Commercials That Annoy, Irritate or Outright Enrage

[legaleagle53]

I thought it was kind of cute the way she smiled at him just before she started running up those steps.

 

It reminds me of an old joke that goes something like this:  A guy decides that he wants to get in shape by running, but he can't quite work up the motivation to do it, so he talks to a friend of his, who has an idea.  The friend tells him to be ready to go running tomorrow morning, as he's going to arrange for a special trainer to motivate him.

 

The next morning, the guy is ready to go running and hears a knock on the door.  When he opens it, he finds a really sexy blonde woman who smiles at him, says, "If you can catch me, you can have me!"  and takes off, with the guy in pursuit.  Naturally, he doesn't catch her, but he's interested enough that he's willing to keep trying each day.  So each day, she shows up, promises that he can have her if he can catch her, and takes off, with him running after her.

 

This goes on for several months, and gradually, the guy starts losing weight and getting into shape.  In fact, he improves so much by Day 90 that he's sure he's going to catch her on his next run.  So, on Day 91, he gets up at the usual time, and hears the familiar knock on the door.  He opens it, but instead of the sexy blonde woman, he finds a 250-lb. man who grins at him and says, "Your friend said that if I catch you, I can have you!"

 

Yeah, this commercial is kind of like that.

[bilgistic]

Unfortunately for me and my waistline, no man is worth running after. Not even tiramisu is good enough to make me run.

[backgroundnoise]

I ones I get angry about are the phone companies who show things like the mother working three jobs to pay for the "family plan" that lets her lazy, sitting-on-the-couch teenagers text all they want.  Or people dumping their significant others via email.  Or the latest one from AT&T with the smart-mouthed kid going "You admit that!?!" when the nice customer rep says she's into bedazzling.

 

Message:  These phone companies' customers are assholes who raise snotty kids. 

 

Sigh.  Advertisers these days seem to think bitchy is edgy and cool.  Not cool.

[blueray]

I hate the commercials I think it's for the lottery. This guy is invited to go to a Halloween party. Then it shows him in costume ringing a doorbell, to be revealed that he has the wrong house. And the people laugh at him. Then he goes and plays the numbers in the lottery. So the end is huh? But it's unrealistic because no one would have got the door and if they did they would have just said that he has the wrong house.

Edited June 17, 2015 by blueray

[Cobalt Stargazer]

Or the latest one from AT&T with the smart-mouthed kid going "You admit that!?!" when the nice customer rep says she's into bedazzling.

 

I've griped about this one before, and its mainly because Lily (the AT&T rep) does seem like such a nice, helpful person. The look on her face is so downcast when the little brat snots at her about bedazzling that I just want to smack the kid. Like, way to ruin someone's good mood, not to mention potentially spoil her (admittedly not that cool) hobby for her.

[Haleth]

Just a guess on my part since I have no idea what Ancestry.com charges, but I might resent any amount if all they were gonna tell me was that my grandpa had been drafted.

To be fair, ancestry.com has no control over what your distant relatives may have submitted or linked to your family tree.  Of course the only way to find out if there is anything of interest is to pay the money.

 

That commercial creeps me out. Col. Sanders was a real person who died 35 years ago. In the earlier days of KFC he appeared in commercials. I assume that's what they are trying to recreate.

But to have someone dress up like him is morbid. Didn't they try this approach a few years back?And if I remember correctly it was criticized so much that it was dropped very quickly.

That's Darrell Hammond from SNL.  Played Al Gore back in the day.  Remember "lockbox?"

 

I'm generally indifferent toward the Jimmy Dean commercials featuring The Sun, his family and his coworkers, but I really hate the one with the wife lounging in a bathrobe on the front porch of her home enjoying a sunny morning. Her husband, The Sun, offers her a Jimmy Dean breakfast sandwich and she, of course, bites into it and lets the orgasmic pleasure of doing so roll across her face. Then all the sudden a car drives up and blasts its horn and a screechy voice calls, "Let's go! Time to get to work!" So the wife hops up, disrobes, and reveals she's been wearing her work clothes underneath the robe. The impatient woman who yells from the car just gets the hell on my nerves. If I were The Sun's wife, I'd be throwing some serious shade on her.

