better keep it. Plus like others said, he has benefits. But I'm sure Jill doesn't have a clue what a benefit is.

Maybe Jill should go to work for Boob.

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Jill's comments about wanting Derick to quit his job and work for Daddy dearest are so infuriating.

 

I felt the same way. I would also like to add that this is one (of thousands) of reasons for people to spend time together and get to know each other before marriage.

 

Did Jill just assume that Derick would quit his job, and jump on the bus? Because who wouldn't want to be part of this dog and pony show? Did they talk about anything other than their favorite Bible versus before they got married?

 

 

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 Did they talk about anything other than their favorite Bible versus before they got married?

It makes you wonder, doesn't it? None of the Duggar kids have a clue about how life really works. Even though Derick is conservative, he's lived a much more mainstream life than Jill has. I can see him getting annoyed/bored really quickly if Jill is turning into one of those needy, clingy girls who can't bear to be separated from her man for more than five minutes. There is such a thing as too much togetherness. I can see them a year into this thing where Derick is finding excuses to stay late at work.

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The clinginess will actually encourage him to have several children quickly, likely. Having and raising children is something Jill is very very good at doing, it will build her confidence and likely her independence (ironically enough) and also mean he will need to work to support them. It will probably also mean there won't be any stopping of media coverage - not many people are going to turn down easy money at that age, especially when to Jill, that kind of lack of privacy is perfectly normal.

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I don't remember Jill actually saying 'quit your job'.  I remember the TH regarding 'how much time is acceptable to be away from your spouse', and Derick saying 'enough time to work'.  Jill said 'not really acceptable'.    I think she was just being all 13-year-old about missing him during that time, not actually saying 'quit  your job'.  I think she is probably right now finding out how nice it is for your spouse to come home from work and be home then.

 

For all JB's and Michelle's 'work for yourself' comments about being time for family.... JB probably works on/and off 24 hours a day.  He has real-estate, rentals,  There is always some issue going on with those, unless you have a management company doing it for you.   I don't think he really spends any more time a day (other than filming) with his family than anyone else does. 

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But walmart has so many policies that harm their workers and that are so contrary to Christian beliefs.  I'm surprised that what Walmart does is ok with them, and I wish a family that gets so much publicity as they do would take a stand.  I wonder if it bothers them at all that he's working for a company that has a history of treating its workers so poorly.

 

The Duggars will shop/eat anywhere that donates money to conservative politicians.  That's what passes for good Christianity in that family, I guess. 

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The Derrick/Jill work exchange was along the lines of him saying that being away from home to go to work was an acceptable amount of time to be apart and if he didn't go to work on a daily basis he wouldn't get anything done. Her exact words in response were. "I don't know.  I don't think we've agreed on that."  It would appear that there is some ongoing discussion between the two of them about either how many hours he's working and/or her pushing for him to go work for her dad with the assumption that it would mean he would be at home more.

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The Derrick/Jill work exchange was along the lines of him saying that being away from home to go to work was an acceptable amount of time to be apart and if he didn't go to work on a daily basis he wouldn't get anything done. Her exact words in response were. "I don't know.  I don't think we've agreed on that."  It would appear that there is some ongoing discussion between the two of them about either how many hours he's working and/or her pushing for him to go work for her dad with the assumption that it would mean he would be at home more.

Yikes.

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I don't remember Jill actually saying 'quit your job'.  I remember the TH regarding 'how much time is acceptable to be away from your spouse', and Derick saying 'enough time to work'.  Jill said 'not really acceptable'.    I think she was just being all 13-year-old about missing him during that time, not actually saying 'quit  your job'.  I think she is probably right now finding out how nice it is for your spouse to come home from work and be home then.

 

For all JB's and Michelle's 'work for yourself' comments about being time for family.... JB probably works on/and off 24 hours a day.  He has real-estate, rentals,  There is always some issue going on with those, unless you have a management company doing it for you.   I don't think he really spends any more time a day (other than filming) with his family than anyone else does. 

 

Here's exactly how that whole conversation played out:

D: I think an acceptable amount of time for us to be apart would be…as long as I have to be at work.

J: *mocks surprise* It’s not acceptable!

