Commercials That Annoy, Irritate or Outright Enrage

[janie jones]

I hate the centurylink guy so much. And now he's showing up in other commercials. I hate his stupid face and his stupid voiceand his stupid beard. I don't want him to die, but I wouldn't mind if he was exiled to a Leper colony and his dumb beard fell off.

I hate that guy's stupid face and his stupid beard, but I find his voice strangely soothing.  The look on his face when he's looking up from the hammock is creepy though.

[slensam]

I remember hearing a Carl's Jr. marketing person doing a TV interview a few years ago, and she was pretty upfront about their approach - there are a bunch of people out there who's approach to fast food is "give me a big, unhealthy, messy, cheap burger to shove in my face NOW" and that's who they're catering to. They've given up the healthy and politically-correct market to everyone else. I have to respect their honesty.

 

I agree someone needs to tell stupid Hannah to STFU and send her stupid horse to the glue factory. WTF, DirecTV?

Hannah seems like she's been lobotomized.

[mojoween]

McDonald's Max can GTFO any time now with his skinny jeans and stupid fake beard and his talking in hashtags. I don't even understand his purpose because I zone out during his yammering. He seems genial enough but he sure isn't going to get me to hit up McD's. Also from what I recall their burgers are way salty.

[merylinkid]

Lovely, the Obviously Offenbacher commercials have migrated from radio to tv.   Really could have done without the prentious "obviously" being repeated every 5 seconds.

[theatremouse]

McDonald's all but erased their characters from existence years ago due to pressure about marketing to kids.  I don't know why they feel comfortable bringing them back now, but please keep that creep show hamburger head in whatever black hole you dumped him in.

This is just a guess, but they're comfortable bringing them back, and in weird not kid-friendly form specifically because they stopped using them ages ago and can say that they are no longer using them to market to kids. Basically, they can say (and might even be thinking) they have character name recognition with people who are no longer kids, so by revamping the characters that subset of people knows and making them...whatever the hell they're making them... they might think they're somehow going for a mix of nostalgia factor and hipsterism. That btw totally doesn't work or make any sense. That's what I think they think they're doing: going after young-ish adults with characters they knew as kids, but grown upish. It's idiotic and creepy in practice, not because of the premise, but the execution. Edited June 5, 2015 by theatremouse

[LoneHaranguer]

 

Along with creepy e-harmony grandpa, the commando Brit & the Charmin Bears.  Oh, and those two yogurt bitches who keep shrinking everyone else's TASTY snacks.

Can you make room for the morons shilling for Liberty Mutual?

[CarpeDiem54]

I have a feeling we need a bus or a cattle car to hold all the morons we need to send over the cliff. I want to add the two washing machine with a laundry tub who are afraid of their baby assholes and that Mindy freak from the Nationwide ads ( who's now also shilling how weird she looks for AmEx).

[potatoradio]

 

YES. I feel like such an asshole because I don't give a dollar to the poor, homeless animals when I shop at PetSmart, even though one of my cats was poor and homeless when I got him, and the other was living in a house full of crazed elementary school-aged boys when I got her. They were both given a better, quiet life. I buy them nice, healthy, expensive food and sing them songs and tell them how much I love them, and they have been with me for 13 and 17 years, respectively, and they have regular, expensive vet visits during which the vet tells them how proud she is of them, but I still feel like a jerk when I don't give a buck to homeless animals.

 

OK, not to get too far off topic, but I was just at Petco and noticed that their minimum donation is now $2, not $1. Gah!!

 

Second the hate for McDouchey Hipster. I am not McLovin'

[MrsEVH]

I want Progressive Flo, the Sonic Idiots, and now, the Faux French Yoplait Girl to all be in a convertible and plunge off a cliff Thelma and Louise style.

 Throw in the redhead from Wendy's ads and Toyota Jan.

 

Can't stand the drug ad for high cholesterol  or ED, (don't remember which one) where the guy is riding a mechanical bull while a  bad cover version of Foghat's  'Slow Ride" is playing. Hate it when a classic rock song is used for a lame ad.

[iMonrey]

 

If it's so "American!", how come there's no apple pie in there?

