Jessa, Ben and Their Brood: Making a (Diaper) Mountain out of a Mold House

[GeeGolly]

I think Jinger must have chosen many of Jessa's better outfits back in the day. I don't hold out hope for Jessa being more tasteful this pregnancy because for one, I don't think she has a fashion gene and two, I think she enjoys wearing clothing during her pregnancies that would otherwise be considered immodest.

[galaxychaser]

I have never been to Walmart.

[Lunera]

Jessa seems pretty insecure this time around, I think she's gonna stick to shapeless, oversized dresses. 

[cmr2014]

44 minutes ago, Lunera said:

Jessa seems pretty insecure this time around, I think she's gonna stick to shapeless, oversized dresses. 

Jesus, she looks just awful. This is a special occasion for her, so I would expect her to look her best. Also, Jinger is there, too. If Jessa were going to take fashion advice from Jinger, or borrow maternity clothes from Jinger, now would be the time -- and look at her.

[PikaScrewChu]

16 hours ago, latetotheparty said:

If I remember correctly, Kendra was pre-marriage conception. Oops!

Yep. Kendra was one of those "preemies".

Thankfully none of the Duggars know how to math so they probably haven't figured it out yet.

[Christina87]

That dress is from old navy!!! I have a skirt in the exact same pattern. 

[Churchhoney]

6 minutes ago, Christina87 said:

That dress is from old navy!!! I have a skirt in the exact same pattern. 

She seems to like Old Navy. Nothing wrong with the dress. If she brushed her hair and had a nice little black cardigan or shrug that fit her instead of a camel grandpa sweater that looks like she stole it from an actual grandpa, she'd look just fine. 

Edited January 19, 2019 by Churchhoney

[cmr2014]

Just now, Churchhoney said:

She seems to like Old Navy. Nothing wrong with the dress. If she brushed her hair and had a nice little black cardigan that fit her instead of a camel grandpa sweater that looks like she stole it from an actual grandpa, she'd look just fine. 

And lose the damn leggings!

[Churchhoney]

4 minutes ago, cmr2014 said:

And lose the damn leggings!

Well, I was trying to work within her parameters!

But, yes! I think her outfit would be hugely improved if she went with no leggings and black pumps.  However, even with their "modesty" thing and the fact that she seems to wear the same pair of shoes for three or four years before moving on, she'd still look immeasurably better by just straightening the hair and switching out that remarkably non-fitting and inappropriate sweater, seems to me! 

Edited January 19, 2019 by Churchhoney

[GeeGolly]

Jessa goes from frump to skin tight as soon as it's obvious it's a baby bump and not a curvy tummy. I agree w/ @Churchhoney though, lose the sweater, do something with the scraggle and she'd look pretty good.

[BitterApple]

24 minutes ago, Churchhoney said:

She seems to like Old Navy. Nothing wrong with the dress. If she brushed her hair and had a nice little black cardigan or shrug that fit her instead of a camel grandpa sweater that looks like she stole it from an actual grandpa, she'd look just fine. 

I was thinking the same. The dress is cute. If Jessa styled it better and did something with her hair, she would've pulled it off well. 

[leighdear]

I can't see Jinger giving up any of her maternity clothes to Jessa.  Those cute & flattering looks would either end up in the communal closet of the TTH, or balled up on the floor of Jessa's hovel.  And I can't imagine Jeremy being in favor of that kind of exchange either.  

Jessa's "looks" seems to rely on skin-tight, forgettable knits that could get tossed in the washer & dryer, if she bothers.  It doesn't look to me like she cleans either her clothes or herself very often.   She's breeding away her looks.  Good thing her appearance isn't important anymore, since she's got her husband for life.  

[ChiCricket]

13 hours ago, floridamom said:

Jessa's expecting again? Time to go from the boxy, no shape clothing to the way too small, clingy shirts again. 

Maybe she'll be more 'modest' in her maternity wardrobe this time. She really looked awful previously.

