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Jill, Derick & the Kids: Moving On!!


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Shout out to everyone participating in the conversation about Jill’s miscarriage/stillbirth. You’re navigating a difficult topic with respect and thoughtfulness and your contributions are kind, considerate, constructive and informative. 

Thank you. 💚💚

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On ‎1‎/‎30‎/‎2018 at 8:50 PM, EVS said:

If I were the person Cathy posted that response to, I would then respond something like, “ Thank you so much for your offer to help me homeschool. If I decide to teach my child to be an ignorant, misogynistic grifter, I will certainly ask for your help.”

just like that!

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11 hours ago, Love2dance said:

@Arwen Evenstar, what you are saying sounds completely different than the arrogant way Cathy came across.  I understand her being too weak and overwhelmed to do anything during the depths of her illness. But once she improved, and especially now in remission, she could at least acknowledge the wonderful support and care she received from the medical professionals, in addition to the answers to prayers God gave her.

If she, god forbid, needs a doctor again, I vote when she calls them they say "see you in six months, you'll be fine God's got this"

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8 minutes ago, Annb67 said:

If she, god forbid, needs a doctor again, I vote when she calls them they say "see you in six months, you'll be fine God's got this"

"Derick, set up a gofundme for $10,000!" -Cathy

Edited by JoanArc
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1 hour ago, Annb67 said:

If she, god forbid, needs a doctor again, I vote when she calls them they say "see you in six months, you'll be fine God's got this"

She probably sees at least one doctor for followup visits. My husband sees his kidney specialist (who is a talented, kind amazing doctor) every three months to make sure his kidney is working fine.

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God kept her alive because he doesn't want her hypocrite butt in heaven any time soon.  God takes the kind, good people first (like my mom).  No amount of praying by me kept her alive... And she had doctors who did everything they could to save her... It was just her time to go home. She thought hard, but was tired and went to heaven.

 

So people like Cathy make me angry and stabby. The end.

20 hours ago, bythelake said:

Oh Cathy, you're such a liar. You just laid there and didn't fight it? Did God make your appointments with the surgeon, oncologist, radiologist, etc ? Did God drive you there? Give credit where credit is due. You had a skilled surgical team and  you actively participated in your treatment. If you had such faith in God to cure you, you would have not sought any treatment whatsoever. Gee, I wonder if your team worshiped the right Jesus? Just think, Cathy one of them could have been an ebil Catholic.

Or Black or Jewish or Hispanic or Asian

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I don't think Cathy has ever publicly thanked her doctors and professional medical staff for taking good care of her, has she? I haven't read anything from her that I'm aware. This, to me, is wrong of her.

A 'true miraculous healing' is when a person is permanently and hopelessly ill. They go to bed one evening not knowing if they will wake up the next morning....but THEY DO wake up....FULLY HEALED and as good as new. It has happened and THAT, Cathy Dillard Byrum is a true miracle. No intense treatments, just resigned to their own fate and the Almighty's 'clock' measuring their short time on Earth. Mother Angelica, a Catholic nun, who ran the EWTN television network was crippled many years ago from a fall she sustained on a floor cleaning machine. She had leg braces, a damaged back and a lot of pain...for years. The doctors could do nothing more for her than they already had done. Then, years after her accident, she had a spiritual dream (I don't remember of who), but she woke up that morning not needing her leg braces and crutches any longer. She was pain free. Mother finally passed away a couple of years ago at 90+ years of age quietly and peacefully on Easter morning. She truly was called and 'rose' from this life.

Cathy's journey was nothing like this one. It simply, IMO, was not her time to leave this world and God interceded so HER PHYSICIANS' work was effective. If she didn't seek out any medical treatment, does she think she would have been healed by God alone? Her actions indicate otherwise. Another thing here, it is MR. BYRUM, who most likely saved her life as well. It was he who noticed something and strongly recommended she see a doctor and quickly. She also has never publicly thanked her present husband for his suggestion. This is my opinion. 

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21 minutes ago, floridamom said:

I don't think Cathy has ever publicly thanked her doctors and professional medical staff for taking good care of her, has she? I haven't read anything from her that I'm aware. This, to me, is wrong of her.

A 'true miraculous healing' is when a person is permanently and hopelessly ill. They go to bed one evening not knowing if they will wake up the next morning....but THEY DO wake up....FULLY HEALED and as good as new. It has happened and THAT, Cathy Dillard Byrum is a true miracle. No intense treatments, just resigned to their own fate and the Almighty's 'clock' measuring their short time on Earth. Mother Angelica, a Catholic nun, who ran the EWTN television network was crippled many years ago from a fall she sustained on a floor cleaning machine. She had leg braces, a damaged back and a lot of pain...for years. The doctors could do nothing more for her than they already had done. Then, years after her accident, she had a spiritual dream (I don't remember of who), but she woke up that morning not needing her leg braces and crutches any longer. She was pain free. Mother finally passed away a couple of years ago at 90+ years of age quietly and peacefully on Easter morning. She truly was called and 'rose' from this life.

