S08.E16: The Countess Bride

[Tara Ariano]

Quote

Gambling, dancing and dining lift spirits for the ladies at the Mohegan Sun casino. Also: Carole and Adam discuss their future; conflicting discussions surround plans for LuAnn's engagement dinner; Bethenny packs for an ill-advised trip; and a new getaway is announced.

[bosawks]

Just the idea of Aerobics Instructor Dorinda is the BRAVO version of rainbows, puppy dogs and unicorns!

[Petunia13]

Sonya shading LuAnn's ring sounds so jealous and pathetic. Look just because it ain't made out of paste and Sharpie ink....

[WireWrap]

Wow, Sonja's bitter jealously really showed it's ugly head tonight, even she had a hard time denying it in her TH.

[Sheenieb]

Oooh wee, there was so much saltiness in this episode that I'm sure Morton's stock must've skyrocketed.

Jules is harmless, but I wouldn't want to be around her too much, either. I don't find being helpless and clueless cute. Paying $2,000 for someone to potty train your child? Wish I had money like that to burn. Jules, to me, is a slightly more irritating Porsha Stewart from RHOATL. Women who were raised to be empty-headed and snag a rich dude.

Sonja needs to have such a seat. Lu's ring is a murky yellow diamond? WTF! I would've expected that from Ramona.

[Bronzedog]

I was pretty bored.  Let's see - I'm a cheap Sagittarian so I don't gamble, 2).  Enough with babies crapping on these shows, and, 3). I thought Luanne's ring was really ugly.  That's all I got.

[WireWrap]

Tonight's episode was weird, a very disjointed, a cut and paste episode. Ramona's big trip got all of 5 or so minutes on the show, Bethenny goes to bed and the cameras seemed to follow. It felt like they took bits and pieces of film that wouldn't even make the "Unseen footage" show tonight as a filler episode. Something is off, big time off with the cast and it is showing.

[escatefromny]

Less Beth is more.  This episode was so much less rage inducing.

Green is not a good color for Sonja.  You can see the wheels turning in her head and feel the kick she's giving herself for not having seei Tom "in that way" and snagging him herself.  Oh, and of course, the bald jealousy that Lu managed it.

The gamber in me calls foul on the fake blackjack game.   If you try to touch the cards at a black jack table, you get scolded pretty quick.  And Ramona and Sonja dancing in the empty bar was pretty sad.

Both Ramona's 'knee jerk instinct to walk out of the store in the vest and not pay for it and Dorinda's pilfering of the Splenda still have me chuckling.

[SweetieDarling]

Why did Bethenny need to go to Colorado for Bryn to learn to ski?  There are plenty of ski resorts in the Northeast. 

[Sai]

24 minutes ago, Sheenieb said:

 

Sonja needs to have such a seat. Lu's ring is a murky yellow diamond? WTF! I would've expected that from Ramona.

I'm with Sonja on this one.  It was murky yellow and ass ugly too.  I just don't understand colored diamonds.  

[Higgins]

Yellow diamonds are dirty diamonds. That ring was 8 carats of ugly.

[TexasGal]

Yeah, that was one cloudy diamond.  Reminded me of my reaction, which I was not proud of, when an acquaintance got engaged and was flashing this ring and I said to some friends, that is not a real diamond.  It was big but had no fire in it at all.  Fast forward a few months and the wedding never happened and lo and behold, she found out it was a cz.

When I hear Moaner's tag line this year, I have this internal conversation where I say - Ramona, wines get better with AGE not time but of course you don't want to say age - and then I can hear her crazy voice in my head rambling about how time and age are the same thing etc.. I need a life, apparently. 

[archer1267]

Ok, how does Jules not know the right way to wipe??

Sonja's reaction to Hawaii was laughably underwhelming. It's not the ritzy type of place where people from her past will be hanging out on their yachts. She did a quick mental inventory and realized she had nothing.

Has Bethenny stopped bleeding yet? Call me old fashioned but I don't think Bryn needs to know that Mommy bleeds when she pees.

[SweetPickle]

Jules doesn't know how to wipe properly?!?!? Even if you don't, and I find that disturbing and alarming, would you admit that on national television? My. God. 

[poeticlicensed]

I thought Luann's ring was beautiful. I love colored stones. The look on Sonja's face said it all. Too funny. 

Beth doesn't need to go to Aspen to have her kid learn to ski. 

Jules doesn't know how to wipe? Oy vey

[Mondrianyone]

Sonja's comment about Lu's ring was really women at their worst.  Made me ashamed for her.