I had forgotten just how tight her shirts were.

[Lunera]

30 minutes ago, ChiCricket said:

I had forgotten just how tight her shirts were.

Jill was the worst when it came to those skintight shirts. I've never seen her in a top smaller than an XL, when not pregnant. 

[Scarlett45]

3 hours ago, Lunera said:

Jill was the worst when it came to those skintight shirts. I've never seen her in a top smaller than an XL, when not pregnant. 

I think Jill looks fine. Like a “normal” 3rd trimester pregnant woman to me. 

 

Jessa’s top looks like she could’ve gone up a size. I guess people wouldn’t find their pregnancy looks so strange if they didn’t harp on “modesty” every moment they are not gestating. 

[FizzyPuff]

4 hours ago, ChiCricket said:

I had forgotten just how tight her shirts were.

NIKE! 

Seriously how is that considered modest? We can see everything!

jill looks fine to me though her top was clearly not skin tight unlike Jessa. 

Edited January 20, 2019 by Puffin

[Sew Sumi]

I remember that picture! They were in an airport, headed off to one of those Southern Women shows at which she appeared. I recall they canceled the last one which never should have been scheduled, two weeks from Spurge's due date.

[GeeGolly]

[heckkitty]

Tight top...check. Arched back... check.  Blergh. This is going to get old (again) soon. 

Edited January 20, 2019 by heckkitty

[GeeGolly]

And that picture of Jessa is the gray sweater was taken in the living room. She must have brought out a full length mirror and placed it on her couch, to get that picture. Just as intentional as Jeremy's and Jinger's photos, she just doesn't have eye for photo composition.

[Minivanessa]

Is that a recent photo? I checked her IG account today and it's not among the recent posts. 

Edited to add: I found it. It's part of a collage she posted in January 2017 when she was pregnant with Henry: 

Edited January 20, 2019 by Jeeves

[heckkitty]

Lol. Apparently she’s too lazy to take new pics for this baby?

 

or it’s gotten old?

Edited January 20, 2019 by heckkitty

[xwordfanatik]

It's a good thing Jessa and Jeremy didn't marry.  They would constantly fight one another for the mirror.

[Snow Fairy]

6 minutes ago, heckkitty said:

Lol. Apparently she’s too lazy to take new pics for this baby?

 

or it’s gotten old?

Baby bump still to small I guess

[truthtalk2014]

10 hours ago, GeeGolly said:

I see skin under that shirt - between her skirt and black bra.  Harlot!

[GeeGolly]

3 minutes ago, truthtalk2014 said:

I see skin under that shirt - between her skirt and black bra.  Harlot!

For the Fundy world she might as well be doing a Demi Moore or Kim Kardashian naked bump picture.

[Churchhoney]

28 minutes ago, GeeGolly said:

For the Fundy world she might as well be doing a Demi Moore or Kim Kardashian naked bump picture.

Well, it was rammed into their heads constantly as kids that THAT, and THAT ALONE, is woman's glory and entire worth on earth. And once that baby starts suckling you forget its name and hand it over to a seven-year-old to raise and educate. You spend your childhood and youth counting out some woman's fertility cycles on the fridge door and I guess these various neuroses and eccentricities of the Duggarling women are what you get.

Edited January 20, 2019 by Churchhoney

[Minivanessa]

59 minutes ago, heckkitty said:

Lol. Apparently she’s too lazy to take new pics for this baby?

or it’s gotten old?

Jessa hasn’t reposted this, or posted any bump flaunting pics, since the recent pregnancy announcement. Someone pulled it up and posted it here, I think in connection with the discussion of her crazy unmodest pregnancy wardrobe.

[Adeejay]

1 hour ago, heckkitty said:

Lol. Apparently she’s too lazy to take new pics for this baby?

 

or it’s gotten old?