Cathy's journey was nothing like this one. It simply, IMO, was not her time to leave this world and God interceded so HER PHYSICIANS' work was effective. If she didn't seek out any medical treatment, does she think she would have been healed by God alone? Her actions indicate otherwise. Another thing here, it is MR. BYRUM, who most likely saved her life as well. It was he who noticed something and strongly recommended she see a doctor and quickly. She also has never publicly thanked her present husband for his suggestion. This is my opinion. 

Like, like and did I say like. If God was her healer than why did she go to the doctors and seek treatment out of state. Now if she said God sent her to her medical team because he believe they would heal her aka remission and make her healthy for many more years to come, I would not be calling her out on her crap. Did God send her husband a message saying hey dude something is terrible wrong with your wife, you need to get  her to a doctor ASAP!

 My husband said his late father was sending him messages and told him to fight with everything he had. I made my husband sit down and make an appointment because the signs of something were wrong were scary. The doctors and dialysis unit staff were amazed he was still alive, and they still to this day believe he is a walking, breathing miracle. I think he is alive today because of his medical team, modern medicine, his donor and her family, God and his guardian angels. I also take a small part of the credit along with our four legged family members (the late Smokey, Ace, Misty, Tia and of course our silly, buggy still with us hopefully for more years to come Sassy.)

Edited by bigskygirl
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On 1/31/2018 at 9:01 PM, madpsych78 said:

Good point. NONE of the parents have spoken for their kids on social media nearly as much as Cathy. JB and Michelle don't, for example, jump in whenever Jessa's IG followers criticize her diapers or other SM posts. It makes me wonder if Cathy was the type of parent who emailed Derick's professors for him while he was in college.

#Yes #AbsolutelyYes #NoDoubtAboutIt 

She is why professors write articles about how infuriating it is for mommy or daddy to call when Suzy or Bobby didn't get an A on their test even though they studied sooooooo hard. 

"But MY SON IS PISTOL PETE, he NEEDS that A!"

Edited by Loves2Dance
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On 2/1/2018 at 6:49 PM, bythelake said:

Oh Cathy, you're such a liar. You just laid there and didn't fight it? Did God make your appointments with the surgeon, oncologist, radiologist, etc ? Did God drive you there? Give credit where credit is due. You had a skilled surgical team and  you actively participated in your treatment. If you had such faith in God to cure you, you would have not sought any treatment whatsoever. Gee, I wonder if your team worshiped the right Jesus? Just think, Cathy one of them could have been an ebil Catholic.

One thing I kind of get with her is the part of just lying there. Obviously, I didn't just lie there during cancer treatment--I researched doctors and clinical and surgical options, etc.--but there was a big sense of things happening to me, not me actually doing anything. After the decision making was done, all I could do was just go to chemo/get surgery/go to radiation and hope that it all worked for me. Because sometimes it doesn't work, or the side effects are bad enough to require hospitalization and/or delay treatment...even with medical advancements and expertise, there is an element of dumb luck involved that makes one feel powerless.  I'm not a religious or spiritual person at all, but I certainly don't begrudge anyone using faith to get them through the shittiness that is cancer, because if I had the personality for it, I'm sure faith would have been some comfort to me. What I cannot stand about Cathy and those like her, though, is the credit being given exclusively to god and ignoring the decades and millions of man hours that has gotten us where we are in cancer treatment. Don't insist that it was all god when you would have been dead if diagnosed even 5 years ago. What, is god kinder now that he was then? I know logic isn't her strong suit, but if she's grateful to god for being alive, does that mean she's understanding of those who are angry or no longer believe because their loved one dies of cancer? Because I highly doubt that. 

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3 minutes ago, Celia Rubenstein said:

What was Derrick's tweet in response to? Whatever the "cat came back" things was, it is is gone now ...

Someone he keeps blocking who keeps coming back using different names or accounts.

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So Cathy says she considers herself a “chemo survivor.”  In other words, she’s announcing that the awful thing that happened to her, the thing she is so relieved have survived, isn’t the cancer that nearly killed her but the chemo that helped to save her life.  What a horrible thing to say.  

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2 hours ago, On the Bias said:

So Cathy says she considers herself a “chemo survivor.”  In other words, she’s announcing that the awful thing that happened to her, the thing she is so relieved have survived, isn’t the cancer that nearly killed her but the chemo that helped to save her life.  What a horrible thing to say.  

Sometimes chemo is so brutal, to many people it feels worse than the disease, and in some cases, it is. I think it would have been ok to say she preferred to call herself a chemo survivor instead. For better or worse, Twitter limits your characters. She could easily tweet another tweet to be sure she clarified herself.

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3 minutes ago, Loves2Dance said:

What did it say? I missed it before he deleted it. 

Really... A lazy slacker who ask for donations saying some people have no life. Take a long hard look at yourself before making a statement like this one.

I think mine might have been the last post before it was deleted.