Then again (gee, I'm contrary today), if I were carpooling with someone and pulled up to see her in her bathrobe, sipping coffee on the porch, I'd be pretty impatient too.

[Tunia]

To be fair, ancestry.com has no control over what your distant relatives may have submitted or linked to your family tree.  Of course the only way to find out if there is anything of interest is to pay the money.

 

 

Exactly...but the problem (for me, anyway) is that there's apparently no guarantee that the information someone may input is accurate.  Giving the responder the benefit of the doubt, memories and perceptions fade over time.  And who's to prove that Distant Cousin X didn't dislike others in the family and deliberately input erroneous info about them?  Or, to the opposite, maybe that "kindly and revered ol' time bank manager" wasn't instead the greatest embezzler in his day?  Unless hard and substantiated proof of information is required, I think I'll just save my $$$.

 

ETA:  To be fair to ancestry.com, I've never explored or attempted to use their service, so perhaps they do have safeguards in place of which I'm not aware.  I'd hope so, anyway.

Edited June 17, 2015 by Tunia

[RedZoneTuba]

Or the latest one from AT&T with the smart-mouthed kid going "You admit that!?!" when the nice customer rep says she's into bedazzling.

 

If I was the AT&T rep, my response: [smiling politely] "Reluctantly, much like your mother admits that you're her child."

[backgroundnoise]

When ad companies are testing new commercials, they really should note how the forum group reacts to constant repeats of a commercial that sounds fine the first time you hear it.

 

I like Neil Patrick Harris just fine, but after hearing him hem and haw about Heineken refunding your money, I just want him to shut up.  I'm not stupid, okay, I KNOW you are not personally going to refund the money!!!

 

But I do remember it's from Heineken, alas.

[Muffyn]

Do the Ancestry.com ads annoy anyone else?

The joke in my family is that we should be on one of their ads.  We have an uncommon last name (fewer than 300 people in North America, almost non-existent outside of North America).  We have traced our family tree back to a man who came to the US in the mid 1700s.  Why would this make for an odd Ancestry.com story?  He killed his wife of 42 years and was hanged for it.  Yeah us!  We are ever so proud of our origin story.  Who cares if you come from many generations of barbers?  It's not uncommon for members of the same family to continue in the family business.  Fortunately none of use seem to have continued in the killing your wife of 42 years business (or maybe we just haven't been married long enough.  Hmm.) 

[iMonrey]

 

 

I'm not liking the new KFC ads. As an African American, bringing back that kind of Southern iconography doesn't exactly bring out feelings of warm and fuzzy nostalgia for me.

 

The South during the Colonel's time wasn't a great time for my people.

 

This is kind of what I was alluding to in an earlier post. It seems to me the "southern white colonel" is an icon from a pre-civil war south and not something KFC's target audience would even get or relate to. The character may have had some resonance back in the 1950s but I'd think it would be considered inappropriate today.

[Brattinella]

Great story, Muffyn!

[LoneHaranguer]

 

Then again (gee, I'm contrary today), if I were carpooling with someone and pulled up to see her in her bathrobe, sipping coffee on the porch, I'd be pretty impatient too.

Wouldn't someone carpooling with her know that she's in the habit of getting dressed before eating breakfast and uses her robe to keep her work clothes clean? Being at the curb would be helpful if the group was running late, but there's something to be said for consistency, and the porch is a good all-weather spot to wait.

[Sandman87]

There's something about Honda's "Don't let your babies grow up to be cowboys" ad that's been bugging me, and I finally figured out what it is: The ugly fat-faced blond kid who's abusing the slurpee machine looks exactly like the little jerk who was the class bully back when I was in third and fourth grades. So no, I'm not buying a Honda. Ever.

[Bort]

The joke in my family is that we should be on one of their ads.  We have an uncommon last name (fewer than 300 people in North America, almost non-existent outside of North America).  We have traced our family tree back to a man who came to the US in the mid 1700s.  Why would this make for an odd Ancestry.com story?  He killed his wife of 42 years and was hanged for it.  Yeah us!  We are ever so proud of our origin story.  Who cares if you come from many generations of barbers?  It's not uncommon for members of the same family to continue in the family business.  Fortunately none of use seem to have continued in the killing your wife of 42 years business (or maybe we just haven't been married long enough.  Hmm.)