 

Probably a combination of both.  And also, it wouldn't surprise me if there aren't as many pictures of Henry as there are of Spurge.  Most parents have lots of pictures and videos documenting the pregnancy and milestones for their first child; the others, not so much. 

[GeeGolly]

I think Jessa is only 3 months pregnant. Probably another month before she does a bump photo shoot.

[Sew Sumi]

51 minutes ago, Jeeves said:

Jessa hasn’t reposted this, or posted any bump flaunting pics, since the recent pregnancy announcement. Someone pulled it up and posted it here, I think in connection with the discussion of her crazy unmodest pregnancy wardrobe.

It was a 36 week bump comparison. Since she's nowhere near 36 weeks with this one, the point is really moot.

Edited January 20, 2019 by Sew Sumi

[Temperance]

1 hour ago, heckkitty said:

Lol. Apparently she’s too lazy to take new pics for this baby?

 

or it’s gotten old?

I think people are just posting old photos again here.  Please identify a new photo versus an old one it gets confusing for some of us. 

[Christina87]

17 hours ago, Scarlett45 said:

I think Jill looks fine. Like a “normal” 3rd trimester pregnant woman to me. 

 

Jessa’s top looks like she could’ve gone up a size. I guess people wouldn’t find their pregnancy looks so strange if they didn’t harp on “modesty” every moment they are not gestating. 

I personally just think Jessa's is worse because it's such a light color. If she wore a shirt like that in black, I don't think it would have looked quite that terrible. It's just so, so tight in addition to being a light color, while Jill's is just tight, but not quite a solid obnoxious (IMO) because it's darker. They both look terrible though!

[Christina87]

17 hours ago, Scarlett45 said:

I think Jill looks fine. Like a “normal” 3rd trimester pregnant woman to me. 

 

Jessa’s top looks like she could’ve gone up a size. I guess people wouldn’t find their pregnancy looks so strange if they didn’t harp on “modesty” every moment they are not gestating. 

I personally just think Jessa's is worse because it's such a light color. If she wore a shirt like that in black, I don't think it would have looked quite that terrible. It's just so, so tight in addition to being a light color, while Jill's is just tight, but not quite a solid obnoxious (IMO) because it's darker. They both look terrible though!

[louannems]

3 hours ago, GeeGolly said:

I think Jessa is only 3 months pregnant. Probably another month before she does a bump photo shoot.

Jessa said she's due in late spring, so end of June.  That would put her at 4 months.  Soon, she will be posing with Ben standing behind her, hand possessively on her belly, or posing sideways in the mirror, back arched, hand on her belly.  Or the pose I really hate: husband making heart hands over the fetus.

[farmgal4]

On 1/19/2019 at 7:54 PM, ChiCricket said:

I had forgotten just how tight her shirts were.

Ben looks 🔥 in that pic!

[yogi2014L]

40 minutes ago, louannems said:

Jessa said she's due in late spring, so end of June.  That would put her at 4 months.  Soon, she will be posing with Ben standing behind her, hand possessively on her belly, or posing sideways in the mirror, back arched, hand on her belly.  Or the pose I really hate: husband making heart hands over the fetus.

If she is due in late june she is more than halfway through ( 20+ weeks) and more than likely has a good size bump already considering it is her third pregnancy.

[Jynnan tonnix]

1 hour ago, Christina87 said:

I personally just think Jessa's is worse because it's such a light color. If she wore a shirt like that in black, I don't think it would have looked quite that terrible. It's just so, so tight in addition to being a light color, while Jill's is just tight, but not quite a solid obnoxious (IMO) because it's darker. They both look terrible though!

I find it hard to really label either of these (or, really, most of the Duggar photos) as actually "terrible". With the exception of maybe some of Jill's completely clueless compositions, I find most Duggar photos firmly in the "meh" category. I mean, I see pregnant women out and about dressed similarly on a fairly regular basis, and while those fashions are not what I would have worn back in the day, mostly because the big, billowy maternity clothes were still the thing, I don't actually stop in my tracks to bother thinking about how they look to me.