D: It’s not acceptable? (Jill laughs)  Well if it wasn’t acceptable then I wouldn’t go to work and I wouldn’t accomplish anything...

J: Hmrph. (Jill shrugs her shoulders and smiles) I don’t know. I don’t think we’ve agreed on that.

 

If you watch her body language it seems pretty obvious to me that Jill was just joking around. Nowhere did she say anything about wanting Derick to quit his job to work for her dad instead. I think she's fine with him having a  9-5 job. She even seems, dare I say it, HAPPY. I think she, like most anyone would in her situation, is just figuring out how to adjust as a married woman and that'll come with more time and experience. I give Jill a pass on the daily lunches with her hubby at work because it's probably something that still feels like a fun date to her. Who knows, Derick may even enjoy having her around. My S/O and I used to have lunch together all the time when we worked in offices on the same block. If it weren't for him changing jobs and moving to another location further away we'd probably still be meeting up for lunch everyday. 

 

Does anyone know where Jill and Derick go to church? Are they attending Jim Bob's church or Derick's family's church, (aka a real one).?

People who attend Cross Chruch have mentioned occassionally seeing Jill and Derick there for Sunday service. My guess is that Jill and Derick go to Cross Church whenever her family is out of town which seems to be fairly often with all the traveling that they do. 

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What does Jill think Derick will do all day, every day being at home with her? Measure her growing girth and photograph it for all the world to see? Oh, he already does that. I believe that perhaps a MODEST monthly update of her progress would be enough for us out here.

I also believe that the temperaments of Jill and Derick are polar opposites. Derick is a slow speaker, thinker and is quite "in control" of himself. Jill, on the other hand, is boisterous, lively, and jumps into things with both feet, (ie I have to fly to Nepal to meet a guy I love). Who says that and who DOES that? I think it was HER who rushed this relationship. Her demeanor will begin to grate on him as he will begin to feel pressured to things in HER time and HER way. That's what this old lady sees from a motherly point of perspective.

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Here's exactly how that whole conversation played out:

D: I think an acceptable amount of time for us to be apart would be…as long as I have to be at work.

J: *mocks surprise* It’s not acceptable!

D: It’s not acceptable? (Jill laughs)  Well if it wasn’t acceptable then I wouldn’t go to work and I wouldn’t accomplish anything...

J: Hmrph. (Jill shrugs her shoulders and smiles) I don’t know. I don’t think we’ve agreed on that.

 

If you watch her body language it seems pretty obvious to me that Jill was just joking around. Nowhere did she say anything about wanting Derick to quit his job to work for her dad instead. I think she's fine with him having a  9-5 job. She even seems, dare I say it, HAPPY. I think she, like most anyone would in her situation, is just figuring out how to adjust as a married woman and that'll come with more time and experience. 

 

This is the way I saw that exchange. Just kind of playful "I want to be with you every minute of every day" hyperbole. When they seemed to ask Jessa and Ben the same question, again the response was jokey and playful.

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Mariva, I didn't get that she was joking around. I don't think she had outright asked him to quit his job either, but I did detect some discontent with him not being at home like her daddy and it's an issue that's simmering in her mind. If she had her way, she would prefer to live just like her parents, IMO. She took the position, (as I saw it) that it was a subject that they had discussed and clearly she would like for him to spend more time at home.  Not a good understanding between the two of them already.

During that stupid bungee jump episode, Derick was projecting his thoughts to after marriage with Jill and he said that he wondered what it would be like day in and day out with Jill on an everyday basis... I know not everyone lives together before marriage, but I would assume during the dating process, a couple spends enough chronological time together and they have an idea of what that person's lifestyle at home is...In this process, they are clueless.

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Mariva, I didn't get that she was joking around. I don't think she had outright asked him to quit his job either, but I did detect some discontent with him not being at home like her daddy and it's an issue that's simmering in her mind. If she had her way, she would prefer to live just like her parents, IMO. She took the position, (as I saw it) that it was a subject that they had discussed and clearly she would like for him to spend more time at home.  Not a good understanding between the two of them already.

During that stupid bungee jump episode, Derick was projecting his thoughts to after marriage with Jill and he said that he wondered what it would be like day in and day out with Jill on an everyday basis... I know not everyone lives together before marriage, but I would assume during the dating process, a couple spends enough chronological time together and they have an idea of what that person's lifestyle at home is...In this process, they are clueless.