That said, if I were Lu, I would get that rock to an appraiser toot-sweet (or tout de suite if you're the Countess in French mode).  I've seen too many that look just like it on HLN*.  And didn't Slade recycle a yellow "diamond" among several of his Housewives?

I knew I was in the wrong business.  I'm gonna open a branch office of Piss and Poop Academy north of the city.  I can do both those things.  How hard could they be to teach?

*That should be HSN (Home Shopping Network).  They aren't selling a lot of CZs on HeadLine News!

Edited July 21, 2016 by Mondrianyone
Wrong channel!

[izabella]

That was an awkward conversation between Carole and Adam about the book.  When Carole said if they sold it now, it wouldn't be published for a year, the look on Adam's face was priceless.  I could see the thought bubble above his head..."A year from now?  I've never thought that far ahead..."

Edited July 21, 2016 by izabella

[Petunia13]

I think colored stones for engagement rings are chic. I love when people have an emerald or sapphire or something with a hint of edge. My ring was a boring cookie cutter one -a white diamond 1 carat princess cut. But it really is the thought that counts, I would never dream of snarking on someone's ring but I'm not a gold digger or pressed like Sonya. I think she's realizing her window is closing if she wants a sugar daddy or to be a trophy wife. 

Is $2,000 the going rate to potty train a toddler? I guess it depends on how many mornings and afternoons you have to be there for however many weeks which would interfere with holding a normie job in expensive ass Manhattan. I always think back to Heath Ledger as the Joker's line in the Dark Knight when it comes to negotiation. "If you're good at something, never do it for free." I interpret it as if you kick ass at something and they obviously want/need that ability, ask for as much as you want shamelessly. The worst they can do is counter the number or say no. Which they probably won't. But the high number will influence them into thinking you're worth it when it comes to those kind of odd jobs. 

[Higgins]

I like a colored precious stone engagement ring too. That ring, however, was occluded and brassy. Who wants an 8 carat dirty stone? Give me a 0.5 carat, clarity over size any day.

Edited July 21, 2016 by Higgins
can't type worth shit

[archer1267]

Quote

Why did Bethenny need to go to Colorado for Bryn to learn to ski?  There are plenty of ski resorts in the Northeast. 

Because it's not as chic to take your kid to Hunter Mountain. I remember when Bethenny snarked about Kelly Bensimon hanging out "with the fabulosity crowd" but she's become the same way. The beautiful people ski in Colorado. She wants to make sure she's photographed in the right place.

[zoeysmom]

2 minutes ago, Higgins said:

I like a colored precious stone engagement ring too. That ring, however, was occluded and brassy. Who wants an 8 carat dirty stone? Give me a 0.5 carat, clarity over size any day.

Can we really trust what Bravo puts out there film wise?  I doubt Luann accepted some crap ring.

[breezy424]

Well that was a quick trip to a casino....  Kinda pathetic.  There was no fun... Was that a bathroom on the bus?  I guess that was for you Beth so you don't pee on the side of the road or bleed ALL over the bus.

Sonja was throwing major shade.  I think Sonja would love to have someone with some money put a ring on it.  Carole was quite lovely to Lu at the party.

I'm not going to determine the quality of Lu's ring based on what is seen on a TV screen.

It just seemed like mostly a disjointed filler episode.

Oh and Jules:  You need to read a book or google about potty training.  Do a little research.  It's a lot cheaper than two grand.

[100PercentPain]

Carole's scene with Adam was awkward to watch. I can't put my finger on why, but it was. Might have been Carole's incessant trying-to-be-cool-and-casual-but-really-lowkey-hoping-for-any-sign-that-Adam-expects-to-be-with-her-in-a-year cutesy talk. Might have been the total uncertainty about whether or not they'll be dating in a year. I'm not sure. 

[Rainny]

1 minute ago, 100PercentPain said:

Carole's scene with Adam was awkward to watch. I can't put my finger on why, but it was. Might have been Carole's incessant trying-to-be-cool-and-casual-but-really-lowkey-hoping-for-any-sign-that-Adam-expects-to-be-with-her-in-a-year cutesy talk. Might have been the total uncertainty about whether or not they'll be dating in a year. I'm not sure. 

Seemed like Carole was trying too hard to get Adam to say how happy he is with her and how happy he is in the relationship on camera. 

[ScoobieDoobs]

Jeez, what a boring ep.  Mohegan Sun?  Idk, not a great setting for these broads to entertain us. Zzzzzzz.  