 

Don't give them any ideas! But seriously, this burger? I will admit, there are times when I will indulge in some sort of fast food. Not very often but sometimes I do get a hankering for a fast food cheeseburger or a side of fries or onion rings. And sometimes I see some really unhealthy concoction and think "hm, that actually looks kind of good." But not this Frankenstein monstrosity with burgers, hot dogs and chips all mashed into one thing. Ugh. Why not just mix up a whole meal and throw it in the blender and advertise that?

 

And I get the parody here, but it's probably lost on a lot of their customers who really do think America=Freedom=isn't it great we can eat whatever the hell we want like this god-awful fast food creation. That's probably going to appeal to people who just want to try it because of that.

[Prevailing Wind]

Why not just mix up a whole meal and throw it in the blender and advertise that?

I don't imagine you've ever tried Glucerna.  I'll save you the trouble...DON'T.

[bilgistic]

OK, not to get too far off topic, but I was just at Petco and noticed that their minimum donation is now $2, not $1. Gah!!

I went to PetSmart last night to pick up two different brands of high-dollar food for Calicogistic and Tabbygistic who decided they can simply no longer (NO LONGER! AWAY WITH THAT FOUL TRIPE, MOTHER!) eat what their humble servant, I, have been giving them. Nearly $40 dollars later for two tiny bags and four wee cans, PetSmart asked me as I was paying if I wanted to help the homeless pets. I thought of you all on these threads, and mirthfully chuckled inwardly, hit no, and felt like an asshole.

They liked the first food yesterday. Today they're, like, "Eh". I am seriously beginning to think they are colluding against me. COLLUSION!

Edited June 6, 2015 by bilgistic

[Brattinella]

Speaking of petsmart, have you seen the video of the pug?  His owner asks him if he wants to go to petsmart, and it takes off from there!  Adorable!

[Prairie Fire]

And I get the parody here, but it's probably lost on a lot of their customers who really do think America=Freedom=isn't it great we can eat whatever the hell we want like this god-awful fast food creation.

 

That's also becoming one of my pet peeves about ads - everyone who makes an offensive, tasteless, or just plain "this should have never happened" type ad can always pretend after the fact that they were just kidding. Even though more often than not, they probably weren't.

 

Even what I consider the most tasteless ad of all time, the Ford SportKa cat ad (it's so bad I shouldn't link it - if you search for it on your own, don't say you weren't warned) featured Ford's ad people backpedaling and claiming it was all just clever satire.

Edited June 6, 2015 by Prairie Fire

[legaleagle53]

O_O Just looking at that thing raises my cholesterol.

 

Just shrink it down to nothing with a spoonful of that magic yogurt!

[InDueTime]

Even what I consider the most tasteless ad of all time, the Ford SportKa cat ad (it's so bad I shouldn't link it - if you search for it on your own, don't say you weren't warned) featured Ford's ad people backpedaling and claiming it was all just clever satire.

The ad where the cat

gets decapitated

? I don't really like cats, but that one was way over the line. I bet someone got fired for that one.

Edited June 6, 2015 by InDueTime

[cinsays]

As long as we can add ugly "model" Carrie Dee English to the list of people going off the cliff, I am on board!  

Oh, and, the blond pant-suited shill for the oil/gas companies who want to "safely" frack the hell out of our country.

 

[Brattinella]

As long as we can add ugly "model" Carrie Dee English to the list of people going off the cliff, I am on board!  

Oh, and, the blond pant-suited shill for the oil/gas companies who want to "safely" frack the hell out of our country.

 

And, she sweetly calls it "fracturing" technology, to fool those who might think FRACKING is something else.  Gah.

[AntiBeeSpray]

And, she sweetly calls it "fracturing" technology, to fool those who might think FRACKING is something else.  Gah.

 

It's still the SAME thing, lady. Word. Go away fracking!

The ad where the cat

gets decapitated

? I don't really like cats, but that one was way over the line. I bet someone got fired for that one.

 

Wtf?! That's beyond tasteless. I hope they did.

[Brattinella]

I don't even want to risk a look for that ad.  EESH.

[AntiBeeSpray]

I don't even want to risk a look for that ad.  EESH.

 

Neither do I. CGI aside.

[Prevailing Wind]

I was just watching American Pharoah win the Triple Crown. His trainer is Bob Baffert.  The camera shows us Baffert & his wife waiting for the race to begin.  And behind them, like a cheesy photobomb...that goddamn Burger KING.  WAVING to the camera.  Oh, please...he needs to be the first one off the cliff. I'll watch the Sonic idiots for a solid month if they get rid of that shithead.