I remember my daughter, when she was  about 7 months pregnant, coming over for dinner once with a skin tight dress which I didn't think was very flattering, but she had just found the dress and obviously found it a boost to her self-confidence at that point, where she was too far along to use flowy tops sand cardigans as camouflage, and just show off the "bump" with flair and pride. And why not? I'd never think of criticizing her for it, anyway.

At any rate, I think an adjective such as "terrible" should be reserved for looks which are just way beyond the pale or truly disturbing in some way rather than a bit of a fashion faux pas. I'm pretty sure any one of us here has stepped out in something somewhere along the line, which would be labelled as "terrible" by someone who didn't particularly like us to start with.

3 minutes ago, yogi2014L said:

If she is due in late june she is more than halfway through ( 20+ weeks) and more than likely has a good size bump already considering it is her third pregnancy.

My third pregnancy was actually the one in which I carried the baby basically sitting somewhere in  the vicinity of my tailbone the entire time. Whereas with my first, people were asking me, anxiously,  when I was due by the time I was in my sixth month, I could get away with a swingy A-line dress and barely look pregnant pretty much into my eighth month with my third. She might just be carrying differently.

[Christina87]

8 minutes ago, Jynnan tonnix said:

I find it hard to really label either of these (or, really, most of the Duggar photos) as actually "terrible". With the exception of maybe some of Jill's completely clueless compositions, I find most Duggar photos firmly in the "meh" category. I mean, I see pregnant women out and about dressed similarly on a fairly regular basis, and while those fashions are not what I would have worn back in the day, mostly because the big, billowy maternity clothes were still the thing, I don't actually stop in my tracks to bother thinking about how they look to me.

I remember my daughter, when she was  about 7 months pregnant, coming over for dinner once with a skin tight dress which I didn't think was very flattering, but she had just found the dress and obviously found it a boost to her self-confidence at that point, where she was too far along to use flowy tops sand cardigans as camouflage, and just show off the "bump" with flair and pride. And why not? I'd never think of criticizing her for it, anyway.

At any rate, I think an adjective such as "terrible" should be reserved for looks which are just way beyond the pale or truly disturbing in some way rather than a bit of a fashion faux pas. I'm pretty sure any one of us here has stepped out in something somewhere along the line, which would be labelled as "terrible" by someone who didn't particularly like us to start with.

My third pregnancy was actually the one in which I carried the baby basically sitting somewhere in  the vicinity of my tailbone the entire time. Whereas with my first, people were asking me, anxiously,  when I was due by the time I was in my sixth month, I could get away with a swingy A-line dress and barely look pregnant pretty much into my eighth month with my third. She might just be carrying differently.

Sorry, didn't mean to be mean! I actually don't dislike Jessa, and while I do dislike Jill, I feel bad for her too. I was writing in a hurry and just said the first word that came to my mind. I don't think either look is flattering, but I would never want them to think they're ugly. And I just happen to come to a family where if my mom could see the outline of your body, the outfit was "skin tight," so I would never, ever, ever, ever wear something this tight, and would be braced to hear about how awful I looked the second I saw my mom. Wearing skin tight clothes isn't taboo to everyone though, and sorry if I didn't use the right words!

[Jynnan tonnix]

2 minutes ago, Christina87 said:

Sorry, didn't mean to be mean! I actually don't dislike Jessa, and while I do dislike Jill, I feel bad for her too. I was writing in a hurry and just said the first word that came to my mind. I don't think either look is flattering, but I would never want them to think they're ugly. And I just happen to come to a family where if my mom could see the outline of your body, the outfit was "skin tight," so I would never, ever, ever, ever wear something this tight, and would be braced to hear about how awful I looked the second I saw my mom. Wearing skin tight clothes isn't taboo to everyone though, and sorry if I didn't use the right words!