Mine's not near as interesting as yours but my last name is so uncommon, we're the only ones in the U.S. who have it. Ancestry.com would be a waste of money since the one line is easy to trace -- and it doesn't even go back that far, ancestors emigrated in 1915 and before that they were gypsies in Poland. I'm pretty sure gypsies didn't keep meticulous records so tada, all done!

[bilgistic]

Wait, isn't that a Volkswagen commercial? I have to stand up for my 10-year-old Civic.

[riley702]

Hmm, pretty sure Ancestry.com doesn't know the dirt on my g-g-grandpa, "lovingly" handed down by his disapproving daughter-in-law, Grandma Carrie. She described him as a "shyster lawyer" who gambled on the ponies and ran around with Frank James, brother of Jesse. And that "Grandpa Wooden-leg" had lost his leg in a pony race in his 30s, "when he was old enough to know better than to indulge in such foolishness." She really didn't like him and since she outlived both husband and FIL, she got to determine what was remembered.

[Prevailing Wind]

 

So no, I'm not buying a Honda. Ever.

Easy there, Cowboy (hahaha).  It's a VW ad.  You can still buy a Honda.  And you should.  I love my Fit.

[90PercentGravity]

My mom does Geneology. Ancestory.com is crazy expensive and they have their hands in everything. Stuff that used to be free was taken over by them and you pretty much can't find anything anywhere else anymore. 

[BabyVegas]

Easy there, Cowboy (hahaha).  It's a VW ad.  You can still buy a Honda.  And you should.  I love my Fit.

Ugh, Volkswagen. And I say this as a VW owner. I will never buy one ever again. Never never never never never never. *throws temper tantrum* Every time I see a VW ad I just start to get irrationally mad at the TV. I genuinely have to mute them lest I start yelling.

 

Also Ancestry.com is a total joke if you come from a family of immigrants. I'm of Jewish descent and I know as far back as my great grandparents but that's it. I wish it were easier, but it does irritate me how Ancestry acts like all you have to do is click a few times and voila, your entire family history is revealed to you. That gets a lot trickier when one side of your family's history is "fled from the Nazis" and the other side is "fled from the pogroms."

 

ETA: 

Take it easy, Taylor Swift. ;-)

My car slipped into neutral on a freeway on ramp at rush hour. I drive an automatic. I have never forgiven it.

Edited June 18, 2015 by BabyVegas

[Cobalt Stargazer]

Ugh, Volkswagen. And I say this as a VW owner. I will never buy one ever again. Never never never never never never. *throws temper tantrum* Every time I see a VW ad I just start to get irrationally mad at the TV. I genuinely have to mute them lest I start yelling.

 

Take it easy, Taylor Swift. ;-)

 

Has anyone seen the new ad for Silk Almond Milk? There's this woman in the kitchen, and the almond (seriously, their spokesperson is an almond? WTF?) start spieling about how awesome the milk is, so she drinks some, and of course she's delighted, yadda yadda. My question is, why does her hair look like she just rolled out of bed, because she's wearing "real" clothes, not pajamas. I can't find the ad or else I'd show it. Also, she does this really annoying snort-laugh at the end.

[90PercentGravity]

I desperately want to see Daniel Day-Lewis in a parody ad of the Matthew McConnaughey Lincoln ad. "I've been playing Lincoln long before anyone paid me to play him. I didn't do it to be cool or to stand out, I just liked it." With him playing Lincoln in odd places.

[Sandman87]

The joke in my family is that we should be on one of their ads.  We have an uncommon last name (fewer than 300 people in North America, almost non-existent outside of North America).  We have traced our family tree back to a man who came to the US in the mid 1700s.  Why would this make for an odd Ancestry.com story?  He killed his wife of 42 years and was hanged for it.  Yeah us!

 

Based on what I already know about my ancestors, I'd be very reluctant to learn any more. Pot dealers, bootleggers, gypsies...