 

Oh, and the Zaxby's guy who loves all those "birthday cake" milkshakes must die, too.

Edited June 6, 2015 by Prevailing Wind

[Rick Kitchen]

So apparently we should be buying cars now based on how good their internet connection is?

[bilgistic]

Screw that noise. Just go park outside Target like I did today. Free Wi-Fi for everyone! McDonald's works, too, I hear.

I love my 10.75-year-old base-model (manual transmission!) Honda Civic with power nothing, and you'd have to take it from me by extreme force. It has less than 70K miles on it. (Just TRY finding a 2005 model with 55K miles, Liberty Insurance!) My sweet Scarlett O'Cara is good to me. (She's red, and I'm a dork.)

[Cobalt Stargazer]

And, she sweetly calls it "fracturing" technology, to fool those who might think FRACKING is something else.  Gah.

 

 

It's still the SAME thing, lady. Word. Go fracking away!

 

There. Fixed.

[AntiBeeSpray]

I was just watching American Pharoah win the Triple Crown. His trainer is Bob Baffert.  The camera shows us Baffert & his wife waiting for the race to begin.  And behind them, like a cheesy photobomb...that goddamn Burger KING.  WAVING to the camera.  Oh, please...he needs to be the first one off the cliff. I'll watch the Sonic idiots for a solid month if they get rid of that shithead.

 

Oh, and the Zaxby's guy who loves all those "birthday cake" milkshakes must die, too.

 

Wth!? Seriously? Go away Burger King!

[SmithW6079]

It's not the beard's fault. Beards are awesome.

True dat. Beard on, bro.

[backformore]

Screw that noise. Just go park outside Target like I did today. Free Wi-Fi for everyone! McDonald's works, too, I hear.

I love my 10.75-year-old base-model (manual transmission!) Honda Civic with power nothing, and you'd have to take it from me by extreme force. It has less than 70K miles on it. (Just TRY finding a 2005 model with 55K miles, Liberty Insurance!) My sweet Scarlett O'Cara is good to me. (She's red, and I'm a dork.)

Scarlett O'Cara is an awesome name for a car.  

"Brad"  is not.   (take note, Liberty mutual!)

[Bastet]

I had a car named Towanda.

 

Some asshole "tapped the bumper" of my car in a parking lot yesterday, and didn’t leave a note.  Among my many thoughts: “Jackass must have Liberty Mutual.”

[bilgistic]

I've officially reached my saturation point with goats in commercials. There's no reason for them to be on a factory floor, and I can easily go the rest of my days without hearing a goat scream ever again.

I had a car named Towanda.

"TOWANDA!!!"

[Prairie Fire]

The ad where the cat

gets decapitated

? I don't really like cats, but that one was way over the line. I bet someone got fired for that one.

 

I'm a little surprised that Ogilvy & Mather UK (one of the more prestigious ad agencies, who you'd assume would be above that stuff) was the agency of record for the Ford SportKa cat ad. But I don't believe for a second the leak was accidental, or that someone actually thought it would be funny (say, to guys who hate their girlfriends' or wives' cats) to the point it actually got made. Hence my title: Most Offensive Ad of All Time.

 

We're going to need more than a bus or car to hold everyone we want to go away - we may need an Airbus A380. I nominate anyone in the "Avvo" commercials.

[Rick Kitchen]

Jebus, I am fed up to here with the Sea World ads telling us how they love their orcas.

Edited June 7, 2015 by Rick Kitchen

[Prevailing Wind]

Every Honda I ever owned, my mom wanted me to name Fenry.  That's right, Fenry Honda.  Now I've got a Fit - PitchaFit.  It was better than Hissy Fit and nobody seems to have Conniption Fits any more... No car was ever named Brad.  My first, a VW Beetle in the late 60s, was named Toby & nobody ever referred to it as my car - they always said, "Toby" - even the folks at the dealership when I had work done.

[Haleth]

I was just watching American Pharoah win the Triple Crown. His trainer is Bob Baffert.  The camera shows us Baffert & his wife waiting for the race to begin.  And behind them, like a cheesy photobomb...that goddamn Burger KING.  WAVING to the camera.  Oh, please...he needs to be the first one off the cliff. I'll watch the Sonic idiots for a solid month if they get rid of that shithead.