No big deal...it's just that I see that so often, here and elsewhere, where people get so critical of every little thing connected with someone they don't like, while managing to remain blind to more or less exactly the same kinds of things when it comes to friends or people they agree with. And as much as I love to snark on the Duggars with the best of you lot, sometimes it just strikes me that there's a bit more of a double standard there than there strictly should be.

[Christina87]

4 minutes ago, Jynnan tonnix said:

No big deal...it's just that I see that so often, here and elsewhere, where people get so critical of every little thing connected with someone they don't like, while managing to remain blind to more or less exactly the same kinds of things when it comes to friends or people they agree with. And as much as I love to snark on the Duggars with the best of you lot, sometimes it just strikes me that there's a bit more of a double standard there than there strictly should be.

Oh, I completely agree! I hate the look in general, though, even if my best friend wore it. I think skin tight clothes shouldn't be worn ever while pregnant unless they are a dark color and/or thicker fabric. I think thin cotton fabric in a light color over any pregnant woman would not be flattering. But I agree with you that sometimes people go too far with picking on every little thing, when plenty of other people do those things in society!

FWIW if they want to wear skin tight clothes during maternity, I think something like this looks very classy! It's in a Nordstrom ad, so it's obviously expensive, but it's a well made, structured dress in a thicker fabric, and IMO looks acceptable, even though just as tight. 

FWIW if they want to wear skin tight clothes during maternity, I think something like this looks very classy! It's in a Nordstrom ad, so it's obviously expensive, but it's a well made, structured dress in a thicker fabric, and IMO looks acceptable, even though just as tight. 

FWIW if they want to wear skin tight clothes during maternity, I think something like this looks very classy! It's in a Nordstrom ad, so it's obviously expensive, but it's a well made, structured dress in a thicker fabric, and IMO looks acceptable, even though just as tight. 

[ChiCricket]

4 hours ago, Temperance said:

I think people are just posting old photos again here.  Please identify a new photo versus an old one it gets confusing for some of us. 

You're right, I should have. 😊

 This was from People™ magazine on  August 13, 2015

 

 

Edited January 21, 2019 by ChiCricket

[ChiCricket]

18 minutes ago, Jynnan tonnix said:

No big deal...it's just that I see that so often, here and elsewhere, where people get so critical of every little thing connected with someone they don't like, while managing to remain blind to more or less exactly the same kinds of things when it comes to friends or people they agree with. And as much as I love to snark on the Duggars with the best of you lot, sometimes it just strikes me that there's a bit more of a double standard there than there strictly should be.

I think the difference for me is that they always emphasized how 'modest' they were. Showing every line of your body just because you had sex and got preggers just does not seem modest to me. YMMV 🙃

Edited January 21, 2019 by ChiCricket

[Churchhoney]

24 minutes ago, ChiCricket said:

I think the difference for me is that they always emphasized how 'modest' they were. Showing every line of your body just because you had sex and got preggers just does not seem modest to me. YMMV 🙃

 

The problem is that I'm sure the Duggarling women and girls sometimes want to feel sexy and slinky just like everybody else, deep down inside their warped and beaten-down little brains. .... But thanks to the family nuttiness they never ever ever ever ever get the chance -- except when they're pregnant and they can show everything off. 

So, honestly, I think it'd be remarkable if none of them took that opportunity. 

I'm sure they don't put two and two together and really understand what they're doing. But imagine being Jessa, especially, the "hot girl" in the family....Hot girl though you may be, you never ever ever -- through all your teen years and your early 20s -- ever get to look and feel the part of a hot girl...........In fact, you're forced, all the damn time, to wear layers and layers of clothing, full calf-length skirts over leggings and collars up high and never a sleeveless item to be found....You can't even wear damn embroidery on your shirt because somebody might look at your chest! Or go out to the store on your own and walk slowly in a nice outfit and hope some guy ogles you. You're not only swathed in 10 layers of clothing all the time but you have ratfink body guards with you.