So Bethenny says, now that she's got dough, that's why she doesn't wanna gamble?  Really, Bethenny?  Oh let's face it, when she isn't a bitter, horrible, nasty, cruel, thoughtless, self-absorbed, rage-&-hate-spewing Godzilla monster, she's really pretty fuckin' boring, ain't she?  Sense of humor?  Uh, zippo, gone, non-existent.

Is there a more boring couple on the face of the planet than Carole & Adam?  Honestly, I have no idea what she sees in him.  He has the personality of an eggplant.  Dead, dead, dead.  I'm not even seeing what she might find attractive about him.  He looks scuzzy to me.  Can someone please remind me why the fuck Carole is still on this show?  With the Bethenny monster gone, Carole serves absolutely no purpose, other than putting me to sleep.

Yeah, who could forget the yellow diamond ring Gretch got from Slade?  I saw the same one on JTV for 60 bucks.  Lu, hun, you go get that ring appraised quick.  Sonja, your comments were lowball, bitchy & reeked of jealousy.  Ew.  Oh Sonja, did Moaner whisper those shitty comments in your ear first & you were merely parroting Moaner?  Now, that I could believe, cuz otherwise . . . ew.

Oh thanks, Jules, I knew there was a reason I'm still watching.  The Bethenny monster disappeared in this ep, so I can't complain about that.  But oh my goodness, how helpful of Jules' potty teacher to tell us the correct direction to wipe ourselves.  Wow, thanks.  Except I pretty much already knew that.  Interesting that Jules didn't.  Um, OK then, Jules.

Edited July 21, 2016 by ScoobieDoobs

[Bronzedog]

Adam's voice isn't even attractive.  They may last forever because he may not have the energy to leave.

[Lopethina]

Luann said, "I've putten it behind me."  I thought, wait, no, that can't be right, did she say I'm putting?  Rewind, lipread...yup, I've putten.

[ElDosEquis]

21 minutes ago, izabella said:

That was an awkward conversation between Carole and Adam about the book.  When Carole said if they sold it now, it wouldn't be published for a year, the look on Adam's face was priceless.  I could see the thought bubble above his head..."A year from now?  I've never thought that far ahead..."

If he had a hot tub time machine, he could find out?

I have always enjoyed women looking at a ring of a newly engaged gal and the whole range of emotions it brings out..Happiness, hate, jelousy, greed.....

[chewycandy]

Can someone tell Carole to stop wearing chokers?

Though I can deal without the poopy stuff, Rio's a cutie. 

[ElDosEquis]

How to potty train a kid and a dog.

When they wake up, throw the pet outdoors (You can't do it with the kid) or take the kid to the crapper.

After they do their business, praise them and carry on. Keep doing it until they get it right.

Send me 1,500 dollars. Use the other five hundred on yourself.....

[breezy424]

On another note, Beth didn't win any Bravo Awards tonight.  I think she was nominated in two categories.  Apologies to the mods for going off subject.  Dorinda was there but didn't win in her category.  She presented.

(And Tre apparently refused to move down off the couch to the back row as other winners came into the clubhouse.  She won the first catagory)

[Knuckles]

I really felt for Jules' child in that episode. This is the kind of thing kids will hammer her daughter with in school...and yes, they will find it. Parents used to just embarrass their kids with shots of a naked baby on a rug...but this is unfair to the child. And, isn't this something a parent should manage together with her child...I've somewhat vague on this, but I recall from college psych 101 that toilet training is a big deal in child development...not a public spectacle. Of course, it turns out Jules is clueless on basic hygiene...I just can't with this.

Sonja, at first trying to stop Ramona from getting into Tom's business, surprisingly showing some sense. But when jealousy stalks your soul, and you are at a party, try to keep your game face on...Sonja, major, major fail.

Lu looked great and very happy. She also looks like she trusts her coworkers not at all, but she is willing to play along...which is good office politics. I would not trust any of these women either.  I also suspect that Carole knows she is being hammered on social media, and is trying to make nice...and she made a decent show of it. But she bores me to tears, as does Andrew...and that any editor would waste time with her is somewhat surprising, but I suspect it is not the cookbook but the chance that a Howives tell-all or tie in possibility that makes said editor not want to drop her entirely.

And spare me from Beth's talking heads...I just mute the sound and hope she goes away.

[breezy424]

3 minutes ago, chewycandy said:

Can someone tell Carole to stop wearing chokers?