[legaleagle53]

Based on what I already know about my ancestors, I'd be very reluctant to learn any more. Pot dealers, bootleggers, gypsies...

 

...tramps and thieves (sorry, I just couldn't resist!).

[bubbls]

My mom does Geneology. Ancestory.com is crazy expensive and they have their hands in everything. Stuff that used to be free was taken over by them and you pretty much can't find anything anywhere else anymore. 

 

 

This was my experience as well so the ads really annoy me. Few things were free even after you paid to join. However, if anyone is interested they (at that time) had a month-by-month membership plan. I joined for one month for $20, got the info I wanted, and didn't renew.

[pandora spocks]

"Based on what I already know about my ancestors, I'd be very reluctant to learn any more. Pot dealers, bootleggers, gypsies..."

That sounds like my family tree; just throw in a few Tories and that'd mine.

[TattleTeeny]

Credit card ads that feature celebrities shilling the cards never fail to bug me, especially those with Jennifer (horse face) Garner.

Credit card debt is one of the main causes of personal bankruptcies. It's all fine and good for people with means (like Garner) to use them but a slippery slope for desperate folks who may resort to use them to buy gas or food. The commercials make getting a card seem so easy to get when it's a bitch to ever pay one off.

I have no issue with wealthy people shilling for a credit card; I just see it the same way as I do any ad that wants a known face in it, I guess? I also don't think one has to be rolling in dough to manage to use one without declaring bankruptcy; people who aren't "of means" do it all the time, myself included. 

 

It's like when I buy stuff at Petco - want to donate a dollar to save a homeless animal or do you just want to purchase the $50 worth of pet food and toys you have here and go on your merry way NEVER THINKING OF HOMELESS ANIMALS AGAIN YOU BASTARD??!!!

 

On one of my many Petco trips, a flirtatious too-cool-for-school cashier reached over and clicked "No" on the keypad before I had a chance to tap the $2.00 option! I was so mad at him. What the hell gave that badly tattooed asshole the idea that I was someone who wouldn't want to donate is beyond me. If I'm already stocking up on Blue Buffalo and some hippie-sounding brand with flavors like "Good Karma Chicken" (an ironic name, especially if you are the chicken), and toys the cats do not need, I can throw a couple bucks to the pets who don't get to rule a condo all day and night.

 

What I really don't understand about one of the dumb eHarmony ads is this: if the desperate-to-couple young girl has time to join 65 dating sites, why does she not have time to fill out the many eHarmony questions?

Edited June 18, 2015 by TattleTeeny

[Prevailing Wind]

 

I also don't think one has to be rolling in dough to manage to use one without declaring bankruptcy; people who aren't "of means" do it all the time, myself included.

I've discovered that my CC reports to the 3 credit agencies in the middle of my billing cycle, so it always looks like I have a relatively high balance.  They never report it the day after I pay it all off. Jerks.

[Trini]

Has anyone seen the new ad for Silk Almond Milk? There's this woman in the kitchen, and the almond (seriously, their spokesperson is an almond? WTF?) start spieling about how awesome the milk is, so she drinks some, and of course she's delighted, yadda yadda. My question is, why does her hair look like she just rolled out of bed, because she's wearing "real" clothes, not pajamas. I can't find the ad or else I'd show it. Also, she does this really annoying snort-laugh at the end.

 

Yeah, that one is a head-scratcher for me too. They don't even mention if she just woke up or something; her head is just wildly mussed with NO explanation.

[editorgrrl]

Has anyone seen the new ad for Silk Almond Milk? There's this woman in the kitchen, and the almond (seriously, their spokesperson is an almond? WTF?) start spieling about how awesome the milk is, so she drinks some, and of course she's delighted, yadda yadda. My question is, why does her hair look like she just rolled out of bed, because she's wearing "real" clothes, not pajamas. I can't find the ad or else I'd show it. Also, she does this really annoying snort-laugh at the end.

 

You can watch it here. Their description: 

A disheveled woman sits down to have a bowl of cereal when a talking almond sprout pours Silk Vanilla Almond Milk in her bowl. Two out of three people prefer it to regular milk. He welcomes her to the popular table, and then she snorts.