BUT -- there is a loophole.....If you're pregnant, you'll get absolutely no crap from anyone if you repeatedly pose in front of the mirror in a skin-tight outfit, making duck lips and arching your back and photographing yourself and sending this hot-girl picture out into the world. Because when you do that you're advertising your family's oh-so-holy fertility for Jesus. Yay!..........

Of course you're going to do that. Because a primal desire of yours has otherwise been cruelly thwarted for your whole damn life, and right now you have the only chance you'll ever have to get around it............And it's the best of all possible worlds because you won't even need to consciously realize what you're doing. You can go right on believing that for your whole life you have always always always been super-godly and modest to the core. 

No wonder Jessa has taken all those pictures. 

Edited January 21, 2019 by Churchhoney

[Normades]

I know many may disagree with me, but personally, I don't want to see pregnant belly buttons popping out.  I wore nice maternity clothes and there were some that accentuated my bump, but I never wore anything skin tight or with thin fabric.  I think you can show off your body if  you're feeling pretty and sexy without being tacky.  The Duggars will never get a handle on that.

Edited January 21, 2019 by Normades
old age

[ChiCricket]

OT, but you know you're really old when you try to find pictures online of the kind of maternity wear you wore back in the day, and all the pics you can find are only in black and white.🙄

Edited January 21, 2019 by ChiCricket

[Absolom]

I think many of Jessa's and Jill's maternity outfits were really bad.  I don't mind saying that and if a daughter of mine showed up in one of them, I'd offer to take her shopping.  I don't like the skin tight trend at all regardless of who is wearing it.  Even worse is the stretching out of regular clothes rather than buying maternity wear.  It almost always ends up looking like what it is - overstretched and ill-fitting.  I'm hopeful that after Jessa saw Jinger in some nice maternity wear that perhaps she'll find something better this round.

[GeeGolly]

The Duggar family and then the four oldest Duggar girls have talked, written and posted about wearing modest and modern modest clothing. They went so far as explaining how they cut the shelf bra out of tank-tops and they modeled many outfits from the communal closet. The clothing they wore during their pregnancies broke all the rules. It's the unexplained contradictions that jump out at me. If they didn't spend so much time touting their specific ways then I'm guessing it wouldn't be that noticeable. 

Maybe Jessa and Jill wanted to feel feminine or even sexy, but again they've touted following beliefs where they make sacrifices. They still, as adults tout these things.

I watched an episode of Bringing Up Bates recently. Kelly, 2 daughters and a DIL went to NY. They all wore fitted, short black dresses and Josie tried on a wedding dress with a flesh lining. No ragged tank top up to her neck shining the spotlight on modesty in sight. Although the Bates have loosely discussed loosening the rules, they are like the Duggars in acting as if everything is status quo too.

Nothing the Duggar girls or Bates girls are wearing these days is out of the norm for average folks. But average folks haven't made a living (and lifestyle) out of wearing the complete opposite.

[Churchhoney]

10 hours ago, Normades said:

I know many may disagree with me, but personally, I don't want to see pregnant belly buttons popping out.  I wore nice maternity clothes and there were some that accentuated my bump, but I never wore anything skin tight or with thin fabric.  I think you can show off your body if  you're feeling pretty and sexy without being tacky.  The Duggars will never get a handle on that.

 

I agree. But it's probably a stretch to ask any child of Jim Bob Duggar to not be tacky!

Edited January 21, 2019 by Churchhoney

[Churchhoney]

5 hours ago, GeeGolly said:

The Duggar family and then the four oldest Duggar girls have talked, written and posted about wearing modest and modern modest clothing. They went so far as explaining how they cut the shelf bra out of tank-tops and they modeled many outfits from the communal closet. The clothing they wore during their pregnancies broke all the rules. It's the unexplained contradictions that jump out at me. If they didn't spend so much time touting their specific ways then I'm guessing it wouldn't be that noticeable. 