I thought my eyes were deceiving me.  That seemed so random.  My son checked into it and apparently BK paid gazillions to have the King walk into the arena with Floyd Mayweather last month, so having him photobomb the Baffert family was probably a similar stunt.  Weird.

 

About a year ago I gave up my Odyssey named Penelope.  (See what I did there?)

Edited June 7, 2015 by Haleth

[DeLurker]

As long as we can add ugly "model" Carrie Dee English to the list of people going off the cliff, I am on board!  

Oh, and, the blond pant-suited shill for the oil/gas companies who want to "safely" frack the hell out of our country.

I nominate the Belvita Bitch and Bastard to go in cliffmobile.  You can tuck them in the trunk since it is getting crowdy in the car.

[TattleTeeny]

This is perhaps really picky of me, but the DQ commercial for the new Jurassic Park Blizzard is worded so annoyingly. A guy asks what's in it and the DQ employee says, "Peanut butter cookies smashed together with chocolate chip cookies." First, her inflection on the second "cookies" makes it sound like she thinks it's a completely different ingredient than the other cookies (I mean, OK, it is, but she says it as if they're not both cookies, if that makes any sense). Second, "smashed together" sounds dumb, clunky, redundant, and something a little kid would say. 

[potatoradio]

Yo, creepy horse in the Hannah and her horse commercial. It's not "Direct TV don't GOT goats." It's "Direct TV doesn't HAVE goats." If you must speak, please use proper grammar. Ignorance isn't cool or hip. Also, I've had enough of Hannah and her coy poses. I hate Comcast with every fiber of my being, but creepy ads won't entice me to switch.

 

 

I went to PetSmart last night to pick up two different brands of high-dollar food for Calicogistic and Tabbygistic who decided they can simply no longer (NO LONGER! AWAY WITH THAT FOUL TRIPE, MOTHER!) eat what their humble servant, I, have been giving them. Nearly $40 dollars later for two tiny bags and four wee cans, PetSmart asked me as I was paying if I wanted to help the homeless pets. I thought of you all on these threads, and mirthfully chuckled inwardly, hit no, and felt like an asshole.

They liked the first food yesterday. Today they're, like, "Eh". I am seriously beginning to think they are colluding against me. COLLUSION!

 

Ha ha! It is a conspiracy (both PetSmart to make you feel like an asshole and your cats to make sure you know your menu is inadequate). If it makes you feel any better, I started supplementing our senior citizen cat's diet with baby food (so he can start to gain some weight) and the look he gives me when I try to serve the usual Science Diet clearly indicates that I'm doing this all wrong! Resist, I urge you, resist!

[sofaslug]

Re: Ford SportKa

O M G! Brain bleach!! Mental floss!! How on Earth did they think that would help sell a car ?!

Edited June 7, 2015 by sofaslug

[AntiBeeSpray]

Jebus, I am fed up to here with the Sea World ads telling us how they love their orcas.

 

Heck yea! So am I. Nothing like them blowing smoke.

[backformore]

Jebus, I am fed up to here with the Sea World ads telling us how they love their orcas.

Yeah, it seems like they're screaming, "don't watch that movie Blackfish!  it's lies, we tell you, LIES!"  

Makes want to watch Blackfish again, actually.  

[sofaslug]

The Experian douche nozzles also need a seat on which ever vehicle is being sent over the cliff.

[CarpeDiem54]

How about this? Instead of cramming all of these annoying assholes in a vehicle and sending them off a cliff, why don't we commandeer a cruise ship that's been infected with one of those stomache viruses, drop them on said ship via helicopter, and let them float off the end of the earth?

Let's pipe in music to add to their misery - like that hipster douche Renegade song and Cholera's a Beautiful Thing.

Hell, we could video tape their antics and have a reality show and get rich.

[OriginalCyn]

This is more of a generic complaint, but I'm beyond weary of singing and dancing in commercials.   Singing and dancing has never made me feel better about a product or compelled me to buy anything.   The only way it ever motivates me is to pick up the remote and hit the mute button, or even the channel selector.  

 

Ugh...right there with ya on this.  I cannot stand that kind of twee crap*, especially when the setting and context are such that the song and dance are intended to come across as organic and spontaneous.  It doesn't work with the first viewing, which is bad enough, but after the damn thing has aired eleventy-billion times, I'm ready to use my TV for target practice.