Though I can deal without the poopy stuff, Rio's a cutie. 

Chokers are in right now.  I'm just the messenger...

[AnnaMayWong]

Thank ye ❗Thank ye❗       We were spared the resultant stippling of BetheMe!Me!Me!'s rapid-fire sad maniacal jive-talking/incorrigible razings, and her tiresome attempts at presentation as a woman of conscience; a prisoner of others' provocations and happenstance.                                                                            

Poor pitiful Sonja. She's...Mmm Mmm...Bethenney™-ass-lickin'-good.                                                    (Sonja ✖ 2) + Ramona ="You (Jealous) Bitches".   

 

* 'Potty Training Consultant' ??? {blink blink blink} Correct way to wipe??? {blink blink blink} *

Edited July 21, 2016 by BookElitist

[Bronzedog]

18 minutes ago, ElDosEquis said:

How to potty train a kid and a dog.

When they wake up, throw the pet outdoors (You can't do it with the kid) or take the kid to the crapper.

After they do their business, praise them and carry on. Keep doing it until they get it right.

Send me 1,500 dollars. Use the other five hundred on yourself.....

My dog was trained to use his dog door while I was at work by getting curious, going thru it, apparently thought he fell out of the side of the house, freaked out, my neighbor noticed him, climbed the fence and got him back thru the door.  Don't know if that would work for a kid but you might want to incorporate it into your training if you want to start a potty training business.  My neighbor moved though so you can't use him.

Edited July 21, 2016 by Bronzedog

[ElDosEquis]

3 minutes ago, Bronzedog said:

My dog was trained to use his dog door while I was at work by getting curious, going thru it, apparently thought he fell out of the side of the house, freaked out, my neighbor noticed him, climbed the fence and got him back thru the door.  Don't know if that would work for a kid but you might want to incorporate into you training if you want to start a potty training business.  My neighbor moved though so you can't use him.

Whoa, If you tie a rope on the kid's ankle, you can reel them in after they are done.

Brilliant!!!!

[Bronzedog]

That's what I'm saying!

[HunterHunted]

Chokers are in right now. They look terrible on everyone and they're doing Carole no favors.

http://www.harpersbazaar.com/fashion/trends/g6667/choker-necklace-shopping/

http://www.marieclaire.co.uk/news/fashion/552432/celebrities-wearing-chokers-spring-2016-kendall-jenner-rosie-huntington-whiteley-and-more.html

This is the shit that Jules does that drives me up the wall: asking Michael to put money in her account (as Dorinda said, do that shit on the sly) and not knowing which way to wipe. I'm going to ignore paying someone $2000 to potty train your child because I'm going to chalk that up to things rich folks do.

Diamonds are not rare. Yellow and brown are the most common colors. If Lu likes it and is happy, then whatever.

Just call Sonja Dead Sea because she was so damn salty.

[ElDosEquis]

7 minutes ago, BookElitist said:

Thank ye ❗Thank ye❗       We were spared the resultant stippling of BetheMe!Me!Me!'s rapid-fire sad maniacal jive-talking/incorrigible razings, and her tiresome attempts at presentation as a woman of conscience; a prisoner of others' provocations and happenstance.                                                                            

Poor pitiful Sonja. She's...Mmm Mmm...Bethenney™-ass-lickin'-good.                                        

(Sonja ✖ 2) + Ramona ="You(Jealous) Bitches".   

'Potty Training Consultant' ??? {blink blink blink} Correct way to wipe??? {blink blink blink}

You made me laugh.

As my mom got older, her 'filters' slowly eroded and she would blurt out stuff that was highly entertaining - only from the standpoint that is was true and cuss words always are funny when they come out of a 4 foot 11, 95 pound woman.

Her favorite was "ass licker" - mostly for politicians and people that were 'yes men'. I would cringe and tell her that it wasn't polite to use that term, then we'd both laugh like maniacs.......

[chewycandy]

I'm more interested in the ring Lu wears on her right hand middle finger. She wears it in every episode. She wore it in "Before They Were Housewives." Maybe I should call up on WWHL and ask...lol.

[smores]

Lu's ring is not my taste at all, but I'm not a fan of diamonds as a rule.  I have one, but that's because it was a family ring, and I figure if someone was going to give us a ring for free, and it had sentimental value already, it was stupid to turn it down just because I would have liked a different stone.  That said, Sonja was a raging bitch for saying what she did about Lu's ring.  WTF? Lu's ring is bad because Sonja's ring was x,y z?  That's like saying my BFF's ring is wrong because, well, MY ring is, x, y, and z.  Those qualities may make my ring perfect, but that only makes it perfect for me.  My BFF may not give 2 shits about it and think it's the ugliest thing she ever saw.