Well that conversation in their TH took place before Jill and Derick got married. It's possible that at one point Jill may have had reservations about Derick working for someone else that's not her daddy.  I think she's fine with it now though and have come to accept that Derick wants to be independent and set up his own career.  I guess I just haven't seen any signs that she's been unhappy about their current situation. She might feel a little lonely and lost being left home alone while Derick's gone and I think that's understandable,  but it all comes down to an adjustment period. Over time Jill is going to adapt and find ways to keep busy without Derick (especially once she starts having kids) and I bet she'll come to realize just how fortunate she is to have married him.

 

Almost everyone goes through an adjustment period once they get married or start living together. Derick and Jill are no different from any other couple in that regard. Derick also said that he felt he and Jill had a good understanding of the more deeper issues which by that I assumed he meant major issues about their lifestyle - like future career plans and how to raise a family. I'm sure they'll have their disagreements during their marriage but I worry less about them then I do with Jessa and Ben.  In a way, their long-distance courtship while Derick was in Nepal was beneficial because it allowed them to build up their communication (remember their 8 hour Q&A Skype session?). IMO Jill and Derick already had a fairly decent grasp on who the other person was before they rushed into marriage. On the other hand despite having a longer courtship, I still can't possibly fantom what Jessa and Ben know about each other other than them finding each other hot and sharing the same the extremist religious views and passion for "preaching" it to the masses. 

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I would not be surprised if JB at some point attempts to "create" a job for Derick, employing him with his accounting skills. JB could easily use someone like Derick to manage the financial aspects of his many businesses. If JB is smart, he'll hold off on offering Derick a position right away because that would look fairly obvious that he's trying to reel him in and he knows Derick to be his own man -- at the moment. If JB waits and slowly introduces the idea sometime after the first grandchild or two comes around then he can appeal to Derick or somehow create the perfect storm in his own business to show Derick how his skill set is necessary to take the Duggar business to the next level. Not sure if JB is patient or smart enough to pull it off, but if he does then he'll be in an even greater position of controlling their lives.

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If Derrick is smart, he will take a long careful look at what he'd be getting in to before becoming liable for however legitimate those businesses are.

 

And if Jim Bob is smart, he will not open the books to someone he can't control.

Edited by kassygreene
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If Derrick is smart, he will take a long careful look at what he'd be getting in to before become liable for however legitimate those businesses are.

 

And if Jim Bob is smart, he will not open the books to someone he can't control.

Or if Jerrick is smart, he might take that position… and end up being the one with the upper arm!  Seeing how tricky this family is with dress shopping and such, I have a pretty good idea there is some fun cooking in those books.  And I'm not talking tater tot casserole.

Edited by truthtalk2014
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If Boob and Mullet are handling the books themselves I'm not sure if they would want anyone else in the family to look them over.  Makes me wonder if some "creative" accounting would be found if they ever get audited.  If I were Derick I wouldn't want to clean their books.

Edited by abseedee
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I think JB thinks a lot of Derrick, but I'm skeptical that he would ever turn his financials over to him. But if JB IS smart, he might allow Josiah the small freedom of going to college and studying accounting (strictly watched, of course) and groom him to take that position. Blood is likely thicker than water in JB's world. Remember, they come from a (ridiculous) religious mindset that says you can't even adopt because you don't know what the sins of the father might be. JB will likely want to make sure the only one who knows his own "sins" is his own flesh and blood.

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Josiah is definitely not one of Boob's favorites. I'm sure he is at the bottom if not the bottom. We've all seen Boobs actions toward him. Boob is not going to allow him to take any type of accounting/business courses. Especially since he's been at Alert for months (which isn't cheap but I'm sure since they are Gothard royalty, they probably get reduced tuition or even free,). Run Josiah Run !!

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Oh, it's pretty clear JB doesn't care for Josiah. But that doesn't mean he won't try and keep him under his thumb. And he will need something pretty good to keep him.

Also, for all Derrick is an accountant for Wal-Mart with a college degree, this is still a long way from someone who really knows how to do tax forms and complicated returns. For all we know, he's doing payroll or something much more HR related. I'm betting JB uses a CPA.