[iMonrey]

 

Also Ancestry.com is a total joke if you come from a family of immigrants. I'm of Jewish descent and I know as far back as my great grandparents but that's it. I wish it were easier, but it does irritate me how Ancestry acts like all you have to do is click a few times and voila, your entire family history is revealed to you. That gets a lot trickier when one side of your family's history is "fled from the Nazis" and the other side is "fled from the pogroms."

 

It's also pretty useless if your ancestors were basically a bunch of peasant-farmer nobodies from the old country. You can go back as far as your grandparents or great-grandparents immigration records and beyond that, nada. 

 

The Match.com ads are sticking in my craw of late. Some douchebag walking around sticking a microphone in people's faces out and about, asking them if they know anyone who used Match. Invariably they do, and - surprise! Those people got married. Sisters, friends, etc. So, why don't YOU use Match since it was so successful for your sister friends? Uh, I don't know. Geez. Maybe they're not that desperate. Or aren't particularly interested in dating anyone right now thank you very much. Go away, creepy Match guy.

[LoneHaranguer]

 

What I really don't understand about one of the dumb eHarmony ads is this: if the desperate-to-couple young girl has time to join 65 dating sites, why does she not have time to fill out the many eHarmony questions?

Clearly, time is not the issue, but if she told the truth and said it was the cost, she wouldn't have gotten to be in the ad.

[Muffyn]

The Match.com ads are sticking in my craw of late. Some douchebag walking around sticking a microphone in people's faces out and about, asking them if they know anyone who used Match. Invariably they do, and - surprise! Those people got married. Sisters, friends, etc. So, why don't YOU use Match since it was so successful for your sister friends? Uh, I don't know. Geez. Maybe they're not that desperate. Or aren't particularly interested in dating anyone right now thank you very much. Go away, creepy Match guy.

So he happens to find the one person who knows someone who was successful with Match and is currently hoping to date more.  They don't show them listing off friends' bad history with Match.  Again, I need to get interviewed for these ads.  I know someone who was matched with a guy who was having sex with cantaloupes and burying them in the yard. Thanks Match!  You really helped her find her best match, a fruit fucking sociopath.  Of course, she's glad she never slept with him.  She could have ended up buried in the yard.

 

There's an ad for Chevy or Ford or some other car that has been remodeled.  They are supposedly showing real people's initial reactions to being in the car.  The dialogue makes me stabby.  Everyone says something along the lines of "Looking at the interior, I thought it was a BMW . . . Lexus . . . Mercedes . . . WhateverTheFuckMoreExpensiveCarTheyCanName".  So each of these people has been trying out other, more pricey cars but are now looking at this car.  (Big ad fail; I don't remember which car it is).  Adding to the fuckery, they then each use some outdated "It's so kewl" saying.  The car is TheBombDotCom, I tells ya!  Who talks like that?  Or more rightly, who writes this drivel?  They are clearly trying to reach out to a younger audience, but it comes off like Grandpa trying to talk to the kids.  

Edited June 19, 2015 by Muffyn

[backformore]

 

 

The Match.com ads are sticking in my craw of late. Some douchebag walking around sticking a microphone in people's faces out and about, asking them if they know anyone who used Match. Invariably they do, and - surprise! Those people got married. Sisters, friends, etc. So, why don't YOU use Match since it was so successful for your sister friends? Uh, I don't know. Geez. Maybe they're not that desperate. Or aren't particularly interested in dating anyone right now thank you very much. Go away, creepy Match guy.

Right.  It's an updated version of your great-aunt asking "WHY aren't you married yet?"  the assumption that everyone HAS to want to get married, and if you are single, you must be miserable.

Edited June 19, 2015 by backformore

[theatremouse]

There's an ad for Chevy or Ford or some other car that has been remodeled.  They are supposedly showing real people's initial reactions to being in the car.  The dialogue makes me stabby.