[Thumper]

I feel like Carole is guarding her heart with what she says to Adam.  We only see part of their relationship, anyhow.

I'm not into huge rocks, so Lu's ring is "pretty" to me.  She seems deliriously happy, which is fun to see.

[UsernameFatigue]

I guess the trip to casino wasn't worth showing (at least much of) as apparently everyone got along swimmingly. And Bethenny was there. How is that possible? 

Sonja had the best line of the night when she declared that a New Years wedding was too far away as LuAnn might be engaged to another guy by then. Too true! I did get a laugh out of LuAnn saying that she hasn't been apart from Tom for the last three months. But they got engaged after less than two months of dating, and it seems the engagement party was right after she got engaged? I guess it just seems like three months. 

I was confused at Lu's telling of the actual proposal as she said Tom proposed inside in front of the fireplace. But then she showed a pic of them outside in the snow and he is down on one knee. Maybe he had to do it again for cameras. Tom does seem to like cameras. I agree that the ring was ugly but then I hate yellow diamonds. I remember when they first became popular (for a short time) in the mid 70s and a friend got one. I thought it was ugly and have yet to see one that isn't. Carole's gift was very sweet. 

It never ceases to amaze me what people will pay for (and what people declare themselves to be experts at). But I guess the $2000 for two days was a bargain considering the consultant also taught Jules the correct way to wipe. Because at 30 something she had no idea. Not surprised. 

[WireWrap]

1 minute ago, UsernameFatigue said:

I guess the trip to casino wasn't worth showing (at least much of) as apparently everyone got along swimmingly. And Bethenny was there. How is that possible? 

 

Because Bethenny went to bed early! LOL

[breezy424]

So Beth says that when you don't have any money and go to a casino, the philosophy is what's another $1200 on the credit card but when you're 'successful' $50 is a big deal?  I wonder how much money she spent on her child's ski clothes that she'll outgrow by the next time they'll go skiing.  I just felt that it was a dumb arrogant statement...or a chance to say that people with money (aka me) are smarter.  Hm...

Yeah, not getting Lu's version of the proposal and then showing a picture of a completely different version of the proposal.  Did I not understand?

[izabella]

1 hour ago, archer1267 said:

Has Bethenny stopped bleeding yet? Call me old fashioned but I don't think Bryn needs to know that Mommy bleeds when she pees.

She was feeling good enough to do a headstand.

[breezy424]

4 minutes ago, izabella said:

She was feeling good enough to do a headstand.

It's amazing what a person can overcome when they can demonstrate how great they are at something. 

[bref]

1 hour ago, TexasGal said:

When I hear Moaner's tag line this year, I have this internal conversation where I say - Ramona, wines get better with AGE not time but of course you don't want to say age - and then I can hear her crazy voice in my head rambling about how time and age are the same thing etc.. I need a life, apparently. 

Haha, apparently I do too then because I LITERALLY had the exact same thought process tonight! Not sure why it struck me for the first time but yeah.

Could the "get lei'd" joke BE any more hackneyed?

[Talky Tina]

I don't have children but I had custody of my niece for the first 12 years of her life, I was also working full time and finishing up my degree in civil engineering.  I managed to potty train her without paying a stranger to do it.   Why would anybody want to show an innocent child's potty issues on TV? I know the girl is still very young but she still deserves privacy. No amount of money can ever make that ok in my opinion. 

I'm not a regular viewer so maybe I'm unaware of a job or physical limitation that prevents Jules from potty training her own child herself but I don't think so. 

[zoeysmom]

4 minutes ago, Talky Tina said:

I don't have children but I had custody of my niece for the first 12 years of her life, I was also working full time and finishing up my degree in civil engineering.  I managed to potty train her without paying a stranger to do it.   Why would anybody want to show an innocent child's potty issues on TV? I know the girl is still very young but she still deserves privacy. No amount of money can ever make that ok in my opinion. 

I'm not a regular viewer so maybe I'm unaware of a job or physical limitation that prevents Jules from potty training her own child herself but I don't think so. 

Bravo likes all kinds of potty.  Be it dog, kids or Bethenny's. There was another show on Bravo and the woman (mother of three with one on the way) used someone to help.  She was full of good ideas.  (There Goes the Motherhood)