 

*My irritation with this type of song/dance extends to TV shows -- especially sitcoms -- in which S/D routines are non-existent.  IME, they come across as something forced into the script for no reason other than to highlight a cast member's that usually remains hidden, as it should be.  You want America to watch/hear you sing and dance?  Go on Broadway or film a musical and leave your day gig alone.   

 

I figure it's written by guys who want to get out of doing stuff.  My grandfather used to deliberately do a poor job at tasks he didn't want to do because my grandmother would get all exasperated and claim, she would just have to do the job herself... cut to my grandfather smiling.

 

My Ex decided to try this shit with the laundry after we'd been married about six months, only to fail miserably at pulling it off.  After dating for three years, during which time I'd seen him do laundry countless times from start to finish without fucking anything up, did he really think I'd buy into his claim of not knowing how to do it?!  The only thing he succeeded doing was to turn three cashmere sweaters into potholders.  

 

When I pulled the three former cashmere sweaters-turned-potholders out of the dryer, he was laughing his ass off to the point of  nearly pissing himself.  I engaged in a little quid pro quo when I watched him open the next month's Amex bill that included a $573.00 charge to replace the sweaters he destroyed.  He sure as shit wasn't laughing.  TBH, I wasn't either -- one of the sweaters he ruined was a Chanukkah gift from my father, the last one I ever received from him before he passed away.

 

I assumed the Red Nose campaign was somehow related to "Patch Adams", which I hate.

 

This was my thought as well.  I didn't hate the movie, but I had the misfortune of going to see it opening weekend and knowing nothing about the subject matter (but thinking it was supposed to be hilarious, not a drama with a few bits of humor).  At the time, my father was in the end stage of pancreatic cancer, the same disease Peter Coyote's character had; that particular story arc was extremely difficult to watch, but his/Robin's final scene together (ending with his death) cut me to my core so deeply that I left the theatre (even though Dad was terminal, watching that scene was when the reality of his impending death landed on my like a ton of bricks.

Edited June 9, 2015 by OriginalCyn

[LoneHaranguer]

 

And, she sweetly calls it "fracturing" technology, to fool those who might think FRACKING is something else.

Actually, I think Battlestar Galactica is to blame for that. They don't want anyone to think she's saying "frakking".

[90PercentGravity]

That creepy horse sounds like Wilfred. ..

[SoSueMe]

This stuff really does work. Read the first review about the boss's poo. It will have you howling with laughter.

http://www.amazon.com/Poo-Pourri-Before-You-Go-Toilet-2-Ounce-Original/dp/B0014DP9Y4/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1433252437&sr=8-1&keywords=poo+poo+pourri

OMG, the tears are streaming down my face. At least their boss was in on the project/challenge. Frickin' hilarious.

[SoSueMe]

And, she sweetly calls it "fracturing" technology, to fool those who might think FRACKING is something else.  Gah.

Yes yes yes

Maybe it's my imagination but to me it sounds like she drops her voice a decibel or two and crowds those two words together to kinda sorta sneak them in, just in case someone realizes she's talking about FRACKING.

[SoSueMe]

That VW "mamas don't let your babies..." commercial was apparently placed on EVERY.NETWORK.EVER last night. No matter where I surfed to, there it was. Hate.

 

I was also amused that both of the other cars in the commercial were a Chrysler and a Dodge. Seriously, VW, don't you have the nads to put Camrys/Accords/Fusions in your ad?

I kind of like the VW one. I have personally known kids like that, so I sympathize with the clerk. He nails the look of bewilderment with just a glimmer of fear.

[Brattinella]

However, I am fond of hearing ole Merle sing again.

[xaxat]

Sure he MIGHT be.  But when an ad is quoting a statistic (50% of recent graduates don't have jobs)  I want to know their definition.   My son graduated from college a year ago.  He and every one of  his friends who graduated that year either have jobs or are in some kind of post-graduate educational program.  I disagree with the fear-mongering I've been seeing on commercials, basically telling people that a college degree is a waste of time because there are NO JOBS!  You'll be unemployed! 

Yes, some will, but the "50% of recent grads arent' working "  needs to be qualified.   Because I think that statistic includes people who JUST graduated.

 

According to the government, the employment rate for individuals with college degrees age 20-24 is 88 percent.  That's probably the best data on recent grads around.