Maybe Jessa and Jill wanted to feel feminine or even sexy, but again they've touted following beliefs where they make sacrifices. They still, as adults tout these things.

I watched an episode of Bringing Up Bates recently. Kelly, 2 daughters and a DIL went to NY. They all wore fitted, short black dresses and Josie tried on a wedding dress with a flesh lining. No ragged tank top up to her neck shining the spotlight on modesty in sight. Although the Bates have loosely discussed loosening the rules, they are like the Duggars in acting as if everything is status quo too.

Nothing the Duggar girls or Bates girls are wearing these days is out of the norm for average folks. But average folks haven't made a living (and lifestyle) out of wearing the complete opposite.

Here's my take on Duggarling inconsistencies and hypocrisies, especially when it comes to the hot-button issue -- sexuality, in all its facets.

Their minds have been warped and utterly blinded by the life they've led and by the near-insane parents who've raised them and the further training-in-lies they've received from being in the Gothard cult and then living out nearly their whole lives on UNreality television. They don't know what they're doing. They're acting out all kinds of shit related to the stuff that they've been forced to repress their whole lives and all the many many many many many many many lies they've been directed and forced to swallow and to tell, and when you're doing that logic and consistency have no sway at all! 

They've spent their whole lives in an unnatural horror-shit-show that's completely dominated by lies lies lies lies lies. And despite having lived in a hideous environment with parents who don't have a single clue how to love or care for their kids, they've been brainwashed into swallowing the idea that it was, in fact, the ideal environment and that they're more rational, healthy, educated and prepared for a great adulthood than anyone else in the world. In fact, all they are are a pile of people who are completely programmed to embrace and believe a giant giant pile of their  own and their parents' lies. 

I was raised in some shit that was very similar in the bad ways (though quite different in detail and culture) and when I got out I did every damn thing backwards and upside down and contrary wise and totally contrary to what I claimed to be doing for YEARS.....

And I was like that despite probably having an IQ twice that of the Duggars, getting out on purpose, craving education and getting as much of it as I could, becoming a devotee of counseling and therapy and getting a bunch of it, reading everything I could find about how to heal and get past such a mess, going to 12-step groups, going far away from the family and living away from them while making many actual friends in the real world....and having been smart enough to see through the home-fires bullshit from the time I was a tiny child.....AND YET....although I always saw a lot of the truth and fought against it my whole life, I still emerged as a victim of the brainwashing and gaslighting who was nutso in the extreme, neurotic as hell and inconsistent as all get out and highly confused about everything in my life for many years.

And this was the result for somebody very very smart and very very strong. The Duggarlings, by contrast, all appear to me to be pretty weak and dull by nature. AND they're almost all still living right in the stew of falsity they grew up in AND their livelihood has depended on buying the bullshit their parents are selling. (about every topic under the sun, but especially about sexuality and how women should behave...)

Now obviously this is all the lens I'm looking through. But what I know from my real-life experience is that every time I've thought I was looking at a situation similar to the one I was raised in, it's eventually turned out that, yes, it was. And I know firsthand what a mess such a situation can make of your mind and your behavior. How stuff you'd repressed and didn't even know about can come out in your behavior in ways that seem normal to you at the time and then horrify you later when you've moved forward and can see more clearly.... 

The difference between me and most of the Duggars, though, is that they'll most likely never figure things out. They'll go right on taking photos of their pregnant selves in skintight garments and duck lips while firmly and sincerely believing that they're the most modest dressers on the planet. .... And they'll do this not because they're bad people and conscious hypocrites but because the life of lies they've lived since birth has made them into giant unconscious liars themselves -- especially about anything related to sexuality. And because they're not bright or unhappy or brave enough to realize what messes they are and go away and find help for their condition. 

I just don't believe they can be judged by normal standards, unfortunately. 

Edited January 21, 2019 by Churchhoney