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Oh, it's pretty clear JB doesn't care for Josiah. But that doesn't mean he won't try and keep him under his thumb. And he will need something pretty good to keep him.

Also, for all Derrick is an accountant for Wal-Mart with a college degree, this is still a long way from someone who really knows how to do tax forms and complicated returns. For all we know, he's doing payroll or something much more HR related. I'm betting JB uses a CPA.

I think a CPA is the best person to handle all of the Duggar finances especially with all of the properties and businesses that they own.  There are many different aspects of accounting and I'm sure Derick does not know all that is necessary.

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What happened to Leave and Cleave, Jill? Derrick (and Bin): you are NOT Duggars. Be your own men and live your own lives.

I suspect as long as Ben & Derick are famewhoring with the Family, they are Duggars.

I would have thought a lot more of Derick if he refused to do the show, esp since he is employed & he & Jill don't *need* the money. But there they are selling themselves out on magazine covers.

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I had a dream the other night that I was Jill Dillard, and there was a zombie apocalypse. Derick and I had left the rest of the clan behind and were walking down a highway that was full of parked cars with people inside. In fact, we were actually walking on the cars, and like hopping across them. No one had any idea what was happening until we got to a certain point where you could see the zombies causing all the carnage. There was more detail to it but I can't remember anymore.

 

It was really odd and random. I woke up laughing.

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I suspect as long as Ben & Derick are famewhoring with the Family, they are Duggars.

I would have thought a lot more of Derick if he refused to do the show, esp since he is employed & he & Jill don't *need* the money. But there they are selling themselves out on magazine covers.

I suspect if Derick had suggested he didn't want to do the show, Boob would have let Jill know that this guy has some "serious character flaws" and she should not be giving him pieces of her heart.

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I also think Jill absolutely loves all the attention she's getting from the media.  She's a nice girl, but I do think she's as much of a famewhore as everyone else in that family, even if she genuinely believes it's just a way of "witnessing" to people through US Weekly.  She's getting to be like Michelle in pulling the attention back on herself when the media starts to remember that Jessa and Ben exist.  "We're getting married!"  "Well, I'm pregnant!  Everyone look over here!" 

 

Still, Jessa needs as little attention as possible.  As long as people listen to her she'll keep believing she actually has something to say.

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I also think Jill absolutely loves all the attention she's getting from the media.  She's a nice girl, but I do think she's as much of a famewhore as everyone else in that family, even if she genuinely believes it's just a way of "witnessing" to people through US Weekly.  She's getting to be like Michelle in pulling the attention back on herself when the media starts to remember that Jessa and Ben exist.  "We're getting married!"  "Well, I'm pregnant!  Everyone look over here!" 

 

Still, Jessa needs as little attention as possible.  As long as people listen to her she'll keep believing she actually has something to say.

I'm a little disappointed, but not really surprised, that Jill has fallen into the "I've landed a man, and therefore invented courtship, engagement, marriage, sex, pregnancy, etc. so I can smugly give unsolicited expert advice on ALL of it, all while creating extensive expensive registries and receive gifts I deserve, because all this is for ministry."  I was sure Jill would be the SAHD, so guess I was wrong there.

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I would have thought a lot more of Derick if he refused to do the show, esp since he is employed & he & Jill don't *need* the money. But there they are selling themselves out on magazine covers.

It would be very difficult for Derick to refuse to do the show when his wife is on it. I honestly think Derick is along for the ride because it would look strange otherwise for him not to be. I am not convinced yet that he genuinely enjoys the famewhoring as much as he is doing it because he realizes that this is a part of Jill's life. It would be easier at this point for Cathy and Derick's brother to refuse filming. For Derick? Yeah, no. He's kind of screwed in this regard. Anyone who marries into this family is going to have to be a part of the show for as long as it's airing.

 

I am not surprised that Jill loves the attention she's getting. Just looking at her IG comments, I bet she gets a huge ego boost from the comments that insist her and her family are special. People are voluntarily sending Jill baby gifts despite never having met her. Since Jill was a child, she's been told she's unique, the family and their values are rare and special, etc. Her and Derick are getting paid to present their couples' testimony despite not even having a year of marriage under their belt. It would be hard not to buy into the hype.

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