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23 hours ago, Arwen Evenstar said:

Sometimes chemo is so brutal, to many people it feels worse than the disease, and in some cases, it is. I think it would have been ok to say she preferred to call herself a chemo survivor instead. For better or worse, Twitter limits your characters. She could easily tweet another tweet to be sure she clarified herself.

I’m so sorry, @Arwen, I didn’t mean to imply that chemo isn’t rough or to discount your experience. What I was trying to get at was what I found so offensive about Cathy’s tweet:  that in implying that her chemo was an impediment to her survival rather than a cause of it, she implied that her doctors were harming her rather than healing her, and that she would have been better off if she had never consulted them at all.  But perhaps I’ve only put my foot deeper into my mouth!

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I’ve never had cancer, so I can’t say for sure. However. I have had some friends that did. Chemo is very hard on your body. It leaves aftereffects( which probably differ by person).  One friend has continuing numbness in her fingers and toes. One said even getting into the refrigerator for food  was  too cold. That friend had a Heart attack  because of the strain on his heart( chemo every 3 weeks for 2 years).  I’ve read that children who get it have lots of health issues as adults. So I think chemo survivor might be a valid term.   I do however think people who attempt treatment are Fighters! 

Edited by mythoughtis
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2 hours ago, mythoughtis said:

I’ve never had cancer, so I can’t say for sure. However. I have had some friends that did. Chemo is very hard on your body. It leaves aftereffects( which probably differ by person).  One friend has continuing numbness in her fingers and toes. One said even getting into the refrigerator for food  was  too cold. That friend had a Heart attack  because of the strain on his heart( chemo every 3 weeks for 2 years).  I’ve read that children who get it have lots of health issues as adults. So I think chemo survivor might be a valid term.   I do however think people who attempt treatment are Fighters! 

Ehhhh...I think 'Chemo Survivor' in the way Cathy wrote it is a slap in the face to those who didn't win their battles. 

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3 hours ago, On the Bias said:

I’m so sorry, @Arwen, I didn’t mean to imply that chemo isn’t rough or to discount your experience. What I was trying to get at was what I found so offensive about Cathy’s tweet:  that in implying that her chemo was an impediment to her survival rather than a cause of it, she implied that her doctors were harming her rather than healing her, and that she would have been better off if she had never consulted them at all.  But perhaps I’ve only put my foot deeper into my mouth!

No offense taken. I don’t think you offended anyone else, as posters here are kind and would understand no offense was meant.

 

21 minutes ago, Loves2Dance said:

Ehhhh...I think 'Chemo Survivor' in the way Cathy wrote it is a slap in the face to those who didn't win their battles. 

Considering you went through hell and back with your dx, so many people didn’t survive the prog you were given.

To the other cancer survivors on this board, you are all badasses!

Cathy should never demean the experiences of others. It’s a brotherhood/ sisterhood  I’ve met many beautiful, people in my inpatient clinic who I’m in awe of. Many of them are sicker than I could ever dream of being, yet they keep on keeping on.

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Chemo sucks. Many times cancer patients are brought to the brink of death to kill the cancer.  For many patients, including Cathy, these chemical cocktails are the path to survival. There are still cancers out there that are incurable and I'm sure folks with those cancers would love the option to "survive chemo". Words are powerful and when mixed with arrogance words can be down right mean. 

Even using the analogy of the man on the roof refusing rescue efforts because God's got this. There is someone else on another roof, praying just as hard, and rescuers never come. 

What would Cathy say about God if she lost a loved one to cancer? What are her thoughts of the many people who didn't "survive chemo"?

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Cathy probably would say the evilness took over, and the patient did not pray or read the bible enough, or worked hard to have people turn their life over to God. Remember she believes she will see her first husband in heaven because he found God before he died.

Edited by bigskygirl
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Hypocrisy hy·poc·ri·sy noun

The practice of claiming to have moral standards or beliefs to which one's own behavior does not conform; pretense. The practice of being a Duggar and Duggar adjacent.

Derick had to have watched the Superbowl to know nobody knelt, never mind the fact that watching sports is hypocritical for all Duggars.

JB & M drove miles out of the way to buy milk from a store that didn't also sell alcohol. Michelle even protested a local store that was applying for a license to sell alcohol. She wasn't protesting liquor stores she was protesting liquor being sold in local mom & pops.

Football has men in form fitted clothing and scantily clad cheerleaders. Using Duggar theory shouldn't they be avoiding sports and protesting what they wear? 

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Why does God inspire people to become doctors if God doesn't want doctors to heal people?

People could certainly find easier ways to get rich if that's all they wanted. Something that maybe doesn't require 20 or so years of school.

If God didn't want me to see doctors there wouldn't be doctors.

Stop blaming or crediting God for everything!  God gave us free will in the hope we would make decisions for ourselves!

God wants children not sheeple!

Rant over!  Thank you for your time!

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1 hour ago, Annb67 said:

I'm so confused. Im not watching but I don't see anyone kneeling while I am watching? Wth Derick?

To be fair, he could just watch the anthem to see whether there was kneeling or not and decide whether to watch the game itself based on that...

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