Pretty sure it's a Kia commercial? Because Kia's been trying to get into the "luxury car" market, which isn't just about price, it's about fancy-pants features. (Although there might be an American manufacturer doing the same thing...) So they have a car now with fancy-pants features, but not the hugetastic price, completely forgetting that the market for people who just really want said features but not the "prestige" of owning the fancy pants name car is miniscule. Plus their rep is for being cheapo cars so to suddenly go "no wait, luxury!" is headspinning.

[pandora spocks]

"Adding to the fuckery, they then each use some outdated "It's so kewl" saying. The car is TheBombDotCom, I tells ya! Who talks like that? Or more rightly, who writes this drivel? They are clearly trying to reach out to a younger audience, but it comes off like Grandpa trying to talk to the kids. "

The car is "dope" and "fly" too, something that would be "kewl" for the guy going to the Boyz II Men concert.

Edited June 19, 2015 by pandora spocks

[Tunia]

It's a Chevy...but I had to look it up to be sure, which goes to show that it's not a very effective ad.  Fail.

 

http://www.ispot.tv/ad/7iNo/chevrolet-chevrolet-films-first-impressions

[legaleagle53]

"Adding to the fuckery, they then each use some outdated "It's so kewl" saying. The car is TheBombDotCom, I tells ya! Who talks like that? Or more rightly, who writes this drivel? They are clearly trying to reach out to a younger audience, but it comes off like Grandpa trying to talk to the kids. "

The car is "dope" and "fly" too, something that would be "kewl" for the guy going to the Boyz II Men concert.

 

In 1997, maybe.   But this is 2015.

[BooksRule]

I can't stand the Panera Bread commercial that has that woman shoveling down salad like she's been lost in the mountains for a month.  It. is. a. salad.  Don't get me wrong, I love a good green salad, I have one almost every day, and sometimes even make a quiet yummy sound or two if I'm particularly hungry, but she's acting like it's the best food that was ever put in front of her.  Now, if it was a big platter of shrimp and crab and I hadn't eaten all day, then okay, but a salad?

Edited June 19, 2015 by BooksRule

[Rick Kitchen]

Kool-Aid needs to find a new voice for their Kool-Aid man.  This new voice is annoying, and doesn't sound anything like the old guy.

[Rick Kitchen]

New Kool-aid guy:

 

[CarpeDiem54]

I have visions of New Mr. Kool-Aid with the Wrong Voice and Creepy Colonel Sanders with the Pedophile Cackle in a commercial together. Dancing. I may have accidentally ingested something hallucinogenic...

[Prevailing Wind]

...or perhaps, some Yoplait.

[CarpeDiem54]

Naw, if I'm gonna be a Yoghurt Bitch, I'll buy some of that Greek stuff that's pissed off the Several Thousand Uptight Self-Righteous Hate Mongering Moms.

[riley702]

Can't stand the Trip Advisor commercial with the dog saying "Book!" He sounds weirdly mechanical, like there's a keyboard clicking in the middle of his "Book!"

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8W05OcS5Z-8

[sofaslug]

... I know someone who was matched with a guy who was having sex with cantaloupes and burying them in the yard. Thanks Match! You really helped her find her best match, a fruit fucking sociopath.

Kind of gives a whole new meaning to "crotchfruit".

[CarpeDiem54]

Awww. I like the Trip Advisor one. I love how the dog goes on vacation with them and the goofy grin on his face while he gets a massage.

I will agree that the "book" bark sounds odd.

Kind of gives a whole new meaning to "crotchfruit".

Bawahahaha!

[ari333]

""....with some TAY-ders.... an' a big ol' COOK-ie"

Kfc

[Prevailing Wind]

I think the dog's bark/book sounds weird because of the prounced K at the end of book.  An imitation of "bark" normally ends more like a glottal stop, not specifically pronouncing the K.

[bilgistic]

Naw, if I'm gonna be a Yoghurt Bitch, I'll buy some of that Greek stuff that's pissed off the Several Thousand Uptight Self-Righteous Hate Mongering Moms.

Pop-Tarts and now yogurt?! What shall I eat now 1MM?? How about raising your dipshits not to jump on dishwasher doors or make me nearly trip over them in the grocery store while you're having your third sample of chicken enchiladas?